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MBBKBIt, • - COI.OB.IDa Time locl.c arc c.i nt r.:l hair stores. A delicate child is apt to rule the parental domicile. Th* hod-carrier always begins at the bottom of the ladder. A bad man in jail is better than two good ones In a cemetery. Some men are so lazy that they are unable to dodge a slow fever. A girl always detests flattery until some one begins to flatter her. The greatest American losses will Include the Spaniards who get away. There 1b no protective tariff on hides as far as the mosquito Is concerned. It isn’t the man who knowß the most, but tho man who knows the best that’s wisest. Some men like to mistake the echoes of their desires for tho voice of con science. ?\n woman ever entered a dry goods More without pricing things she didn’t want. An amateur is sometimes egged on the tage by his friends and egged off by the public. There are some things that will never become popular. A noiseless Fourth of July is one of them. A Spanish official says: "Spain may loan all, but will never yield her honor.” I'ncle Sam will cheerfully spare that as a by no means covetable rort of asset. Hooley, the London "promoter." who made a fortune of many millions in a few years, but who has now been adjudged a bankrupt, is said to declare that he was • blackmailed" to the point of embarrassment by unscrupulous newspapers. The assertion may be sub stantially true, yet it offers little ground for sympathy. Honest men. engag'd in legitimate enterprises, are not In danger of "blackmail." which is simply the tribute one rascal pays to another. The us** of the word Yankee to de note primarily an inhabitant of New England, and by extension, one living in the northern nates ns distinguished from a southerner, is no longer accu rate. Ex-Senator ButUr, of South Car olina. lost a pair of field glasses during a battle in the civil war. when he was severely wound'd. Taking the field an a major-general in the service of the United States, h** is to use the glnsses recently restored to him. “The last time I used these," he raid lately. "I was a confederate officer. Now 1 am a Yankee." No patriotic citizen will take any exception to this latest defi nition of what constitutes a Yankee. The great west seems destined to earn its title by something better than territorial extent. The popular inter est in education and general improve rnent is not at all behind that of the seaboard states. Nebraska has the lowest rate of illiteracy in the whole Union, and it is aid that every one of the threo thousand volunteers in the present war from Kansas could write nis own name. Western people may be willing to risk doubtful experiments in education and legislation, but they are also quick to correct mistakes, and their progress is not hindered by that stupid form of conservatism which blocks the wheels in front. When you see it in the west it Is l ight. In announcing the abandonment of the attempt to report upon the produc tion of tobacco in this country the sec retary of agriculture says: “Figures concerning tobacco published by this department for 1896 fall so manifestly short of the actual production, as dis closed by the reports of the treasury department on the amount of tobacco of domestic production upon which the revenue tax has been paid, that it is impossible to present a report for 1897 that will crmand the confidence either of the trade or of the department itself. It Is exceedingly doubtful whether the tobacco production of the country by states can be ascertained even approxi mately without the employment of sup plementary agencies at considerable expense, and in view of the reduction of the appropriation made by congress for the statistical work of the department, and considering alao the near approach of the Federal census, it is scarcely likely that any farther attempt will be made to gather statistics concerning this branch of the agricultural industry until the next census shall have fur nished a new basis as to the amount produced and the distribution of the productive area.” The working power of steam-driven machinery employed in Great Britain is estimated to be equal to that of a billion of men. In all the world. less than half that number, counting both sexes, are employed In productive in dustry. The gray alave, steam, la doing more work in Wgland alone than is being done by all mankind. In the United States It Is almost ten tlmee as great. There isn’t much patriotism in the girl who doesn't use a little powder Md wear bangs op the glorious Fourth OLD GLORY HOISTED OVER THE CITY OF SANTIAGO. Notable Scene When the City Surrendered —AU the ilMiidt Ployed "The Star Span Clod Bantu r"— General Mcltlbben to Govern the City. Washington. July 17. -The War De partment posted the following bulletin at 5:15 p. m. Santiago «le Culm. July 17.