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BORDER WARFARE. PERSONAL ' ENMITIES THAT WERE SETTLED IX THE XAME OF THE FLAG. EARLY DAYS OF YOUNGERS. THE MOTTO OF THE GUERRILLAS WAS ..A SCALP FOR A SCALP." 1 HOW THE JAMES BOYS BEGAN. I Incidents In Uuiiiitrell"*" Career —The roans-era All Once Driven From Home. What was known as the guerrilla warfare oh the border was more ex- ting than the Mosaic law. The for mer's banner was a black flag and the motto, carried out to the letter, was, "A scalp for a scalp." Long after the conciliation and the kiss of peace between the blue and gray, more than a quarter of a century ago, it was considered unsafe on the Missouri-Kansas border for the Coleman Vommer. (As He Appeared During the War.) survivor, guerrilla or jayhawker, to even forgive the dead that had been engaged in the strife, says the Chi cago Chronicle. There are now few left of either band of that no-quarter organization, one side of which was captained by Jennison, Lane and Ransom, of Kansas, and Penick, of Missouri, the other led by Quantrell, Anderson the Younger brothers and ] the James boys. All but one of the j list that abused the blue are dead. | Three of the latter that rode in any j uniform," but which were Confed- j crate at heart always, are living. ; The Younger brothers, Coleman and . James, are serving a life term in the j Minnesota penitentiary for murder growing out of - a bank robbery. Frank James is a free man. During the summer of this year I was in the house . of a man who j threw off his pistols and belt only j after he had rode out of his own . country into another, where he of- | fered to take up the cause of an j Austrian prince. That renewed his I Americanhood. He said to me the night in which we talked over the events, some of which I am about to give you: "It's good medicine for an American who has had a grudge against his own country, this thing of fighting for a foreigner." I am anxious to put this man at once well up in the estimation of the readers, and I will be pardoned for the statement' here that he is an old typo, and for more than twenty-four years he has worked at his case, in one office, never employing a "sub," except when sickness demanded it. I said to him after he had told me of the"""sacking of Lawrence, Kan., by Quantrell: "Lawrence did not end the feud." His manner and language showed that some of the storm of his recol lections was unspent. "End it?" he asked. "Hell didn't break loose un til after Lawrence. One of Quan trell's men had gone off on an expe diton under Quantrell's order and was cut off. He went into ambush until hunger drove him out. When he lifted his head above the prairie grass he looked into seventy-two jay hawkers' guns. One of the orders of every guerrilla was to stand and die when outnumbered. He knew how many bullets he had, and that his time had come. He opened the battle, and five jayhawkers reeled out of their saddles. The other six ty-seven charged him and the guer rilla gave up. They scalped him and cut off his ears. He had eleven balls in his body, any one of which would have done the work. That was the first scalping done by white men dur ing the war. We found his body the next day and buried it. No vulture ever feasted on a dead guerilla. We took an oath and started for the jay hawker camp. We came upon them in the night, and not one of them had time to try and find God. One guerrilla alone scalped four jay hawkers. From that hour the or der was extermination." Fra Diavolo, in the Apenines, was thought to be an Incarnation or des peration. Strangely enough, it has been woven into a song. El Em pecinado was the merciless creation of the junta of Spain, but he was a messenger of peace compared to the guerrilla who wrote vac victis on his black flag under which he. pillaged, burned and slew. The implacability of the guerrilla was based on no fancied wrong. Quantrell was a bold fighter from the start, but he pretended to have a Awarded Highest Honors— World's Fair, DR * CREAM BAKING WWWttR . MOST PERFECT MADE. A pur? Grape Cream of Tartar Powder. Free horn Ammonia, Alum or any other adulterant. 40 YEAKS THE STANDARD. principle at stake, until his favor ite brother, an Innocent boy, . who .was his mother's favorite, was killed in an attack made upon the . home by thirty-two men, who claimed they did It in defense of their country. Quantrell organized eight men' and swore to avenge his brother's death. The awful oath was kept, until every man who had made the attack oa his home had paid the penalty save two. It was at this stage of the game that he met Frank and Jesse James. To them he told the story of his bereavement and revenge, and | they became his followers. The story met with a response from these two J boys. They were farm lads when the shot was fired at Sumter. In the first year of the war there was more bitterness on the border than at any time thereafter. IN NAME OF THE FLAG. Hatreds and enmities engendered before the struggle were settled in the name of the flag, just as the crimes were committed in the French revolution. These James boys had a stepfather, Dr. . Samuels, who had some enemies. They put on blue uniforms and hung him to a tree, where he was left for dead. They ■went into the field where Jesse was plowing and took him into the woods and slashed his body with sabers. Returning to the homestead near by, a house which later became a shelter for the sick and weary guerrilla, they made prisoners of the mother and her daughters and sent them to St. Joseph, Mo., and put them into prison that was reeking with vermin. When the women became a care to the prison keeper he released them. When they returned to the home stead the two boys