The great West. [volume], November 29, 1889, Image 6

About The great West. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1889-18??

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THE REVOLUTION.
Jin Interesting Sketch of the
Revolution and its Prin
cipal Figures.
How the New Republic Was
-Established by Fonseca
rand His Troops.
"Rio Janeiro, Special.—All the pensions
by the imperial government have
been confirmed by the provisional govern
aient, and an order has been issued that they
be paid out of the revenues. A decree will
be issued shortly making numerous changes
•in Uie personnel of the government office
> holders and naming the officials who have
been appointed to succeed those who will
‘he removed. The greater number of
■officials who served under the
«aiperor have announced their al
legiance to the new government.
An ovation was given to the ministers of
Uruguay and the Argentine Republic last
niglii upon their recognition of the re
public. The Brazilian parliament, under
‘the new government, will meet early in
December to elect a president of the re
public.
THE REPUBLIC NOT RECOGNIZED,
’Wammngton, Special.—Referring to a
cablegram from Brazil that the United
States had instructed Minister Adams to
recognize the provisional government, an
official of the state department said to
day that the situation remains as
it was a few days ago. Minister Adams sus
tains amicable relations with the provisonal
government, but formal recognition is a
thing of the future. The All-Americas con
ference committee on credentials has con
sidered the credentials of the Brazilian
delegation at Washington, and it is gath
ered there will be no objection to ijs admis
sion on Monday.
TIIE NEW BRAZILIAN FLAG.
Dondon, Special—The haste of the vari
ous powers to send naval vessels to Rio Ja
adro, notwithstanding the reports that
everything in the new republic is peaceful,
'would indicate that they have
greater faith in their own abil
ity to protect their respective
interests in Brazil than they have in the
ability of the new government to protect
itself. Nobody now doubts that the em
pire is a thing of the past, but not every
body will yet believe that the republic has
come to stay, at least not without
hard fighting to escape the dan
gers of anarchy and disintegra
tion. The news received from Lisbon
late last night indicated that the reports
representing danger of a revolution in
Xtortngal were greatly exaggerated and
based merely on the vaporings ofirresponsi
!ble persons thrown off their mental balance
r by heated discussion of the Brazilian situa
tion.
PROTECTION Or GERMANY.
Berlin, Special.—Hope is generally ex
pressed here that in the event of
.the Brazilian states becoming split
mp, the 200.000 Germans in Southern
'Brazil will ask Germany for protection. It is
• not improbable that attempts will be made,
with assistance of the colonial party in
Germany, to secure the partial if not the
eomple&e independence of the German set
. tiers rn Brazil, whether the states disinteg
rate or not.
THE BRAZILIAN BOULANGER.
The Establishment of the New Bra
zilian Government by Fonseca and
His T roops.
The civil and military revolution in
Brazil, which has resulted in the deposition
of Emperor Dom Pedro 11. and the estab
lishment of a provincial republic, is one ol
(he most remarkable national transitions
•THE DEPOBED MONARCH.
-eif the present century. It may yet prove
by far the most notable event that has
oocnrred on the western hemisphere since
- the proclamation of the American republic
and the downfall of Maximilian in Mexico.
It has been fortunately unattended, as far
as learned, by those scenes of riot and
bloodshed that are the usual accompani
.xnents of violent changes of government.
At the outset it would seem surprising
-that there should be a revolution in Brazil
pt all. The strength of the Republican
party, when tested in the recent elections,
was apparently insignificant. They suc
ceeded in returning a few members to the
. chamber of deputies, but only after a second
'ballot, the Liberal leaders being in a ma
jority in the ministry and having the legis
lature with them overwhelmingly. So
closely did the character of the government
approximate to what might be expected
under a republic, and so liberal had been
ffc* whole tendency of the administration
-.during the fifty-eight years of Dom Pedro's
that the people were generally be
ilieved to be satisfied with things as they
. vcn . Indeed, there was in Brazil a faction
.yiinUg the wealthier classes so strongly
conservative that they even blamed the
emperor for his ultra-liberalism and pro
gressive ideas.
,But while Brazil, with its population of
rweariy. 11,000,000, was already a republic in
. everything toot the name, Dom
Pedro and his advisers could not fail to ob
serve that there were canses at work that
threatened the downfall of his government
at any moment. The real revolution had
been slumbering for many years before a
single blow was struck. When the moment
arrived a Boulanger was ready. The press
of Brazil, and notably that of Rio, Para and
THE EX-EMTRESS OF BRAZIL.
