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j. •, .'.^.i'.-^vC Wt mfr n?Isr •V *t I 1 ft' "STANDARD" BREVITIES. Or whetfaer'Gladstone lose or win The battle that is chancing. Home B«de, through hindrance thick and thin, Will go on still advancing. A modest youtli was he he kifised her finger tips. She softly said, Ah, me! "Why was I bom with lips?" Two stupid hunters shot a woman, mistaking her for a bear. A woman should never be mistaken for anything but a dear. Mrs. Coyne has sued a man in Youngs town, Ohio, for damages for breach of promise. He don't want Coyne, but she does. "Dad," said a bad little boy, as his parent was about to take him across his knee to administer deserved punish ment "letfa arbitrate." Puck states the mosquitoes are so large in a certain town on Long Island that a bald-headed resident keeps them off in a church by wearing a baseball catcher's mask. Churchill's physician is evidently a wise old sawbones. Seeing the disas trous way in which the Tory bantam was exploding his mouth, he ordered Mm abroad to take a rest. In leap year Japanese girls who want liushauds set out flower pofca o.u the front portico as an emblem. In this country they sit out their themselves with young man as an emblem. Monkeys are imitative animals, and •when you see one that always wants to put his feet on the table and expectorate on the floor, you may know he belongs to a member of the Legislature. DEBAiUiED OP HEARING. '•Yo'i remind me," shouted Mr. Mid dlerib to his wife's cousin, who is as deaf as a post, "you remind me of Tom Moore," '^Vhy?" queried the listening one. '•Because/' shrieked Mr. Middlerib, •"you're de bard of Erin." NOT A. IXEIIIEYEB IN MOKMONISM. "No," said .a henpecked husband, as he scratched his bald head, "I ana not a believer in Mormonism, not by a long chalk. Why not?7' asked the sympathizer with whom he was conversing. '.'Because," replied the henpecked man,"'I don't believe in a man having two wives. Ko man can serve two masters.5 DID THEY STAY? Mrs. Hobson—Now, you and Bobby must stay to luncheon, Mrs. Hendericks. It will be announced in a very short time. Mrs. Henclerieks—Really, Mrs. Hob son. you are very kind, but I couldn't think of it. We shall be expected at home, and—er—I ought to have gone Jong before this but I had no idea it •was late, and Bobby has a cold. Bobby (anxious to stay)--My cold is a good deal better, ma, and besides you toid the cook not to get any lunch for us because we wouldn't be home to eat it." WHO TOOK CARS OF THEM? Little Harry, aged seven, is of an in vestigating disposition, as witness: Aunt Virginia, v/ere all people once babies?" "Yes, dear.'5 "All men and women—my pa, and me, and you and Uncle Harry?" 'Yes—everybody' "Well, what I want to know is, who took care of the first babies?" This was a stunner, and Aunt Vir ginia being unequal to the occasion, young Harry finally gave his matured opinion: "Well, I know—God took care of them." This is an actual occurrence. HONOR AMONG THIEVES. A burglar was going through a house in a Dakota town one night and discov ered an exceptionally large roll of money. Curious to know whether he had broken into an editor's house or that of some other variety of capitalist, be turned to the owner, who had just awakened, and said: "Excuse me, Colonel, but I would like to inquire how you came by such an un usually large wad of wealth!" "Sir." replied the moneyed man. "I am a member of the territorial legisla ture." A thousand pardons!" exclaimed the polite burglar, dropping the money. "Shake. We never steal from members of the profession. Good night.'' WHO SHE WAS. "She went into a furniture store with Jier husband, a faint-hearted little man, •who carried a second fiddle under his arm. She dragged the salesman all over the ground floor, and leaving her hus band down stairs, she took the clerk to the second floor to look at some willow chairs. The poor clerk, tired and weary, finally made some answer that kindled her wrath. "Do you know who I am!" "No, madam, I do not," he replied, politely. "Well, sir, I'd have you know I am Mrs. Blank, of Prairie avenue, and that is my husband down stairs." "Oh! I beg yotir paxdon, I thought ''''%possibly you might be Mr. Blank, of J1Mprfyirifl avenue, and that was your wife down-stairs." r* TOTAL ABSTINENCE SOCIETIES. Written for The Irish Standard by Eev. mes McG-olrick. The active existence and continued growth of the Catholic Total Absti nence societies of the Diocese of St. Paul afford proof ample of the advan tages and blessings bestowed by them upon the entire community. A cause which can count over fifteen years of earnest labor, so fruitful of good to its members, should