were gone. They had joined Quantrell. Frank was eighteen .years old and Jesse was sixteen. That was the beginning of their career in' avengement and rapine, arson, killing, and later on train robbing. It is not difficult to understand why they listened to Quantrell, nor why they followed. In 1861 Quantrell enlisted in Kansas as a private in a troup of cavalry He crossed into Missouri, and was a good soldier under the leadership of Price, who was a man of probity as well as courage, and Who was idol ized by the Southern sympathizers of Missouri. Quantirell was with Price at Lexington, and followed him in his retreait to Osage. He had also been at Carthage* and Wilson's creek. Price said be was the handsomest man he ever saw in the saddle. When ■the idol of the Missouri Confederates reached the border of Arkansas ev ery man's time had expired. Thait is, every man was at liberty to go and enlist in the trans-Missouri depart ment or turn back. Up to that time not one of Price's soldiery owed an allegiance to the Confederacy of Davis. , * • ... When the alternative was present ed to Quantrell he said he would re turn to Missouri. He told his old commander this: "I have some mat | ters there to settle, and in doing so i I can be of more* service to you than I can be here." " Price knew him, and knew what he meant. 7, He parted with him after this ". conference, and as -QuanitreM rode away eight men followed him. Every one of these eight men was well moumted and armed, and each one of them had a personal account on his hands. - .'■ ■ ; .-. . One of them was Coleman Young er. He had the mark of the rope of a jayhawker on his neck. .In less than sixty days these eight men came upon a camp of militia near Inde pendence, Mo., and Cole Younger there killed his first man and made a notch on the handle of - his pistol* It seemed to whet his appetite. ' ■ A BRAVE WOMAN. • -•--- This same man, sixty days later, at the head of a command given him by Quantrell, dashed Into Independence and terrified it, and drove out some soldiers. There were some women in that country who glorified in the Confederate cause, and who aided it in many ways worthy of a higher pur pose. One of these women was sup posed to know the ambuscade of Cole man Younger. A jawhawker com mander arrested her, and ordered his men to fall in behind. The woman was put in the lead; behind her were the raised, carbines of the jawhawkers. They were to shoot her if she attempt ed to escape. She was to' lead them to Younger's camp. She never faltered. When she came to the ambush Young er saw the situation and withdrew for a parley. Within forty minutes a man rode out of the wood with a white handkerchief tied to a hazel switch. The jayhawker commander, supposing the messenger was the bearer of a proposal to surrender, received him. The messenger handed him a note written with a pencil and on Charles Will in Quasi I ••oil. (When He Raided Lawrence.) brown paper. It was; not what the jay hawker expected. The reading of this note thirty-three years later will not embitter the most loyal men. Here is a copy: "We make no war upon women. We whose names are hereunto annexed re spectfully ask of Col. Peabody, the commander, the privilege, of fighting eight of his best men, hand to hand, and. that he make the. selection." The first signature to this challenge was Coleman Younger. The jayhawk ers laughed and sent the message back. The next day the, jayhawker.- removed the woman from her place of danger, and there was a fight. It was unequal, but both ; sides quit satisfied and rode away in opposite directions. "->;.'•;'. Independence, Mo., "continues to .be a base of operations for the Jayhawkers. It was always necessary for. the" guer rilla to know the- situation there. An old woman rode into the town^ with a basket of "garden ' truck on her saddle and went trafficking among the soldiers. She sold out her stock and mounted to return. As she was riding out a jay-* hawker called her back. That was sus picious. Th? old woman pulled up her dress, drew a pistol from her bootleg, fired and killed the jayhawker, and put spurs to her horse. There was a run ning fire, until the old woman was be yond the reach of her pursuers. That "old woman" was Coleman Younger. YOUNGER WAS A TERROR. There might have been fewer graves THE SAINT PAUL DAII/P GtOSE: __6NDAf MORNING, DECEMBER 23, 1895. IN A SINGLE SENTENCE. Here Is a Vivid - Picture Drawn Willi a -Few Clear, Sharp Strokes. , Once a clever Japanese artist drew with seven pen-strokes a spirited pic ture, of a horse. Here is a man's por trait in one sentence: : '•'■,•<- ;■• - • - "What is (the use in living If I must feel so badly all the time and unequal to anything?" '-\ '.-. -~'v' ' .'-;>; '•-> ', :" It is necessary to fill in the outlines? To say that the man was languid and fretful, a victim of physical weakness, mental depression and a general relax ed, worn-out condition of the system? He is one of a great host who have no well-defined, prostrating disease, yet are never entirely well. '•',:• -.'-■•■"-..' Any thoughtful student of the ani mal Man will tell him that he needs a stimulant— to help nature along by Infusing tone and energy. j People are properly doubtful about the' powers of remedies sometimes suggest- \ ed, but they soon learn that Duffy's Pure Malt Whiskey deserves the confl- j dence so generally reposed It it. T ~,v> There Is not much happiness In Hy ing unless one Is at least equal to the- - ordinary exactions of life. The drain on one's stock of strength is particu larly severe in a fickle climate where enervating warmth and blighting cold follow each other in quick succession. This is especially true just at this sea son- of the year. When a mild stimu lant is wanted, sure to invigorate the system and •to leave no harmful ef fect behind, nothing -approaches Duf fy's Pure Malt Whiskey. 