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SPINNING WHEEL. T11K WIXDYVILLERS AGAIN. Tho friendly ne.vbors cnme to rest, Within fho village store, Where Tei kins de'It out kalikcr /Ami siiffiu- fnr galore. An' us thoy sidled cosily with faces bloom in' Jtosily, au "howdy do's" of jjreeliu' To the 'lected place of nieetin'— Amuziuh Zch'sul Tlpkins took the middle of the floor. "Thnr hain't 110 sense hit reason," Ne«j 'Mnziali with a wink. "Why other folks should kick ug'in Jest what a man'll drink." An then lie ambled loftly willi PerUins creepiu' Softly down the old stairs a'creakin' Where the cider was a-leakln' rrmu the l)arrel thatw as bustin' from the spigot to the sink. Then ilczekiali Slocum took A iierrin' from the pail. An' peeled it frum the gizzard To the nether end of tail An' leanin' casual he sighed: "In Kenne blink yor see They dried the codfish 011 the sandy rteaeh. b'gosh! where all was handy— uP»t liei'c they fasten herrin" down—an' do it. with a nail." Said Perkins, the proprietor. When rtl! sed an' done: "Say, Azarial l'eterkins, t'lmsaniin' of yer son— 's slipt in debt l"r cigarettes an' other 1 hin's To pay his debts—I wonder can you pony "ei ly-live cents—thanks. 1 011'y Mi lishnned tliis here slight occurrence the cash 1ehlnd lias run." Hcrace Seymour Keller ill New York Sun. Few .shrewder students of human na ture exist than the little donkey boys so familiar to the Egyptian tourists. The tourist of course has done much to quick en this shrewdness. Few persons have Mich opportunities to study the various points and characteristics of so many different races and nationalities. The donkey boy who speaks less than half a dozen languages is the exception. Inci dent silly he doesn't amount to much as a donkey hoy. success in that profession depending largely upon one's ability to address a tourist in the hitter's own tongue. The names of the donkeys vary with the nationality of the Tourist. The identical animal which, when mounted lv Miss Knickerbocker, responds to the name "McKinley." answers to "(ilad stone" when an English girl is upon his hack, or "Bismarck" when the rider is 1'rau or fraeiilein. An American woman in Egypt this last season, upon asking her donkey hoy the name of her beast, was promptly told "Gladstone." "Oh, 110, not Gladstone," replied the American, who had been in Egypt long enough to know the tricks of the tourist trade, and who, by the way. is one of the very few Americans who know how to speak their own language. The donkey boy looked up quickly. "Xot Bismarck, lady?" he half-questioned. "You 110 German." "No, not Bismarck," returned the Amer ican "I'm 110 German." The donkey hoy looked puzzled. "Donkey's name not Gladstone, not Bismarck," he repeated. "You 110 English, lady: you no German. What are you. lady??" "IV" said the ourist, "I'm 1111 American." The donkey hoy langhed. "Oh, no you 110 'Merican, lady," he said, incredulously "yon no," pinching his nostrils together with a pair of grimy lingers—"you no talk through your nose."—New York Evening Sun. "The man is a driveling idiot," said the trust magnate. "A plumb fool." agreed the coal baron. "An unmitigated lunatic," assented the steel king. "Crazy as a March hare," asseverated the great financier. "A hopeless imbecile," asserted the power in Wall street. "Absolutely and utterly devoid of sense," chimed in the senator. "As brainless as a barrel," added the corporation laAvyer. "But what has he done7" asked the ordinary citizen. The crowd was convulsed with laugh ter. "Why, he says." they replied, choking and gurgling, "he actually says that money isn't everything."—Alex. Uicketts, in Smart Set. A good story conies from Houston, Tex., on Samuel Martin, an auctioneer, and whose home is in Milwaukee. The story goes that Mr. Martin was selling a line of fine jewelry and in the course of the sale put. up a fine $300 diamond ring. A frisky and excitable dog was so carried away with th'e sight of the jewel and Mr. Martin's words that he stood 011 his hind legs, frisked about, barking joyously. Suddenly Mr. Mar tin let the ring slip from his fingers, and the dog at the same instant leaped up ward with a joyous bark. The ring and the dog met in the middle, and in some way the ring flopped right into the dog's mouth. The bark was cut in two in the middle and »he dog was almost stran gled. When he recovered, the ring was in the dog's anatomy. The crowd stood paralyzed over the seeming loss of the ring. All except Mr. Martin, who immediately