The Holly chieftain., November 25, 1898, Image 2

About The Holly chieftain. (Holly, Colo.) 1897-1987

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HOLLY CHIEFTAIN.
CURRENT COMMENT.
A CRUSADE against American chew
ag gum has set in in London, the
English health authorities issuing
warning against its use
MRs Barprizetos Hoorn, wife of the
commander of the Voiunteersof Amer
ica. recently went to (hicago at the
olicitation of Gov. 1 ner and the
warden of the lllinois state prison to
start a home for discharped prisoners
n that eity.
N Anglican clergyvn of London
suy.rosts the formation of an order of
journalists with St Paul for its patron
saint. St Paul, he say vas ‘the best
reporter of the ent timwes,"” and
therefore, “'the be n itor for jour
oalists between Heaven und earth.”
Cor. F. €. AlNswont ief of the
record and pension ottice in the war
lepartment, in hisannuval report to the
:eretary of war, savs that 193,208
rases were received I disposed of
inring the past fiscal ear, a net in
creuse of 45,450 cases roceived and dis
rosed of.
A TRAIL publicatic in Chicago
savs that enough is own of the iron
nd steel trude for the vear 1508 to
tablish the fact it production
for the CAr W exceed anvthing in
history I'he demand from car works
s almost prodigious, carriers losing
trat mlargre Ve e ) 15¢ they
inot furs Lears
ACCORDING to a notable inventor,
who do 10t ¢ his name to be
made m t this time the !
Washington Post savs, there will be
tlying ma 5 ¢ at the Paris ex
position I'he ve mentioned in
ventor himself working on the con
tructic of a flving car whieh will be
en hovering over Paris during the
vxposition
ONE of the unique features of the
ste campaign in Pennsylvania was the
Ise of the phonograph in the judicial
fight in Allegheny county John S
Robb, the indepeondent republican cao
lidate, delivered addresses one night
it Mount Washington and Millvale, |
and while he was speaking at these |
places u phonograj was reeling off
lis address to a large audience at
Bridgeville |
Cor. . A, Sy, United States m)v»’
srnment enginee vho recently in- |
spected the Atlantie coast defenses, |
and especially the harbor defenses at |
New York, Boston and Portland, Me., |
speaks in terms of high praise of them |
and savs they are as good as any in the |
world for their purpose,.that it woeuld |
be suicidal for a foreiga warship to |
enter those harborsif we objected, and [
that when the work on our coast is |
rompleted it will be well-nigh impreg: |
nable. '
Tue grand lodee of masons of Vir
zinia has determined to mark the cen- l
tennial of the death of George Wash- |
ington by suitable Masonic ceremonies
it Mount Vernon on December 18,
1800, In these services and ceremonies
the grand lodge of Virginia will have
the co-operation probably of all the
zrand lodges in the United States and
nany of those in foreign lands. Masons
from all parts of the world are ex
pected to be present. The lodges of
New Zealand have already indicated a
purpose to send delegations.
A coNproetor on the Texas Pacifie
railroad has invented a device for an
aouncing to passengers on trains the
aame of the stationat which the “‘next
stop” will be made. The deviee con
sists of a cylinder, upon which are |
painted the names of all stations uimn!l
the line over which the train runs. By
means of alever the tralnmen can turn
thiseylinderuntil itindicates the town
at which the next stop will be made.
At the same time tha' the eylinder
turns a gong is sounded, which attracts
the attention of the passenger to the
announcement made on the eylinder.
A NEW design for the one-dollar sil
ver certificates has been completed
at the bureau of engraving and print.
ing, and the notes bearing it will
*be issued soon. The new design is ‘
somewhat less artistic than some of
the present silver certificates, but
probably will be wore popular among
chose who hanidle money. The object
of the clear display of white paper on
both sides of the note is to afford a
safeguard against counterfeiting, The
device for the silver certificates is
substantially the same as that which
will be used for other forms of paper
money. ra
Tue Osage Indians are probably the
wealthiest people per eapita on earth,
are aristocrats and scorn manual labor,
according to Gen. Pollock’s annual re
port to the interior department. They
own over 8.0 acres of land for each
man, woman and child, each receiving
an annuity of over S2OO in cash. Ifan
Indian and his wife have eight chil
dren the annual cash increase of the
family is over $2,000. An Osage pre
fers the conveniences and dissipations
of villflge life to agricultural avoca
tions; he loves to sing and dance and
has money to support his family in
idleness. P -
Tur grand total of appropriations
made by this congress at the regular
session and the extra war session last
spring aggregates 38303, 231,615, Of this
amount $36!,850,727.20 is to meet ex
penses incurred on account of the war
with Spain. = At the session commenc
ing in December there will be regular
appropriation measures, to pass, in ad
dition to the new bills, which will un
doubtedly swell the total appropria
tions by the Fifty-fifth congress to
$1,500,000,000. This will be the great.
