Newspaper Page Text
18 OUR BOARDING HOUSE. Another Big Batch of Caustic Remarks About St. Paul Hash Foundries. The Festive Bed Bug Comes in For Its Share of Pen cil Pounding-. Two Great-Hearted Landla dies Who Make Affection ate Pies, So-Called, Because the Upper and Lower Crusts are Badly Stuck on Each Other. OOD - natured and ill-natured members sf the great army of boarders in St Paul come to the front again this morning with a big batch of communications to the Globe regarding the eccentricities of their landladies and the board they serve. From the testimony given it seems that a boarding " house in St Paul, where palatable food was furnished in pleasing style would look lonesome and akward!' In the great rustle, how ever, several contributors have arrayed themselves as champions of the land lady and taken her part in true cavalier style. There is reference now and then made to the bronze bed bug that reflects more seriously on the woman who keeps the boarding house than it does on the bug. The great object the Glows hopes to attain in publishing these letters is to brace up the tables in the boarding-houses and secure for those people who are floaters over the face of the earth better victuals and cleaner beds. The department will be published again next Sunday, and a cordial invitation is extended to every boarder in St. Paul to tell something about his boarding-house in a short, breezy communication. A PRINTERS' HOME. A Landlady Who Looks on Well- Dressed Men With Suspicion. To the Editor of the Globe. Your correspondents of last Sunday devoted all their wit and sarcasm to the table and ignored the landlady—the most interesting piece of furniture about a boarding house, at least, ours is. Be it known that our family is composed almost entirely of traveling printers, In fact, the house is distinctively known as a printers* boarding house, and the landlady has a reputation that stretches from Chicago to the Pacific slope. She is an Irish lady of uncertain age, but very certain - temper. Whenever a weary pilgrim registers his name on her kitchen door she promptly tells him she expects he will "beat" her. and she is seldom disappointed. She will not admit a well-dressed man, as she considers such either rogues or book peddlers. When a printer applies for board he is put through a regular catechism, something like the following: "Hey yezenny money? No, ay coorse not. Hey jez changed yer shurratthis month? Doubtful. What station house did yez slape in last, and did yez get anything on yez?" - * - -• Without waiting for answers she says: • "Well, yez may come in, and if yez are ' •.hungry, there's some cold mate in the .cupboard." And he is thereupon a boarder in good standing. I One day at dinner a new arrival was telling about carrying the banner two weeks in Minneapolis. I "And didn't yez get anything for it?" (interjected our landlady. . .."./, yyr-7] i "V* by, no, of course not," replied the knight of the stick and rule. . . I "Then phy in the divil didn't yez drop it the first week?" innocently queried the landlady. V-.-•-" I At another dinner a boarder, consid erably in arrears, called * for a second piece of pie. "Pay yer board, ye spal peen, if you want more pie!" indig nantly exclaimed the landlady. | Recently she bought an illustrated Bible on the installment plan, and has found much delight in gazing upon the pictures. The other night after long contemplation of Mary Magdalen and her story she gravely remarked that she thought "Mag Daly was the best '-woman in the Bible." But nothwith standing these little defects she is a fine i<dd Irish lady and the boys all think a "great deal of her and her excellent [cooking. Kambleb. 1 St. Paul. Aug. 27. AINT SAYING A WORD. He Has a Marble-Topped Table i and That is All He Wants. , To the Editor of the Globe. - 1 lii your Sunday issue of the 21st inst. Appears numerous articles by several «mart alecks airing their boarding house .[experiences.. Now without any dispos ition to champion boarding houses,' - ("would say that from the admissions of your correspondents, they receive better fare than they are entitled to, and more whan equivalent to the price paid. Evi dently the writers are of that class that are looking for cheap fare .and have found it in the style of houses ,of which they seem to be . the represen tatives, and are doubtless in their proper elements and would hardly appreciate any place that would not admit of their depositing themselves, boots and dirt .upon a clean counterpane, and their cigar stumps, ashes and filth upon the carpets instead of the slop jar and cuspa ,«k>re. What manner of persons are .they who expect first-class hotel .accommodations for the paltry sum .S4 per week. The facts are that the ( average boarding house is fully on a par ,with the average boarder. Now, if your (boarding house critic will write up the , average boarder as well they may do "justice to all. The writer's boarding , muse experience is quite the reverse of the foregoing, having been a boarder !for five months in one house. I can say without the lenst exaggeration that mv lines have fallen in very pleasant places. The ladies and gentlemen, guests at this house, are such In all that the word implies, and seem to appreciate a well .ordered, well-furnished, clean boarding [house. This is a twenty-two room house, furnished throughout with marble- Itopped furniture, upholstered chairs, •Brussels carpets, etc. The tables are served with the varieties of the mar kets, early fruits and vegetables at whatever cost. The writer has been thus favored. A luxuriant room and good board, but not at the insignificant figure, $4.50, which seems to have been the charm of attraction which has cap tured your boarding house correspond ents. Obsebveb. St. Paul, Aug. 27. A DISINFECTED COOK. » IPretty Waitresses in Short Dresses Who Carry Long Memories With - Them. To the Editor of the Globe. I was delighted to see so many re spond to your call for comment upon the habitation of the sojourner, or our boarding houses, in last week's issue. One reference to the "cross between a hotel and boarding house." made me think of our place, and I will give you a brief sketch of the ways and means of this institution. The office is a neat and comfortable place, but they haven't put up their stove yet and so we have to keep the windows down during this awful weather. 'The day clerks are the boarders, male and female, this being a necessity because of the absence of any clerk at all, the proprietors doing all the supervising. work from office to kitchen. But our night clerk is a "dandy." He .goes on duty, at 7 p. m.and off at 7 a. :-*,: m.