—Adjutant General. United States Army. Wash ington: I have the honor to nnuounee that the American ting has been this instant, 12 o’clock, noon, hoisted over the house of the civil government in the city of Santiago. An immense con course of peoph* present. A squadron of cavalry and a regi ment of Infantry presenting arms and hand playing national air. Light bat tery salute tired of twenty-one guns. Perfect order is being maintained by munieipai government. Distress is very great: but little sick ness in town. Scarcely any yellow fe ver. A small gunboat and about 200 s«*n nicn left by fervent have surrendered to me. obstructions are being re moved from mouth of harbor. Upon coming Into the city I discov ered a perfect entanglement of de fenses. Fighting ns th«> Spanish did rite lirst day it would have cost five thousand lives to have taken it. Battalions ..f Spanish troops have been depositing arms since daylight in the armory, over which I have guard. General Toral formally surrendered the Plaza ami all stores at !♦ a. in. (Signed.t W. If. SIIAFTKK. Major General. Santiago do Cuba, July 17. 1 p. m. — The American flag is floating in tri umph over the governor’s palace at Santiago do Cuba. General MeKlbl>eii lias been appointed temporary military governor. The ceremony of hoisting the stars and stripes was worth ail the blood and treasure it cost. A vast '•oneourse «.f Pi.'nmi people witnessed the stirring and thrilling scenes that will live for ever in tin* minds of all the Americans present. A liner stage setting for a dramatic episode It would be difficult to imagine. The palace, a picturesque old dwell ing in :lie Moorish style of architecture, faces the Plaza de la Rcina. the prin cipal public square. Opposite rises tlie imposing Catholic eathcdral. On one side is a quaint, brilliantly painted building, with broad verandas—tin* Club of San Carlos-on the other a building of the same description—the Cafe de la Venus. Across the plaza was drawn up the Ninth Infantry, bended by the Sixth cavalry band. In tlie s' reel facing the palace stood a I picked troop of tlie Se«*ond cavalry, with drawn sabres, under command of Captain Brett. Massed on tlie stone flagging between tlie band and file fine of horsemen were the brigade commanders of Gen eral Shatter's division, with their .staffs. On the red-tiled roof of the palace stood Captain Melvittrlck, Lieutenant Miley and Lieutenant Wheeler. Im mediately above them, upon the- flag staff, was the illuminated Spanish arms and the legend, "Viva Alfonso XIII.” All about, pressing against the ver anda rails, crowding the windows and doors and lining the roofs, were the people of the town, principally wom en and iiou-comhatunats. As tlie chimes of the old cathedral rang the hour of 12 the infantry and cavalry presented arms. Every American un hoisted the stars and stripes. As the brilliant folds unfurled In a gentle breeze Against a fleckless sky. the cav alry band broke into the strains of tlie "Star Span-led Banner," making the American pulse leap and the American heart thrill with joy. At the same instant the sound of the distant booming of Captain Capron’s battery, firing a salute of twenty-one guns, drifted in. When tin- music censed, from all di rections around our line came floating across the plaza the strains of the reg imental bands and the muffled, hoarse cheers of our troops. The lufnmry came to "order arms" a moment later, and. after tin* Hag was up and tie band played “Bally Round the Flag. Roys." instantly General Me Kihbcn called for three cheers for Gen oral Shaft' which were given with great enthu>iasni. the band playing Sousa’s "The Stars and Stripes For ever.” The ceremony over, General Slinf ter and hi> staff returned to the Ameri can lines, having the city in the pos session of the municipal authorities, subject to the control of General Me- Ivibben. Tlie Thirteenth and Ninth regiments of infantry will remain in the city to enforce order and exercise municipal authority. The Spanish forces are to encamp outside of our lines. At noon all the regimental bauds in our line played "The Star Spangled Banner." after which President McKin ley’s congratulatory telegram was read to each regiment'. GENERAL M’KIBBEN. The Military Governor of Hiiillßgo Hal Won Honor*. Washington, July 17.