Bahia, had been openly republican. Re
peatedly and recently they had called upon
the emperor to abdicate; called in no rebell
ious spirit, nor did they at any time en
deavor to excite the people to deeds of
violence. The demand was made in the
name oi the people, whom they declared to
be republican at heart. In this crusade
against the Braganza dynasty the Gazeta de
Novicias, the Diario and the Paix were
most prominent. The emperor and his min
isters were aware of the strength of
the movement and of the fact that the
press represented the popular sentiment.
When Princess Isabella, acting as regent
during the absence of Dom Pedro a year
ago, signed the decree emancipating the
slaves, it fell like a ruinous blow upon
many of the planters. Their crops were de
stroyed and their losses were almost be
yond computation. The wholesale manu
mission took nlHce at a time when it was
impossible to secure the help necessary for
the harvest, and the freed negroes could not
be induced to work. Further, the govern
ment did not propose any scheme for the
indemnification of those who sustained
losses by the sudden liberation, and the re
sult was an agricultural depression and dis
content that hastened the crisis. The fail
ure of the crops produced results that were
not confined to the farming and plantation
districts; widespread misery among the
poor of Bahia, Rio, and other centers of
population followed.
So strongly was the emperor impressed
with the general dissatisfaction that, some
time ago, he expressed the opinion to a con
fidential minister that the hours of his gov
ernment were numbered. It is less than a
year ago since the Count d’Eu, husDand of
the Crown Princess Isabella, declared that
as far as the Braganzas were concerned,they
were willing to forego their claim to the
succession to the throne in the event of the
death of Dom Pedro, if the people of the
country should at any time decide by a
popular election that they preferred a re
public to the reigning monarchy. No such
admission could have been wrung from the
RIO JANEIRO FROM THE BAY
crown princess herself. Isabella is a woman
of great resolution and opposed on many
occasions the reforms that were demanded
by the people and which the emperor him
self stood ready to grant. It was undoubt
edly largely owing to her unpojmlarity
that the republicans were bold enough to
predict confidently the ultimate abolition
of monarchy in Brazil.
The late election brought the climax of
the national dissatisfaction. Before the
struggle began the strength of the Republi
cans was undisputed, and the government
resorted to strategy to prevent the return of
Republican deputies. In a number of
tricts martial law was established, and the
polling places were in the hands of the ad
ministrative party. There were no serious
protests, and, indeed, protests would have
been futile, for the troops were everywhere
and were prepared for such a contingency.
So the moment to strike was deferred till
after the battle at the polls. On a second
ballot a few Republican deputies were al
lowed to be declared elected. This sup
pression of the suffrages of the people was
the last notable act of the monarchical gov
ernment of Brazil.
The story of the revolution has already
been told in the telegraphic dispatches, al
though details which would throw light on
much that is now unexplained are still want
ing. After the election the popular discon
tent steadily increased. Republican leaders
were waiting an opportunity to strike. Some
time ago, foreseeing the danger, the govern
ment announced its intention of reorganiz
ing the national guard and placing it upon
a footing that would have made it greatly
superior in numbers and eqnipment to the
regular troops. The national guard, which
had been disbanded and partially disarmed,
had been in times past the mainstay of the
empire. It was then nearly five hundred
thousand strong, and comprised many
wealthy young Brazilian plant
ers, business men, merchants and'
property owners. The proposed reorgani
zation was bitterly opposed by the officers
of the regular army, and by none more
resolutely than by Gen. da Fonseca, mil
itary commander of the province of Minas
Gertas. Fonseca, with a very large major
ity of the troops, was republican at heart.
The leaders took counsel and it was decided
to anticipate the reorganization of the na
tional guard, even if it became necessary to
seize and overthrow the existing govern
ment. In the meantime it was not difficult
to arrange an understanding between the
civil republican leaders and the troops to
act in concert when the moment arrived.
So confident were the lormer of tfie entire
success of the projected coup that they had
a number of new flags manufactured in the
dty of Rio, on which the Brazilian crown
was replaced by a Phrygian cap—the sym
bol of liberty. The flag contains nineteen
stars on a blue ground.
At the first indication of the revolutionary
programme being carried out. the Brazilian
navy was ordered by Baron Ladario, min-
isterot marine, to be in readiness for in
stant service. A single naval vessel would
have wiped oat the revolutionists at the
outset; but they did not propose to be so
quickly disposed of. Baron Ladario, who
is about fifty-two years of age and a vigor
ous and fearless commander, could be de
pended on to sustain the imperial govern
ment.