-' His duties comprise 'those of por ter, bell-boy, lamp lighter, lamp finer, i coal hustler, water carrier, window washer, scrubber,' watchman, room clerk and cashier; and he fills them all, in cluding the lamp, with credit, though he isn't allowed to credit anybody who wants a room, especially couples who come up about 11 or 11:30, looking "kind er shy," and registering as John Smith and wife, Minneapolis. These are made to pay for room and bretkfast in advance, whether they get breakfast or not they never kick. So much for our "dandy" clerk. Now for our dining room. We have here a congregation of femininity presiding over our destinies whose combined attractions are equiva lent to a "beauty show." They whisk about in short skirts and short aprons, and carry impossible orders in their brains and upon their trays, and never make a mistake,; ex cept in the majority of instances when it is too late to correct, as the next fellow is clamoring for attention. ■ It is amusing to see some of the new board ers, who are accustomed to the male "hash slingers"; how they hesitate, blush and grow confused when one of these lovely creatures rushes up to his side presenting her "little bill" that he may take what he likes.. Our cook is' one of the "biggest" . institu tions in our house, and if she doesn't bathe, she at least changes her outer habiliaments and puts musk or some.other powerful disinfect ant upon her immense frame, for she presents by no means an unpleasant ap pearance, nor do the odors of the kitchen cling round her still as she passes through the office seeking the street for an evening's "airing." i But I musn't tire you any further with the peculiarities of the personnel of our "foundry," nor anything else in connection with it, at "least for this time, but if you offer any further op portunities 1 may tell you something of the boarders. "Califoknia." St Paul, Aug. 27. A PLENTY OF EVERYTHING A Nice Little Boarding House on the West Side. To the Editor of the Globe. Our house is a conglomeration of boarding house and hotel, and is situ, ated on the West side. If anybody wishes to enjoy life, he ought to come and live with us. We have enough to eat. if we do not want to eat too much. We also have anything we wish, if we don't wish for more than we get and of pleasure we have a lot. Here is one kind: It certainly is a pleasure to come home after a day's labor and find the landlord eulogizing his ability to do up the town, or hearing him tell some other drunkard that he will let his fist fly. or swearing at the help or at his wife, or curse some unlucky customer that may happen to come in, or telling the boarders that if they wanted strong coffee, to pay extra for the same. These are all items that will be a pleas ure to anybody, and it will cost'only the small sum of ft per week. Ido not see how people can give so much chin mu sic for so little pay, bed bugs thrown in, and the absence of water, towel,. soap and other appnrtenances,of course wash- dish is not required when you have no water. Ido not see why people are not satisfied, the world would get along a great deal better if the people were more pleasant If you hear of any more of them kickers 1 hope you will send them over here .to enjoy themselves, for the pleasures are great and plentiful. Our landlord has been indulging red eye for two weeks and the house is there* yet, but if he keeps on I am afraid that he. will not be there: I mean the landlord, "not the house. In the meantime Ido not know whether the house is running the land-" lord or the landlord the house, but we don't care, we have a plenty, even of bedbugs. Satisfactorily yours, Ox The Wing. St. Paul, Aug. 27. AN OLD FASHIONED YANK. He is Satisfied With Victuals, Landlady and All. To the Editor of the Globe. It has often been said that there are two sides to every question, and we could not help thinking this true when we read your "Boarding House Hash" last Sunday morning. If what is there recorded is a fair representation of St. Paul boarding houses the impression is a bad one, but thinking there * may be. as much difference in boarding houses as there is in anybody, "we dare not ci iticise the report of your cor- ; respondent although somewhat dreary. Now, as I am a stranger in St. Paul and my experience "Is so very different, I wish to give a little aid to this question. It was said many years ago "Life is what we make it." It most certainly throws a little responsibility, at. least on both parties. But for the board ing house fare on * our street; For breakfast—With two kinds of meat > potatoes, good bread and butter, tea or coffee well made, answers anybody for a solid meal for business life. Dinner- Two kinds of meat, from three to four kinds of vegetables, two kinds of pie or pudding and fruit of some kind, makes a bill of fare that answers me, at least Supper Cold meat or eggs, or both, if ordered, good -bread and butter or hot rolls, with always some kind of sauce, does not go bad. and the dining-room always clean and neat, table linen and napkins in perfect or der, also our dining-room girl is one of the quietest, unassuming yet always ready persons you would wish to see. The cook must be the embodiment of perfection, judging from the looks, taste and smell of the victuals, as they come upon . the. table. : But - when -. you go with me to the sleeping apartments you will:be : constrained to say-1 truly they are always in order. Everthing clean, and as to bed fellows you will have none unless .you get one. About, our mistress, I would like to give you a description of her but as she is a widow, I fear it will not do, fearing if her mer- '• its were fully known, all the widowers in St. Paul would be on tiptoe and ; bother her to death, for we understand she is not in the market. Being an old fashioned Yankee from York state, per haps we have not been West long enough to learn the art of fault finding, so we still look on the bright side of the boarding house question. ■■- Ya*s?k. St. Paul, Aug. 27.. * IT BREEDS DYSPEPSIA. That is WhatMephistopheles Says of Boarding-House Hash. To the Editor of the Globe. A melancholy experience of some seven years as a victim of boarding houses enables me to appreciate your published communications upon the subject in Sunday's Globe. -This' gen eration was not so savagely satirical as might have been looked for by any one knowing "whereof they affirmed." Boarding.house hash breedeth dyspep sia; dyspepsia engendereth sarcasm and ah"'evil temper; an evil temper de-" lighteth to vent itself iin public print: under the protection of a norn de plume.' Hence - I looked for a page or more of eruptions of anonymous spleen directed against our landladies. On the contrary, no single one of all the emaciated arid bilious persons who have revealed the story of their oppressions seems to have "set" down aught in ma lice," while" many have c * striven to extenuate. This unexpected moderation and forbearance dissuades, me from a half-formed purpose to ex pose with a pen dipped in gall some of the horrible treatment to which my di gestive aparatus has been these seven years subjected, " and prompts me instead to pay a just tribute to a certain'establishment under the shadow of the capital dome," on Tenth street, where board and rooms are to be had for a consideration. We are a numerous brood who find shelter and sustenance' there, 7 and " are I blest: with not • one landlady,'=•*: but two. . While -"-they-••- have ■' their little faults,' item, a stubborn belief that the boarders' lamps need .refilling not oftener than quarterly, a fallacy which the parable of the foolish-virgins clearly Idemonstrates, yet I affirm with great confidence that they are ■on the whole the most excellent amiable and accomplished landladies am .St. Paul. No, sir; Mr. Editor, I am not: paid to say so. Without feeling called upon to assert that the steak is j never tough, the butter ■ powerful* ' the salt-cellars empty, the coffee debilitated, •- nor the iced tea seasoned with deceased flies,! simply maintain that, week - in and TIIE SAINT PAUL DAILY GLOBE: SUNDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 4, 1887.—TWENTY PAGES. week out, there .is less Incentive to a lonely and dyspeptic old bachelor like me to commit suicide or get married, than any other place I ever patronized. There are no false pretenses >. about this place. ' You are promised nothing, and you get everything you could reasonably expect. I often get little delica cies which you could not. reasonably expect," For instance, peaches" and cream.grapes.prairie chicken a la mode, ice cream, clean napkins now and then, etc., etc. It is a good thing. It recon ciles mc to my'"unmated lot" to stum ble upon a little oasis like this in the great desert of boarding houses.