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The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, May 25, 1902, Image 4

Image and text provided by Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn90059523/1902-05-25/ed-1/seq-4/

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Che gt.&m*i gUcrtyg
■* ——
Entered at Postofflce at St Paul, Minn.,
as Secoi.d-Class Matter.
Northwestern— ; , '" . ■
.Business—lo6s Main. Editorial— Main.
Composing Room— Main.
Mississippi Valley-
Business—loCs. Editorial—7B.
* By Carrier. | 1 moTTmoa | 12 mos
Daily only I .40 $2.26 $4.00
Daily and Sunday.! .60 2.76 6.00
Sunday I .15 .76 1.00
By Mail | 1 mo | 6 mos I 12 moa
Daily only { .25 $1.50 $3.00
Daily aid Sunday.! .35 2.00 4.00
Bunday I ... .76 - 1.00
New York. 10 Spruce St., Chas. H. Eddy
In Charge. *
Chicago, No. 87 Washington St. The F.
S W abb Company in Charge.
Minnesota—Generally fair Sunday and
Holiday; variable winds.
lowa Generally fair Sunday and Mon
day; variable winds.
Upper Michigan — Showers Sunday;
Monday fair; variable winds.
Wisconsin — Showers Sunday in east;
fair in west portion; variable winds;
Monday fair.
North Dakota—Generally fair Sunday
find Monday.
South Dakota—Generally fair Sunday
and Monday.
Montana — Generally fair Sunday and
Monday. V
St. laul — Yesterday's observations,
taken by the United State's weather bu
reau, St. Paul, P. P. Lyons, observer, for
the twenty-four hours' ended at 7 o'clock
last night—Barometer corrected for tom
perature and elevation: Highest temper
ature, 75; lowest temperature, 56; average
temperature, CC; daily range, 19; barome
ter, 29.78; humidity. 82; precipitation, .19;
7 p. m., temperature, 62; 7 p. m., wind,
southwest; weather, cloudy.
Yesterday's Temperatures—
' *pmlligli *pmHlgh
Alpena 62 781 Kansas City .82 86
Bismarck ....58 70 Milwaukee ...56 70
Buffalo 56 CC Marquette ...54 58
Boston 74 87 Minnedosa ...62 62
Calgary 4G 54 Montreal 62 76
Cheyenne ....C5 70 Nashville ....84 92
Chicago .. ...68 70 New York ...78 82
Cincinnati ...6S 86 Norfolk 72 88
Cleveland ....70 74 North Platte.72 . 82
Davenport ...74 80 Omaha 82 86
Detroit 72 76 Philadelphia .78 82
Duluth 42 4H! Pittsburgr ....75 82
►{Edmonton ...48 43 Qu'Appelle ...48 66
.Grand Haven.66 70JSt. Louis ....78 82
Green Bay ..62 76 Salt Lake ....70 74
Helena :.60 62 Ste. Marie ...50 72
Huron 66 7(i Washington .72 86
Jacksonville .76 Winnipeg ....66 62
•Washington time (7 p. m. St. Paul).
• River Bulletin—
Danger Gauge Change in
Stations. Line. Reading. 24 Hours.
St. Paul 14 6.9 »1.3
Davenport 15 9.2 *0.6
•La Crosse 10 7.3 —0.4
St. Louis 30 12.0 *0.4
•Rise. -Fall.
I River forecast till S p. m. Sunday: The
[Mississippi will continue rising gradually
In the vicinity of St. Paul.
Anyone unable to secure a
copy of The Globe on any
railroad train leaving: or en
terlng St. Paul will confer a
favor on the management by
reporting the fact to the bus*
lues* office. Telephone, Main
Subscribers annoyed by ir
regular or late delivery of
The Globe will confer * fa
vor on the management by re
porting: the fact to the business
office. Telephone, Main 1065.
SUNDAY, MAY 25, 1902.
! That was a notable instance of brother
ly affection in Chicago, when one Mr.
Kirk comes to the front and confesses
himself involved with a woman in order
to save his brother, who is accused by
ifclio latter's husband.
k The action of the president in revok
ing the executive order which placed the
yvar department in charge of Lieut. Gen.
lilies and Adjt. Gen. Corbin in turn
In the absence of the secretary and as
sistant secretary of war is naturally
Regarded by the public as another t>low
aimed at the official standing and influ
ence of the commanding officer of the
lAmerical army.
\ There is no claim put forward at this
time that the revocation of the existing
torder ;s demanded by prevailing condi
tions. The lieutenant general has ap
parently been subjected to another act
Of discourtesy, if not of censure, by his
Superior officer. It is remarkable that
any soldier, even were his sense of def
erence to superior authority more mark
ed than that which is credited to Gen.
JUiles, should submit to the successive
Indignities which have been placed upon
that officer.
i Beginning with the Spanish war ev
ery act of the war department has been
hostile to Miles. He was ignored in the
itfuban campaign. He was practically
Censured in connection with the embalm
«£ beef scandals. He was repudiated
at the outset of the Philippine campaign.
He was subsequently cast aside con
temptuously in his suggestions of a way
to bring about peace in the archipelago.
