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The Best He Could Do.
A<*r.m wan blunting the woman. “There were no lualetactors of great wraith." he explained. Considering hi* dlMUiivuntagea. all •greed he hud met the responsibility mm gracefully a* |Ki**lble. —New York •on. Lost. "Well. Seppt-rl. what about the gooite your father wan going to aend **l>unno, teacher, but It’* getting well ngalu."—Transatlantic Tales. Breaking the News With an Ax. Captain Pritchard of the Mauretania was talking übout sailor*. "We un- a bluff lot,” he said. "Did you ever hear about the uullor and the parrot? "Well, once upon a time an old lady was rvturning from saiond with a |u»r rot. of which she wax very fond. She Inf rum id the bird, with many admon ition*- to n bailor for the vojage. "SeaHicktie.sh. or something, killed t|p parrot the third day out. The sail or. knowing how upset the old lady would be. could not bring himself to toll her the sad tidings, hut asked a companion, famous for hi* skill In oUrb mat tern, to break the bad news to hgr very, very gently. The man as •ODted. "And approaching the obi lady with 4 tragical face, the famous news brvuker touched hi* cap and said: " T'm afraid that *ere bird o' yourn ain't golu' to live long, mu'am.' p'Oh. dear" exclaimed the old lady |g alarm. 'Why?* " • ‘Cause he’s dead.’ was the reply.** .Recent excavations on thu site of Jericho have luid bare the historic Oily wall of burned lime brick on a •Into foundation, while whole rows of bouse* have been uncovered. The Social Sense. An enthusiastic teacher In the slum dlxtru «>f a large city once gathered ber fh*ek and led them to a vacant lot. where she proposed they should create their own playground. The Idea was received with wild enthu*tasm. and the youngsters fell to work with a will removing stones ami debris. In tho mtd-i of the excitement a large boy was needed to move a particularly ob stinate stone. "Smith. Smith." called the reachor to one of her star pupils, "come and help us ” Tie- bo> came with seeming relucU nnc* end having removed the stone, drew the teacher aside. "Say. teacher." he begged, "plcaae don't call roe Smith." "Why. what am I to call you?” sbo naked in astonishment. "Schmltty. please, teacher. You *o«\ I*m Smith In society; but. here. I'm Bchm!t*y on the dump." Senator Moses E. Clapp of Minor* aocn. the Junior senator from that state, bears a rvniarkable l'kencss to former Senator John A Logan Hl* coal-black hair. eyes, mustache and massive figure make him n striking figure on the floor of the senate. Alveolar Dentistry. A di'-tinct advance In dental science. IxM>se and falling teeth saved. Pyor rhea usd all the diseases of the gums cored. Missing teeth replaced with out plates or brfdcework. Booklet free. The Hex IVntsl Company. Rooms 20 to 25. 72S Sixteenth street. Denver. Denver Directory r* T x»»i nJ. H. WILSOXSTOCK SADDLES Aa* >nur riwiwr f-r ih»m 'l'»» no olhwr QTIU/F KEI’AIItS nf »»»r» Wn*'wn makt glVlbni tMn. (urnir- -r r»n«* »•**». A. rsliM. IX3I U*r*nc*. l»«-u»rr. I'hnn. SJJ. Wltrrp I'LAXT*. Il«.m f»-th. TRrrS I.urrn'l Xunrilr*. I IlLbw |i»ni*r. ('•»■<> Aceni* v»niu«*«l. BROWN PALACE HOTEL tta'SOS ruwpw rim. »U 0 sad t'pwH. Cl ODIQT Floral «l-«l*ng for an.! rLUfllwl funeral*, rut r."wrr*wirk*J »nl alilpr*-! *»n »hor« nolle- Tliurwlon If. V. Smith. Tfirptww .Wain MM. *»*! Uwrrnw At THE COLORADO SADDLERY CO. larlorr I*ol-D Markrt *l. lifn»»r. Hirnr*. in *\try *tyl* S«U<!>* of errrr d*- aciitMion. Awk >nur •1.-alvr for "th» Hmooth lan- In ih- wm " MINE. C. HELENE KNUDSEN Rleetrlr Vrrillr *t|te«-lnllat. REMOVES FACIAL BLEMISHES. fWperfln.nl* hair. nx4n. Inrthmark*. «r SU Kth MriTl iti|i|>Oiilr lln.wn P*Urr . Main «ISL GULF COAST OF TEXAS Modi delightful country on earth, ralec figs, orange* nn.l nil kinds of gar den truck, four crops per year. Send 15c for Gulf Const Mngnslne. Issued quarterly. 100 pages Interesting read ing on this country The Klmhnll Asrarv Co., 909 17th St. Denver. Colo. 0. E. BURLINGAME & CO., ASSAY OFFICE **° laboratory Xatablisbrd in Colorado.lM6. Sample* by mail or npien will receive prompt and careful attention Gold&Silrer Bullion Soountratlon Tests lx IJV6-173A Lasrenee St.. Denver. Cola* c. hTbaldwlN 4 CO., Mamifnrlurem of the World's tiranteat I'lauo* S fnet or lea; S op*r» makes of piano*. Capital and surplus I r.SAO.OOO.OQ Huy from the manufacturers, the .1.