Newspaper Page Text
.-.Y r" NEW MOXHEBHUBJgABD. An a Mother Hubbard bonnet^ With a most bewitching poke. One Horning meta curly dog He w*»of medium size— His eara wfre drooped, his tail was'linift •i' And the tears stood in his eyes. i*. Said Folly to the curly dog: .. "Why do you look so-sad?" "Because," replied he, with a sniff "The times are very bad. "You see," said he, "the streets are full Of little Mother Hnbbards, .Battboagh I've waggel my tail most off, TJLey never speak of cupboards."_ Said Polly Betsey: "Come with me. «s Twould melt a heart of stone! I'll give yail lots of bread and milk, Ana a juicy mutton-bone." She took him home and fed him well His tears were turned to laughter And now, whereyecJBoll-y-goes, *Thfc Kirly dog trots after. —St. Nicholas. THE LITTLE SAMARITAN. Mie3 Mary Jane Ham stood in front oi the imposing brick building used as the school of Rifletown, with an un opened letter, just banded lier by the parsing carrier, in her band. Miss Mary 3$ne bad her little peculiarities, hqr Jffilte and her foibles, her likes and her «nslikes, as what woman has not, or man .cither, for that matter? but Miss Mary Jane's own crowning dislike, which ^embittered her whole soul, as much as it'was impossible to embitter so sweet and sunny a soul, was her hatred for her name. The man of Ham could not be helped it was the paternal patronymic it belonged to the unfortu nate son of Noah but why should her ynother aggravate the matter by adding the plebeian Mary Jane? There were hundreds of feminine appellatives that were quite as inexpensive and that would have added some grace to the in evitable Ilam. "Without petition the general court, Mary Jaue managed to lighten in a small way .grievance. Her friends called her. Jennie. She signed her name in fault- v,less chirography, as became a Massa chusetts school ma'am, M. Jennie Ham she liad.faith that, in the" near fa ^re some fabltlesa young man would endow her with a name far more en durable than the one her father had left lier and- which was all she. had ever re ceived from him. It was, therefore, hvith a'sort of shudder that she read the superscription, which ran, in bold busi ness like letters, across the envelope: "Miss Mary J. Ham, Rifletown, Mass." The post mark for once not blotted over, was Chicago the writer who? M. Jennie .had jio acquaintance in that famous western city, and onlj' by dint of hard -vthinking did it occur to her that her mother's eldest brother, John Rivers lived therey but he was reputed to be of 1 tunense wealth, and very likely he had never heard of lier existence. She tore open' the envelope and read: "My dpn niece: I expect the reception of this letter will cause you some surprise, -and the reading of it more. I am your mo ver's eldest brother. When I first came to jiicago I used to correspond with your pother but, as the years slipped away, somehow oui* letters grew more and more infrequent and finally ceased entirely. Then your dear mother died, and in the heatofmoney getting I lost all traces of my Eastern relatives. Latterly, I must con fess from selfish motives, I have been look ing them up.- I am getting old. My wife is aea I have no child. I need a home. -You Biust know that business men frequent ly suffer great reverses. I bave written to eaph of my nephews and nieces much as I have written to you. My letters liavq ruost remained unanswered or, if answered, furnished but a cold comfort. Will you take pity on as old man? I await your an swer with intense interest, Your uncle, JOHN RIVERS." M, Jennie slowly folded the letter, left an orphan at an early age, without a relative to claim her, and had won her Tway onlv by indefatigable industry and 'v* grit. First, ae a sewing girl going from house to house, she had saved money 'Wcnough -to fit herself for teaching she Mid toiled'night and day, and within (be past tWelve months she had obtained a situation in the Rifletown high school, A salary of $700 per annum. She liked Laintv things booKS and pictures, soft, yhwuing carpets, and pretty furniture. She had a woman's longings for delicate laces and fine linens and crispy silks and "/toft cashmeres, and, recently, in a very .small way/she had commenced to revel vjn the!^possession. She had even, aur •rA-ing her coming vacation. contemplated a vvisit to the White Hill, and over maps and in the dulcet panes of Starr King, in imagination had floated over the bright watera of the Winnipiseogee and' ,drank in the beauties of the Pemigewas set, the Saco and the Androscoggin val leys .and here, in the face of these, long cherished anticipations, wds a letter asking charity. M. Jennie had a tender heart. Her struggles with poverty had left no cal louses on it. Her mind went reluctant ly back tQ.''those old, unpleasant days and then reverted to uncle John. He had been wealthy and now he had no home he .was old, his wif«» was dead, lie was her dead mother's brother, and ie needed some one to care for him. i! well. Hj&r. lif©7 ffo far, had been MO? repression why not let it con sul. so J.t.o the end? And after all, is there not sometimes as much pleasure in the denial as well as in the gratifica tion of a wish? Long before sho reached her home ^Jennie had come to a decision. The littlo brown'cottage must accommodate .... one more. With a friend of her sewing days she had rented a little cottage on a Sack street, and thus satisfied the in tense longings of her heart for home. Her arrangements were soon com pie ted, and the next day the mail carried an answer to Uncle John. ':I, too," .%he wrote, "have known what it is to 7 have no home and the one have to offer yon may s&dly disappoint you but will try my best tp make it pleasant for you.- Your room is ready, and with my warmest welcome, waits you* coming." A week later an express wagon landed an old man, with a battered trunk, on the d'oorstep of the little brown cottage. 4 It^chanced.tobe on a Saturday, when Jennie had cno school duties, and the cordial words with which she welcomed J, 'Uncle John were interrupted by a kiss on tfio-oid man's'cheek, which the lac tor did not fail to repay. From under a.pair of bushy eyebrows there peered out two keen, sagacious gray eyes, which „taok in every look and movement of the iji^le schoolma'am. •. "You dearhttle Samaritan!" he cried, of ail my relatives, alone consent- soft hand was placed over the old man's mouth. J'Hushl Uncle John," she said. "You come as my honored guest, and you are to make no Samaritan references tome." Then she introduced him.to her coin pan ion, showed him through the little brown cottage, and, with many a tug .2frand little cry, helped him carry the old, battered trunk up the winding stairway.. The task accomplished, she proceeded to store its contents in laoltless order in the bureau provided for the purpose. "So-like your^mother in her girlish' days,"(Said. Uncle John, interrupting her jn her work toindulge inone more good, long look. "And, what, untold, posses sions fthd pleasures do VQU deny your- selfforthesake of giving an old man a Miiome?" "Ah! Uncle John, "she answered wnth a merry laugh, '*my life has had so many JSt. denials, that a few more or less are of lit tle eonsequence. And, besides, I have found, with Ihe German. Lessing, that the seekitig the pleasures of thie^drsuit anticipation is -greater thah. the W" «^?'And are' deep in the Germans, not let their Haeckels and iiuehners ydur.faiUfcMf. .. enthey&fc doivn and took a men ge of other. From German iphy they drifted to poetrjr, from ito history, from.-histoijr :to science. /J-, "UnM.' ifohnijas not. fpuhd bu^in^ abeorDing-thathSHaiSvnottaken time read, Pe*h«« y* dewtaon^ booi8 ^^KBied himlb|Pl,J'rlhOiWhpJennie.