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By R. PEMBERTON SLADE Copyright, mo. br Am.rlcn Pr... Association. When 1 vu Burgeon on board the ▲lie mania. moving trip* between Bremen and Philadelphia, aa I was taking my constitutional one after noon on the upper deck a lady sitting in a steamer chair accosted me. . “I belters you are the ship's medical man,** she said. **l am," I responded, raising my cap. “If you will kindly sit by me I will tell you of an operation I am thinking of haring performed." I dropped In the racant chair be side her. and she began. "My eyes are a natural freak," she ■ Jaid. "You will perceive that my Tight eye is black and my left is steel dolor. I, being a woman, am very sen sitive to my personal appearance. Now. 1 wish to talk with you of the feasi bility of making my eyes the same color." "That is impossible." 1 said decid edly. “Whyr "Why—why, because It is Impos sible." "I hare thought much of the mat ter and hare concelred a # plan by which I think It can be done*." "You? Do you know anything about surgery of the eye?" "Not professionally." “Then why do you aspire to sug gest a process that an educated oc ulist would not even consider T . "Because I believe it is possible." Thinking the woman might be In sane, I looked her In both eyes—for the eye Is a telltale on insanity—but could see no indications as to what I suspected. “Very well,” I said. "What Is your process?" "I propose to tattoo my gray eye with India ink." I was at first disposed to smile at the Idea, but it soon occurred to me thnt If the India ink could be placed be neath the surface ol the cornea, as it may be tattooed under the skin— Nonsense! Does not the pupil contract and dilate? When much contracted it would leave a ring of the original col or. "My dear young lady," I said, "your scheme Is preposterous.” "Nevertheless I shall try it." "And lose your eye.” “That Is my only fear. But I have decided to take the risk.” Finding It Impossible to dissuade her or induce her even to wait till she reached port, where she coujd be knocked out of her craay idea by an oculist. In order to save her from the probable consequences of her experi ment I said: "The cornea of the eye Is not sensi tive. Indeed. It Is really a casing to the eye. something like an onion. Now. I would suggest since you will not listen to reason, that I tattoo some harmless fluid of the proper color on the eye as near as possible to the pu pil. True, it will soon be absorbed, but It will be a test to guide us as to whether it will be safe to repent the operation with a durable filling.” "How long will this experimental fluid remain 7* asked the lady. “Several days perhaps, possibly longer.” "The very thing! Will you perform the operation V "Not unless you refuse to promise that you will not do it yourself.” "I certainly shall do it myself unless you cofisent to do it for me." “Well, then, whenever you are ready come to my office.” The lady did not come to me till the day before we were due in port. It seemed absurd to attend to a matter about which there was not the slight est necessity for baste, and 1 made a strenuous attempt to persuade her to defer the operation till after she had landed. But she resolutely persisted in' her Intention to perform it herself before a glass if 1 declined, and. know ing that this, especially on a rolling ship, might result in the loss of the eye. I finally gave in. Taking a lot of needles, I tied them into a bundle, dipped them into a harmless vegetable preparation and tapped the eye with their points ever so lightly. This I kept up till the surface to be covered was so nearly of the hue of the other eye that the difference could not be easily detected. The next day when the lady went ashore she was profuse in her thanks and volunteered to advise me of the success of the experiment. I told her I should be interested to hear it. though, to tell the truth. I never ex pected to hear from her again, regard ing her one of those many cranks who appear to be perfectly sane, but in whose makeup some screw is loose. A couple of weeks later I received a letter, the handwriting of which was not familiar to me. Indeed. It bore evidence