est sum ever expended or appropriated
by any one congress during its life of
two years. AP
Tue amendments which will be made
to the war tax bill next winter will
* not materially cut down the sum total
of receipts from that source. Inequal
ities will be leveled, a few features
which are annoying to the masses and
which embarrass business may be
stricken out, obscure points may be
cleared up, but the law as a whole will
not be changed. The principal reason
for this non-action will be that the
government will need the revenue.
. “The war tax produces aboutslo,ooo,ooo,
aud that amount will be mfi:gnd i
addition to the revenue from laws pre:
wiously enacted. ) i
NEWS OF THE WEEK.
| 3leaned By Telegraph and Mail
| PERSONAL AND POLITICAL. ‘
I Tug bill providing for a treatv com
nission was lost in the Cherckee sen
ite by a tie vote, a Tuhlequah, (1. T.)
[ lispatch said. The Cherokees will
low be governed by the Curtis bill.
By the terms of the bill the tribes were |
ziven their choice of treating with the |
Dawes commission or accepting the
provisions of the Curtis bill
ASSISTANT SECHETARY VANDERLIP
eft Washington on the ilsth for Porw
Rico to familiarize himself with the |
tinancial conditions of the island, its
possibilities of revenue and its require
ments of expenditu One of the
most difficult problems which presents
tself for solution in connection with
hange in sovere gnty is that of
the currency
INst NlB in some of the Philip
ine islar were reported on the 15th
being very active by Admiral
dewey It caused considerable con
cern to the authoriti-s at Washington,
i~ the United States forces, Ly the
f war, were unable to move
fr their positions
Jonx W, KEELEY, the inventor of the |
Keelev motor, died at Philadelphia on
sth from pneumonia, aged 61
cars
SURGEON GENERAL STERNBERG made
his report to the secretary of war. It
relates mainly to the work of the med
corps during the war,
GeN. Doy Canpros Brern, one of the
most conspicuous tigures in the federal
army early in the civil war, died at his
ountry place, Paradise, in Muhlenbury
county, Ky., on the 19th, aged 8! yvears.
Joux W. Pansons, of New York, was
lected general master workman of
the Knights of Labor at the meeting
at Chicago on the 19th. J. iv Schon-
Cfaber, of Baltimore, Md., was selected
to succeed llenry lostock on the ex
cutive board All the other genera
iticers were re-elected. |
Tue report sent out from Paris on
the 21st to the effect that on presenta
tion of the United- States ultimatum
lemanding absolute cession of the |
Philippine islands the president of the
Spanish commission broke off peace
negotiations was a fake.
Sranisi dispatehes giving the inside |
history of the Santiago campaign were
published by the New York Journa |
on the 21st. |
‘ MISCELLANEOUS. 3
A BrizzAnrD prevailed in Kansas City
Mo., and surrounding countrv on the
st Reports from Kansas, Missouri, |
\ Oklahoma, Texas, Nebraska and other 1‘
' places stated thatthere was a big drop |
in the temperature and that severe
snow and windstorms generally pre
vailed. w’
- Gorp was discovered at Stenbenville,
0., while digging pole holes. |
| GEN. Jasmes LoNGstreer, the com: |
missioner of railroads, in his annpual |
' report. made public on the 2ist, calls |
| attention to the general prosperity of |
| ratlroads and recommends the govern- |
!xm'nl construction and operation of a I
lfir‘slw'lll\\ double track railway from |
Kansas City, Mo.. to San Diego, Cal.,
"-_\‘ air line route. This would open
| the shortest line, measured by the
| ap. from Boston, New York and
Philadelphia to the Pacitic coast and
make the most direct line from our
great commercial centers to the Sand
wich islands and the Philipoines. ‘
Two freight trains collided on t)n-:
Kansas City, Pittsburg & Gulf railroad
one mile north of Junsen, Ark. An!
engine and several cars were totally |
{wrecked. Three trainmen were in
jured. .