On the 14th inst. the crisis seems to have
arrived. Telegraphs, postQffices and the
principal buildings in Rio were seized by
the regular troops, who were 4,500 strong at
the capital. The emperor and his house
hold were at his summer palace, Petropolis,
a short distance from the city, and thither
a “detachment of troops were sent by Gen.
de Fonseca to make him a prisoner. The
cabinet, too, were placed under arrest.
Those of the citizens who did not
sympathize with the revolutionists were
so overawed by the suddenness of
the stroke that they seemed unable to com
prehend the situation, and they kept in
doors. Business was at a standstill. Baron
Ladario, while endeavoring vainly to stem
the torrent of rebellion, was shot at and
severely wounded by one of the troops. So
well was the plan of the rebels conceived
and executed that the naval ships in harbor
were unable to render any aid to the gov
ernment. There was not, as far as learned,
any serious rioting or disturbance accom
panying the rising. The city once secured,
a consultation ot the republican leaders
was held and a provisional government was
organized, the selections being made alto
gether by the military, as the people were
still too much alarmed to unite in the
movement and held aloof. The temporary
republican cabinet was as follows: Presi-
count d’eu.
dent, Didorio da Fonseca; minister of the
interior, Aristide Loba; minister of foreign
affairs, Equintin Bocayura; minister of
finance, Dr. Barboza; minister of justice,
Campos Salles; minister of war, Benjamin
Constant; minister of marine, Admiral
Vanderholtz; minister of agriculture,
Demitris Ribero.
Following rapidly upon the heels of this
step, caine the expatriation of the emperor
and his household—the exile of the Bragan
zas who had held the Brazilian throne for
the better part of a century. On being in
formed of his deposition, the old emperor
bowed to the will of fate and complied with
the nundate oi the provisional government
to quit the country in twenty-four hours.
With his whole household he started the
following morning (Noy. 17) on the steam
packet Alagoas for Lisbon, being accompa
nied down the bay of Rio and out to sea by
the Brazilian ironclad Riachuelo. It was
promised by the new government, condi
tionally, that the exiled ruler should have
an allowance and that all debts contracted
in behalf of the Brazilian government
should be liquidated. For the rest, it seems
to be the desire of the people of Brazil to
give the new regime a fair test. Should it
prove unsatisfactory, and should the Brazil
ians decide to reorganize the national guard
to crush the rebellion and re-establish the
empire, bloody days may be in store for the
youngest of the Western republics.
The story of the Braganzas is one of the
most picturesque in history. Originally
usurpers, they have held the Portuguese
throne for 250 years. Dom Pedro de Alar
eantara, the deposed emperor of Brazil, was
a child of six when his father, Dom Pedro
1., was compelled by the revolution of 1831
to abdicate. When, in 1808, the condition
of affairs in Portugal drove the Braganzas
out of that country, they fled to Rio. In
Brazil they seized the opportunity to es
tablish themselves and at the same time to
CROWN PRINCESS ISABELLA.
find favor with the Portuguese throne, the
result being that, in 1815, Brazil became a
part oi the kingdom of Portugal. In 1821
Joao VI. returned to Portugal, and next year
Brazil became independent. In that year
Dom Pedro I. was crowned and held the
reins till unseated by the rising of 1831. It
was not till 1841, however, that Pedro 11.,
then a mere lad of sixteen, ascended the
throne, the government being meanwhile
administered by a regent. Two years after
his coronation he married Teresa Christina
Maria, the daughter of King Francis of
Sicily. One daughter, the Countess d’Eu,
was the fruit of the union.
Dom Pedro’s ifeign has been marked
throughout by progressive measures, and
under him the country developed and
prospered. Trade and commerce of every
description increased rapidly; 1,500 miles of
railroad were built; 4,500 miles of telegraph
completed; 1,200 poxtoffices opened; free
public schools established and other re*
forms instituted. Ohe of the most notable
acts was the manumission of the slaves.