1- ': Inquire and you will be surprised to find how many friends of yours are also friends of Duffy's Pure Malt. i in the grasses along the border but for another incident. Younger had become a terror. His father was an. ex-judge and an ex-lawmaker in the state. He was an old politician. and a man who had given council in aid of the Con federacy: He was the father of four teen children, and the owner of a stock farm in Cass county, Missouri. He was driven from his home, his horses were taken and his farm devastated. That was war. Coleman Younger could not object to that. ; The old man, chased to Kansas City, undertook later to re turn to his home. He had been told to stay away. He was killed on the prai rie and his body turned into the grass, where it was found by Coleman Young er and his brothers James and Bob. The sons knelt by the lifeless form and with clasped hands over it they swore to avenge his death. While they were, taking the oath the jayhawkers were plying the torch to the Younger home. The mother of these boys, deprived of necessities, and broken-hearted, died of consumption a little while after. Be fore she closed her eyes for the last time her younger boy was taken from her side, hung up and left for dead. That was war on the border. The Inci dent intensified it and prolonged it. THEIR LAST DRINK. 7- Sometimes it has a ghastly grotesque aspect. The snows of one Christmas season whitened the hills and house tops of Kansas City. The blizzard was fantastical as a coyote. Cole Younger and his band were not far away, and a command of jayhawkers held , the town. The latter had taken posses sion of a saloon and were playing cards and drinking when some of the church bells were clanging the tidings. A company of strangers went into the sa loon and joined in the game and order-* ed drinks as fast as they could be served. The strangers left the table, went to the bar, ordered another round to the tables. As the players drained their glasses there was a flash and a report, and another and another and some shrieks and moans and a hurrying' of feet. The men who had ordered the last round disappeared and rode away. The drifting snows covered their course.*- The alarm was given and when the soldiers from quarters went into the saloon' they found their ..com rades dead, with their cards still In their hands. The face of one of the dead men was cut with the splinters, of the glass from which he had drunk his. draught of death. The man who planned this Christmas sui"rise and who had carried it into 'execuU^n was Cole Younger. It was his way 01 celebrating Christmas. '""' — : — '— Low Holiday Excursion Rates To points in Eastern Canada via "The Milwaukee." Tickets now on sale. For particulars apply at City Ticket Of fice, 365 Robert street, or Union Depot, St. Paul. Use of the Lemon. Sliced lemon is almost as indispen sable an adjunct to the toilet as of the tea table. It will, if used with rea son, keep the skin white. If rubbed across the fingernails it is almost as effective as manicure scissors in keep ing down hang nails. mm Low Rates to Duluth. Via St. Paul & ""-"Duluth railroad. Tickets on sale Dec. 24, 25, 31 and Jan. 1. Good to return to and including Jan. 2, 1596. 7 j mm -.•-.-■".' A Typical "Patriot." .-.---.; vi Faribault Democrat. .-.' 77' Capt. A. H. Reed, of Glencoe, at the solicitation of the Minnesota congres sional delegation, has been appointed superintendent of the house folding room, proving conclusively, that his re tirement as a candidate for congress in 1891 was, as he stated, purely patriotic. ""quieted NERVES ' OF A MANUFACTURER AND A NEWSPAPER FOREMAN. ' Messrs. Brigg-s and Kemp Have a Short Story for Thousands! of Nervous* People to Heed. In referring to the efficacy of Dr. Charcot's Kola Nervine Tablets, Mr. M. E. Brlggs, the well-known shirt manufacturer, Fourth and Robert streets, St. Paul, said that he consid ered them an Invaluable specific for all nervous complications, and as for him self their use Is Indispensable. He had been nervous and irritable, with little inclination either to eat or sleep. After taking the Tablets for a few days he noticed a decided change for the better and he can now eat heartily and sleep like a top. The delightful expe rience was almost immediate. A FOREMAN FOUND RELIEF. Nowhere else, perhaps, is the strain upon the system so great as that un dergone by. the employes on a great morning newspaper. Mr. J. C. Kemp, the assistant fore man of the St. Paul Dally . Globe news room, has been constantly em* ployed at night work for over fifteen years, his arduous duties . being such as naturally to impair the delicate or ganism of the nervous system. A short time ago he was compelled to" seek re lief and upon the advice of a friend he commenced to take the Kola Nervine Tablets, the result being, as he ex pressed himself, that he "now feels like a new man and accords all honor to Kola Nervine Tablets." The proprietors absolutely guarantee Infallibly good results from one month's treatment. $1.00 per package (one month's treat ment); See Dr. Charcot's name on package. All druggists or sent direct. Kola booklet free. Eureka Chemical & Mfg., La Crosse, Wis-. [£^ THE BAGGAGE SMASHER. I BY W. L. ALDEN. The accommodation train from | Athensville had just drawn up at the, station, and a solitary passenger had alighted. I was standing beside the station master on the platform, near ly opposite the baggage car. Sud denly, from the door of the latter there shot a large.hair-covered trunk, which came toward me revolving on one, of its ends at a surprising rate of; speed. The station master seized me by the arm and dragged me out the way of the trunk, thus saving me from serious injury, for the trunk, continuing its career across the plat form, struck against a wooden col umn, and, bursting open, covered the platform in its vicinity with the miscellaneous property of its owner. -I' was about to express my indig nation when my companion 'ex claimed, with genuine enthusiasm: "Well, I never saw a trunk handled better, b'gosh! not even by old Joe Stryker, and he was reckoned the champion baggage smasher of the Northwest." "'-?.