The Frostburg spirit., November 06, 1913, Image 6

About The Frostburg spirit. (Frostburg, Md.) 1913-1915

Image provided by: University of Maryland, College Park, MD

                
BIG CLOCK WITHOUT HANDS
Hours, Minutes and Seconds Are In
dicated by Arrangement of Multi
colored Electric Bulbs.
One of the largest electric clocks In
existence has just been exhibited. It
is a marvel of Beauty and workman
ship. The pendulum weighs over 3,000
pounds. The clock contains 5,485
multicolored electric bulbs, for which '
11,000 connections were necessary i
and over a mile of wire. In making
the connections 140 pounds of special
screws were required. The dial, al
though it indicates hours, minutes,
and seconds, has no hands.
The time in minutes is Indicated
by 60 series of lights, each series con
taining 32 globe-covered bulbs, radiat
ing from an ornamental centerpiece
to the outer edge of the dial. Short
er rows of different colored lights in
dicate the hour, and these change
their different position 12 times dur
ing each 60 minutes, or once every
five minutes. The seconds are shown
by 60 lights placed at equal distances
around the extreme outer edge of the
face.
The hour figures are three feet high,
outlined in colored lights. Each sec
ond the illumination in the outer cir
cle of light moves forward one bulb,
and when the dial has been entirely
circled the lights indicating the min
utes also advance, and the hour hand,
formed by lights, makes its slow jour
ney at five-minute intervals. Despite
the huge proportions of the clock it
has been found that it keeps absolute
ly correct time even to the second.
NEW POCKET ELECTRIC LAMP |
Continuous Light Is Supplied by Small
Dynamo Instead of the Custom
ary Dry Battery.
Instead of the customary dry bat
tery, this ingenious pocket electric
flash lamp is provided with little
dynamo which is driven by a spring
says the Popular Mechanics. The
lamp can be made to give a continuous
r-
Pocket Electric Lamp.
light by simply depressing a lever at
regular intervals of about three or four I
seconds, the action of the lever simul
taneously releasing and rewinding the
spring. The lamp is 5% inches long
by 1% inches in diameter.
READING LAMP IS PORTABLE
Battery Is Provided With Clip, Adapt
able to Be Attached to Book,
With Arm Supporter.
The battery of this portable electric
reading lamp is provided with a clip,
adapted to be attached to the cover of
s -
Portable Reading Lamp.
a book, and an arm designed to sup
port the lamp in such position that it
will illuminate the pages. The loca
tion of the electric bulb interferes in
\o way with the turning of the pages.
Canadian Telephone Lines.
There arc in Canada 4 telephone
lines owned by provincial govern
ments, 27 owned by municipalities,
368 owned by corporations, 133 owned
by co-operative companies, 31 owned
by partnerships and 113 private lines.
For Quick Washing.
A vertical cylindrical brush, ae high
as a railroad car, driven by an elec
tric motor and supplied with water as
it revolves, has been invented for
quickly washing the exterior of rail
road rolling stock.
Save Much Coal.
According to an English purliamen
mentary committee the production of
all of London’s electric power in a
few large stations w(?uld save 6.000,-
000 tons of coal a year and greatly
lessen the smoke nuisance.
Something Spectacular.
The plans for the illumination of
the Panama-Pacific exposition at San
Francisco in 1915 call for something
entirely new in spectacular effect.
Oriental color and soft lighting effects
will predominate.
Talking Machine Repeats.
A talking machine may be made to
repeat a record through the invention
of a German of a disk on which is a
return groove to (Strry the needle au
tomatically from the end back to the
starting point.
Largest Electro-Magnet.
The world’s largest electro-magnet
is being built in Paris at a cost of
$40,000. The magnet will be placed
-at the disposal of all scientists for ex
'perimeptal purposes. I
ALL PORCELAIN C-H SOCKET
Device Is Especially Adapted to Damp
Locations, Such as Basements—
Is Readily Installed.
The accompanying cut shows a new
ly designed, all porcelain, C-H socket
constructed for service with heating,
cooking and motor driven devices. In
fact, the socket is rated to carry 660
watts, somewhat more than the energy
required by a six-pound pressing iron.
The horizontal switch bar enables
the current to be turned on with one
hand and without twisting or jerking
the socket as with a key, says the Pop
ular Electricity. Pressing the white
- .
\ <
All’Porcelain Socket.
end of the bar turns on the current,
while pressing the black end turns it
off.
