mhe 3fctfintl ©lube
THE GLOBE CO., PUBLISHERS. :
OFFICIAL .^gg^^ CITY OF :
PAPER "^3dcl^^ SI. PAUL,
Entered at Postofflce at St. Paul, Minn.,
as Second-Class Matter.
' TELEPHONE CALLS. /
I Business—lo6s Main. Editorial —78 Main.
(Composing Room — Main.
' By Carrier. \ 1 mo 1 6 moa 1 12 moa*
Daily only .40 $2.26 $4.0S
Daily and Sunday. .50 2.75 6.00 ;
Sunday 15 .75 1.00 |
- COUNTRY SUBSCRIPTIONS.
By Mail. | 1 mo | 6 mos 112 moa
Daily only 25 $1.60 $3.00
Daily and Sunday. .35 2.00 4.00
Sunday ... .76 1.00
New York, 10 Spruce St.. Chas. H. Eddy
Chicago, No. 87 Washington St. The P.
; S. Webb Company in Charge.
' - —
WEATHER FOR TODAY.
Minnesota—Showers Sunday, with cool
er in south portion. Monday fair; brisk
Upper Michigan and Wisconsin
ers Sunday and Monday; brisk east winds.
lowa—Local rains and cooler Sunday.
Montana—Fair Sunday and Monday;
North and South Dakota— in west;
lacal rains in east portion Sunday. Mon
day fair and warmer.
St. Paul — Yesterday's temperatures,
taken by the United States weather bu
reau. St. Paul, P. F. Lyons, observer, for
the twenty-four hours ended at 7 o'clock
last night—Barometer corrected for tem
perature and elevation: Highest temper
ature, 74; lowest temperature, 62; aver
age temperature, 68; daily range, 12; bar-"
ometer, 29.14; humidity, 70; precipitation,
.37; 7 p. m., temperature, 71; 7 p. m.,
•wind, southeast; weather, cloudy.
Alpena t>o 60|Marquette ..64 70
Bismarck .. 62 641 Memphis ... 84 "' 88
Buffalo 68 74 Milwaukee ..68 74
Boston 74 80 Minnedosa ..56 62
Cheyenne ..62 8C Montgomery 88 94
Chicago 68 70 Montreal ...64 72
Cincinnati ..72 74 Nashville ...80 82
Cleveland ..72 78 New Orleansß4 92
Davenport ..72 SO New York ....76 82
Dcs Moines .80 82 Norfolk 72 86
' Detroit 70 74 N. Platte ...74 83
Duluth 62 62 Omaha .82 86
Edmonton . .60 62 jPhiladelphia 72 84
Galveston ..84 S6|PittsDurg ...78 86
Green Bay ..64 72|S8 *8'" sinoi •}£
Helena 62 64 Salt Lake ...90 90
Huron 56 84 S. Ste. Marie6o - 66
Jacksonville-78 82 Winnipeg ...62 72
Kansas City.B6 90, Washington .78 84
•Washington time (7 p. m. St. Paul).
Danger Gauge Change in
Stations. Line. Reading. 24 Hours.
St. Paul 14 2.4 ' 0.0
La Crosse 10 2.8 —0.1
Davenport 15 3.8 —0.2
St. Louis 30 18.6 —0.4
River forecast till 8 a. m. Monday: The
Mississippi will remain nearly stationary
tonight, Sunday and Sunday night.
TO OUR FRIENDS.
Anyone unable to (secure a
copy of The Globe on any
railroad train leaving or en
tering St. Paul will confer a
favor on the management by
reporting; the fact to the baa.
iuem oillce. Telephone, Main
—-— v—-"-- % ■'
Subscribers annoyed by Ir
regular or late , delivery at
The Globe will confer m fa
vor on the management by re
porting: the fact to the bnsine**
office. Telephone, Main lOGS.
SUNDAY, AUG. 10, 1902.
Roosevelt has not had time to an
swer the questions propounded by
Bryan—and it is probable he will
make a poor out of it when he under
takes thte job.
CANADA ASSERTING ITSELF.
Canada owes a great deal to Sir Wil
fred Laurier. The part he is now so
successfully playing at Westminster is
one of surpassing importance to the
empire, as well as to the Dominion. He
has stamped on the conference of colo
nial premiers the deep impress of his
own strong personality. He has taught
the imperial secretary of England's col
onies some true understanding of the
real destiny of the northern section of
the American continent. He has
brought the insular mind of English
statesmanship to realize that England
is what she is because of the existence
of the colonies; and that of all the col
onies, Canada has within her bounda
ries pre-eminently all the main re
quirements to national greatness.
