Newspaper Page Text
I ___ ' \, f|J ' WMBWI [g
MEN OF MINNEAPOLIS.
s ome of the Well-Known Characters as
They Appear Beneath the Globe's
11l of Them are "E'en as Just Men as
E'er Our Conversation Coped
3ut They are Men With Foibles and
Queer Eccentricities and Some
i Small JTandslass for the Edifica
tion of Some l'eople You
V. ?1. Loriiixr.
The distinguished gentleman whose
familiar features here appear is a living,
monumental witness to the declaration of
Minneapolis tha) she will in>t live beneath
blue laws. Mr. Lorins is an honored and
respected citizen and was his party's choice
for mayor, but he wrote a Letter of accept
ance in which lie promised to strictly en
thc laws. He was candid, but not
politic, even if the Letter was not his own.
He was defeated, but what of that? He
swings the gavel in th-' park commission
and is the president <>i the city's chief mer
cantile association. At planning parks and j
bulling wheat he is equally expert, and his j
mltii manual at the bottom of a check is the I
open sesame to millions. A Umversalist, '
he believes in general salvation and the |
fnture holds <<vi to him the glorious pros
pect of criticising the landscape work of
the Garden of Eden.
As Others See 'fi'lii'iu.
His distinguished excellency, Mayor Pills
bury, is having greatness continually thrust
upon him. He has presided at some meet-
big and made ai least one speech of wel
come every week for the past month. The
fact <.f the matter is, though, that it is Char
lie and not George who is a candidate for
United states senator.
That veteran smiler, Robert Hale, the
secretary of the board of trade, is a privi
leged character there and certainly deserves
the priA ilege.
U. M. S. '.'ease asks what has become of
the home for newsboys and bootblacks, but
the Globe knows no better person to whom
to refer him for an answer than to R. M. S.
!■;. S. Corser used to i><' a sewing machine
airent. This is not given as news, but sim
ply to account for his persistence and suc
cess with the exposition movement.
Dr. Kilvington carries the new Masonic
temple in his breeches pocket. This is for
the benefit of architects generally.
Isaac Hodgson is going to surprise the
exposition people, whose breath will be
bated until he unbosoms himself.
When Ed Atterbury lets off that long
breath he has been holding ever since the
Journal was bought, it will sound like a
Nebraska cyclone caressing a Minnesota
CoL Tom King is a brilliant genius— as
bright as one of his own electric lamps. At
a recent meeting <>f electricians he made a
brilliant speech, beginning as follows: "Be
fore lightning was discovered —"
J. T. Wyman is spoken of as a Repub
lican candidate* for mayor. He's young,
but the Republicans might have many
worse candidates and still tare well.
Maj. Regan mivs he spent S-J.SOU for the
Sidle-Fletcher-Holines company at the New
Orleans exhibit, which did net include the
expenses of himself, his wife, his child and
his mii'M —the child's nurse, of course.
Though lull is here, the days have not
shortened perceptibly in the past week.
This is accounted tor by the gradual tip
ping of the earth as Gen. Washburn came
Maj. Joel r.:i>si-tt had all the priming
knocked ofl <>f his big gun by the report of
the committee on city affairs on county
roads. So he had it postponed until lie
A. .J. Blethen and David Blakely at
tended the exposition love feast, and
while there David called out "Put me down
for $200: that's 525 for each of my four
girls." Blethen was aghast at this arith
metical miscalculation, and left the
room saying "1 was mistaken in Blakely.
Good thing he wasn't in the business de
partment. He'd bankrupt us.'' The next
day the "Tramp Abroad" was discharged,
and •"Truthful James," who hasn't much
ability as a writer, but who knows how
much is four times twenty-tive, takes his
C. S. Bartram. who will be remembered
as having invented the nfteen-hours-in-ad
vance-of-the-moi^uhg-papers racket is in
St. Paul on the Dispatch. This is not
news, but is in answer to an inquiring
11. (.!. O. Morrison, the venerable private
secretary to Bill King, doesn't like to have
his initials transposed. He refused to take
a letter the other day which came to H. O.
G. Morrison, although the young lady at
the postoffice said she was positive it was
meant for him.
Postmaster Laraway says he is confident
that by the new rapid delivery service a
"etter from St. Paul to Minneapolis will be
delivered within twenty-four hours of its
arrival s ire.
Deputy Register of Deeds Plummer has
leaned over the record of mechanics' liens
so much that he is getting round shoul
Detective Caswell is said to change his
hat several times a day in order to disguise
J. R. \\ oleott is having a plat made of
St. Anthony Park, which has the West
hotel and the new postoftice building stand
ing directly across the street from each
other in the center of the place.