’ Two Chinese highbinders were pre
vented by the approach of a person
from murdering another Chinaman at
San Francisco. As it was their vietim
had his skull fractured and will prob
ably die.
Tur grand jury at Philadelphia pre-
Isented true bills of indictment against
| United States Senator Quav, his son
Richard S Quay and ex-State Treas
urer Benjamin J. Haywood, charged
with conspiracy tounlawfally use pub
lic monevs deposited in the People's
national bank of Philadelphia
Crrizens of Omaha, Neb., decided to
hold another exposition next vea-,
Jases N, Sovtnavnk, chief clerk in
the office of the engineer department
of the army at St Paul, Minn., was
convicted of swindling by means of
bogus time checks. His swindling was
suid to aggregate nearly £700,000,
Dax Grovsnps, who drew the pension
money of Norris B. English for several
vears, was convicted of violating the
pension law at Texarkana, Ark., and
sentenced to ten vears' imprisonment
at Fort Leavenworth,
Tue forthcoming annual report of
the attorney general embraces a re
view of the operations of the national
bankruptey law of July i, 1508 Al
though the act has been in force only
a little over three months over 1,700
petitions of voluntary bankruptey
| have been filed. Of this number Kan
sas furnished 65 and Missouri 64.
ApouT 200 lepers escaped from con
finement at Manila through the neg
lect of Spanish officers unbeknown to
the American ofticials. Orders have
been issued to the effect thatall lepers
will be arrested and sent to one of the
uninhabited islands in the Philippine
groups and fed and cared for at the ex
pense of the government.
A DESPERATE attempt was made by
two conviets to escape from the peni
tentiary at Columbus, 0., on the 18th,
In the battle which ensued one guard
was killed and the two convicts re
ceived injuries of a serious nature.
A 816 fire occurred at the Merrill
Chemical company® building at Louis.
l ville, Ky., on the 18th. *
Tne national quarantine convention
assembled at Memphis, Tenn., on the
17th, A majority of the delegates
were from the southern states, more
affected by the visitation of yellow
fever, as they were asked to send a
larger representation than the othe:
sections. The subject with which the
convention was to deal with was how
to provide an eflicient quarantine tc
protect the states from invasions of
infectious and contagious diseases.
ADVICES by steamship Empress o:
China tell of a terrible disaster in the
China sea on October 25, when the
steamer Kinshui Maru came into col
lision with the steamer Magaws Marrt
off Takami, sinking the latter in threc
minutes. It is reported that 170 per
sons were saved and that 70 werc
drowned.
J. B. GRONNINGER, 8 wealthy ranch
man of Terry, Mont.,, was found deac
on the Big Four tracks at Delaware
O. There seemed strong evidence
that he was murdered. He hadashort
time before received a large sum o)
money for a big lot of cattie, ngne o
which was found. R
THE REUNION.
oy HEREare fortyof us
), Robinsons, all
A F g thriving, hale and
A9 DA souna,
i X - And we always ge:
e = together when
)7 Thanksgivicg
~r%r comes around.
It takes a week for some of us to make the
journey here;
But we wouldn't miss Thanksgiving If we
traveled all the year!
We fill the dear old homestead to the attic
rafters quite,
And the bees could scarce hive closer than
de we, Thanksgiving night.
We bring a host of children, but there’s no
distinction found;
We're all a puck of children when Thanks
giving comes around.
You ought to see us playing tag behind the
oid red barn, 5
All running, twisting, tangled, like a llving
skeln of yarn.
And (?rn we aull go coasting on the slope
of Mutton hill,
And, like as not, get “slewing” round and
take a jolly splll
Ob, what an appetite we have when mother
blows the horn!
How good the crisp, brown turkeys smell,
all fattencd up with corn!
The puddings and the pumpkin ples, the
jellies white and red—
Ah! mother's cooking is a boast from Maine
to Marblehead!
When dinners over, all round the wide old
hearth we sit, .
And live our youthful pleasures o'er, and
crack our nuts and wit,
O happiest day of all the time that through
the hour-glass runs,
Thanksgivinginthe old-time was at Grand
pa Robinson's!
—Paul Pastnor, in N. Y. Independent.