grabbed up the animal and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have here probably the most valuable dog in the world. He is quite eccentric, feeds on diamonds, and, as he is now, I will warrant he is one of the most valuable slices of dog meat to to be found anywhere. He is also a combination dog—if you don't want him to catch rats ov use him as a lap dog, you can convert him into a jewelry cas ket. which I will guarantee is burglar proof. No safecracker can work the combination 011 this dog. Now, ladies and gentlemen, how much am I offered for this burglar-proof, combination-jew el ry-casket. and house dog?" It is sail1 the dog's owner purchased him for the full value of the diamond. Mr. Martin, however, says the story is a joke of the worst sort.—Evening Wis consin. The colonel of a British regiment, of whom Good Words tells, was noted for his precision and love of order. One day, after parade, he complained to his band master. "Jenkins," said he, "the trom bone players are spoiling the appearance of the entire battalion. 'Ow so. sir?" Jenkins asked. "Not enough uniformi ty," replied the colonel. "You must see in future that the men move those slid ing things in and out together." Mr. Green of Wichita, Ivas., who Uas just celebrated his ninety-sixth birthday, was a neighbor of Martin Van Buren, whom he disliked. He saw7 and talked with a man who witnessed the famous ride of Gen. Putnam and who said that Putnam did not ride down the steps, but descended a hill beside them. He knew Aaron Burr. Admiral Decatur. President Jackson and Santa Ana. His boyhood (•hum was a cabin boy to John Paul Jones, the famous sea fighter. "The last time I took a drink," said Mr. Green, "was the day Franklin Pierce was elect ed. Myself and three others went into a tavern and set 'em up. The round cost me 12 cents. In those days whisky was good ind it didn't cost much. After I drank my jigger I turned around to the boys and said: 'That is my last drink.' They laughed, but I have kept the pledge ever since." Referring to his dislike of Van Buren, he says: "Maybe it is be cause I knew him so familiarly. He looked too much like a wolf to suit me." The Classical Cannibal.—"But why," asked the sub-chief of the Cannibal isles, "do you insist upon having the man who fell while Icadiug the charge against us mm served up at the banquet this evening? He seems to be hard as nails." "Huh!" answered the chief of the Can nibal isles, "I read in'" a book of poetry left by our last meal that 'the bravest are the tendertst.' "—Baltimore Ameri can. "Now," said the Northern visitor, "if there was a colored man in your com munity w"ho had proved himself to be a law-abiding, sensible man, would you not give him a lift?" "Well, suh," replied the Southerner, "his chances of being lifted wouldn't be so very strong. We don't generally lynch that kind, suh."—Philadelphia Press. Progressi,ng.-"How are yon getting 011 with your new house, Maude?" "Oh! just splendid. Harry is letting me select all the colors for the parlor, drawing room, dining room and bedrooms, and aft er he gets some money he's going to see somebody about building it!"—Baltimore News. There is a young man downtown, re ports the Philadelphia llecord. who has the trick, or habit, of saying: "Since you press nie." O11 being offered a cigar he answers smilingly: "Well, since you press nie. I will, thanks." and to an in vitation to luncheon, to tile theater or to ••1 drink h.s answer is always the same: "Since you press nie, I believe I will." It happens that he is engaged to be mar ried, and that his fiancee has a little brother. This !ad has heard often and with much wonderment the phrase. "Since you press me," used 011 till sorts of occasions and ihe other night at a dinner party in his house, when, unfor tunately there were some strangers pres ent. he pointe-l his knife at the young man and said, 111 his loud, childish treble to his fat In r: "Papa, why is Mr. Blank always a-sayin' to sister, 'Since you squeeze me: Ascum—''Isn't that man a city li-.il! Otllci:'.!?" .1oakley—"Ye: annual report? statements." 1 iln't you It is full of read im weeiinj. Ascuni—"Tln'.t so? Who is he?" Joakley—"Chief of the Street Cleaning bureau."—Philadelphia Press. He—"Darling, tell me truly, does the faet that I weijgh 100 pounds less than you make any difference in your love for nie?" She—"Of course not. dearest, but some times I would like to know how it feels to sit in your lap."