- If it were not for overstepping the prescribed limits of space I might bo tempted to speak of the graceful nymph with a nickel-plated punch in her girdle who distributes provender to our family of fifty hungry people with dexterity and dispatch, and a bright smile for some of the good looking boys thrown In, but to praise her as my admiration moves mo might be regarded by the other fellows as a subterfuge to win her affections and induce her to punch my meal ticket twice in the same place, and so 1 re frain. Mepuistopheles. St Paul, Aug. 27. THE LANDLADY A JEWEL. A Man Who Has No Fault to Find With His Boarding House. To the Editor of the Globe. I am happy to say that I have one of the very best boarding houses that mor tal man ever had. It is on West Tenth street and the landlady is a "perfect jewel." I have. boarded there ever since I have been in St. Paul, and the probabilities are that I shall remain there for some time to come. Ever since I can remember we have had chipped toast and coffee for | breakfast varied occasionally by the addition of eggs or stewed tomatoes. For dinner we have tenderloin or veal steak, game in season, and always either pudding and pie or fruit also vegetables of various kinds. For supper we usually have boiled or roast meats, and some kind of jelly or sauce. The bedrooms are kept con stantly supplied with clean linen and towels; the pitchers are always full of water. If it happens, as it often does, that lam not obliged to arise in the morning-in time for the regular 7 o'clock breakfast, I am always sure of having the meal kept warm and palatable for me when Ido come down. We have no "vocal or instrumental music in the house, but amuse ourselves principally by reading and talking. Being a printer, it often happens that I am unable to meet my board bill promptly, but to my "gem" of a landlady, it makes no difference, and if 1 waited for her to ask me for pay, the probabilities are that 1 never would have to "ante." All the guests are supplied with latch keys, so we can come and go as we please. Usually when any of us are delayed down town and do not get "home" till late at night, we find a nice pitcher of lemonade with some fruit and cake on the dining room table for us. I have boarded at many different places and know whereof I speak when 1 say that ours is as good as they make 'em! Sym pathizing with my less fortunate fellow creatures, I am very truly yours, Typographical Tourist. St. Paul, Aug. 29. PIE IS AFFECTIONATE. The Crusts Seem to Be Stuck on ■< Each Other. Special Letter to the Globe. I will relate what I had to contend with for one month at a Como avenue boarding house. I called one afternoon at a little brown house on the avenue. After making my business known I was asked into the parlor by a lady who presented anything but a neat appear ance, who afterwards proved to be my landlady. I mentioned the fact that it would not be convenient for me to make any payments before pay day. She, trusting I would not betray her confidence, I was admitted as a boarder. I was not favorably impressed by any means with the lay out. But, as the say ing goes among the boys, I was not fly ing very high and taking into considera tion the stand-off and my strong consti tution, made up my mind to make the best of it. The landlady is a young widow of twenty-six. I after wards heard through "J," to whom she revealed all secrets. She is also blessed with a promising young son, William by name, who has powerful lungs, and he came by his temper honestly. " His "squalling can only be stopped at meal" hours by the good mother taking him under one arm as she administers to the wants of the hungry boarders with the other to the best advantage. It was an every day occurrence for William to get his dirty little bare feet into some one of our plates, while the mother was sup plying the boarders with some of our home-made, heavyweight light biscuits. The screens are so arranged that the flies have no trouble in getting in, but could not get out if they tried. In fact it is a good model for a fly trap. Now my room would pass, but the bugs were never known to. They always took a hand. In a short time she • found her boarders re duced in numbers from seven to three. and in weight all the way from ten to twenty-five pounds. Some of them had been there five weeks. I put off saying anything about our victuals as long as possible, because we had so little to eat. For breakfast a small piece of beef steak, tough as sole leather, coffee as black as tar and strong enough to float an egg, and cold fried potatoes. For dinner, corned beef and cabbage, some of the same coffee * from breakfast, and : boiled potatoes. The potatoes were all right. • Affectionate pie 'is a very good name for the pastry. - The crusts were invariably "'; stuck .on each other. And for -supper we had,* -in ■ addition to what was left from dinner, blueberries or strawberry shortcake. I am exceedingly fond of the latter, but could not go Mrs. ■■ "F's" calces. They were too "fly" entirely. At last pay-day came to my rescue. I was not long getting a new boarding house. My landlady, who is a good woman and takes great interest in her boarders, '. noticed I had a wonderful appetite and she asked where I had been boarding. After telling her the plain facts in the case, she recommended . watermellons for a few days. After thinking all danger had passed, I was allowed full rations.! At present I have a boarding house that is considered above the average and am happy. At last accounts of Mrs. "F." she had one boarder, who .was only too glad when Saturday night came around so he could give her credit with $4.50 on a furniture bill which he -was boarding out. My sympathy is with him. •: As he is an elderly gentleman I consider his case doubtful. T. J. W. St. Paul, Aug 28. -A SCHOOLBOY'S STORY. He Says One Pudding Goes a Good Ways at His House. To the Editor of the Globe. " " " You are a daisy and are doing an aw ful noble act in letting poor people that board tell the public what . a hard time they have of it and how they are im posed on, and I guess maybe they will try and do better when they see what .we all think of them.. lam only about fifteen years old, and I go to school in St. Paul, but I am home on a vacation . now.and I hope you., will reform the place where 1 board before I go back, ■ which is soon. I think if there is one kind . of • board ;ng houses worse than others. it is where they board boys that go to school, they are the worst • kind. The. person that keeps this one is a widow, and is homely and is fifty years of age, I guess, and is horrible cross, and, if we happen to make a little noise upstairs, that we can't noways • help, why she • scolds us like fury, ..and like we were her own boys and not • regular boarders, paying for ! staying in her old*; house. She says she doesn't care so much for the money, but' she: wants. to' give us the -'."-benefits-, of. a home;" but once when ray parents sent - me the money to pay my board' with and I spent $2 of it ; for a mouth-organ and some other things she took. on awfully and was going' :to write to - .my . folks. I*■ went and I-- • borrowed ;.' - 12.'. but .-.-„ I-V tell you •-1 was - disgusted: and 1 have my opinion of that woman. I also wish we didn't have so many •'.- "benefits" ? and some more to eat. We. got awful grub, and wo never get cakes"*: enough for breakfast She only bakes one at a time and a fellow has to wait a terrible ■ long time between his cakes; all but one fellow who cuts wood for Her when she: asks him ahd he- never has to wait for she keeps him a going in cakes all the time. We call him "the pet," but he ; don't mind it so long as he gets all the cakes' he wants- to. „•.Dinner is just the .same," only ..a* : :>'g6od*,-*:.deal._. worse, and 'is always the same thing except on -Sunday's.- when we have, nle instead-" of- pudding ""-for , desert The puddings. we .have*.