"NOAH"
g bt
AF I BEGAN with the
. hen. She was toc
small. Never hen
spread herself as
| gid this one, but it was of no use; she
| wasn't equal to it.
| “Melvira,” remarked Mr. Dassy to
| Lis wife, as he looked into the coop,
"‘.\L Ivira, if I dido't know different, 1
| thould say you was a natural-born
| fool.”
| “Willinm Henry,” snapped Mrs.
| Dassy, 1 am a uaturai-born fool, or
| I'd never married you."”
“Mebby you're right, Melvira,” he
taid, uneasily. “But I wish you'd ex
plain why you didn’t pick cut a bigger
hen.”
“That hen was the biggest one on
the place that wanted to.set,” returned
Mrs. Dassy. “l suppose you'd have set
those egge under a hen that didn't
want to set, woulan't you?"”
“Well, not exactly that, Melvira, A
hen that hasn’t fully and thoroughly
made up her mind to set isn't a very
stationary critter. But why didn't
you keep the eggs till a more sizable
hen got the setting notion into her
head?”
“Would you have kept those eggs on
ice, or would you have boiled them,
Williwm Henry?" inquired Mrs. Dassy.
with vigor.
“Well, I dunno what I'd have done,”
sighed Mr. Dassy, “but I'd have done
something ‘fore I'd set nine turkey
eggs under a little speckled hen like
that. You'd better sew a fringe on that
hen g 0 she can cover the outside egys.
Though what do we want a lot of tur
keys gawking round for anyhow?"
“Well, you'll sece what we want of
them about next Thanksgiving., Wil
litm Henry, if youdon't eat your share
of those turkeys, then ! lose my guess.”
“All right, Melvira, all right," as
sented Mr. Dassy, cheerfully, as he
went back to the pump. “Onky |
don't like the gobble of the pesky
things. Makes me want to choke
them."
The Dassys lived on the northern
cdge of Nebraska. Their farm lay on
the opeun prairie, but right at the head
of Lone Tree canyon, an abrupt crack
on the ground which ran down to the
Niobrara river. The lone tree which
gave the name to the canyon was a
high and spectral pine standing a
dozen yards from their barn,
Never was tree so deserted Ly its
kind before. There was not another
in sight anywhere, although there
were others down the canyon and
along the river; but as you stood or
the prairie you looked over them, anc
over the river and canyon as well, so
that in whatever way you turned your
eyes from the Dassy ranch you saw
notking but treeless prairie; though
of an evening the wind sighed through
the top of the lone tree quite industri
ously, and did whut it could to suggest
a forest. The Dussy boys. Thomas
Jefferson, Andrew Jackson and George
Washington, often talked about
climbing the lone tree, but they never
did so.
Ouve day a mouth later Mrs, Dassy
came out of the coop and said: “Well,
she didn’t do so bad, I think.”
“How many?" inquired Mr. Dassy.
“Seven.”
“No, that isn't bad, considering. Are
they likely-looking critters?”’
“Well, they don't bandsome much
now, of course. Young turkeys never
do. But I'm reckoning that next
Thanksgiving the biggest one of 'em,
baked to a turn, ou the blue platter,
with his legs sticking up in the air,
will be just about as pretty a sight
as you'll see, William Henry!"
Her husband smiled and rubbed his
hands. “Oh, I'm not saying a word
against juicy young turkeys on plat
ters 'bout Thanksgiving time. What
I object to is their gobbling and strut
ting around and feeling so big.”
“Don’t say anything, Willlam
Henry,” replied his wife; “I've known
you to gobble and strut around and |
feel big.”
| Tt was still early in the spring, and
the weather was cold. Perhaps it was
| from this cause that the next day one
| of the young turkeys died. But the.
careful uursfug of ‘Mrs. Dassy, ta
gether with the good care of their
foster mother, the little speckled hen,
brought the other six thrcugh to
warm weather. By this time they were
able to make excursions about the
near-by prairie.
But their troubles were not over
At the first rain the whoele flock crowd
ed under a haystack, and they pressed
forward so hard that one of them
was smothered to death. A fortnight
later a clickep-hawk swooped down
and carried off another, although
the little hen fought desperately and
lost balf her feathers in the struggle.
There were but four left now.
But the wors! was yet to come. A
week later there wus a great rain
storm. Shortly before its coming Mrs.