|f 'The Htti^Sstoagitsn fau not allowed John- wa8 sthe master of the house, so genially had he fitted into the lives of the two girls. Left mostly to himself, liis companions absent at their dail tasks, he became-absorbed in the chemical mysteries of the kitchen. It is said that Dumas the elder was the best cook in France. Un'cle John did credit to his short experience in culinary aftairs. When the contents of Jennie's little book case became too familiar, the pub lic library was at hanJ and alter an early tea in the soft June twilight, Uncle John would read to the two girls, and he read with that appreciative feeling which made it a real pleasure to listen to him. Two months swiftty sped nwayand the school year drew to its close. iVachera and scholars were alike dispersed, and Jennie had settled down for the hot summer months in the little brown cot tage. It had not been so hard as she anticipated. Uucle John had prove# such a pleasant companion, and, though, from the coming, she had been com pelled to forego a few personal luxuries She did not really regret them. She was sitting in the little parlor, the shades mostly down, to £eep out the hot July sunshine,, herself in" keeping with dainty yet inexpensive furnishings which surrounded her,4vhen Uncle John entered, carrying an open letter and ex claiming: "In luck, in luck, at last, little girl. Here is one of my old customers, who has long been indebted to me and from whom I never expected to realize penny, at last taken pity on me and sent me a draft for $o(X). "Come little girl," and Uncle John snateDed some article of sewing from her hands and threw it into the corner, "no more work with the needle this hot weather. Pack your boxes and we will away to the White hills. I know you would have made this journey if I.had not come, and now, with Sue. and myself as baggage master, we will see for ourselves now much of truth and how much of poetry there is in the Starr King." It was needless for Jennie to indulge in remonstrance. She could not tell Uncle John it would be much better to put the money aside, against further contingencies, without causing him to feel that his presence was a burden to her and so it was arranged that the White hills should be visited. Uncle John at once put himself in the hand of a tailor. Was it Jennie's imagi nation, or did the perfectlv fitting clothes, and the possession of a well filled purse, make a difference in Uncle John's personal bearing? He certainly had little difficulty in assuming the pol ished and courtly bearing that comes from mingling with the best of humani ty, and the two cirls grew to be very proud of their escort. The pert hotel clerks, the obsequious waiters, semed to know that they had to do with a man of the worjd, and every-where the best rooms, the choicest service was exacted and .rendered. Before starting Uncle John admonished his companions: Now, little girls," he said, "we are to consider this five hundred dollar? as so much manna dropped into our mouths, 1 know that you, Jennie, have an unex- Eis ressed idea that the old pauper," (here mouth was suddenly covered with a little white hand.) "Well, then, that your Uncle John might better put it aside, against the unknown demands of the future but I want to take one more journey, and I don't want any thoughts of the past or fears for the future to mar its pleasures. In days agone, (More for tunate? Well, as regards companions, certainly not more fortunate), 1 used to take long journeys, and I know all the ins and outs of travel. Now yon, little girls, are not to worry, not even about yfiur baggage. I carry the checks and the pocket book, and for once I am go ing to play the autocrat. I have pnt fifty dollars one side for the fare home. When the balance is spent, we will come back to Rifletown, and, well, we will hotie that many more of my delinquent cuitomers will remember me." And so they started. They went to Springfield and up to the Connecticut. They stopped at Northampton that Jen nie might visit the female college there they passed a charming day at Brattle bo ro they loitered everywhere. At Have rill they engaged an open carriage, drawn by a span of black horses that made light of mountain road. They put np at cross road hotels, and, tu tored by Uncle John, the girls drew from the clear mountain streams many a speck led beauty. Finally they reached the enchanted iand, and thenit transpired that this was not Uncle John's first visit. He was familiar with every desirable drive, not even Starr King knew better the best points for studying the charm ing scenery. And then Jennie discov ered new treasures in her pauper uncle. If he was fairly familiar with every branch of. literature, he was equally at home with the feral life of field and for est. He read the formation in the con tour of the hills he named the birds from listening to their songs not a flow er on the'mountains or in the meadows was unknown. And so the wseks sped by in happy content. From the White lulls they drifted to Portsmouth they sailed out to the Appledorc they staid several days at the big hotel, and Jennie delight ed her eyes. with a good long look at Celia Thaxter. They stopped at Neav buryport, rode along within sight of tne Merrimack, passed the house on the is land which shelters Mrs. Spofford and her sister and in a little side street, leading oft'the long, rambling thorough fare of Amesbury, found the home of the Quaker poet. By and by they reached the Hub, stopping at the Bruns wick, and Uucle John seemed as fami liar with Boston, as with the White hills A week passed, and still the five hun dred dollars held out and Jennie began to think the purse that held it was like the one so famous in myth. At last Au gust drew near its close they had been away from home seven weeks Jennie's school would soon recommence, and Sue's customers begin to think of fall styles. Was not the five hundred spent? Once John drew along face. "Little girls, what must be, must be," said, "though there is still money in he the purse. What a pity we cannot keep on to the end just as we are, with.no thought of schools or the cutting of dresses." "It would be nice, I must confess," assented Jennie. "This trip has almost spoilt me, though I have seen the White hills, and now! want to see beyond the Atlantic. 1 have had one good outing, at any rate, if I never have another and I am ready to go back to the little brown cottage and take up my work once more." It was almost dark when the parlor car which contained them, (Uncle John's extravagance holding out to the end,) drew up at Rifletown station. As they alighted, a superb cama.e, drawn by magnificent black ftbrses, stood waiting, and a servant in livery touched his bat obsequiously to Uncle John, and opened the carriage door for the party to enter. "Come, Uncle John, let us walk,"said Jennie. "We know the streets of Rifle town well enough not to miss our way, and I am sure tne. money is all gone by this, time." "Just enough left to pay the carriage hire," laughed Uncle John. "Jump in, girls, let's Wind up our outing royally." The servant had already loaded in their bundles, the driver had difficulty in holding the impatient horses, and Jennie And Sue and Uncle John were finally, in the carriage, and away they .went with a dash. Finally th§ carriage stopped before a stately gateway, illumined by two bril liant gaslights, and the door was opened by the obsequious footman. "Why, Uncle, the driver has made a mistake. This is not home," said Jen nie, looking nut. Not home?" said Uncle John getting out on to the sidewalk. "Yes, this is home or, itit is not we will walk the rest of the way." Jennie laughed her merry laugh. This home? Why,, this was the Locusts, the grandest mansion in Rifletown. Many a tim« had she looked admiringly at its broad velvet lawns, its masses of bloom ing flowers, its rare and beautiful trees, its winding walks, its statues, its rows of greenhouses and graperies. Uncle John 'was getthi: facetious The fdrls got out, the footman touched his hat, mounted by the side Of the driver, who, without waiting for his feer drove away... "Come, girls, let usj?o up and look at ie mansion. Perhaps, after all, it is the the A little brown cottage made over- by the wish ot'some modern Aladdin,' Uucle John. Again Jennie laughed." "V "Why. Uncle John, has coming home turned -your head? If we.should go and asktojookitfrthe mansioii, -they, would send for the police." "Sendffor the police? Hardly as- bad as that, Jennie. ^Afc an?