BAN INTO A BIG
SCHOOL OF SHARKS
Sea Captain’s Ta? of Thrilling
Escape From Monster Man
New e'ork. —Capt. James J. Clarke
of the steamship Advance brought his
ship to port from the isthmus the
other morning and unfolded a thrill
ing tale of sharks in the tropic sea.
Captain Clarke has figured in many
moving incidents in those southern
waters. In 1908, when he captained
the Colon, he brought the ship and
her 500 passengers safely through a
terrific tropical storm, simply by sail
ing into the geographical center of the
storm. There is a lot more, but the
shark story is the best as well as the
freshest of the lot.
Well, stranger, Captain Clarke was
a-sailing a small boat away out in
Paddled Ashore on His Overturned
Limon bay at four o’clock in the after
noon. That was about the time the
sharks had finished their siestas and
were thinking of lunch.
The captain sailed and sailed and
these sharks looked at the gathering
clouds and smiled and smiled and
stuck around. Suddenly a squall hit
the small boat and capsized it, hurling
Captain Clarke into the water as the
police slip said.
The captain weighs 200 pounds and
as he climbed astraddle of the center
hoard he regretted that he had flaunt
ed the fact in the faces of those who
might now be expected to make the
usual slurs about fat men.
The captain discovered that he had
run into 'an inter-oceanic convention of
sharks. They grinned and mowed,
and flicked water on him until he was
..goaded to desperation and beyond. If
Captain Clarke did draw' his knife
and slit the impertinent noses of ever
so many of his tormentors one must
allow that they brought it upon them
A native who was batting about the
bay in a cayuca saw what Captain
Clarke was doing and had compassion
on the sharks. He put out to restrain
the captain. The best way, of course,
was to get hold of Clarke and take
Mm ashore. But the cayuca was so
frail that the native could not get the
Mg sailorman into it. So he gave the
captain a paddle and reminded him of
tbre cock fight that was coming off
Slack of Celestino Reyes’ cantina in
Then the captain paddled ashore on
his overturned boat. And if those
sharks ever bite again it w'ill be with
SEEDY LOOKING, BUT OH MYI
IRebukes Fresh Clerk Who Asks:
“How Much Do You Want, 35
San Francisco, Cal. —Trailing a
iieavy, soiled canvas sack, a seedy
iooking individual, whose name is
withheld, sauntered into County Treas
urer McDougald’s office and asked if
j-he bonds recently voted to extend
Sau Francisco’s municipal railway had
placed on sale. A youthful clerk
waited on the stranger.
“Yep," said the clerk, sizing up his
cjuestioner. ‘How much do you want,
about 36 cents’ worth?”
The man slammed his sack down on
Site table. Then he began stacking up
:|3O gold pieces.
“1 reckon, young feller,” he said,
“That I want about $25,000 worth, but
.3 vYon’t do business with you.”
Treasurer McDougald closed the
Jeal within fifteen minutes.
“Now if you w'ill turn over to me
about $1,000,000 worth more, 1 will
Jake them. I have application on file
now for that amount."
‘All right," said McDougald; "call
around Tuesday and get them."
MOPS ON THE CISTERN LID
Would Show His Wife That the Cover
Was Perfectly Safe, Then
Fetoskey, Mich.—Mrs. V. R. Wade
told her hubby, who is manager of a
local telegraph office, that he had bet
ter repair the board cover to their cis
“What?” shouted Wade. “Why, I
Just put that cover down the other
lay. It’s new.’’
“But,” protested his wife, "the
boards are rotten. Your father step-
Sjotl on them the other day and they
.-racked. First thing you know some
*jbild will be drowned there."
“Bosh! I’ll show you that cover Is
safe,’’ said Wade, and jumped on the
fwards over the well.
A good, warm - fire in the kitchen
JboYO finally dried him out, but that
Wouldn’t heal the wound in his right
'fend the result of a nail ripping him
as’ he was “going down.”
Mrs. Wade said “I told you so.”
Mr. Wade’s remarks are omitted.
V— —L v*- - Ttrf- AS**.'i.V
HOLD UP * TRAIN; j
Bold Bandits Stopped the Ex
press All Right, but Missed
MEMORY’S LOSS FATAL
Explosive, Most Important Item in
Train Robbers’ Equipment, Lay a
Mile Away When Time Came to
Blow Up the Safe.