Dassy had seen the turkeys under the
barn, so she supposed them safe; bu?,
in point of fact, when it began they
were twenty rods outon the prairie. At
the first drops ‘he hen began to flut
ter and cluck wildly in an attempt to
lead them back. but they refused to
budge. There on the open prairie they
weathered it cut, and when the rain
ceased and Mrs Dassy discovered them
and spattered out through the puddles
she found three of them drowned.
“There the fco!s were,” she cried.
coming back, carrying the only living
one left,“all drovwned standing up, with
their mouths en Bo's to get the
most of it There never was such fools
as young turkeys!"
“1 always su'd it, Melvira,” replied
Mr. Dassy, gloomily. “They're the big
gest fools in !l creation. That ends
our plans for Thanksgiving.”
“No, it don't, William Henry,” re
turned his w{/ vigorously. “Thisone's
alive. and he's going to stay alive!”
And she rollcd him in a flarnel cloth
and put him in the oven to dry. Mr.
Dassy shook ! s head.
“No hope, Mclvira, no hope,” he an
swered. “He’) turn up his toes inside
of a week. I¢'s bound to come! I've
felt it in my bones all along. Why, if
that turkey cin't d'e any other way,
he'll up and zo off and commit sui
cide!”
“Stop your croaking, William
Henry,” said \rs. Dassy, sharply. “This
turkey is going¢ to live till Thanksgiv
ing, and then le'll die a natural death
-—for turkey< "
“Oh, well, | hope so, of course. e
did pull throuch the flood first-rate,
there's no d-nying that. Almost as
well as Noush did through his flood.
That's what we'll call him, Melvira—
Noah."”
“All right, William Henry; his name
is Noah.”
Mrs, Dassy was right about Noah's
chances for living; a half-hour in the
oven made Lim as sprightly as ever.
In fact, he wriggled out of the oven
himself and went plaintively peeping
away out of the open door to the
speckled hen, who was delirious with
joy at the sight of him.
~ The storn seemed to mark a turn
‘ing-point in Noal's life. There was
“NOW YOU PUT THAT GUN RIGHT BACK."
no more trouble, The rains either
ceased or he defied them. The chick
en-hawks never made any more at
tacks. Indeed they would shortly have
had trouble in carrying him off, since
be zrew with the most astonishing
rapidity. The speckled hen was soon
the smaller of the two, and found her
self following behind as he wandered
here and there. Then he began to
ignore her entirely, and at night took
to roosting on the ridge-pole of the
barn.
This was too much for the hen; she
gave him up, and he went his own way
in the worid. The grasshopper sea
son came on,and he developed wonder
ful skill in catching these insects, to
the great delight of Mr. Dassy.
“I tell you whut, Melvira,” he one
day remarked, “there isn’t another
turk in Nebraska that can gather in
a hopper like that Noah of ours!
You ought to wateh him. Jje sees a
hopper sitting on a blade of grass and
not thinking about anything, and he
just up and points him like a pointer
dog, and creeps closer and closer,
steady, never sayiog a word, his head
getting a little lower all the time, till
he's just right; then he makes one
shoot and puts up his head sort of
like this, and swallows the hopper,”
and Mr. Dassy twisted his neck about
in a ludicrous attempt to look like
Noah, .
“Well, T 've got something else to do
besides watch a. turkey catch hop
pers!” answered Mrs. Dassy. “Though
1 hope he'll get a right emart lot of
them, because we don't need the hop
pers, and they do say there's nothing
like a hopper-fattened turkey for ten
der eating and flavor.”
“That's so, Melvira. But you ought
to watch him spatech them. I've lived
in five states and two territories, and
I've never reen anything like it! Never
knowed him to miss. I calculate he
gobbles 400 of them every day.”
The hot, dry Nebraska summer wore
away, and Noah continued to thrive.
The grasshopper erop was good—bet
ter than any other crop—and Noah
never failed to get his daily share of
it. Each week Mr. Dassy grew more
enthusiastic in his praises of Noah. He
fipally came to bolgn that Noah was
the finest turkey ln& he United Etates,
if not in the whole world, and that
he habitually caught and ate 1.000
grasshoppers each day. Dassy, withou
intended it, exaggerated; but Noah
certainly was a fine bird.