George A. Brackett is said to take his
defeat in a recent lawsuit in the district
court very hard. He brought suit to enjoin
a woman from piling a load of wood on
.LJJLJj UJUU-D-o -Cerjjjfji* W U X _£ JjJjllLljliii
some land of his, aud the court dismissed
"When Aid. Cooley returns from his ex
amination of the workhouses and jails of
Chicago and Milwaukee it is said that he
will deliver a lecture upon How to Work
the Tramp, and Keep Him from Working
Charlie Swanson, the late "frojit" at the
Xicollet, is to spend the winter and his
money on the Pacific coast.
Cliauncey Wheeler is the reputed Adonis
of his particular social set. He has won
many conquests in mashing the masherines.
Ed Johnson's mayoralty aspirations, it is
rumored, are becoming whetted. He will
strive with Col. Clark for the Republican
and the prohibition nomination.
Since the recent changes on the Journal
staff, nothing has been heard of Capt. Mc-
Craney's prospects. The weather is get
ting chilly, and it looks much as though the
captain, who boasts a big avoirdupois, is
going to get left. The office of chief is
hung too high for his pole.
One horse on Aid. Sly. Col. Glenn has
succeeded in getting the workhouse con
tract, and now the populace is anxiously
waiting for the second horse.
• The citizens of North Minneapolis have
laid in an immense stock of tar and feath
ers. Wonder if the recent changes in the
precinct station up there have anything to
do with the circumstance, or do the boys
expect to bull the market?
Dorillus Morrison to Prof. Cleveland at
the recent meeting of the park commission:
'■Yes. sometimes I indorse everything Mr.
Loring says, and then sometimes I do not."
It has been said that great men are pro
verbially absent-minded, notably Charles
Lamb, Horace Greeley and many others.
Our own "Tom"' Lowry proves the correct
ness of the proverb. He was a witness in
the University-Northern Pacific case. When
asked if he had ever been on the campus
grounds when Manitoba trains passed he
quickly answered in the affirmative. "Let
me see"' he added explanatory. "It was on
the occasion of some great celebration. I
cannot recall just what, but it was the an
niversary of some extraordinary discovery."
••The discovery of America," suggested the
facetious D. A. Secombe. "Precisely,
that was it." "Wasn't it the 200 th anni-
versary of the 1 discovery of St. Anthony
falls by Father Hennepin?" interposed
matter-of-fact J. B. Giltillan. "1 beg your
pardon for my inadvertency" apologized
Mr. Lowry. "It was old St. Anthony,"
and the smile passed around, but "Tom"
did not appear in the least discomfited.
When Charley Kimball suggested to a
friend the other day that Fred Nash was
getting quite aesthetic, he certainly made a
bad blunder. Charley was perhaps think
ing of Frank Dunn. Having had his slum
bers disturbed the previous night by his
neighbor's cats, his head was not as clear
as usual. Fred took it to heart, but he
will survive the shock. So says his phy
l>r. Ames (it may surprise many who
heard his stirring speech in Turner hall the
other night, but it is gospel truth just the
same) is not a Scandinavian. Faith, he is j
a Buckeye, If you don't believe it, consult
any reliable encyclopedia.
George Seatou is never seen without a
happy smile on his physiognomy. Yes, in
deed: he always carries it with him. A
friend suggested last week that possibly he
was born that way.
Wonderful Socrates King (Thaumatur
gus) is in his natural element again. Fairs
and expositions were seemingly devised es
| pecially for him. or else he was especially
I designed for fairs and expositions. How
j ever, it is a very bad rule that will not work
I both ways; therefore, it may be presumed
that this is a good rule.
One of those irrepressible East-side news
boys says that Capt. McCraney dyes his"
hair and mustache. The eminent scien
tists of the day agree that he who dyes his
hair will ultimately find a home in an in
sane asylum. '"Tis true, 'tis pity; pity
'tis, 'tis true."
Who is the man that set the story afloat
j that Jim Baker had purchased the Punch
j and Judy right in Minneapolis? Sackett &
Wiggins most emphatically deny it.
W. G. Kerridge. the flower man, has
more ill-luck to the square inch than any
other free-born American. He drove to
I St. Paul and some one stole his rig. He,
lof course, had to walk home. Then his
I hired girl put out his washing on the line,
and the thief didn't leave a rag. Some
philanthropist should start a subscription.
R. F. Jones has an uncontrollable pen
chant for betting hats on election. Ilis ex
perience in the national election last fall,
however, broke him all up. It cost him a
good per cent, more than his entire profits
reaped from the sale of Glenn water for the
year to furnish hats for the Minneapolis
Democracy. He says he didn't make a bet
on the Ohio election.
Jim Robinson lias been converted to the
woman suffrage belief. Up to the conven
tion of the past week he was a rampant and
uncompromising opponent to that political
i belief—but he has a certain weakness which
should be humored, you see.