-.tlers do. Address !«•■>« California St ■ I>en\er. 40,000 KIMBALL flnnon nnd organs were sold last year. hlnk what tills means to the Intend ing buyer. Can you afford to take a ehanee on some unknown make, when we wn sell you PIANOS and on terms to suit n D P a Ai c you? Write today UKuANS for our illustrated Kimball catalogue Every piano buyer should have It. .Mention whethor you are interested in pianos or organa. The Knigi'-Campbeil Music Co. Established 1874. 1835-1031 California 9t„ Dearer. Cola. Oftei Tit Kidieys An Weekend if Onr-Wtrk. Unhealthy Kidneys Hake Impure Blood. It used to be considered thst only urinary and bladder troubles were to be. traced to the kidneys, fL but now modern j) science proves that / nearly all diseases have their beginning in the disorder of these most important The kidneys filter and purify the blood— that is their work. Therefore, when your kidneysure weak or out of order, you cun understand l»ow quickly your entire body i» affected and how every organ seem* to fail to do its II you are sick or " feel badly," begin taking the great kidney .remedy, Dr. Kilmer'* Swamp-Root, because aa soon a* tour kidneys arc well they will help all the other organ* to licullh. A trial w ill convince anyone. If vou arc sick you can make no mis take' by first doctoring your kidneys. The mild and the extraordinary effect of Dr. Kilmer'S Swamp-Root, the great kidnrv remedy, 1* *oon realised. It stands the highest for it* wonderful cures of the nio*t distressing case*, and is sold on it* merit* bv all f~ - druggist* m fifty-cetit gffWgjrgfA:'--Tgß and onc-dolUr bottle*. You may have a sample bottle n<ss* of Snap-Boot, bv mail free, al*o a pamphlet telling you how to find out if vou have kidney or bladder trouble. Mention this paper when writing to Dr. Kilmer & Co., Bing hamton. N. Y. Don't make any mistake, but remember the name. Swamp-Root, Dr. Kilmer'* Swamp-R*x>t. and the ad dress. Binghamton, N. Y.. on every bottle. BLAMED ON THE RAILROAD. First Thought in Irishman's Mind Af* Ur tha Accident. Railroad claim-agents have little faith In their fellow creatures. Ono said recently: "Every time 1 settle a claim with one of these hard headed rural residents who wants the rail road to pay twice whut ho would charge the butcher If he gets a sheep killed. I think of this story. Illustra tive of the way some people want to hold the railroad responsible for every accident, of whatever kind, that happens. Two Irishmen were driving home from town one nlcht when their buggy ran Into a ditch, overturned, and they were both stunned. When a rescuer came along and revived them, the first thing one of them said was: 'Where’s the train?* ‘Why. thoro's no train around.' he was told. 'Then where's the railroad?* 'The nearest railroad Is three mile* away.* he learned. 'Well, well.* he commented. *1 knew It hit u* pretty hard, but 1 didn't suppose It knocked us threo miles from the track.* ** THE SOFT ANSWER. Stern Parent—l hadn't nny of tho advantages you have had. How do you suppose I have got on as I have? Young Hopeless (Intending to make a soothing reply)—Er—l expect the grass wouldn't grow uuder your feoL sir! Hath nny wronged thee? Be brave ly revenged. Slight It. nnd the work Is begun: pardon it. nnd it Is finished. He Is below himself that Is not above an Injury-—Bolleau. RAILROAD MAN Didn't Like Being Starved. A man running on n railroad has to oe in good condition all the time or he Is liable to do harm to himself and others. A clear head Is necessary to run a locomotive or conduct a train. Even a railroad man's appetite and diges tion are matters of Importance, as the clear brain and steady hand result from the healthy appetite followed by the proper digestion of food. "For the past five years," writes a railroader, "I have been constantly troubled with indigestion. Every doc tor I consulted seemed to want to starve me to death. First I was diet ed on warm water and toast until I was almost starved; then, when they would let me eat, the Indigestion would be right back again. "Only temporary relief came from remedies, and l tried about all of them I saw advertised. About three months ngo a friend advised me to try Grape- Nuts food. The very first day I no ticed that my appetite was satisfied, which had not been tho case before, that I can remember. "In a week. I believe, I had more energy than ever before In my life. I have gained seven pounds and have not had a touch of indigestion since I have been eating Grape-Nuts. When my wife saw how much good this food was doing mo she thought she would try it awhile. We believe the dis coverer of Grapo-Nuts found the 'Per fect Food.’ ” Name given by Postum Co.. Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well vine," In pkgs. "There's a Reason." “Will You Walk Into My Parlor?” By Armiger Barclay "You really ought not to have told me anything about it. Tom," demurred little Mrs. Levuge. Little Mrs. Levurge looked a trifle dlsapfMiinted. In spite of her well simulated Indignation she felt all u pretty woman's Interest In an affaire du caeur. Besides, she was very fond of ber big nephew, Tom Kufford. and liked him none the less because he was In the habit of confiding In her at | such times as the tender passlou moved him. "Is she very nice?" she smiled. "She's too delightful for words! She luts all the charms of the most ( harming women I've ever known, j and none of their defects. Just think. > I Llano* A woman as beautiful as a j goddess, and who Isn't 'on the make" , You don't find ’em nowadays. I've | , known her for a month now, and 1 would you believe It. I’ve only been üble to make her accept a few flower* I—a couple of sprays of orchids. She j : absolutely refuses to let me spend a ! penny ou her!" "It sounds Just a little suburban. Tom." "Don't you make any mistake. You ' know a bit about dresa and ail that sort of thing, but you're not In It with her. I.lane. Her dresses! Never saw anything so wonderful In my life, or so many. She goes to Katchenka*. and what her bill there must be heav en only knows!" Mrs. Levnge looked at him affee tlonately. "Do bo careful. Tom. dear." she Ira plored. "She may be everything you think, but — You haven't been foolish enough to write her any letters, have you?” Tom's hesitation was sufficient an swer. "Oh. you silly man!" she cried. "Only one. I.lane —and short at that." he pretested. "Yes. I know. Full nf Idiotic admls slons. The sort of letter they scream about In the divorce court. Ob. Tom. now could you be so foolish?" "No need to distress yourself, my dear girl," he assured her. "She rounded on me quite enough herself about what she called the Indlscre tlon of IL Told me she tore the letter up In little bits directly she'd read It So there’s no harm done." "Well." said his little mentor, as she rose to go. "you're old enough to look after yourself. I suppose. No. I can’t stop. My electric's wait Ing. and the current 1s running out. Tom shut the outor door of the flat, picked up a letter lying In the hall? acd returned to his pleasant sitting room. The little confidences of the morning served to whet an already ar dent passion. It provided vistas of de lightful reflection. Tom Kufford. In a comfortable arm-chair, with the spring sunshine brightening all around him. felt supremely happy. One thing was quite certain: Constance Windham returned his affection unselfishly. She was unhappy, and he had consoled her. Precious thought! She asked j for nothing, could expect nothing more. How much better—how much, purer—this than the every-day court ship that Implied material returns. Tom had had one or two experience* 1 that rankled! With a sigh of satisfaction he opened the business-looking letter that he had brought In. and began reading It. "Sir:—During hsr visit h*r* yesterday. Mrs Windham dropped a letter bearing your name nnd address which begins: •Jdy own Constance I Tha sweet admis sion that you return my love nils my heart with tenderness. 1 adore you! For me the world begins and ends with you! When am 1 to see you—hold your dear hands In mine again?' "! make no excuse for taking the only means In my power to obtain a settlement slth Mrs. Windham, t'nless I receive. Iby this orternoon. the sum of 4817 M-5-0 which she owes me. I shall be compelled In self-defense, to plate your letter In the hands of the lady's husband. 