OCR Interpretation


The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, October 21, 1905, Image 3

Image and text provided by History Colorado

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn90051081/1905-10-21/ed-1/seq-3/

What is OCR?


Thumbnail for

THE VAGABOND.
Give to me thin life I love.
Let the love go by me;
Give the Jolly heaven above
And the byway nigh me. - *
Red in the bush with stars to see.
Bread I dip In the river—
There’s the life for a man like me,
There’s the life forever.
Let the blow fall soon or late, •*-
Let what will be o'er m«;
Give the face of earth around.
And the road before me. ..
Wealth I ask not. hope nor love*
Nor a friend to know me;
All 1 ask, the heaven above
And the road below me.
—Robert Louis Stevenson.
The Parson's
Substitute
w Judson’s Corners was going to
church. For nearly four months the
roads had been almost impassable.
Backsliders were many, for it meant
a day’s work to clean Judson mud off
spring wagon and harness.
Mr. Bliss smiled a smug little smile
and gently tapped his hymn book with
his glasses. "It will be a good day
for my spring missionary sermon,”
said he, "I thought so. I wonder if
Amos Billings has sold his town lot
yet.” And he mentally counted the
tenth.
As he turned to go back into the
church - he became aware that some
one had stepped around the east cor
ner by the sycamore. He saw that
the new-comer wanted to speak to
him and he waited.
As the man approached the clergy
man noted his appearance. He was a
small man about his own build and
poorly dressed, ragged in fact. He
was pale and clean shaven except for
small side-burns, an odd accompani
ment of rags. His hat having lost
any trace of its original shape is best
described as slouch. It was pulled
down over his eyes.
"You are the Rev. Mr. Moses P.
Bliss, I presume," was the very ele
gant remark of the stranger. And
what was more wonderful to the as
tonished minister, he toolf off his hat
and bowed like a Chesterfield.
"Ah—yes. What can I do for you?”
he replied. He was going to add "my
good man,” but stopped.
"I would like to speak to you In
your study for a few minutes. I
won’t keep you long. I see Hiram
Jenkins’ gig is the first on the hill
and he won’t be here for a few min-
yet. Of course—if— ’’
"Oh, certainly, certainly. Come
right in. I am always glad even at
the eleventh hour to show a brother
the way; the way to a better life.
Just follow me.’’
As they walked through the empty
little church with its bare wooden
pews, the minister cudgeled his brain.
"Who can he be? His face seems fa
miliar and I am sure I have seen him
before. A lost sheep come back to
the fold I judge. Well we'll see; weil
see.”
They walked up the three steps to
the pulpit, then crossed it and went
through a small door at the back
which led to the study. Mr. Bliss
closed it '•arefully and motioned his
visitor to a chair.
"Sit down, my friend,” he said as
he went to the table and laid down
his glasses and books. “What can I
do for you?”
“Just this, old duffer,” said the
stranger pleasantly, "take off your
clothes.”
The astonished old man was reach
ing for his handkerchief when he
heard this remarkable demand, but
he dropped his arms and looked up,
too amazed to speak.
“Why—I—don’t—” but the words
died in his throat as he suddenly saw
a six shooter not twelve lncnes from
his nose.
"No ‘why’s’ and ‘don’ts.’ Do what
» I tell you and hurry about it too. I’ll
give you fifteen seconds for your coat
and vest and as many more for your
trousers. And I want your shirt and
collar and tie and shoes.”
Resistance never entered his head.
He slipped off the coat and vest, and
even the collar and tie but—he stop
ped. A sound reached them. It was
the Jenkins family entering the
church. A quick hope showed in the
good man’s face; he’d call.
"Yell and I’ll finish you.”
The Rev. Mr. Bliss was ready for
anything now. He was fully prepared
to do hand-springs down the church
aisle, or to climb the bell-rope, or run
fifty times around the church, all the
while saying, "The devil was chasing
his mother round the stump,” to the
tune of. a gun banging after him at
every corner. He had heard of queer
bets and so on. But he wasn’t pre
pared for what happened.
"Now I’ll give you two minutes to
get the whole outfit on yours truly.”
So, to the accompaniment of some
more oaths, everyone of which made
him jump, the clergyman obeyed. If
the congregation could have seen
the study door a strange sight
would have met their gaze; their own
beloved pastor in his underclothes,
tying a black cravat on a ministerial
looking person who was holding a gun
recklessly near the good man’s head.