*ate I -have, a call to i^e|„ Come Up theWalk*B little k^ncle Johtatook hiscomjj^lonseach of the mansion. Turning to the right lie swung open a door, and motionec -his companions to enter. As Jennie did so, she uttered an exclamation of de light. She had entered her ideal of library. The room was flooded with soft, mellow light. Shelving, fringed with bright leather, stamped in gold extended to the ceiling on which re- Einding, osed rows and rows of books in dainty fragrant Russia, polished, shin ing calf, scarlet and green, and blue mo rocco. Huge folios of engravings were in their appropriate rests. Easy chairs were everywhere, and there was every appliance for literary ease or study. "My dear child," said Uncle John, taking Jennie in his arms and kissing her tenderly, "this is the little prown cot tage, after all. This is nome. And yet what I wrote you is true. I had no home, no wife, no child but had hun dreds of thousands in money. Business men meet with reverses: but I am not one of the unfortunate. I wrote to all of my relatives. You alone responded you alone offered the supposed pauper a home. Had I come to you with all my wealth, you could not have cared for me more tenderly. Henceforth you are no longer my niece you are myowndaugh ter. I have legally adopted you. You are Jennie Rivers. And, Sue," turning to the astonished girl -"is also to share £our home. She may come as house* keeper, or as your companion and hon ored guest." Ana so Jennie.laid aside her old cares and worries and even the name of'Ham. '•Jieyond the Atlantic" was no longer un attainable. Her life of oppression only fitted her for the keener and truer en joyment of the new life, and as poverty had never dashed her 6unny temper, so richess failed to change her. This episode in the life of Jennie Riv ers seems like romance but, for once, truth and poetic justice were in accord. A Tenderfoot at Tombstone. From the Middletown Transcript. A few days ago a flash young man from an eastern college arrived at Tomb stone, Arizona, and registered his rame at the principal hotel. A sociably in clined person in a blue shirt and wide rimmed hat, who chanced to be in the office, good-naturedly answered every question and volunteered a vast amount of interesting information about Arizona in general and Tombstone in particular. Do you see them lulls?" asked the Tombstoner, pointing through one of the office windows. "Well, them hills is chock lull of pay dirt." The young man from the east looked shocked. "My dear sir," he said, proudly, but kindly, "you should say those hills ate —not, 'them hills isl' The Tombstoner was silent for.a mo ment. He looked the young man from the east critically, over as if he was esti mating the size of coffin he would wear. Then drawing out an ivory-stocked sev en shooter ofelaborate style and finish, he said in a soft, mild, musical tone of voice that sounded like a wild-wood, brook coursingo'er its pebble bed: "My gentle unsaltea tenderioot from the land of the rising sun, this here's a pint that you and me disagrees on and we might as well have it settled right now. I have not looked in a ^rammer lately, butl think 'them hills is' is correct, land I'm going to stand by that opinion while I've got a shot left. I'll give you jest three min utes to think calmly over the subject, for you probably spoke in haste the first time, and then I'll hear your decision." The young man from the east looked down the delicately-chased barrel of the revolver into the placid depths of the eye of the Tombstoner and began to feel that many points in grammar are un certain ~and liable to grow more so. Then he thought of the coroner's in uest and of the verdict, "came to his eath by standing in front of Colorado Tom's seven-shooter," and of the long pine box going east by express with $69 charges ,on it, and before half the three minutes was up he was ready to acknow ledge his error. "Since he had thought it over calmly," he said, "he believed that 'them hills is,' is right. He bad spoken on the spur of the moment," he added, "and begged a thousand pardons for his presumptuous effort to substitute bad grammar for good." The Tombstoner forgave him freely, and, grasping his handmaid: I know'd you'd say you was wrong after you thought a moment. I admire a man who gives ght in without argu ing when he kwow's he's wrong. Come along and irrigate." And they irrigated. LOVE'S LABOR LOST. Why No Coaxing of Cup Id Can Make Young New Yorkers Marry. New York Letter in the Washington Star. The expenses of living here are con tinually increasing, and already the num ber of men who are able to support a fair daughter of fashion in anything like the styles to which she has been accus tomed is comparatively small. By able I mean that a man bo the possessor of an assured income of at least 15,000 a year in order to make his wife mistress of an establishment such as will enable her to at all keep up her social position. I ought to have said double that sum, for With house rent, to begin with, at the lowest $2,000, and there are few houses in good neighborhoods which can be got for that sum, $5,000 will be but genteel poverty. Even with an income of $10,000 a year a reception a Delmon ica's, costing $1,600 and perhaps $2,000, in addition to expensive dinner parties, $5,000 yearly for cab hire. Worth gowns, etc., etc., cannot be given more than once in a life time. Out-of-town people who continue to be happy on as many hundreds a vear cannot perhans understand why it should cost ten times that amount to render life endurable in New York and may maintain that "go ing into society'' is not an essential to happiness. But consider the case of the young man of the period who has an income of say $3,000. On such a salary he can belong to several fashionable clubs, give a few theatre parties in the course of the win ter, spend a portion of «the summer at Newport or Saratoga and be considered of consequence enough to be invited to balls and dinnerparties in the houses of the "best," people all the vear around. His marriage, of course, would change all that. If a married pair can barely keep in society on $5,000 a year, of course marriage on not much more than half that would be social ostracism. People in New York who do not entertain are not invited to other people's entertain ments, and an income of only $3,000 would only permit of living in a 'flat, npt large .enough to entertain in. even if one cquld afford to do so. Can the young man of the period, therefore, be ex pected to give up ,his pleasant life for one whicn wonld lack all that makes his present lifelenjoyable? flow the Fast Powder Train Ban Toward Antietam Battle-Gtound At the battle of Antietam Mb Clellan'f ammunition ran short. A train was dis patched from Baltimore via the North rn Central Railway to Harrisburg, thence via Cumberland Valley Railroad to Hagerstown, Md., which was within a few miles of the front. The engineer of this ammunition train had orders to ran to Hagerstown as quickly as his engine would do it. Sounding -a few quick whistles, and the tram dashed through the startled towns of the Cumberland Valley, sweeping the surface of the ground clear of leaves and dirt along the track. It seemed to, be travelling in a whirlwind of dust and smoke. .1 saw it whirl chickens, which were close to the. track, around-and dash them awayasii a cyclone had 'struck them. The train reached Hagerstown in safety where the freight was quickly transferred to army wagons, and soon the ballets were "tickling the seconds" and the shells booming in Lee-'s front. The Rev. T. De Witt Talmage spoke of this incident in one of his sermons, sayiifc: The amuaunition at Antietam had Sown lven oof A train went thundering to ward the battlefield. It stopped not lor any crossing they pat down brakes,for no grade they held ap for no peril the wheels were on fire with speed as they dashed by. If the train did not come ttp in time with the ammunition thfr battle might be lost. Tne New Lord. New York Times.—That xennyson fthonld receive a title Is from an English point at view,, eminently proper* With the "title /that he has actoaUy chosen, however^ there has ^eqn some'disatK pointment- It w*s rrappoeed thst .he WAtild be Mainly Lor^ Teniqriptt bat it and associating himself with his utterly uninteresting country home. Aid worth. D'Eyncourt is an extremely poetical name,- bat what has it to do with Ten nyson. It reminds one of Smith-Beau champ, or Brown-Montague. Had Dickens been made a baron he would hardly have called himself Lord Dick ens-De Belville of Gadshill, nor would Victor Hugo be anxious to be known as Barn Hugo-Tom-Jim-Jack ofSousnare, however characteristically English he might consider snch a title. Tennyson might readily have made up an attractive title by looking over his own volumes of poetry. If he would insist upon parting his name in the mid die be might haye calied himself Lord Tennyson-Vere de Vere of Locksley Hall. Much simpler and more attract ive would have been the title Lord Ten' nyson of the Moated Grange, or Tenny son of the Palace of Art. Or he might have dropped the Tennyson altogether and styled himself Baron Merlin, or Baron Waterproof of the Cock, or Baron Enoch of Arden, or Baron Galahad of Audley Court. Had he written to Vas sar College for suggestions he would have received by return of mail ascot of utterlv precious titles. As Lord Ten nyson-D' Eyncourt of Aldworth he is decidedly over-sparred in point .of title, and his future poetry will not command entire confidence. THAT AWFULLY BAD BOY. And How He