of having been disguised. It reed: jlf-pAr Doctor—l am happy to report you that tho experiment was admira bly successful. The tattoo lasted about ten days, which was all that was required The customs officers had a description of me. their attention havlns been especially directed to my one gray and one black •ye They were watchln* very carefully when I descended the gangplank and spotted me for everything except the eyes. Thanks to you I got 180,000 worth of dia monds through duty free. Your fee by express. The letter was unsigned. The next day I received a package containing a fine diamond, which I had mounted for a solitaire stud. Aftef that I refused any request of a passenger' unless I understood the reason for Us asking. THE ANCIENT MARINER. It wss a mournful man and lons - A tear stood In his eye— A-seated on a roadside stone As 1 was passing by. He grasped me by the dexter sleeve. I asked him, "Sir. why do you grieve?" "It was an-aviator, and That aviator I. Who thought that hla machine was grand." He sadly made reply. "1 fain would scale ethereal heights A-emulatlng of the Wrights. “I fain would skim tha realms of air In winged aeroplane. And, like a falcon, here and there Cavort 1 eke would fain. Now. fainlng something's very well. While doing It la terrible "I started up the engine. The • Propeller bussed around. The motor chug-chugged furiously And shook the very ground. Then drained 1 dreg deep sorrow's cup— The darned machlhe would not go upl "From one p. m. till half past four. With cheerful whir and clank. It went, and then there was no more Petroleum In the tank. With fervor then 1 loudly cussed. Expressing hopes that It would bust. "With rage 1 raved and ramped until My vocal cords 1 tore; But. though It caused me anger, still It did not snake me soar. The moral la' 1 — But ere he’d done Upon bis jaw I landed one. i'll put a moral In Its place— • Do not make puns and save your face. —N. Salsbury In Puck. Geographical Views. Western Editor (to returned native) —Whnt do the people down east think of Arizona uud New Mexico as states? Native (yawning) They talk os though they thought each state would send a pair of Indian snake dancers to the United States senate. Call Missed His Calling. Mhglstrate Joe Call believes in set tling trivial cases amicably, and a doz en rimes a day he is called upon to act as umpire, meditator or arbiter, as the case may be. As the sequel to a neighbors’ row recently an Irate woman proceeded to the magistrate’s office, demanding a warrant for the arrest of her next door neighbor and the bnsband. The pros ecutor. after paying the s2.fiO which a warrant coots, chuckled with satisfac tion as the constable went to arrest the pair designated aa defendants. When the bearing was held Magis trate Call tried bard to smooth things down: bat. In spite of bis friendly of fices. the two women glared at each other and punctuated every minute with some tart remark. In the course of events the magistrate sought to have the case settled amicably, bat ‘the woman prosecutor was Insistent that she get "satisfaction." Sufficient evidence was produced to sustain the allegation, and Magistrate Call held the pair in S3OO ball each to keep the peace. Inasmuch aa they were without friends who could give that security, be allowed them to sign their own bonds and depart In peace. Tbia provoked the woman pros ecutor. and after watching the depart ing neighbors go she turned to Magis trate Call and said: "And that’s what I get for my S2.SO? You’re not a magistrate. Yon ought to be a minister.”—Philadelphia Times. Injured Dignity. The two extra specialists had pound ed him and sounded him and felt hla pulse and tapped his frame till be could only He in a cold perspiration of fear. "Undoubtedly It’s a case of appendi citis." sald specialist No. 1 gravely. "Undoubtedly." assented specialist No. 2. "But would he be able to stand an operation?” pondered No. 1, "Ah. would he?" echoed No. 2. They dug him in the ribs again, and he squealed. “Ah." remarked No. 1, "I think we ought to let him get a bit atfonger be fore we cut Into him.” "Confound your palaver!” gasped the patient, starting up. “What do you take me for, a cheese?”