—General Cham bers McKibben, who has been ap pointed temporary military governor of Santiago, I* a member of an old and well-known Pennsylvania family. He was Ix.rn in Chnmbersburg, not far from tlie famous Gettysburg battle field. Early In the Civil War he en listed as a private in tlie regular army, and almost immediately afterwards was ap|M)inted a second lieutenant in the Fourteenth infantry. His next pro motion was given him on the 10th of June. INi>4, when he was made a first lieutenant. On August 7th of the mme year he was given n brevet commission of captain for gallant services in the battle of North Anua river. Virginia, and during the operations on the Wel don mi I road. At the <‘onclusion of the war McKlb ben chose to remain in the army, and on the r.tb of January, 1887, lie was promoted to be a captain in the Thirty fifth infantry, and on May 1,1806, lieu tenant ■ "lonel of the Twenty-first in fantry. It was ns lieutenant colonel of the Twenty-first lie went to Cuba. During the battle of Bantiago bis aer vices wore of so distinguished a Him actor as to win for him sj>eeial men tion in Geuernl Shaffer's rcqiort*. He waa among the officers rccoimncudod for promotion, and was last week named by the President ns brlgadiet general of volunteers. That the ml ministration and General Miles and General Kliafter repose great confi dence In him is indicated by Ids ap pointment as temporary military gover uor of the city. TERMS OF SURRENDER. HpanUh Oncer* to Itctaln Kltle Arm- Other Favor* Stiown. Santiago. July 17.—The terms of sur render as determined by the couiniK sloners and agreed t<» by the Spauii-h government, are as follows: First—That all hostilities shall const trending the agreement of final capita latiou. Second—That the capitulation it: eludes nil the Spanish forces aud tin surrender of nil war material within tlie prescribed limits. Third—Tlie tmnqHirtntion «>f troop* to Spain at tlie earliest po.-s-ble m*. incut, each force to lie embarked at tin nearest port. Fourth—That tlie Spanish officer shall retain their side anus and the eu listed men their iHTsoual projierty. Fifth—That after the final cn pi tula tiou tin* Spanish forces shall assist i:. tb«> removal of all obstructions to nav igation in Santiago harbor. Sixth-That after the filial cnpittila tion th<- commanding officers shall fur nisli a complete inventory of all mm? and munitions of war and a roster o: all tin* soldiers in tlie district. Seventh That the Spanish general shall jH-rmitted to take the military archives and the records with him. Eighth—That all guerrillas and Span isli irregulars shall be permitted to re main in Cuba, if they s<» elect, giving a pamh* that they will not again take up arms against tlie United States un less properly released from paroles. Ninth T hat tlie Spanish forces shall Im* permitted to march out with all the honors of war. deiKisiting tlieir arms, to lie disiwised of by the United States in the future, the American coiumis' sioncr* to nvoiiitiieml to their govern ment that tin* arms of tlieir soldiers lx* returned to those "who bravely de fended them.” The articles were signed yesterday nf tenioon. after a four-hours’ session of tlie commissioners, who agreed that tlie terms of capitulation should await the sanction of the Madrid government. M’KINLEY TO SHAFTER. Kxprrn.ru III* Appreciation nf the Uooi! Work of the Army. Washington. July 17.