He was expressly and offensively cen
isured in connection with the Sampson-
Schley controversy. He was again cen
sured in connection with his testimony
before the senate committee on the army
reorganization bill, and he 1b now di
ivested of the only vestige of positive
executive authority which he possessed.
Everything has been done that could
be done to force Gen. Miles from the
head of the army short of his compul
teory retirement. That action would un
doubtedly have been taken were tha
legal period of his retirement not so near
felt hand.
Vi lmtevcr may be said with reference
to Gen. Miles' personal peculiarities, no
tone has yet impeached his courage or
.his ability as a soldier. He came up
[irem the ranks. He has earned every
'tetnpe of his promotion. There is not
tone discreditable incident in his entire
»ct:ve military career so far as the mib
;iic Icima-s. It may have been his fault,
It ctrtainly is his misfortune, that at
no time since his elevation to his pres
ent position has Gan. Miles seemed to
enjoy the confidence of his superior of
ficers. He was right in the embalmed
beef scandal, and to his initiative is it
due that the responsibility for the evils
then exposed was placed upon the war
department. The Globe believes that
he was right in his position on the army
reorganization bill and again on his over
tures looking toward the establishment
of peace in the Philippines and on the
Sampson-Schley controversy. He was
wrong, and he is wrong, and no self-re
specting soldier ot civilian will sustain
him, in his silent acceptance of the re
peated indignities heaped upon him.
When he was divested of all active par
ticipation in the Spanish war and the
determin ;d marplot, Corbin, given
full swing, he yielded his pers^R.l self
respect by his acquiescence.
The political opponents of the national
administration might naturally be ex
pected to take sides with Miles. They
have done so wherever he was right.
While political considerations have un
doubtedly underlaid most of the ill treat
ment he has received, neither his politi
cal nor his personal partisans have shown
any disposition to sustain him in his
acceptance of the indignities done him.
Gen. Miles' career has been an honorable
and a useful one to the country as a
soldier. His essays in the field of poli
tics, whersver he has shown a disposi
tion to indulge in them, have not been
attended with success. Wether the justi
fication of the rational executive and
the war department has been greater or
less in the attitude they have assumed
toward Lieut. Gen. Miles at any time,
the judgment of his friends and the
country alike is that in view of the
treatment he has received his duty to
both demanded that he should have vol
untarily retired from his present rank.
His retention of It can be productive of
no good results, and he still has it in
his power to restore himself in the good
opinion of his countrymen by voluntarily
retiring from the nominal headship of
the army of the United States.
That other Republican reformer in the
sister city, Mr. Megaarden, no doubt,
feels regret that he did not have the
example of the doctor before him some
time ago.
The death of IJord Pauncefote, the
British ambassador, will be learned with
deep regret by the official world at Wash
ington, as well as by the British people.
He represented his government with
great ability, and was one of its fore
most statesmen and diplomats. Since the
compulsory withdrawal of his predeces
sor, he continued, at least until a short
time before his death, to represent his
nation with the utmost acceptability to
the American people. His position among
the representatives of the various na
tions at Washington was one of com
manding influence by reason of his
seniority, his recognized great ability and
experience, and his engaging personal
The call of death found the British am
bassador an old man, whose period of
active usefulness would in any event be
soon brought to a close. His health was
delicate for some time, and the unfor
tunate Incident connected with the Span-
ish-American war is believed generally
to have hastened his end. That incident
brought on the deceased gentleman much
criticism, whether well or ill merited. It
did not appear, however, to have ren
dered his official position any less secure;
.and nothing short of his death, and, per
haps, not even that, will suffice to en
able the world to judge finally the real
character and motive of the act which
apparently placed: him and his govern
ment in an unfriendly attitude toward
the United States in the situation created
by Spain in Cuba.
The Globe felt called on, in com
mon with many other American newspa
pers, to express the conviction that on
the known facts Lord Pauncefote de
served to be recalled, as was his prede
cessor, in consequence of his avowed
presentation of a proposed note to the
representatives of the other powers de
claring that our military interference
in Cuban affairs would be regarded un
favorably by European nations. He may
have acted on that occasion by the im
mediate direction of his superiors, or he
may have acted in a spirit of accommo
dation, wholly undiplomatic, toward the
representative of another power, as his
friends and apologists have urged. What
ever the fact, the consequences of his of
ficial act placed both him and his govern
ment in a very unfortunate position. The
publicity given to that act was the re
sult of the attempted impeachment of the
good will of Germany by a number of
British editors and politicians.
Whether or not the facts relative to the
incident are made known as the result
of Lord Pauncefote's death, or other
wise, neither the American people, nor
their representatives at Washington, W UI
deny to the deceased statesman the full
est recognition of his great abilities.
England certainly suffers a great loss in
its public life through the death of its
ambassador at Washington.
It is related that the closing hours of
the club ladles' convention at Sleepy Ey«
was devoted to business. Rather a queer
place for folks to meet who have an eye
exclusively for business.