Charley Foote has a mascot. He char
tered it. whatever it may be. two years ago.
Readers of the Globe who now and then
! make a wager are hereby warned. To be
warned is to be forearmed, Any one who
bets with Foote must Jose. If you don't
believe it ask Dick Dunnington.
It is now pretty generally conceded,
especially in really polite society, that
Charles "Alf" Williams is the Jack "Bunsby
of Minneapolis. Explanation is unneces-
Col. Fairman has gained the eternal en
mity of Thundering Gordon by that poem
Monday night. Roll On, Royal River is
now out of date.
No one will credit Ed Stevens with Mayor
Pillsbury's anti-slugging orders. Ed is
right fond of seeing a good "scrap" him
Col. Blethen always leaves his hearers in
doubt whether lie is most interested in talk
ing up the exposition or talking down the
favorite organ of Fred Driscoll. He "mixes
those infants up."
Manager 11. A. Tuttle never allows his
seat at the Grand to get cool. When you
hear a big burst of hearty applause back in
the amen corner, there is where you may
locate the Spanish countenance of the genial
SjDuring a heated cross-examination in the
railroad case last Tuesday, Attorney Se
combe grew excited and drew a map of the
university campus on the top of Referee
"What a level head that young man has."
whispered a member of the board of trade
as J. T. Wyman explained away the charge
of discrimination against the Northern Pa
Mayor Pillsbury, perusing the Tribune's
sporting- column "of last Saturday a week:
"Great heavings! Can these things be?
Am I the great lamof a godly ci:y? Be it
even so. My intellect tells me that I am;
my political pride corroborates my intellect.
And jet my truly pious instinct is at war
with both my intellectual and my political
attributes; and. moreover, my conscience
whispers severely in my left ear, 'This sin
lies at your door.' Two heathen named
Cardiff and Mellen have been boxing at the
Comique. These athletic sports must
cease. The liat shall be promulgated.
This culpable insult Uncivilized Christianity
shall not go unrebuked!" and his honor, the
mayor, thereupon issued a proclamation.
Despite the relegation of the mighty
sergeant the central police force seems to
be getting along nicely.
"Rats'."' yelled Dick Dunnington on
Wednesday when Henry Benton asked him
if he had heard from Ohio, and judging
from the manifest relief the monosyllable
afforded him, it is much like relieving the
pressure on a steam boiler by opening the
exhaust. Or like the relief afforded a man
by engaging in putting rusty stove pipe to
gether by giving utterance to words more
expressive than classic.
Frank Hopkins, the handsome salesman
at Wyman, Mullen & Co.'s house, is not
happy. He will not parade the fashionable
avenues for a number of days. He jumped
over a truck, that is, he says he did and
his right optic is in mourning.
ST. PAUL, SUNDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 18, 1885.—TWENTY PAGES.
RUN UPON AT RANDOM.
Some Stray Conversations That Will
Interest Minneapolis "Globe"
Waifs of Opinions Caught Here and
There and Eescned for Beady
How the "Globe" 19 Viewed in Min
neapolis by All Classes of Its
Solid Reasons "Wliy a JLlve News
paper is Generally Appre
THE GLOBE IN MINNEAPOLIS.
Here's Your Globe.
At one of the exposition meetings of last
week the question of newspapers was
brought up in a group of gentlemen in one
corner of the room. The various dailies
were discussed, and in tlie course of his
remarks one of the speakers said:
"What I like about the Globe is that it
is emphatically a Northwestern paper.
And that is the only sense in which it seems
to be an organ. It seems devoted to the
Northwest in its great entirety, and is
above any petty sectional feeling."
"But it is a St. Paul paper," said an
"That's just it; and it makes no pretense
of being anything else. It does not try to
straddle the twin cities any further than
that it recognizes their interests are iden
tical, that the news of either place
is of interest to both, and that whatever
aids one benefits the other. It is a St. Paul
paper emphatically, but it does not believe
St. Paul can possibly be benefited by de
crying Minneapolis, and, on the contrary,
never omits anything that will boom Min
neapolis. See how it has treated our ex
position, for instance. It has done nothing
but say a good word for it, from its very
inception. That's why I like the Globe,
because its Minneapolis department is for
Minneapolis people, and the general news
columns for everybody."
A reporter overheard this much of the
conversation, and the commendation of the
Globe is but a piece with others that are
heard on the streets of Minneapolis every
day. A prominent member and one of the
organizers of the Knights of Labor said to
the writer a few days since: "The
Globe has made a happy hit in mak
ing a friend of every workingman in
Minneapolis by its labor department. This
it lias done, too, in the best way—by pub
lishing the matters they are interested in,
and giving their version of all labor matters.