For many generations negroes have formed
a large proportion of the population ot
Brazil, outnumbering even the creoles, the
Mamlucos and the Tupi Guvani, or aborig
inal Indian stock of coppery-skinned na
tives who inhabit the forests and plains of
the interior. In 1871 the government passed
an act declaring that all children born to
slaves after that date should be free, and at
the same time gave freedom to the slaves in
the household of the emperor, and pro
vided an emancipation fund for the ulti
mate liberation of the slaves owned by
private persons. Emancipation progressed
rapidly. The importation of slaves had
been stopped since 1853, and sinoe that time
up to the signing of the act of last year by
Princess Isabella as regent, one million
had been manumitted. Prior to the reign
of the ministry headed by Senhor Cotegipe,
in March, 1888, the abolitionists were badly
prosecuted by the Conservatives and slave
holders. Senhors de Patrocinio and
Nabuco, and Senators Dantar and Prado
were undismayed by these hostilities and
persevered in urging abolition. Prado
pushed the measure with such success that
it passed both houses in May, 1888, and was
at once promulgated by the princess-regent.
It was while Dom Pedro was absent in
Europe visiting London, Paris, Florence,
Brussels and Rome, that the emancipation
for which he had labored half a lifetime
took place. Immediately a tumult of joy
seized the nation, the planters alone re
maining sullen. They had reason to re
gret the act, for their crops suffered, the
coffee brought to market was inferior and
their plantations became unprofitable. It
was some time before the native product
again took the lead, but up to the present
day the planters never forgave the govern
ment for depriving them nf their negro
labor.
The emperor’s European tour and his
visit to this country are still remembered.
He impressed Americans as a man of broad
intelligence and progressive ideas, and one
who had the full support of his people at
that time. Cultured, a fine linguist, a giant
in stature (being six feet four inches in
height), his sixty-three years did not seem
to weigh very heavily upon him. The
recent troubles, however, have shaken him
severely.
In remarkable contrast to her venerable
and mild-looking sire is the Princess Isa
bella, the one picturesque figure in this na
tional drama. She is a woman who, in
almost any sphere of action, would make
her influence felt. Strong, self-reliant, with
her mind trained to matters of state and to
dealings with diplomats, she has been the
foremost advocate of all the progressive
movements in Brazil for the last ten years
or more. She is not a beautiful woman,
but her face shows intellectual strength and
force of character. She is now forty-three
years of age, a thorough politician, a bit o
a Bluestocking, an enthusiast on the sub
ject of human freedom, a strict Roman
Catholic and partisan of the church, a lib
eral in principle and practice, and as posi
tive in her temperament as her father is the
reverse. Knowing these traits of the heir
presumptive, the Brazilians felt that with
Isabella on the throne there would be a
stronger hand at the helm of state than that
of the old emperor, and a mind that could
not be coerced as he had been at times into
consenting to measures that strengthened
the Republicans. Isabella was married in
864 to Prince Gaston of Orleans, the Comte
D’Eu, who, had his wife become empress,
would have occupied the position of prince
consort merely, and would in any event
have had little share in the responsibilities
of government, which would have been
solely in the hands of his energetic spouse.
Of the men who compose the new govern
ment comparatively little is known. Senor
Bocayura, the minister of foreign affairs, is
a journalist who has been foremost in his
advocacy of the republic, and is the ablest
member of his party, but does not believe
in violent measures. Senor Barboza, who
THE PAIjA'IE OF P’ETRDPOI.IS.
has the finance portfolio, was a member o*
the chamber of chepnties. He is a lawyer,
orator and writer,, and was an active eman
cipationist. Senor Constant, the new min
ister of war, is also a journalist, and a pro
fessor in the polytechnic institntc. Field
Marshal Gen. Didorio da Fonseca, upon
whose shoulders rests the main responsi
bility of the new regime, is one of the most
popular army officers in the nation, and a
tried and gallant soldier. He was punished
recently for insubordination. Like hispro
totype Boulanger, his picturesque person
ality stands out in the present crisis with a
degree of prominence that overshadows his
associates. During the trouble last year j
between Paraguay and Bolivia Brazil
stood neutral, and Gen. da Fonseca waa !
dispatched to the point of danger with a
strong army corps to guard the national in
terests. He was at the same time appointed
governor of the involved province of Matte
Grosso, which he held until the crisis had
passed. He is about forty-five years of age,
of hire commanding presence, immensely
popular with the army and a military
leader possessing both dash and courage.
This is the leader, hitherto unknown to the
world outside ot Brazil, whom the fortunes
of war have pushed to the front as the pro
jector of a successful rebellion and the
founder of the new South American repub
lic. Aristide Lobo, the new minister of the
interior, is a Republican lawyer; about fifty
eight yaars old, and has long been active in
politics. He has been a member of the
chamber of deputies, and has contributed
frequently to the pronounced republican
press. Admiral Vanderholtz, who replaces
Baron Ladario as minister of marine, has
spent a lifetime in the Brazilian navy.