be considered safe and stable, giving us reasonable grounds for our faith in it, as well as a pledge of its continuance in the future. In that time many societies oi' fair promise have arisen, lived their little day and went out of existence. Prophets of evil omen have many a time announced a like fate for the total abstinence societies, but time has proved the forecast vain, and convert ed to better views many of the prophets. Holy Church's wise restraints on the evil passions of men, by means of last and abstinence, reach to the very first principles of total abstinence ?rom in toxicating liquors hence the blessings of the Church on a cause so well cal culated to prevent sin in all its fearful phases, and more particularly the crime of drunkenness. How to do awav with drunkenness and the miseries in its train has long been a question most serious both in Church and State, ihe frequent reception of tb9 sacraments, individual pledges, and various spirit ual influences to prevent intemperance have had no slight assistance from the work of the total abstinence societies thev have therefore been notabiy ap proved and favored by the Plenary Council, of Baltimore, honored by the blessing of the Provincial Councils and largely indulgence*,! by our Holy Father Leo XIII., as well as by our late Holy Father of glorious memory, Pius IX. How to further the growth of such im portant aids to temperance? lio-v to prevent the evils in. the way of thai growth will be well worth our serious consideration. AIDS TO THIS GROWTH OF SOCIETIES. To keep men in total abstinence so cieties it is not merely necessary that they should meet from time to time, but that the members be employed in various useful ways as collectors in the Church, as visitors to the sick, as agents to introduce strangers to their fellow-Oailiolici-, and thus make use of a well organized body to prosecute Catholic charities. CB.K1 STIAST DOCTRINE. The members of temperance societies whether amongst Father Mathew men, Crusaders, or Cadets, can materially as sist the clergy of their parishes in the cueaMonday ai-JSevsitrfc. teaching of Catechism, keeping good order during the Church services, and even in the maintaining of useful and entertaining libraries of Catholic books for general reading. CHARACTER OF MEETINGS, The mere routine work inseparable from the management of fclie societies should be made as brief as possible, and the larger portion of the time of meetings be given to addresses and papers on useful subjects, such as the Catholic History of the United States, General Catholic History, and on our duties as citizens and Catholics. While amusements often form a large portion of the young men's meetings, they must never degenerate into foolish or un seemly displays, but he always char- and recitations. Amongst the causes of the decline and extinction of many societies we rank iirst the neglect of duty on the part of officers. Their absence, carelessness in carrying out the regular order of the exercises and apparent apathy in eon ducting the work. The members meet ing with frequent, disappointments, soon cease their attendance and finally drop out from the societies altogether. WANT OF AID FROM SPIRITUAL DI RECTORS. Many societies large in numbers and full of earnestness have gradual-v re laxed in their duties through lack of aid from the spiritual directors. In country parishes the only time for the meeting is immediately after Mass, and then the priest being frequently busily employed, the people anxious to return to their homes, the society meet ing is passed over to the great detri ment of the cause of temperance. To obviate this difficulty, special meetings should be held, and an occasional notice from the altar giyen with cordial ap proval would help to keep the society together. Amongst the most destructive agencies in societies, stands pre -eminently, poor attendance at the regular spiritual du ties of the society. The union of the members at the Holy Table fosters Catholic unity and brings a spe cial and direct blessing from Our Lord Himself on those who are assem bled in His Name. The introductioh of frivolous or use less subjects for debate, personal at tacks and bitterness of tone and manner must also be avoided, as being extreme detrimental to the growth and well-be ing of societies. The kindliest feelings should actuate the members, knowing that they are enlisted in a cause whicti of itself "excites the hostility of a largo body engaged in the sale and manu—• facture of intoxicating liquors and the host of followers in th« saloon interest. While so large a body of our fellow citizens bid us God-speed, we must never rm acterized by