I tell you the stonecutters have a warm side
for the Globe for the way it handled their
strike last summer. It treated them fairly
and always gave the public their side of the
trouble. The papers generally give only
the bosses' views, but the Globe helped to
win that strike for the stonecutters by
showing the justice of their cause."'
An Irishman, prominently identified with
the National league movement in Minne
apolis, said: "The Globe is the only
paper that gave us a fair, correct report of
our doings. Its report of the Ryan mass
meeting was splendid." In his spoech be
fore the league on the Sunday following
Roger Vail said: "The Globe gave the
best report of our big meetings, and I sent
it, in preference to any other paper, to the
Parnell papers in Ireland and to the leading
Irish-American papers in this country."
Judge Quinn said: "The Sunday Globe
is a magnificent paper, and I never saw its
superior anywhere. 1 read it with the live
Fred L. Smith said: "I swear by the
Globe, and have done so ever since the
present management took hold."
R. B. Forrest, attorney: "I only wish
the Globe was of Minneapolis exclusively.
We need such a paper over here. I have
often wondered how the Globe covered
Minneapolis so closely and impartially. It
seems to be above all jealousy and bicker
Col. C. W. Johnson: "The rumor that I
am a Republican is quite correct, but I can
recognize a good paper when I see one, and
tiiat is what the Globe is. It is one of the
St. Paul institutions I admire."
William Philips: "I'm aborn Republican
of the bloody Sixth, but 1 read the Globe
every day, and each day with increasing in
Ex-Mayor Ames: "Although I have al
ways been and admirer of the Globe I am
free to confess that under Lewis Baker's
administration it has made wonderful
strides. He has made it a credit to the
Democracy of the state, and I have often
compared it with pride with the great Dem
ocratic dailies of Eastern cities. It is thor
oughly and systematically interesting In
every feature. Its local departments for
the two cities are complete and comprehen
sive, and 1 have sometimes wondered how a
small corps could so admirably cover the
Minneapolis field. The GLOBE'S editorial
columns are invariably able, sprightly and
interesting. The Democracy of the North
west should give it a hearty and undivided
support, and when the Globe assumes the
position which its worth and ability entitle
it to it will be the principal political factor
and will strengthen the party. And in con
clusion I will say that with the Globe's
potent influence The party in the two cities
should not again meet with defeat."
C. H. Clarke, deputy collector of internal
revenue: "The Globe is not an exponent
of my political belief; but I have been a
regular subscriber for three years. I take
it because it is a newspaper. Its sporting
columns are reliable, particularly the home
matters. It is one of the best in the West."
R. P. Dunnington: "The Globe is the
best newspaper in the state to-day. I
could not keep house without it."
R. G. Evans, of Fish. Evans & Holmes:
"I have read the bright, newsy columns of
the Globe with pleasure. It is certainly
a splendid paper."
John Thornburgh. assistant cashier of
Hush's bank: "Under its new manage
ment it has gained wonderfully in popular
ity. As a thorough and consistent news
paper, it is without a superior in the North
west. I hear it commended by members
ot our (Republican) party daily."
E. A. Taylor: "I think the Globe is
pre-eminently the best paper in the North
west. It is just the paper for a man who
wants to read reliable news dished up in a
spicy and interesting way, without having
to wade through a lot of rot and unreliable
gossip. It is unsurpassed. I can get more
real satisfaction out of the Globe than any
contemporary. There is scarcely a day
that business men don't remark in my place
of business that the Globe has the best and
most reliable market and stock reports. Its
editorial and telegraph columns are the best,
Chief West: "It is a rattling good news-
paper. Although I think differently politi
cally, I have no hesitation in saying that
the Globe is everything an enterprising
paper should be."
Aid. Sly: "It is a dandy. As an
advocate of justice it lays over them all. It
is a splendid paper locally, too. It gives
all the news."
Samuel Goodnow, city comptroller: "I
like it. The Globe is an excellent news-
Selah Matthews, city clerk: "For local
news and interesting comment upon cur
rent topics the Globe has no superior.
Some one steals my copy occasionally and I
feel lost without it. Have the carrier put
it in my mail box."
Aid. H. C. Morse: "The Globe is a
first-class iournal in every respect and a
credit to our party. Mr. Baker has ac
complished a vast improvement in quality
Mathew Walsh, county treasurer and
alderman: "There is more general news
In the Globe than any other paper in the
West, and there is fully as much local
news. The new management has made a
marked improvement in grappling with the
leading and important questions of the day.
The Democracy of Minneapolis should give
it the heartiest support."
Aid. Noeremberg: "It is now unques
tionably the best paper in the Northwest."
Aid. Lawrence: "The Globe is an ex
cellent newspaper, but I think it would be
greatly improved should it advocate prohi
Aid. Maereck: "The Globe is among
the best and ablest journals of the day."
