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That's All. Edward Payson Weston, the famous ▼eteran walker, talked regretfully In Chicago about walking’s decay. “Pedestrianism,” he said, "has died out shockingly. A little boy said to me the other day: “ *What is a pedestrian?' *7 answered, truly enough: “ *Ob, he’s just one of those fellows who kick up a row when an automobile runs them down,’" Instead of doing things there are lots of men who Just sit around and , make a specialty of knowing how they should be done. —Chicago News. Where He Learned Hie Trade. Employer to applicant for work: "You say you learned your trade as an apprentice In one of the largest oon oerns In the country?” Applicant—Yes, sir, and during my five years’ apprenticeship I worked without receiving n cent for It! Employer—Did you work steadily all that time without pay? Applicant—l did, sir, and I got through only yesterday! Employer—You must be very Indus trious and ambitious. Where was It you learned your trade? Applicant—ln Sing Sing prison. Caught Up With the Cow. “What’s the matter?’’ asked a pas senger on a little North Carolina rail- | road, more remarkablo for discretion than for speed, as the trnin came to a ; standstill in the midst of green fields. “Cow on the track,” replied a train man laconically. “What’j the matter now?” asked the passenger an hour later, as the tf>in stopped once more. “Caught up with the cow again,” growled the brakeman. A Hard Head. Representative McCall of Massachu setts, said to Representative Williams of Mississippi, while chatting recently: “John, is it true that one can never i Injure a Southern darky by striking him on tho head?” “Absolutely true,” responded Wil- | liams with an air of great gravity, “As an Instance in point will convince you. A Mississippi darky went to j sle “p in a barn with his foet. against j tuo side. In the night a mule kicked ' him in the head and the concussion ! broke his ankle.” Power of Deceiving. There Is a Brooklyn woman who possesses a servant who is a model in ail respects save one—in that she is none too truthful. Lately the mistress has been using all her eloquence to make Nora see ( the error of deceitfulness. But at last she had to own herself beaten when 1 Nora, with a beaming Irish smile, turned and in a most oajoliug tone said: “Sure, now, mum, an’ wot do ye sup pose the power of dosavln’ was given us for?” Littleton’s steamer. “Martin W. Littleton, leading coun sel in the Thaw case, has a ready way with him,” said a New York lawyer. “One night at a dinner I heard him get back at an opponent like this: “ ‘Gentlemen,’ ho said, ‘if you knew i Blank as well as I do, you’d under stand that when his mouth opens his | brain ceases to work. He reminds me of a little steamer that used to run on the Missouri. The steamer had a sev en-inch whiHtle. The effect of this was that when the whistle blew the steamer stopped.’ ” No Use Dodging. no use uoagmg. Among tho men who served among Roosevelt’s Rough Riders in Cuba was a little Dutch Jew, who, according to the men in his own troop, was “the very incarnation of cool, impudent bra vado in a fight” He was a consistent fatalist. One day he observed a comrade dodging a spent, bullet that had whis tled uncomfortably close to him. “Vat’s ie use to dodge dem pullets?” sang out the little Jew. “Dey’ll hit you shust ns veil vere you are ns vere you ain’t!”■ —Everybody’s Magazine. Thanksgiving Repartee. Huggins (trying to be facetious) — Well, Uncle Mose, we’ve had some pretty dark nights lately, so I suppose you have secured your Thanksgiving turkey all right. Uncle Mose—’Deed an’ I hasn’t! De dark nights war all right, an’ I knew where there was a fine turkey, but some wufless white trash got dare ahead ob me. No Compensation Necessary. I know a young fellow who v jnt to work In a railroad offleo down ‘.own. and the first week he was there the “boss” caught him kissing the type writer, he glared at him and shouted: “Say, Howard, do I pay you for kissing my typewriter?” “No, sir,” answered the boy. “You don’t have to pay me, I’ll do it for nothing ” Denver Directory STOVE "*v l'allon. 