About Demitris Ribero, the new minister
of agriculture, nothing definite is known.
Baron Ladario, who seems to have been
the only sufferer by violence during the
recent troubles, is well known in this coun
try, and served at one time in the United
States navy under his family name of Jose
Costa da Ayevedo. He was then about
thirty years old. He afterward returned to
Brazil and entered the Service of the em
peror, where his ability won him the high
est rank in the navy. He visited this coun
try again during the centennial exposition
in 1876. He was then In command of the
corvette Nichteroy, He is now about fifty
five years of age.
STEPHEN JOHNSON FIELD.
Associate Justice of The United
States Supreme Court.
The name of Judge Field through
his persecution and persanal assault
by Ex-Judge David S. Terry, and the
killing of the latter by A. S. Marshal
David Nagle, has become familiar to
every newspaper reader in the United
States.
Justice Field was born at Haddam,
Conn., in 1816. While he was an in
fant the family removed to Stock
bridge, Mass. At thirteen he was in
vited by a relative living in the East
to visit him, and accordingly spent
considerable time in Asia Minor. He
was graduated at Williams College
in 1837, and then read law with his
brother, David Dudley Field, in New
York. In the year 1849 he removed
to California and was elected first al
calde of Marysville in 1850. The
same year he was elected to the leg
islature of California. In 1857 he
touk his seat as Judge of the Supreme
Court of California. Two years after
ward he became its Chief Justice. He
was made an Associate Justice ofthe
Supreme Court of the United States,
by President Lincoln, March 10,
18G3.
How Fortune Came.
A few years ago a pleasant, genial
old gentleman called at one of the
city banks and requested an intro
duction to one the junior clerks.
The clerk, who had noticed the strang
er and seen him enter the manager’s
room, was startled by a summons
to go inside. Once inside the mana
ger’s room, the clerk found himself face
to face with the stranger. The visit
or immediately broke the ice by say
ing that had the pleasure to an
nounce that by the death of an uncle,
and in consequence of the death
several other relatives, this young
gentleman was heir to a baronetcy.
Hardly believing his ears, the clerk
summoned up enough presence of
mind to ask if it was an empty title.
The visitor immediately and blandly
informed him that his income was at
least £IO.OOO a years, with £50,000
at a bank upon current account. It
has since been ascertained that the
income is not less than £16,000 a
year.
The owner of a very valuable pair
of trousers was lately advertized for
in the French papers by the honest
finder of the same, who allowed the
individual to whom they belonged
fifteen days in which to come for
ward. After this delay he stated he
would consider himself justified in
profiting by this strange windfall,
which, as he was in poor circum
stances and about to be married,
would be very serviceable to him.
On the Place de la Concorde he
stated that he saw one evening a
dark object on the ground, which he
first took to be a sleeping dog. On
closer inspection, however, he discov
ered his mistake, and picked up the
garment then in his possession. He
took the trousers with bim on board
a boat which he owned, and on
passing them In review noticed that
the buttons seemed different from
ordinary ones. Prompted by curi
osity. be undid the cloth that cov
ered them, and found, instead, of
wooden molds, gold pieces. Carry
ing his investigations further, he
came across some bank notes stitched;
into the waistband with other papers
of value.
Stories of extraordinary windfall*
are so frequently due to an effort
of the imagination that we may be
excused for receiving them with: a
considerable amount of reserve;
Elizabeth Scott w'as found by the
police in 1875 lying on the floor of
her back kitchen. She had been dead,
apparently, for about a week, por
tions of her hands having been eaten
by rats. It was stated that al
though the deceased, who was seven
ty-two years of age. and lived in Lon
don, who was in possession of up
ward of £IO,OOO in consols, produc
ing an income* of £4BO a year, she
never associated with any one; and
a search through the house resulted
in sums of £B2 in gold and £47 in
silver being found secreted in little
bags beneath the mattresses of the
bed. For many years she had been
leading a miserly existence- It was
stated that she had left no will, and
had only two cousins living in Scot
land.—Chamber’s Journal.
Bine ointment and kerosene, mix
ed in equal proportions and applied
to bedsteads, is as unfailing a reme
dy, as a coat of whitewash is lor the
walls of a log house.
EUGENIE’S TRIALS.
Incidents In Her Life as Related by
"a Lady In Waiting.”