Aid. Johnson: "The Globe is a good
Aid. Gibson: "For its interesting read
ing matter, Minneapolis city news, general
intelligence, cable and telegraphic dis
patches, and for its unbiased treatment of
the live issues of the day, I take the Globe.
It is the great daily of the West.-"'
Col. Platt B. Walker, editor of the Lum
berman: "The Globe is the very best
paper we have ever had in the state, and I
have taken occasion to remark it in my pub
Hon. E. M. Wilson: "I cannot speak of
the Globe in too glowing or complimentary
terms. It is a great daily. It is always
alive to the great topics of the day, and the
quality of its matter is the finest. Its ed
itorial columns sparkle with wit and bristle
wiih ability, such as carries conviction with
J. C. Oswald: "The Globe in my opin
ion is now equal to any paper in the West.
I will except none. It is as able and in
fluential as it is interesting and reliable.
Siuce the Democratic administration was
inaugurated it has improved 100 per cent."
Charles M. Foote of the water com
mission: "I am more and more pleased with
the Globe each day, and I was always an
admirer of the paper. It is thoroughly a
newspaper of the day, enterprising and pro
gressive. It is free and unbiased, a quality
most commendable in a journal. I notice
that its influence is rapidly gaining ground.
It is destined to become a vast power in the
Northwest. I hear it spoken of in the
highest terms everywhere I go. I only
wish it was a Minneapolis paper exclu
sively. Yet, I confess, it publishes ill the
Minneapolis news, besides the most enter
taiuing comment upon current topics. In
fact there is never a column that is not in
teresting to the general public."
Ed A. Stevens: "The Globe is a dandy
newspaper. It grows better constantly,
and may be classed with the best."
Joseph Jepson.: "It is the best newspaper
and the best advertising medium. I have
tried it with all the others, and I have re
ceived live letters in answer to the Globe
advertisement to one in answer to the ad
vertisements in the other papers, or more
than all tho others combined. When 1
mrss my copy of the C-loije I hasten to the
street i;o purchase another. It is the most
interesting of any paper in the West. lam
particularly pleased with the Minneapolis
department, and am gratified to learn that
its circulation is so rapidly increasing here."
B. F. Cole: "It is the best Democratic
paper I ever saw. It is the best edited
paper, but it is Democratic, and therefore I
don't like it. lam an out-and-out Repub
F. C. Barrows: "The Globe is a mighty
good paper. It has made a wonderful im
provement under the new management."
Col. John T. West: "I rearard the Globe
as one of the very best papers published in
the country. Its improvement since Feb
ruary is remarkable. I read it every morn
ins and the more I see of it the better I
Thomas Lowry: '•While the Globe
does not accord with my political faith I re
gard it as a very superior paper."
W. A. Baker, manager of the Nicollet
house: "1 see the Globe is quoted more
in the M"ew York papers than any other
publication in the Northwest, and this in
dorses my opinion that the Globe is the
best paper we have in Minnesota."
Jacob Barge: "It's a great paper."
Harlow Gale: "The Globe is a very
Judge William Loehren: "The Globe
has improved greatly and I enjoy it very
much. I like its tone and presentation of
Program of the Dedication at Lake-
wood Cemetery To-day.
At 3 o'clock to-day, the Minneapolis
Head Millers' association will formally ded
icate, at Lakewood cemetery, the monu
ment to be erected in memory of the victims
of the terrible mill explosion of April 2.
IS7B. The handsome shaft has been erected
and is ready for the ceremonial. A com
plete description ha« already been given in
the Gloijk, and the only addition has been
the engraving of the names of the eighteen
victims. The program of the dedication
will be as follows:
Opening prayer Dr. Van Anda
Selection Male Quartet
Introductory remarks President Walsh
Address Dr. Tuttle
Selection .., Quartet
Benediction Rev. A. R. Graves
Cars, private conveyances and special
trains on the motor will leave at 2 o'clock.
President Small will have as mauy trains
as may be necessary to accommodate the
crowd. If the weather should prove favor
able, an immense crowd will be in attend
ance including all of the mill owners and
operatives and their families.
f*% is needed, not much money—
i\DV\ C*/?"Waius" the comb that holds
\J\JIt%J\J the honey.
"His name is Dennis —the man who drew
the plans for that building"—remarked a
real estate man to a friend the other day, as
tliey contemplated thu majestic proportions
of the Collum block. '-What's the matter
with that building?" indignantly returned
the friend. "Why, it's elegant, simply
splendid, it's —." "Oh, I didn't mean his
name was Pants or anything like that. His
name is Dennis; W. H. Dennis; D-e-n
--n-i-s. I aint sayin' a word, am I?"
J. P. Gillespie, the agent for the famous
Sapolio, is experimenting with this well
known compound, and finds that when
mixed with candy its effect is to give
the entile system a thorough cleaning out
when taken internally.