1881 Lawrence. Denver. Phone 7*5. BROWN PALACE HOTEL “£ r European I’lwn. $1.50 and Upward. pafiaPa roses R I' I. 1J B, VINES. minims, fruit and ornamental trees STii-gtm m v ?p LOW PRICE. Free Cats low. Agent* Wanted. INTERNATIONAL NURSERIES “The Unr Grower*." Denver. Colorado. The M.J.O’FALLON SUPPLY CO. AVHOLICftALR Plumbing: and Steam Goods Boilers and radiators for heating residences and public building*- Oeneral steam and wa ter works supplies; pipe and fittings, valves and packing. Draw* pipe, sower pipe, cement, irarden nose, flro hose, etc. Inquire for our special pipe cutting tools. Wcit® for general information. OFFICE, 1018 WVNKOOP ST.. DENVER, COLORADO. A. E. BURLINGAME A CO., ASSAY OFFICE * ND LABORATORY j Established in Colorado,lB66. Samples by mail or express will receive prompt and careful attention Sold & Silver Bullion l "r n d ,“^ , c a „ , :iVS* rM Concentration Tests— 100 wV»°"* r i I °™.! oU ’ ITM-IT&3 Lawrence St., Ueaver, Colo. JACK FROST'S WORK OURIOUB ACCIDENTS CAUSED BY ICE AND SNOW. Buddsn Thaw Responsible for Trag •dies in All Part* of the Earth — Remarkable Disaster on the Zuider Zee. Although scores of lives are lost yearly as a result of rash skaters von- I turing on ice too thin to bear their weight, yet the worst tragedies of frost are—by a curious contradiction —those caused by thaw, says Pear eon’s Weekly. In February, four years ago, there was a tremendous frost on the conti nent. The Vistula, among other rivers, was covered with ice of im mense thickness, and when the thaw came and the bonds of frost were loosened the roaring river became choked with gigantic dams of ice. In Galicia, near Szcuezin, the floes grounded in a shallow part of the stream and instantly a vast barrier of ice began to rear itself; while behind it the choked river swelled Into a i mighty lake, and, pouring over its | banks, Inundated the flat country for a width of 19 miles. ; A regiment of sappers, armed with ! dynamite, arrived by special train, j but their efforts were of little use. Within 24 hours no fewer than ten villages were under water, 800 fam ilies were homeless, and nearly 70 peo ple were drowned. A dreadful disaster was that which j happened a couple of winters ago at | Wieringen, on the Zuider Zee. This j , great shallow inland sea of brackish ! water usually freezes every winter for ! ; a long distance out. One January I evening a number of people were ! amusing themselves Bkatlng off the j | village, some at a considerable dis- I tance from shore, when suddenly a j great floe, acres in extent, cracked away from the rest of the ice, and a | rapidly widening lane of water <3l , ■ vided a dozen skaters from the | shore. Some plunged in and swam back, but seven were carried out to sea on t the floating ice. Those on shore rushed for boats, but here the frost completed its deadly work. The j boats were too tightly frosen into the I sand of the beach to be moved, and by : the time one was loosened it was dark. Next day the unhappy skaters ; were found frozen to death. On the low, sandy shores of Lake | Michigan stands the village of Sand- | point, a little plaoe of wooden-built ; houses, which is—oddly enough—in habited only in winter. Its people are i fishermen who catch their prey by I cutting holes in the ice when the lake freezes. One night In February, 1907, a tremendous gale arose, and, before the sleeping Inhabitants of five of these little boxlike dwellings knew what had happened, their homes, | which were built without foundations, I were blown on to the Ice, and went sliding out at a great speed across the frozen surface. One house dropped into a water hole and its in habitants were drowned, but the others, fortunately, brought up safe against the edge of a long cape which runs out crescent fashion almost op posite the village. One of the most amazing tragedies of frost occurred In Colorado on a February day 12 years ago. The tem perature was far below zero, but the air dry and clear and the sun shin ing with amazing brilliancy. Five people, who were driving together across the tract of forest reserve known as North park, did not really feel the cold. Suddenly the distant mountains dis appeared in a white mist and the sun lost its