\\-7:' "You don't mean to say," said I, "that you approve of destroying peo ple's property, and endangering peo ple's lives, as that baggage master has just done?" • "I mean to say," replied my friend, "that I like- to see a man thorough about his business, whatever it is. If his business is baggage smashing, I like to see him smash it thoroughly. That's what I did myself when I was baggage master, and no man who knows this road will contradict me. Why, Stryker and me, we had a match for the championship one sum mer. The man was to win who smashed the largest percentage of trunks, not including, of course, valises or such small truck. Well," I smashed 23 per cent of all the trunks I handled during that time, and Stry ker he only, smashed 27 per cent. So you see he wasn't so very much ahead of me, after all." "It must take a good deal of ex perience to handle a heavy trunk in the way that fellow handled that trunk," said' I, looking at the wreck of the unknown traveler's personal property.- ;.- "• "It's all in the way you start a trunk a-going," was the reply. You can take a trunk that is so heavy that it strains you to lift up one end of it, but if you balance It on one corner and give it a quick, turn with your wrist, it will roll /along till it fetches up against something, as if It was shot out of a rifled cannon. Naturally, Wi.e.i a man has to handle fifty or a hundred or more heavy trunks in a day, he gets to take a pride in the way he does it. Why I remember a few years ago. when the women got into the way of carrying trunks six feet by four, and weighing six or eight hundred pounds, that a baggageroaster who did not smash fifteen per cent of them wasnt considered to be up to his work, and he'd soon find that the company t any further use for him." _-<- The train went on its way. The own er of the unfortunate . trunk gathered up his possessions, crammed them into their damaged receptacle and .climbed into the hotel omnibus without t a word of complaint;.- .-;>- ... .i „ .•.- _ :'. "I like that chap":; said the. station master. "He's an old traveler, .he-is". Now, if he. hadn't been used. to ; rail roads, he'd have-been cursing- the. com pany and talking about bringing ran ac tion against them. But. he. knows it ain't no, use. There has never been, a way found yet of getting ahead of a smart baggage master, though lots of men have tried to c"» it. If you just sit down and make yourself .comfortable, I'll tell you about a man. who did get the best of me for a little while when I was baggage master of the day ex press on this very road, and he was about the smartest traveler I ever ; met professionally. '". :; ... . '• • "This man's name -was Truefit— Truefit— and he was a commercial trav eler who carried a full line of samples with him, and carried' them in a mid dling big and heavy trunk. Well, he got tired of having his trunk busted open and his samples scattered on the platform two or three times a week and he swore he would get a trunk that 'no baggage master could smash. The boys along the road smiled con siderable when they heard of it, ■■ for they knew me pretty well and calcu lated that I would attend to any trunk that Cy could invent. . .-• "The first thing he tried was nat urally an iron trunk. A man always believes that an iron trunk is stronger than a wooden trunk until he tries it. When he does try it he finds that the heavier the trunk the harder it will bring up . against any obstacle, and the more eternally and everlastingly It will go to smash. Cy had a trunk built of . sheet iron, with heavy iron ribs, and it. weighed pretty near as much as one of these fire-proof safes. He calculated that I or any other bag gage master would find It too heavy to handle, and that if some one did manage to send It kiting across the platform it wouldn't come to any harm. The first trip he made with that trunk it came into my hands, Cy was to stop at Carthage Center, about fifty miles down the road, and, when he got on the platform, the first thing he saw was that trunk a-flylng down the whole length of it at about twice the speed of an ordinary trunk. It jumped off the end of the platform and fetched up against a big block of marble that was lying in the grass. The air was just full of samples, and shirts, and bot tles, hair brushes and such. The train men allowed that they had never seen such a complete smash since they had been railroading, and I consider it my self one of the best pieces of profes sional! work' I ever did. The way of it was this— l hove that trunk out of the baggage car the minute the car reached the end of the platform. The train was* a) long one and moving mid dling fast at the time, and it was this that gave the trunk its. magnificent start down the platform. , - •• • "Cv Truefit came along to where the splinters of the trunk were lying and •was so overcome with the sight that he just sat down on the marble block and remarked to himself in a kind of 'low and thoughtful voice, Well, 111 he d— -d!' I sang out to him as the ; train started on again, 'That there iron don't seem to work so very well after all!'