By decree of Judge C. C. Kohlsaat,
brother of Baker H. H. Konlsaat, Sam
uel Eberly Gross, dealer in Chicago real
estate, is a greater poet tlran Edmond
Rostand, alleged author of "Cyrano de
Bergerac." The Chicago jurist gives
Mr. Rostand a rude awakening by telling
him in legal verbiage that away back
in 1875 Mr. Gross really wrote "Cyrano
de Bergerac," under the name of "The
Merchant Prince of Cornville," and that,
moreover, he must pay Mr. Gross $1
This verdict carries with it a plain in
dorsement of many serious charges in
the complaint. Mr. Rostand is branded
as a thief, for Mr. Gross, unmindful of
the sensitive nature of the French man-
ufacturer of; verse, says Ke "borrowed,
pilfered and otherwise appropriated
scenes, Ideas, Incidents and even lan
guage from 'The Merchant Prince of
Cornville.' " Mr. Gross then sticks pins
In Mr. Rostand's reputation by particu
larizing. He asserts, and is backed up
by the learned judge, that in each play
the heroine has a maid who seconds her
in her love affairs; that in each the hero
makes love so badly that he is rebuked
for his stupidity, that in each there is
a proxy who appears in black, that in
each musical instruments are introduced
at the opening of the balcony scene, that
in each balcony scene the proxy lover
chants or declaims In a feigned voice a
mass of fantastic matter, and that In
each the balcony scene is the pivotal one
of the whole play.
Thus it is that Mr. Gross and a federal
judge lift Mr. Rostand from his pedestal
and consign him to the literary garret
of oblivion. In future, at least in Chi
cago, the great poets will be ranked about
as follows: Gross, Shakespeare, Goethe,
Schiller, Byron, Shelley and Tennyson.
When poets' and real estate men get Into
the courts the poets usually lose.
Now that Mary Yellen has secured her
freedom, what a splendid team she might
form if she united forces with that other
charming Kansas divorcee—the lady of
the hatchet, ; iV,^ n 7;-^ n i i : i ;..
here shall Minneapolis be catalogued
morally in the list of American cities?
Easy as it looks, this is really a prob
lem of extraordinary size. The Flour
City is full of New Englanders who take
pride In referring to the municipality as
clean, healthy, upright. But {here are
others in Minneapolis who refuse to see
the town by that light. They point—
not with pride, either—to the police de
partment, charged with seeing that the
laws are obeyed, which is just now un
der the cloud of alleged Bribe-taking,
and urge that where there is so much
smoke there must be at least a little fire.
They are not slow in saying, too. that
the town is "wide open" in the fullest
sense. Every kind of gambling known
to Monte Carlo and Butte, Mont., is go
ing on day and night, the wine rooms are
as busy as were those of North Clark
street, Chicago, before the wave of re
form struck the Windy City, and some
thing very closely approaching a carni
val of crime is going on right, left and
center, increasing daily, after the setting
of the sun.
And yet Minneapolis means well. Prob
ably a majority of its citizens believes in
right living and strict adherence to just
laws and ordinances. the very mo
ment the rest of the United States was
directing the finger of scorn toward the
Flour City, its municipal court solemnly
sentenced a poor fellow who has a hor
ror of falling water to the workhouse
for ninety days for stealing an umbrella.
Let every man, therefore, weigh his
words well before saying Minneapolis is
not good. In fact, putting the thing as
George Ade would put it, Minneapolis is
apparently so bad it is "good."
After all, there is great probability
that the Boer war will end before the
Philippine war ceases.
Every time we have a hot wave worthy
of the name that perennial subject, the
propriety of the men's shirt waist,
two steps over to the front of the stage
and demands a hearing. This year it
makes its first appearance in that famous
old census-stuffing town, Omaha. A band
of perspiring boys there turned up at
school one afternoon the past week
without coats or vests and the person
in charge held up its hands in horror
and refused to permit the innovation. It
is true that the weather was excessively
warm, that the youngsters were suffer
ing from the extra-caloric conditions and
scught only comfort in going into the
school room in their shirt sleeves. How
ever, the pedagogue in charge was shock
ed, and what matters it if children do
suffer? They must be garbed pretty
close to the conventional or go home to
their mothers.
This is only an instance of what we
shall hear all the summer long. The
shirt-waist man is a marked man. His
desire for comfort is not to be gratified.
He will be hissed and hooted until he
flies for his coat, perhaps his overcoat.
Almost melted with perspiration he will
throw off his coat and his vest and dart
into a restaurant for his noonday lunch.
Half a dozen women in the place will
coolly rise, make sneering remarks very
much above a whisper and leave the
place. The man will have a chill, push
aside his dinner and go away unhappy,
or, what is much more likely, he will be
visited by the fussy proprietor, who will
tell him he is driving away the custom of
the resort and must not again come into
it without his coat.
Admittedly the shirt waist is a come
ly-looking, exceedingly comfortable gar
ment, one which the women adopted
many years ago and have enjoyed ever
since. If anybody has a good, strong
objection to its use by the men let him
present it now. So far as The Globe
can see, if a shirt waist is clean and fits
well, it is proper for both sexes.
With anything like decent weather
there seems now no doubt that the
vaudeville performance at the Metro
politan next week—under the manage
ment of^the newspapermen of St. Paul,
in aid of the Coliseum fund will reach
the record mark. It should be remem
bered that this is a performance by the
best professionals on the stage, and not
an, amateur affair. There will not be a
dull minute after the curtain is up.
