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DUTIES OF "MY" DOCTOR.
Phyvlcians of Millionaires Must Be Up to Date. Such a man as Rockefeller or Mor gas is a life study for a physician, Mid the man who can keep in perfect ordwra human machine of vast Im portance in the community is worthy of Schwahian compensation. The big insurance companies are willing to employ a physician at $100,000 a year to keep either of the gentlemen mentioned alive ten years longer. "My" doctor in such a case must know what medicine to prescribe whenever Morgan or Rockefeller sneezes, frowns, swears, limps, groans, growls, thunders, kicks over the waste basket, smokes too many cigars, drinks too much water, eats too heartily of corned beet and cab bage, talks too much to his Bible ''lass, charges too small a commis sion for promoting--a trust otv rcor^ Sanizing a railroad, telegraphs sena tors to bold up anti-trust legislation, or commit, any other little indiscre iion that billionaire flesh is heir to. He must be familiar with the slight, est symptom and ready with his dose. New York Press. FOG AS A BEAUTIFIER. New York Society Woman Divulges Mrs. Langtry's Secret. Mrs. Langtry attended a reception in New York last week and roused much envy among fashionables who were present because of her beautiful complexion, which is really a marvel. Subsequently a rather faded beauty exclaimed: "How on earth does she do It? Why, she's 50 if she's a minute." Another grande dame, who spoke as though she knew, gave this explana tion: "It's Jersey, her birthplace. You know Mrs. Langtry spends six or eight weeks every season ov her farm there. She wears a short skirt and thick bootssometimes no boots at all goes about in a sunbonnet and lives like a farm gfrl. The fog of the island the rast" satnij, '-BA "9510UBOHs^qSjeti j*ptrBj3 o) uo ssaid JLvm oq :rBtr| )sj]q 2u]aanq siq qouonb pinoM. X9\a iXJ.% /UvatA. 13 iCuura ujBjunoj esoqM. ys QJU 2 V3ssp eq* uj sjsuo eqj eAoqB SujaaAoq 'iBnueisqusnu anq 'SujJte} WIS 'aSBJjui :ssan u9oS jo suojsnnj irjjA peiSuTBdsaq doajs oj JOIOO seAja Ysm nreajp ^UOISUBJI nq sj AJLOIQ 'Vinos Auung H u\ uisjujjssad Gas From Peat Not New. At the Motala steelworks in Sweden gas made from peat has been em ployed as fuel for more than twenty years past Llght-Halred People Live Long. Light-haired people, it is said, as a rule live longer than those having dark hair. ss^:wfTTr?:j!K3SEBE3EBasaEsnai & The largest and most complete stock of Furniture ever accu- mulated beneath any roof in Northern Minnesota, and at prices that will induce you to purchase CAME BACrv f-CR HIS OWN. How Wilkinson Was Outwitte*1 by a Brainy Tramp. When Wilkinson went to hl office, one day last week he felt calm and contented. He hadn't any need to worry about his wife's loneliness any more, for he had bought a capital watchdog for her. But, alas! when he arrived home his wife met him with the deplorable news that the dog had gone. ,A "Eh!" said Wilkinson, "did be break the chnin, then?" "No," she replied "but a great, ugly-coking tramp came here and actea so impudently that I let the dog loose. But instead of tearing the tramp to pieces the nasty dog went off with him." "Great Scott!" said Wilkinson, "that must have been tho tramp I bought bim from!" Danger in Big Guns. Recent accidents disabling some ot our best battleships offer rather start ling evidence of the weaknesses that are inherent in vessels of this type. For years inventive genius has been applied to contriving guns of bigger size and longer range than those used before, and each increase has added to the demands laid upon the strength of guns and turrets and their mobility in action. InevUABiy the line of safe ty has been passed And the result is shown in accider.ts which have caused loss r* life, besides exposing thG para doxical delicacy massive machin ery.Philadelphia Ncr .-.K/oer?can. The Modern Race After Wealth. The mania for money-making has developed into downright madnesa. And the explanation is easy. People see that it is fast becoming the chief, if not the only, standard of respecta bility. When Talleyrand was asked if he was not ashamed to sell his Influ ence in making treaties under the first empire he replied: "My friend, do you not see that there are but two things left in Francemoney and the guillotine?" We are rapidly ap proaching the period in our own his tory when there will be but two things left in Ajierh'8money and contume ly.Loaisviue Courier-JournaL Historic Portrait Spoiled. Among the best portraits In the white house previous to the recent "renovation' was that of Mrs. Benja min Harrison by Daniel Huntington, for many years America's foremost portrait painter. In the "restoration" this portrait has been renting to suit som modern inteipretation of the alleged original plan of the mansion by Gecrge Washington. In doing this the paint has been scratched and scraped and in some important spaces lias been knocked off entirely. Worse