Plays It on the Fears or a Deceived Parent, Peck's Milwaukee Sun. I guess your pa's losses in the silver mine has made him crazy, htven't they," said the grocery man to the bac boy, as he came in the store with hie eye winkers singed off, and powder marks on his face, and began to play on the harmonica, as he sat down on the end of a stick of stove wood and bal anced himself. Oh, I guess not. He has hedged He got in with a deacon of another church, and sold some of his stock to him, and pa savs if I keep my com demn mouth shut he will unload the whole of it, if the church holds out. He goes to anew church every night there is a prayer meeting, and makes ma go with him, to give him tone, and after meeting she talks with the sisters about how to piece a silk bed quilt, while pa gets in his work selling silver stock. I don't know what he will order some more stock from the factory, if he sells all he has got," and the boy went on playing "There's a Land that is lairer han Day." "But what was he skipping up street for the other night with his hat off, grab bing at his coat tails as though they were on fire? I thought I never saw a pussy man run any faster. And what was the celebration down on your street about that time? I thought the world was com Ing to an end," and the grocery man kept away from the boy. for fear he woald explode. "O, that was only a renian scare Wotliin' serious. You see pais a sort c. half Englishman. He claims to be an American citizen, whe!n he wan of. 3ce, but when thev talk about a draft be claims to be a subject of Great Britain, and he saya they can't touch him. Pa is a darned smart man, and don't you for get it. There don't any of them get ahead of pa much. Well, pa has said a good deal about the wicked Fenians, and that they ought to be pulled, and all that, and when I read the story in the papers about the explosion in the Brit ish parliament pa was hot. He said tho damerish was ruining the whole world. He didn't say it at the table orour hired girl would have knocked him silly with a spoonful of mashed potatoes^ cause she's a nirish girl, and she can lick any Englishman in this town. Pa said there ought to have been somebody there to have taken that bomb and throwed it in the sewer before it exploded. He said if he ever should see a bomb he should grab it right up and throw it away where it wouldn't hurt anybody. Pa has me read the papers to him nights, 'cause his eyes have got splinters in .'em, and after I had read all there was in tne paper I made up a lot more and pretended to read it, aoout how' it was rumored that the Fenian3 here in Milwaukee were ?oing to place dynamite bombs at every aouse were an Englishman lived, and at a given signal blow them all up. Pa looked pale around the gills, but he said he wasn't scared.. Pa and ma were 6ing to call on a she deacon that has lots of money in the bank, to see it she didn't want to invest in a dead-sure pay ing silver mine, and me and,my cnum concluded td give them a send-off. We got my bigblack injy-rubbey fool-ball and painted rDinvmight" in big white let ters on it, and tied apiece of tarred rope to it for a fuse, and got a fire-cracker, one of those old Fourth of July horse scarers, and a basket full ofbioken glass. We put the foot-ball in front of the step, lit the tarred sope, and got under the step with the firecracker and basket, where they go down into the basement. Pa and ma got out the front door and down the steps, and pa saw the foot-ball and the barning fuse, and he said, 'Great God! Hanner, we are blowed up!" and he started to run, and ma she ^stopped to look at it. Just as pa started to run I touched off the firecracker, and my chum arranged it to pour out the broken glass on the brick pavement just as the fire cracker. went off'. Well, every thing went just as we expected, except ma. She had exam ined the foot-ball, and concluded it was not dangerous, and was just giving it a kick as the fireqiacker went off, and the glass fell, and tire firecracker was so near her that it scared her, and when pa looked around ma was flying across the sidewalk, and pa heard' the noise and he thought the house was blown to atoms. O, you'd a dide to see him go around the corner. You could play cro kay on his coat-tail, and his face was as pale as ma's when she goes to a party But ma didn't scare much. As quick as she stopped against the hitching post she knew it was us boys, and she came down there, and maybe she didn't maul me. I cried and tried to gain- her sym pathy by telling her the firecracker went off before it was due, and burned mv eyebrows off, but she didn't let up until I promised to go and find pa. I tell vou, my ma'ought to be engaged by the Brit ish government to hunt out the dy namite fiends.j [She would corral them in two minutes. If pa had as much sand as ma has got, it would be warm weather for me. Well, me and my chum went and headed pa off,or I guess he would be running yet. We got him up by the lake Shore, and he wanted to know if the house fell down. He said he would leave it to me if he ever said anything against the Fenians, and I told him he had always claimed that the Fe nians were the nicest men in the world, and it seemed to relieve bim very much. When he got home and found the house there he was tickled, and when ma call ed him an old bald headed coward, and said it was only a joke of the boys with afoot ball, he langned right out and said he knew it all the time, and he ran to see if ma would be scared. And then he wanted to hug me but it wasn't my night to hug and I went down to the theatre.' Pa don't amount to mach when there is trouble. The Little Feet. "Barley," in his interesting "Reminis nceces," giving a resume of the infor mation gained by a long residence at Washington as a newspaper correspond ent, hasthe following: For some years the wife of the Hon. E. B. Washbourne, afterward American minister at Paris, was regarded as the possessor of the most diminutive as well as the best shaped foot in Washington.^ Then came Mrs. Grant, who carried ofl' the palm victoriously and wore number ones comfortably. Mrs. Belknap's foot has often been referred to as a model oi beanty, and as being remarkably small for: a woman of her form, and Mrs. Architect Mallett, who is quite petite in form, only requires a number twelve, misses' size and Mate. Berghmann Lawton, who is of medium heisht, wears a number twelve and a half, mis8esr size. Sue has her footgear made at Brussels, and her shoemaker wrote her just before the Philadelphia Cen tennial, asking her permission to make some shoes on her last for exhibition, as he'regarded' her foot as not only the smallest possessed-by any of his casto n ers, bat as the most perfect)? propor^ tioned he had ever measured: Saperintendent Prior, of ths Milwaukas ArSt. Paul, left fer GsttftmiJa on Friday the llOi, aeoompanied by his daughter. Oon-: dtwgnr Phdpi wilt fotiow4br the same d» .. QPNTBADIOTIPN. My lady's lips* so curved,-so soft, Bave dealt to me a crnel "No Now shall-1, thus denied-and scoffed, From out hqr beauteous presence go? Not so—Proud lips, your lovely scorn. Within my breast shall plant no thorn, Till deep I've gazed 'neath lashes black Which hide her wondrqua eyesfrom me, And in response there flashee back A glance which shall my answer be. Curved.brows are lips whenoewtrows fly To wonnd, to rend, mayhap to slay. Deep wells are eyes whereJkruth doth lie— They will to me her heart betray. Dark, tender eyev your light denies The proud lips' curre. Ah, rapture lies Within those Not sno Can longer »ua nps curre. AD, rapture lies hose pure, clear depths for me, JWy lid, nor jetty lash, sr hide the flow and flash Of'love's tide welliog full and free, Bed lips, to naughty mocking lent, Kisses shall be your punishment* —From t*e Continent. BOSTON: WOMEN. A Mew View oi Femininity at the Modern Athens. Letters to San Francisco Argonaut. A friend who has made a .reflective study of women in two or three coun tries, says that when he is at liberty to choose his second wife he will come to Boston for her% for no where else are there such nice girls. He goes on to say that the best class of Boston girls have the fine complexions and good manners of English, girls without their inanity they aro noble and witty as French wo men, without their frivolity they dress with a blending of Philadelphia quiet ness and Parisian taste they are affec tionate, as southern girls, without their vicious temper they* flirt adorably with out compromising themselves, or any body else theyare charming comrades in maturers years, irnd, by their taste and piquancy, keep their place with hus bandstand sons after, they bave passed into the region of neuralgia and white shawls. It takes courage to assert such an opinion in a world of pretty women, and it should not be given without rea son. This picture is directly,opposed to the popular idea of the Boston woman—a gaunt fomale in spectacles and bright blue veil who has the plumpness and complexion of a dried codfish prying, viewy, censorious who talks about the "values of the inexpressible," the "rela tivity of the perceptives, and the "con jugation of the infinite." Unfortunately, she is not extinct but, like the elk and moose, she grows scarcer year by year. Perhaps she has the reputation of being the typical New England woman because she is pervasive in society as oil of pep permint, and, for all practical purposes of peeking and prying, one of her is as good as a dozen. 