—'The following message was sent yesterday by Bros ident McKinley: "To General Sliafter. Commander. Front. Near Santiago—The President of the United States sends *o yon anil your brave army the profound thanks of the American |i»*ople for the bril liant achievements at Santiago, result ing in the surrender of the city and all of tin* Spansli troops and territory un der General Toral. "Your splendid command lias en dured not only tlie hardships aud sac rifices incident to campaign aud bat tie, hut in Ktresn of bent and weather has triumphed over obstacles whirl: would have overcome men less brav and determined. One and all have dis played the most conspicuous gallantry and earned the gratitude of tin* nation The hearts of the jieople turn with ten der sympathy to the sick and wound cd. May the Father of Mercies prote< and comfort them. (Signed) WILLIAM McKINLEY." CUBANS WANT SANTIAGO. Th* LMderi Have a I'len for K*t:il>tl*hlng Their (iovcrnmnit. Washington. July 16. —lt is learned that the Cuban junta, anticipating tin success of General Shaffer's army, has formulated plans and is now exerting its utmost Influence to persuade t’u bans who fled to the United States to escape the cruelties of General Weyler to return to Santiago as soon ns order lias lM*en restored there. Tt seems to lie tlie plan of those at the head of the Cuban insurgents to make Santiago the sent of tlieir government, and to collect there nil Cubans who sympa thize with them or can Im- induced to co-operate. It Is not understood to lie the pur pose of tlie junta to arm ihis force. Tomas Estrada Palma, president of the Junta; Moreno de la Torre, secre tary of state of the Cuban Republic, and envoys from Generals Gomez, Gar cia and Diaz are now at West Tampa directing tho movement. It is believed here to Im* tlie purpose of these leaders to pack tlie island with supporters ns fast ns the territory is conquered by tlie Americnu array, so ns to control Cuba if the form of government is submitted to a popular vote. Torsi'* llesvy I.o**e*. Santiago. July 17.—General Toral. the white-haired commander of the Spanish forces, was present through out tin* session of the commissioners, ami np|H*ared to in* utterly heart broken. He spoke bitterly of the fate which compelled him to sue for peace, but had no word to say against the gallant men who had conquered his army. He declared that he had little chance to wiu. "I would not desire to see my worst enemy play with the cards I held,” ho said to one of the commissioners. "Every one of my generals were killed or wounded. I have not n single colonel left, and am surrounded by a powerful enemy. We have counted sixty-seven ships off this port. “And liesides,” he concluded, wear ily waving his hands towards the city, "I have secret troubles there." Speaking of tlie battle of the 24th of June, in which the Rough Riders and a part of General Young's command participated. General Toral said that tens than 2,000 Kpanlsh troops were engaged, the loss being 265. He would not say how many Spaniards had been killed at El Caney and before Santi ago. "Heavy, heavy,” he said, de jectedly. It is understood that General Miles, who is to liave general command of the operations In Porto Rico, will not re turn to the United States, bnt will pro ceed directly to a point near San Joan with such of the military forces now at Bawiago as are to form a part of tbs expedition against Porto Rico, GENERAL M'KINLEY. KNOWS SOME THING ABOUT WAR HI, I'oslti* n on the Surrenderor Santiago , Proven to Ho a Wlee One— Program for the Future. Chicago. July 16.—Tlie Washington 1 correspondent of the Record tele graphed his pnjK*r us follows yester- H turns out that the President is wi-.r than any <»f his generals. His military sagacity hits been demonstrat \Vc shall probably hear u good v explanations from Miles, Shaf „.r ami the other Iwld warriors at the fr-niit as to why they recommended the acceptance of the Spaniards’ offers of ; capitulation: but it is fair to assume ' that their judgment was warped by the rains and floods and tlie tuud ami the discomforts of the men. aud partic- I ularly by the fear of yellow fever. The President was immensely grati- : li.tl when lie got the message that the surrender was absolute, with only the condition that the Spnninril* should »>• s. iit home at our expense. That will !.. more of an accommodation to u> : iliau the Spanish government. Prison ~I S ~f war are always a nuisance, ami 1 oral's men would iu»vo been purlieu- j larly so incause of tlieir contagious diseases mid their poverty. Unde Sain must not only feed but clothe them. Nearly every man In the Spanish