Christian modesty in songs named Dupont poisoned his young son forget that disunion iu our own iMfl Jl" 1 ^'v"' 4. f. ul *& r-Ji"ns» gr#»»rw» it rasr «yr I A THP' ranks will be a sure fore-runner of de struction. Rambling and incoherent remarks on the constitution and by-laws, with a constant ringing of the changes on the rules once adopted cause also a distaste for society meetings which should be altogether avoided. In fine total abstinence societies have within their province the educa tion of the great society outside them to temperate habits —to eradicate the pauperism caused by drunkenness, and to uphold the honest sober work ingman in his maintenance of total ab stinence. State Officers of the A. 0. H. The following named gentlemen com prise the State Officers, and County Delegates of Minnesota of the different A. O. H. Divisions: Lawrence Fahey, state delegate, St. Paul Wm. S. Bayley, state secretary, Minneapolis John Murphy, state 'ireasurer,. Winona. COUNTY DELEGATES. John P. Fitzgerald, Minneapolis, Hennepin T. F. Keileher, St. Paul, Ramsey James T. Barron, Stillwater, Washington Frank E. Newell, Morris, Stevens M. J. McDonald, Graceville, Bigstono »T. B. Smith, St. Cloud, Sterns Thomas Walsh, Albert Lea, Freeborn D. F. McDerinott, Clout-art, Swiit T. M. Sullivan, Anoka, Anoka Edward Doyle, St. Vincent. Kittson Michael McOabe, Dulutb, S^. Louis James Hayes, Winona, Winona Hugh Connolly, Hastings, Dakota. "Alittle Nonsense," Etc., Etc. The remarkable spectacle'was present ed at Shakopeo on the 4 th of July oi Mayor Ames of Minneapolis, Judge Rand, Judge McDonald and Dr. Dunn striving to outdance each other, with the sun at 105° in the shade. The contest was kept up for an hour, in the presence of aa audience of 5,000. Who caine off the victor is not known, but before the contest WAS Hugh S. Thompson, late governor of South Carolina, has qualified as assist a at secretary of the. treasury. It is predicted that congress will sit through July. This has been done only three times in 25 years. The first through train on the Cana dian Pacific road ran from Montreal to Port Moody, 2,873 miles in 18-1 hours. E. St. John, who entered the service of the Rock Island road iu 1863, is an nounced as assistant general manager. At Portland, Oregon, an Aiastian and then himself on account of domes tic trouble. A company with $750,000 capital stock has been incorporated at Spriug liekl to build a railroad from Pan a to Rood house. After a fast of iifty-three days, tak ing oi'ily a little weak tea and wniskey Airs.. Caroline Benedict died at Mott viile, Xew York. The racing record has again been broken at Chicago. Biimette Monday made a mile and a quarter at Washing ton Park in 2:07*. The United States steamer Alliance has been taken to Newport by Eear Admiral Jouett, to have her speed tested over a measured mile. Herr K'rupp, the German founder, bas contracted to supply China with fteen hundred tons of rails at a price far below the English proposals. The suit of Mrs. De Boode-Bice, the pianist, to recover $10,000 from the Illi nois Central road for injuries sustained in an accident at Duck Hill, Mississ ippi, is now on trial in a Chicago court. The propellor Oconto, recently wrecked in the St. Lawrence, slipped off the rocks at Clavton while being lightened, and went down in 120 feet of water. The Denver and Rio Grande road was Monday sold at Denver to a syndi cate representing the bondholders for $15,000,000. The outstanding indebted ness is now only about $150,000.. James McHenry, of London, well known on both sides of the Atlantic from his connection with railways, is about to be committed to prison by order of the bankruptcy court. President Cleveland has pardoned R. Porter Lee, the embezzling president of a Buffalo bank, who has already served five years in the penitentiary. The main reason given is the need of his support by bis wife and five chil dren. vk t, THE IRISH STANDARD: SATURDAY, JULY 17,1886. C3 1JTC ended the two bands that furnished the music for them were forced to resign, having blown themselves out.—Pioneer Press. THE WORLD AT LARGE, Peru wants to expel the Jesuits. The young Emperer of' China is ser iously ill,. The news dealers are in national convention ar Chicago. Reed Worden,a retired rear admiral, Bartley Campbell, the insane play right, is failing rapidly. Only half of the appropriation bills have been signed by the President. \i i^m^*--K&s>s FINE PHOTOGRAPHS 45N CABINET PHOTOS. $3.00 PER DOZEN, P— C3 C3 FINEST GALLERY IN NORTHWEST. Dr. W. C. Wickings New York Dental Rooms, Room No. 5, Mackey-Legg Block, 400 NICOLLET AVENUE, MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. TAKCB TUB ELEVATOR A. P. McCARRON, Painter, House Painting, G'aroint' and KHteomhaing on abort noiice and aasonab.e rates. 