Laughing Stock and Joke
It Takes Exception to Some Things
Printed in The Spirit and the
Cumberland’s journalistic joke,
sometimes referred to as The Cum
berland Press, takes exception to a
few thing's that recently appeared in
this paper and in the Eonaconing Ad
vocate. We are pleased to reproduce
what the great aggregation of head
lines had to say about us, and we
hand the same to our readers in the
form of exhibits Nos. 1, 2 and 3.
Exhibit No. 1.
Editor Eivengood, of the Frost
burg Spirit, seems offended at The
Press because it gave some other
than a Frostburger credit with be
ing the tallest man. He goes af
ter us in away that shows that he
knows no more of political affairs
than what he learned under the
ring machine in Pennsylvania.
Probably the “hog combine.”
The Press is mistaken. The Spirit
was not in the least offended. The
Spirit never gets offended at a mere
nothing, and The Press, as a daily
newspaper, is about as near nothing
as a daily paper can be. Besides, the
article The Press complains of was
not a political article, hence our polit
ical knowledge cannot be judged by
As for the. “ring machine in Penn
sylvania” which The Press refers to,
it would be a fine thing for our old
native state of Maryland if it had the
very kind of a “ring machine” that
has controlled the politics of Penn
sylvania for a good many years.
Pennsylvania has prospered greatly
under its so-called “ring machine,”
and the Keystone State has a state
government as far ahead of that of
our own state and most of the other
states as a locomotive is ahead of an
Of course, there are several “ring
machines” in Pennsylvania, just as
there are in most of the other states,
but it didn’t take the people of the
great Keystone State very long to
undo their mistake of placing Bill
Flynn’s Bull Moose “ring machine”
in power, and the same fake reform
machine also seems to be in bad odor
in Maryland since the great broncho
buster and meadow-spread dispenser,
T. R., failed to get the coveted third
The Pennsylvania hog combine
was the Bill Flynn machine, and we
never belonged to that.
Exhibit No. 2.
The Frostburg Spirit and the
Eonaconing Advocate are up in
arms over live bird shooting
matches in the county, terming
thosr that engage in the sport
“moral degenerates. ’ ’ While we do
not believe such shooing matches
should be countenanced, we do
not believe that the men who en
gage in the sport is any woyse
than the ordinary hunter, for he
too, shoots down “God’s dumb
and innocent creatures.”
No, you “do not believe such shoot
ing matches should be countenanced,”
but you are apologizing for the moral
degenerates who participate in live
pigeon shooting matches by saying
that you do not believe “that the men
who engage in the sport is any worse
than the ordinary, hunter,” etc., etc.
Well, you are entitled to another
belief, in spite of the peculiar gram
mar you use in the construction of
your last sentence.
True it is that hunters sometimes
cripple when they mean to kill, but
who ever heard of hunters first catch
ing wild birds or other game and in
flicting cruel torture on them before
shooting to kill, such as jabbing pins
into their eyes and otherwise tortur
ing them to make them do certain
peculiar stunts in flying, as is resort
ed to at live pigeon shoots? No inten
tional torture is inflicted upon wild
game by hunters, as the gunner in
the woods shoots to kill a mess of
edible game. He does not first pro
cure the game and fiendishly torture
it before the killing, as is done at live
pigeon shoots. Neither does he ex
hibit his skill as a butcher to the
public for gate receipts, or to win a
wager, thereby catering to the idle
curiosity and betting proclivities of
men, and fostering their cruel in
Once again we say, let the officers
of the law get busy, do their duty and
stop such barbarous sports as live
pigeon shooting, cock and dog fight
ing, etc. What we need in this locality
is a good law and order league with
a well organized vigilance committee.
Exhibit No. 3.
And what Editor Eivengood, of
the Frostburg Spirit, don’t know
about politics would fill a volume
Right you are, sonny, right you are,
although your word “don’t,” which
means “do not,” is expressing your
meaning very awkwardly. But we’ll
admit that our lack of knowledge con
cerning politics would fill “a volume
of books,” but there are others, sonny,
there are others, and you are one of
But, on the other hand, what we do
know about politics and politicians,
would also fill a “volume of books.”
But we do not know it all, neither in
politics nor in anything else. Teddy
Roaring Roosevelt is the only man
that is all-wise and all good, but there
are times when we suspicion that even
he has feet of clay, and that the great
idol has been smitten on them and is
beginning to crumble.