—Brooklyn Life. The telephone girl and the bill clerk, to whom she had promised her heart ami hand, were sitting in front of the fire place talking about the hapoy days to conic when they would be one. From one little detail to another the talk finally drifted to the subject of light ing the fires in the morning. O11 this point the young man ..was decided. He stated it as his emphatic opinion that it was a wife's place to get up and start the fires and let her poor, hard-worked husband rest. After this decision there was a silence for the space of about three-quarters of a second. Then the telephone girl thrust out the linger encircled by her engage ment ring and murmured sweetly, but firmly: "Ring off, please. You have got con nected with the wrong number."—Salt Lake Herald. Teacher—"What zone is this in which we live?" Johnny—"Temp'rate." Teacher—"Correct. Now. what is meant by a 'temperate zone?' Johnny—"It's a place where it's freez in' cold in winter an' red hot in sum mer."—Philadelphia Press. She Preferred It.—He—"It is better for us quietly to live apart, without the scandal of a divorce." She—"I don't agree with you. My social position is not so strong at present that I can af ford to neglect any means to make it bet ter."—Brooklyn Life. This is purely a conversational joke heard in Washington. A correspondent, quoting it. adds that it gives it away to write it, but *he writing may be worth while if only to show how grave and rev erend senators sometimes get down to earth. One senator meets another in a cloakroom, "By the way. senator," the second senator thinks he hears the first senator say, "where would you go if you waivted a housemaid?" "Ah." the sec ond senator replies. "I should go to a 11 employment agency, but Mrs. Senator usually attends to that sort of thing." "Indeed!" says the first senator, "I mere ly wanted to know. For myself I should go to a carpenter and builder." Then the second senator realizes that the first senator said "house made" and'they eat a piece of pie over it. "No old Mr. Adoniram Tal't did not precisely doubt the efficacy of prayer." "Howsumever," said he, "I notice thet them thet's forever prayin' fer rain or else prayin' fer it tew quit rainin' don't seem tew git nuthin' much done, some how!"—Punch. Maude—"Gaskell thinks he is a regu lar lady killer." Esther—"I shouldn't wonder. I had to talk with him last evening, and I really thought I should die, lie wearied me so."—Boston Transcript. Antidote for Tragedy.—Winks—"Come along, old boy. I've got two compliment ary tickets for a dramatic performance." Jinks—"Tragedy or comedy?" "Trage dy.". "I don't like tragedies. They ap peal so strongly to one's Sympathies that I always feeLblne for a week." "This one won't. You'll come home as jolly as if you'd been to a circus. It's by ail amateur company."—New York Weekly. Deep Respect.—"You must always have the greatest respect for your parents," said the benevolent stranger. "I have." answered the boy with freckles. "Why. either one of them can whip me with one hand."—Washington -Star. A traveler getting outside of St. Pe tersburg discovered when he tried to re enter the city that lie had left liis pass port in the bedroom of his hotel. The guards refused to let him pass refused to send for the passport. "According to you," said he, "the only thing for me to do is to throw myself in the Neva!" "No!" said the sentry, "suicide in Rus sia is strictly against the law." "Some men," said Uncle Eben, "seems built in such a way dat dey nebber seems to be puttin' forward deir bigges' efforts 'ceppin' when dey's headin' foh trouble." —Washington Star. All in Knowing How.—She—"I often wonder how you manage to dasli off those exquisite little poems of yours. And what a lot of money you must make!" The Poet—"Oh, it's very easv. I sit down, say in January, and think un til about August or September. Then in November or December when the poem is completed, I sell it for $5, or sometimes as high as $10."—Life. :o: Crush—"There was a crush at the wed ding, I suppose?" "Crush? Why, the ushers had to form a flying wedge in order to get the bridal party up to the altar!"