Homostake, Mont. —Residents of
this town are laughing over the dis
comfiture of three bold bandits, who,
after holding up a train and preparing
to dynamite the express car safe, dis
covered that the explosive had been
left behind. Firing a few shots to
convince the chuckling engineer and
fireman that they were real brigands,
despite their poor memories, the men
rode off into the forests to hide their
The train holdup itself was of the
regular frontier order. The denoue
ment, however, proved the greatest
farce ever enacted in that robber
ridden region of pioneer days. In the
tall grass a mile and a half west of
Homestake, the bandits had deposited
half a wagonload of paraphernalia
when no one was looking. There were
torpedoes, masks and automatic pis
tols, but most important of all, dyna
Equipped as they thought for final
action, the men awaited the arrival of
a limited train on the Northern Paci
fic. Torpedoes were exploded at the
opportune time. When the engineer j
and fireman blithely Skipped down the
locomotive step the robbers were there
to meet them and give orders. With
in a minute the express car was un
coupled from the rest of the train and
with masked bandits aboard, the loco
motive was run through the tunnel.
Four hundred feet beyond the tunnel
exit, the highwayman chief com
manded the engineer to stop. The or
der was obeyed aid the engineer
turned to face his “superior officer.”
By the light of the firebox he saw
the bandit was perplexed.
“What’s the matter, boss?” he
asked. Ignoring the inquiry, the rob
“l’ve Forgotten the Dynamite.’
her chieftain said to his confederates:
“I’ve forgotten the dynamite; it s back
with the train.”
“Tee hee,” twittered the engineer.
“A fine specimen you are,” said the
fireman. “We’ll go back and get it for
“Make ’em run back,” said one rob
ber, but his chief objected. "Every
body in those cars will be awaiting
with cannons,” he said. "The job’s
off boys.” So the bootyless trio took
to their horses and rode disconsolately
GAVE SELF AWAY SALUTING
Deserter Suddenly Awakened by a
Policeman Stood at Attention
St. Louis, Mo. —In the angle of an
alley Patrolman Collins and McClean
found a young man lying sound asleep
at four a. m.
"Poor devil," said Collins, “guess
"Yes," said McClean, “hard luck;
must he pretty chilly on the ground.
Let’s wake him up and see If we can’t
find him a better place to sleep."
One of the policemen shook the
sleeper gently. The man awoke in
stantly, leaped to his feet, saluted in
soldier fashion and stood at atten
"Huh!” ejaculated Collins. “Where’s
“My—what?” asked the awakened
man, rubbing his eyes.
"Your uniform," replied the officer;
“your soldier's uniform. You're a sol
“How do you know I’m a soldier?”
asked the man.
“Because you saluted. You must
have been dreaming that the captain
of your company came along. Hey?”
“I’m no soldier,” protested the man.
“Well, then you have been one —
you gave yourself away," said Mc-
The man denied at first that he ever
had been in the army, but after close
questioning he confessed that he was
a deserter. He said he deserted from
Fort Bliss, Tex., in March, 1912. He
gave his name as Edward T. Dunigan
and his age as thirty. He was locked
up at Central Police station, to be
delivered to the army officers.
Philadelphia.-—Four surgeons in the
University of Pennsylvania were in
dicted by the October grand jury,
j charged with unnecessary cruelty to
I dogs in ‘ experimental work.
TIGER AND HIPPO IN
BATTLE TO DEATH
Two Natural Enemies Stage
Fight Never Before Known
on Western Hemisphere.
St. Joseph, La. —On the banks of a
swollen southern bayou two natural
enemies of the jungles of the far east
staged a battle the other day which
never before was known on the west
No one witnessed the encounter,
hut posses of citizens led by attaches
of a circus, searching this and other
counties for a tiger and a hippopota
mus, escaped from the circus menag
erie, came upon the battleground.
The tiger was found floating on the
bayou, dead, its body nearly a pulp,
and for a distance of a hundred yards
The Fight Raged for Hours.
along the water's edge the ground and
small trees were torn up. The water
of the bayou was discolored with
blood. On the opposite bank the trail
of the hippo was picked up again. It
had been the victor, but at a terrible
cost, for blood followed its every step.