army j Is in rags, and it would is* much cheap- | cr and easier to send them to Europe ! •is first-class passengers than keep them J here on rations for <ix months. The | plans for tlieir disposition liave not yet j Im-cii decided iqion. but it is the under- ! standing at tin* War Department that neutral vessels like the emigrant ships of the German and Italian companies will Im* chartered and sent to Santia go to furnish tin* transportation. It is no: thought best to risk our transports in such treacherous waters as those of Spain, and liesides the Spaniards must leave germs in them: we need them for other puriMises. General McKinley, who has proved a bigger man than Miles or Shatter, does not propose to l«-t the present triumph interfere with future ones. While lie expects that Spain will now ask terms of peace, he believes the best way to realize that expectation is to keep pounding, and General Brooks lias I called to Washington to confer concerning the preparation of his troops at Fliiekamauga for the Porto Rico expedition. It is tin* puriNise of General McKinley to call home all tlie boys at Santiago except the artillery as rapidly as iwissibU*. aud give them a <fiiunee to rest and feed up and tell the folks alMiut tlieir fighting, while several regiments of immuues will in* sent down to garrison that city during the summer and assist a military gov ernor. who will probably lie General Sliafter. to restore order and rebuild the town and revive business aud agri culture In that province. Every j»ossi blc encouragement will lie offered tin* residents of eastern Cuba to recover tlieir pros|M*rity. Steamship communi cation with New York will Im> resumed at once, public improvements will Ik* introduced aud tin* owners of planta tions will Im* afforded protection while they clear tlieir fields and plant tlieir eroji*. Tho Iron mines will Im* In op eration very shortly, because the ore is needed in Baltimore. Pittsburg and Chicago, and lM*fore the summer is ended eastern Cuba will Im* in a con dition to illustrate what may lie cx jmtried of the rest of the island when it is relieved from Spanish despotism. No attempt will be made to attack Havana. General Blanco will lie al lowed to contemplate his fortifications aud study the art of war within his own lines without disturbance from our ships or soldiers. He is entirely cut off from communication with .Ma drid and the last news lie wifi hear from the outside will Im? that Santiago has surrendered. One can imagine the unhappy aud hopeless situation in which lie is placed, with his supplies of food rapidly growing less and no prospects of rescue or re-enforce ments. Commodore Watson’s missionary ex pedition will ul*> Im* hastened in order to furnish the Spaniards a pra<:ical example of war and emphasize the determination of Uncle Sam to have ids own way. While his orders will not be made public, it is generally as sumed by naval people that Watson will be instructed to blockade if In does not lioiiihnrd Cadiz or Malaga, which, with the exception of Barce lona, are the most im]tortant ports in Spain. It is 'expected also that he will seize Scuta, tin* Spanish out|sist on the African side of the Straits of Gibraltar, and hold It as a lni.se of supplies. John ny Bull would Im* tremendously pleased if tlint could Im* mvomplishod, liecause the Spanish fortifications are almost in sight of tlie gnus of Gibral tar. and hillious of dollars' worth of British commerce pass through :lint gateway every year. Then* is not -the slightest apprehen sion in admin Istration circles concern ing the attitude of Germany In the Philippines or elsewhere. On the con trary. there is a perfect understanding between tlie two governments mid tin* two admirals at Manila. While some of the German officers may show Inde pendence and iM?rhai>s impertinence, the Emperor and lfls ministers con cede the position of the United States in the Philippine islands and will not interfere In any measure with our plans. TOTAL CASUALTIES IN CUBA. Kilted *4l, Woaodrd 1,584, Mtaalag 84. General Shatter** Headquarter*, July 15, via Kingston. Jamaica, July 15, 3:30 p. m.—The final rejMirt of casual ties in the army since it landed in Cuba three weeks ago has U*en for warded to Washington. It »hows an aggregate of U»l4 officer* and men killed, wounded and The killed number 246. of whom twenty one were officers; wounded. 