8he it was who wor ried the blue out of youthful skies by anxiety about damp shoes for healthy, young people who gloried in being soak ed by summer rains, and minded wet feet as much as a duck does the sand in his toe-nails. Her horror of good fare was unutterable as her dread of heresy, and who prescribed "healthful" desserts of rice and West India molasses or cornstarch custard in place of niince )ie and plum pudding. It was she who instilled inro your tender mind the duty of being dutiful to your maiden aunt, "because she has a lot of money, and when she dies, if you please her she'll leave you some.' "It was she whom I heard say to a young arthor happy over his new book just out: "I B'pose you paid enough to get it pub lished, didn't you?"—and to a woman of good descent, not so rich as she might be, who wanted the family coat of arms copied for a relic: "Are you sure "it wasn't a livery coat instead of a coat of arms copied for a relic, now?" For this kind of creature couldn't omit the chance of making a brutal speech, for any con sideration, and held spite with a rancor and canker you wouldn't believe. Tins kind of a woman is the lineal descendant of feudal malice and vice. She came' 'of the families that hung the Salem witches and drove Quakers into the wilderness, and is the unlovely physical result of cramped distorted ways of living, of sap less, stiugy fare, cold,aguish bed-rooms in stuffy, smelly houses, the godiessness and inhumanity of whose habits yet lin ger in rank savor about their old beams and plaster. Thank heaven, this happy race is dying out between "liver" dncl pneumonia,. V1 -L- There are two. styles etfmodera Boston girls. One style embraces a luxurious sort of damsel, rather dazzling in girl hood, i"with peach-and crea.ny cheeks, round contours, liguid, glowing eyes, and hair like black satin, apt to ripen into a sumptuous later beauty. It is odd, but you will find more of these large, glow ing, imperious black'eyes in and. around Boston than you will in any city of the south. It comes of a strain of rich, hot cavalier blood, that is responsible for most of the daring and. the romance .of New England stories, and agooddeal of the latter underlies the decorous surface of New England to-Gay, especially among "ie old families. It is the romance, of lT-will and rivalry—there is little love romance left in the world. One dark eyed, old-schoo!lady know, had a fond ness forn man who wrs in debt to. her own brother some thousands of dollars, borrowed on bis note of hand. After the brother's funeral, while the rest were at the grave, she hunted up the note among the dead man's papers, tore ofl the signature, and defied family in dignation with the cool remark: "There was no use making a iuss about it." I know of a woman with the profile of lib erty on the coins, who, tired of her old. over-fond husband, went off to the sea side in summer, passed herself as a wid ow and the husband in briefvisits as her uncle, actually married a younf* second husband out of a Boston family, and lived within fifty mileB of her old home fbr two years before the trick was found o\it. Then the hussy contrived to make the first husband mortgage his property' and give her imlf he was worth before he was done with her. She had some shameful secret of his money-getting in her keeping, and this, was the price of of her silence. The wealthy old bach elor, Ben Wnght, whose ten or twenty wills made such work for the prob.ite court, not long ago, was a firm believer in the divine right of rich people to please themselves. He had a partiality for pretty women, especially for one gay young married woman, wife of a stock-broker, one of the newcpeople and when the doctor ordered mm down to Florida for the winter, what does he do but write up to her family, asking that she should be allowed to come down and take care of him? Down she flutter ed with tronkB and toilets bewitching, installed herself at his side, and at last got. him to make a will in her favor, giving her the bulk of his millions. The amily threatened to put her letters in court, and a compromise was made by which she got a htmdred "thousand or so. Her husband is remarkably pleased with the financial ability of his wife, and both move in the gayest of gay society. The world is wide,.andt as, one lady of irreproachable notions said, "if.you shut sinners out of society you don't always know whether it is they or you that are outside the most.- I*, don^t make such persons my bosom friends, or ask them to my house, neither when I meet them do I feel obliged to sit^as judge and jury on my fellow-creatures which express es the amiable sentiments ofwiciety to ward pleasant people in general. Leaving out the flawed peaches, there is another sort of .Boston girl, delicate of complexion, with bright, expressive eyes, and race all gay with tiuick intelli gence, swaying figure, dancing step, and style more simple and perfect than that of any other women made.- She does not transfix you with repartee, like your clever Californians she hasn't so much of the bouncing:manner of-the New York girl. Away from the men, she isn't sentimental as the Alabamian, who is quite capable Of Quoting' 'Marmi on" to you at any time, nor does she tolerate poems of the St Louis-Milwau kee Order. She is the kind of girl her father takes comfort In talking to, and never needs snublfittfc from her brother to keep' her in order. She isn't turned out to order by the dozen, like those in sipid model yonng English ladies who eome over traveling with their papas and mammas, tod who give yoa the idea of needing to be kept in boxes all their .lives. ThVBoston girl is made to order and ^rokep. The voices ot well* bred young women here are caridtuuy afike 'and I have turned so often to greet- »«ond, whose soft, tunable voic4 I Cottld nave sworn to* and 'found a sponger, that it is more frequent thsa- asaeslng. Perhaps irOni- somethinjr hafresafd before, fou the gora»ous yonng cattle-queen afore said.- She frequently wears rubbfers, and writes on postal cards sometfhes, but you are never tempted ta take her. for an actress or a parlor-maid out. You see her walking down the common with sher gray-headed papa mornings^—.be on nis way to business she, with her em broidered bag of books, on her way-to lessons—both chatting like goodObora rades.Her mamma doe's not find it necessary to send a French maid with her every time she goes out alone ,at least only the stock-brokers (the new people) do that, and nice work the girls and the maids together make sometimes, The smart American girl savors enough^ mischief without -having French* bonne to teach her any more than she knows already. Boston is a woman's city, where they come and go with an 'independence highly convenient to all concerned. The mammas can remember when it was not etiquette for ladies to visit the Athen jeum Art Gallery in day time without an escort, and they are not likelv to wish their daughters under any such restric tions^ The fine slender girls I meet stepping across the common to their les sons, with that deer-like carriage of the head that suits their soft, serious eyes, and, their faces which have the inno cence of a thoughtful, well-informed child dressed in plain English suits of forest green cashmere, with close capes, furry hat and feather, trim to the tips of their frills,* gloves, and boots, are an order of young ladyhood one could bear to see oftener. Such girls will never need their freedom abridged. If their mammas wish to h^Ve a game dinner over at Point Shirley—which is across the bay for San rancisco—they make up a party and have, if anything, abetter time than their husbands who may be dining in the next room, as happened once. Women in society go to opera aud theatre unattended and un criticised. As one envious girl said "New York people of family think they can't go anywhere without the carriage and a guard o'f honor here the nice peo pie think they can go everywhere and anyhow." What's the good of being better family than everybody else, if you can't do as you please? Personal Mention. 