It is a new character in which Can
ada reveals herself through her pre
mier to the British mind. We on this
side of the boundary line have laughed
often/it the attempted assumption by
CanadJan public men of national signif
icance on behalf of their country. Sir
Wilfred Laurier has made Mr. Joseph
Chamberlain understand that it is far
from a laughing matter, and his fellow
premiers have cast the sanction of their
concurrence on his attitude. '
Those who read newspapers can al
most locate the exact date of the pa
tronizing admission made by the then
existing government that the empire
owed some substantial recognition to
the colonies of the importance of their
relations to the empire, and that it
owed a duty toward them which it had
never performed. Canada and the
Australias, even during the lifetime of
many a man not yet old, were good
enough places to which to ship alike
Irish rebels and British thugs. The
measure of self-government bestowed
on them was bestowed in the spirit in
which concession is being made to Irish
demands from time to time —to get rid,
for the moment, if not for all time, of
the bother of giving attention to things
that were not sacredly of British im
portance in themselves, and to do it at
the minimum of cost.
Today Canada is moving with some-
thing of the strides which marked our
own Western growth for a half century.
The fertile fields of Western Canada
lying waste for so long are being tilled
by American farmers. The tide of im-
I migration beats with tremendous force
upon its shores. Railroads spring up
and measure their lengths through the
wilderness of yesterday. Canadian
steamships will soon leave Canadian
ports to carry to and from the ends of
the earth the products of Canadian in-
dustry and commerce. Leaving aside
the insignia of national authority, Can
ada has at her disposal today all the
essentials necessary to becoming an
important factor in the conduct of the
affairs of the world. ' .
It is to his ready recognition of these
conditions that the Canadian premier
owes the ascendancy of his present po
sition in the councils of the British
empire. His fellow-conferees defer to
his superior sagacity, and to the supe
rior importance of the great land he rep
resents. The destiny of Canada is in her
own hands, not in the hands of the pol
iticians at Westminster. Nor will Lau
rier surrender it into their hands.
Whatever others may do; however oth
ers among the colonial representatives
may view the correlative obligations of
empire and colony, he is so strong and
immovable in his position that the em
pire must show to the colony wherein
the gain is, not to the empire but to the
colony, in any proposal looking to clos
er relationship between the two.
Must Canadian trade remain in Brit
ish leading strings? Sir Wilfred Lau
rier has evidently answered this ques
tion for his people to his own and their
satisfaction. The answer may not suit
British imperialists, nor Canadian To
ries. But it looks to the promotion of
Dominion interests first, and of impe
rial interests afterward. It is not the
manner of answering the question
which Mr. Chamberlain might com
mend; but it is that which must decide
the commercial and industrial future
of Canada, and the greatness or small
ness of the part which it is destined to
play in any future scheme of British
"The tariff is the mother of trusts,"
said Havemeyer, of the sugar trust.
The whole brood of monopolies sprang
from the tariff incubator.
END OF THE AMES REGIME.
The events of the past week or ten
days in Minneapolis are now certain
to operate in bringing to a close one of
the most distressing situations ever re
vealed in the history of American mu
nicipal government. The resignation
of Mayor Ames is now actually in the
hands of the municipal authorities. His
brother, the chief of police, under
whose administration so much of in
famy was revealed, is out of office, and
with him have disappeared, apparently
forever, the worst of the band of cor
ruptionists so long in control in Minne
The whole municipal system estab
lished under Mayor Ames has literally
dissolved by force of its own helpless
corruption, and those who survive Mayor
Ames and his brother in the direction
of municipal affairs have shown by
their conduct within the past few days
that city government in that commu
nity will soon reach normal conditions.
The exhibition which is thus given x>t
the ability of the people of Minneapolis
to bring to a prompt ending a condi
tion involving both danger and disgrace
to the municipality is worthy of the
highest praise. If it were not attended,
as it has been, by the practice of indi
vidual politics, it would be still more
commendable in itself. The end of the
Ames family in the public service has
been reached. The people of Minne
apolis have had taught to them a bitter
lesson. If they have taken this lesson
really to heart there is no possibility
that in the future they will be disposed
to fly in the face of all political experi
ence by selecting, as they did at their
last city election, a class of men to
control in the administration of their
municipal affairs whom years of ex
perience had shown to be utterly lost
to all understanding of public morals
or public responsibility.
The Sunday Globe Is the most
cosmopolitan newspaper in the Twin
Cities. It contains all the news, the
best pages of specials and features,
pictures of local and foreign celebri
ties, and, in fact, everything that any
one should know or be interested in.