1,584. i>f whom ninety-eight were officers, ami miaatng, eighty-four, of whom none were officers. Of the wounded only eighty-eight have died. Colonel Pope, the surgeon-in-chief, says this is a remarkably small num ber of fatalities, considering tbe large ■amber of wounded. !■ tbe field hospitals there have baea a remarkably small number of aeptlc wounds and but two care* of gangrene have developed, one of which . resulted fatally. You Can Cet Tired By working hard, and then yon can gat rested sga'o. But if you are tired all the time it means that your blood is poor. You need to take Hood’s Sarsaparilla, the great cure for that tired feeling because it is the great enricher and vltalixsr of the blood. You will find appetite, nerve, mental and digestive strength in Hood’s Sarsaparilla America’s Greatest Medicine. Hood’s Pills cure nausea. Indigestion. 85c. STARCH, \ T*7 THE BEST FOR £ Shirt Waists, Shirt Fronts, ~ Yy yWCuWs ud S If Delicate == Jfl V Clothes. "* -Ns, Read our “ Laugh 3 \ I earn. ! Dear Madam: Your bread needn’t smell of soda or alum or lime. Schilling's Best baking powder lias no lime or alum or excess of soda. 4 Dr. SUNN’S-’S ONE FOR A DOSE. QBI I O ItrmoTS Prc»*nt WRI ■ Curiff tliuD.ood, ■ ILLU Cere lte»ilsrh.* sun I>ys|»Misia. ■ ■ ™ A morrmcpl of the bowels r*ch rt»r is nsrt'ssary f-.r lirslth. Tlior neither eripe nor sicken. To eon eicice r»». *' *lll mail s*tnj.ln fr-e, or fell box for Uc. Sold hr druggists. Cit. IOSANKC CO.. PMIU., M. EDUCATIONAL. CTAMDCDDV NORMAL SCHOOL and OIARDCnni BUSINESS COLLEGE No other western school offers f«|unl uilvnnt " " a lies at such low rates. FREE BOOKS. IWiffiSrAertll a year of 4o weeks.. wl£U NORMAL. COMMERCIAL AND MUSIC Send for I lluutratcd Catalogue. J. A. TAYLOR, President, STANBERRY, *O. Denver Directory. ThE DcNvaa tent 1 AffMtho* Mtr—l,| BjftilmMMSESi HXI-K KI.AMTIC Stockings raodo by u*. Send for blank. Tho J. Durbin Hargical *nd llental Supply Company. 14u« Curtis Street, inear St James Hotel.) TiinniurUarA * n ni * io °P- Ruppn«* I VllPaM IIPIN etc. DKMvca Tthwsitis I JJJUWI lIUIO Kicuanuk. Denver, Col). 2 NO Hand Machinery, Mining, Engine*, Boil err. etc. Scud for price*. S. 8. Machinery Co.. 1520 laiwrcnce. WarehouseCth&Market. OXFORD HOTEL r^pot* 1 **tH.-uy t Clftsa. Popular Price*. KAPPLKR A MORSE. TCkITC AUfUllinc WAUOX COVKRS, ete- ItniOl AIvNINUOI A.lMrlngtoa * Co 17itf Larimer Street, Denver. Catalogue mailed free. ELECTRICAL APPARATUS PAIH WORK. FLINT A IAIMAX, Denver. Cola. nannCDICC Anything you want on Karth UnUuCnlCO »btppcl < . o. I> : price list free. Consumers' Wholesale House, Itttli aud Bl*ke St*. INTER-OCEAN HOTEL iwanplan 50c, Tic and II i>er>lay. Leo. N. Stein, Prop. OR and new H KNITCKK, I’LANON, LU stoves.etq.. lit one fourth original cost IVrltcorcall. Want Auction CO., ITi'-’-ti Arapahoe Si THE MONTELIUS PIANO CO., *l3-531 li:th H..'iDenver, sell splendid piano) made t>> standard uiann- ffiOOC M AIItMJANV Olt raeturer* for only JZuD OAK CASKS. Warranted for ■> years, tvnte today. Kaay payments. lIKXVKR VARIETY MACHINE KIIOI*. Thomas Crow, proprietor. Manutacturcr of Im prove*! Steam Hoisters, Shafting, l*utley*. Hangers, T«>ols and General Machinery. Second-Hand Ma chinery of ail kinds Honght. Sold and Exchanged. Machinery licpaltod. Steam Engine Cylinders Itu tored In their place- 1713 Blake Street, Denver. pH 3»Uf. (?,!•.'% II Btantod, Princpal.KlHChampaiMt. Assays war " rsbt»dcorrect and proepptretam made. Assay ing taught for 43. V In two week*. Assky for gold and silver 50e. Send for ore mack* and faU price list. E. E. BCIRUNOACirS ASSAY OFFICE Established In Colorado, 1894. Samples by matt or tzpreaa wIU raoaive prompt and earefal attention. COLD AND SILVER BULLION Reamed, Melted amd Aeeayed or Pmrehaeed. Addres* ITMandins latwreaeeßt.. Otnver.Oote Denver Public --- Sampling Works, •m sols ss nu „ . . guaue basket. Dtflver, Cbti. SAYIMGS OF THE DARKIES. Deerefe Nature of the File*—A Substitute for Marriage —A Negro’s Illustratloa From New York Sun: The southern darkles are a constant source of amuse, ment, when they arc not the cause of unmitigated wrath, to the northern peo ple who go down there among them. The other day a young northern wom an, living