Fitzsimmons and Jeffries are matched
hard and fast for a mill for tne cham
plcnship. Soon there will appear frequent
explanations from each of the method
to be employed in "dknng" the other—
% but the public will be "done" the night
of the fight
The Tall Pine might have found a more
profitable, and' an equally honorable
cause, had he come over here and helped
to save another Republican reformer who
needed his assistance this year worse
even than did Brother Kiefer four years
Mary Ellen Lease has secured a
divorce. She recited in her bill of com-
plaint that s"he had provided for her
self nearly all the years of her married
life, first as washlady, and of late years
as a stateswoman.
That was a safe offer of Carnegie—to
give Uncle Sam 520,000,000 for the Philip
pines. That was the original purchase
price, and since then the United States
has expended not far from half a billion
all told, in the effort to enforce title.
The weather man evidently would be
safe in directing the newspapers to keep
the prediction in favor of "showers"
standing in print for some period to come.
A day's wages given now to the Coli
seum fund will result in employment for
months to come.
Butte's ball team has been cubbed the
"Mary Mac Lanes" and hasn't won a
game since.
Charity is not asked by the Cubans, but
reciprocity, or a fair exchange.
\4r unddet'Baths
"Louie," I set,
"Dit you effer
made any bath-
Jngs at der pub
lic baths, yes?
"Veil, I should
gay I dit," set
"Vy dit you
Psk me, iss id?"
"Dit you read
id in one uf der
morning papers
on Tuesday
frnorning- about
Jj^fc* 4|)^^l\
der "Vest Siders are Caustic," I set.
"Der Vest Side Improvement Assassina
tion society think they are de whole
Vest side. Id iss to laugh yen I read
aboud id. Dare vos anyhow aboud
twendy-fife members present und uf you
vill read der names uf der ringleaders
uf id you don't yonder dot der Sixth
yard vent Democratic uftd Bob Smith re
electioned mayor. A few uf them really
di<. haf der good sense to gif Dr. Ohage a
leedle credit for der enterprise. But
dare iss yon chentleman—no, I vill tage
id back—he iss nod a chentleman—his
first name iss "Desire." Dare iss no use
uf giving der last" name because der
furst name "Desire" explanations his
aim in this life, and nobody vants to hear
his last name. .(For this I vill apologize
to any yon vot varies der same name
as he does on der back end.)
'■Bud you should hear him in yon of
dose vild bursts uf orating vich rever
beration dc-msellufs until yon uf ocr bluffs
falls into der riffer, yen he Bklinches his
two hands togedder side by each und
runs dem through those magnificent
locks, he reminds you uf Shyloek de
manding 1 der pound uf flesh. Und dct
voice, Ach Louie, I vake me ub some
times in der middle uf der night time
yen dor torn cats are holding high revelry
on der vood shed, und I am not cer
tain uf id iss der cats or "Desire." in yon
uf dose frenzied outbursts uf a terrified
soul yen he shudders aboudt der bare
pessibiity of not being able to negotiate
a real estate deal und lose der thirty
pieces of silver fer which Judas betray
ed his Master. Yen effer he lifts ub his
voice in" such a mad melody und says,
"Vot do we care for Dr. Ohage imd hi 3
baths?'' then he is betraying der people
und children uf St. Paul for a paltry
thirty pieces uf silver. Und uf der paper
correctly reports id vare he says dot der
only people wlso visited der balhs are
drunkards und loafers, who contaminate
der children, den he deliberately lies to
further hees purpose to mag the thirty
pieces uf silver. Mr. "Desire" iss nod
a clientleman yen he says those things,
ur.d any free lib. rty-loving American cit
izen can read between der lines und see
vot a miserly, sordid, mercinary, un
sp'rited "Desire," vill do for thirty
pieces uf silver. Id ?ss too bad dot
dare vos not a phonograph in der room
to record der utterances of "Desire." I
foel d#t one uf de brightest, brilliant, und
soul-harrowing gems uf oratory effer ut
tered by human lips vos vasted on der
Improvement Assassination society, und
der vorld yen "Desire" pulled h:mselluf
togedder und mit yon mighty effort
exelamationed, 'Vot der residents uf dor
Vest side vant Iss Industries und not
parks.' He meant to add to it, 'Go und
see "Desire" before you dislocation your
industries, he needs der thirty pieces uf
silver,' bud he forgot aboudt id yen he
soared abofe der clouds in dot yon vild
exelamationing vich exceeded Mont Pe
lea in its awful grandeur. Louis, I ask
you, how sould you miss der show. Now,
I am a great friend uf der baths, und
having presented mem compliments to
'Desire,' vich he can take unde chump in
der lake mit dem, I vtll say a vord or
two more. lam nod so narrow minded
as not to see a benefit der pickle factory,
der can factory, and der onder industries
veil be fer der cty, bud ad der same time
led us be loyal und public spirited und
haf both der baths und der industries.