The socket is especially adapted to
damp locations such as basements,
laundries, etc., and can be wiped off
with a moist cloth and made to look
like new.
The socket is readily installed, as a
single screw allows the halves of the
casing to be separated, exposing the
terminal screws for the drop cord.
Electricity for Drying.
Two applications for electric heat
ing are used in connection with draft
ing work. One is the use of a port
able combination heater and fan, ordi
narily employed by hairdressers to
dry their customer's hair after wash
ing, to dry the ink on tracings. This
“wrinkle” shortens the time required
j to complete the tracing, as the fresh
ly mixed lines must be dry before
T-square or triangle can be moved
over the tracing. The other idea is
to dry blueprints by going over them
with an electric flatiron; and the flat
iron is also useful to straighten out
tracings and prints that have been
rolled or folded.
Keeps Target Moving.
An electric attachment for a target
such as is used on rifle ranges has
been designed by an Australian. It
keeps the target continually in mo
tion, backward and forward on the
track. The figures are constantly in
action, and it is an entirely different
proposition to hit once, especially in
a vulnerable spot, than if they were
stationary. Such a target is par
ticularly good for use in the militia or
the regular army, as in the case of
war it is not likely that the enemy
would stand still until somebody suc
ceeded in shooting them.
Smallest Central Station.
The smallest electric central sta
tion in the United States is at Sacra
mento, Neb., which is operated by a
three-horsepower coal-oil engine, and
its total load consists of 30 incandes
cent lamps.
Electricity generated in Sweden is
delivered in Copenhagen.
• • *
Canada now has about one tele
phone for each 20 persons.
* *
Wooden molding to hide electric
wire is prohibited in New York.
• • •
There are now more than two mil
lion farmers in the United States us
ing the telephone.
* •
There are more than 3,500 books on
electrical subjects in the Library of
Congress at Washington.
* * *
A company has been formed in Co
penhagen that will make it a business
to clean and disinfect telephones.
# * *
Carbons for lights and for electro
chemical purposes are being made
from tar by a new Swedish process.
• • *
That wireless telephoning to and
from automobiles is possible has been
proved by a Los Angeles experimenter.
• • •
Private electricians ' and plumbers
of Hamburg, Germany, are never al
lowed to tear up the streets for the
purpose cf making gas or electric
light connections.
* * *
Two Berlin publishers have devised
a scheme for combined telephone
news and musical service to be sup
plied to telephone subscribers for a
monthly payment of $1.25.
# * *
Most of the light rays from metal
lic filament electric lamps are radi
ated at right angles from the fila
ments.
• * •
There are now over two million far
mers using the telephone. Over a hun
dred thousand farmers installed the
telephone last year.
* *
Wireless telegraph outfits will be
carried by the sledge parties of the
American expedition soon to start on
an arctic exploration trip.
• * *
Electrically-operated ironers for flat
pieces, such as sheets, table cloths,
towels, etc., are now being made in
sizes suitable for the home.
• * *
Aluminum is to be turned out at
rate of 25,000 tons annually at a new
hydroelectric manufactory now under
construction In North Carolina.
• * *
Ten of the most powerful eleqO-ic lo
comotives ever built, capahle haul
ing 1,000 ton trains at a speed of 60
miles an hour, have been ordered by a
railroad for use at its New York ter-
I minal.
fccr-
GREAT EXCITEHENT
BEHIND THESCENES
Escaped Lioness in Theater
Gives Dainty Donita Scare
of Her Life.
NO CHANCE TO RUN
Vaudeville Dancer Wakes From Rev
erie to Find Rampaging Beast at
Her Shoulder; Showed Presence of
Mind by Rolling Downstairs.
Chicago.—Dainty Donita's “Book of
Etiquette and Social Guide” contains
no directions for conduct when one
awakens from a reverie to find a fiercc
escaped lioness hungrily opening a
foot or two of tooth-lined mouth right
at one’s shoulder.
So when such a denouement came
at a local theater the other day; when
Charley Carruthers, a giant nfegro boy
who works back-stage, became nearly
incandescent because of the speed
with which he flashed up a spiral stair
way, and when a crowd of stage help
ers melted into thin air all around her,
Donita forgot all her bewitching
graces as a dancer.
She wasn't, for the moment, "Dainty
Donita.” She was just a girl, and a
“mighty scared one at that,” she ad
mits, so she did just what any girl
might do. She fainted away and rolled
down the stairway into a dressing
room under the stage.