11. J. Bamsdell relates in the Phil adelphia Press some of the incidents of the late James W. Bosler. He says: Snch universal mourning I never saw On the day of the funeral the picturesque park in which his magnificent house is situated was thronged with people, rich and poor, high and low, men, women, children. In the house were the rel atives of the deceased and the distin guished persons who came to pay the only tribute they could pay to the man they loved. I have no wish to parade their names. A choking sensation was felt in every throat when Mr. Blaine burst into tears as he looked, at the face of his dead friend. It was the saddest scene I ever saw. A thousand per sons said when his name was men tioned: "He was the best friend I ever had." Thefus Sawyer, one of the Wisconsin senators, is called the lumber king, says a Washington writer. He has made a fortune in lumber, and is now adding another to it. There he stands, with his hands in his pocket, right in the middle of the middle aisle. He is the Brer Tarry pin of the senate. He's as broad as he is long, although he is well shaped. He has a perfectly round head it is perfectly smooth on toD. His fringed hair is perfectly white. So is his fringe of beard. His face is as fresh as an infant's. But his parrot-like nose and his keen twinkling eyes deprive it of the innocent expression it ought to have. He is a very well-balanced, well polished looking man. He gives good dinners, if he did come from Oshkosh. Perhaps the wealthiest woman in the world is the Russian Grand Duchess Catherine, widow of the Duke George of Mecklenberg-Strelitz. She inherited, through her mother, one-half of the fab ulous wealth amassed by the Empress Catharine II. and h6r son Paul, the other half having descended to the reigning family. The Grand -Duchess makes good use of her riches. She is not only a patroness of science and art, but maintains at her own expense several hospitals in St. Petersburg, pro viding also for talented young physicians with means for scientific journeys and investigations. Near her palace she has established an eating house for indul gent students. The St. Louis Post Dispatch's corre spondent at Washington says: "Before leaving Washington, Mrs. Sherman, wife of the General, added another name to her long list of Catholic con verts. This last convert, like many others who have been influenecd by er of the Portland Flats. The family, for several years, bave passed their winters in Washington. Theyare Uni tarians, though liberal even for thai sect. It is a great grief to the family that the daughter. is converted to Roman Catholicism, and like most con verts, especially young lady converts Mim Weston is more devout than th most rigid Boman Catholics, who hav been brought up in that faith." The full name of the late Greek pro fessor of Harvard college, who died re cently at the age of 76 years, was Evan glinus Apostohdes Sopnoctes. He was a native of Greece. He was a graduate of Amherst college, and one of the most expert classical scholar sin this oountry. Besides performing his regu iar duties in Harvard, Professor Sopho cles prepared and published several ed ucational works on the Greek and allied languages which have been widelv ac cepted as of great merit by the teachers of the country. Of late years his duties bave consisted in giving instruction to a few students in modern Greek and de livering lectureB on Pindar and ether representatives of the earliest Greelt lit etature. Our ComiiitR Titled Ordeis. Mr. James Canby Bidolph-Cope, an American has been made a marquis by the pope because of a large sum of mon ey given by him to the schools of Rome- There are already several American titled "ladies," but this is the first titled American gentleman thus far heard from. The marquis has set an example and a precedent. Titled* Americans are wanted here in New York. There is an element in our "society'' longinc for a crop of home-bred dukes, counts,Toarons, and marquises. Our women are, in cases, very glad to wear such titles There are men here who in their heart of hearts long to be their noble counter parts and are only prevented by the barrier of custom True, this might de bar the American noble from holding office. But office and politics are vulgar. The cream of our society desire some thing a degree higher than American office can give. American office life is short, fleeting, and uncertain. A man taken into socie ty by virtue of being a governor or even a president may in a few months become a nobody or next to it. There is the trouble. We want something more en during. The title of "count," "vis count," "duke" or "marquis" sticks. It doesn't matter -so much about the man. He may be a noodle. But the noodle is the support or framework that carries the title. Our American titled orders might be ridiculed at first by the herd, as in time past were liveried ser vants. uuttne "people".would soon get accustomed to it all as they do to every thing else, an't it would give an eclat to our society which is now wanting. Let us try on a few as we do bonnets at the milliner's just to see how they look and read in print The duke de Vanderbilt, the Count de Astor. the Viscount de Russell Sage, the Marquis de Field. They certainly are very becoming.—Newy York Graphic. Educational Influences. at tlc Farm. Professor. W. H. Brewer, celebrates the educational Influence of the form, which have largely formed the charac ter of American institutions. Of tho twenty-one president, fifteen wwte formers or sons of farmers, and-five lived On newly cleared land, and these five ^rerotHe most prominent anions all Who have occupied the executive chair, go of others in ina^tantfpnWlcpori tioDS. of oar past. codptit affords tions to observe andinvestigste. On the farm the child'early learns that he can do something that is useful, that will save the labor of others. He is early identified with- the workers, and learns to look forward for results beyond the immediate moment ll^helps put the seed in the soil and sees tne waiting for the harvest sees the next year's Wood cut and* piled this year sees that fences drains and barns are built for tho future, lie learns to be s«lf-sacrificing now, that he may have an abundance at some future time. Biliousness, Bilious ey mptoma invariably arise from indigestion, such as furred tongue, vomitirg of bile, giddiness, sick headache, irregu"ar bowels. The liver secretes the bile and acts like a filter or seive, to oleanse impurities of the blood. By irregularity in its action or saspensions of its functions, the bile is liable overflow into the blood, causing jaundlep, fallow complexion, yellow eyes, bilious di arrhoea, a languid, weary feeling and many other distressing symptoms. Biliousness may be properly termed an affection of the liver, and can be thoroughly cured by the grand regulator of the liver and biliary oz gans,BurdoukBloodBltters. Itactsuponthe stomach, bowels and liver, making healthy bile and pure blood, and opens the cul verts and sluiceways for the outlet of disease. Sold everywhere and guaranteed to cure. Diseased Liangs Are greatly on the increase in thia coun ty. It is estimated that 100,000 die pearly with Consumption! Many fall victims hrough their own imprudence. A better emedy than Alien's Lung Balsam for ef 'eoting a perfect cure cannot be frund. Physicians are recommending it. The-Tabor scorching. opera house got a $20,000 'Tls Vain to Kick. Wben.a man has once put on fetters 'tis vain to kick, and so when ne has once tried A.llen's Iron Tonic Bittters, he cannot do without it ac.d would not it he could. All genuine bear the signature of J. P. Allen, 3t. Paul, Minn. I have been afflicted with an affection )f the Throat from childhood, caused by iiphtheria, and have used various remedies. :ut bave nevpr found anything to equal BEOWH'S BEOHCHIAL TROCHES.—R*v. G. M. F. dampton, Vikecon, Ky. Sold only in boxes. The North Americas Seneca Indians, made mch frequent use of troleum that for many rears it was only known as Seseca Oil. No# it is known as Carboline, the Wonderfal Hair Renewer. Bhow this to your friends, for diphtheria, soughs, colds or catarrh, Dr. Halliday's 61 od Purifier is an immediate cure. Sold by all druggists. I hava known aad watched the use of Swift's Specific (3. 