King Edward of England, in his re
cent proclamation, declared that he re
garded his forthcoming coronation as
an event of sacred importance. How
ever seriously the statement is to be
taken, it is quite evident that the peo
ple over whom Edward rules regards
his coronation as a great events
However much or little of historic
truth there be in the statement that
Thomas Jefferson tied his horse to
the White house railings and proceeded
on foot to take the oath of office, it is
certain that the third president of the
United States sought to give emphasis
on the occasion of his installation to his
conviction that pomp and public dis
play over the event did not comport
with his understanding of the require
ments of such an occasion.
Within the past one hundred years
there has been something of a change
of the point of view from which this
people regard the inauguration of their
chief magistrate. Then the occasion
was celebrated throughout the country
as an event of surpassing national im
portance. Now it is attended each suc
cessive occasion by more and more of
the pomp and circumstance which until
recent years we were wont to regard
as more befitting monarchial govern
The formal inauguration of Eng
land's king is not, we are told, a con
stitutional requirement. The laws of
succession operate to make the heir
apparent the actual ruler. Why, then,
all the spectacular show of yesterday
in London? Human kind have always
shown their readiness to yield to the
influence of outward show. Kings and
emperors have since their first appear
ance in the world done what King Ed
ward has done; and the multitude have
stood open-mouthed to watch the
All the military and civic pageant
visible on London's streets during the
past twenty-four hours cuts no figure
whatever with men who are concerned
in the serious events of life and do not
allow themselves to be diverted by the
foolish glamor which attends them.
The gaping mob, the industrious shop
keepers and the retainers of the court,
all have great concern in such display;
but the world passes it by, and takes
ultimately as little account of it as the
American observer does of the gyra-
THE ■-.rAUU, ULrTJBIS, , .BUWDAT,. AUUCST 10, 19OJZ.
tlons of a skyrocket on the Fourth of
It Is really a great historical event—
the formal induction of the ruler of a
great empire. In that light we may all
read with more or less interest the ac
counts of the coronation scenes. But
for the worth of the tawdry glitter and
show of it all —that may be well left to
the unthinking herd whom it is chiefly
intended to affect.
Harvest hands in some sections are
gathering more in wages than sheaves
from the field.
TRIBUTE TO A MINNESOTAN.
The people of Kansas are preparing
to pay J. V. Brower, the distinguished
Minnesota explorer, a graceful, unusual
and deserved tribute on Tuesday by
erecting a monument to him for his re
discovery of the old Spanish village of
Quivlra and the adjoining province of
Harahey, first discovered by Coronado
For three and a half centuries the
point at which Europeans made the
discovery of the Missouri basin re
mained an enigma. In 1896 and 1897
Mr. Brower made a careful study of the
region around the junction of the Re
publican and Smoky Hill rivers and
found evidence of an indisputable char
acter that the Spaniards settled at that
point in 1541.
An obelisk of polished granite, on
an axled granite die, with native lime
stone base, has been set up at Logan
Grove, Kansas valley, three miles from
Junction City. To the celebration 1,000
invitations have been issued by Capt.
Robert Henderson, one of Kansas' lead
ing men. Among those who will de
liver addresses are Profs. Warren Up
ham and N. H. Winchell, of Minnesota.
"Keeping everlastingly at it" is the
secret of success in business —that is,
keeping everlastingly advertising.
RELIC HUNTERS IN DISGRACE.
Relic hunting, always due to some
form of insanity, was never carried to
more revolting lengths than when the
body of Harry Tracy, the suicide out
law, was hauled through the streets
of Davenport, Wash. It is stated that
when the remains were deposited
in the morgue the crowd broke in and
took away bit by bit every stitch of
the dead man's clothing, even down to
the blood-stained handkerchief, with
which the desperado had sought to pre
vent bleeding to death. The bloody
strap which the bandit had drawn
tightly around his leg to stanch the
flow from the severed artery was also
seized and cut into small pieces. Nor
did the crazy Washingtonians stop
here. With a pair of sheep shears
they "snipped" locks of hair from the
dead man's head until it was wholly
bald in spots.
It is difficult to divine what is run
ning through the heads of men when
they commit acts of vandalism of so
horrible a character, and it is still more
difficult to believe that officers in
charge should permit of deeds so awful
as to appall humanity. Bad as Harry
Tracy was he did not deserve such
treatment from feilow men who have
had the advantages of twentieth cen
Starvation is abroad in the coal re
gions, it is reported; but the report
does not state that the barons have
begun to feel the pinch of hunger.
MAY YOHE'S ABSURD CHASE.