—Life. 1 [GREAT COLLECTION OF CACTI. Specimens from All Over the World to be Shown in Pittsburg. Superintendent Falconer of Selienley park is busy arranging for the stocking of the new cacti house which Ilenry [Phipps has offered to add to the conserv atory. According to Mr. Falconer it will be more than twice as large as any cacti house in America, and he is making ev ery effort to place in it the most- complete exhibit of cacti in the world. The house will be exactly similar to the other wings, a curvilinear structure, 75 by 30 feet, built on a framework of iron with a stone wall supporting the glasswork. It will extend out 011 the thirty-foot passage between the Vic toria house and the palm lionse, parallel with the west wing, where the rose show7 is located at Easter. It is hoped to have the structure completed and tilled by the end of October and probably in time for the chrysanthemum show. Supt. Falconer now has correspon dents in the West Indies, Florida, Northern and Southern California, Colo rado. Nevada, II tali, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and Mexico trying to ar range for the gathering and shipping of the plants during the summer months. Some one from this city may be sent out to these countries Avith a view to studying the plants in their native wilds, and to arrange for the collecting and shipping. The gathering of these plants is an un dertaking of great difficulty, as most of the best specimens are found in the des ert and mountain regions, in many cases almost inaccessible, and must be traiis ported 011 the backs of burros from 75 to 100 miles to reach a railroad. I11 addition to plants known as strictly cactus others of a succulent nature, such as century plants, yuccas, bitter aloes, and flesh'- Euphorbias w'1' he placed in the cacti house. Trailing over the stonework, next to the pathway, will be the perennial ice plant (mesembryan themuni), so abundant 111 the California gardens, but which comes from South Africa. No benches will be in the house, but it will be mounded and undulated in a natural way and the beds elevated by tufa stone. Cacti from the northern climates will be placed at the colder end of the house, while those from southern countries will be in the warmer end. in order to give them their natural climate as nearly as possible.—Pittsburg Dis patch. Gasu-Basil, a New Anesthetic. A new local anesthetic obtained from an Indian plant, called "gasu-basu," has recently been submitted to careful exam ination by some Hungarian dentists. The anesthetic action of this substance was discovered a year ago by a dentist in Flume, Dr. D. Dalma, who tried the ef fect of gasu-basu in cases of painful pul pitis, and recommended it as a powerful agent which might replace arsenic iu the treatment of that condition. Dr. Dalma also separated the active principle of the plant, which proved to be an alkaloid, and in his later experiments he used the salt obtained by treating the alkaloid with hydrochloric acid. This salt has been named "liervocidine." In weak so lutions (one-tenth or one-twenteitli per cent.) nervocidine produced a marked lo cal anesthesia of the cornea of warm blooded animals. Two drops of a one twentieth per cent, solution applied to the human conjunctiva produced a burn ing sensation accompanied by lacryma tion and followed after twenty minutes by anesthesia of the cornea lasting for five hours. After seven hours the cornea regained its normal condition. A one tenth per cent, solution of nervocidine brushed over the mucous membrane of the cheek caused local anesthesia of the, brushed surface and of the tongue, ac companied by loss of the sensation of taste and the perception of touch, but without loss of the perception of heat and cold.—Lancet. Many School Children Are Sickly. Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children, used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's Home, New York, break up Colds in 24 hours, cure Feverishness, Headache, Stomach Trouble, Teething Disorders and Destroy Worms. At all druggists', 25c. Sample mailed FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. —Ostrich farming is to be tried on the Riviera if the birds can be acclimated. An experimental farm will be started with twenty ostriches, which have al ready arrived at Nice. J1~X% 'f .. V- v'" Wr\\' "O ••. /A r- -s, mrnmm the west side of Brock's Age is 114 Years. sacs* yXr. Li- 4 A Born before United States was formed. Saw 22 Presidents elected. Pe-ru-na has protected him from all sudden changes. Veteran of four wars. Shod a horse when 99 years old. Always conquered the grip with Pe-ru-na. Witness In a land suit at age of 110 years. Believes Pe-ru-na the greatest remedy of the age for catarrhal diseases. ICounty, SAAC BROCK, a citizen of McLennan Texas, lias lived for 114 years. For many years he resided at Bosque Falls, eighteen miles west of Waco, but now lives with his son-in-law at Valley Hills, Texas. 