Then dragging him to a corner be
tween two book cases, the pseudo
parson dumped him on a stack of old
hymn books. He picked up a pad and
pencil from the table and put them on
the clergyman’s shaking knees. "Now
111 preach your sermon for you, and
to keep your mind off your trouble
you can write, ‘Mary had a little lamb’
three hundred times. Every one
you're shy means a hole through you.
Don’t try the window. It’s nailed on
the outside. Queer you didn’t notice
it. Now be good,” ho added cheerful
ly-
The congregation had begnu to won
der where the minister was. Hannah
Hotchkiss whispered audibly to Mrs.
Hawkins. “Perhaps Jane Bliss was
took bad at the last minute and he
couldn’t leave. If he doesn't ccmc
soon I’ll take the short cut by the
crick and go over."
Her words were cut short by the
opening of the study door. A stranger
appeared. He was greeted by the us
ual whispering and uplifted brows.
When he had carefully closed the
door he stepped forward and closed
his eyes a minute as if in prayer.
Then he looked around and smiled,
a beautiful pious smile. In a confid
ing voice he said, “Dear young friends
—I have noticed the absence of age
here to-day—l regret very much that
our dear friend and brother, Mr. Bliss,
cannot be with us. Ahem—Ahem.”
Echo from the study. “I have Just
returned from the p—, from foreign
lands and have been asked to take
charge of the service for our absent
brother, and to preach the annual
missionary sermon.” Groans from the
study, followed by a loud and violent
sneeze.
“ ‘From Greenland’s Icy Mountains.’
Rise and sing,” said the stranger
loudly.
The Judsonltes were quickly on
their feet singing for dear life.
Next came the announcements. The
card had been left on the open Bible.
“Services this evening by the pastor.
Subject—T was naked and ye clothed
me.’ ” Noise from the study.
“Rise and sing, ‘There is a Green
Hill.’ ” Judson sang “The Green Jlill”
and sat down. Fat Mr. Hobbs was
puffing.
The stranger went on: “A recital
by the choir on Tuesday evening at
the home of—” Another sneeze from
the study.
“ ‘Safely Guarded.’ Every one
stand.”
“Blest if I can,” wheezed Mr. Hobbs.
The hymn finished, the stranger
continued, “Prayer meeting on
Wednesday evening at the usual hour.
There will be no collection on that
evening as this is the day for the an
nual missionary offering and a large
amount is requested.”
More sounds from the study.
“Bing,” he fairly shouted, “sing
number three hundred. Three hun
dred,” he repeated to the study door.
With what breath they had left,
they sang. “Thank goodness, he
didn’t say to stand,” sighed Mr.
Hobbs.
Then everything went well. The
sounds in the study ceased. The
stranger read a chapter from Job and
then announced his text; “Cast your
bread upon the waters.” With a
beaming smile he went on, “Now, we
will have the offering. Will the dea
cons please pass the baskets?"
Four old men moved squeakily up
the aisle. They passed the baskets
back and forth through the pews and
the clink, clink of the money brought
a smile of satisfaction to the mission
ary’s face. The deacons placed the
offering at his feet and turned to go
back to their seats.
From where he sat he saw the faces
of the congregation suddenly chaege.
Smiles changed to a horrified stare.
They seemed to see an apparition.
He turned and beheld the pastor
standing in the doorway beside him
clad from head to foot in the most
atrocious rags and looking scared and
weak.
The stranger rose quietly and
smiled. He laid his revolver on the
desk and with a deft movement re
moved his wig with which came the
side-burns. The people gasped.
"Keep your seats, my friends. No
need for anyone to rise now.” And
he picked up his gun. “I am sorry
this has happened. No one regrets it
more than I. Allow me, my dear
brother.” And taking the clergyman
to the pulpit steps, he made him sit
down. “There that’s better. Now I
can see you.” With another smile
he went on: “Allow me to thank you,
kind friends for your generous offer
ing. I need it badly.” And stooping,
he conveyed the contents of each bas
ket to his pocket. “And by the way,
Mr. Bliss, I want to thank you for
this handsome suit. I hope you didn’t
catch cold. I shall now turn the rest
of the service over to you. I regret
that I cannot leave the cash.”