—Answers. The Population of the World. Actors who playod with Booth and Barrett 11.45C.159 people who knew you when you were poor 78.546.187 □ldem Inhabitants 66.1W.346 Asaorted liars X 6.456.100 People w'lth a grievance 108.567.876 People who remember you when you were "ao tilsh" 76.346.667 “Old subscribers' 64.466.732 Damphools (all varieties) 763.463.667 Total 1.467.378.80 —Puck. Our Young Barbarians at Play. Father—What are you moping about the bouse Id this trying manner? Why don’t you go out and play with Harry Higgins? Bon—Beca use 1 played with Harry Higgins yesterday, and I don’t suppose he’s well enough yet.—Harper’s Week ly. A Pleasing Deduction. "She asked me to guess her age." "Did you get ll right?" "She said 1 did and seemed much pleased.” "How In the world did you do it?" "Why. you see 1 happened to know her real age.’’-C'leve!and Plain Dealer. MONTOOMBH Y LAND * CATTLB 00. Cattle bran- ed as per cut. Also own *“ i #7 Horse brand same as cut. W Range. Jose pblne basin and went road. 8 Montgomery. Mgr. ’ R O KUHBELL. Cattle branded earn* as out on left or right sides. Far marks—up- HIIB per hit both ears. Horse brand same as out. B||B( Range—Head of Mil ler creek and Llm» Klin Hill. L. B. WALBUIDGR. Cattle branded as oo cut on side. HSHf Range. Lime Klin Hill and Miller Creek. O Meeker R. HAItPKK. Cattle branded same a out. Horse brand sam> Far - mark, overslop* lHft e * r - Rang*, govern monl road and Joseph 888 lne basin. VO Meekei Also own stock trended L. P. CRAIG. Cattle branded term as cut on left side. Al- mi run brand* ■Uti on left side Range, Upper White. P O address, Meeker T H WARREN. - Cattle branded same as Horses same Range Miller creek »nd upper White river. I'oetoßloe address Meeker Colo. H.B. HARP. dßb Cattle and horses. own following brands: ~ Range, Nine Mile Hill Hfeßßi ■■■■■ and Coal Creek. PO Meeker. THE BAER BROS. LAND A CATTLE 00. Cattle branded on left side same as out Also own cattle K ' ° POL BB brande» QPBf same as cut. Range Rio Blanco county. P O »*• dress Moeker Colo. _ HUTU C. BARTLETT. fittß Cattle branded same a> out. Bar marks used: ’rop on right ear, under ■in|B slope on left; also unde ■Bflß hack on each car. Youn stock the latter. WT ” B Winter range, lower White river. Sum me range, lower White rivet andMarvine oreek. P O address Box M. Meeker. Colo. Bond The Herald east. A Fine Ranch at a Bargain The L. N. Boner ranch in Powell park, for sale at $35 per acre; 900 acres; all underwater and plenty of It; land all under cultivation. Poor health of owner necessitates sale. Inquire L. N. Boner, or at this office. m BAKING POWDER That Mskaalhe Baking Battar Pail ii r*>a are almost Impossl!/.:: with Calumet. We know that it will give you better rosulis. We know (hat the baking will be purer —more wholesome. We know that it will be more evenly raised. Ami we know that Calumet fs more economical, both in in u*e and cost. ■ We knew tli-se tilings because we M have put the quality Into It — we have m seen It tri J «>ut in every way. It is M used iiowin millions of homes and its M sales are growing daily. It ij the M modem baking powder. m Have you tried it? B Calumet is highest in quality— M mode, at j in price. M Received Highest Award — kW. World'. Pure Fowl FspeelH— ■ Jv I *. N °T made BY THE TtWfLi (AUIMEJ m Nodes to Non-Residents of Probate of Will. Hr ATS OrCoLOBADO, » Codxttor Rio Blanco (“"• In the County Court, In Probate. The people of the Htate of Colorado to the nephews and nieces of Andrew J. Younker, deceased, greeting: Whereas, It has been made to appear to the County Court of Kto Blanco County, In the State of Colorado, that you, the aald nephews and nieces, are among the legatees under tha last will and testament of the said Andrew J. Younker, ilecensed.and that "’ooimMto * rt> I>on * re »ldents of the state Now. therefore. In accordance with the provisions of the statute In such cases made and provided, and by order of Court duly mode and entered, you are hereby notified that an Instrument of writing purporting to be the last will and testament of the said Andrew J.Younker.deceased, was presented to the said court for probate on the »Kh day of March, A. J).. IVII, by