That linen collar, marked M. A. Jones
and inadvertently left at a certain house in
the owner's haste to abscond, has been
nicely laundered, and he car. have it free of
charge if he will call. He will be in no
danger of being coerced, either.
Joe Laurence is anxious to know who
gave him the soubriquet of "champion
slugger of the police force." That was the
significant address on a letter he received
from Montana the other day. The writer
of that epistle unkindly suggested that he
got the idea from the Gxobb.
Who doesn't know Harry Burke but to
MA '//* read the "Wants" each
If I llllUrlO Always finding what they
IKE WALTON'S PUPILS.
Practical Points on the Art of Luring the
Finny Tribes From Their Lurking
Charms of Minnetonka as a ±'ishing
Ground—lt Has Fine Scenery and
Rescued Prom a Watery Grave, or the
.Narrow Escape of Two Minneap
Some Mlnnoapolitans Who Can Catch
Biff Strings and Some Who
Gen. T. L>. Rosser.
The war is over. Ended about twenty
years ago. The sword v that Gen. Rosser
wore during the little disagreement was
hammered into a civil engineer's axe, and
its blaze marks were left all along the line
of the Northern Pacific road. Among the
men who now grasp his hand, none give it
a warmer clasp than those G. A. R. veter
ans who made his acquaintance at the bat
tle of the Wilderness. When Cleveland
was elected Gen. Rosser told a meeting at
Market hall that a flag of truce was hung
up in the South, and it no longer hung from
a sword's point. Gen. Rosser is a Southern
brigadier, but he is a Minneapolitan of Min
neapolis. The only thing he brought from
the South was that old Virginia accent and
a critical love of good tobacco.
ISHING * r^
popular pastime, and it
is one of the most pleas
urable of sports. This
is especially true inMin
nesota, owing partially
to the plentifulness of
the finny tribe In our
multitudinous lakes and
streams. The abund
ance of the fish and the
excellence of the varie
ties for table purposes
have made the lakes in the vicinity of
Minneapolis famous from the Rockies to the
Atlantic and the Canadas to the Gulf. To the
tourist who visits Minneapolis in the heated
season to escape the excessively high tem
perature of the Southern states, tba pisca
torial opportunities afforded here lend an
additional charm to their summer pleasures.
Of the dozen or more lakes within easy and
convenient access of the city, none present
the desirable attributes, all things consid
ered, found at Lake Minnetonka. In the
first place, Minnetonka has been endowed
with a wealth of natural beauty. Its shores
and islands are dotted with spacious and
commodious hotels, and neat, pretty and
comfortable cottages, where all who come
can find hospitable quarters for any length
Fishing for profit is not considered in this
screed, consequently I will say fishing is
not only an almost incomparable pleasure,
but an art and a study, withal. That is, it
is a study to develop all the pleasures which
attend it. and he who knows how to devel
op all the pleasures is an artist in the bus
iness. Some little attention is paid to the
various kinds of bait to be used in hurrying
the innocent fish to swallow the treacher
ous and deceptive hook. Yet vastly more
attention is usually paid to the commissary
department of a fishing expedition. Dr.
Ames, who is a recognized expert in such
matters, will tell you that the success of
fishing largely depends upon the complete
ness of the iocker. and Platt Walker will
corroborate by saving that it is infinitely
better that spirits be provided to "drive dull
care away," to keep out the wet in the
event of a rain storm, and for divers other
potent and prudential reasons—well, the
reader is referred, with all due respect to
the sagacious Dick Dunnington for a
more minute statement of the delectable
ness, as well as the healthful necessities for
liberal provision in this particular.
But with all the agreeable phases of mod
ern fishing, how incomparably insignificant
they are when thrown up in sweet mem
ory's horoscope in contradistinction with
recollections of boyhood's days. Who
cannot recall romantic escapades? Who
cannot recall the days of a bent pin
and a piece of twine? Alone and supremely
conscious of quiet happiness, the boy of
years ago would seek out a beautiful glen
and cast his bent pin in a babbling trout
brook, and sit perhaps hours satisfied with
landing now and then a stray minnow, or
perhaps nothing, while the many nibbles
kept up his enthusiasm, and exhausted his
supply ot bait.
In this connection one is reminded of
the celebrated excursion of Detectives
Hankinson and Gleason last July. They
went out to Minnetonka, as a matter
of course secured a boat, and when
they had reached the desired spot where
the unlimited experience of "Hank" taught
him that the object of the expedition
abounded, they cast their lines and waited.
Yes, they waited until they began to appre
ciate what it is to be hungry, and thirsty as
well. I'll say nothing respecting the latter
condition. Finally "Bill" got a bite.