in Washington and possessed of a deep and abiding antipathy for flies, complained to Lucinda, the col ored servant, that there were a good many of the pestH in the house. "I don’t see. Lucinda,” she remarked se verely. "how all these flies could get in if you kept the screen doors closed." “Well, I dunno, eitheh. Miss," cheer fully remarked Lucinda. "But you know they Is of a secret nachuh. Miss." Down in Mississippi, in one of the lum ber towns, which is owned by north erners. the house servants and some of the laborers are darkies. They are not very strict In their notions of law and order, and they have their own and very lax ideas along the line of matri mony. Wives and husbands are swap ped off with such freedom and fre quency that it is rather hard to keep track of the exact contemporaneous combination among the negroes at n given time. The colored people have solved the delicate point of expressing exact relationship by avoiding the sub ject of matrimony altogether. "'Lize she’s cookin’ fur Duke Johnson now." That’s the way they put it. The wom an doesn’t "marry” anybody. She "cooks fur’* him One of these darkies was telling about a woman on a steam boat. The levee had caved so that the boat had to land further up than usual. It was at night and the searchlight, turned on the bank, did not reveal any thing familiar to the woman. She hung back, therefore, and the darky who had been detailed to put her ashore didn’t know what to do. "She stood thah like a horse lookin’ at a strange gate,’’ he said. It was this same negro who was one day listening to one of his acquaintances dilate on experiences with the Lord. From the darky’s ac counts these experiences seemed tc have been extremely intimate, and without a word of comment the negre spoke up and said: "Wen you all seec de Lord, wah He?" That is to say: When "you saw the Lord, where wa: He? The boaster was quite taker aback by this simple question and sub sided. Fanny Toothache Cure*. Before the days of dentists, and when people generally believed in the value of charms, there were ever so many mysterious ways of preventing tooth ache. One of these was to dress the right side of the body first —right stock ing, right shoe, right sleeve, right glove. A favorite plan in Scotland was to draw a tooth, salt it well and burn it in full view on glowing coals. In Cornwall many save their teeth by biting the first young ferns that appear. The custom of catching a common ground mole, cutting off the paws while the little creature still lives, and wearing them, is traced to Staffordshire, England. Some people who arc fond of exercise believe that walking twelve miles—no more, no less —to get a splinter of the toothache tree that grows particularly well In Canada and Virginia will drive away the worst ache and pain that ever tortured a poor tooth. The belief that toothache is caused by a worm at the roots is prevalent in many parts of the world, hence this cure: Reduce sev eral different kinds of herbs —the greater variety the better--to a powder. Put a glowing cinder into this powder and Inhale the incense. Afterward breathe into a cup of water, and the worm will be gone forever. Moat Justifiable Swearing. Sunday School Teacher—" Tommy, I was shocked to hear you swearing so dreadfully at that strange boy as he came in.” couldn’t help it, ma’am. He was making fun at our kind of religion. I couldn’t stand it." Good One. She—Your jokes remind me of a Spanish gunner. He—ln what way, pray? She —They rarely succeed in their aim.—Post Courier. Me* i Fetal Thee Scalping. Mamma—Playing Indian Is so rough. Why are you crying? ftave they been scalping you again? Spotted Panther (alias Willie)—No, toamma; we have been smoking the pipe ox peace—Stray Stories. “Scenio Lii@ of taewomr a <*'•• -w i ■* TMC POPULAR UNI TO LEMIVILLE, 6LENWOOB SPRINGS ASPEN, GRAM JUNCTION AMD ~ ORIPPLE CREEK ■Bamite aN tfte principal tOwae ‘and min ing earnpe In Patens**, Utafi and /, . 1 H«(>TftßOtMtH i-5 *JSfc^A»CrOtTY EM ROUTB WJUII PACIF.C COAST. THE TDURISTS FAffHtal LINE TO ALL MOUNTAIN KSNONTN. AH through Main* equipped witfc.PuUi*ia Palace *a* Tourist HeeptogCar. Tm tteflpjgy Ills tasted t’escripßrs hook* free jf east, agitate * ' VT.MWIBY, A.SHHWKM. L-K. MOOPNI. teftatefcrilfr. Hbluip. fcelMtAft DENVER, COLORADO.