The steel curtain of the theater
came down with a crash. Trainers
rushed upon the frightened lioness and
drove her back into an iron cage, and
the audience of 2,000 persons had only
the screams of Donita and Mlbs
Blanch Gordon to advise it of the ex
citement behind the scenes.
The “Gypsy Princess” had finished
her act with the eight lions that per
form with her in the steel-clad arena.
“Arcona,” the lioness which caused
the disturbance, has been annoyed be
cause the other beasts kept her two
weeks- oldcubs nervous.
So 'when the "princess” entered the
cage after her act to help shut the
animals into their permanent quarters,
“Arcona” slipped out.
Donita sat at the head of the stair
way, waiting for Jack Crippen, a piano
player, to come up, and dreaming of
a day when not Pavlowa, but Donita,
should be looked upon by the world
as its foremost dancer.
"I looked around,” said the dancer
afterward, “and there was that awful
lioness, her mouth open wide enough
just simply to swallow me whole.
Thank Heaven, I had presence of
mind enough to faint away.”
No one could know, of course, that
“Arcona,” with every man’s hand
against her, was frightened almost
into leonine hysterics.
The “princess" and “Arcona’s”
trainer, “Pete” Taylor, finally pushed
the lioness behind some scenery and
“There Was That Awful Lioness.”
locked her up. Miss Gordon was per
suaded to unlock the iron door of the
manager’s office. Caruthers was
lured down from a rafter and John
Logan, the stage doorkeeper, began
shouting for help from an elevator pit.
Donita was revived.
TURTLE HEADS NAB CHICKENS
Here Is a Mysterious Hen Farm
Story Fresh From Eastern
Missouri.
Jefferson City, Mo.—Mr. and Mrs.
M. F. See, of Montgonmery county,
Missouri, caught two turtles some
time ago which they prepared to fat
ten for soup. The day for killing
them came recently. Mr. See went
out and chopped their head off and
threw them away and proceeded to
prepare for the feast.
Presently he heard a flutter among
the chickens which attracted his atten
tion, and he found the head of a turtle
had caught a chicken and from all ap
pearance was trying to swallow it.
Later he heard the second disturb
ance among the chickens and upon in
vestigation he found the other head
had caught a chicken. Now Mr. See
wants to know when a turtle is sup
posed to know It is dead.
Girl of 12 Swims Golden Gate.
San Francisco, Cal. —Miss Myrtle
Wright, twelve years old, swam the
mile and a quarter across the Golden
Gate, a feat never before accomplished
by a child swimmer. Because of
treacherous cross currents and eddies,
combined with the icy cold of the wa
ter, many expert swimmers have
failed to negotiate the distance.
His First Joy Ride.
Crown Point, tnd. —Steve Jurcha’s
first automobile joyride was enroute
to the electric chsur. A deputy sheriff
drove him to Michigan City, where he
"•as electrocuted for murder.
THE FROSTBURG SPIRIT, FROSTBURG, MD.
MINER HUGHES WAS A
MAN OF IRON NERVE
I Picks Up. Arm Severed at the
Shoulder and Walks
1,000 Feet.
Buffalo, N. Y. —After William
Hughes, a miner whose home was in
Scranton, Pa., was run over by a
freight train on the Central near
Forks station the other day, he
showed remarkable fortitude by pick
ing up his right arm, which was cut
off close to the shoulder, and running
more than 1,000 feet to a garage.
‘ There he fainted and fell from the
loss of blood. The man who runs the
garage placed Hughes in an automo
bile and made a fast trip to the Ger
- man Deaconess hospital.
i Hughes, who was otherwise hurt,
! could not stand the shock, and he
died during the night. Doctor Danser,
i the medical examiner, had the body
taken to the morgue.
The miner was about twenty-five
■ years old. He was. riding on a freight
i train toward this' city. The train
stopped at Forks and he got off and
’ was walking the tracks, when another
- •”* . *' $5
Snatched Up the Arm and Ran Along
the Tracks.
train ran him down. To the amaze
ment of the railroad men near by, he
snatched up the severed arm and ran
along the tracks toward the garage.
Several times he stumbled and
pitched forward, but, apparently,
keeping his mind on the first house
iu sight, he regained bis feet and
reached the house.
LONGEST FUNERAL ON RECORD
Man Leaves $5,000 to Pay Expenses
of Strange Trip From California
to New York.
San Diego, Cal. —When Michael
Moran of New York city went to San
Francisco seeking health he met W.