Life iss to short und death so uncer
tainly quick dot ye should not be given
to troubles vich only mage our lives
shorter. Yen ye are gone ye are so soon
forgotten, aind't it? Den led us follow
der golden rule und 'uf you can't be a
booster dont be a knocker.' Uf der
Omaha vants to build der spur track to
der pickle factory mage dem pay fer id.
Mage dem build a substantial approach
from der Wabasha street bridge to der
baths, und maintain a flagged crossing
vare id now is during der summer time.
Don ye can haf der industries, too, aindt
' Burlweiser," set Louis, "vot vould
'Desire' do if you offered him maybe
thirty-fife pieces uf silver, atnd't Id?"
' Vy," I set, "I belief he vould throw
down der Improvement assassination so
ciety alretty. Long Hf Dr. Ohsge und
der baths. May he and his work survivo
der pickle factory, der can factory, der
caustic few Vest side selling platers und
last bud not least, 'Desire.'.und his thirty
pieces uf silver."
"Budweiser," set Louie, "afder vot you
haf chust said to me, I could buy a
Vot happened afterwards, Here Voodgard
Kipling vould say, "Iss another story."
Per E. Weisentmrger.
Equal to tlie Senator Himself.
A tramp met Senator Chauncey Depew
and asked him, in that easy, velvet
tongued way:
"Would you kindly assist a , etc.
Chauncey, of course, is an easy mark,
and, as he fanned himself after extract
ing the quarter, the tramp inquired:
"And who may I say was so kind
"Oh. never mind. That's all right."
"But in after years, when I recall
those whoss tender hearts "
"Never mind, my good fellow."
"Then I cannot accept It, sir. I must
let my friends know "
"Well, tell 'em it was Grover Cleve
land, and let it go at that."
The tramp put the quarter back in his
pocket leisurely and shook his head.
"Now, my good fellow, may I ask your
"A gentleman in distress Is loath to
"Yes, but if I have your name I may
be able to help you."
"No, my pride will not permit."
"But allow me to know whom I have
had the pleasure of meeting in this happy
way?' --■>.--« v'
"Oh, well, tell 'em it was Chauncey
Depew, and let It so at that."
£r^i n(e3L fanned himself and let it re
—Mitchell Chappie in the National.
Properly Described.
Miss Mobile—Well, Martha, how is your
nr^hand now?
iviartha—Poly,, miss, poly. He's got
tnat exclamatory rheumatism
Miss Mobile—You mean inflammatory
cryTuflSm> Martha" Exclamatory is to
Martha (with solemn conviction—
That's it, mum. that's it! He don't do
nothing but holler.—Christian Register
Mangled in a
As we understand it President Roose
velt finds on close investigation much
more rubber in his spinal column than
he expected to find there.
Sampson Is dead, but Maclay's book
is still very much alive. Congress haa
refused to permit the third volume of
his history of the Spanish war to be used
at the naval academy at Annapolis.
It would serve Mont Pelee right if the
people of Martinique would move away
and let the volcano weep alone.
Those Red river valley farmers who
could not sow their wheat in time for
a crop because of the extreme dampness
do not roar like the Kansans and sit
down to wait for another year to roll
around. They proceed to raise some
thing else.
It is up to the South Carolina volcano,
Tillman, to outdo Mont Soufriere.
New York is mean to a finish. Its
police caught a Chicago man the other
day and sent him to Sing Sing.
Santoa-Dumont has concluded to con
tinue ballooning. He is going to get mar
Careful, now, Cuba; don't spill blood
on the spring flowers of the new-born
Mark Hanna's gout must be troubling
him. He hasn-'t informed any Wisconsin
and Vermont" "*£Tmers that he doesn't
want to be president for more than a
Guess It was only a bluff with Alfon
so. His maw is really running things
in Spain In the same old, good old way.
Put your horse's hat on straight. He's
too busy to ask questions.
Albany, N. V., has refused Andrew
Carnegie's offer of a library. Albany
always did prefer pitching horse shoes
to reading.
If Alfonso were a little older he would
probably follow his first oath with a
few others.
Well, let's form a don't worry club.
Just now the rise in the price of coal
doesn't affect many of us.
Of course you aye noticed the collab
oration of the thermometer and the
straw hat the past few days.
It frequently happens, you know, thai
the: versatile man cannot write verses.
Keep your winter underwear in a valise
no^r at han-3. You are liable to need It
at any minute.
But Count yon Banros, who married
Miss Josephine Holman. the young wom
an made famous by jilting Marconi, looks
like a hirsute "gold brick."
The meanest man has been discovered
again. Ho married a young woman
through a matrimonial "ad" and then
made fun of her in a novel.
The ice man finally gleefully marched
up to the place where he could make the
coal man look like 30 centa.
Copper the fish stories. They can't all
be true.
First pay your taxes. You can Hie your
candidacy for some office afterward if
you like.
Perhaps of all St. Paul commercial or
ganisations the Twin City Rapid Transit
company comes nearest to being a Chris
Cuba is in the midst of the strawberries
and cream course. Every true American
hopes she will never get beyond it.
