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OLD HIS SHOOTING BOOTS.
Man Foiled His Wife on the Price, But the Result Was Sad. Banks knew very well that he could not afford to pay $20 for a pair of shooting boots, but he reasoned with himself, after the sophistical manner of those who knew the joys sf ex travagance, that his twice-a-year trip to his Long Island club for two days of duck shooting was really the only luxury he allowed himself and Ms economies in other directions deserv ed reward. So Banks bought the boots, and told his wife a nice little story about a friend who had struck a bargain in boots and had let him have a pair "for practically nothing." The boota were not worth much anyhow, he carelessly explained, and congratulat ed himself on having sateiy" and sagaciously" handled a delicate situa tion. When Banks came back from his next shooting trip he was tired and sleepy, and threw his new boots, all muddy as they were, into a closet, to be cleaned when he should have more energy. "And what do you think happened to those boots!" he said two days later to a group 'of sympathetls friende on 'change. "A Junk peddler came around the next day and my wife sold him my $20 boots for fifty cents. She knew they were of no special value, as I had said so, and thought she'd done well to get fifty cents for them." "And what did you say?" asked one man, betwixt pity and amusement. "Sayf What could I say? I be came hysterical."New York Mail and Express International Rifle Shoot In the competition under the man agement of the English National Rlfla Association for the Palma trophy at Bisley, each team must have eight members, who shall use the national military arm of the country it repre sents, each member to have fifteen shots, without artificial rest, at 800, at 900 and at 1,000 yards, the bulls-eye being thirty-six inches across. Nearly Drowned in Cider. Leo de Mille, a young farmer of Geneva, N. Y., was just starting to empty some cider from one barrel in to another when the bung flew out, striking him in the eye and render ing him unconscious. The contents of the barrel followed and the young man was nearly drowned before he could be rescued. Veteran Actress in Splendid Health. Fanny Herring, the actress who charmed the audience of the Old Bow ery Theater thirty or forty year3 ago, celebrated her seventy-first bithday recently.' After nearly fifty years on the stage she retired to her farm in Connecticut, where she now lives in the best of health. Pierpont Morgan's Success. Plerpont Morgan, who celebrated bis sixty-sixth birthday recently, achieved his greatest business suc cesses since he reached the three score mark. He first became promi nent in th .financial world about twenty /earn ago, when he went to Europe and successfully sold $25,000,- 00 worth of New York Central stock. Yhis made the old financiers gasp. By this piece of work Mr. Morgan won the Testing friendship of the late Wiliiam fi. Vanderbilt and incidentally cleared $1,000,000 tor himself. Missed His Calling. An Italian has been discovered on a fruit ranch at Riverside, working for $1.50 per day, who proves to be an artist in sculpture of the highest rank, and he has been set to work completing the stucco finishing of the Interior of the Carnegie library build ing. Ii.o name is Luigi Ianni, and the only words in English he can use are "You bet." He is now at work on some Corinthian columns of original design that are marvels as works of art.Los Angeles Herald. "Robbery," a New Magazine. A magazine has been started *ls Belgium to chronicle the doings of the criminal world. It is called "Rob- bery," and will appear quarterly. It will contain accounts of famous thefts in days gone by side by side with descriptions of the most up to date methods employed by thieves, burglars, etc., though it is not to be, so far as known an organ of the trade. Space will be also devoted to Illustrating the various tools and ln stm ei'ts used by the craft on noc turnal excursions in town and coun try. "Sized Up* His ivran. "Brother" Sheldon, author of His Steps," has a sense of humor. He tells this story on himself of a young couple who applied to him to he mar ried. He performed the ceremony with due solemnity and congratulated the bride. Then he observed the bridegroom searching through his pockets and looking a bit humiliated and ashamed. "I am afraid, parson," be said, "that I ain't got any money to pay you with." Then, after a mo ment of deep thought, looking up cheerfully, he added: 'But I can tell you how to fix your gas meter so It won't register." Pessimism in the Sunny South. Glory is but a transient dream that gives color to a sleep bespangled with Illusions of greatness a mirage, glit tering, but unsubstantial, hovering above the oasis in the desert of life at whose fountain many a weary trav eler would quench his burning thirst that he may press on to grander heights.Roanoke. Va.f Times. 3H DID NOT DRINK. Arid Consequently Did Not Need First Floor Rooms. American pushfulness is an unlim ited quantity. The women are as ir repressible in society as the men ir commerce. A ortain visitor to thr Riviera found this out recently. He was occupying first floor rooms at a well-known hotel. An of a sudden, without any introduction or prelim inary, a r.ote was brought to him signed by the wife of a well-known American millionaire. It asked him whetner he would object to giving up his rooms to her niece. He was much amazed, but wrote back inquiring whether the niece drank. Mrs'. wrote in reply, in surprise and indig nation, winding up with an emphatic statement that her niece did not drink. Lord concluded with the following note: "Lord re grets that ho cannot give rp his first floor rooms to Mrs. 