- every day are made of bread and other things, and are economical to "the*, boarding; house be cause no one eats it. and 9110 pudding will therefore last a long time. I know this for a fact', forgone day till put a lot of salt in it, arid every day we would just taste it and it was always the same old pudding, saltier Jthan : a mackerel. Supper Is what is left over from dinner, and it aint much. If it was not for the; toboggan slides and skating rinks and parties and the girls I guess, we would all starve. If slip sees this and knows it is about her we wont get no more pie on Sunday and maybe no'more ginger snaps for breakfast too. -Yours truly, Rich Valley. Minn.. Aug. 29. D. O. HE IS AN UMPIRE. He Tries to Find Out Who Is Boss of the House, Man or Wife. V y-i To the Editor of the Globe. For experience of hash-foundry in mates I answer as follows: So here goes, with a very uncomfortable seat on the wood box, as umpire between man and wife to see who is boss. First one is under the stove; then the other. The umpire loses his hat in the melee and re fuses to take part on either side.and gets curses from both right and left. The umpire goes out for a drink; time, 14 minutes, returns and finds the hostile parties hugging and kissing like new lovers. All hands'- retire for breakfast next morning as per bill of fare, noth ing for dinner.warmed up; cold for sup per. This bill of fare repeated week in and out. Boarders growing beautifully . less and will be still lesser. Yours in haste, A Flat. | . St. Paul, Aug. 27. ' - '■'■■■' :*-*;:• HE PROBABLY STANDS IN. He Thinks There Are Too Many Boarders that Are Given to Kicking. To the Editor of the Globe.' - It is now ten years since I left my father's house -and became a wanderer on the face of the earth. During all. those years I,have eaten and slept in boarding houses. Some of them have been good, some of them have been bad, and, perhaps, one or two of them have been worse. -.All things considered,, however, I have-, fared..well enough. Usually I have - received 100 cents' wor.h "for. every dollar I. have paid the landlady; and,. when I have not, the landlady has always been a man. In order to avoid opportunity for a doubtful construction it will perhaps be proper for me to say that I have al ways paid the agreed price,* and have never left a place in debt for my board. There are two sides to j this question, the same as •to any.-other. There are good boarding and., agreeable landladies, and. there are poor boarding houses and disagreeable.-, landladies. There are also agreeable:boarders and detestable ones. -I. suspect that, if all landladies and all boarders were put into the same-bag;, and shaken up, there would as;many landladies", come out first as there would be boarders, and I think it quite probable that a close count of those * dropping v out last would dis close among * the .number a due propor tion of boarders. My observation is" that, as a rule, the boarder who treats his landlady with the same, considera tion he expects. from her, and who bears', in mind that she is under no obligations to giveahim 82 worth of^food, comfort or attention for SI in money,is well treated, well fed, well ..housed and well satisfied. i It too often is the case that it seems to . be the "proper caper" for the boarder toindulgel'm "flings" at his landlady for no other reason than to show his wit. : : And it is not quite an .uncommon thing for Jam: rear.,the same, contemptuous air toward the landlady", and to treat her with the same insolence that parvenus usually do their.servants,* and for much the same reason, id est, because he is conscious that his mariners and conduct are'not ."such" as to j insure' him the treatment and consideration; which is involuntarily and universally accorded to the well - bred-gentleman, and because : he-- is conscious that his manners-" and conduct are . not ..., such ,V ".as.'.';>: to .'re-; strain -undue familiarity—in short he feels that the landlady, is his equal or superior, and, lest others will think the same, he attempts by his conduct to re move all grounds for any comparison "Of himself!, with her. He 'succeeds, for he very soon makes it evident to all that he cannot compare with .. her ;in either good sense, good temper^ or. good breed ing. For. more than '.two ' years . I have been boarding and "rooming in one place in the city. Now,the landlady is ah elderly lady, and has a husband who lives" with her. I am t ' hot in love with any of her : daughters, and do not pay any devoted attention . to any of them; neither am I in anyway related to them, but Came.to the* house an utter stranger. So there is; no '.cause for my receiving : any -Other .attention -"than., every other -' boarder in ' the house re ceives, and* V! I ,' do not. I pay . the i same price -* and: "take the same fare .".and. the attention that every other boarder gets. I .chose the place' and "stay here because I get all I pay tor, and can't afford to pay any - better. During.the, two years 1 have usually . had good, fresh victuals, well cooked and well served. There has" been no more ' warming over than is done in any family where people live in comfort, but hot in luxury. "If I sleep late and get down to breakfast at 9 a. m., or later. I can always get a piece of bread, with: butter and coffee. If I am . sick, toast and tea are prepared as a matter of course, and lam consulted as to whether anything else would be more palatable. The landlady looks after send ing my clothes to the laundry and after my board bill, and does it all fairly and to my interest. ; If lam short of funds she allows my board bill to run longer than I'd like some of my friends to know, and never grumbles in the. least. I've not at any time been bothered with bed bugs. ' Two or three times I've seen a stray one, but always he. was half starved, and it was evident he had not fed at our table. However, all I had to do to have my room and bed thoroughly cleansed,was to go quietly and say 1 had captured a murderous bed bug and . ex ecuted him. The parlor and' all con veniences of the " place, are at my dis posal. She does not sew on my but tons or do my "mending; but a man never gets that done ; without tak ing the garment to. a tailor, any way, whether he live at home or in a board ing-house. There is no reason why she should do my mending or buttons. Ido not pay her to do them, as-' there is no peculiar relationship by reason whereof it becomes her duty to ido them, : and' she certainly has enough else to do. She is perhaps a little confidential," and tells me more of ; her; private- business than is necessrry, and at times is given to repeating for the fourth or fifth time the same story of former- better times and easier life, or some other chapter of family history. But that does not hurt me; and it seems to - make -her feel better. It is a * slight fault. :_ There is not a boarder in the nouse,and there has not been for two • years, -- Who has grumbled who has not more disagreeable faults than the landlady. '_ To hear some of the witticisms, so called, of some of the boarders when the landlady is out, a stranger would think we were paying $50 or $60 a month for accommodations ; instead* of $25 or $30. And ;. not, long,. since one of -. our boarders, with a contemptuous wave of the :hand,; rudely.' and insolently stopped her -in the middle of a sen tence :.' by :; "Give me •':some : bread Mrs. B—- !" *■ She was : simply explain ing to him that she has • not . neglected; him and that he t need * not have gone without his breakfast,-though -he had come in very morning. There are enough disagreeable' landladies and poor boarding houses, and-there are too many disagreeable and grumbling boarders. Nobody is * compelled to live with a " disagreeable > landlady or at her house If he can afford to pay for better. If I he can't afford to pay for better he has •hojright to grumble at the house or land lady. .If he can afford to pay for better and has either good sense or good breed ing, ho will quietly go to a better place, pay for it and enjoy It.. ,-,.