After her betrothal to the Prince
Regent, the Countess de Montijo quit
ted France. She wore a plain gold
ring on her finger, and a pin mounted
with brilliants and emeralds. She had
won it it a lottery organized by the
emperor at Compiegne, and ever after
wards, until the death of the emperor,
she used to wear it every evening along
with her other jewels whatever her
attire might be. It will be interesting
just to say here, says the Pall MalLGa
zette, that a few years after the em
peror’s death the empress put off some
of her mourning lest she should sadden
her son’s youth. However, she woro
no colored jewelry, but having looked
upon this first present of the emperor
as a pledge of their future happiness,
a superstitious illusion in regard to it
became firmly fixed in her mind. On
the departure of the Prince Imperial
for Zululand the empress wore the
“trefoil of emeralds” until June 19.
But after the death of her son she lost
all faith in human hope, and on one
occasion, when the Duchess de Mouchy
was paying the- empress a visit, the
latter gave her this jewel.
“I have regarded it for a long time
as a fortunate talisman,” said she; “It
is my dearest relic. Ido not wish, it
to be cast aside! Look upon it every
evening as a souvenir of us, and may
it be t,o you a token of happiness and
of loving friendship.”
No provision had been made in this
splendid palace of the Tuileries, which
was jo vast and so magnificent, to
give it the appearance of a home.
When Louis XIV. and Marie Antoinette
had occupied it in 1789 a few hasty
provisions of this kind had been made,
but they had always remained imper
fect.
With the exception of the large
rooms, all the interior communication
were in darkness, and it was neces
sary, summer and winter alike, to
have lighted lamps on the small stair
cases and in the corridors. As soon
as spring came the heat and want of
ventilation became very painful now,
notwithstanding the beautiful display
of the chestnut trees in the garden, we
all hailed with joy the time for our de
parture to Saint-Cloud of Fontaine
bleau.
On one occasion the Empress re
ceived from a young girl two turtle
doves in a cage, and she was the more
willing to accept this singular present
because of the touching simplicity with
which it was offered. Six monthsafter
a letter was sent to the Empress asking
what the writer might be placed in her
service. It was to the following effect:
“It is 1,. Madame, who made you a
present of the turtle-doves and which
you have accepted; As you love the
birds, you may require a guardian for
them. I would take great care of
them.”
The Empress always quitted the
grand balls at the Tuileries rather tired
and very often did. not even take time
to call her maida Before entering her
cabinet she would remove her crown
and jewels, the weight of which fa
tigued her, and put them pcle-mele into
my dress, which I held out in front of
me for the purpose. I was. always
afraid lest I should lose some of these
precious stones by coveying them in
this manner, for many of themi repre
sented a fortune.
The Empress ordered some of the
Crown diamonds to be mounted for her
ordinary wear. Many of them? had a
history attached to them. Among oth
ers a yellow diamond, big as a small
nut, mounted itn a comb with) other
whiter stones, was swallowed by an in
surgent in 1844, during the pillage of
the Tuileries. The cut facets of the
diamond produced internal disorders,
and the unfortunate man died in: great
pain, confessing his larceny. At the
post-mortem examination the diamond
was found. It was the largest of tho
Crown diamonds and when the Empress
became acquainted with this fact later,
it caused her to remove it.
The Seeds of Anger.
Tommy: “Doesn’t it say in tlie bible
that ‘A soft answer turneth away
wrath,’ mamma?” Mamma: “Yes,
dear.” “I don’t believe.it anyhow.”
“Why, dear?” “1 shouted at Billy
Buckeye today and he answered, me
with, a soft tomato and I’ve been, mad
clear through ever since.”
A Square Point
Tommy: “I wish the school-room
was round.” Mother: “Why?” “So
the teacher couldn't make me stand in
the corner.”
Wanted it Cooked.
Papa started to wash little Elsie’s
hands in cold water, but she drew
back, exclaiming: “Papa, I want the
water cocked.”
How It Is Done.
“That beastly tailor of mine is be
coming awfully pressing,” said De
Jinks. “How shall I stave him off?”
“As you haven’t any money,” replied
Merritt, “the best thing for you to do
is to give him an order for another
suit.”
Ho Hurry.
Young bird (on a tree): “There
comes a hunter. We’d better fly
away. ” Old bird: “No hurry- He’s
got to climb a fence before he gets to
us, and his gun will probably oatch in a
rail and shoot him. They most always
do.” *