brilliancy. Presently one of the women put her hand up to her cheek, crying out that something had stung her. A breeze began to blow and the air became charged with a mist of fine particles which glistened like diamond dust. They saw a settler, his face covered in a shawl, signaling to them furiously. They drove to his house and he hurried them in. Before morning all the party was dreadfully ill and one wom an was dead. This fog is of fine ice particles, so intensely cold that they reach the lungs without melting. The j Indians justly call this strange phe uomenon the white death. Spain in America. Not to know the history of Spain is not to know the history of America. The discoveries of the early explorers and colonizers are deeply imbedded in the records of the Spanish empire at its mightiest period. The language they brought to this hemisphere still prevails through an area on this side of the Atlantic almost four times that of the United States. Our coast line bristles with Spanish names from ; Florida to the Straits of Vancovuer. j Even to-day in our own southwest sev eral hundred thousand of our citi zens use the Spanish tongue. The barrier of language has been the great obstacle to a better knowl edge of and sympathy with people and things of Spanish origin. Only lately lias the Spanish language been in cluded in our school courses. Few Americans among the hosts of an nual tourists have been induced to see Spain with their own eyes and know its people. Save Us from Our Friends. “Dubley bought a horse the other day and —” “Yes; horribly stuck, wasn’t he?” “Ah, you’ve seen the horse?” “No, but he told me he was going to buy one from ‘a friend who is in the business.’ ” DO YOU KNOW WHAT WHITE LEAD IS? Ito Chief Uee and a Method of Deter mining Good from Bad Explained. White Lead is the standard paint material all over the world. It Is made by corroding metallic lead into a white powder, through exposing it to the fumes of weak acetic acid and carbonic acid gas; this powder 1b then ground and mixed with linseed oil, making a j thick paste, in which form it is packed : and sold for painting purposes. Tho painter thins it down to the proper consistency for application by the ad dition of more linseed oil. The above refers, of course, to pure, genuine White Lead only. Adulterated and fake “White Lead,” of which there are many brands on tho market, is generally some sort of composition containing only a percentage of white lead; sometimes no White Lead at all; In such stufT, barytes or ground rock, chalk, and similar cheap substances are used to make bulk and imitate the appearance of pure White Lead. There is, however, a positive test by which the purity or impurity of White Lead may be proved or exposed, be fore painting with it. The blow-pipe flame will reduce pure white lead to metallic lead. If a supposed white lead be thus tested and it only partially reduces to lead, leaving a residue, it is proof that something else was there besides white lead. Tho National Lead Company guar antee all White Lead sold in packages bearing its “Dutch Boy Painter” trade | mark to prove absolutely pure under this blow-pipe test, and that you may make the test yourself In your own ! homo, they will send free upon re quest a blow-pipe and everything else necessary to make the test, together with a valuable booklet on paint. Ad dress, National Lead Company, Wood bridge Building, New York. WHY THEY SLEEP IN CHURCH. Hypnotism, Not Drowsiness, Deolarsd to Be the Cause. “Churchgoers don’t sleep in church. They undergo an hypnotic trance. The soothing voices and mild music and monotonous recitative of a church | ! service put forth powerful hypnotic influences, and that is why the pews resemble a railroad track in the abundance of their sleepers.” The speaker, a hypnotist, banged i the table vehemently. “Don’t laugh,” he said. “It’s true. I Hypnotism, not drowsiness, Is what makes you sleep in church. Through your auditory nerve sound waves arc passed to your brain that are as ef fective as though a professional hyp notist had made them. Sound, you know, is the newest and best hyp notic. “At first, in the church service, the periodicity of the wave