- But Cy didn't say anything. He was thinking, and I don't mind say ing that he thought out a first-class scheme-that is, It would have been if it had only worked. •'.•:■-. . "I didn't see anything of Cy for a month, until one day, when my train stopped at West Tanglers, where C> lived, as I afterwards heard, I found a handsome coffin waiting to be put aboard the train. Nowadays . when a coffin is sent by freight or express it to always nailed up in a big Packing box, but in those days handsome coffins were a sort of a novelty" in the North west and folks that could afford to own one never thought of concealing it; in a packing box. to slide the coffin "I was preparing to slide the coffin Into my car, when a man with a big piece of crape on his hat comes up to me, and says to me: 2 'That's the re mains of my poor mother-in-law. I know you'll handle her careful for old acquaintance sake.' . Who should It be but Cy Truefit! I hadn't ever heard of his ever having had a. wife, but I never thought of doubting his word and I felt real sorry for him. Bo 1 says. , -I'm mighty sorry to hear it, Cy, you can depend on me to do my best in the way of handling the poor lady s re mains ' Cy he just dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief, and said: •Thank you, my* friend, and then went into the smoking car, leaving the coffin in " my co C help, thinking that Cy's "I couldn't help thinking that L> s mother-in-law must have been a good deal above Cy's weight In her lifetime, for her coffin weighed more than .any, other coffin I had ever handled. How ever, that. wasn't my concern. "I gave the old lady a nice, quiet corner In my car, and we carried he.. along, to New Berlinopclis, which, at that time was , a flourishing town, though it's about as dead now. as this identical town where we're sitting, i got one. of the brakemen to help •.--" lift the coffin and set It down gentl\ in tha baggage room of the station, an the thing was so heavy that 1 strained my back lifting it, and couldn't do jus tice to ordinary trunks for the next 'ortnlght. However, I thought I had showed proper respect to the dead, and when Cy thanked me and said that he and the remains would be going on to Garrison's bridge the next day, : and* hat he had only brought them down to New Berllnopolls to have a funeral service, the church in West Tanglers aelng closed for repairs In consequence of the minister's having eloped with one of the deacon's wives, I wished that 1 could go to the funeral myself md back Cy up. But my duties were imperative, and I said good-by to Cy..; hoping that he would take some other train than mine the next time he want ad to carry any deceased corpses with him. -*~ "They told me afterward that.Cy paid.the station master at New Berlin,-, opolis to let him keep the coffin locked up In the baggage room, for the night, ' with the privilege of keeping the key and going in from time to time to see if it were all right. I never met any body who went to the funeral at New Berllnopolls, but I did hear that Cy, in. spite of his grief, showed, his samples to all the business, men in the town and made some unusually good sales. "The next day when my train came along there was Cy on the platform with his coffin. He told me that the funeral had been a brilliant success, and that he was now going to take the remains down to Spartansville and set tle them comfortably in the cemetery there. I thought to myself that the man was running the funeral business into the ground, for one funeral is all that any one corpse Is entitled to, ac cording to my notion. However, I didn't wish to interrupt Cy's mourning by any remarks of my own, so I just called the brakeman, and we got the remains aboard the train. When we got through, dropping the coffin on one of my feet and one of the brakeman s hands, and everything was comfort able again, the brakeman said, 'If these hers remains is any relation of yours I wish for to say nothing, but if they ain't none of your family's 1 11 just re mark that whoever's in that coffin must have been filled up chock full of lead and served him right. _ I don t doubt that there have been fifty shot guns fired into that corpse, for it weighs four times what any healthy corpse ought to weigh.' You see the man's thumb was pretty well smashed," and in the circumstances he, couldn t have been expected to feel kindly toward the remains. "At Spartanville Cy. as I was told by the station master there, wanted to leave his mother-in-law in the baggage room for the night with free access to her but the station master wouldn t consent to it. So Cy had to take her to the hotel. A friend of mine who- hap pened to be in the hotel at the time told me all about It .and .he said he never saw a man so full of grief as lj seemed to be when he walked Into that hotel with six men carrying the coffin "After Cy had - registered his name "After Cv had registered his name he says to the clerk, 'I should like to have that coffin placed In my room for the night.' in it?' ... clerk.. ; . " 'What's in it?' asked the clerk. ■ " 'The remains of my beloved wife s mother,' said Cy, in a broken -sort of \°' C 'That settles it,' said the clerk. 'Sorry to disoblige you, but we cant allow no remains in no room in the. house. We'll put your good lady out in the woodshed, where she'll be perfectly comfortable, but this ain't no cemetery nor yet no undertaker's shop, ana we don't furnish accommodations inside the hotel for anybody's remains. -;-•-. ; 'But,' saysCy, 'she's all-right.. She was embalmed by the b?st embalmer in this section, and there's no earthly rea son why I shouldn't: have her in "my room. She'll give a deal less trouble: than most of the women you take in. i "'l've said ''my* say,' said the clerk." 