Then he lightly jumped down from
where he stood and swinging his gun
carelessly in one hand he walked
slowly and smilingly down the aisle.
“I see so many old friends here.
One feels better when he has com
pany in misery. Let me see; still
weighing butter light. Josh? I told
you once it wasn’t honest Better
take to preaching, ha, ha! I will have
my little joke. And I do believe that
Nancy Barr finally landed Dan Willis.
Well, Dan, you deserved a better fate.”
He walked a few steps down the
aisle, and went on: “Say, Lem, do
you remember the day you and I stole
the parson’s white horse and sold him
and split even? And Deaoon Green
field, didn’t you get next? Yes, now
I remember, you did and we gave you
ten dollars to forget it. My! Those
were good told times. Well, I must be
going. Hiram, I’ll borrow your sorrel
mare as far as Summerville Station.
I’ll just have time to make the noon
train.” —Olive Roberts Barton In
Farm and Ranch.
The Bacillus of Laziness.
Some of the Eastern papers are
having much fun over the re
ported bacillus of laziness that
some one has located theoretical
ly. The Washington papers declare
that it is to be met with most
abundantly in South America and
that a professor is about to go thither
to hunt it up. A Philadelphia paper
suggests that the said professor will
meet with better results if he will “go
gunning around Washington" when
Congress is in session.
SNAKE AS A HYPNOTIST.
Power Over Its Victims Now Explain
ed on Occult Grounds.
Hypnotism has been advanced as
an explanation of the peculiar fisci
nation exercised by serpents over
weak animals which become so influ
enced by the eyes and body move
ments of their charmer that they are
easily captured. Birds, squirrels and
mice are the readiest victims.
According to the instances observed
the doomed animals seem to realize
their danger, but are powerless to
resist the influence. Sometimes a
diversion, such as a sudden noise, will
break the spell. It may have been, in
the instances observed, that the vic
tim was a parent trying to distract
the snake's attention from its young
and approaching incautiously too near
its enemy. Or there may have been
an attraction by curiosity or antipathy,
the victim becoming careless of its
danger through anger or weak
through terror. The explanation that
a state of hypnosis is induced is rea
sonable.
The common hen may be readily
hypnotized and music renders some
mammals incapable of movement. The
first, move of the snake's victim may
be one of curiosity. Then the snake
may, even without being aware of it,
exert its hypnotic influence and. see
ing its prey within reach, naturally
avail itself of its opportunity.
HOW MOROS MAKE FIRE.
Bimple Apparatus That Can Always
Be Depended Upon.
There is still in use among the
Moros a curious apparatus for making
fire. The apparatus consists of a bam
boo stick, a bit of china and tinder.
The whole, connected with cords,
is worn at the belt of the owner.
When he wants a fire the native takes
the bamboo firmly in the left haud
and in his right hand bolds the bit
of china by the finger and thumb and
on the thumb side he pinches a bit oi
tinder. The edge of the china is then
struck sharply down and along the
bamboo. A bit of the bamboo is
scraped off, not much, because the
wood is hard and the outside has quite
a glaze, but enough to be made in
candescent by the stroke, producing a
bright and long spark. The tinder
catches this spark and flame is the
result. Very little practice is required
to enable even a novice to light a fire
by this means.
Danger in Forcing Children.
Labor tears down the mental facul
ties of the child, causing the mind to
become dwarfed and stunted at an
early age when subjected to continual
hard work, as in field and factory.
While enough physical exercise is nec
essary to the development of the
brain, too much has the opposite ef
fect. The mind must be stimulated
bjr the right kind of diversion, and in
orler to attain the best results must
choose for itself, according to the
mental and moral responsibility of the
individual. The parent should be the
judge of this and should not for any
reason be too severe with children
at an early age, lest by overstraining
any of the functions of the body or
brain they become prematurely de
ranged.—Philadelphia Ledger.
The Envelope m the Window.
If you were in a certain Irish town
and were looking out for lodgings you
would probably come to the conclu
sion that none were to be had, for,
search as you might for the familiar
“apartments to let” notices so often
seen in the windows of houses in
other places you would search in
vain. Instead you might observe fas
tened by the flap to the window a
clean white envelope. This is an in
dication to all whom It may concern
that apartments are to be had within.
This curious custom Is greatly in
vogue at the seaside health resort.