11 —California has almost a monopoly of the cultivation of apricots in the United States. MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP for Children teething softens the gums, reduces In flammation. allays pain, cures wind colic. 23 cents a bottle. —The cotton crop of the United States now almost equals in value its wheat crop. If you tire of Buckwheat, try Mrs. Aus tin's famous Pancake Flour for change made from the great food cereals. —Drunkenness is said to be diminish ing in Italy. THE CHILDREN ENJOY Life out of doors and out of the fames which they play and the enjoy ment which they receive and the efforts which they make, comes the: greater part of that healthful development which is so essential to their happiness when grown. "When a laxative is needed the remedy which is given to them to cleanse and sweeten and strengthen the internal organs on which it acts, should be such as physicians would sanction, because its component parts are known to be wholesome and the remedy itself free from every objectionable quality. The one remedy which physicians and parents, well-informed, approve and recommend and which the little ones enjoy, because of its pleasant flavor, its gentle action and its beneficial effects, is— Syrup of Figs—and for the same reason it is the only laxative which should be used by fathers and mothers. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy which acts gently, pleasantly and naturally without griping, irritating, or nauseating and which cleanses the system effectually, without producing that constipated habit which results from the use of the old-time cathartics and modern imitations, and against which the children should be so carefully guarded. If you would have them grow to manhood and womanhood, strong, healthy and happy, do not give them medicines, when medicines are not needed, and when nature needs assistance in the way of a laxative, give them only the simple, pleasant and gentle—Syrup of Figs. Its quality is due not only to the excellence of the combination of the laxative principles of plants with "pleasant aromatic syrups and juices, but also to our original method of manufacture and as you value the health of the little ones, do not accept any of the substitutes which unscrupulous deal ers sometimes offer to increase their profits. The genuine article may be bought anywhere of all reliable druggists at fifty cents per bottle. Please to remember, the full name of the Company s- 4 "wf 3- CALIFORNIA FIG SYR.UP CO.- THE OLDEST MAN IN AMERICA MR. ISAAC BROCK, BORN IN BUNCOMBE CO., N. C., MARCH 1, 1788. His age is 114 years, vouched for by authentic record. He says "I attribute tny extreme old age to the use of Pe-ru-na." A short time ago, by request, Uncle Isaac came to Waco and sat for his pic ture. In his hand he held a stick cut from the grave of General Andrew .fack- "One of the things 1 have found out Tells How He Escaped the Terrors of Many Winters by Using Pe-ru-na. son, which has been carried by him ever since. Mr. Brock is a .dignified old gen tleman, showing few signs of decrepitude. His family Bible is still preserved, and it shows that the date of his birth was writ ten 114 years ago. Surely a few words from this remark able old gentleman, who has had 114 years of experience to draw from, would be interesting as weil as profitable. A lengthy biographical sketch is given of this remarkable old man in the Waco Times-Herald, Dec. 4, 1898. A still more pretentious biography of this, the oldest living man, illustrated with a double col umn portrait, was given the readers of the Dallas Morning News, dated Dec. 11, 1898, and also the Chicago Times-Herald of same date. This centenarian is an ar dent friend of Peruna, having used it many years. In speaking of his good health and ex treme old age, Mr. Brock says: "After a man has lived in the world as long as I have,: lie ougllt-to'have found out a great many things by experience. I think I have done so. NO MORE DRINKING KILLS APPETITE FOR LIQUOR A home cure without patient's knowledge. indorsed by leading temperance people. PROF. KOCH'S INTEMPERANCE REMEDY For sale everywhere. By mail $1.00. The Koch Pharmaceutical Co., Berlin aud X. Y. THE A. SPIEGEL CO., Agts., Milwaukee, Wis. AGEXTS WANTED. WE WAXT hustling men to represent us in the sale of our goods. For terms address THE HAWKS NURSERY CO.. Milwaukee, Wis. S-AifriCs c_ eHQ 1 /v, V, ,«••• •«. WA- I is printed on to my entire satisfaction is the