It was one evening early in Septem
ber, just after sundown, while Mrs,
Duassy was fioisking getting supper
and her Lusband and two of the boys
were in their places at the table wait
ing expectantly. that a wild shout was
heard from George Washington out
side.
“He's done it, pop, he's done it!
Noah's done it! Come and see!” cried
the boy, in huge excitement. They
all rushed out.
“There he is—see him!"” went on
George Washington, leaping around
like a kitten. “Look at him! 1 saw
bhim do it!”
The others looked up in the direc
tion the boy pointed.’ Far out on a
long and scraggy limb of the pine tree,
a dark biot against the red of the
western sky,sat Noah,craning hisneck
this way and that as he gazed at the
world below.
“Good gracious alive, Melvira,” cried
Mr. Dassy, when he fully took in the
situation, “he has done ({it, sure's
you're born! Nouh's flown intc the
lone tree to roost! Who'd have
thought he could have done it!™
“It was a big fly, and that’s a fact,”
assented Mrs. Dassy.
“Big fly!” roared Mr. Dassy, “I should
say it was a big fly! It's the biggest
fly any turkey in America ever made.
That Noah is the most—""
Just then the turkey stretched out
Lis neck and gave a loud gobble, the
first he bad ever been heard to utter.
Mr. Dassy stopped short, struck one
fist against the other, and went on:
“There, it's begun! I knew that
pesky gobbling would have to come.
Nothing else but gobble, gobble, gob
ble, now!”
“Well, come in before supper all gets
cold. Let him gobble if he wants 1o
You'd gobbie, too, if you'd just town
up into the lone tree.”
They went in,and Mr. Dassey seemed
to forget, or at least to forgive, the
gobble, and said: “No, sir, Melvira;
there isn't another turkey like that
there Noah in America. I wouldn't
take a quarter section of the best land
in Keyapaha county for him.”
“You'll get so took up with him,” an
swered his wife, “that you pan't kill
bim when Thanksgiving comes."”
“Oh, pshaw,” retorted her husband.
“I'll show you. Think I'm a woman,
hey? What are we raising Noah for?
I like him, of course, and I've got re
spect for him, but we raised him for
Thanksgiving—that's what he's for—
and when the time comes, whack! off
goes his bead.”
Mr, Dassy paused and seemed ‘st in
thought; then he continued: “of
course, to kill Noah—just to kill him
plain, you know, in cold blood, as they
say—might be a little hard, but I'll
just wait till he's gobbled at e, sassy
like, once or twice, and then you'll see
—slap!—head’s off and we've got him
on the blue platter!®™
From this time on Noah roosted each
night in the lone tree. The flight
seemed in no way to disagree with
him, for he waxed bigger und bigger
and fatter and fatter. He gobbled oc
casionally, but no more than was nec
essary to keep him in good voice.
Through the fall he continued to
range the prairie and gather belated
grasshoppers. Nothing ever rutfled
his dignity, and only once did he be
come excited, and that was whea Mr.
Dassy and his sons one afiernoon
burned a circular firebreak a quar
ter of a mile out around the buildings.
When Noah saw the flames and heard
the crackling of the dry grass, he ut
tered au alarmed gobble and flew into
the pine, where he gobbled some more
and stayed till the next morning.
The sason advanced and the weather
became wintry, but all efforts to in
duce him to enter the coop with the
other fowls were useless. Even the
cold winds of November did not seem
to disturb him. To be sure there was
no snow, or only a few flakes, even up
to Thanksgiving week, but the winds
blew chill, and tossed the top of the
pine about and threatened sometimes
to sweep him off; but he clung to his
perch.
It was late Tuesday afternoon be
fore Thanksgiving. Mrs. Dassy had
been bustling about with the work
since dinner time, but her husband had
sat by the fire and scarcely spoken.
She knew that he was thinking of
Noah, but she sald nothing. She had
her own private feelings about Noah,
but she knew that he had got to die.
After some time she said: “Well,
William Henry, I'm waiting for that
turkey now."
“You are, are you?” snapped the
man, impatiently. *“Well, why didn't
you say s 0? What am I here for?
What have I been setting around all
the afternoon for? Andrew Jackson,
you and George Washington go out and
catch the critter.”
The boys started out, and Mr. Dassy
went on: “Melvira, when you want a
turkey killed you want to speak about
it, not go aroucd, thinking 1 can read
‘your pesky thoughts. I'm ready to
kill that turkey any time you want it
killed.”