'Kllkee, County Clare, where ail
heuses that have apartments to let
exhibit a white envelope.
Practical Gratitude.
With almost poetic reciprocity Fred
Newhard, an industrious youth of 18,
secured the release of his friend, Ja
cob Muth, from prison, says an Allen
town dispatch to the Philadelphia Pub
jlic Ledger. Last year Muth
Newhard from drowning at Atlantic
City. Muth had been arrested for
fighting, and was committed in default
of SSOO bail. When Newhard heard of
his plight he offered to become bonds
iman, but was not accepted because he
is a minor. Promptly selling a house
he owned for $2,000, he walked into
the alderman’s office and threw down
the SSOO bail demanded in gold, which
the magistrate was bound to acce'pt.
Humorous Burglar.
A specimen of the modern burglar's
humor, when a Bristol lady and her
husband returned the other day from
a short trip to the south coast, among
other evidences of an unknown guest
they found attached to one of the
lady’s bonnets this note: “Dear Madam
—Tell George he must really buy you
another bonnet. This is an exact copy
of one my old aunt used to wear
twenty years ago.”—London Tit-Bits.
Ars There Any Ghosts?
The man who does not believe in
ghosts because he has never seen one.
or treats all ghost stories as mere Ilea
or meaningless hallucinations with or
without some striking coincidence,
should nowadays be treated kindly but
firmly as an intellectual trogeodyte.
and given to understand that his views
car.not be accepted In the twentieth
century by those who are capable of
seeing the light when it shines on
he in. —A. Fellows in the Occult Re
!•. v.
FOR THE PLAIN GIRL.
Possible to Cultivate Beauty of the
Finest Sort.
A good many girls are considered
pretty, and plain girls cast a some
what envious glance at them, and
each murmurs Inwardly, “Oh, dear,
how I wish I were pretty!”
Cheer up, poor little plain girls, for
you can be victorious over your pret
tier sisters. Remember that the face
should be the true index of the heart
and soul.
By cultivating amiable emotions
and noble desires the countenance
which does not possess outward love
liness will in time have a beauty of a
finer and more appealing nature than
was ever attained by perfect features
and a roße-leaf complexion.
When one meets a plain girl who is
a heartfelt Christian, trying to walk
in the straight road, unselfish, loving
and pure-minded, her plain face be
comes a sort of revelation of the heav
enly soul hidden through the surface
of plainness, just as the most price
less jewels are discovered in the most
unlovely localities.
Remember, plain girls, what the
great poet Spencer wrote, "For of the
soul the body form doth take.”—llos
ton Globe.
MARRIAGE IMPROVES A MAN.
Woman's Idea Is That Wife Drums
Manners Into Him.
"Din you ever notice how it im
proves a man to be married?” This
query was propounded by a young
southern woman here. “You can al
ways depend upon it that it is a mar
ried man who shows you all the small
courtesies in an elevator; it is a mar
ried man who stands up for you in the
street car and it is a married man who
does ail the chores at a picnic. The.
most thoughtless. Irresponsible kind of
a single man often becomes a verit
able model of amiability after he gets
him a wife. I suppose his wife has so
drummed good manners into him that
he has to keep practicing all the time
to keep in trim. I believe business
men have more respect for a married
man, too. They succeed better in ev
erything they do. Why, only the other
day there was a baseball game be
tween the married men and the single
men. Who won? The married men,
of course. And you can’t tell me their
wives did not have something to do
with it.”—Philadelphia Record.
Signs of Ancient Tragedy.
Dr. Sellln, an archaeologist, found
some odd relics in excavations he
made at Taanach in Palestine. Anting
them was the skeleton of a Canaat ite
lady surrounded by the skeletons/ of
five children from about 4 to 16 years
of age. A bronze knife among the re
mains seems to point to a tragedy
which must have occurred shortly be
fore everything was covered up, for
the ornaments of the lady, the large
jars for holding provisions, and a little
bronze figure of Astarte were found
untouched. There were also several
valuable Jewels. Some ancient letters
'were unearthed at the same place. One
of them reads: “To Istarwasur, Aman
hasir, may Adad preserve thee! Send
thy brothers with their carts and send
a horse, thy tribute, and presents and
all prisoners who are with thee to Me
giddo on the day of the reception. ’
African Elephant Doomed.