proper remedy for ailments that are due direct' ly to the effects of the climate. For 114 years 1 have withstood the change* able climate of the United States. "I have always been a very healthy man, but of course subject to the little affections which are due to sudden changes in the climate and temperature. During my long life I have kaow ii a great many remedies for coughs, colds, and diarrhoea. "I had always supposed these affec tions to be different diseases. For the last ten or fifteen years I have been read ing Dr. Hartman's writings. I have learn ed much from his books, one thing in particular: that these affections are the same and that they are properly called catarrh. "As for Dr. Hartman's remedy, Pe ru-na, 1 have found it to be the best, if not the only, reliable remedy for these affections. It has been my stand by for many years, and I attribute my good health and extreme old age to this remedy. "It exactly meets all my requirements. It protects me from the evil effects of sudden changes it keeps me in good ap petite it gives me strength it keeps my blood in good circulation I have come to rely upon it almost entirely for' the many little things for which I need med icine. "I believe it to be valuable to old people, although I Lave no doubt it is just as good for the young. I should be glad if my sincere testimony should be come the means of others using this rem edy, because I believe it to be the great est remedy of this age for catarrhal dis eases. "When epidemics of la grippe first be gan to make their appearance in this country I was a sufferer from this dis ease. "I had several long sieges with the grip. At first I did not know that Pe ru-na was a remedy for this disease. When 1 heard that la grippe was epidemic catarrh, I tried Pe-ru-na for la grippe and found it to be Just the thing. "It has saved mo several times from a siege of the grip. I feel perfectly safe from this terrible malady so long as I have Peruna at hand. I hope that Dr. Hartman may livfe to be as old as I am, to continue the good work of teaching people the value of his great remedy, Peruna. Very truly yours, For a free book on catarrh, address The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, O. If you do not derive prompt and Satis factory results from the use of Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a. full statement of your case, and, lie will be pleased to give y.ou his valuable ad vice gratis. Address Dr. Hartman, President of the Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio. BILIOUSNESS indigestion, colic andall disorders ofthe stomach, liver and kidneys are speedily cured by 20 onrro RITMEIER'S FATHER JANSEN TEA prepared from the original re on a Father Jansen. Endorsed by physicians. Price 25o per package, five packages for $1.00 at all druggists, or sent, charge* prepaid, on receipt of price by WM. RITMEIER REMEDY CO. MILWAUKEE. WIS. 150 Kinds for 16c. a fact that Sailer's vegetable and flower aeeis ara found in more gardens 1 and on more farms fh&ti any otlier in America. Then is reason for thin. We own and operate oyer (COO acres for the production of our choice seeds, in Order to induce yon to try them we make the following unprec edented offer: For IS Cents Postpaid4 to r»ra« iMClrai radil&tf, •iffalStml nHM ulni, l« Mrti I—slin, li Mlm itlMbi, It iplndM beet Mrti, •i bwatlfal fewer Hri, in all 160 kinds poetttrelT fonusiiinc bushels of charming flowers and, lots and lots of elioice vegetables./ together with our great catalogue/ tcQing all aitout Teoslnto and Pea Oat and Brosinsand Spelts, onioii seedat soc. a pound, etc., all only for 14c. in stamps. Write to-day. JOHN A. SALZER SEED CO.. la CrosM, Wis. SEND US FOUR NAMES of heads of families, and 10c ^iiver or stamps and we will send you charges p.iid the Latest Nov elty,a beiintiful Imported Jap anese Bamboo Easel, that retails lor 50c, SCHREITER & SCHIMMEL CO. 313*315 Grand Ave.. Milwaukee. Wis. Furniture. Carpets. Draperies and Wall Paper. PIKES PEAK SOLE PRESERVER Saves expense of half-soling, makes shoes, mit tens wear twice (is long absolutely waterproof. 80ct*. by mail. Stamps taken. Levering, lit W. Rio Grande, Colorado Springs, Colorado. A 'WEEK Straight salary and ex penses to men with rig to introduce 'oultry Mixture In coantry year's con- Ik« Dr. JrintM Tu Headache, prtpfpsia ft Indigestion aak your drnggjat ndVeforpkg. E.M.Stapleton,WatwtowaVwis EtCHOP M. N. U... WHEN No.6,1902 wnmrw TO Aovnrnsats Ihmnry- «w the MvmUnmit tathlraaaer* .: Tjj