He turned to the other boy and said:
“Thomas Jeflerson, you go out and
chop his head off when you get bim.
You'll find the ax by the grindstone.
It's time you boys learned to do such
things.”
Thomas Jefferson disappeared, and
Mr. Dassy peeped cautiously out of the
window. Mrs. Dassy said pot a word.
' Andrew Jackson and George Washing
ton were having a good deal of difti
culty in capturing the turkey. They
had at first tried to approach him and
pick him up as they had often done,
‘but something unusual in their man
ner alarmed him and he walked ofl.
After several attempts they gave up
1 and Andrew Javk=on said: *“We've got
to run bhim down, George,” and they
‘hoth started after him. They were
good runners; but Noah was also a
good tunner, q
‘ Around and around the barn they
went twenty times, the boys two steps
‘behind the turkey, who had his head
lowered, his wings tight folded, and
was taking steps quite as long as they
were. At last, however, the boys
gained a little upon him.
“Fall on him, fall on him!” shouted
Thomas Jefferson, from the grind
stone. Andrew Jackson fell forward
on his face, with George Washington
an top of him.
But they counted without their host
—Noah was pot there; with a fierce
beat of his wings he shot out.and then
sailed away to the top of the lone tree.
There he stood up and uttered a de
fiant gobble.
“Hear that!™ cried Mr. Dassy, in a
rage. “I'll fix him now!"” and he
snatched down his rifle from the wall.
“Now you put that gun right back.,”
said bis wife, firmly. “You know per
fectly well if you shoot at him so far
off that you are liable to wound him,
and I won’t have him suffering. Wait
till morning, when you can get
up close to him and shoot him right
and so he'll never know what hits
him.”
Mr. Dassy snorted once or twice and
put up the rifle.
It was just before the first sign of
dawn next morning. The house was
dark. and the only sound to be heard
was the sharp rush of the wind
through the pine.
Suddenly there came in the morning
stillness the jangling gobble of Noah.
No one heard it. Then it came again,
louder,
Mr. Dassy half awoke and said:
“Consairn that turkey!" and turned
over. There was another gobble; Mr.
Dassy half opened his eyes and saw a
strange light playing on the ceiling,
and then one of the boys began pound
ing furiously an the stovepipe, and
shouied excitedly from above:
“Fire! fire! There's a prairie fire
comng! It's right on us; it's got in
‘side the firebreak!”
In two minutes the entire Dassy
family were out fighting the approach
ing fire. Tt was a long hour's work.
But the grass bad been grazed on and
trampled down, and at last with much
beatirg of brooms, shovels, pieces of
boarc¢s and old blankets they subdued
the flames and saved their stacks and
buildings. Then, tired but happy, they
returned 'to the house.
It was then too late to return to bed
and Mrs. Dassy got brenkfast. After
they had eaten they sat around the
stove for an hour. The sun was well
up. Noah was walking about cautious
ly outside, carrying his bead high and
still scomewhat alarmed. After awhile
he gobbled. Mr. Dassy arose and took
down his rifle.
“Wiiliam Henry,” said bhis wife
sharply, “what are you going to do?”
- “What am I going to do? Well. I
‘reckoned I'd fake a turn along the
‘edg~ of the canyon and see if I couldn't
knork over a jack-rabbit. To-mor
‘row's Thanksgiving. Do you think we
can have a Thanksgiving without any
fresh meat?”
Then he went out.
It was the next day and they were
all gathered round the table. Mrs.
Dassy’s brother from Sand Lake was
with them. He looked at the blue plat
ter and said: *’'Pears to me, William
Henry, that’s a powerful queer-look
‘ing Thanksgiving turkey you've got.
I'll bet a dollar there ain’t any wish
bone in it.”
“You've hit it right, Hiram,” re
turned Mr. Dassy. *“Our Thanksgiving
turkey ain't much to brag of, but
weve got a right smart beap of
Thanksgivicg. Hear that rascal Noah
gobbling out there! I tell you he's
got the clearest and the musicalest
gobble of any turkey in the whole
pesky world!"”—Hayden Carruth, in
Youtlk's Companion.
THAT TERRIBLE KID.
Mrs. Smith—Did you give your moth
er the invitation to take Thanksgiving
dinner at our house? <
Tommy Jores—Yes, ma'am.
“And what did she say?"