's niece, for he is convinced that, as the young lady does not drink, it is very much easier for her to get up stairs than it is for Lord ."London Tat ler. A NEW BOILED DINNEA. Little One's Astonishment Natural Un der the Circumstances. "I have a little niece," said the ra conteur of the Sewing Circle, "who is never so happy as when she is al lowed to visit the kitchen and watch the servants at work. Fortunately, her mother has good-natured servants who rather enjoy having the child around, so many are the charmed hours which Jessie spends downstairs making little piey under the cook's superintendence, and pretending she is 'grown up.' "The other day she descended to the laundry to oversee the family wash in her busy little way. She gave one look of utter astonishment as Mary put on the clothes to boil, and then fairly flew upstairs to her mother, ex claiming: 'Oh, mamma! What do you think? Mary's conking the clothes for din- ner!'"New York Times. Cheerfulness Counts. The Cosmopolitan says the longevity of the medical man is materially less than that of workers of other profes sions. Only those with a sound physique, other things being equal, can win in a struggle for success. The sick look with confidence to the well. Tiiey demand the hearty dogmatism that con.es from the overflowing of animal spirits. They enjoy the cheer ful optimism that comes from a good digestion. They lean upon the doc tor in their weakness and yield willing obedience to his kindly Influence, Much of cfie power possessed for good may be outside of pills or potions, cor rect theories or sound deductions. American Medicine. Baitl A class in a Sunday school was list ening to a lesson on patience. The topic had been carefully explained, and as an aid to understanding the teach er had given each pupil a card bearing the picture of a boy fishing. "Even pleasure," said she, "requires the exer cise of patience. Look at the boy fish ing! He must Bit and wait and wait. He must be patient." Having treated the subject very fully, she began with the simplest, most practical question: "And now cas any .'.lttle boy tell me what we need most when we go fish- ing?" With one voice was the answei shouted "bait!" Evicted Kaffirs. The coi respondent of a London pa per, writing from British South Afri ca, says the Kaffirs are bound to in crease in population more rapidly than the whites, whom they already greatly outnumber, and, being barred from work In many cases by the im portation of cheap labor from India and forced to leave their land hold ings, which they retain only under lease from the Boers, to whom it has been allotted, and under liability of evictjon, a serious uprising of the na* tives Is not beyond the possibilities of the near future. TeetotalIsm in Texas. When Gen. Horace Porter was in Texas he came across a man who went about telling everybody, in great surprise, that he "had struck a big thing here." "What's the matter?" people asked. "Why," he answered, "1 was sent down here by a temper ance society in Kansas to distribute these tracts. Well, whenever I hand ed a man a tract he glanced over it, hauled out a revolver from one pocket and a quart bottle of whisky from the other and then said: 'Look here, you juBt have a drink of that, or my gun'll go off.' Would you believe it! I haven't had to pay for a drop of liquor since I came here to distribute teetotal tracts." Not Looking for Notoriety. No author of the day has been less photographed than Joseph Conrad, who has just published a book of sea stories. His publishers, when his book was about to come out, having failed to persuade him to face the camera for a new picture, hunted high and low throughout England and America for soma sort of likeness. Finally, in the files of an old English illustrated magazine, someone stum bled upon a small oval head of him, and it is from that half-tone, enlarged and retouched, that all pictures of Conrad recently published have been made. Light-Haired People Live Long. Light-haired people, it is said, as a rule lire longer than those having dark hair. NOT A POLYGAMIST. How BUhop Potter Filled Out an Of ficial Form. An army officer just returned from the Philippines tclio this story on Bishop Potter. When the bishop went out to Ma nila a year or two ago, on his arrival at the islands he was confronted by a formidable list of about thirty questions. The list, prepared by Uncle Sam for Chinese and native Filipinos was nevertheless bubmit ted Impartially to all comers. Gravely the bishop, as became his respect of forms, wrote down his name, age, occupation, place of birth. He did not even smile as he wrote "No" opposite the question "Have you any opium?" But the last question was too much. A look of mock pain crossed his fea tures. "Must I answer this?" he asked the examiner. The examiner nodded. And in the space opposite "Are you a polygamist?" the bishop grave ly wrote "Not yet." BEASTS BORl\ IN CAPTIVITY. Those That First Set the Light In Bristol, England, Ar the Best The birth of a litter of lions at Haslemere Park, a private menagerie In England, leads one of the English papers to note a fact that has for long puzzled biologists, and that