Our own knowledge is limited, but
we believe it will at least measure up
with that of Charley McDermott, and
furthermore, we are learning a little
every day, and we shall continue to
hand the public the gospel according
Eet the band play.
REV. GEO. T. HANNA, B. D.
i Cheerful Letter From a Chicago
Parson Who Wants Satan
to Be Kept Bound.
The Rev. Geo. T. Hanna, B. D., of
Chicago, a well known brother of our
worthy Postmaster Hanna, Policeman
Tally Hanna and Postal Clerk Wm.
Hanna, recently sent The Spirit a re
mittance for a year’s subscription to
the home paper. Accompanying his
remittance, was a letter containing
“We always enjoy reading The
Spirit. Will you kindly change our
address to 2712 Racine avenue. I was
interested in one of the headings in
last week’s issue—‘God Will Bind Sa
tan.’ We see so much of his activity
in Chicago that The Spirit moved me
to offer the suggestion that wheH he is
bound we use our influence to keep
him bound forever.”
So may it be, brother Hanna, but
this devil-binding business reminds
us of a story. Here it is:
An old Scotch clergyman, in ad
dressing his audience one Sunday
morning, told them that according to
his observations the dawn of the mil
lennium was at hand. “Therefore,”
said he, “Your parson is richt here fer
to tell ye this bricht Sabbath mornin’
that satan is boond; he is boond, breth
ren and sisters, wi a chain aroond his
arms; he is boond wi still another chain
aroond his laigs, and he is boond wi
still another chain aroond his body.”
At this juncture he glanced over
his audience and saw conspicuously
seated in a front pew three members
of his fold who had not been leading
very exemplary lives. Then, pointing
his finger at them one by one, and
shaking it vigorously, he said: “But,
brother David Jones, regardless of
the way that satan is boond, he can
still reach you; and brother Isaac
Williams, regardless of the way that
the diehl is boond, he can still reach
you; and brother Abram Duncan, in
spite of all the chains aroond the
limbs and body of the diehl, he can
still reach you.”
Then came a voice from an old griz
zled and canny Scot in another part
of the room, who said: “Brother Par
son, do ye nay think the buggar may
as well be loose?”
If the old Scotch parson was right
in his surmises, there would be little
use in having satan bound. But if he
ever is securely and firmly bound, as
the good book says he will be, what
will people do for a convenient scape
goat to blame their meanness on, or
will they cease to be mean? But
enongh of the devil, we will return to
the original subject, the Rev. Mr.
Mr. Hanna was born at Allegany,
Md., near Frostburg, Jan. 4th, 1878.
He was a son of the late Mr. and Mrs.
James P. Hanna. The father died in
1884, leaving a widow and eight chil
dren, and the subject of this sketch,
like his brothers, spent a considerable
portion of his youth in the mines. Bv
hard work, diligent study and no small
amount of self-denial, he managed to
get a good education and enter the
ministry, at which calling he is mak
The Rev. Mr. Hanna is pastor of
the Eake View Congregational church,
Chicago, and he is undoubtedly a live
wire, for he uses neatly printed adver
tising matter to induce the people to
attend church, a sample of which was
enclosed in his letter, it being a poster
attractively printed and worded, and
contains photographic reproductions
of the good-looking parson and the
handsome church edifice over which
More power to the parson who is up
to-date and uses printers’ ink, one of
the agencies that help any business
or profession to which it is properly
Come and Bring Your Friends.
You are invited to hear Pastor
Hoskins, of New York, lecture on
“Which is the True Gospel?” in the
Frostburg Opera House, Sunday, 7:30
p. m. Seats free. No collection.-Ad.
Prices $9.00 to $22.50.
J. B. Williams,
secretary and treasurer.
Office: C. & P. Phone:
60 E. Main Street. No. 52.
DON'T BUY FROM AGENTS
OF OTHER FIRMS.
The commission they get is
added to the price of the
J.B. WILLIAMS CO.,
Western Maryland’s Leading
Marble and Granite Dealers,
60 East Main Street
FROSTBURG, : : MARYLAND.
99 N. Centre Street
CUMBERLAND, : : MARYLAND.
| FOR THE j
1 Best Fire Insurance j
I in the world apply to j
4-1 6-pd ~,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, MMM.MM.It
“Oculum” Cures Sick Chickens
AND PRODUCES EGGS!
Newtown Giant Colony Brooders and
Practical Trap Nests.
Poultry Stock Foods and Remedies.