The fight must have raged for hoars.
Each animal had bled profusely and
the hippo must have been near ex
haustion when it forced the tiger into
the water and drowned it
Many negro residents in the neigh
borhood of St. Joseph were fleeing in
terror to the city, fearing the hippo
w r ould kill them and destroy their
homes. They know the alligator, but
a hippo is too strange a beast for them
to chance as a neighbor.
SHE CLUCKS AS SHE SLEEPS
If This Nice Girl Were a Hen It Would
Be the Proper
Los Angeles, Cal. —The case of little
Anna Samaroff at the children's hos
pital has baffled not only the nurses,
but physicians who attend that insti
tution. in the daytime Annie is just
as hale and hearty as can be, but be
fore she has been asleep five minutes
she Is clucking like a hen.
Hour after hour Annie, apparently
sleeping peacefully, will be heard ut
tering indescribable sounds, which are
best conveyed as a monotonous “cluck,
cluck, cluck.” The night nurse, whose
attention was first drawn to Annie's
peculiarity, reported the matter to
Miss Vannier, superintendent of the
children’s hospital, and it was then
brought to the attention of the house
physicians. For several nights follow
ing this discovery a careful watch was
maintained over Annie, and every
night the monotonous clucking would
be repeated' before the girl had been
asleep five minutes.
She does not say the word chick,
but actually makes the same sound in
her throat that a hen makes. Her
mother was questioned 'upon her last
Visit to the hospital as to whether she
could give any reason why Annie
might have had this habit “tbrast upon
her.” Mrs. Samaroff, however, could
remember no circumstances that
would lead to such a mysterious habit,
and stated that she had not observed
the clucking noise until after her
daughter had been returned home
from the county hospital, where she
had been sent to have a broken leg
DIG UP ELEPHANT’S BONES
Must Have Been Twenty Feet High—
Animal’s Tusks Are Eighteen
Los Angels, Cal.—Further details of
the greatest discovery of prehistoric
animal remains made in Southern Cal
ifornia since the finding of the first
saber-tooth tiger skeleton have been
made public by F. S. Daggett, director
of the County Historical museum in
Exposition park. The bones of a gi
gantic imperial elephant, the largest
of the species In past or present
times, were discovered 24 feet below
the surface at Athens-on-the-Hill, and
are being unearthed by a crew of mi
ners engaged by the county museum.
Some idea of the gigantic propor
tions of this enormous beast may be
gained by the fact that the tusks
which are being uncovered are 18 feet
long and more than ten inches in dia
meter at their greatest thickness. One
seven-foot section of a tusk already
raised to the surface weighs nearly
400 pounds. The animal alive must
have stood more than twenty feet In
height, and have weighed as much as
half a dozen modern elephants.
The longest tusk known to science
is now' in a museum in the City oi
Mexico. It is seven inches in diameter
or a third smaller than the massivt
tusks now being taken out by the
Two Weeks Old, Entertains.
New York. —Because little Frances
Kerr, aged tw r o weeks, had a head o
black curley hair, weighed ten pound'
and had two teeth, her mother had tr
have a party to entertain the curious.
THE FROSTBURG SPIRIT, FROSTBURG, MD
HARD TO PLEASE.
A typical “mover” of the ultra-shift
less type -was passing a few days at a
20w camp in Arizona, preparatory to
going into the desert on a prospecting
trip. His wife, a tired out, faded out
creature, complained to some of the
cowhands of the hardness of her lot;
and the foreman took it upon himself
to remonstrate with the husband for
his shiftlessness and his indifference
to his wife’s welfare.
“The old woman ain’t got no kick
coming!” said the husband when he
had heard the foreman’s remarks. “She
ain’t got no kick at all. Why, etranger,
when we wuz fixin’ to camp of a night
many a time I’ve driven the team half
a mile out of the way so’s wood and
water would be handy fur the old
woman to fetch!”—Saturday Evening
JUST THE THING.
“Here’s a dime, Willie. Go buy
“Thanks. I’ll buy an engagement
ring fer me goil.”
I like to kiss a pretty miss
Whose nose is retrousse.
That kind of nose, with tilted pose,
Is never In the way.
Stranger (returning to the old
home town after an absence of twen
ty years)—Well, well, well; how lit
tle the village has changed. You re
member Red Splivvins we boys used
to run around with —is Red still liv
ing here yet?