Se^ral prominent Chicagoans are writ
ing books. James Leary, of Halstead
street, is writing his on the American
Even a beef trust can be a trifle too
William Jennings Bryan is busy sug
gesting Tennesseeans who would make
gcod Democratic candidates for presi
dent. Cute man. that Bryan!
Of course, you do not have to be told
that this Is the particular hour at which
to put the spring poem on ice.
The golf stick of 1902 should have been
so constructed as to be quickly con
•vertible Into an umbrella.
Grover Cleveland has purchased a vast
tract of oyster beds at Buzzard's bay.
Perhaps the ex-president is going to see
if he can be as mum as the oysters In
their little beds.
Those Manhattans seem to have been
pretty dry for Dr. Schadle.
The Guatemala town, Quezaltenang-o,
which was destroyed by an earthquake,
also had a big handicap in its name.
When do you consider it too wet to
play golf?— Gertrude B. Never.
It really begins to look as if President
Roosevelt does not like Gen. Miles.
Selby avenue, which for a number of
years -vas paved with good intentions,
looks well In a new suit of asphalt.
•John Alexander Dowie would fit the
part better if he would assume the title
of Elijah XIII.
John Lind, the next governor of Min
nesota, is rjmnincr easy pulled up. Van
Sant is coming under the whip, and he'll
be whipped to a finish.
Cuba would be free in fact if it could
get away from the sugar trust and the
tobacco trust.
Putting up tire price of coal now is
going to cause about 99 per cent of the
people to keep their money in their
pockets until October.
The first peaches of the season have
reached Chicago. This may or may not
double up the population of Chicago.
- It is up to Mont Polee to realize that
it went too far.
And yet nobody has heard the beef
say: "Don't shoot, I'll come down."
Some day everybody Is going to be
surprised toy seeing twenty-four hovrm;
roll round without a drop of rain.
That Plttsburg team might sava the
National lea-Tue by losing a few games.
Readied tlie Limit.
"She said he was inquisitive."
"Was he?"
"Well, he asked her the cost of her
"I should call that very "
"O, that's not what she objected to."
"Then he said: 'Are you engaged?'"
"By Jove! That was "
"She didn't object to that."
"Didn't object?"
"No. Then he asked her what size of
shoe she yore."
"Well, of all the "
"That didn't disturb her."
"What did, tiien?"
"He finally asked her if she would mind
telling him J»er age."
"Oh, I see."—Detroit Free Press.
Comfortable and Stylisb. In Thl«
The poor benighted Hindod,
He does the best he kindo:
He sticks to his caste from first to last,
And for pants ho makes his skindo.
—New Orleans Times-Democrat
People and Jhings
It is a very cold day when there isn't
something new~Tn Chicago. One of $he
latest innovations in that effete town ifl
a system of visiting nurses for tenements
and outlying districts. A perusal of the
rules would lead you to believe that if
there is anything you want that you
don't see, ask the visiting nurse for it.
She comes once a day or once a week
aa the case may be, "tidies" up for you,
supplier tcoth-brtishes and other sani
tary things that are used by the best
families on Michigan avenue, and tells
you what's what, likewise who's who.
One of the rules made for Dead Beat al
ley and surrounding districts is that
every male being over ten must carry a
handkerchief. If you don't happen to
own any ask the visiting nurse for one.
But if you should desire to know why
the age limit is ten, the answer will
probably be as relevant as when the
authorities here wanted to know why the
powers that be in the Philippines- gave
orders to kill every boy over ten. Be
cause he fights is the answer. So it is
with handkerchiefs. The visiting nurse
thinks she has come to the handkerchief
age. That's all. And when a man wants
to beat his wife in Chicago he must also
ask the visiting nurse.
Another innovation which Chicago is
adopting- is daylight meetings of Masonic
orders. This is in order that Chicago
men may not be taken away from their
dear vives in the evening. Well, now.
Isn't that real thoughtful? Either that
is the reason or Chicago men are be
ginning to be afraid of going out after
dark. Hitherto it has been the un
fortnnate visitor who crept to his hotel
early in the day, but the condition of the
windy city must be indeed alarming if
Its own citizens prefer daylight meet
ings. There must be something back of
this that we wot not of; could it be that
the reformation so long hoped for has at
last begun? Who knows but in a few
years from now Chicago may take the
banner offered by the Sunday School
Times for the city that contains the
latgt-st number of little boys who kn.uv
Where thoy are going after they die?
Perhaps—but oh, of course you can't tell.
A St. Paul clergyman who had lor.? de
sired an agreeable canine, bought i
the other day of a passing stranger. The
man said he would not have sold the dog
for the world, only he was going away
and could not possibly take him. So the
dog changed hands and was Immediately
tied in the rear of the rectory after the
saying of the dogsology by the said
clergyman. A f<*w days passed and Mr.
I>og was so amenable that at last he
was allowed to roam at will in the
grounds of the parsonage. Here there
came one day last week a Summit avenue
lady to call upon the pastor. With her
was her little girl and the nice dog
greeted them both with much affection.
They spoke of the resemblance the ar.l
mal bore to their "Jack," and when they
departed the clergyman's dog went also,
but without their knowledge. I-nter in
the rtay the coachman announced to the
Summit avenue lady that Jack had re
turned. And the clergyman was minus
his dog and also some part of his faith
in confiding strangers.