-;. -*" Gosu. . .P. S.—l haven't made any attempt -to be witty In this epistle or to "ring in" a lot of chestnuts. I suppose I could say a lot of disagreeable things and work in a few stale jokes, but, as I am : not paid anything for my advice In this' case. I : don't Jeel called on to do anything more than state the facts and my views touch-" ing th-lm. This letter may be a little lojhg,»jJut if you make an equal division of V*pa<Je between "for" |and ."fornlnst" the "bourdin' house keeper,", you will probably, have . ample space for.this; Yours, etc. . - "Gosh." '• ■"•' j»t. Paul, Aug. 80. v-V;; AfSD IT CAME TO PASS. He Tells of Butter That is Horny •-5 - . ■ ■•' . , - 77^, Headed. . T»tho Editor of tho Globe. . And It came to pass when I had-.en tered into the gates of the city, I sfi-s]gi|tway began search for a place of rest and refreshment, for 1 was aweary and did hunger and thirst. And as 1 passed upon the streets. of the city, I came unto an house of humble design. Upon the porch thereof there sat a mul titude, and the faces of the people were drawn with hunger, even nigh unto starvation. And seeing thus, I com muned within myself saying: "This is the place- I. long have sought; I will ■ enter and speak with the owner.". And : as I > approached the house, a woman came forth to meet me, and she was of large size and great girth, and the hairs of her head were of diverse and many hues. And when I had made known my wants, she spoke unto me - and said: "Stranger, thou art welcome. ; Enter into mine house, eat,. drink and be merry, and-I will be a mother unto thee and care for thee." And I -answered and said unto her: "Verily I say unto thee, if 1 ask for bread wilt thou give me a stone?" And she made answer thus: "Nay, thou shalt have the best my table canst afford. And thou shalt have a bed of down whereon to rest thy weary., head." And I answered and said: "I will abide with thee for seven days, and if thy food and- shelter please me, then will 1 remain with thee forever." And she bade me enter the house, and take refreshment. And when I had entered tho door of the principal chamber, there \ smote upon mine ear such fearful sounds . that I paused, afraid to go on. For_ the .noise was of great volume and full of discord. And , I beheld before ' me a maiden, seated upon a stool, and with her hands she smote violently upon an-instrument before her, which caused fearful sounds to issue. therefrom. . And ,she : . cried, aloud in a fearful voice at the same time. And I said unto the .-woman of the house:. "Who is this maiden, and. wherefore does she cry aloud in .such" manner. Is she sick or in pain that she maketh such noise, or*is,site" sore in anger?" And the woman' spake and said: "Nay, she doth but sing. and. in her vain and feeble miud'shCucalleth it music." And I began to repent me that I had entered the house. , . 7.7.". , * And likewise there lived .there, a man of-great wisdom, and; the ..things he. knew not, were known to,' no 1 person. He was a man of many \yays arid full of knowledge and conceit; Arid .he. was a. physician who attended ',;to",the'.* ill of v equities, and, likewise, was a prophet', and soothsayer, and the things he. knew were many. - ...-. VVV VV'*~;.' '•'Anef there was a scribe- likewise, who. dealt there, and his forehead was high, approaching even unto the .--• back ;of Ins -neck.. And likewise .there ; came uhto'; the : house, .at >. diverse ;. and. many' times, a man, of : great Stature. And his height was nigh unto Six and one-half cubits, and his bulk was great. ■ And it came to pass that a Wmrler arrived from ..a . foreign ;i land- With'a message, . and when ■■= he, had read! it lie was full of joy, and when the day Was nigh spent and night was.upon 'the laud, he was full of hilarity :! and; 'c'prn' juice, for he had received .glad tid ings from the land of his birth, saying ■ niitohiiu: "Thy father's wife's broth ers mother is dead, and hath bequeathed unto you great wealth." s-f ■■'*' • -i^M-i , And hesallied forth and painted the city a deep crimson hue. - ..,..., - And as he passed along the streets of the city he Chanced to meet one of the city's guards. ::*;-■':."'"■. '■ '■■'■'-r""-\ ■'■* -' And when the guard saw' his; condi tion he would have seized upon him and yanked him unto the cooler, but when lie saw his great size lie -was sore afraid."' And he stood by the path and"' let him pass by. . - nrit :r.^a:*:o:--.*•.*' And when .morning came lie.. was found asleep in a bypath.'and 'they re moved him unto to his home., ;"' And lo! his head, that was of large ' size, had grown still larger, even so large that his hat would not suffice to 'cover it. And there also came unto him another cour ier, who brought him news that made him tear his hair and smite breast, for was not the man of wealth of ;the .day before, and • his mother's sister's brother's : mother.'* had : be-' queathed her fortune of gold and silver and precious stones * for a '.'great'", and noble purpose. For it came to pass that she was of kind heart, and, "with her wealth, had built a temple where imbe cile dogs and attenuated.cats might find shelter and rest. * And lo! arid, behold, the man was mad. And it came to pass that when we assembled at the morning meal, and all-with one accord did try to. break our fast, there were murmunngs of; anger, for there could be v fouud -no means wherewith to accomplish what we sought. ".* ".'". 7"\"l,:v;>*V:;,. "-,.;. '-'.- -:., r '7 :: I And, after,l had masticated a piece of: meat until Ino longer had strength to .proceed. I cried aloud: ' "Alas, woe is me, for I am but weak -fin strength and cannot proceed, and, alas, I ; can get no strength from that which is by me, for my coffee is weaker than I." •?,'. * And I looked . across the table, and behold, the physician : who attends to the ills of horses, and 10, and behold! he was masticating his food' with ex ceeding great joy and comfort.! And I said unto myself: "How is this thus." And I looked once more, and ' behold! the mystery was made clear." For unto' his jaw he had fastened a string, which he worked with his foot, and the masti cation of his food was done with great and exceeding ease. And the food and meat the people who dwelt in that house ate',- was exceeding strange. | The % fish and flesh were of an ancient time, and the* butter of great ..strength,, and its hoary hairs ' did give \ it; a most -aged and .Venerable appearance.. And there were'many viands of.. which no man daredatoeat, for to'*:eat- thereof was death. Therefore, many things were upon the table whereof, no man knew the name, and which were exceedingly rare.: i .-.._;. 'Andwhen night was upon the land, rhiedjme unto my bed-chamber, . And 16 and 'behold! the bed was not of down, but brbke down, and I . was cast prone upon the floor. And I arose from the ground in great anger. And when I Had composed myself . to sleep there came from the four corners of the earth multitude insects; and they fell upon hie, and would have devoured me, but I fought and beat them so that they died. Aha \l. set my foot -•- upon - them and crushed . them, . and gave them a poke. And lb! and behold! I did most sorely regret that I had crushed them, for they were lepers and unclean. And I held my nose for I was offended. And when the daylight began to- approach I was full of i joy; For I said unto myself: I will gather together my worldly goods, and this day will I depart from hence, never to re turn again. And when .