The most ludicrously disgusting epi
sode of the year is the chase across
sea, kingdom and republic of May Tohe
jn her futile search for Capt. Bradlee'
Strong, the young reprobate who a
year ago, under the pledge that he
loved her, accompanied Lord Hope's
wife to Japan. "I do not want any
body to think," said Miss Yohe, "that I
am running after Mr. Strong, for I am
not." Seeing that she had traveled
across the Atlantic, gone to London
and thence to Paris looking for the
young man, nobody would have to
think she was running after him. They
would know it without going through
a process so elaborate as thinking.
And could anything be more absurd
than Miss Yohe's act. Strong had not
only robbed the young woman of what
honor she had left, but he had pawned
her jewels and run away from her,
rumor strongly hints, with another
woman. With all this evidence right
before her eyes Miss Tohe makes a
hurried trip of thousands of. miles to
plead with a worthless scamp who isn't
worth going across a forty-foot lot to
see, unless for the purpose of giving
him a hard kick.
It would serve Strong right if he
had to work in the cotton fields of
Texas the rest of his days, and it is
by no means sure that Miss Yohe
should not have to do some sort of pro
tracted penance for her acute attack
of moral obliquity.
What so rare as a day that goes by
without furnishing an Oyster Bay
date line for the newspapers?
CAPT. STREETER'S GREAT BAT
Sitting in an old barn, stroking his
red beard slowly and looking ruefully 1
out over the waters of Lake Michigan
at Chicago, is Capt. George Wellington
Streeter, regarded by many as one of
the heroes of the century. For sixteen
years Streeter has been fighting with
powder and ball, in justice shops and
in state and federal courts, for title to
a portion of land owned along the lake
shore which now amounts to 186 acres,
but which at the outset was only a
sandbar on which his steamboat Reu
tan grounded over 400 feet from the
Little by little the lake threw up
earth until there was 186 acres of solid
ground, where sixteen years ago there
was nothing but water. Streeter stay
ed on the sandbar and watched the
growth, aiding it wherever and when
ever he could, all the time laying claim
to the accretion. His title to the prop
erty was of course disputed and with
growing vehemence as it gained in
value. The "made" land is near the
heart of the city on the North side and
is today worth millions of dollars and
scores of people assert ownership to it.
Strangely through all these years of
fierce warfare in courts, both civil and
criminal, not until a few days ago was
a decision ever rendered upon the title
to any part of the tract. Now Judge
Chytraus has found tlgit Streeter has
no good title to six acres of the realty,
a portion, too, w|ich gave the old man
much concern because upon that he
had built his coiit house.
Therefore it is that Capt. Streeter,
baffled but. not l£;aten^has moved his
court trappings to a barn at the foot
of Chicago avenue and is preparing,
sorrowfully, b,ut £he less gamely,
for the next step in the great battle
for "the district of Lake Michigan."
The contest is at least the most pic
turesque in the history of American le
One more denial Is added to the rec
ord of the report that other lines of
railroad are seeking admission into
this city. Whatever else the denial
proves it shows at least that all the
arrangements for that particular ad
dition are not made—or the denial
would not be necessary.
Mr. Bryan cannot complain of the
impartiality of the press reports con
cerning him. It is not every man who
can be proclaimed, all within forty
eight hours, as at once announcing
himself to be, and declining to be, a
candidate for the presidency.
The need of propping the industry
of American ship-building with gov
ernment bounties is most painfully
felt when one reflects that every ship
building yard on the Great Lakes is
busy with contracts which will occupy
every hour for a year to *ome.
If the Winnipeg oarsmen are not
careful the enlightened Eastern man
will be hunting up his map, to see
where in the United States that place
with the queer-sounding name is lo
A fellow named Bible has secured the
Democratic nomination for congress
over in Michigan. A long-distance
survey seems to indicate that this is
dangerously near mixing religion and
A Londoner has perfected a method
of manufacturing paper stockings.
He'll be lucky if the London laundry
men do not murder him before he gets
well under way.
The market price of the hog has
fallen. The fact, however, does not
not suggest that the animal is any less
of an important factor in American
Well, Mr. Heatwole, if you will make
affidavit that you do not intend to run
for congress in the Third district, we
will consider the incident closed.
Minneapolis' new chief of police is
a man without police experience. But
he can't do as badly as his predeces
sor, even if he should try his best
The young man who can fall 350
feet and then live to deny the belief
in his death, was not born to die
Jersey mosquitos are reported so
large this year that they can be used
instead of mules for motor purposes.
Things are serene again. Beveridge
is not to stump Texas and Bailey is to
irTake no speeches in Indiana.