'This is a hotel for live folks, -and not for remains. . If you don't like our rules all you have to do Is to leave. ■•■ ; "Cy stood reflecting for a minute, Arid then he leans over and whispers to -the clerk"; who burst out 'laughing. and said: 'Oh; very well! ' That altars the Case.' Considering the.; character of your remains, I don't mind letting them go Into your room.' And with 'that he calls half a dozen porters,' and they carry Cy's niother-fri-law up three pairs of stairs, and pretty hard work they must have found it. '" ' •-'■ ■• "The next' day but one my train got to Spartanville an hour and a half late. You see the accommodation train had gone off the track just below Spartans ville through getting mixed up with a pair of oxen and a load of hay -that was trying to cross the track ahead of it, so we had to lay up till -the track was clear. A little while before we were ready to start I saw Cy Truefit come on to the platform with his coffin following behind him on a truck. He seemed a little astonished to see me, and I didn't mind letting him see that I was astonished to find that he hadn't buried that coffin yet " 'What dices all this mean, Cy?' says I; 'ain't you never going to get your remains comfortably underground?' " 'Couldn't bury her at Spartans ville,' said Cy. 'The cemetery was closed for repairs, so I'm taking her down to Smyrna, where I've made ar rangements to have the funeral tomor rom.' : . ''•':"■' " " 'I never heard cf closing a csmetery for repairs,' said I. 'What kind of re pairs do you mean?' " 'Oh, whitewashing the tombstones, and mowing the grass, and such like,' says he. 'They won't be able to bury anybody in that cemetery for a week.' "Well, I concluded It wasn't any business of mine how they- managed the Spartansville cemetery, so I said no more, but the brakeman and I got the coffin into the baggage car and sat on it to rest, for it seemed heavier than ever. "'That fellow is playing a game on you,' said the brakeman. " 'How's that?' said I. " 'There ain't no corpse in that cof fin,' says the brakesman. 'It weighs three times what any corpse would weigh, unless it was Barnum's fat woman. Then again I see that chap laughing in his sleeve when you . and me were wrestling with that coffin. • If he was a mourner he wouldn't run the risk of being caught laughing in pub lic.' ■■-:•:• i 'V , ' "' " 'It is mighty curious how he keeps this coffin above ground,' says I. 'It's more than a week now since he started out to bury it, and he's been riding all over the line ever since.' " 'Where's- he going to take what he calls "the remains" to now?' asked the man. ! " 'Down to Smyrna,' says I. * • • " 'There's a pretty long platform there,' said the brakeman, 'and if you and I were to give that coffin a twist just as the train strikes the platform, "we'd probably find out what's In it.' " 'That wouldn't be showing fitting respect for the dead,' says I. 'That is, •If there really Is a dead woman in the coffin.' - ,_..■. ' - " " 'Dead woman be. hanged! says he. 'Does Truefit pretend that she's em balmed?' ..*-.=• - * . . " 'So he says, says I. " 'Well, then, gimme a screwdriver, and we'll know the truth about this yer affair Inside of two minutes, says the brakeman. . "He went out and borrowed a screw driver from the engineer and went to -work to unscrew the coffin lid. There wasn't as much remains in that coffin as there generally is of a man that blown up with dynamite. It was 'chock full, as far as we could see, of ); silks and all sorts of goods such as Cy. was in the habit of traveling with. We ■ couldn't quite understand how the i thing came to weigh as it did till we had partly unpacked It, and then we ■ .found that there were several hundred veight of lead pigs fastened In the bot tom of the coffin. This hurt my feel ing** for I saw at once that Cy had put the lead there just to make trouble for me or any other baggage master." 'What do you say now? says the e Say!' said I. 'Why, that I'll smash that coffin when we get to Smyr na so that Cv Truefit won't find a piece of it big enough for a toothpick. ••'And I'll help you,', says the man. We'll just get her up on end, and when we get ' to the platform we'll tip her out and set her going. 51 only wish we could manage so as to let her bring up against Cy's legs, but we can't have everything here to- please us. "Before we got to Smyrna every thing was ready. We loosened the screws cf the coffin all around so that she would 'go to- pieces all the more „By, and I greased the biggest end of ho" *o fiat she'd slide her level best. i-Then the'braktman-and I got her on I end close to the open dOor, and when ----- r p-,r.*3ed the platform and the train i *var :• 111 gel g a. good fifteen miles an "-HtMir we laurchcO. her. - • ... L j. "Vr-* cr.-v-'il have seen that coffin ' v-K.ltKlrg*; down . the platform right through the middle of the gang of Dutch emigrants, and laying them out right and left. She went pretty near the whole length of the platform be fore she lost her rotary motion, and when she did lose It she Just settled down for a good slide on her greased end. There was a big elm tree close to the end of the platform, and the cof fin hit It good and square and went into a million pieces, filling the air with Cy's samples. The emigrants that hadn't been hit went for those samples, and before Cy could 1 get out of the train everything small enough to be shoved under an emigrant's coat had disap peared. " 'Sorry that your poor mother-in law has met with this accident,' says I to Cy. 