is notori ous among those who interest them selves In the study of wild beasts in captivity, this being that nearly all the lion, tiger and leopard cubs born In that country have a cleit palate, which prevents them from be!ns properly suckled, and usually leads to their premature death. But, beyond this, a more astonishing i'*ct stilland one that also greatly puzzles biologistsis that which determines that of all the wild animals born in England those born in Bristol are regarded as the tlnest and as the most likely to live. So well known is this to professional Hhowmen and menagerie keepers that "Bristol born" is a recognized brand in 6ia wild animal fradcv FILARIA 18 A NEW DI3EASE. Responsible for the Death of Mar.y American Soldiers. Capt Charles Kleeffer, a United States army surgeon, saya the Phil ippines are infested with mosquitoes more troublesome an^ dangerous from a medical point of view than those that swarm in the Jersey swamps. A strange malady known as filaria is traced directly to them, and is com mon among the American soldiers quartered on the islands. Soldiers contract the disease by drinking water from stagnant pools in which the mosquitoes have laid their eggs. The drst indication of filaria ap pears in the form of a worm in the victim's thorax. This develops into elephantiasis, which causes the pa tient terrible pains, accompanied by a constant cough. The sufferer is worst at night, and the patient be comes a prey to insomnia. The only remedy lies in an opera tion, which In itself is dangerous and rarely successful. If the worm, which Is a female, is injured and dies through the operation, its poison gets into the blood, the disease is increased a thousandfold and the chances of re covery are small. For Those With Stomach Habit. A Philadelphia baker is authority fbr the assertion that the latest fad of dyspeptics is bread made with sea water, instead of fresh water. "It has a saltier taste,** he says, "than we are accustomed to, but it is very palatable. In fact, he who likes salty things is apt to like it better than the other kind of bread, A physician asked me about three months ago to make some of this bread for his patients. At first I made six loaves a day, but now I make thirty. My sea water comes up to me from Atlantic City three times a week. The dys peptics who buy the bread say it is the only ldnd they can eat fresh without discomfort." Lesson in Chaplain Milbum's Life. It was of the late William H. Mil burn, the blind preacher chaplain of the house, and afterward of the Senate, that William R. Morrison once said: "Mr. Mirtmrn is a man who fears God, hates the devil and votes the straight ticket" Mr. Mil burn's life illustrates what one can do in the face of hardships. He was totally blind before becoming of age, but became a Methodist clergyman, successful lecturer and author, keep ing at his work until a few months before his death at the age of eighty. The newspapers were read to him every day and he kept fully posted on passing events. Mrs. Morgan Not Fashionante. Mrs. J. Pierpont Morgan was "the cynosure of all eyes" at the recent election of the Colonial Dames at New York. Contrary to the expectations of those who did not know her it was found that she dresses simply and her cloth gown looked rusty. Her black hat was small and shapeless and a thick veil covered her face. The decision of the women who saw her was embraced in_the word "frumpy." Mrs. Morgan's disposition is exceed ingly retiring and whenever she ap pears in public she seems ill at ease. Point of view. "Hope springs eternal in the human breast," remarked the person with a mania for quotations. "Yes," rejoined the morbid party, "and I suppose that's why the pool of disappointment is always slopping over." TVie Art of the Palmist. The girl who was the picture of health came out of the palmist's booth with a startled expression on her face. "Do you know," she said to a bevy of girl friends"do you know, that palmist told me I was in perfect health. Nov. you know, I'm never ill but how could he tell that from looking at my hand?" And her filencls murmured, "How wonderful!" Spread of Irrigation Works. The government is to begin the con struction of irrigation works in five localities. The Sweetwater dam, Wy oming Mill river, Montana the Gun nison tunnel, Colorado Truckee, Nev., and Salt river,. Arizona. The cost of the five plants is estimated at $7,000,- 000 and they are expected to furnish water for 60,000 acres. Two Masters. In the primary class of a certain Sunday school the lesson was being reviewed by a visitor. When she finally asked for the Golden Text, a little boy on the hack row eagerly raised his hand and proudly repeated: "We cannot serve God and women." Little Chronicle. Monster Cake a Feature. At the ninety-ninth birthday cele bration of the Bible Society at the Guildhall, London, a few days ago the cake weighed ninety-nine pounds. The cake is an institution among the Juvenile collectors, and a pound is added to its weight every year. THE COLDEST WINTER- Somewhat Remarkable Experience in Duluth, Minn. In a little wayside h\a p* a small station some fifty miles west of Du luth a half-dozen men from various places chanced to meet reRently. The conversation opened with a remark concerning the weather, and from that drifted easily to the se verity of winters in the different parts of the Northwest One man, who came from the Twin Cities, told a sad story of frozen water