than this, a hole about three inches 'org has been roiiu'bed in vb* canvas. L, NAYL THE FURNITURE MM N W Don't want Al of Your Money OLD HIS SHOOTING BOOTS, Man Fooled His Wife on the Price, But the Result Was Sad. Banks knew very well tnat he could not afford to pay S20 for a pair of shooting boots, but he reasoned with himself, after the sophistical manner of those who knew the joys af ex travagance, that his twice-a-year trip to hie Long Island club for two days of duck shooting was really the only luxury he allowed himself and his economies in other directions deserv ed reward. So Banks bought the boots, and told his wife a nice little story about a friend who had struck a bargain in boots and had let him have a pair "for practically nothing." The boots were not worth much anyhow, he carelessly explained, and congratulat ed himself on having safely and sagaciously handled a delicate situa tion. When Banks came back from his next shooting trip he was tired and sleepy, and threw his new boots, ail muddy as they were, into a closet, to be cleaned when he should have more energy. "And what do you think happened to those boots!" he said two days later to a group of sympathetic friend on 'change. "A junk peddler came around the next day and my wife sold him my $20 boots for fifty cents. She knew th*7 were of no special value, as I had said so, and thought she'd done well to get fifty cents tor them." "And what did you say?" asked one man, betwixt pity and amusement. "SayT What could I say? I be came hysterical."New York Mail and Express NOT A rOLYGAMlST. Hew Bishop Potter Filled Out an Of ficial Form. An army officer just returned from the Philippines teJ vjjis story on Bishop Pottr. When tb( bishop went out to Ma nila a year or two ago, on his arrival at the islands he was confronted by a formidable list of about thirty questions. The list, prepared by Uncle Sam for Chinese and native Filipinos was nevertheless submit ted impartially to all comers. Gravely the bishop, as became his respect of forms, wrote down his name, age, occupation, place of birth. He did no- even smile as he wrote "No" opposite the question "Have you any opium?" But the last question was too much. A look of mock pain crossed his fea tures. "Must I answei ihls?" he asked the examiner. The examiner nodded. And in the space opposite "Are you a polygamist?" the bishop grave ly wrote "Not yet." uMjnwumii umi-um*mr**,Tmm-imxfintwt THOUSANDS O VISITORS VvVVVVW will be in Bemidji this week, and they are all invited to call on MkLTINQ OLD PLATES. Ton* of Those Used for Printing Money to Serve Ship BaUaat, This was "melting day" at the Bu reau of Engraving and Printing. All the plates, rolls and dies u. ed in print ing gold and silver certificates, postage and revenue stamps, bonds and postal cards during 1901 were loaded early this morning en two big trucks. Al though the precaution had been taken to spoil the face of each plate with a file, four strapping employes of the Treasury Department rode on each truck. A. Treasury committee rode in a carriage. The procession went to the Navy yara foundry, where the plates were unceremoniously dumped into one of the furnaces, to r*ome out as pig steel and to be used for ballast for war ships. There were twenty tons of piates, rolls and dies, from which were printed last year $2,200,000,000 in gold an li strver -lertlficates of- various- denominations, and ?S89/)00,00Q postage stamps, besides hundreds of millions of bonds, revenue stamps and postal cards. The engravers are now at work on the plates, rolls and dies for 1903. Those in use now will be destroyed next February.New York World. Teetotalism in Texas. When Gen. Horace Porter was it Texas he ca.ne ..ess a man who went about telling everybody, in great surprise, that he "had struck a big thing here." "What's the matter?" people asked. "Why," he answered, "I was sent down hsre by a temper ance society in Kansas to distribute these tracts. Well, wherever I hand ed a man a tract he glanced over it, hauled out a revolver from one pocket and a quart bottle of whisky from the other and then said: 'Look here, you just have a drink of that, or my gunll go off.' Would you believe It! 1 haven't had to pay for a drop of liquor since I came here to distribute teetotal tracts." Not Looking for Notoriety. No author of the day has been less photographed than Joseph Conrad, who has just published a book of sea stories. His publishers, when his book was about to come out, having failed to persuade him to face the camera.for a new picture, hunted high and low throughout England and America for som0 Mean to Enforce Sabnath Laws. Sheriff Cummings of Lewiston Me., has undertaken a partial enforcement of the .old blue laws by compelling the confectionery shop owners to shut up on Sunday. These storekeepers are charging discrimination and now threaten to serve papers upon the sheriff in an action which will force him to carry his