Alas, that we are so soon forgot!
Hardly one can be found who remem
bers Tracy to this day.
The coronation was pulled off with
out any squabbling over the moving
Cuba's cry lor help is yet unan
Edward VII. is now every inch a
"THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS AWAY."
borne wise old Arab in the days of old
looked out on the desert, wild and wide.
A sea of sand like burnished gold,
ihat never is moved by wind or tide:
The sky above and the sand below
Away, away to the bounds of space
When Time's river has ceased its flow
And broken ages have left their grace.
Where the pyramids guard their kingly
And the sphinx looks out with stony
And the wild beast sfeals with noiseless
And simoom rages and swoons and dies:
He gazed at the passive plain and sky
The same through the ages, the same
But he looked through the years with a
"This, too, shall pass forever away."
And if true of the desert so lone and
Where change has forgotten his name to
Where Memnon mourns when the mowi is
' And (he centuries brood till they fade
Yet truer by far of the changeful play,
From comedy's smile to tragedy's strife
where the actors change as day by day
They take their parts in the play of life.
The king rides in on a cloth of gold.
And the vassal bows to the craven dust,
And the tread of the warrior—fierce and
And the villain, filled with hate and
Riches and pomp are on the stage,
The good and the bad have a part in
But—remember the words of the Arab
"This, too, shall pass forever away."
Joy comes on with a goodly tra,in.
The roses of June, the sprays of heather
Pale and alone comes ghastly pain,
And the songs and the groans are blent
Parcel and part of the lives we live, "
From father to sqn since time began,
Whether we hold or whether we give.
It seems a part of the common plan,
No creation can last for aye,
Though long ,the acts and many the
But come and go with the passing play.
On the tragic stage we call our hearts
Love and hate are closely allied,
As earth's mutations of night and day:
Close are the springs by both supplied,
But, "This, too, shall pass forever
Through weal and woe, through woe and
Our hearts are beating the steady knell.
And the plastic clay by the flying wheel,
Is molded by fate in its mystic spell,
I sit and gaze on the tragic stage,
From the glittering audience far apart,
And in grief and silence the contests
That trample the galled and bleeding
And there in the silence I sit alone,
Till the body is lost and the soul is
And back to a grave it has safely flown,
A grave is only a shallow thing,
I see ag-ain that beautiful face,
The queen of my heart forever and aye,
And I will not believe such heavenly
Can pass forever and ever away.
That wise old savage in desert bleak,
What knew he (Of love, or what of her?
It is not for man of that love to speak,
Of its power to last, or Us depth infer.
If the maiden of'^aope but a sheaf can
If a shadow from floating wing is cast,
If a star in the drteary night is seen,
If the glow gives promise of dawn at
The beautiful body is lost, I grant.
Nature, has called it home again.
And soul is denied by trie wise savant.
And life beyond is a myth of the brain.
But love defies the grave. 1 know.
And its enemies face like a lion at bay,
In each heart that loves it is whispering
Thy 4ove shall not pass forever away.
—Carlton J. Greenleaf.
Sent Him His Answer.
"Yes, I proposed to her by letter."
"And what w:i3 her reply?"
"She simply referred me to a certain
chapter and page in 'The Life of Lord
"And what did you find?"
"It says 'After fruitlessly applying for
command of the ship by letter he went in
person to see about it, and then he se
cured it.' "—Exchange. •
j Wangled in a
It has finally leaked out why drinks
in tha Philippines make temporary
maniacs of those who imbibe them. A
private soldier from America writes:
"The native drink is bino. or concen
trated tarantula juice, cactus juice,
barbed wire and lightning." The same
young man adds: "The Philippines
are an appropriate present for a dead
A fellow named Mudd won an auto
mobile race in Chicago. It is a char
acteristic of mud to stick to the end.
Hyphen cut quite a dash by winning
the $10,000 Brighton Derby stakes.
John Finerty telegraphed John Red
mond from Chicago "Remember Lim
erick." The operator at Dublin got it
"Remember Limburger," but he cor
rected himself before any aroma xose
from the cheese.
The Chicago bigamist who got his
life insured for $10,000 before facing
his two wives in court had a highly
developed sense of humor.
The delayed crowning of King Ed
ward was only worth about half a
Thirty thousand Filipinos have been
vaccinated by Americans.—Chicago
Is that what they call puncturing a
man with lead in the archipelago?
Secretary Shaw declares that he will
not run for president in 1904. What
is Shaw talking about? He couldn't
even walk for president.
Some wonderful newspapers will be
issued by the office boys this week. The
Minnesota editors are to take a trip
down the lakes. •
Senator Quay had a most exciting
experience off Atlantic City the other
day, with his old friend, Capt. Sooy.