A. Peck, representative of an Ohio au
tomobile concern. They became’
friends.
One day when Moran was feeling
worse than usual and felt he was
going to die, Peck tried to cheer him
up.
“What do you care if you do pass
out?” he asked as a Joke. “I’ll take
you back to New York in an automo
bile hearse. Think of that! A funeral
from coast to coast!”
Moran gave his friend a sour look
and went back to the teuberculosis
hospital. Soon after Peck drifted
somewhere along the coast and forgot
about the promise he had made.
Moran died on August 14. When he
knew he could not live more than a
few hours he called the nurse to his
bedside.
“I want you to find W. A. Peck
somewhere,” he said, “and give him
this $5,000, remind him of a promise
he made to me, and tell him to spend
it on the trip.”
The nurse called the superintend
ent, who agreed to carry out Moran’s
last wishes. Peck was found in Seattle.
Then it took several days more to
make arrangements for the hearse.
SLEPT IN CORPSE’S PLACE
Sailor, Who Took Nap in a Rough
Box, Fastened In by
Chum.
Buffalo, N. Y. —A policeman was
startled a few mornings ago when a
rough box lying on the sidewalk in
front of an undertaker’s establishment
slowly turned over. When he drew
near to solve the mystery it again
turned over. A man from the un
dertaking shop was ordered to un
screw the lid.
Inside they found a sailor who gave
his name as John Deleth of Milwau
kee, Wis., who said he had been out on
a lark the night before with a fellow
sailor named Kelly.
“Says Kelly to mq,” Deleth told the
chief, “the first guy to the dead box
can sleep there. I slept all right, but
when I woke up I couldn’t get out.
Kelly’s been up to his tricks again.”
Deleth was locked up.
Dug Up Petrified Baseball.
Norfolk, Neb. —A baseball batted
into a cornfield 3d years ago by E. K
Ballantyne, later sergeant-at-arms in
the United States senate, was found
when excavations were being made for
a new building. The ball had become
petrified, but the seams and stitches
were visible. A slight dent on one
side marked the terrific wallop given
the ball by Ballantyne.
Feather Tickled Him.
Cincinnati, O.—A male passenger on
a street car narrowly escaped a mob
bing by fellow passengers because he
cut a feather off a woman’s hat when
it tickl rd him.
MAKES DRAWING OF
A MARINEMONSTER
Second Officer of the Steamship
Corinthian Describes Fifty-
Foot Sea Serpent.
IT CRIED LIKE BABY
Declares He Located Creature Off the
Grand Banks, Near Where Titanic
Sank —Had Bonny Blue Eyes and
Neck Twenty Feet Long.
London. —Surely it would have been
a mistake for the “silly” season to
pass without its sea serpent. Down ai
the Surrey Docks is a man who has
not only seen a fearful and wonderful
marine monster, but has even
sketched it from life.
It is not exactly the sea serpent ol
hoary tradition, but a sort of sea
giraffe—an extraordinary looking am
phibious animal which is puzzling the
zoologists who have heard of it and
seen the drawing.
Some idea of this weird freak may
be gathered from this first hand de
scription of it: “Has bonny blue eyes;
cries like a baby; neck twenty feet
long; body fifty feet; big head with
long ears and snout; three horned
fins adorn its bony head; two big
flapping fins; skin like a seal; brown
ish yellow in color, with pretty dark
spots.”
A plain, commonsense seaman, who
tells his story bluntly, without any
frills or trimmings, Second Officer G;,
Bachelor of the steamship Corinthian,
describing his strange adventure with
the sea giraffe, said:
“We were bound from London to
Montreal, and it was my turn on
watch on the bridge in the early
morning of August 30. It was cold
and the gray dawn was just break
ing, when, as I was keeping my eye
straight ahead on our course, 1
picked up a queer-looking object about
a mile ahead. It disappeared, and as
quickly it shot up again no more than
200 feet away from the ship.
“I distinctly saw It rise out of the
water. First, there was a big head,
with long ears and long snout, and
bulging blue eyes that were mild and
liquid. Then there was a neck—no
end of a neck —and it swayed with
the wash of the waves. What it was
I couldn’t guess, for in twenty years
of sea-going, including trips in trop
ical waters, I’ve never seen anything
like this sea giraffe that was staring
right at the Corinthian.
“As the thing seemed to eye me it
lashed the water with its big front
fins. Then it suddenly dived and dis
appeared, at the same time giving an
odd little wail like a baby’s cry. You .
wouldn’t think such a huge animal
could have had such a small voice.