8. 8.) for over fifty years, *nd never have known or heard of its fail are to cure any case ot Blood Poison when properly taken. H. L. Deranard, i'erry, Ga. The Conductor. Conductor Warren, of Winona, Minn., sa}s, I used one bottle of Warner's White Wi of Tar Syrup, when I was so hoarse I could not speak above a whisper, and in twenty-four hours it cured me. It is the best remedy I ever saw. mm Free to all Ministers. I will send two bottles of Warner's White Wine of Tar free of all costs to any minis er who will send us an order from his store keeper for two drzen bottles of the same. 1 have b(ea using Swift's Specific (S. S. 8.) and find it be the best remedy of the kind that I have ever been able to get, and I have tried them all. John Tischer. 3rd. U. !. Cavalry^ A cure at last for catarrab. The evidence overwhelming that Ely's Cream Balm goes more directly than any other to the s«at of the disease, and has resulted in more cur^s than sll other remedies.—Wilkesbat re (Pa) Union Leader. (Not a liquid or snutf, see adv't.) I have b?en a sufferer for years with ca tarrah. acd under a physician's treatmect for over a year. E y's Cream Balm cave me immediate relief. I believe I am entirely cured.—G. 8. Davis, First National Ban*, Elizabeth, N. J. Consumption in. any stage may be cured by Piso's Cure, 25 cents a bottle. Kougli on Bats," clears out-Bats. Mice. ISc. Mother Swan's Worm Syrup, tasteless. 25c. "Roueh on Coughs" Troches. 15c Liauid, 50c. Wells' May Apple (Liver) Pills. 10c,. Rou-rh on Tooth-iche." ins.aut relief. 15c. Bucnu-paiba," Great Kiduey and Urinary Care. $1 'Bough on Corns," for Corns, Warts. Bunions. 15c Wells' Health Renewer cure3 Dyspepsia, Impotence The "ltougli on" Tooth jPowder„elegant. 15c. election in Zumbrota li- At the village cecse was voted. Of the many remedies before the public for Nervous Debility and weakness of Nerve Generative System, there is none equal to Allen's Brain food, which promptly and permanently restores all lost vigor it never fails. $1 pkg., 6 for $5. At druggists, or by mail from J. H. Alien, 315 First avenuo, New York. For Dyspepsia, .Indigestion, Depression of Fpirits and General D. bilitv, in their various forms: also as a preventive aeainst Fever and Ague, and other Intermittent Fcvars, the "I'erro-Phosiihor ated ISIixir of Calisuya," male by Gag well. Hazard 4 Co.. New York, and sold by all Druggists, is the best tonic and for patients recovering from Fever or otbi»r it linn no f'nnnl. A E N S Lung Balsam! SOOD FAULT REMEDY! -THAT WILL CURE— Coughs, Colds, Croup, Dr. Mmdith, DratUt, *t Clndn'tl, wu thought totolltbaUct SUgM •f ComamptioB, mi lnduoM by hi* Mrada to try illn'i km Bilnm after tha fcrmnla na ikvn MB. Wt hav* hii letter that ltatonea cured his ma Md that he waj able Mime hia prqotiee. Jemalah WrifhL Xarloa CeeB^.WTva., h«a Pulmonary Ota mumi II incurable Use in time. *7 their pbyiielu, when the mee of Allen'i XjoacBal •ueatirel'. eurMher. He write* that he art hia (J CONSUMPTION. Wa. C. Dime, Her ehaat, ofBowllaf Qreea, Va.,WTitee April 4,1881, thathewanU tu to know thai the Long Balaam, ofloniumptioiij VI WUUlilVUUilj the fhyiiciaa haagtrea her up aa inrarable. Be eay« other* knowiac her eaee have takes the B»l Mua and been enred. He thlaki aU.ee aflieted •healdgive it a trial. %•. A. aakw a Ce.,Wheleeale Drugglsti Zaneerille, Ohio, write aa of the emre ef Mat thiaa Fxeemaa, a well kaowa eitiiea, whe bad iBMetim Int. I O N Allen's Lung Balsam ta tmrmlMc to the moat deltoatf ehUd I It oontalns no Opium in any form BeoommoMled by Fkystolaaa. Ililitm ul Hants. In feet by averybody WBO baa glrta TT good trial. It Karer lUla to Brbif Bellu Aa an Kapaetorant It Has no Bqual. SOLD BY ALL MEDICINE DEALERS. TUTT'S PILLS TORPID BOWELS, DISORDERED LIVER, th* diseases of the human ntee. Thees symptoms Indicate their exiatance: Xttma mi Appetite. Bowala eeattve* Weir Mb*, fliliaew aRffeatlaftavM wrtloB mt bSy wtaii fcw mt IMI, britaMimr sf «aaa*e*tZ«W nMtfcl fttllas «f lunrlaff megleetol eeaaedhatr, IMsafaeae,Ilntteilafrwt tfcl HeartolMte btfci the eyeeffcltffljred!* «el Vriae, COMOTlno^ end mand the use of a remedy that acts directly ontheLlvec. JU'sawfiMMaMt'tfi'Il PlUUiliavenoeqaaL Their action on ths all imparities through slrin anl arlcorooabody. 1V1V*1 cans* no nansea or grlptnc nor with dally work and areaperfsot ANT DISATOUTO AUSO. TH«ira. Send OQL.X ®0 Btamb tor ciroolara. BZKGHAM.Attorfier. Washington,». C" A GENTS WASTED XVSKIWHUffi^I& A. capital reaoind. Aaentunaka SSMner moitti. aired. Maa a raa ainereni iroin others, la cup ihapo, with WCTi™center,*'ta Ipotftfonsoc while the ball in a beiS securefy fiy and niehc, and a radical core eertafn. ltlseatty,duralitenndcheap. Sentbjrmail. Cir cular* Tret. UiOlJKTOS Tttlfes CO., CUeare, -UL The necessity lor grotupt and efficient ooaeboM reiuonies ia daily growing more imperative, and of these Hostet ter'n Stomach Bit'crs ia ibe chief in merit and the moat popu lar. Irregularity of the stomach and bowels, malarial t« vers.livei* complaint, dabiiity.rlieumatism and minor ailments, are thoroughly con quered by this in comparable family restorative and niea-. icical safeguard, and it is Justly repaMed as the purest aad most comprehensive remedy of its class. SITTERS For sa'e byDrng g:sts. and Dealers generally. Serve Tonio, A Poeltivo Beaa edy for all forma of Meww» D» Ipinal^Swi Chora, firm P» thetie Kerroua Derangement of the Heart, Liter ana Kidneya^ind •11 other Nervous Dineaaea. Price: fL00 per bottle or a for $5.00. Sent by ex. prew on receipt of money. 8en'd'etamp tat circular. Addmea, DB. SPINNEY A 00, 10K South Third St., Minneapolis Minn. Alao for sale by Druggists TROWBRIDGE -CAST SEED SOWER THE BE9T, CHEAPEST and SIMPLEST. Sows all grains, era«8 seeds, lime, salt, ashes, fertili zers—ana everything requiring broadcasting—any quantity per acre, better and faster than by a uy other method. Saves seed by sowing it jerfectly even. Sows single or double cast, all ou either or both sides of wagon. Not affected by wind, as the eeeft is Nurve and Strain Remedy. A guaranteed cure lor Nervous Urbll lly. losaof Vitality & WAfcaeu, Nenral gia. Hysteria, I on vukioni, Fits, Epil epsy, Headaefia, Wskrfnlnets or any Evil result of Indiscre tion, Excess, Over work, Abuses of 'Al&c., cohol, Tobsrco, (over fortr thousand cures'). Price, fcl.O© Per box or six boxes for VS.OO. A written guarantee to eure witH every Nix boxes or money refunded. BT Fend 15 cents for of 100 pills Address Dr. M. W. BACON, Cor. Clark Sr. and Calhoun Place, Chicago, 111. DRY TETTER. For years I was afflicted with Dry Tetter of tho most obstinate type. Was treated by many of the best physicians: took quantities of mercury, potash and arsenic, which, instead of curing the Tetter, crippled me up with mineral poison and rheuma lism. The Tetter dontinued to grow worse, and tho itching almost made me crazy. Iu this condition I as iuduced to take Swift's Specific, and the re ilt was as astooiscinff as it was gratifying. In a months the ToVtar was entirely well, the Mer curial Poisoning all out of my system, and I was a well inau—and djse only to Swift's Specific. All like sufferers should take it JAMBS DUNNING, Louisville, Ky. Our treatise on iJlood and Skin Diseases mailed free to applicants. t:. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Drawer 3, Atlsnl», Ga. make every one a present according to the in years tocome will liberally repay na Orand Piano P. jj, Greenbacks of 810U EACH. faintly Carriapter. Grand Cabinet Orean U. S. Greenbacks of SSO EACH... Organ lO U. 8. Greenbacks of S20 KACH.. 5 Gold Bracelets, KACH SSO.. It MB •hitii ia le for twelre jean. The Lug Balaam eared him aa it hae eared auj ether* efBraaekltla. Gold Watches, EACH SIOOT... Saratoga Trunk Gold Necklaces, KACH #15 lO Dickens* Works. t- ACH #«0 lO family Bibles, EACH 15 If .Keiied Benefactors. Wfcsn aboard of emfaenta pljjridtwui 4 |pl«mJst anaonneed the dlsrttssy that far combining soma well-known valuable WANTED not thrown up into tbe air. Perfectly 'simple. Beadily attached to any watron. Lasts a life-time. Can be used wherever a wagon can be driven. Team making one mile sows four acres of whaat Crop one-fourth larger than when drilled. Send stamp for circulars giving- terms and testimonials. Mention this paper. Ci. W. l)OIHt, Treanurer, RACINE WEEPER CO., Oesftloines, I own, MOVER'S TSOUK dies, the moat wonderful medicine w*0 pro* dnosd, which would cure snob a wide zanaf of diseases that most all other rsmedla crald be dispensed witb, many woe skepti cal bat proof of its merits by actual trial has dispelled all donbt, and today the dis-T corerersof that great medidns^uop Wt teis, anlumarsd and blessed by all as p*ae fsctorf. Thete Bhten ace ooinboimds^ frbin Hops, Stachn, Maly MandTafce md Dandelion and ether oldest, best and most valuable medicines in the world and con tain all the beat and most curative proper^ ties of all otfcer medicines, being the rreat •est Blood Purifier, Kidpey and Liver Rego* lator, and Ills and health restoring agent on earth. No disease or ill health can possibly long exist where these Bitters ate used, so varied and perfect are their operations. They give new life and vigor to the aged and infirm. To all whose employments* caasaJrregularity of the b^wfels or urinary organs, or who require an Appetixer, /Tonitfc and mild Stimulant, these bitters are in valuable, being..highly curative, tonic and stimulating, without intoxicating. No matter what your feelings or symp* toins are, what the disease or ailment ia, use Hop Bitters. Don't wait nntil you are sick, bnt if you only feel bad or miserable, use the Bitters at ones. It may savt your life. Hundreda have been saved by so do nig. will be paid for a case they will not cure or help Do not suffer yourself or let your .friends suffer, but use and urge them to use Hop Bitters. Remember, Hop Bitters is*the purest and beet medicine ever made the "Invalid's friend and hope." No person or Amily: ahoul be without thnn. Iwss troubled tor many years with se rious Kidney and LlVer Complaint, Gravel, etc. ^my blood became thin I was coll and inactive could hardly crawl abomt, and waa an old worp ont man all* Over, andcould get nothing to help me, until I srot Hop' Bitters, and now I am a bov aeain. My blood is pure, kidneys are afl right, and I am as sctive as a man of 3'J, although I am 72.—FATHER. "For ten years my wife was confined to her bed with such a complication of ail ments that ne doctor could tell what wis the matter or cure her, and I used up a small fortune in humbug staff. Six on tha ago I saw a U. 8. fiig with Hop Bitters on it, and I thongnt 1 would be a fool once more, and I tried it, but my felly proved to be wisdom, and two bottles curta her, sbe is now as well and strong as any mail's wife, and it cost me only two dollars. H. W ., Detroit,Mich. ASENT8 tlnir HMhlneever invented. Will knit* pair of 'orw^fth there is always a WAKl'TFn HWFEVEK ready market Send for circular and terms to the Twombly Hnlttiu Haehlne Co** MTrmflntfttra^y^^ T-ADIES OR YOUNG MEN TO TA3S If fill ILU nice pleasant work at their own homes. $2 to $5 a day easily made work gent by mail. No canvassing. No stamp for reply. Address I'.KIDI) & CO., Lock-Box 157, Dubuque, Iowa. A DO COT Dollar Weekly Published. X. Y. .fulUCOl WEEKLY NEWS, 72 columns. One Dollar a year. Best Paper for Farmers «nd house wives Juliet Corson's Original Becipes every week. 27th year. Specimens free, 25 Park Bow. X. Y. By return mA Van taMa FREE Moody's New Tailor TlrwnCnttluir aoonv BUGGIES A cnByteas.eUofl.UseUaatl ia the TT. B. for tha money. £nTEBnuss CsmBueB Co Free. money. J5m Cincinnati. Write tor Catalogue No. 10, A GKNTfe «TANTKD for** bast aad fsatsit esB A. lng Pictorial Books sad Brolsa. Prloea rtdnoaA par cant. National Publishing do, Chicago, 111. IT falta in Its efficacy, that I will getber with a VALUABLE TKEATI8E on thH soyiiuSercr. Give Express and P. O. mddren. DB. T. A. HLOCijia, Ml Pearl St, Ksw'^p* CATARRHet, b'reu BtH whan avallaA by tfca finger Into the noaMIc wW be absorbed, at factual^ daanslagtte he«d of catarrkd Ti nt canalny •earaaaaa It aUwa tha mamtaine of the f'TB* oasaacaa fma addltkmaicoiids, m» plately heals Qia soiaa aadraatoraa tMtaaai •mell. Afsw ttonarallsrs. *ugk ftsmn wm ImMMvom. ina aUatoea% nidlav circular. Trice, aanft. by uiail, at si •FEVERS» •unomu oaam.1, The BUYERS? GOTDE IS is sued March and Sept., each year: 216 pages, 8jxllj finches, with over 3,300 illustrations—a whole pic ture gallery. Gives whole sale prices direct to consumers on all goods for personal or family use. Tells how to order, and gives exact cost of every thing yoa use, eat, drink, wear, or have fun with. These invaluable bo6ks con tain information gleaned from the tnar kets of the world. We will mail a copy Free to any address upon receipt of we postage—7 cents. Let us hear from yoa. Respectfully, $50,000JVEN AWAY POPULAR MONTHLY. Every,'Subscriber 3NTO 3E MONTGOMERY WARD .& CO* *91 A 8»S Wabash Cblesgr, q. BUY NORTHERN CROWN SEEDS. Flowers. Vegetables and crops. Send lor n*w Catalogue contains everythingforuaraen,lioaw and Farm. It ^vill pay you to get it. Largest stock of pure FarmS eda In the West. Beautum Hants and Roses by the 100,000. JOHN A. SALZER. La CrOSSe, Wi*. OB A A A IN 3PILESENT8 to Receive a Present* THIS OFFER GOOD UNTIL MARCH 14, 1884. PRESENT AND I SPLENDID ILLUSTRATED MABA2MT, One Year, for only $1.50. Desiring to increase tho circulation of onr already well known.magazine to 100,000 copies^we have decided to give our subscribers the benefit of comniisslons heretofore paid to apenta^ana^to Bubscribera fort ... and will give away 100,000 presents, our list having been arranged lor that purpose. FOR $1.50 PARTIAL LIST OF PRESENTS TO BE GIVEN AWAY capital present, CASH 06,000 errant! wenent, CASH 4,000 present, CASH 2,060 present, CASU 1,000 lOOpresents, ewch valued at 010..... 1,000 200 presents, each valued at #5 1,000 ISO ooo 500 350 300 a 50 aoo too soo »5 30 soo ISO estod persons to be chosen at the Distribution, March 14tSf We subscriber will have a fair and eonai showing. After the commit DO informed of the result. Subscribers are invited to be in attendance on the day of the Distribution. Presents will be sent to any address, whether the subscriber be presenter not. As we only charge $1.00 a year (otuifregular price.), you understand that we give away these 100,000 proaepta without cost to those who subscribe. Sample copies or back numbers of our magazine will be mailed to any address for 15 cente, which amount can be sent in cent or 2 cenfrpostage stamps. Postmasters are authorized to receive guo* eczipUoos. Bexoit by registered letter or motley oraer, Address all letters to ventlon ls better than core. JOiBiNSOIi'S ANODYNE LINIMENT CUWM. inftegga, ne*s. Hacking Cuuiih, WhoopInK Cr^ti, Warrli«a, CM^^Mart^ lUlney_Troables»aad| IjnM llscb. vhere. Circulars sent FREE. ... •i t.MT OF DISEASES ALWAYS CCSABLE.BY •t. US1NO mnmnaw MUSTANG innuENT.« .OF IIDUII^ OF HHIAH PUSH. ShenmaUam, Bnrxts and Scalds, Stings and Bites, Cats and Braises, Spntins Sc, Stitelkea, CoatnctoUutlss MiffJslatii, it# Eir»|»tiwsaf''- & FreitMH, aod ilIev6*^aieeas6s.Maavent6e»t' asefafamily. stsbla and stockys»*tt it ffli BEST Scratches, r- jp Sores aadCUbi Spavin, Crack* Screw Worm, Grab* I Foot Bot, Bo*f Ail,' Sfrtaay, Faaadtn, SpimiM, Strain«t SvreFeetf line one year to any addreaa .. jomuur subscription! given away March I4tb,: SOO FarbejfrapliPictoreSjKACH Iff 91,000 500 l'ocket Knives, EACH 75 cents.. 875 1 Top llnm S50 1,000 Gold Hincs, Books, etc.. SI each 1,000 15 H. 8. Greenbaeka, EACH ilO 1M 1 Silver Service..". 20 U. S. Greenbacks, EACH 95 5 Sewing Machinea, »7.5 EACH........ a Breach-Loading ShotGuna each $75 a Sewing Machines, EACH S65 2 Farm Wagons, KA CH $80 4-SUver Watches, EACH $30.. 50 U. S. Greenbacks, $1 EACH a ladies' Chatelaine WatcheK.......... 230 photofpraph Albams, EACH ^IO.. 8,500 and 97,587- other pn*entoTaluedat from 2O. tents to $1 EACH, whieli niakea mnd total o4100,000 presents, thus ensnntoetar present to all whosendus$1.50»as directea. pledge oar reputation that every littoe's report is made public all will 53 dearborn Street, CHICAGO, 1LL& CROUP, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS, Neroelsria, Hhenmatiam. 30BXS0K AMODYHK UMUtEMT (for Internal and EzitrnaL Us*) will ia. I stantly relieve these tuTible disuses, and| will positively care nine caaes out of Information that will save many lives free by mail. Dont delay a moment. HOL_„ IS UWMILWOa EVEKFWl£ is craas \Epileptie Fitty \Spatm, Falling Sickness, Convnl- eions, St. Vitus Dance Alcoholism, Opium Eating, Seminal WeaknMs,^Im-, potency, Syphilis, Scrofula, and all Nervous and Blood Diseases. -, v, tajPTo Clergymen, Lawyers, Ltterary Men, Vftiyhanfa, Bankers, Lames and aH who»a eedentaiy employment causes NervoosPros or^dney^or wha ewSre lnene tonic. ametirerori" vine ls jnv^u f^TThftngaadg I pfoclaim it themort* wonderful Invigor ant that ever sustain ed a sinking system. $L50,at9ruggistsr TMDR.S./L «K»OIOWr7||^^SSPl got tertBnwMsaftd