Native —Is he? Well, I guess. Hey,
Baldy! Baldy Splivvins! Don’t you
know your old friends when you see
’em? Come over here and shake
hands with Sam Hankins from New
He Almost Knew.
"Ruggles, you used to work on a
farm, didn’t you?”
“Yes; I grew up on a farm.”
“Then you can tell me what 1 want
to know. Which side do you milk a
“Well, it’s either the right or the
left, I can’t remember which,”
The Real Feminine Power.
“So you don’t approve of those Lon
“I don’t know much about them,”
replied Miss Cayenne, “but I can’t
help feeling that a woman who can’t
subdue a few men without the use of
dynamite is something of a failure.”
A Sensitive Editor.
“Well, what do you think of my
“How could you be so cruel?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why, in every line you have tor
tured the English language until I can
almost imagine that I hear it cry out.”
TOO GREAT A RISK.
The Guide —Now, ez soon ez I kin
borry a dorg we’ll be ready for your
The Amateur Sport—Why, what’s
the matter with your own dog?
The Guide —Oh! he’s too valuable!
An Aerial Navy.
The Swiss have long made ii their boast
No need of ships without a coast.
But airships make a change, we vow,
And they will need a navy now.
Her Pet Pug.
“Won’t you weigh my dog?” said
The druggist reluctantly arranged
his scales and reached for the canine.
“I want to see if he gained any
thing while he -was away,” explained
Giles —My wife can drive nails like
Miles —You don’t mean it.
Giles —Sure, I do. Lightning, you
know, seldom strikes twice in the
Proof of It.
“Do you think the classics help
“Yes, indeed. I threw a volume of
Cicero’s orations at a cat once and
got a good night’s rest.”
“Good-morning, ma-am. May I ask
if your husband is at home?"
“Perhaps you can tell me what I
want to know. Is he carrying any life
“Is his life insured? Is that what
“It is, sir. But don’t make the mis
take of thinking he’s doing the carry
ing of the same. I’m doing that my
self. And I’m carrying all he’s worth
Missed the Boat.
“Your ancestors did not come over
in the Mayflower!” snapped the tali,
spare, thin-lipped Miss Hester Plym
“No,” and Alias Ananias rubbed
his chubby hands together, while an
oily smirk spread over his fullmoon
phiz. "You see, it was this a-way.
The old man forgot to wind up the
alarm clock and so missed the boat.”
He Reproaches Her.
He—You upbraid me for losing
money on the races —you?
She —And why should I not?
He —Yet I recall one blissful mo
ment, not so long ago, when we stood
together beneath the silent stars, and
you said that no stroke of adverse
fortune could ever draw from your
lips one complaining word. —Puck.
“And you really once saw a prince?”
“Oh!” she exclaimed, clasping her
hands and gazing with awe into the
eyes that had looked upon royalty,
“what was he doing?”
“Trying to balance a chair on his
chin to amuse a chorus girl.”—Judge.
Strong Presumptive Evidence.
Man With the Bulging Brow —You
think I go across the street too often,
hey? What put that notion in your
Man With the Bulbous Nose—You're
always chawin’ some kind o’ perfumed
HIS MAIL MOSTLY BILLS.
Willie —Say, papa, where does ah
the mail come from?
Papa—Mostly from people you owe
“Her Name Is Legion.”
She’s the prettiest maiden
That ever was born.
Her lips are a rose
And her tongue is its thorn.
Izaak —Oh, hang it, Mary, I forgot
Mary—Do you suppose the fish
would notice the difference if you
were to use spaghetti?—Judge.
The Impecunious Artist.
“I wish you to paint me a picture
of Eve and the apple.”
“Could you advance me the price
of a costume?” faltered the artist.
“Why, Eve had no complicated cos
“That’s so. Well, could you advance
me the price of the apple?”
An Acceptable Excuse.
“I am so embarrassed when among
fashionable ladies,” declared Mrs.
“I don’t smoke.”
“That needn’t lose you any caste.
Tell the other ladies that your doctor
“Woman, you are undone!” hissed
her rival in the amateur play.
“Oh, where?” cried the heroine, try
ing to get a look at the back of her
“He is always dead in earnest.”