“As soon as I went off duty I went
below and made a sketch of the mon
ster in India ink. When the Corin
thian reached Montreal my sketch
was shown to Prof. F. E. Lloyd of Mc-
Gill university, an expert in zoology.
The professor said that whatever It
was, it wasn’t a serpent, but a sea
“Seemed to Eye Me."
mammal. It was certainly built on
high speed lines, and its finlike pro
tuberance was well adopted for run
ning things up.
“I located this sea giraffe In lati
tude 47 degrees 51 minutes north and
longiture 48 degrees 32 minutes west,
off the Grand Banks, and not many
miles distant from the spot where the
Titanic V'ent down. I am inclined to
think myself that the wreck of the
Titanic has had something to do with
the presence of this strange creature
in water where nothing of the kind
has ever been noticed before. Is it
making flood of the dead bodies be
low?”
Mr. Bachelor made the gruesome
suggestion in all seriousness. He was
evidently impressed with the absolute
accuracy f~t his observations.
Mr. Bachelor, it may be added, is a
canny Scot, and his view is that there
may still bh mote survivors of an al
most extinct race of sea beasts. Any- j
way, zoologists are not unacquainted
with an “amphibious or aquatic rep
tile” called the sauraptergia, which
curiously resembles the description
of what Mr. Bachelor saw.
Baby Dedicated as Missionary.
New York.—Herbert P. Glover, the
year-old son of Dr. R. H. Glover, who
is stationed as a missionary in Central
China, was dedicated as a missionary
to the orient at the annual mission
ary rally of the Gospel Tabernack
here.
Girl Menaces Life of Tormentor.
Yonkers, N. Y. —Miss Alice O’Neill
was arrested and fined $25 for draw
ing a revolver and threatening to
shoot Edward Connors when he made
fun of her slit skirt as she was walk
[ ing through the main thoroughfare i
| here.
UTTERLY CRUSHED.
It was a warm, radiant summer
morning; the birds werS singing
sweetly, the flowers and dewy grass
shimmered in the park, Robert Peeler
—a very junior officer —was doing his
utmost to make a fovorable impression
on the pretty nursemaid, whilst the
latter’s small charge busily chased
elusive butterflies.
“Ah,” sighed the dashing Robert, “I
wish you were my governess?”
“So do I,” replied the girl.
Hope sprang into Robert’s heart.
“And what would you do with me?”
he asked.
“Stop you smoking cigarettes, and
get your hair cut —to say nothing of
punishing you for talking nonsense
during school hours!”
Then Robert ponderously continued
on his beat.
PROVED.
The Professor —Do you think, sir,
that it is possible to extract gold from
sea water?
The Prosperous Friend —Ha! Ha! I
know it. I run a seaside hotel.
Not Like Stage Types.
I summered on a farm. Good land,
Was disappointed quite!
The hired man couldn’t yodel, and
The milkmaid was a fright.
Quicker Method.
A somewhat choleric gentleman,
Whil§ waiting for his train, entered a
barber’s shop to be shaved. The bar
ber was very deliberate in his move
ments and the slow manner in which
he applied the lather got upon the
shavee’s nerves. At laet his patience
gave way and he roared out: “Here!
for heaven’s sake hold the brush still
and I’ll wiggle my head.”
Thoughtless Thunderbolt
“George; you certainly will have to
complain about the poor telephone
service.”
"What’s the matter now? Neigh
bors butting in?”
"No. The lightning broke down
one of the telephone poles, and I
couldn’t get Ella Brinkley for nearly
an hour!”
Practical Wife. ,
“Wife, this is our wedding anniver
sary.”
“So it is.”
"As a matter of sentiment, I shall
bring home a bunch of flowers to
night.”
. "Never mind the sentiment, Henry.
Bring home some limburger cheese.”
He Had Considered It.
She —It’s a wonder you wouldn’t
take a notion to use soap and wa
ter.
He—l have thought of it, mum, but
there’s so many kinds of soap, and
it’s so hard to tell which is and which
is not injurious to the skin, that I
didn’t like to take any risks. —Puck.
TOO ILL TO LOOK WELL.
Mrs. Goodhart —Couldn’t find work.
Perhaps you didn’t look well.
Dusty Rhodes —No, mum, I didn’t
look well—because I was ill.
A Mermaid.
She had a very winsome smile,
A figure rather trim;
And though she’d never walked a mile
She sure knew how to swim.