The sea was apparently induced to
chop Sooy and anything else around.
It is presumed M. Deutsch will not
again offer a 100,000 franc prize for a
dirigible baloon. Deutsch went out
in an automobile which was suppos
edly running on the ground. He went
home with several broken ribs.
The activity of Littlefield and Cam
eran for Speaker Henderson's seat is
amusing. The speaker of the next na
tional house of representatives will be
Chicago has a new butter inspectoi
What does Chicago want of a butte
inspector? Chicago eats oleomargarin
and is proud of it.
And yet several people do not seem to
like it because Prince Henry is ex
changing chromos for $784 dinners.
Lay up a bank account these rainy
days. You may want to buy a half a
ton of coal some time.
The Rev. William Macafee, of Ev
anston, 111., lost his pulpit because* he
slighted the Bible. Served him right.
The pulpit is a singularly bad place
from which to slight the Bible.
Now Cuba begins to feel like the
other big nations of the earth. It has
started a public debt.
The Republicans of the Third Ar
kansas district have nominate^ a can
didate for congress. What a lot of
things people do in this world which
are wholly useless.
A California astronomer has discov
ered 100 pairs of double stars. Is this
on the square, professor, or just an
other case of California grape juice
The American small boy who didn't
die of lockjaw after the Fourth of July
is likely to have a comparatively pleas
ant summer* The green apple crop is
Utica, N. T., reports the hottest July
in seventy-six years. Utica has the
advantage of us Westerners. Few of
us remember how hot it was here sev
enty-six years ago*. Old Bug-ah-me
geshig might know.
Okaharay Varradhara, Siamese min
ister to the United States, says the
crown prince of Siam is to be in the
United States in October. He ought
not to be allowed to land if -he hasn't
a shorter name than the minister.
Mme. Jules Cambon says "American
women overdress everywhere." Not
arond the neck.
The maharajahs and the goekwars
wore $200,000,000 worth of jewels at
the coronation of King Edward. They
spoiled things, though, by making th,eir
wives wear rings in their noses.
Alice Roosevelt has had another pho
tograph taken. It is plain that those
Washington photographers will have to
wait until some other summer to get
The full name of the judge who is
sued the sweeping injunction against
the West Virginia miners is John Jay
Jackson. The miners say his middle
name fits him.
However, it may be truthfully said of
Evelyn Baldwin that he has discover
ed as many north poles as any of his
A woman punched a Stillwater re
porter with her right, waved an Ameri
can flag over him with her left, and
kicked him with both feet. She was
eccentric. He was indignant.
What's the hurry, ye men who are
trying to break into the legislature?
Wait until the new capitol is lfiished.
A nice, clean 'place like that will be a
good place to make nice, clean laws.
Now it is said Gov. Crane will man
age President Roosevelt's campaign. It
is a crane, isn't it, that is used to lift
The three R's, Rum, Romanism and
Rebellion," beat the Republican party
once, but it seems anxious for another
thrashing under "Roosevelt, Revision
The lowa watermelon has been de
feated in its long suit. It has been
ruined by water.
Dr. W. B. Clarke, of Indianapolis,
says smallpox is a blessing. A whole
lot of Americans are willing to get
along without a portion of the bless
It has come to this: An American
railway has been obliged to place an
order for steel rails in a foreign coun
try in order to secure satisfactory de
Let all the sewing maids and nurses
look up. Margaret Bergen, who did
service in - the family of William
Shakespeare Caldwell, of New York,
for half a century, left a fortune of
It would perhaps not be exactly out
of order for young mothers to call their
brave but bad boys Tracy.
It is noticed the "late" John S.
Clarkson, of lowa, is hanging pretty
close to the wheel of Theodore Roose
velt. The further Mr. Roosevelt geta
from the "late" Mr. Clarkson the bet
ter it will be for the Republican party.
Jim Highpeach has been killed in a
feud flg-ht in Tennessee. Mr. Sour
Grapes, probably because he was some
what higher, is still alive.
People and things
Mr. Charles M. Schwab has been
telling a long-suffering public what
he thinks about things in general, and
how to get a start in life. He says a
college education is not a necessity
for a man, and the worst thing that
can happen to a young man is to start
in life "with influence." We take it
for granted from these wise remarks
that Mr. Schwab did not have a col
lege education and neither did he be
gin life with Influence. It is singular
that when a man makes money what
he thinks upon every subject from
metaphysics to door mats becomes of
great importance. It he went to col
lege, a collegiate training is of prime
importance in his eyes, but if he did
not go to coHege he fails to see where
in it assists any young man to suc
cess. If he ate with his knife and
swept out the store in his early years,
he talks learnedly about beginning at
the bottom of the ladder and sniffs at
culture. One of the pleasant things
to look forward to is a time when the
papers will have something else in
them than "how I succeeded," by
Schwab, or a description of the par
ticular pump at which Tracy stopped
to wash his face, or what May Yohe
intends to do next. Then, indeed, will
the millenium have arrived.