“That accounts for his grave ex
Putting It Differently.
“Miss Wombat, will you be mine?”
The young man was jarred but not
wholly discouraged. Presently he came
back in this fashion:
“Well, will you let me be yours?”
“Ah! I’m glad to get this sonnet!”
exclaimed the editor.
“Has it any merit?” asked his as
“Not at all, but a stamp was just
what I needed. The poet sends two.”
“Mrs. Dobbs says she believes every
thing Mr. Dobbs tells her.”
“Well, that’s not surprising. ‘Yes,
my dear,’ is about all he ever gets a
chance to say to her.”
Mr. Flatbush (desperately)—An
toinette, the air in these rooms is sim
Mrs. Flatbush (wearily))—Bridget
must have opened the window to the
1 air shaft! —Puck.
PORTUGAL NOT LIKE SPAIN
Wonderful Country With Most Salu
brious Climate in Europe—Cold
at Lisbon Unknown.
New York. —It is more than prob
able that he will need to disabuse his
mind in the first instance of the idea
that Portugal is merely Spain in min
iature, Charles L. Freeston writes in
Scribner’s. As a matter of fact, there
is little kinship between the two. On
paper the languages of the two coun
tries bear considerable similarity, but
the pronunciation of Portuguese dif
fers so materially from the Spanish
that no advantage of convenience ac
crues from a knowledge of the latter
tongue. In all other aspects, more
over, everything about Portugal and
the Portuguese is distinctive to an
absolute degree; the most jaded trav
eler, indeed, will find there a fresh
in the Portuguese Hills.
ness of aspect, in one direction or
another, for which he will assuredly
be wholly unprepared. Need it be
said that this of Itself is paramount
as an attraction?
Almost unlimited is the list of char
acteristic features for any one of
which the country is worth visiting;
and each in its way is so important
that priority of mention must be en
tirely fortuitous. Before descending
from the general to the particular one
may attempt a summary of these as
follows, but with the premise that
they might be given in any other
The climate is the. most wonderful
in Europe. A polyglot crowd of
scores of thousands flies annually to
the Riviera from every part in Eu
rope in order to enjoy the supposed
maximum of sunshine, but often to
be undeceived by weeping skies, and
with the cruel mistral as a certain
ty. At Lisbon, on the other hand,
cold weather as understood elsewhere
is literally unknown; the temperature
is not only higher than that of the
Riviera, but is equable to a degree
that almost defies itself. What this
means in practical effect is illustrat
ed by the fact that, in March last, I
met an English lady on board ship
who had stayed sijc weeks at Mont
'Estoril, near Lisbon, and had bathed
in the sea every day in February!
Nor was the season exceptionally
YOUNG BOY OF TEN A SLEUTH
Son of Police Chief Has Caused Ar
rest of Many Thieves in Bir
Birmingham, Ala. —Only ten years
of age, Daniel Allen Badeker, son of
Chief of Police Badeker of Birming
ham, is a clever amateur detective.
He has caused the arrest of all sorts
of offenders, mostly thieves of various
sorts, leading to the recovery of not
less than SIO,OOO worth of stolen
goods. Car robbers, bicycle thieves
and shoplifters have come to grief
through him. He is also the terror
of blind tigers.
Ever since he was five years old.
When his father was chief of the Bir
mingham secret service department,
he has been much around police head
quarters, and before he was seven
years old he manifested analytical
powers, and on occasions gave the de
tectives useful “tips.” Sometimes his
father or others carried him along in
working up cases.
He became known among the men
as “assistant chief” after his father
was elected chief of police. Two
years ago he donned the full uniform,
including cap and gold band, gloves
and leggins, and was, given special
officer’s badge 53. Joining the mount
ed police squadron, he appears regu
larly on his Shetland pony at the
head of police escorts at all public
parades. He is a skilful horseman.
“I want dad’s job,” Dan says. “To
wear his badge is my ambition.”
SCHOOL STRIKE FOR “COP”
Cleveland City Hall is Stormed Fol
lowing Death of Girl at Trolley
Cleveland. —Pupils of Outhwaite
school, near which Rachel Greenberg,
a pupil, was killed by a car, stormed
the city hall and demanded that Mayor
Baker have a patrolman stationed at
the street-car crossing. There were
300 pupils in the procession. They re
fused to attend classes until the cross
ing is protected.