H. A. Wlldhack, residing at Meeker, In the State of Colorado; that the said decedent, was at the time of his decease, a resident of Rio Blanco County. In the Htate of Colorado; that the said deced ent, according to the said alleged will de vised and Itequesthed bis property In the words and figures following, to-wtt: In the name of Cod. Amen: I, Andrew J. Younker. of Rio Blanco County,Colorado, of the age of <U years, l>eing of sound and disposing mind and memory, do hereby malte, ordain, publish and declare this to be my lost will and testament: That Is to "Versts—After all my Just debts are paid and discharged, I give, devise and bequeath to my sister, Mrs. L. H. Blooinlleld, five hun dred dollars ifSiEuioi. Second:—l give, devise and bequeath to niy nephew, Charley Bloomfield, five hun dred dollars iS-tmmui. Thlril:—l give, devise and bequeath to all my nephews and nieces now living (Includ ing the nephew mentioned In paragraph two above) all the rest and residue of my property, renl, personal and mixed, to be divided equally among them share and share alike. I hereby make, constitute and appoint my nephew, Charley Bloomfield, to be Executor of this my last will and testament, hereby revoking all formerund other wills by me made. In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this 18th day of March, In the year of our Lord. one thousand nine hundred and eleven (lull). . „ (Signed* A. J. YoitnKKß. You are hereby notified to be and appear before said Court at the County Court Room In the Court House In Meeker, In the County of Rio Blanco, In the State of Colo rado, on the Ist day of May, A. !»., IWII, then and there to attend the hearing on the pro bate of the sold alleged Inst will and testa ment of the said Andrew J. Younker, de ceased, and further to do and perform what shall then, l>v the said Court In* required In witness whereof. I have hereunto set my hand and affixed the seal of snld Court at my office In Meeker, in salil County, this ffith day of March, A. 1). lull. (SRAM A. L. MTKKIILKX, Clerk. a 1-0. Dr. R. C. MONTGOMERY, Physician and Surgeon. Office, Baer Block Call at Meeker Drug- Co MARTIN SLIFKA, Practical German SHOEMAKER All work guaranteed first-elans, and prices moat reasonable. NEW SHOES MADE TO OUOBK Shop, East Market Street F. N. JoHantgen Manu ufacturing & Blacksmith ♦ Company + Workers in Iron, Steel, Wood Horse Shoing is our Specialty P. O. Box 108, Phone, No. 2 Meeker, Colo. Established In 188 H “Promptness - and - Satisfaction’' L. E. CHAPIN, Practical Plumber aid Fitter All kinds of Piping, Sheet Iron, Tin and Metal work, etc. ALL WORK GUARANTEED. Jobbing Promptly Attended to Estimates given on all classes of work § Edison Pboioiraebs Gold Moulded Records and all phonograph supplies at catalog prices. D E SHANKLAND Agent for Rio Blanco Co Meeker, Colo. There Is one law that will never successfully be applied to a suffra gette convention. This is the gag law. Good Things to Eat During Dent the Ladies’ Guild of St Janie’s church will have on sale at Strehlke’s drug store cakes, brown bread, doughnuts, etc., every Satur day afternoon. CATTLE BOUGHT AND SOLD The Harp-Peterson Company will buy your herd or sell you a herd. Will contract to buy steers or stock cattle for customers. We know what is required for the White River val ley range and are prepared to meet all demands. Address The Hflrp-Peierson Co., Meeker, Colorado Europe is taking a decided stand against Mormonism. Some day Amer ica may also take an interest in the subject Notice to Travelers When you come to Rifle and want u good home-cooked meal stop next door to I. O. O. F. hall. Mrs. Blanche. Howey. Dr. Taylor, dentist, Meeker. Breed Only to the Blood That Has Produced the Best 808 LOOKHEART Thoroughbred Trotter 808 LOOKHEART, No. JWWP, dark l>ay borne, right band coronet and left hind paatern white; .lands 16* hands high and weighs ISOu pounds. Bred by H. H. Smith, I retun, lowa. Foaled April IV, line. Individually be Isa horse of grand finish and plenty of substance, with fine disposi tion, deep strong shoulders, stout back, very strong loins aua stifles,strong bone with the best of feet and legs. “ Like Besets Like” Hls