Had Gems in Great Number.
An interesting item from London
tells of the reception given for the
visiting Indian princes who came to
the belated coronation. It is reported
that one of the most expensively at
tired potentates was the Maharajah
of Kolapore, who wore a necklace of
500 pearls; next to him came the Ma
harajah Scindia of Gwailor, who went
the ruler of Kolapore one better in the
matter of jewels and was so covered
with gems that he was unable to sit
down. The Maharajah of Tagore
came under the wire a close second
with a turban that was so weighted
down with large rubies that his ma
harajaship went home with a head
ache before the afternoon was half
over. But that is not all. The neck
lace of the Gaekwar of Baroda made,
says the report, the European prin
cesses feel hopeless. Now it would
not be pleasant to have the world at
large know that we were unaware
what a gaekwar is, but such is the
cold fact, and the dictionary giving
no clue we are obliged to fall back
upon a very slight knowledge of logic
and argue from cause to effect. Even
here one hesitates, as it is perhaps
only in this country that men do not
wear necklaces, and to say that un
doubtedly a gaekwar is a woman, be
cause it wore a necklace, might result
in confusion. We have a strong sus
picion, however, that gaekwar is fem
inine for marharajah. The point of
the report is that at the reception in
question these personages left their
trunks empty and wore the best they
Farmers' Anxious Season.
This is the time of year when all
Westerners live in the shadow ot hope
or fear about crops. They rise in the
morning trembling with fear that the
weather man may predict rain, and
we have had so much rain that the
crops will be "rusted." When lo! a
farmer from somewhere comes out
with the announcement that unless we
have rain within twenty-four hours,
the crop will be ruined. Then every
one begins to pray for rain, litanies
are said for rain, and the oldest in
habitant may be found searching the
skies at 5 a. m. for signs of a cloud.
Suddenly it starts in to pour • and
keeping it up for three days we learn
with consterntion that unless it stops
there will be no crop at all! Prayers
for surcease from rain are then sent
up and answered with suc]fl celerity
that the farmers are again in trouble.
But what's the use of worrying?
Farmers were never known to be suit
ed, yet, for if the crop is large, they
tell us it will bring a small price and
STORY OF MUGGY MUGGINS
By Himsslf in Chicago Chronicle
April 15—Happiness I have found
out of two kinds —and both are but of
short duration. Both brands are as
elusive as an eel in melted butter.
Neither one remains as long as a book
agent when you are in a hurry.
In the first place there is the happi
ness that comes when you first order
up the suds. As the cool, refreshing
stuff slides down your parched throat
a sudden warmth seems to pervade
your whole being and a happiness
comes over you.
I canot describe it.
You cannot describe it.
But it gets there just the same. This
happiness I identify with that of a pig
wallowing in a fine, large, well-churn
ed mud puddle.
It is so comfortable.
It is so delightfully delicious.
It is just real nice, so there now!
But there is the great still happi
ness that comes to you after you are
all in. Then is that unspeakable joy.
After you have fallen under the table,
the lights are dim and the other com
panions have taken the big sneak.
What more in all this world is there to
wish for? What greater, deeper joy
can there be in all the world than to
lie under the table in the sawdust,
your only companions the affectionate
little flies, and the only noise the sound
of your snoring?
The happiness is beyond anything
known to science and to the volupt
uary. It throws all other joy away
back on the last seat under the bal
cony. It makes the reddest bliss look
pale and wan. It looms up beside the
happiness of other events like a dia
mond alongside a doughnut. It looks
like real country cream beside the blue
milk of a Chicago dairy.
Such joy as that comes not to the
It takes too much dough.
It is like a rag-time selection sung
by a vaudeville artist. There is some
thing in it beyond words to tell.
It is like a coon song sung by a coon
song artist of the most approved type.
But the words pounded out on a
typewriter fail to convey one iota of
A HOME IN WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA.
I "'*" :-- *--•* -:: iyh- ■■ . -vx I
From "Southern Workman," Hampton, Va. Photograph of Tarbell, Ashe
ville, N. C.
._ "Be it ever so humble, t here's no place like home."
they lose; while if it is small there
is no money in it, anyway. . .