• • •
• The courts of Illinois are soon to de
cide a very important question: whether
a man who refuses to kiss his wife can
be arrested on a charge of abandonment.
This Is a delicate question and before
committing- itself we are sure that the
court will ask to see the wife. They way
to settle thia knotty problem Is to ask
the visiting nurse.
Women are slowly but surely coming
into their own. An instance of this was
a recent case in Massachusetts where a
United States judge fined a man $50 for
opening a letter directed to his wife.
How dared that man do such a thing!
Isn't he old enough to know that what
is his is hers, and what Is hers is her
own? If a woman goes through a man's
pockets and reads his letters, it is for
the greatest good of the greatest num
ber, but there can be no possiuie excuse
for the man who would open mail ad
dressed to his better half.
Mrs. Patrick Campbell and Pinky
Panky Poo have shaken the dust of these
shores from their feet and sailed for
England. Pinky Panky Poo is a small
dog, and one of Mrs. Pat's ways of be
ing gracious and kind to special friends
is by allowing them to hold Pinky. It
seems that It became necessary for the
famous actress to ot< t aln a permit from
the agricultural department before tak
ing the precious Pinky back to England.
Why the agricultural department, is not
stated; it may be that the powers that
be considered Pinky, owing to his bark,
Presbyterian Ministers Want Purl
tan Sunday anil Hebnke Some of
Their Own Members for Sabbath
nreakin^— Women's Meat Boycott
Growing Dully.
NEW YORK. May 24. - The largest
combination of photographic supply in
terests ever effected has just been con
summated by George Eastman, the
wealthy kodak manufacturer. The fac
tories involved are the largest In the
world, including tho Mamher, Seed and
Stanley plants, besides the big Eastman
dry plate works, at Kodak Park, :•»' ch
The photographic supply trust will
practically regulate the entire product of
dry plates in this country, not only at
the factories, but through control of the
supply houses. The latter control will
enable the combination to set the pnces.
The amount of canital represented by
ttle new trust is between JSo.OOO.O'X) and
140,000.0 0. George Eastman, who invent
ed the photographic dry plate, has spent
several years in bringing about thi3 com
Presbyterians Are Shocked.
Sunday golf playing, flying automobiles
and crowded street cars shocked many
of the members of the Presbyterian gen
eral assembly. At their meeting, in the
interest of Sabbath observance, at the.
Fifth Avenue church, the speakers de
manded a stricter Sunday, one that
woul-1 almost come up to the old Puri
tan standards.
Several heavy broadsides were deliver
ed against rich corporations. which
were blamed for keeping eniployes at
work on Sunday. One uncompromising
minister even criticised his brother mm.
istt-rs in the Assembly who committed
the offense of riding in trains, street cars
and ferryboats in order to preach at va
rious churches in this city and its vi
Want Protection From Boys.
Tired of being constantly hooted at and
made the target of repeated bombard
ments of decaying vegetable matter,
stones aj»d other projectiles, automobile
owners of the Bronx and Manhattan
have made an appeal to the board of
education to compel the school children
to cease annoying them. This is believed
to be the most effttctive way of reaching
the mischievous boys, for the abuse of
automobile occupants la declared to be
so general, especially In the Bronx, that
the arrest In a few isolated cases of the
miscreants would' not effect the reform
desired or mitigates the abuse.
All the prominent users oi" automobQei
in the city while traveling through the
Bronx are said to have experienced some
of the discomforts arising from the mis
chievousness of street urchins. The po
lice have had frequent complaints, but
except in a few cases they have accom
plished little.
Ilirtli Called to Chinese Chair.
Prof. PriearJoh Ilirth, who now holds
the chair of Chinese philology at W
some kind of a new tree. However, the
permit was obtained, but to his mistress'
lioTror, she discovered that dear little
Pinky would Rave to be consigned to the
butcher of the ship going over. She could
not keep back the tears, and no winder.
The nice little chops and tender sausage
that might be made from Pinky will be
a terrible temptation to a seafaring
butcher. We shall hold our breath until
the ship is safely on the other side with
no sickening tragedies reported.
The eruption of Peloe and the destruc
tion of Martinique is nothing compared
to the eruption of an evening paper and
the destruction of the English language
when the prize reporter writes a Btory at
only he can write it. His talents are
wasted about here; he should go to Chi
cago and write for the Dally Anarchist
His description of Dr. Schadle and Mi\
Smith was not only beautiful, but It wig
touching anu drew tears from the eyes of
their friends. It isn't so much what he
says, but it's his style that is so fe;
he is, in fact, a stylist. If he goes t
coronation, as he undobutedly will. Rich
ard Harding Davis and others woul ■'.
ter look to their laurels. Just think
what that prize reporter could say, and
without doubt would say, of the cos
tumes worn by royalty and Am
blue blood on that historic occasion! Our
loss in his absence will be the gain of
the literary world.
It is reported by the Associated Press
that a Boston clubwoman. Mrs. Cobleigh,
is about to plunge Into the wilds of Cen
tral Africa with a trunk full of ponges.