“Said she supposed we'd have to go,
but she'd rather stay at bome and get
a square meal.”—N. Y. Journal.
A Heavenly Foretaste.
If there is one week in the year more
than anotber, when our burdens and
cares, and vexations, and complaints
ought to be forgotten, and our
mercies counted, and talked, and
sung. and prayed over, it is this
Tharksgiving week. In Heaven every
day will be Thanksgiving day; but
there ought to be for us, at this sea
‘son of the year, at least, a foretaste of
‘the Heavenly joy. = United Presby
terfau. g
Extent of a Single Tree.
A'single’banyan tree has been knowa
to shelter 7,000 men at one time.
o the head, with its ringiug noises in the
sars, buzzing, snapping sounds, severe head
aches and disagreeuble discharges, is per
manently cured by Hood’s Sarsaparilla. Do
got dally with local applications. Take
Hood's Sarsaparilla and make a thorough
ind complete cure by eradicating from the
nlood all scrofulous taints and giving health f
and vigor to the whole system. . 4
’ . ]
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
(s America's Greatest Medicine. $1; six for ik
Hood's Pille cure all Liver Ills. |35 denta. fi
BEST TIME TO KICK A MAN.
First Save His Life and Thea You
May Apply Your Boet
with Impunity. A
Perk and Qui?{ were walking along the
erowded street, feeling w.-r{l kindly toward
themselves and the rest of humanity. Just
as they reached the middle of a crossing
one of those aggravating individuals who
walk one way and look another stepped dj
rectly in front of a cable car which was
rounding she corner. Of course the ear had
no fender on it. Nearly everybody in the
vicinity yelled, and naturally the bewil
dered man looked in the wronfl direction.
Quirk didn’t yell, though. He jemped to
the side of the track and grabbed the man
by the collar and yanked him clear of the
tracks and almost out of his shoes, Then
he gave him another ferocious jerk to get
him out of the way of an L-xpres“w.m
and, getting him at proper rangeat thé
lime.ghe gave the poor man a kick tht:z-,
have dr.ven his spine up into his hat. And
with the kick Quirk roared:
“Confound you, keep yvour eyes open when
you are on the street!”
Quirk looked unutterably savage, but Perk
tottered to the curb, sat down and langhed
until the tears came. Then he said:
“You are the only big enm:?h idiot on
ecarth to save a man’s life and then kick
him for it.”—Chicago Times-Herald. [
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Some Short Sentences Tointaiming
Truths Which We All
Recognize. s
Cupid has a snap when he encounters an
idle grain. b
Bucket-shopping is about the only kind
men indulge in. »
Some wives prepare for war by rifling
their husband’s pockets.
Any man who will enlist to get away from
his wife’s mother is a coward.
Marriages may be made in Heaven, but
there will always be a few doubters.*
Political econmu{ is the art of getting the
most votes for the least money.
Lots of friends are retained by not say
ing the smart things we mi%ht have said.
{ltlumtinn benefits a man but little if he is
unable to recognize an opportunity when he
meets it.
The possibilities of a penitentiary sentence
are about the onl[\' thing that can add to
the dangers of football. !
It's sometimes difficult for a girl to find
her ideal man, but she’s nearly always will
ing to accept a substitute.
A man may be the moneyed factor during
the engafi:emeul. but after marriage the
woman always anmtn herself em:n.—-
Chicago Evening News.
Not Legal Tender.
“I must request the congregation to con
tribute generously this mominq." said Rev,
Mr. Slimpay, sadly. ‘“My salary is eight
months in arrears, and m{ creditors are
pressing. I of course work largely for love,
and love equally of course is tender, but
it isn’t legal tender.””—Harper’s Bazar.
A ll Arranged.
Mr. Wiglby—-;See here, 'mylove, there is
some mistake. The baggage delivery man
has left seven trunks on our front porch.
Mrs. Wigsby (who has just returned from
the mountains)—lmbecile! Don’t you un
derstand? He's coming back after r!nk for
the extra five.—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hot or cold, Neuralgia will come. Use St.
Jacobe Oil; it will go. 3
Less than one-balf the things one hears
are true.—Washington (la.) Democrat.
Winter set in with Rheumatism. Set out
with St. Jacobs Oil and cure.
“Don’t say you work like a slave;”
vou “work like a fool.”—Atchison Glo‘n.-y
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