The Necessity.
“There is a man always getting me
to make engagements with him, and
he certainly gets on my nerves.”
“Then why do you make engage
ments with him?”
“Because I have to. He’s my dent
ist.”
Interested Motives.
The Hen —See how the people
praise me as a great national insti
tution. j
The Duck —Pshaw! That is only
to egg you on.
Stung!
Mrs. Styles—The doctor said that I
must take plenty of exercise. He ad
vised me to do a lot of walking.
Mr. Stylus—Sensible advice! I hope
you will follow it.
Mrs. Stylus—Yes. But I need a new
walking dress.—Judge.
Safety in Ignorance.
Exceptions.
“Is it wrong to pack juries?”
“Certainly.”
“But how about one of these trunk
murder trials?"
Professional Criticism.
At a banquet of New York news
• paper men recently a story was told to
; exemplify the pride which every man
; should take in the work by which he
• makes a living.
i Two street sweepers, seated on a
i curbstone, were discussing a comrade
! who had died the day before.
I “Bill certainly was a good sweeper,”
said one. “Ye-e-s,” conceded the other,
; thoughtfully. “But—don’t you think
he was a little weak around the
lampposts ?"-—Everybody’s Magazine.
Most Likely.
Liteleigh—lt was an unfortunate
[ think the devil tempted Eve in the
; form of a serpent,
i Biteleigh—ln what way?
Liteleigh—Well, if he had approach
-1 ed her in the form of a mouse, Adam
would never have tasted that apple.—
Puck.
What She Wanted.
“I am afraid, madam, we have shown
you all our stock; but we could pro
cure more from our factory.”
“Well, perhaps you’d better. You
nee, I want something of a neater
pattern and quite small —just a little
square for my bird cage.”—Punch.
Begin at Home.
“What do the suffragettes want,
anyhow?”
“We want to sweep the country,
dad.”
“Well, don’t despise small begin
nings. Suppose you made a start with
the dining room, my dear?”
Business Blocked.
“Thought you were going away to
day.”
"Couldn’t buy a ticket.”
“Nonsense. The ticket office 1*
never closed.”
“No; but there was a girl at the
window ahead of me.”
An Oversight.
"My home for cats is not a success.
I have provided good food, nice sleep
ing quarters, and yet the cats are not
happy.”
“You are shy on amusement fea
tures, old man. You haven’t provid
ed any baclT fence.”
CORRECT.
zx
“Yes, I an building a beautiful
house for my son.”
“Ah! I sort of heir-castle.”
Noisy Eating.
This eating celery is rough.
It takes a dainty girl perforce,
To masticate the pesky stuff
And not remind you of a horse.
Had Eight Left.
"Science is much excited over the
fact that an experimenter killed a cat
and then made its organs live for
hours.”
“Then science must be stupid. Of
course, the experimenter only took
one of the cat’s lives.”
Agriculture Simplified.
“Most of the vegetables we have
been getting are canned,” said the
summer boarder.
“Yes,” replied Farmer Corntossel,
“I’ve tried gardening with a hoe and
with a can opener. And give me the
can opener.”
Slightly Mixed.
“You were at the commencement?”
“I was.”
"And how did you like my graduat
ing essay?”
“Well, to tell you the truth, Irene,
I didn’t like the way it fit you over
the hips.”
Thing to Do.
"That pretended diamond merchant
who got off so easily in the investiga
tion was simply a ‘fence.’ ”
“Possibly that was why they white
washed him.”
Too Successful.
“Don’t let that lady archer go In
our pasture with that red hat on.”
"Why not?”
“She might hit the bull’s eye with
it.”
Mean Doubt.
Mamie—You know I’m so good
natured I hate to refuse a man, so I
feel like accepting anybody who asks
me.
Katie—That’s not good nature;
that’s desperation.
Painful Moment.
Mother (sternly)—Young man, I
want to know just how serious are
your intentions toward my daughter?
j Daughter’s Voice (somewhat agitat
ed) —Mamma! Mamma! He’s nof
the one! —Puck. i
Extraordinary.
“He’s an extraordinary chap.”
“I never noticed anything unusual
about him.”
“Haven’t you? Well, I have. For
one thing he never claimed to have
just missed taking the train that way
wrecked.” —Detroit Free Press.
A Dilemma.
“If drink is a disease, it really can’t
be cured, you know.”
“Why not?”
“Because, whatever else you do,
you have to treat the patient.”