Unless public opinion Is kept in
formed as to what is going on, there
is very little hope that the African
elephant can be preserved. In the
first place, owing to its far larger
growth of tusks, this species is the
main object of the ivory hunter. The
African ivory is the whiter, the harder
and the dearer of the two. Also the
tusks are very much larger than those
of the Asiatic elephant, so that the
hunter gets more money for less trou
ble—or rather, did get it. for hunting
the elephant for its Ivory can bow
oqly be carried on in Asia In parts of
the forests of Burmah, or “by permis
sion” in certain districts of India.—
County Gentleman and Land and
Water.
How Wine Is Colored.
Most people think white grapes
make white wine and dark grapes
make red wine; it is a popular error.
Red wine is made by fermenting grape
juice and grape skins together, and
white wine is made by fermenting
grape juice alone. The juice of white
and dark grapes does not differ in hue.
In each sort of grape the Juice is al
most as colorless as weak lemonade.
Champagne is made of a grape so dark
as to be nearly black, but the juice of
that nearly black grape is quite as
pale as that of the ordinary white
grape.—London Tatlor.
Value of Habit of Reading.
The late Cornelius Vanderbilt, when
addressing some university students,
said: “Cultivate the habit of reading
for a certain time every day. As a
brain-molder and wit-sharpener I know
nothing to equal it. 1 have known
many men in my time who have made
large fortunes, and every one of them
loved books at least as much as he
loved dollars.
Heard Maine Had Blown Up.
A few days after the battleship
Maine was blown up in Havana har
bor, and while the whole world was
excited over the event, a Frenchman
came out of a lumber camp In New
Hampshire and made his appearance
in Gorham depot. Stepping up to the
station agent in a state of great ex
citement, he asked if Maine had blown
up. The agent replied that it had.
Tears came into the poor fellow s eyes
as he said: “I got a sister: she live
down to Rumford Fall; 1 supr-'s-r * o
jlow up with him.”
DAVID SMITH & CO.
Rough Lumber UMBER Finishing Lumber
Builders supplies of every description
Everything sold at bed/rock prices
We sell for cash only No credit to anyone
The Harp-JoHantgen
MANUFACTURING AND BLACK
SMITH COMPANY
Workers in iron, wood and steel.
Horseshoeing a specialty. Repairing.
F. N. JoHantgen, Manager
Shop Corner of Market and Fifth Streets. Phone No. 2.
miiiihkiuiiPii I UAI) I UKIfl
Forlnftuitsand^Chndren.
The Kind You Have
MSBBII Always Bought
AVfegctable Preparationfor As- # m
slmilatinjJltieFooitandlteßula- _ ~ /
ling die Stomachs and Bowels of £>63XB tllo f I
■miiKM-—Signature s ft u
Promotes Di(;c3lion.Cheerrul- M *1 tfe
ness and Rest. Contains neither n P /! fif
Opium. Morphine nor Mineral. U* #l\ # \ 1/
KoiNahcotic. Vll
*ouir.nKcizmvaa .
JW' Ijf V
Mx.Smn* • 1 l/l a
BurkmUm Smitt— I IU . | M
j (\ iln* In
) M r 1 n« fi
Apofect Remedy forConsSps- f1 V "V.U
tk>n, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea I lag
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- I Ip F M m |l n m
ness mid Loss OF SLEEP. I* y | UVui
Fee Simile si£.inlure or B
Thirty Years
pAOTfipiA
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. lIPVKV I lllllVV
* fni mn»n naww. an tom erw.
Let Libby
Serve Your Soup
Toi»a4o, Jolienn®, Consomme, Chicken, Malllffstswnpy. or Oxtail will plssse tha neat
faatldfeaa. They are quickly prepared—delicious to eal—always satisfactory.
Libby’s ‘rXET) 1 Food Products
Cornsd Bml Hash BonaleM Chicken Vienna Sa.usags
Ox TonduM Soupa Ham Loaf
Tour (froceri ha§ them
Libby. McNalll dt Libby. Chloatfa
The Beat Rocky
Mountain Scanty
Pullman Observation Can on Daj.l
If.light Trains.
Run Daily Between
DCNVtR ' BALT LAKE CITY, OGDEN
*Jf t Panoramic Views, Descriptive
Pamphlets, etc., sent free upon
application to
C. H. SPEERS. General Paee. Agent.
Denver, Colorado.

xml | txt