-the, woman of the house appeared I went unto her and said::- "Good - woman, •.• I •-* must leave - . thy . house to-day, V*■ for in my stomach *- there,V is ' a.;' great vacancy, and growlings of discontent.; Therefore must I leave thee and get me hence, for I fear that 1 shall' enter into my eternal rest many years in ■ advance ot the -regulation '-,-■ time. > And, verily, I say unto you, I am not ready to die.":. - And she made answer iv anger,, and said: "Sure, an' I'd lbike to know.what in the divil yez espicfc. of a.boardin! house - for.' $3 '-. dollars • week."., . Do' yez want poi ivery day, and the loikes of that? The; quicker - yez • takes ' yerseif away from here the better ■■' it'll be for -yez. J >*. .: .■: yy '-:.,,... , -k.-^-v,; '-■•'And it came to pass that I went. St. Paul, Aug. 27. . Roxie. COULN'T WRITE :A CHAPTER. He Has to Eat Steak That Would Make First-Class Trunk Hinges. To the Editor ot the Globe: With your kind permission I shall en deavor to give . my • friends and fellow "boarders" my experience in a"pay-for what-you-don't-gct" house. For the past eight months I have been strug gling in one of the . above-styled man sions. As some of my fellow-sufferers mentioned in the columns of your newsy journal in last Sunday's issue, it is useless to mention the "steak," or what I generally call "trunk hinges." But as I remarked to my room-mate last evening that there is a saying, come to think of it. guess it is in the Bible, that "all flesh is grass," but added that I thought that this must have been bailed prairie hay. At breakfast we are called from our two-by-three rooms, and after arranging our toilet we grope our way through a dark hallway to a sort of lad der stairway and descend two flights, which takes us to the basement; here you behold a lot of hungry, half-starved human beings, with glaring eves, and one not used to the premises, the sur rounding circumstances, etc., would think he had "emigrated by chance to another planet." An old, dirty, . shag gily dressed "Svenska" maid comes in, and with the usual, "Vout you hef. bcekschtake or pickled poark?" A cold chill plays through my veins at the very thought. The coffee is always brought in on a stretcher, and then is hardly strong enough to lie on our stomachs. The bread is home-made, and,l'll wager my month's salary, is the champion heavy-weight of the city. Their pies are what are termed "affectionate" pies—the top:" and bottom crusts are so affectionate nothing can get between them. The butter and- one of my low-mart had a "setto" one day. The butter knocked him out in the first round. After we have finished our tussel through the day with food that would kill, in time, an Italian vagabond, we pursue our regular evening rounds to some billiard hall or to hear the sweet strains of the female orchestra at the Bodega, except on park nights, where in a mea sure we forget our troubles. At night, or early in the morning, we ascend those memorable steps and retire. We have patent beds, which we might de scribe as follows: Bedstead of softest : pine wood—about the softest thing there is on the bed. mattresses stuffed with old coffee sacks: sheets, also used for table spreads, which have not taken a bath since last carnival season other things to correspond. The landlady is a widow with three children. I have made quite an impression on her by ad • miring her "and her children, arid by praising the fare and the execution in general of her ability as a boarding house manager. You see I have a new place engaged, and have not paid for six weeks. My present place of "chew ing" is on Tenth street. I almost forgot to mention the bugs which have their rendezvous in my room. They take the closet as their private office, where they hold council in plotting an attack on the. whites. Pardon me for occupying so much space,, but .this only a line of a chapter I might write. Yours for sym pathy, * Tea It. Coffee. y St. Paul, Aug. 22. V : HIS LANDLADY SINGS. And When She Does Her Board -; ers Wear a Tired Look. To the Editor of the Globe. Tf-hl am stopping at a "fair" boarding house; i. c., the landlady is "fair" as regards her complexion, but she is not at all "fair" in regard to her charges for ■her beastly "fare." I pay 95 per week for bed and board. I. liked the "grub," the grub she set out,well enough until I ■learned one day how and where she pro ' cured it. You see, we usually have "coffee, dry toast and meat stew for :breakfast; meat stew, dry toast and coffee for dinner; and dry toast, meat stew and coffee for supper. I learned from a fellow boarder who was unable to pay his board bill, and attempted to "work" part of it out," that she was in the habit of sending him to the butcher shop every morning .to ask the butcher to "please give Mrs. Q. what old bones and meat you have under the counter; she wants it for her hens!" I also learned from the aforesaid delinquent that the "meat stew the boarders were, so fond (?) of three times a day' was made out of the old scraps given by the butcher, and which by all manner of justice and right belonged to her lens. The "clay to art" was ■ also purloined in the same manner from the baker shop, under the same excuse, viz:- "She wants it for her hens! !*' How she got the apology for coffee is a mystery to us all. My landlady is from the lH>gs of Ireland. As neighbors we are blessed (?) by having a boarding house presided over by a German wom an, and another commanded by a sable daughter of Africa. What a jabbering - the three hash foundry generals do have once In a while "over the garden wall." Over the entrance of our land lady's • house is a huge motto "God bless our home." The landlady's voice is any thing but melodious. She only at tempts to "sing" one song and only two lines of that (thank heaven). "As I listen to the nightengale sing, tra-la, As I listen to the nightengale sing."' «" But to hear her rasping voice from early dawn till late at night is simply . awful. . I must "give the devil his due" .andacknowledge that I omitted "pota toes"- from the bill' of fare. - We gen erally have the above-named fruit for dessert at Sunday dinner. . Yours in. despair,- - .. Baxney McCoy. * •;_ St. Paul, Aug. 27. ' VV.-'f'": :-r on summit AVENUE. A Boarder Tells a Tale Which Leaves One in Doubt as to Whether He Is Happy or Other wise. To the Editor of the Globe. Ours is not one of your ordinary, typi ical boarding houses. It is'typical in that we have "spells" of high living, only to be followed by a menu that a St. Anthony hill policeman would laugh you to scorn for looking upon. It is very much like unto other boarding houses in the make-up of the family, the landlady having two daughters. But there the similarity ends, for both are pretty and young— is directly the -opposite of what is generally the case— and, oh! ye gods, how I grieve to tell it, they are both spoken for. Pretty girls that know how to keep house generally are. -.