alterations is short. There is a little speaking, then more music. And Just when you are getting properly lulled the clergy man, in a modulated, agreeable, sooth ing voice, speaks on and on and on— and you begin to nod. You are, hyp notically speaking, entranced. “The average church service Is a scientifically correct hypnotic Instru ment. No wonder, then, it puts many of us to sleep.” Beyond Him. On the occasion of the production of “Lucia” at the Metropolitan opera house last winter a well-known club man, who had taken a cousin from a Connecticut town to hear Donizetti’s great work, turned to his relative dur ing the first intermission and asked how he liked the opera. “Oh, pretty fair,” said the visitor; “but is the whole blamed thing in Latin ?” —Harper’s. A Diplomat. “So you gave your husband a box of cigars?” “Yes,” answered young Mrs. Tor kins. “Did he appreciate them?” “Indeed he did. He values them so highly that he is smoking a pipe so as not to use them up too farL” HAPPY OLD AGE Most Likely to Follow Proper Eating. As old age advances, we require less food to replace waste, and food that will not overtax the digestivo organa, while supplying true nourishment. Such an ideal food Is found ih Grape- Nuts, made of whole wheat and barley by long baking and action of diastase In tho barley which changes the starch into sugar. The phosphates also, placed up un der the bran-coat of the wheat, are in cluded in Grape-Nuts, but left out of white flour. They are necessary to the building of brain and nerve cells. “I have used Grape-Nuts,” writes an ! lowa man, “for 8 years and feel as good and am stronger than I was ten years ago. lam over 74 years old, and at tend to my business every day. “Among my customers I meet a man every day who is 92 years old and at tributes his good health to the use of Grape-Nuts and Postum which he has used for the last 6 years. He mixes Grape-Nuts with Postum and says they go fine together. “For many years before I began to eat Grape-Nuts, I could not say that I enjoyed life or knew what it was to be able to say ’I am well.’ I suffered gTeatly with constipation, now my hab its are as regular as ever In my life. “Whenever I make extra effort I depend on Grape-Nuts food and it just Alls the bill. I can think and write a great deal easier.” “There’s a Reason.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read “The Road to Wellville,” in pkgs. A REMARKABLE MAN. , - Active end Bright, Though Almoet m Centenarian. Shepard Kollock, of 44 Wallace SL, Red Bank, N. J., is a remarkable man at the age of 98. For 40 years he was a victim of kidney troubles and doctors said he would never be cured. “I was trying everything,” says Mr. Kollock, “but my back was lame and weak, ; and every exertion sent a sharp twinge through me. I had to get up 1 several times each night and the kid ney secretions contained a heavy sedi ment Recently I began using Doan’s Kidney Pills, with fine results. They 1 have given me entire relief.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Origin of tho Elevator. r The elevator originated in Central Europe. The earliest mention of the elovator Is made in a letter of Na poleon I. addressed to his wife, Arch duchess Maria Louise. He writes to I her that when in Schoenbrunn, then i, the summer residence of the Austrian emperor, near Vienna, he used the . | “chaise volante” (flying chair) in that ! castle which had been constructed for ,! Empress Maria Theresa. It consisted of a small, square room, sumptuously 1 furnished with hangings of red silk and suspended by strong ropes with counter weights, so that it could be pulled up or let down with great ease in a shaft built for the purpose about 1760. c. Just mere shadows of their former , selves. DEEP CRACKS FROM ECZEMA Could Lay Slate-Pencil In One—Hands In Dreadful State —Permanent Cure in Cuticura. “I had eczema on my hands for about seven years and during that time I had used several so-called rem edies, together with physicians’ and druggists’ prescriptions. The disease was so bad on my hands that I could lay a slate-pencil In one of the cracks and a rule placed across the hand would not touch the pencil. I kept using