Accordingly Chief of Police Rowe
stationed a patrolman at the crossing
to look after the children. Parents
said they would keep their children
from school until they were sure that
the crossing policeman is a permanent
OWL DROWNS IN FOUNTAIN
White House Employe Finds Dead
Body of Bird Entangled Among
Washington.—Workmen at the
White House found a big horned owl
dead in one of the fountains in the
White House grounds. The bird be
came entangled in the water lilies
while presumably foraging for fish,
and was drowned.
William Strauss, employed in the
White House kitchen, Intends to
mount the bird and give it to Presi
dent Wilson. The owl’s legs were
cut and torn in his struggle to free
himself from the lilies.
Owls are often heard in the White
House trees at night, but this is the
first one seen for a long time.
Pain hi Back and Rheumatism
are the daily torment of thousands. To. ef
fectually cure these troubles you must re
move the cause. Foley Kidney Pills begin
to work for you from the first dose, and ex
ert so direct and beneficial an action in the
kidneys and bladder that the pain and tor
ment of kidney trouble soon disappears.
SURE PREVENTIVE FROM HOB CHOLERA
Bend now 11.60 postal order lor package to R. CROFT,
Corlogton, Miami Co., o. Money back if preventive fails.
THOUGHT HIM TOO STRENUOUS
Evidently There Are Points About
Athletic Game That Are New
to Mrs. Casey.
Mrs. Casey was proud of her strong,
muscular son, and still more proud of
him when he went into a gymnasium
and made himself locally famous.
Then one day a rumor reached her
ears which she didn’t like, and when
Michael came home that night she
proceeded to take him to task.
“Look here, Mike Casey, what’s
this I’m hearing about yer doin’s at
the gymnasium? Don’t ye know it’s
poor we are, an’ havin’ no money to
pay for yer destructive carryin’ on?”
“Why, what do ye mean, mither?”
asked the astonished Mike.
“Ain’t they sayin’ all over town
that ye have broke two of their best
records down there?” she howled. —
The fool is apt to believe everything
Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces inflamma
tion,allays pain,cures wind colic ,25c a bottle. Adv
One way to acquire a striking per
sonality is to become a chronic bor
The most effective, yet simplest remedy
for coughs is Dean’s Mentholated Cough
Drops—sc at Drug Stores.
‘Why do they call the men who run
“Because they’re in the push.”
“All things travel in cycles.”
“Yes, and in this age, particularly
“That girl has a cutting manner.”
“I think she’s killing.”—Baltimore
“You can have no suggestion of what
a cyclone is like.”
“Oh, yes, I can. My wife’s cleaning
The Eternal Feminine.
“Don’t buy any of those comforts.
You don’t need them.”
“I know; but they are all marked
“The railroads killed 10,585 people
in this country last year,” observed
the old fogy.
“How did the automobiles come to
miss that many?” queried the grouch. -- ,
“What will the effect of the pres
ent legislature be?”
“Well,” replied Senator Sorghum;
“out my way it has already just about
broken up the fence-mending indus
When the three children returned
from their walk, says Punch, they
found their mother waiting for them
on the porch.
Mother—Well, dears, did you meet
anyone you knew?
The Three Children —Yes; Ruby
Mother —Where did you meet them?
Barbara (the youngest)—At the
same place we was.
Quelching the Assessor.
The assessor was doing the very
best he could, but the farmer was
shrewd and wary.
“How many acres of farming land
have you?” he inquired, wearily.
“ ’Bout twenty, I guess,” said Reu
“Twenty! Why, it looks to me like
nearer 120. Come, now, can’t you in
crease that a little? There are sure
ly more than twenty acres in that
tract. Suppose you stretch that a lit
“Say, feller,” said the farmer, “this
ain’t no rubber plantation.”
Toasted to a
Sounds “smacking good,"
Tender thin bits of the best
parts of Indian Com, perfectly
cooked at the factory, and
ready to eat direct from the
package fresh, crisp and
There’s a delicate sweet
ness about “Toasties” that
make them the favorite flaked
cereal at thousands of break
fast tables daily.
Post Toasties with cream
and a sprinkling of sugar—
Easy to serve
Sold by Grocers everywhere
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