1 am. sir. obediently yours. "LUCIE KATCHENKA." What monstrous thing was this? A trade trick, or a practical Joke? But the letter! The dreadful fact re mained that he had written it—only two days ago! How had it got into Katcbenka's hands? Had not Con stance herself told him that she had destroyed it? Oh. this must be some infernal trick of the dressmaker's. Besides, how could any woman—even Constance—owe such a sum as seven teen hundred pounds for costumes? He dashed out. Jumped Into a cab. and in a quarter of an hour was with her. Without preamble he came to the point. "Do you owe Katchenka seventeen hundred and odd pounds? Tell me quickly.” he asked, breathlessly. The lady drew herself up. "By what right do you Intrude Into my private concerns?" she replied, haughtily. "Don't be angry with me. Con stance.” he Implored. "I understand your pride, your disinterestedness. But, for your own sake—and mine— you must be frank." "Even." she hesitated, affected by his earnestness, "even If I admit that unfortunately I am In debt for so large a sum. I den't see —" "Well, you'll see In a moment! Read that." She took the letter, looked at IL and then, with a cry of horror, staggered to a sofa. "Great heavens-” she gasped. "I am lost!” "Then It's true! Katchenka means mischief?" (Copy light.) "She must—the wretch! I must have been mad to run up such a bill, but—" here she hid her face—"l want ed to look my best—tu please you. If only I hud destroyed tho letter!" "But you told me you had!" "Yes. I know. 1 meant to. But—lt was the only one 1 had from you—and —and I treasured It so! 1 kept it by me to read at every opportunity. 1 never tired of reading It. How 1 dropped It 1 do not know; but of one thing I am sure: Katchenka will keep her word and carry out her threat If she Isn't paid. Oh. It's maddening!" She burled her face In the sofa cush ions and wept hysterically. Tom. sorely moved by her tears, hastened to comfort her. "Conn*. dearesL" be murmured, "don't let this distress you so. I know It's entirely my fault that It haa hap pened. so I— ** "You shall not." she Interrupted an grily. "You shut! not pay my debts. I'leuse understand I won’t allow you to do that. I have been foolish, and I must take the consequences." "Do you realize what that means?" ‘ he asked, anxiously. "Your husband will have the letter and put the worst possible construction ur"** It. Th«* result will l>e social ruin .o us both. You must let me settle this affair.** Mrs. Windham, with the tear* streaming down her beautiful face. l>acod tho room twice before answer ing. She looked at Tom tenderly. "So 1m- it." she said, with streaming eyes. "Do as you wish, dear one. 1 can give you no greater proof of my love. One day I will repay— ** Tom did not wait for more. It seemed to him a matter of life and death to settle with Katchenka out of hand. He drove like a hurricane to the establishment In Albcrmsrle street, and «os kept In a state of tense anxiety until he saw tho proprietress In person. She came In. a perfect fig ure In soft black silk, her whtto teeth showing In a fascinating smile. "Look here, madam.” he began. "I haven't got anything like the sum you demand. I can manage five hun dred—" She Interrupted him with a gesture and a curiously decided shake of the head. "If you've only come to bargain. Mr. Rufford. I'm afraid I can't listen to you." she declared. "I'm aorry. but your letter Is worth every penny 1 ask. Can’t you see that Mr. Windham would give me more for It—for several rea sons? Besides. I can't afford to lose tho chnnce of getting a settlement of Mrs. Windham's account. Business is business, you know. If I don't have the money by three o'clock— ** She shrugged her wollshapcn shoulders — "I shall have to go to Mr. Windhatn with the letter myself. That's really all I can do." Tom left In a rage His Income was derived from landed property; and one can't mortgage that between ono and three of a spring afternoon. Of ready money he had about four hun dred at his bank, and that was all. j There he negotiated an overdraft for five hundred more, and went on to his club, whore he tried a friend or two. and drew blank. By half past two It had come to bo a case of the professional usurer or | nothing. Tbo rate of Interest Tom i bad to pay was ruinous, but he hadn't even time to resent IL It wanted but a few minutes of threo I when he got back to Katchenka's. paid madam tho money, and received. In re turn. an acknowledgment in full on behalf of Mrs. Windham. •Thanks." said Tom. bitterly as ho took It. "But I want tho letter as well." "What letter?" asked madam. "Why. the one you wrote about—tho one Mr*. Windham dropped here.'