'But transporting means on the railroad is mighty uncertain business. I've thought all along that you'd bet ter have burled her whore she died in stead of carting her all over creation.' "Cy looked at me, and then at his samples, such as were left, and then ad me again, and made up his mind to take it smiling. 'Well,' says he, 'I had the best of you while the game lasted. It was worth the whole cargo to see the careful way you handled that there .coffin. . Why, man, I never had no mother-in-law, nor yet a wife— is, since I left the East.' : "It wasi a middling smart game, and I'll allow that it took me in. But in the nature of things it couldn't last, and I calculate that it cost Cy in the end considerable more than It. was worth. We remembered him on the road : after that, and the accidents that kept a-happenlng to his trunks would have, discouraged pretty near any other man."— Mall Magazine. A Great Convenience. The Ashland Sleeping Car run by the Wisconsin Central Line every night leaves St. Paul 7:40 p. m., arriving at Ashland, 7:55 a. m. City Ticket Office, 373 Robert street. —_ He Doesn't Know Thomas. Boston Herald. . A close friend of Speaker Reed is quoted as saying that, if the speaker doesn't get the nomination for the presidency this time, it is his purpose to retire from politics, move to New York city, and take up the practice of law. We rather think this close friend has mistaken his man. The chances are that Mr. Reed will retire from politics about the time that the ducks conclude to stop swimming. Santa Clans. Any one desiring a visit, address be fore 3 p. m., Dec. 24, for particulars to: Conger Bros., Selby avenue and Mackubln street. :---•'. -7 Conger Bros., Selby avenue and St. Albans street. Rietzke, Western and Selby. F. B. Doran, Fourth and Market streets. Boundary Virginia avenue to Victo ria street. <£ I j Iglehart street to Goodrich avenue. "For Pipes and Cigars •> Go to Adam Fetsch's, Fifth and Rob ert, for Christmas presents. Smokers' Presents. For Cigars, Meerschaum and Fancy Briar Pipes, Cigar Cases, Match Safes, go to Adam Fetsch's, Fifth and Rob ert. The Finest Display In the City. Adam Fetsch, Fifth and Robert, has the largest • assortment of Pipes and Cigars for holiday presents. Smokers' Presents. 'For Cigars, Meerschaum and Fancy Briar Pipes, Cigar Cases, Match Safes, go to Adam Fetsch's, Fifth and Rob ert. • - '77777 i.'.'r 'r '""•'._! For Pipes and Cigars Go to Adam Fetsch's, Fifth and Rob ert, for Christmas presents. *.;.' .-.'/. : The Finest Display in the City. i Adam Fetsch, Fifth and Roert, has the largest assortment of Pipes and Cigars for holiday presents. DIED. ELLIER— In St. Paul, at the hospital, : Mrs. Minnie 'Eiler. Funeral from family residence, 19 West Fairfield avenue, on Tuesday, Dec. 24, at 2 p. m. Members of Five Points Yodge No. 357, Order of the World :- ; also mem-, bers of Eastern Star. Rebecca Lodge : No. 82 are requested to attend. . FOR FUNERALS— Carriages, $2 and hearse $3. Seven Corners Livery. Telephone call, No. 339.. ANNOUNCEMENTS. __ TO MY CUSTOMERS AND THE PUB 11c—I have had my dairy herd of 30 milch cows tested by the tuberculin test for tubercle by Dr. White, veter inary surgeon, of St. Paul, and the test showed my cowr/ to be sound and right. I can now furnish my custom ers with milk of as pure and whole some quality as Pasteurized milk, if not better. P. J. Keough, Hamline Avenue Dairy. . ■ QUINBY & ABBOTT HAVE RE moved their undertaking j rooms to No. 322 Wabasha street, -between Third and Fourth streets. . : FROM NOW UNTIL" APRIL IST I will make prices on all kinds of livery to suit customers." E. W. Shirk, Sev en Corners Livery. Telephone, 339. NOTICE— THE NEW INTEREST period of The State Savings Bank, ■ Germania Life Insurance Building, : Fourth and Minnesota sts.. begins : Jan. 1, lS9fi. All deposits made on or . before Jan. 3. 1896, will be entitled to ; six months' interest July 1, 1896. De posits received from $1 and upward. ■ Depositors entitled to Interest under section 34, of the by-laws for period ending Jan. 1, 1896, will please present their pass books at the bank for entry on or after Jan. 20, 1896. Jul. ■ M. Goldsmith', Treasurer. -■--■ AMUSEMENTS. Metropolitan. 1.. N. SCOTT. MAVAGEB. to 7 THE AMERICAN Seats EXTRAVAGANZA CO. Now _, _ For • , i S"Slflp9o "*£-"- Undoubted Triumph — ■ — — — of the Greatest Pan- AEI tomimic Spectacle «_- _■■s Ever Seen Here. E_TH .'""-'_ 50, — __ _ 7 EVERYBODY DELIGHTED TOG WITH THE $*■ New Specialties Uenry M-Vltts^n.' THE RAJAH ffiORAND m DEVIL'S AUCTION. New Year's Week— '"A Yeuuine Yentleman" niini Machinists and Designers. Brass Founders and Finishers, Electro Plating, Manufacturers of Electric Ilcuting and i.nsoline Lighting Specialties. Office, and Works, . FOOT OF MINNESOTA STREET Telephone 1073. '■ St. -*"•»■"-■ ttluu i-*7.'J: OF- THE PRINCIPAL BUSINESS HOUSES •)..; ■...* OF ST. PAUL, The following" is published daily for the benefit of traveling sales men, strangers and the public generally. It includes all trades and professions, and cannot fail to prove of interest to all who intend transacting business in St. Paul. AMUSEMENTS. Metropolitan, Sixth, near Robert st Grand, Sixth and St. Peter streets. Straka's Tivoli, Bridge square. Concert evenings and Sunday matinee. ■ Ad mission free. ' 7c\-' : ' Bodega, 148 East Sixth street Olympic, 174-178 East Seventh street. AUCTIONEERS. Kavanagh & Johnson, 22-24 E. 7th st ACCOUNTANTS. Wm. Waugh, 215 N. Y. Life Building. BAKERIES. Thauwald Bros., 353-355 W. Seventh st. Horeis Bros., 463 and 1165 West Seventh street, 15 East Seventh street and 383 West University avenue. ; BIRDS AND SEEDS. German Bird and Seed Store, 451 Wa- , basha street. " BOOKS, NEW, RARE AND STAND- j ARD. E. w. Porter Company, 100 East Fourth street. . BUILDERS' ARDAVARE AND GILT EDGE CUTLERY. Schroeder Bros., 902 'Payne ay. BOOTS AND SHOES. Elmqulst Shoe Store. 