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Laughing Stock and Joke It Takes Exception to Some Things Printed in The Spirit and the Lonaconing Advocate. Cumberland’s journalistic joke, sometimes referred to as The Cum berland Press, takes exception to a few thing's that recently appeared in this paper and in the Eonaconing Ad vocate. We are pleased to reproduce what the great aggregation of head lines had to say about us, and we hand the same to our readers in the form of exhibits Nos. 1, 2 and 3. Exhibit No. 1. Editor Eivengood, of the Frost burg Spirit, seems offended at The Press because it gave some other than a Frostburger credit with be ing the tallest man. He goes af ter us in away that shows that he knows no more of political affairs than what he learned under the ring machine in Pennsylvania. Probably the “hog combine.” The Press is mistaken. The Spirit was not in the least offended. The Spirit never gets offended at a mere nothing, and The Press, as a daily newspaper, is about as near nothing as a daily paper can be. Besides, the article The Press complains of was not a political article, hence our polit ical knowledge cannot be judged by it. As for the. “ring machine in Penn sylvania” which The Press refers to, it would be a fine thing for our old native state of Maryland if it had the very kind of a “ring machine” that has controlled the politics of Penn sylvania for a good many years. Pennsylvania has prospered greatly under its so-called “ring machine,” and the Keystone State has a state government as far ahead of that of our own state and most of the other states as a locomotive is ahead of an ox team. Of course, there are several “ring machines” in Pennsylvania, just as there are in most of the other states, but it didn’t take the people of the great Keystone State very long to undo their mistake of placing Bill Flynn’s Bull Moose “ring machine” in power, and the same fake reform machine also seems to be in bad odor in Maryland since the great broncho buster and meadow-spread dispenser, T. R., failed to get the coveted third term. The Pennsylvania hog combine was the Bill Flynn machine, and we never belonged to that. Exhibit No. 2. The Frostburg Spirit and the Eonaconing Advocate are up in arms over live bird shooting matches in the county, terming thosr that engage in the sport “moral degenerates. ’ ’ While we do not believe such shooing matches should be countenanced, we do not believe that the men who en gage in the sport is any woyse than the ordinary hunter, for he too, shoots down “God’s dumb and innocent creatures.” No, you “do not believe such shoot ing matches should be countenanced,” but you are apologizing for the moral degenerates who participate in live pigeon shooting matches by saying that you do not believe “that the men who engage in the sport is any worse than the ordinary, hunter,” etc., etc. Well, you are entitled to another belief, in spite of the peculiar gram mar you use in the construction of your last sentence. True it is that hunters sometimes cripple when they mean to kill, but who ever heard of hunters first catch ing wild birds or other game and in flicting cruel torture on them before shooting to kill, such as jabbing pins into their eyes and otherwise tortur ing them to make them do certain peculiar stunts in flying, as is resort ed to at live pigeon shoots? No inten tional torture is inflicted upon wild game by hunters, as the gunner in the woods shoots to kill a mess of edible game. He does not first pro cure the game and fiendishly torture it before the killing, as is done at live pigeon shoots. Neither does he ex hibit his skill as a butcher to the public for gate receipts, or to win a wager, thereby catering to the idle curiosity and betting proclivities of men, and fostering their cruel in stincts. Once again we say, let the officers of the law get busy, do their duty and stop such barbarous sports as live pigeon shooting, cock and dog fight ing, etc. What we need in this locality is a good law and order league with a well organized vigilance committee. Exhibit No. 3. And what Editor Eivengood, of the Frostburg Spirit, don’t know about politics would fill a volume of books. Right you are, sonny, right you are, although your word “don’t,” which means “do not,” is expressing your meaning very awkwardly. But we’ll admit that our lack of knowledge con cerning politics would fill “a volume of books,” but there are others, sonny, there are others, and you are one of them. But, on the other hand, what we do know about politics