-.. ..' ; ■.' '•"-. v': ""* The aforesaid odd combination is lo cated on Summit avenue, and not many blocks ! from St. Peter nor Rice. • Our cuisine is, on the whole, pretty, fair, but sometimes it goes on a strike, and, when it does, and the landlady takes a hand herself, the boarders gen erally know it. We have" too many types of character here, some of which : are -.. decidedly interesting. - We have the too-too girl, and the sedate old girl; and some wretch was profane enough to remark, on the advent not long since . of a new delegation of boarders, that we were going to start a kindergarten. But, bless you, the dear little things i are so cute and sweet that the man who failed to fall in love with them should be stamped as a crusty old bachelor, and forever . tabooed by all fond young mammas who so ' lovingly. dote ,on . their little pets." One '■ type .of. character - which is altogether too numerous around our humble hearth is the young man who is the "fresh" arrival—"fresh" in more ways than one who takes it for granted that boarding at the same house confers upon him the . privilege of addressing any lady at will, • regardless to him, apparently of the use less formality of an introduction. He has read Bunyon's "Pilgrim Progress," and is a • regular reader of Puck, and consequently what he don't know about the arts and sciences is, in his opinion, 'scarcely;. worth learning—though it would make several large hooks.;. There are a number of other interesting feat ures about, our boarding house that 1 ' should like to both "cuss" and discuss; but the unsympathetic public might be • come" too well informed as to our do mestic relatiohs, which I think ought to •be held sacred.: So,; '.'excuse - me, I'll ; tell you no more." v ,- "Veritas." --.- St. Paul, Sept. 8. WHOUESOME_ FRUITS. When You Patronize Fruit Stands be Sure You Get Good, Healthy Fruit. It is Liable to Be Too Green and in Many Cases Over Ripe. Stocks of Partly Rotten Fruit Sold on the Streets by Italian Venders. They Are Perfectly Satisfied With Quick Sales and Very \ Small Profits. --.'■• "_,V ICA sweeta bananas, jjfink 20 centa for a dozen," /ss&. mivf'is the cry, in tolerably ikxfa TO fair English, of the 83) *. «ja 111* Italian fruit vender, as »TBM-.''»i\ -10 P,isnts a two fill \w ©mI w wheeled and well Ha \|\ . WgR % loaded cart up and MS V l!* <? down the wooden side fflß -\ "^^ » walks on several back <£% v- residence streets on the "hill." It suggests a thought as to what the consumption of fruit might be in this city. Chatting -with a Third street com mission merchant developed the follow ing: "I could not say just how much fruit, is brought into this city during the sum mer. The only way to get at it, and it would be very laborious, and may be impracticable, is to find out the number. of carloads unloaded into this city, and then fix upon the | average value of a carload and make a total of the lot. But I . should say, as a random guess, that at least $200,000 worth of fruit is sold in this city during, the hot summer mouths—l mean for street consumption. Of course you haven't got any idea of the amount of fruit, that is purchased by frugal people and put up for the winter. If I should say over $2,000,000 worth of fruit was required to satisfy the wants of this city for one year, considering its direct con sumption and its use in various ways, I suppose you would foster a doubt as to my veracity. You collect statistics upon it, though, and I guess you will see that my figure is very modest. And yet, with all the amount of fruit consumed, Dr. Jones, the health com missioner, says he has not been able to trace any bad malady to it, nor even to the.eating of partly spoiled fruit. True, some persons are so constituted that the V EATING OF OYERKIPE fruit may give them bowel troubles, and the eating of unripe or partly rotten fruit will cause cramps, colic, cholera morbus and various troubles of the stomach and bowels, but there are some people who would be similarly affected by the eating of simply the most whole some fruit. Cholera, the dread epi demic, requires a specific poison, a spe cific germ, so no one need be troubled on that point Now any one can pass along the most frequented thoroughfares and notice large quantities of unwholesome, un ripe and partly decayed fruit. The safe guard, however, against -any disease which might result from an injudicious and indiscriminate devouring of fruit is common sense. The most natural in teligence revolts against taking into the mouth anything like a rotten banana or pear, although there are some unnat ural epicures who do not seem satisfied with anything not already over-ripe and ready to rot. Another safeguard against the consumption of unwhole some fruit is that to bring into the mar ket anything liable to spoil, would hurt the : ..PECUNIARY INTEREST of the V dealer, and . retailer. The fruit merchant or commission man couldn't get it off his hands, for the retailer wouldn't .buy,. it,. .simply because he couldn't sell it—it would spoil—while in the show window, or probably even in the crate while on the truck, and that would be nothing more nor less than a dead loss. At least such |is • Dr. Jones' theory. • y . It's a curious thing, though, that in the city health code the word fruit was left out altogether. The leaving of rot- j ten fruit upon any premises, however, may come under the words "any un wholsome substance or thing.whatever," in section 33, or the words "or.vegetable excrementative or other substance which is .offensive, or which by process of decomposition may become offensive" in section 33, in the part of the ordinance relating to nuisances; and it may come under the head "vegetables *** * * not being healthy, fresh, sound, whole some, pure and safe for human food," in section 61, which prohibits the sale of any adulterated or unwholesome food. The framer of the code seems to have regarded fruit as of the vegetable king dom, which, while correct for the con venience of the student of science and philosophy, is quite contrary to the con ventional notion. If such be the case, any owner or occupant of a building, under section 64, in which unwhole some fruit is stored, or on sale, is -"-• .--* : ■o-V-'. LIABLE to prosecution, and a fine of not more than '$100, nor less than $25. But the health department is vested with general authority in all matters of city sanitary, and has the power to con demn any" bad ' fruit, and any person who refuses to obey the mandate of that department is liable to the penalties mentioned. Accordingly, Dr. Jones, assisted by Meat Inspector Lamb and his corps of assistant health inspectors, have condemned several quantities of fruit. . A close watch is kept upon the commission merchants, and a sharp eye upon the Italian fruit stands, and the groceries, small stores and stands run by a more, popular class of people. For merly it was the custom to dump all decayed fruit and vegetable matter and other garbage at the foot of chestnut street, where it was quite handy for the cheap vender to go and pick up ." .- - CAST-A-WAY FRUIT, and sell it upon the streets at "ten cents a dozen," but the city dumping ground became such a nuisance that it was de cided to remove it to about a mile below the Mintzer farm, down the river,* on ' the south,: or "west," side- There all the refuse is now taken, and a mounted sanitary policeman. Officer Conway, is stationed there, ever on the alert to see. that every bit of garbage is dumbed into the river. Any person who fails to dump his load of * disgusting rottenness into the river, is very liable to prompt arrest imprisonment and punishment. Nevertheless, despite every official precaution, fruit, which is on the verge of decay, is sola. ;. When the dealer sees that he has fruit on hand which is lia ble to get too ripe, he is anxious to sell it, according to Dr. Jones, although he would not criminally sell rotten fruit and an easy customer is found in the Italian proprietor of a small stand, or cart, whO, being proverbially a very thrifty person, . satisfied with quick -sales and small profits, leaps at the in ducement of securing '■-■7"' ■■'■'■ A GOOD BARGAIN, and purchasing a big lot at low figures, places it, upon the street and eagerly, watches every passer-by. It is an inter esting study to watch the average Ital ian bargaining for heated bananas, or half ret ton peaches and pears, and it is equally ;' interesting to notice the same ; fruit - soon ■ ■ afterward,. nicely displayed, and lying "right side up with " eve." And the Italian has not the ex clusive privilege of this thing. Apple that are wormy, peaches and pears