remedy after remedy, and while some gave partial relief, none relieved as much as did the first box of Cuti cura Ointment. I made a purchase of Cuticura Soap and Ointment and my hands were perfectly cured after two boxes of Cuticura Ointment and one cake of Cuticura Soap were used. W. H. Dean, Newark, Del., Mar. 28, 1907.” On the Judges. A celebrated Scottish lawyer had to address the Caledonian equivalent of our supreme court. His “pleading” oc cupied an entire day. After seven hours of almost continuous oratory he went home, at supper and was asked to conduct family worship. As he was exhausted his devotions were brief. “I am ashamed of ye,” said the old mother. “To think ye could talk for seeven hoors up at the court and dis miss your Maker in seeven minutes.” “Ay, verra true,” was the reply, “but ye maun mind that the Lord lsna sae dull in the uptak as thae judge bodies.” Billion Dollar Grass. Moat remarkable grass of the century. Good for three rousing crops annually. One lowa farmer on 100 acres sold $3,- 800.00 worth of seed and had 300 tons of hay besides. It is immense. Do try it. For 10c and this notice send to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., to pay postage, etc., ana they will mail you the only original seed catalog published in America with sam ples of Billion Dollar Grass, Macaroni Wheat, the sly miller mixer, Sainfoin the dry soil luxuriator. Victoria Rape, the 20c a ton green food producer, Silver King Barley yielding 173 Du. per acre, etc., etc., etc. And if you send 14c we will add a pack age of new farm seed never before seen by you. John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis. K. & W. Transmitted Snake Bite. An extraordinary case of snake poi soning is reported from a country hos pital in Victoria, N. S. W. An old man was brought in in a comatose state and showing all the symptoms of hav ing been bitten by a venomous snake. But on investigation it was found he had been bitten by a dog, which died almost immediately afterward from snake bite. Medical treatment was successful, and the man gradually re covered from the snake poison which ' the reptile had indirectly transmitted to him. i How's This? W* offer On* Hundred D«llara Reward fer anr toae of Catarrh that cannot be cared by Hall'* Catarrh Care. F. J. CHENEY A CO., Toledo. O. ' We, the underpinned, have known F. J. Chaney for the last 15 years, and bellere him perfectly hon orable In ell buslnesa transaction* and financially i able to carry oat any obligation* made by his firm. WILIIINU, Kivitx A Mlitix, 1 Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally, acUng directly upon the blood and mucous surface* of the system. Testimonials sent free. Price 71 cents per r bottle. Bold by all Druggists. Taka Hall's Family Puls for oonstlpatlon. i It’s All Right, Then. She—You have kissed other girls, " haven’t you? I 1 He—Yes; but no one that you know. —Harper’s Weekly. Strenuous Method of Saving Life. Two officers who were hunting , wolves on the Dry mountain In cen tral Servia lost their way in a fog. After wandering for 14 hours one of them lay down in the snow and speed ily became unconscious. His comrade bound him with cords, placed him in a sitting position and then rolled him down the mountain. He glided down the slope at terrific speed and reached the bottom safely, being found an hour later in an exhausted condi tion by a peasant. He is now in the i hospital being treated for the lacera | tions he received in bumping over tho : rocks during his descent. His com j panion Is unhurt. Giving It the Acid Test. The clairvoyant was swaying back and forth under the severe strain of her mental connection with the realm of spirits. “Now,” she chanted, “call upon any soul you will and I will make it speak to you —yes, even visible to you.” For she was up to date in the biz. “Bring me,” asked the masculine skeptic, “Brevity, the soul of Wit- Right here the seance ended. —Cin- cinnati Enquirer. Didn’t Need It. Agent—Here’s a book that will be welcome in every family. It contains all the rules of etiquette and direc tions for avoiding slips in grammar. Hiram Grasscutt —Don’t need noth in* of that kind. Got a daughter hum from boardin’ school, a son goin’ to high school an’ a hired man who’s a college feller workin’ fer his health. But, by jing, partner, it’s a relief to talk once in a while to a common, ordinary person. I don’t need the book, but I’m darned glad you called. Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of| In Use For Over .70 Years. The Kind You Have Always Bought Frozen Lambs. Bill —I see that of domestic animals, sheep come first as cold resisters. ) Sheep have lived for weekß burled in snow. Jill—They’ve often been frozen out in Wall street, thoush. It Cures While You Walk. It VsUiCB vviiiic i uu ff am. Alien’d Foot-Ease is a certain cure for hot, sweating, callous, and swollen, aching feet. Sold by nil Druggists. Price 25c. Don’t accept any substitute. Trial package FRBE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Lc Roy, N. Y. Bulgarians' Healthful Diet. In Bulgaria the chief article of food is sour milk made into zoghurt. On this diet the people live to a rare old age. The damage caused by rust is mors to be feared than the wear and tear of work. —Haliburton. He surely is in want of another’s patience who has none of his own.— Lavater. "WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE. From October to May, Colds are the most fre quent cuime of Headache. LAXATIVE UKOMO QUININE removes cause. K.W.Grove on box *60 For His “Animated Nature." Goldsmith got $4,600 for his “Ani mated Nature.” PILES CURED IN O TO 14 DATS. Pirn nri«TiiuuTi . ... ... « a » r *rue*d to care any ease *’ Bleeding or Protruding Plleela 6 to U days or money refunded. 60c. High aims form noble character and great objects bring out great minds.— Tryon Edwards. S. Winslow'S Soothing Syrup. «»• s■»«»■, reduoea to amtoauoa, oUaya p*fc, oarea wind colls. Me a botlte! Many a man gets left by sticking to the right \ Ml O “OUCH” OH, MY BACK IT is WONDERFUL HOW QUICKLY THE PAIN AND STIFFNESS CO WHEN YOU USE ■V. S'JACOBS OIL \y-Kk THIS WELL-TRIED. OLD-TIME REMEDY FILLS THE BILL 25c. ALL DRUGGISTS—6Oa. MM CONQUERS mm pain -—j Jar | B r 6I Do E iK Show C,n " ot * fqolM At Anj kf SHIELD brand SHOES t««ther trimmTLfTy- pat.nt ‘ • **■*>. u'jz a ,lipp€r - ELLET-KENDALL SHOE CO. MFCS. L " K«n»a» City. Mo. I AM A MOTHER , How many American women in lonely hotaes to-day long for this blessing to come into their lives, and to be able to utter these words, but because of some organic derange ment this happiness is denied them. Every woman interested in this subject should know that prepara tion for healthy maternity is accomplished by the use of LYDIA E.PINKHAM’B VEGETABLE COMPOUND Mrs. Maggie Gilmer, of West Union, S. C.,writes to Mrs. Pinkham: “I was greatly run-down in health from a weakness peculiar to my sex, when Lydia EL Pinkham's Vegetable Compound was recommended to me. It not only restored me to perfect health, but to my delight I am a mother.” Mrs. Josephine Hall, of Bardstown; Ky., writes: g “ I was a very great su3toer from female troubles, and my physician failed to help me. Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vege table Compound not only restored me to perfect health, but I am now a proud mother." 4 FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN. For thirty years Lydia E. Pink ham’s Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female ills, and has positively cured thousands of women who have been troubled with displacements, inflammation, ulcera tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, that bear ing-down feeling, flatulency, indiges tion,dizziness or nervous prostration. Why don’t you try it ? Mrs. Pinkham Invites all sick women to write her for advice. Sho lias guided thousands to health. Address, Lynn, Muss. are tfie best known and the most reliable seeds crown. ** Every package has behind It the reputation or a house whose business standards are tae highest In the trade. a A““> wl . n mailed FREB c „' 1 contain* colored platea, many *• price* ami direction* IrE. p, "L tln iF °Y r 1300 varieties of Vegetable aad ( Flower Heed*. Invaluable to all. Senator it. ** i D. M. FIRRY * CO., Detroit, Mloh.. ~ ' 9 f BOY PAINTERUk^S i | PAI NT \ 1 IT IS .FOUND ON LYON I \ PURE WHITE PROCESS.