The ponges seem to be rather in.
upon in all the dispatches which
of this important matter. Just what the
wilds of Africa have done to Mrs
leigh that she should plunge into them
is not stated; nor is it quite cle.ir why
the fact that she is a clubwoman n^ikea
it necessary for her to plunge. But It
it be stated for the benefit of Ignorant
masculine readers that ponges are not
anything to eat, nor are they club weap
ons which /night be a protection against
brigands in thr> wilds, but pongo is a soft
silk material which is thm and comfort
able fur summer wear. It can now be
readily aeen by the discerning just why
Mrs. Cobleigb should have a trunkful of
ponges. Sho is determined- to be
during her plunge, and lust we who
at home should be worried as to Just
what she will wear she has had (he
forethought to have the Assoclai
announce to a waiting world that sh
well supplied wiih ponges. For tl
lief, much thanks.
The marriage license clerk in Chicago
recently received a heartbroken
from an erring bridegroom, whose :
made him confess his
ins that he swore to- being twenty
one when he was but twenty, and hla
sin haunts him. The clerk says he ia
v.illing to forgive him; it is to be I
that the biide will also. There is certain
ly some sort of a moral revolution gnl:ig
on in Chicago.
A young man in Indiana placed a pro
posal of marriage in a jar of butter, with
the strong hope that it would be u.=e,i by
some well bred girl.
T'nder the heading 'The Queer and Cu
rious" may be placed the action of a
soldier at one of our forts, who returned
a sum of money to his superior
the other day, with the statement thru he
had been overpaid the amount Inc
The officer gave the ucrn to th<
elated Press as soon as he recovered his
mental balance.
The latest piece of information
Washington of great interest to tl.
cinity is that your uncle Moses Clapp
has parcuased a dress suit. It is rumor
ed that in the. autumn he will add n silk
hat to his wardrobe. Thus does civiliza
tion get in its work.
Chicago papers are all torn up over
the proper classification of ping-pang
The sporting editors have refused to u«
it. claiming that it is not properly
"sport;" the dramatic adltor denies that
it cornea under the head of amus«»r
th>' police reporter says the only <-\
induces is profanity, and he 1
touch it. and the religious editor thinks
he has trouble enough. So there Is noth
ing left but the society column, and here
ping-pong has found its true home.
A Dr. Robinson, of New York, a
Will build out a flat nose, cheek or ■
der at one sitting. Any Increase of cheok
In the vicinity of New York la to !
plored. -_W
St. Paul, May 25, 1902.
university, will decide in a few
whether or not he will accept tl.
to the hew Chinese profe
iuinbia university, New fork. Prof.
Hirth was for twenty-two years In
ous narts of China. He
beginning of the 80s to
Robert ilart, the Chinese col
Minister Joins Itoman CathelluM
The latest convert to Roman C
rism from the ranks of the i
cleiprv is the Key. Rudolpl
schul, a minister of the Reformed
copal church, who, with his wife
children, has recently vi
ilic communion, having b
firmed by the late Archbishop ■
shortly before the latter's fatal llli
V«-at Boycott Uronini;.
JVhat began in the disorganized r
Of a lew score Jewish women w\
lisfled with what they coi
the exorbitant price ask
the koscher butchers <m the East
grown within the last few .:.,
a movement so general that it I
to make itself Mt t
borhood In which the trouble first
1 !i<} boycott on meat on the lower.East
Ride is absolute, and scarcely a store at
tempted to do business. But this is not
all that the Jewish consumers hire
gamed. The Women's Anti-Beef T «st
association has won the support or all
the Jewish labor and benevolent lnstltu
lions in Greater New V.,rk. Siore than
100.00.) families are coming Into line with
the resolution to buy no meat until the
price is brought nearer to the level that
prevailed a year eago, and there are not
wanting- suns that some of the most
powerful Christian organizations are pre
pared to give active assistance in the
— -•*■•>-
I know a rath by a high gray cliff,
And down by the sandy shore.
Where the seagulls scream and the sea
weeds gleam.
And the green waves septhe and roar
A narrow path where the harebells -row
And the sweet ferns muster row and
And it leads, and it winds to the happy
place ' ' '
Where blooms the flower of thy dear
I know a path through the tall, r ,ol'
With a wild-rose hedge beside
Over a hill and a rock and a rill
And on through a
CUsway to the riSht> Wi' -
A tul n *J. the left through a clump of
A oTooked pathway beside th* sea
1 «Er°r tY£ 3 , path t0 a maldenra home-
My heart is a compass true—
\v?t°h S e mds tl n the lon S way ends
With the hill and its home in view.
But another pathway [ fain would know,
\l onß,}° follow its turnings so!
Ah. Tel, me how 1 ma -V win by art
The winding path to a maiden's heart?
-Abblo Farwell Brown, In Wornar.'»
Home Companion.
Prospective Pleasure.
Hear me singing,
See me Winging,
Feel me stinging—
i ye just come back to woo you.
To wake you and to chew you
Extract a little pabulum
vVlth sharp, incisive. labium.
For I'm an awful eater-
Yours truly,
r_ ■ A. Muskoteer,
-^r»ew Orleans Times-Democrat, i

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