and politicians, would also fill a “volume of books.” But we do not know it all, neither in politics nor in anything else. Teddy Roaring Roosevelt is the only man that is all-wise and all good, but there are times when we suspicion that even he has feet of clay, and that the great idol has been smitten on them and is beginning to crumble. Our own knowledge is limited, but we believe it will at least measure up with that of Charley McDermott, and furthermore, we are learning a little every day, and we shall continue to hand the public the gospel according to Peter. Eet the band play. REV. GEO. T. HANNA, B. D. i Cheerful Letter From a Chicago Parson Who Wants Satan to Be Kept Bound. The Rev. Geo. T. Hanna, B. D., of Chicago, a well known brother of our worthy Postmaster Hanna, Policeman Tally Hanna and Postal Clerk Wm. Hanna, recently sent The Spirit a re mittance for a year’s subscription to the home paper. Accompanying his remittance, was a letter containing the following: “We always enjoy reading The Spirit. Will you kindly change our address to 2712 Racine avenue. I was interested in one of the headings in last week’s issue—‘God Will Bind Sa tan.’ We see so much of his activity in Chicago that The Spirit moved me to offer the suggestion that wheH he is bound we use our influence to keep him bound forever.” So may it be, brother Hanna, but this devil-binding business reminds us of a story. Here it is: An old Scotch clergyman, in ad dressing his audience one Sunday morning, told them that according to his observations the dawn of the mil lennium was at hand. “Therefore,” said he, “Your parson is richt here fer to tell ye this bricht Sabbath mornin’ that satan is boond; he is boond, breth ren and sisters, wi a chain aroond his arms; he is boond wi still another chain aroond his laigs, and he is boond wi still another chain aroond his body.” At this juncture he glanced over his audience and saw conspicuously seated in a front pew three members of his fold who had not been leading very exemplary lives. Then, pointing his finger at them one by one, and shaking it vigorously, he said: “But, brother David Jones, regardless of the way that satan is boond, he can still reach you; and brother Isaac Williams, regardless of the way that the diehl is boond, he can still reach you; and brother Abram Duncan, in spite of all the chains aroond the limbs and body of the diehl, he can still reach you.” Then came a voice from an old griz zled and canny Scot in another part of the room, who said: “Brother Par son, do ye nay think the buggar may as well be loose?” If the old Scotch parson was right in his surmises, there would be little use in having satan bound. But if he ever is securely and firmly bound, as the good book says he will be, what will people do for a convenient scape goat to blame their meanness on, or will they cease to be mean? But enongh of the devil, we will return to the original subject, the Rev. Mr. Hanna. Mr. Hanna was born at Allegany, Md., near Frostburg, Jan. 4th, 1878. He was a son of the late Mr. and Mrs. James P. Hanna. The father died in 1884, leaving a widow and eight chil dren, and the subject of this sketch, like his brothers, spent a considerable portion of his youth in the mines. Bv hard work, diligent study and no small amount of self-denial, he managed to get a good education and enter the ministry, at which calling he is mak ing good. The Rev. Mr. Hanna is pastor of the Eake View Congregational church, Chicago, and he is undoubtedly a live wire, for he uses neatly printed adver tising matter to induce the people to attend church, a sample of which was enclosed in his letter, it being a poster attractively printed and worded, and contains photographic reproductions of the good-looking parson and the handsome church edifice over which he presides. More power to the parson who is up to-date and uses printers’ ink, one of the agencies that help any business or profession to which it is properly applied. Come and Bring Your Friends. You are invited to hear Pastor Hoskins, of New York, lecture on “Which is the True Gospel?” in the Frostburg Opera House, Sunday, 7:30 p. m. Seats free. No collection.-Ad. Allegany Cemetery. 2200 LOTS. Prices $9.00 to $22.50. PERPETUAL CHARTER. J. B. Williams, secretary and treasurer. Office: C. & P. Phone: 60 E. Main Street. No. 52. FROSTBURG, MD. 'monument^ DON'T BUY FROM AGENTS OF OTHER FIRMS. The commission they get is added to the price of the work. J.B. WILLIAMS CO., Western Maryland’s Leading Marble and Granite Dealers, 60 East Main Street FROSTBURG, : : MARYLAND. 