Can fill your wants in choice Poultry
Wholesale and Retail.
THOMAS L. POPP,
8 S. Water St. Opp. PostQffice.
■ WM. ENGLE JAS. ENGLE
Engle Meat Market
Live Stock and
Butter and Eggs
Poultry In Season
66 EAST UNION STREET
17 WEST UNION STREET
Let Us Dry-Steam Clean
and Press Your Coat,
Pants and Test!
We do not drive the dirt into the lining of
the goods, but force it from the inside out.
This process is strictly sanitary. It removes
all dirt, raises the nap, renders the garment
sterilized like new and not shrink a thread.
ladies 9 Coats, Jackets, Skirts, Etc.,
receive special attention!
Shall we call for your next package ?
FROSTBURG STEAM LAUNDRY
A. S. BURTON, proprietor.
Justice of the Peace,
4 MECHANIC STREET,
All business entrusted to me is attended to
promptly and satisfactorily.
Dr. J. C. Pfeiffer,
7E. Union St. Frostburg, Md.
Go To — _
SHEA’S DRUG STORE
For Pure Fresh Drugs.'
Sales Agent for —
All Manicure, Toilet &
Shaving Sets, Package Per
fumery, etc. at COST.
We (9 o Green
Give O • OC Jt. Trading Stamps.
C. & W. ELECTRIC RAILWAY.
Effective Thursday, January 15,
and continuing until further
notice, the Cumberland & West
ernport Electric Railway will
operate cars on a thirty minute
schedule between Frostburg and
Baltimore street, Cumberland, be
tween the hours of three and
Cars will leave Frostburg and
Cumberland at 3, 3:30, 4, 4:30,
5, 5:30, 6 and 6:30 o’clock daily.
J. E. TAYLOR, Supt.
ENLARGED AND REMODELED
The Merits of .the
Courses of Instruction.
A class of competent gradu
ates has just gone out to add to
the long list from this school.
Young man or woman com
pleting preliminary school or
' High School work this Spring,
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS
FOR COMPLETING A
ROUNDED OUT EDUCATION?
For information, address
B. F. Shaffer,
or Rhea G. Shaffer,
32 So. Center St., Cumberland, Md. !
THE FROSTBURG SPIRIT, FROSTBURG, MD.
i The First National Bank \
* OF OYER $1,350,000.00 C
Million Dollar Bank y
l INVITES YOU TO BECOME A DEPOSITOR. \
None too Small. None too Large. Jlr
T INTEREST PAID ON SAVINGS ACCOUNTS. C
X WHEN YOU HAVE: ANY |
g PLUMBING, HEATING X
g OR. |
| GAS FITTING |
TO BE DONE, GIVE US A CALL. v
X We Guarantee x
| All Our Work
X WE HAVE A FEW GAS RANGES Q
H we will sell at cost.
F. J. Nairn ®> Bro. <s [email protected]
§§ THE §8
| Fidelity Savings Bank 1
|§ OP PROSTBURGr, MI). §|
J “The Reliable Fidelity” 1
§§ Commercial and Sayings 88
88 Accounts Solicited. 88
§§ 3 Oj Q PAID ON SAYINGS ACCOUNTS. §8
oo 88 i
88 8 8
8§ Capital Stock $25,000 §§
§8 Surplus and Undivided Profits . $27,000 §8
§8 Assets . . . $320,000 |o
P ’ § 8
88 D. F. McMULLEN, President. 88
G. DUD HOCKING, Treasurer.
ItAAA Ar A At Ar -At At Ar An At -A- AAnAcAAA AAA -4 jjj
3 SPECIAL PRICES l
i on ►
i OVERCOATS and SUITS [
3 at l
j STEWART’S \
i Home of Good Clothes \
frvwwv W VV WV VVW V V V wv v^ll
[p3C3CSS-1.:.-,.,.1 nOL - ,jn mi inni "ir-11 —
Reason 5 use l Th c t tr,c '
(A list of 33 reasons was published in The Spirit
in December. Now we propose to comment on them
U one by one.) /
Oh, pshaw! The “oh!” and dismay and
(sometimes disgust) those dirt-making, dirt
collecting oil lamps and gas lights—
When you think of electric lights.
ILLUMINATING & MANUFACTURING CO.
IS YOUR HOME WIRED?
( 1 I
I=3 q I— inoi inoPLH lonr
Printing done nt The Spirit office is always of the first quality
and the price is always right.
xml | txt