crusade even further and enforce to the very letter all the famous old purity statutes. This will mean, as is their purpose, that busi ness and labor of all klrds must ceai upon the Sabbath, ana even the newsboys will be driven from the streets and the electric cars prevfc-* ed from operating. Rising American Oarsman. A young man with the poetic name of Fernand Demoruelle, son of a for mer police commissioner of New Or leans, will be the representative of the Young Men's Gymnastic club of that city to compete -.n REEDl sort of likeness. Finally, In the files of an old English illustrated magazine, someone stum bled upon a small oval head of him, and it is fi-om that half-tone, enlarged and retouched, that all pictures of Conrad recently published have ?jeen made. the trying out of the American oarsmen on Harlem river, New York, on the occasion of the Harlem regatta. If he succeeds in passing he \ill be one of the com petitors for the diamond sculls to be warded at the Royal Henley regatta in England. Mr. Demoreulle has made an enviable reputation at the Cres cent city as an oarsman. Specialists in Demand. One of America's most successful oculists, Dr. Critchett, a specialist, re fused $35,000 to go to India to oper ate on a powerful native prince, and Dr. Gelezowski of Paris got $25,00l for ridding the second son of the late shah of Persia of a troublesome eye. A certain duchess paid $25,000 "to a London specialist for eliminating a trouble which seriously threatened her beauty. Dr. Sheldon of New York, for curing the daughter of a Standard oil magnate, received se curities worth in the open market $87,000. Who would not like to be a specialist at these figures? A Chinese Innovation. Some foreign clothing has been tak en into the palace at Pekin for the emperor and empress dowager to try on, so that they may come to some decision regarding its introduction in official circles. Should the emperor and empress dowager sanction the wearing of foreign costumes by the court an unprecedented departure *ttl have been taken. In no way is the conservatism of the Chinese shown more strongly than by their adherence to their national dress, even wheE living in Western countries. Women Want Palace Cars. Society women in New Orleans have begun a movement to have the street railway company put on palace cars for their convenience and comfort. They say they can not ride in the present cars when they are in after noon or evening dress, as the cars are dirty and there is no telling who their aeatmate may be. They do not mind paying extra fares for the use of I vlusive cars. Prof. SEAT0NII" The Celebrated Scientific Palmist and Clairvoyant Has arrived and remains a short time only. The Professor is recognized by press and public as the foremost and most able Scientific Palmist and Clairvoyant before the American public, and he especially invites those to call who have been dis- appointed or deceived in the past by some incompe tent personthey will notice the difference be- tween an adept and a pretender. ARE YOU IN TROUBLE? Do you find that with all of your natural gifts and talents that you are baffled, discouraged and unsuccessful? If so, come and be advised and find out the cause of your bad luck, and how you can change your bad conditions to success, joy and happiness. Thous- ands live today to bless and give credit of their success and happi- ness to this wonderful man. Are you sick? If so, come to me and I will tell you free of charge what ails you. I do not give medi- cine, but tell you how to be cured without asking a single question. Come and be convinced. Palmistry and Clairvoyant taught. Prof. Seaton is located at Roo 8 Remore Hotel REED & KNUTS0N Blacksmith and Wagon Makers BEMIDJI, MINNESOTA & KNTJTSON have opened a blacksmith and wagron shop one door south of The Pioneer, and are prepared to handle any and al work in their line and guarantee satisfaction to all comers. Mr. Reed makes a specialty of horse'shoeing1 and his wor.k is too' well known to need any introduction to the people of this vicinity. Mr. Knutson has been in the employ of the St. Hilaire Lumber company for four years, and comes well recommended by that company. Give the new firm a chance to show you what they can do, and you will not be disappointed REED & KNUTSON Second door south of postoffice, BEMIDJI, MINN. C. D. Steece The Sign Man Is here to stay, and is prepared to do all kinds of iro-to-date Painting, Paperhang ing, Free Hand Relief Work, Kalsomin ing, Etc AL WOR IS GUARANTEED DON'T FORGET TO SEE HI BEFORE LETTING VOIR JOB. HE CAN SAVE YOU MONEY. LEAYE ORDERS AT BEALDETTES TAILOR SHOP. CD. STEECE THE SIGN MAN BEMIDJI, MINN. First Class Sample Room. Choicest Brands. Mac's Mint Geo. McTaggart, Prop. Choice Wines, Liquors and Cigars. Beltrami Avenue. Bemidji, Minn. Subscribe for the Daily and Weekly Pioneer The two best papers printed between Crookston and Duhrtli and general blacksmith work, 4 4 A 4 3 4 4 I i 3 4