; Hint:to Twilight Sheet.
Editorial suggestion for an evening
• WOMEN : jmiSSe! 11 are *
' couß?r T-v Thy should not
CUURAGE. | be allowed.
— ~'"- '■ ' They get so in
the way and mix themselves up in
what does not concern them. *
A woman down in Tarantula, Ind.,
repeated a slanderous story about an
other woman's husband, . and when it
came to his ears, instead :of bringing
suit for slander against the woman, he
sued her husband and he had to pay
damages. - . -- .'
This Is an awful thing. .
_ It shows what a mistake it ;is to
listen to women when they talk.
* ■ As they talk all the time, what is to
be done? jl- 1-*: -:?
Get away from them: muzzle them.
It takes courage.
But courage is the greatest thing in
the world. It la ■ what wo need before
THE MAN WHO HAS THE COUR
AGE TO MAKE HIS WIFE STOP
TALKING OR ELSE STICK TO THE
WEATHER AND THE LATEST
THING IN PILLOW SHAMS IS THE
MAN WHO WILL BE A SUCCESS IN
Courage Is what we admire in a
man; silence in a woman.
Here's to the brave man!
Millers Have Hallucinations.
Things are becoming- worse in Min
neapolis. Nearly everyone in the city
has had something happen to him, and
those who have not yet had any ex
citing experiences suffer from hal
lucinations and presentiments of ap
proaching trouble. A woman was ar
rested the other night who was sup
posed to be insane because she feared
that her house was to be burned by
the neighbors. Such a fear at such a
time in Minneapolis Is surely a sign
of unusual sanity and the cruelty of
depriving the poor woman of her lib
erty on such a pretext adds one more
to a long line of injustices. The fact
that nothing had happened to her, and
that her house had not been set on
fire, naturally made her suspicious,
particularly as her husband had not
been arrested for any crime. It is to
be hoped that One of the acting mayors
will see that the poor woman is re
The pleasantest bit of news of the
past week was" the report that Capt.
Bradlee Strong is intending to do away
with himself. The most humorous itf^n
is that Minneapolis' latest mayor says
the fair name of his city has been be
Sagasta Once Reporter.
Society reporters on the daily pa
pers who are apt to think that life Is
not all joy should take heart from
the report that Senor Sagasta, prime
minister of Spain, was once society re
porter on a Madrid paper. He is now
eighty years old and is reported to
have as many wrinkles as a war vet
eran. Endeavoring to write up a pink
tea in as many ways as there are daya
in the week probably induced many of
A St. Paul young man was discharg
ed by a local. firm recently because he
persisted in telling the exact truth to
customers. So much trouble 'resulted
that he had to go. As he was depart
ing the head of the house said that
it was not so much that they wanted
to employ liars, as that they desired
men who used some genius in telling
the truth. i
* * * . •■::'"■
"How to Look Well in Summer" is
the title of a learned article for wom
en in a current weekly paper. How to
look well all the year round would find
more readers. —Mab.
St. Paul, Aug. 9, 1902.
Apologies to Mary Mac Lane).
the happiness that is in this last jag
of bliss. It is such a kind of happiness
as will come to me some day when I
marry the brewer's daughter.
Ah, hasten the day when I shall
stand before the J. P. and say "You
bet your sweet life," when he asks me
if I take her for better or for worse.
She is the one altogether lovely. She
is the daughter of the man with beer
vats. When she shall tread the path
of life side by side with me then will
this unspeakable bliss be mine most of
There are so many fools in the
world. If there were more men of
sense the brewer's daughter would be
surrounded by a mob all the time and
her offers of matrimony would out
number the applications for a govern
But I wait in my loneliness for the
coming of the brewer's daughter.
Some day she will dawn upon me
and all my troubles will be a thing of
But, Oh, how can I wait?
To be a young man, alone and with
a terrible thirst is something frightful.
I carry about with me a terrible
How I wish I had a load.
Oh, how can I wait?
Oh, darn, darn, i&m.
Darn the whole world. Darn every
thing living and all things dead!
Darn Mark Hanna!
Darn some of Chicago's constables!
Darn Carrie Nation and all those
who smash saloons and spill good
Darn the heat and darn the cold!
Darn the summertime and the win
ter and ditto the spring and fall.
Darn the city and darn the country.
Darn the evening and darn the morn
ing thereof, and darn the night and
the noon and the dawn and the twi
Darn everything, yea, darn socks!
Oh, I am so tired. Can't you see
how frightfully tired I am?
Please won't some kind person come
along and hit me with a brick?
xml | txt