"Steady, Hank!" he whispered in excited
accents. "I've got one," and he began
pulling in. "Great Scott! but it's a whop
per," and he gave a vigorous pull.
"Julius Caesar!" he thundered, as the
boat swayed and then gave a tremendous
lurch and he went headlong into the deep.
A fine predicament. The boat completely
capsized, and poor "Hank" was also an un
willing and disconsolate victim of Gleason's
rashness and bad seamanship. They had a
narrow escape from becoming food for the
fishes, but, after a desperate struggle, they
succeeded in swimming to the upturned
boat, with its bright, polished keel glistening
in the bright sunlight. To right the craft
was beyond their power. Their efforts
were exhausting and futile. Happily a
colored man was seen in the distance, and,
by dint of shouting and blowing their police
whistles, they attracted his attention and he
came to their rescue. They were satisfied
that that was not their day for fishing and
straightway returned home, sad and dis
Dr. Ames has a peculiar habit of hauling
in fish with amazing alacrity. I have known
him to go fishing with a party of consider
able size, and catch more than all of them.
Perhaps they wont do him so proud iv the
scales, but they all count. He has an espe
cial penchant for fooling croppies into tak
ing his hook in preference to anybody's.
That is what puzzles the sedate Seatou.
Seatou spits on his hook for luck, and he
will never swing his pole over his left
shoulder. There is something queer about
Seaton's spittle. Those ill-bred, finny
idiots evidently think there is something in
it "good for the stomach."
Col. Charley Johnson can cast a line with
more unfeigned dignity than any known ex
pert of modern times. Indeed, his facinat
ing style is so utterly elegant that no polite
fish will override the rules of etiquette by
failing to engage Charley's hook in a cntch
as-catch-can contest. The hook invariably
wins the fall.
In marked contrast is arrayed the style of
Col. Platt Walker. He goes at it with utter
nonchalance—a veritable happy-go-easy sort
of a way which, with worldly people, is
really engaging. He doesn't seem to give a
tinker's exclamation whether he catches a
fish, a clam or a water serpent. Everything
Lew Harrison is a pretty fisherman.
When he goes out he pays as much atten
tion to his toilet as he would ifj he
were going to a ball. Every little
detail is proper. His habiliments are
in the height of fashion, and when he
sits in a working boat with Fred Smith poor
Fred feels uncomfortably conscious of the
striking fact that he must appear a nonen
tity to any one who happens to see them.
Albeit Knittle is a student of the philos
ophy of the art. Of course he is a natural
philosopher, and it comes mighty easy to
him. He will argue with himself whether
it is correct to swing the baited hook high
toward the heavens, or to glide it along
over the calm surface of the water, or again
whether it should not be swung around
sidewise until it describes a handsome semi
circle. He is an ardent admirer of the
philosophy of cause and effect. Capt.
Chase has fished
THE MIGHTY DEEPS
of the Atlantic from Maine to the Indies,
and he is not emphatically zealous in tame
fresh-water fishing. Yet he goes out with
the boys now and then as a sort of an in
nocent diversion so to speak. If you are
fond of fish stories ask him about fishing in
'•Hal" Watson is a fisherman in embryo.
But if he is persistent and attentive he may
get there—should he live long enough.
Joe Murch is an insidious fisherman. It's
a fact that he will go out in one boat put
out a floatin' and sit there so unconsciously
that his friends a half-mile away are fooled
into the conclusion that Joe hasn't had a
confounded bite the livelong day. He'll
come home, however, with the biggest
string of 'em all.
Ed Taylor hasn't caught a fish in a
year. He looks with
upon such small sport.
Dowii 01^ the coast he
had his education pol
ished. Col. Glenn holds
his pole with an "iron
hand," and whether
he swings ont a pisca
torial specimen from his
natural element or not,
he knows the rivets are
being driven in the
Jake Barge has a
novel way of catching
black bass in particular.
it:s an old chestnut, but
he says it works like a
charm. He employs a
little of his stock in
trade, and soaks bread
crumbs in the liquid.
The fash come up, eat
the bread and straight
way turn over on their
backs, dead drunk.
Jake doesn't send for
the patrol wagon and
have the fishes run in,
but he extends his lily
white hand and pulls
them into the boat.
Frank Phelps is one
of the most successful
piscatoiial sports here
abouts. His bright-red
head will challenge the
admiration of every
fish for a mile distant,
and every one of the
finny tribe will make a
grand coup d' etat and
all he has to do is to
pull them out.
Charley Hashow is
a type of the fisherman
who never has any luck, and Ed Stevens
can catch fish at the market best.
/— / S banner flies and flaunts
/- n VtUVIP C o>er those who freely
/ Uf 11/lflO O us© the "Wants."