blood lines are of the best as will be soon by his tabulated pedigree. Here you get the Wilks and Nutwood cross, with the thtrd und fourth dams Morgan. Bob Lockheart has won In the show ring, first at Plymouth county fair as a yearling; second at lowa state fair as a two year old; first at Rook Valley district fair as a two vesr-old stallion: sweepsteakesas a stallion of anv age or breed at Rock Valley district fair, ItiM. First ns a standard bred stallion and sweep stakes over all stallions any age or breed at Mloux county fair, IM)7. Will stand for season lull, at home ranch. Coal Creek. Terms made known upon application. O. H. LUNNEY, Owner. Advetised Mail Matter. The following described mail mat ter remains unclaimed in the poet office at Meeker, Colorado, the week ending April 2, 11)11, and if not called for within two weeks will be sent to the dead letter office: Belcher, JH Clark, J M (2) Cass, A L (2) Clark. Miss M Cox, C E Huckler, Edward (3) McKenna, l>r H Holuninlte, Mr Buford Miller, Miss Llxzlo Merrllllse, Miss Mary Warnack, J J Roberts. Mrs L. J (5) Wearns, Mrs J B Wlneford, Mrs. Viola Walsburg, Mr When calling for any of the above, please say “advertised” and give date of list. W. 8. Fihk, Postmaster. Constipation brings many ailments in its train and Is the primary cause of much sickness. Keep your bowels regular madam, and you will escape many of the ailments to which wom en are subject. Constipation is a very simple thing, but like many simple things, it may lead to serious conse quences. Nature often needs a little assistance and when Chamberlain’s Tablets are given at the first indica tion, much distress and suffering may be avoided. Sold by all dealers. For Sale or Trade my stock of undertaking goods, at a bargain. H. E. Holloway. Bee The Herald for your society engraving. The best this side of Chi cago. Galvanised chimneys, any size, made to order, by A. E. Lytle. WANTED:—By sober, steady, reli able man of 46 years of age, work on stock farm, or as teamster, or to run stationary engine. Address stating wages. E. J. Griffin, Gladstone, Minn. Never Out of Work. The busiest little things ever made are Dr. Kings New Life Pills. Every pill is a sugar-coated globlue of health, that changes weakness into strength, languor into energy, brain fag into mental power; curing con stipation, headache, chills, dyspepsia and malaria. Only 26c at all drug gists. BLACK DIAMOND COAL Always in chute at mine and at lum ber yard. Satisfaction guaranteed. Two ($2) dollars at mine; $3 de livered in town. Phone, Rio 8, or Arnold Bros., Bio 40. Mr. Fairbanks is now traveling in California, and the other day, when he reached sunny Pasadena, famed for its equAble climate and perennial roses, snow fell lor the first time In twenty years. Saved His Mother’s Life. “Four doctors had given me up,” writes Mrs. Laura Gaines, of Avoca, La., "and my children and all my friends were at times looking for me to die, when my son insisted that I use Electric Bitters. I did so, and they have done me a world of good. I will always praise them.” Electric Hitters is a priceless blessing to wom en troubled with fainting and dizzy spells, backache, headache, weak ness, debility, constipation or kidney disorders. Use them and gain new health, strength and vigor. They’re guaranteed to satisfy or money re funded. Only r»oc at all druggists. The story is ended; the curtain hae fallen on the last line in the railroad controversy. The roads, one and all, have decided to accept the decision of the interstate board, temporarily at least, and will give the shippers a chance. “Our baby cries for Chamberlain’s Cough Remedy,” writes Mrs T. B. Kendrick, Basaca, Ga. “Its the best cough remedy on the market for coughs, colds and croup.” For sale by all dealers. HORSES FOR SALE Mares and Geldings. Will sell on time, to those desiring time, with secured paper. (tf.) ' J. C. Gentry. A contemporary renews the old question as to. whether it is “that mo lasses” or “those molasses.” Neither one this weather. Judging from the roads, it’s a molasses. RANGELY NOTES. Will Colthmrp U a Rangely vUltor. Bee Rector ha. gone to Rifle on business. Horace Coltharp was in looking after