with a -diseased . look on the - under side, bunches ■: of grapes which. are only a third eatable, and bananas as black as funeral crape, all find their way into the hands of the cheated consumer, but the money"< circulates, and, strange to say, mortality keeps down and sickness is only a harmless, passing affair. ' * There are two classes of fruit-sellers among -the -Italians,* which should be borne hi mind. The one class is estab lished in attractive little -stores, the ether class satisfies itself with temporary stands upon the street corners. The cheapest and probably the least eatable fruit .is sold ■ at. the•'." street-corner stands, with the exception of one or two like those along East Third street. The proprietors of - the j stands along Third street are pretty well established and may be found year after year. Amon*' them and the little storekeepers seems to be a common understanding as to what the price of fruit shall be. Pears and peaches are set down at "four for 25 cents." Now, none of. these shrewd poolers expect to see any pedestrian purchase four pears at a time, so each 'four for 25 cents" pear and peach is obligingly sold for 10 cents straight, net ting the _ cunning swarthy immigrant from the banks of the Tiber 40 cents for four or $1.20 a dozen—a pretty good price by the way. The fact is if the aforesaid peaches and pears were sold at 5 cents each it would still be a very profitable business and the price reason able. But there are several curious ways among the average vendor of doubling his profits at the expense of the un sophisticated buyer. C. F. J. ■— m -_' - Conjuring in the Family. Philadelphia pall. Tommy Bagley—There was a wizard at the show, maw. and he did the won derf idlest trick you ever saw. lie took a silver dollar, moved it around a little while and turned it into a rose." Bagley— nothing, Tommy.beats all the wizards in existence. He can make $20 disappear in a single night so completely that it is never heard of again." . *-^ -. , - . r; ;: PIN MONEY'FOR WIVES. A Harried Man Explains How to Ar range Home Money Matters. PAY YOUR WIFE A SALARY. - : She Is a Good Business Manager and Will Make a Dollar Go a Long Way. YOUNG married man was talking with a Globe re porter yesterday about various mat ters, and incidently touched on the sub ject of married la dies' spending money. "I am quite interested," said the young man, "in the little article, Tin (Money for Wives,' (which was printed in last Sunday's Globe. I have given considerable attention to the sub ject at one time and another, but the matter came up for serious considera tion something over two years ago, when I was married. I appreciated the fact that a woman has her little expenses as well as a man, and of course that is per fectly right and proper, but at first I felt something of the same sort of em barrassment about offering money that I suppose a woman feels about asking for it. On the other hand, I knew in stinctively that before my newly-made bride would ask me for funds she would go without many little luxuries, and perhaps necessities, the want of which could not be anticipated by even the most thoughtful and devoted bridegroom. So 1 hit upon the scheme of taking occasional private looks at my wife's pocketbook, and whenever the treasury appeared rather low I quietly replenished it; but I have since learned that women regard their pocketbooks as a kind of sacred property, not only be cause they don't like to have a fellow know every time they spend 10 cents for a rosebud or a quarter for caramels, but because they oftentimes stuff their purses half full of private memoranda and items of interest to females only. I gradually perceived all this and one day determined j to make a clean breast of the whole matter; and I did. I hinted about the propriety of having some sort of system about these con founded money matters, perhaps ah al lowance or something of that kind, and the result was like uncorking a cham pagne bottle. In the next fifteen min utes 7..7*7 --■''*. ■A';y;y I RECEIVED OPINIONS and information enough to furnish food for reflection for a considerable portion of my natural life. I wonder whether women discuss these things together, or how the deuce they think up so many overwhelming arguments in favor of allowances. This is a part of what my sensible little wife told me: Most every woman likes to dress nicely and have pretty things, and sometimes they want to buy flowers and candy and ice cream and soda water and—well, lots of little things. Now I like all those things just as much as anybody does, and if I can have them I want them; if I can't I'll make up my mind to go with out. I never want you to say I've been extravagant or that my expenses have hurt your business. Give me whatever regular allowance you can afford and I will make it suffice. You can increase it when yen feel you can afford to, or you can reduce it if it becomes neces sary. 1 can spend $5,000 a year or I can clothe myself on IS a month— let me know what I can depend on. "Well, I thought the matter over, and I'll tell you what I concluded to do. My: business was new, and we could only afford to live quietly and modestly. I deducted the estimated cost of our or dinary expenses from the total amount I felt we could afford to spend during the year," and the remainder gave me .the sum we could use for clothes and incidentals. This sum I halved— half for my wife and one-half for me. Then I divided my wife's share into twelve equal parts, and on the first day of each month I laid her allowance ok her dressing table, and I can assure you the result was highly satisfactory tc both of us. In the first place, I never have to give a thought to my wife's ■financial needs, and I know to a cenl what she spends—or, at least, what sh€ has to spend— I know she enjoys the independence she is certainly en titled to it. She knows exactly what she can depend upon, and MAKES HEX CALCULATIONS :J.\".'.. accordingly, but the best of it is that cash is paid for everything— unex pectedly large bills come in to bother me. It was a surprise to me to see how much she could do with her allowance. She made every dollar go a long ways. At the end of the first year my business had begun to be more profitable, and as I wanted my wife to share mv prosper ity I doubled her allowance. I supposed she would buy more new dresses and bonnets and other things, but she did nothing of the sort...On the contrary she did not increase her personal ex penses one penny, but has so far put every dollar of her extra allowance into our home—pretty pieces of furniture, rugs and other articles for use and orna ment. We have ' now had two years' experience With the monthly allowance scheme and lean assure you lam most ardent advocate of the system. I not only believe that it is right and just that a wife should have her indepenent allowance, but I think it is the most sat isfactory method for both parties, and several young married men who have adopted the . system . at my suggestion have assured me of the happy results of a few months' trial." WAITING. Once in the twighlight of an autumn day, I stood upon a beaten path that led - The shepherd lads to where their charges fed, pasture.' high above the uoland way; Solemn, and lone, and still the mountain lay; And, like a dome above a temple spread. . The blue sky stretched its' beauty overhead, j with not one floating cloud to preach decay. Always— the hush through the soil •;;■; light . V \ -:, - , . Slow waning—the wide solitude was fraught with mystic impulse from the silenc* .'.'-■-'" light- Half intonations heralding the night— V. Thai •to my heart, awebound, conveyed -•'■;.■-. sense ._-■.*•-. .*• •-,-■-•• :*■ •- Of calm . expectancy and questionless snr >' pease. - ... chamber*-" Journal. -