99 N. Centre Street CUMBERLAND, : : MARYLAND. | FOR THE j 1 Best Fire Insurance j I in the world apply to j X* JB. 4-1 6-pd ~,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, MMM.MM.It "V “Oculum” Cures Sick Chickens AND PRODUCES EGGS! Newtown Giant Colony Brooders and Practical Trap Nests. Poultry Stock Foods and Remedies. Can fill your wants in choice Poultry and Pigeons. Wholesale and Retail. THOMAS L. POPP, FROSTBURG, MD. 8 S. Water St. Opp. PostQffice. Phone 289-K. ■ WM. ENGLE JAS. ENGLE Engle Meat Market DEALERS IN Live Stock and Dressed Meats Butter and Eggs Poultry In Season 66 EAST UNION STREET 17 WEST UNION STREET Let Us Dry-Steam Clean and Press Your Coat, Pants and Test! We do not drive the dirt into the lining of the goods, but force it from the inside out. This process is strictly sanitary. It removes all dirt, raises the nap, renders the garment sterilized like new and not shrink a thread. ladies 9 Coats, Jackets, Skirts, Etc., receive special attention! Shall we call for your next package ? FROSTBURG STEAM LAUNDRY A. S. BURTON, proprietor. THOMAS GATEHOUSE, Justice of the Peace, 4 MECHANIC STREET, FROSTBURG, MD. All business entrusted to me is attended to promptly and satisfactorily. Dr. J. C. Pfeiffer, THE DENTIST, 7E. Union St. Frostburg, Md. Go To — _ SHEA’S DRUG STORE For Pure Fresh Drugs.' Sales Agent for — Eastman Kodaks, Httylers Candies, Rexall Remedies. All Manicure, Toilet & Shaving Sets, Package Per fumery, etc. at COST. We (9 o Green Give O • OC Jt. Trading Stamps. ADDITIONAL CARS —ON C. & W. ELECTRIC RAILWAY. Effective Thursday, January 15, and continuing until further notice, the Cumberland & West ernport Electric Railway will operate cars on a thirty minute schedule between Frostburg and Baltimore street, Cumberland, be tween the hours of three and seven o’clock. Cars will leave Frostburg and Cumberland at 3, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 6 and 6:30 o’clock daily. J. E. TAYLOR, Supt. ENLARGED AND REMODELED Quarters Attest The Merits of .the TRI-STATE BUSINESS COLLEGE Courses of Instruction. A class of competent gradu ates has just gone out to add to the long list from this school. Young man or woman com pleting preliminary school or ' High School work this Spring, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR COMPLETING A ROUNDED OUT EDUCATION? For information, address B. F. Shaffer, President, or Rhea G. Shaffer, Sec’y-Treas. i 32 So. Center St., Cumberland, Md. ! THE FROSTBURG SPIRIT, FROSTBURG, MD. i The First National Bank \ i y ASSETS \ * OF OYER $1,350,000.00 C 4 y The Only Million Dollar Bank y 4 y l INVITES YOU TO BECOME A DEPOSITOR. \ None too Small. None too Large. Jlr J y V T INTEREST PAID ON SAVINGS ACCOUNTS. C i y X WHEN YOU HAVE: ANY | g PLUMBING, HEATING X g OR. | | GAS FITTING | TO BE DONE, GIVE US A CALL. v X X X We Guarantee x | All Our Work X WE HAVE A FEW GAS RANGES Q H we will sell at cost. X X F. J. Nairn ®> Bro. <s c@ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOnnriOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OgOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCXXJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO §§ THE §8 | Fidelity Savings Bank 1 |§ OP PROSTBURGr, MI). §| J “The Reliable Fidelity” 1 §§ Commercial and Sayings 88 88 Accounts Solicited. 88 §§ 3 Oj Q PAID ON SAYINGS ACCOUNTS. §8 oo 88 i 88 8 8 8° 8° 8§ Capital Stock $25,000 §§ §8 Surplus and Undivided Profits . $27,000 §8 §8 Assets . . . $320,000 |o P ’ § 8 88 D. F. McMULLEN, President. 88 G. DUD HOCKING, Treasurer. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooonoonooooooooooooooooooooooo OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCXDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 1 ItAAA Ar A At Ar -At At Ar An At -A- AAnAcAAA AAA -4 jjj 3 > 3 SPECIAL PRICES l 4 ► 4 > i on ► i OVERCOATS and SUITS [ i i i ► 3 at l 4 ► j STEWART’S \ i ► i Home of Good Clothes \ i ► i j* frvwwv W VV WV VVW V V V wv v^ll [p3C3CSS-1.:.-,.,.1 nOL - ,jn mi inni "ir-11 — Reason 5 use l Th c t tr,c ' (A list of 33 reasons was published in The Spirit in December. Now we propose to comment on them U one by one.) / n r DIRTLESS— Oh, pshaw! The “oh!” and dismay and (sometimes disgust) those dirt-making, dirt collecting oil lamps and gas lights— ENOUGH When you think of electric lights. o o FROSTBURG ILLUMINATING & MANUFACTURING CO. IS YOUR HOME WIRED? ( 1 I I=3 q I— inoi inoPLH lonr Printing done nt The Spirit office is always of the first quality and the price is always right.