ditch affairs. John Coltharp is siok with a severe attack of the la grippe. A new organ has been placed in the upper Rangely school house. Robert Goss and wife left the first of the week for Dragon, Utah. Ellis Bros, disposed of two car loads of wild horses recently to eastern horse buyers. Fred P. and Mrs. Hahn have ar rived from Kansas. They will make their home with Lou Hahn. The stork visited the home of Mr. and Mrs. R. A. Carroll on April 9d, leaving a fine eleven-pound boy. Claude Boyd has returned from Vernal, Utah, with a fine bunch of yearling steers. He intends ranging them on Douglas creek. T. J. Devine has given up position of landlord, and vacated the Mor gan boarding house and has moved ten miles down the river to the Fred Owens place. „ R. A. C. The Settler Loses s Friend An editorial In a late issue of the Rifle Telegram voices our sentiments as follows: “Richard A. Ballinger, secretary of the interior in President Taft’s cabi net—a man. in the opinion of a great army of people in the United States, believed to be the victim of a foul and vicious conspiracy; a man the most hated of any in public life to day, and yet one with the staunchest friends, has resigned and will at onoe retire to private life. The rulings of Secretary Ballinger for the guidance of land officials in dealing with the public land questions as related to the homeseeker have invariably been in favor of the latter, and the passing of Mr. Ballinger may witness many changes that will work to the disad vantage of settlers who have yet to secure their patents for government land. Certain it is that the Pinchot brand of officialdom has not made It easy for the settler, and with Mr. Bal linger retired it is not unlikely that additional hardships will be imposed. The new secretary is W. L. Fisher, of Chicago, a strong adherent of Pin chot, and is vice-president of the Na tional Conservation association, of which Pinchot is the president. The appointment by President Taft of Mr. Fisher must necessarily cause much comment, for the president had fired Mr. Pinchot from the Job of chief forester, and in accepting Bal linger’s resignation scored the latter’s detractor’s in no uncertain terms, yet he Immediately appoints a Pinchot man to All the vacancy. ’The saying that politics makes strange bedfellows was never better exemplified than in the present In stance.” _ Rangers Robinson and Duffy have just finished sowing several five-acre tracts to yellow pine seed on the Bat tlement reserve, says the Plateau Voice. These tracts we selected with regard to altitude, slope and soil con ditions, ranging from 8,000 to 0,600 feet in elevation. As there are only a few trees of the yellow pine species in Battlement forest these plantings will be cared for as experimental traett The last sowing was at the Big Creek ranger station, at an alti tude of 9.000 feet, and was sown from snowshoes on three feet of snow. In the spring, or after the snow disap pears, the areas thus planted will be sown with poisoned grain to kill off the chipmunks, mice and gophers, the most destructive animals to con tend with in the re-seeding of the forest. The seed used in this work was from the Black Hills national forest—Rifle Telegram. The reason many people never have coughs is because they have learned to use Lunga llue at the first system. Mr. Harriman left a daughter who is now raising sheep. This is a great improvement in the usual million aire’s offspring, who generally raises something else. The code commission of Nevada proposes to allow a condemned crim inal to choose his own means of ex ecution. Suppose he elects to drink himself to death? Engraved cards, invitations, etc. Our samples will help you decide. — The Herald. Texas rough riders will present the colonel with a flve-hundred-dollar saddle—and just when be has been unhorsed, too. Eggs are eleven cents a dozen on the farm in Kansas and twenty-five cents at the Kansas City stores. How thankful the farmer should be for the tariff that protects his hens from competition with the pauper hens of Europe! Senators Hale and Cummins are lecturing from the same platform. Aud yet some folks say that lnterna -1 tional peace is visionary.