* "But I haven't got it It was never In niv itossesslon." she told him. "Not got It! You said you would take It to—to—" "I had to say that. I am sorry, but , —of course —I was obliged— '* Tom’s temper had been strained by two hours of stress. Now it exploded —broke all bounds. He became violenL and madam, who feared the coming destruction of her valuable stock in trade, at last volunteered the admit* slon that the words she had quoted in her letter had been dictated to her. "But who—great Scott!—who die- ] tated them?" cried Tom, bewildered ' and full of a new anxiety. 'The best thing I can do is to let i you see this." said madam, meekly. ; ; From the recesses of her rustling silk i petticoat she drew an envelope. "It I will show you that I have only fol lowed Instructions, and am not respon sible for what has happened. Read It and convince yourself." Tom took the letter from her extend ed hand and read: "To Mrs. Windham.—Dear Madam: According to promise I hasten to Inform you that everything Is settled, and a re* celpt In full handed to the gentleman who brought the money. 2 cannot exprest sufficient admiration for your cl«v«r plan to aecure payment of my account, and. as money la very difficult to get In at this season of the year, I am more than grateful. Trusting soon to be favored with your further commands, and to open a fresh account with you, I am, deaf madam, obediently yours. "LUCIE KATCHENKA" "One thousand—seven hundred— and sixty-four pounds—five shillings for two sprays of orchids!" groaned Tom aa be went ouL “Whewl" The Matter With It “What Is the matter with my poem?" asked the amateur contribut or: “Isn't the meter all right?" "Oh, yes." replied the editor, "the meter Is excellent." "I think If you look again you will find that the rhymes are faultless." "The rhymes are very good, quit* Ingenious. I might say." "Then why do you decline It?" "You have forgotten to say any thing." A Warm Allusion. "Do you see that man across tha atreet?” “Ye*; who la her* ‘The greatest fellow for giving yoo hot air you ever came across." "Ob. a bluffer.’* "Not at all. He Is at the head ol a big beating company." Garfield Tea purities the blood, Medi cating rheumatism, gout and other chron ic diseases. It i* made of Herb*-not drugs! Love of our neighbor Is the only door out of the dungeon of eelL— George Macdonald. ONLY uxe “BROMO QtTNINK** Thai is LAXATIVS MHOM" QCININX. law* foe is* Sisaatur* of X W. GttOVX. L-d Uw Wort* n« to Cura a Col 4la Um Hay. Sc. A man wno says a mean tmng about another man isn't half as mesa as tho man who repeats IL Bmstoru For Infanta and Children. The Kind Yon Have ■ll AUTOHOL J Till CENT. AIWBjfS Bought HV ANvfrtaMr FYrparafbnfcrAs _ W Hi assesses! Bears the Eg Signature If Ensasaa: of AKy B£ OphOLMarphliK aartianL ft \l l f* Ej Not Narcotic. I Air AptiirnßrmrdyforrmSW lI SB m iasssss* VA For Over H "Is Thirty Years mmsm Shirt Bosoms, Collars and Cuffs y LAUNDERED WITH ■PMWJ^Deliance W t j: lij v Starch I] /A ** U>MS *' iun^ w ' , hother I tire*)-, to feel comfortable Uin only w ounces. Note / / tho difference. Ask your I / grocer for DEFIANCE STARCH. I f Insist on getting it and you will never I use any other brand. Defiance Stareh Company, Omaha, Neb. ■was V. L Dugin *4 a* $S Bit Eta SkOM Canot St E,nlM M A»y He Was Willing. In the morning mail tbs btmr *Hm found tho following written on n psa tal card: "Door Sir—l bare Junt grad uated from a correspondence school of Journalism. Would rou Ilka to hare me write for your popart J. Alexander McNutt." Seising hfs trusty pencil, tha busy editor dashed oS the following reply: "Dear J. Alex.— Certainly wo would be pleased to hare you write for our paper. Kindly address your letter to the circulation manaser and Incloas the regular subscription price." W. N. U.s DENVER. NO. 3. 1908.