pipes and other household in conveniences occasioned by the frigid weather there one February. Another recounted a tale of suffer ing endured by men and beasts on a North Dakota prairie during a bliz zard. Stories were thus told until five of the group had contributed in stances upon the subjeet. There was a pause In the conver sation until an Irishman, who sat a little apart from the others, quietly smoking a pipe, remarked: "Well, the coldest winter Oi iver put in was summer in Duluth. Full of Absentees. There was a larger attendance than nsual in the "Ame^ corner" at the Fifth Avenue hotel last night, and these we-e some of the interesting stories told: "Judge Qildersleeve," re marked George W. WauamaJcer, "was telling the other night of a laughable 'bull' made by Maj. Leach, once fa mous as the head of the Irish rifle team. The judge was visiting in Ire land and remarked: 'Major, is it true that much of the trouble In this little country of yours is caused by ab sentee landlords?' 'It is, sir,' re sponded the major. 'Sure, our little is land is full of them.*"New Tori Mail and Express* The One Thing Wrong. A foreigner went into one of Boa ton's bis hotels one Sun-day morning not long ago and asked for a typical Boston breakfast After some con ference with the bead waiter an espe cially nice breakfast -va% served, in cluding of course codfish balls, brown bread and pork and beans. The visitor ate with apparent relish, but after some minutes uummoned his marw "These beans are delicious," he said, "and the coffee could not be better, but"pointing to the codfish ball "you may remove tie little bun. There appears to be something dsad in It" Historic Portrait Spoiled. Among the best portraits in the white house previous to the recent "renovation was that of Mrs. Benja min Harrison by Daniel Huntington, for many years America's foremost portrait painter. In the "restoration" this portrait has been rehung to suit some modern Interpretation of the alleged original plan of the mansion by George Washington. In doing this the paint has been scratched and Bcraped. and In some Important spaces has been knocked off entirely. Worse than this, a hole about three inches long has been punched in the canvas. Pleasure in Doing Good. Rev. A. P. Doyle of New Yoito re marked the other day: "A woman who has an abundance of the good thing* of this world appreciates them all the more when she tries to uplift tha fallen or bring comfort to the heart broken, and it sweetens her enjoyment of God's gifts. On the other hand, there is no more useless creature on God'i earth than the woman of wealt* itvus for herself alon*" Columbia Is No More. Crookston, Minn., May 14. The writ of ouster has been served on the Columbia county officials, and that or ganization has ceased to exist The papers were served yesterday by Sher iff Sullivan of Polk county. His Suicide Succeeds. Hastings, Minn., May 14.The man who attempted suicide near Etter a few days ago died last evening at the hospital here. He said he was Edward Coffey and was of Mexican and Ameri can parenta&e. I t. I First Class Sample Room. aJck. umk Jm. tXm. JM. JOL REED CM D. Steece The Sign Mai\ Is here to stay, and is prepared to do all kinds of ut-to-dat Painting, Paperhang ing, Free Hand Relief Work, Kalsomin- AL WOR IS GUARANTEED DON'T FORGET TO SEE HIM BEFORE LETTING YOUR JOB. HE CAN SAVE YOU MONEY. LEAVE ORDERS AT BEAUDETTE'S TAILOR SHOP. C. D. STEECE THE SIGN MAN BEMIDJI, MINN. Mac's Mint Geo. McTaggart, Prop. Choice Wines, Liquors and Cigars. Beltrami Avenue. Bemidji, Minn. Prof. SEAT0N The Celebrated Scientific Palmist and Clairvoyant Has arrived and remains a short time only. The Professor is recognized by press and public as the foremost and most able Scientific Palmist and Clairvoyant before the American public, and he especially invites those to call who have been dis- appointed or deceived in the past by some incompe tent personthey will notice the difference be- tween an adept and a pretender. KRE YOU IN TROUBLE? Do you find that with all of your natural gifts and talents that you are baffled, discouraged and unsuccessful? If so, come and be advised and find out the cause of your bad luck, and how you can change your bad conditions to success, joy and happiness. Thous- ands live today to bless and give credit of their success and happi- ness to this wonderful man. Are you sick? If so, come to me- and I will tell you free of charge what ails you. I do not give medi- cine, but tell you how to be cured without asking a single question. Come and be convinced. Palmistry and Clairvoya-nt taught. Prof. Seaton is located at Roo 8 Remor Hotel REED & KNUTS0N Blacksmith and Wago Makers BEMIDJI, MINNESOTA & KNUTSON have opened a blacksmith and wagon shop one door south of The Pioneer, and are prepared to handle any and all work in their line and guarantee satisfaction to all comers. Mr. Reed makes a specialty of horseshoeing and general blacksmith work, and his work is too well known to need any introduction to the people of this vicinity. Mr. Knutson has been in the employ of the St. Hilaire Lumber company for four years, and comes well recommended by that company. Give the new firm a chance to show you what they can do, and you will not be disappointed REED & KNUTS0N_ Second door south of postoffice, BEMIDJI, MINN. Subscribe for the Daily and Weekly Pioneer The two best papers printed between Crookston and Bulutli Choicest Brands. i LAAAA AikA