A MERE! MELAME,
Made Up of Odds and Ends Thai
Were Pound Loose in
Some Personal Paragraphs and Som«
That Are Not Personal Strung
in a String,
To be Plucked Off by the Pub
llo and Distributed at Will
■Ainonggt Their Owners.
Outside of the Chaos Mr. Thomas
Lowry, the Horse Kuilwar
Man, Sits Serene.
"Who is this, papa?"
"This, my child, is Tom Lowry."
"Does he drive mules?"
' 'Metaphorically he does, and he drives
bargains, too. Take this mule driver for
your model, my son. He is the richest man Id
Minneapolis, but I can remember well when
he used to have a small lunch route."
"Was he an editor?"
"No, indeed, he was an honest man, who
learned to have faith in Minneapolis real
estate. He grew rich, and now owns the>
street-car franchise. His income is said to
exceed $100,000 a month, and in a short
time he will own the earth." ]
"Is he a colonel?"
"He is not a colonel; he i 3 plain Tom.
He has no coat of arms, either, but his
bank account is solid. The lesson h«*
teaches you, my son, is that honesty and"
monopoly are the joker and right bower in* 1
life's game of euchre. Cut out his picture, J
boy, and paste it on your looking glass."
FKOM A. HAM.
We are going to have an exposition of
onr own. Thanks to the Pacific Mai|
steamship subsidy, we have a Bill King
who will just fit it.
After nearly two years of slugging
among local exemplifiers of the art of self
defense, the authorities have found it out
and ordered a cessation of hostilities. I
suggest that the buck be passed.
An agonizing report has been circulated
that the Hon. Timothy Hay gave some
money for a charitable cause, and that the
act was not heralded to the world through
the newspapers. Let not the right hand
know what the left hand doeth. Give
your alms in secret, and the Lord will re
ward you openly—or words to that effect.
The practice of forgetting to mention the
gifts of rich men will ultimately ruin all
our great charitable institutions.
Office bees are swarming in several local
ities and at last report about fifty good cit
izens had mayoralty bees in their bonnets.
As sly as you keep it George A. has hired
a tin pan full of the insects, and his friends
aver that his honor insists upon being stung
again. Go away there, George, they will
"give you a poke."
I have heard something lately about a
city printing bid by a "rat" firm at prjcej
which will not pay for composition. Whp
will O. K. the bills when they come in for
five times the amount called for in the con<
tract? The Typographical union should dq
some missionary work with the city hall
Bill King would make a good mayor if t
was a sure thing that no Pacific mail steam
ship subsidy was in the rear of municipal
affairs. If Bill is badly stung by bees Hon.
Ignatius Donnelly should and probably
would be called to the front.
That sermon at the Baptist churoh
against the Catholics and their doctrines,
in which they were sized up with th<(
Chinese for idol worship, was a dandy,
and calculated to bring the Baptists au<f
Catholics together again for the spring
campaign. Rev. H. L. Morehouse is re
ported to have said: "They have a form of
righteousness, yet we must say of them that
they cannot enter the kingdom ot God."Now
give us a spring conference of Catholic
priests and Baptist pastors.
' It is strange indeed that our Godly city
should«be infested with burglars, gamblers
and footpads. If there was only a Demo
cratic executive the Republican press would
be ablaze with accusations that it was the
mayor's strikers and associates. Where is
the virtuous Nettleton and Blakely an<4
other regulators of public safety with their
solicitations for vigilance committees? the
question is not as to "the safety of our
wives and daughters on the public streets
after nightfall,"" but the stocks of our mer
chants and the heads and pocketbooks of
pedestrians at all hours.
"Politics is biling" and the Pillsburya
are being boomed for mayor, congress arid
the governor's chair. The only trouble ia
that there are two more Pillsburys than
there are important offices to fill.
Tom Lowry holds a franchise from tha
city which is wortli a million or two of doN
lars, upon which he is bauking a small for
tune in profits every mouth. Say, Tom,
after what our citizens have done for you,
I would it be asking too much of you to nx%
■ a few cars at night to the populous portioni
! of the city to accommodate the aforesaid
I hear from a grapevine source that there
are soon to be some startling revelation!
concerning the city hall ring and the bottom
facts on contracts. Whoop-a-la.
In speaking of the woman suffragists, I
heard them referred to as "the short-haired
women and long-haired men." And an
other fellow chimed in "Them's the gans
that unsexes theirselves." If these folk!
ever get their whack in public affairs, sucj
scoffers will probably be dealt with to th«
full extent of the law as it will then t*
It is stated that 157 circulars, properly
stamped, went into the postoftice a fevf
days ago, and were returned to the sendej
four or five days afterward with the stamps
canceled and the excuse that they had been
mislaid. They were invitations to a sa«
loon opening, which is probably a goo<|
moral excuse for interfering with the gov*