229 E. Seventh st. BUTTER AND EGGS. Wisconsin Dairy. 513 St. Peter street. Tel. 821. Milton Dairy Company, 772 Wabasha at Tel. 281. CARPET CLEANING. Schroeder & Dickinson, 16 E. 6th st. J CLOAKS. Ransom & Horton, 99-101 East Sixth. COMMISSION MERCHANTS. Wm. Miller & Co., 263 West Seventh st. McGulre & Mulrooney, 280 E. Sixth st R. E. Cobb, 294-298 East Sixth street. C. C. Emerson, 251-255 East Sixth st Geo. Timet. 24 West Third street. E. McNamee & Co., 249 East Sixth st Schierman & Co., 318 Robert street De Camp & Beyer, 129 East Third st F. L. Parshall, 18 West Third street. H. C. Hemenway & Co., coiner Third and Minnesota streets. Dore & Redpath. 70 East Third street Knauft Grain and Produce Company, 338 East Seventh street. Tel. 574. CATERER. ~ v .7 r J. D. Ramaley, 403 St Peter street. COAL AND WOOD. ';■ ' Casey & Norrls, cor. 7th and Wll'ls sts. S Brand, corner ■ Wabasha and Park avenue. , Tel. 1033. ' O G. Wilson, corner Bth and Broadway. Independent Coal Co., 156 East 3d st. . CONFECTIONERS. Horejs Bros., 463 and 1165 West Seventh street, 15 East Seventh street and 383 West University avenue. . . CLOTHING. A. Peterson & Co., 231 E. Seventh st. • European Clothing Co.. 282 E. 7th st. CUT FLO AVERS. E. P. Holmes & Co., 336 St. Peter, i near Fourth Street CUT-RATE TICKETS. George W. Frey, 382 Robert street. Corbett's. 169 East Third st. Edwards, 173 Third st., 339 Robert st. COMPOUNDERS OF DR. PAS TEUR'S CATARRH RE3IEDY. The Stella Drug Co.. 440 Wabasha. DRUG STORES. George J. Mitsch & Co., Coiner Sev enth and St. Peter streets. ; DYE AA'ORKS. New York Steam Dye Works, 16 West Sixth street. -_ . EMPLOYMENT OFFICE. E. L. Larpenter, 51 West Exchange st. EXPRESS, PIANO MOVING, PACK ING AND STORAGE. J. B. Desforges, 154 E. 6th. Tel. 550. " . EXPRESS AND STORAGE. Kent's Express and Storage Company, 211 W. Seventh st. Cheapest and best. ELECTRICIANS. John Gorman, 315 Mliinesota^street^ FOR FUNERALS. Carriages, $2; hearses, $3. Seven Cor ners' Livery, tel. 339. . " ■ FURS. Ransom & Horton, 99-101 East Sixth. Merrell Ryder, 339 Jackson st. FURNITURE AND UPHOLSTERING, J W. McDonell, 277 West Third street. Schroeder & Dickinson. 16 E. Sixth st FLOUR AND FEED. H R Sheire, 505 Robert, tel. 531. Tlernev & Co., 91 East Third st. Capitol Flour Co.. 21 East Third street FLORISTS. Henry Krlnke. 511 St. Peter street. GROCERS. John Wagener, corner Twelltn ana Robert sts., and 456-4 SB E. <tn st Jno A Bloiii. 378 East Seventh street GREEN VEGETABLES. M. Lavansky, 34 West Third st. ~~ Tubbeslng Bros., 100 East Third street ISWPROVEBWEWT THEORDER OF THE AGE Our Three New Models, mffi-* HANDSOME, /lflf^^|^_^i^^lSL^ EASY RUNNING, A^ Mfc, RAPID AMD SILENT. ■^^^^^jr^ me smith premier . -Typavn ler co ~^ 'PHONE^-i-^^ 130 E. Sixth St., St. I'-il. Minn • • • TRY THE • • • GLOBE WANTS GUNS, SKATES AND SPORTING GOODS. M. F. Kennedy & Bros., Third and Rob ert. HARDAVAHE, STOVES AND Fin. BACKS. P. C. Justus, 312-314 Rice. Tel. 1,069. HARDAVARE. J. H. Hayes, 423 West Seventh street.' HOTELS. Grand Central, cor. 7th and Wabasha. HAIRDRESSING AND DRESSMAK ING. | Mrs. B. Taylor, 156 East Sixth street | INSURANCE AND STEAMSHIP; | AGENTS. [ J. S. Grode & Co., corner Seventh and St. Peter streets. JEWELERS. Henry Bockstruck, 11 E. Seventh st. O. H. Arosin. 187 East Seventh street Simon Nelson, 189 East Seventh street Henry Jacke, 203 East Seventh street M. Albrecht, 225 East Seventh street LOANS ON AA'ATCHES, DIAMONDS, FURS, ETC. I Ly tic's Loan Office. 411 Robert, Room 1. LAUNDRIES. The Elk. 51 West Third; tel. 268. Merrill's, 407-409 Rice St. Telephone 747. MEAT MARKET. R. Spangenberg, Rice and Carroll. L. Elsenmenger Meat Co., 155 Wabasha. MERCHANT TAILORS. Hagstrum Bros., Arcade Building, 363 St. Peter street. A. Peterson & Co.. 231 E. Seventh st Jos. Petzenka, 152 West Seventh street W. L. McGrath & Co.. 160 E. Third st MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS. A. Peterson, 418 East Seventh street. MANUFACTURERS AND DEALERS IN DYNAMOES, MOTORS AND ELECTRICAL APPARATUS. : Northwestern Electric Co.. 412 Sibley st John Gorman, 315 Minnesota st. XEAVS AND STATIONERY. Harry Pomeroy, 468 Wabasha street j Charles L. Neumann, 324 W. Seventh st OLD, NEW AND SCHOOL BOOKS. G. Dunn & Co., 22 West Sixth street._ PATENT MEDICINE MFCS.- -);': P. Q. Medicine Co., 463 Temperance st i PICTURE FRAMES. j Lowe Picture Frame Co.. 591 Wabasha. j PLUMBING, STEAM AND HOT WATER HEATING. j McQuillan Bros., 183 Western ay. ' PLUMBERS AND GASFIT/TERS. .... Geo. H. Kees, 473 Broadway. . John H. Shea, 128 Eighth street C. A. Webber. 253 West Third street PLUMBING, HARD ARE AND HEATING. ' McDonougn & Bowers, 747-749 Wabasha street. Tel. 572. - PORTRAIT ARTISTS. N. A. Forseen. 679 Wabasha street RESTAURANTS. Ed L. Murphy, cor. St. Peter & 10th stsT ROLLING SHELF LADDERS. ' G. A. Mllbrant & Co., 148 E. Eighth at STORAGE. The People's Storage Co., corner Ninth and Wabasha. Tel. 102 S. SECOND-HAND HOUSEHOLD GOODS BOUGHT. People's Furniture Co.. 165 W. 7th st. SHEET METAL WORKERS, I STOVES AND HARDWARE. Karst & Breher, IS3 West Third st. TAXIDERMIST. • C. J. Gunston, 269 West Seventh street. TIN AND SHEET IRON JOB AA'ORK. Schroeder Bros.. 902 Payne ay. UNDERTAKERS. Thaung & Jacobson, 323 E. Seventh st ] Thee Bunker, cor. W. 7th and 6th sts. 1 I AA'ILLOAV AND RATTAN AA'ORKS. I Twin City Willow and Rattan Works, . 273 West Seventh street. WESTERN LANDS. ■ E. H. Hobe, 204 East Seventh street. ~ AA'HOLESSALB CONFECTIONERS. McFadden-Mullen Co.. 101 E. Fifth st. AA'HOLESALE GUM MFGS. Standard Gum Company, 461 Temper ance st. ' AVIIOLESALEAA'INESAXD LIQUORS : B. Simon. 237-299 East Seventh street. ' AA'IND MILLS. * . Gran Bros.. 477 East Seventh street.