37 South Sixth Street, Minneapolis, 6. W. SAWYER, Proprietor. Imported and Domestic WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS, 48 THIRD STKEET SOUTH. PKOBATE S'OTIOE. QTATE OF MINNESOTA. Count}' of Honnc k5 pin—Probate Court. In tlie matter of (.he estate ol' Patrick Slevin, decease 1. On rending ami tiling tLie flnaJ account of Catherine Slevin, administratrix of said de ceased. and her petition praying for the allow ance of said account ami for a decree assigning the residue of said estate to the persons bylaw entitled to the same. ft is ordered. That said petition le beard at a general term of this Court, to be held at the Court House in the. City of Minneapolis, iu said county, on Monday, the 2d day of August, at o'clock in the. forenoon and that notice of eoelv bearing tie jcrivon to all persons inter ested, by publishing this order at least once in each week for two successive -.veekp prior to said day of hearing, in The Ir5sh Standard, newspaper printed and published in said county. Dated at Minneapolis this 13th day of July, By the Court: A. UELANI), J. K. CORRIGA-X, Judgeot'Probate. Attorney for estate. PIlOliATE NOTICE. QTATE OF MINNESOTA, Count}- ol Henne C? pin—Probftto Court. In the rnfitler of the estate of Catherine Mc» Elroy, (ieeoarfed. On read ins-mid filing the petition ot John McElrov, of Hennepin county, .Minnesota, representing that Citfcerine MeElroy has lately died intefltoie. a resident and inhabitant oi' the countvof Hennepin and State of Minnesota, leaving goods, cliatte.it? and estate v»itbm this county, and praying t.lin f. administration of her estate be ro said petitioner ffi-anted. It is ordered, That, said petition he beard at a frenoml term of this Court, to t-e held at the Court House in the city of Minneapolis, in said county, on Monday, the f5th day of September, 188K, at 10 o'clock in the forenoon and that no tice of .-iich hearing be g-ivon to trii persons in torestod. by publishitss this order at least once in each week for three successive ^veokg prior to said day of hearing, in The Irish Standard, a newspaper printed and published in tsaid county. Dated at Minneapolis this 14th day of JAMES Jr. JOHN B. Q'L'INN, Attorney-at-Law, Minne apolis, Minn. 400 Temple Court DAVID B. .JOHNSON, Att.orney-at-Law, 113 R'otmcirie avenno Minneapolis. Minn. W"Washington ILLIAM KENNY, Actorney-at-Law, 43 avenue s., Minneapolis, Minn. CHRIS- A. GAIiI,AGHEU. JOHIS" H. STEKUJ. QALLAGHER & STEELE, Attorneys and Couuseilors-at-Law, PRACTICE I.N STATU AST) UNIT KO STATES COURTS Room 505 Temple Court, MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. Minneapolis Produce. MiNKE/i.r'Oi-13. July 15. WIU?AT—NO 1 hard at Tile bid Augu3t. No 1 northern 77c bid for Ausrust. CORN'—Sales light 5»@33c, according?, to oon» dition. FLO !JR —Min leapo! is patents, in sacks, to local dealers.S-i 6.)(grt- 70 :for at)ipment in 3,Lets,car lota, pj iti I .arrelK,jf4«'©4 7l ^delivered at New England points. So 10 at New Yorl pointfl, 85 00@5 10: rye tlcur, pure, nominal at $175@8 per 100 ibs, and buckwheat. £4?i5 per bbl. Bit AS—-Held at $7 30©8.00 in bulk. SHORTS—Bulk, 7 (XXAIFFL 00. OATS—No 2 white seilinfr at 34@.36o on track. The range of sample .iaio.s is from 33@ 36C t, 31037C b. RYE—Nominal at 53®55c for Nos 2 and 3. BATtr/KY—Quiet at from 35©60c for Nos 2 and 3 by sample. CORN MKAIV—Coarse, city, 18 00@$1350, deliv ered in lots of a ton or more. MIXED FEED—Good southern "weak at 12 50© 11 OOon track and to arrive city ground. £14 25@ 14 50 for choice, delivered in Jots of a ton or more. HAY—Receipts moderate: market steady and quiet prices steady choicesold at86 (MXMOO fair, steady, g3o0@5 00. OATMBAii—Steel out, $2 35@83 per half bbl. BUTTE it—In job lots: Fancy creamery, 15c extra firsts, 13@14c dairy, fancy,10@12c dairy, second?, 8@10c dairy, thirds, o@7c. packing stock. 4®5c grease. 2@2^c. CHEESE—Fancy full cream. SKC'^Oe One full cream, t'@!)c part skims, 7@8c skims, &5>6c. DRESSED MEATS—'Prices for well dressed: Eeef.hincl qu's.t!i4@8 Hams, city 9® 11 Country dres'd.5 'Hams, country 7® 8 Sides,citydre'd.5 ©S^jBreakfast bacon.. 9@11 Country dre3'i.4J4§:5 .Shoulder? 5® S .Fore quarters..3 @4 Sides Veal, choice... 8 @10 (Mutton, city 4@ Dressed hogs..4^^%'Mutton, country..5@5!4 EGGS—Strictly fresh, 11% to 12c POTATOES-Sweet, .Jersey, bbl, 54.50 new Irish, bbl, ?200 old Irish, 50@60c. VECETAMJES—Offered by dealers:' Cabbage, crate.. $2.00iSpinach, bu 30 Onions.'on §1 25[Lettuce... ...,10@15 Bermudas, bu .. 3-OOiPieplant, lb 1 Onions, doz 10@15 Parsley 30 Dried peas, bu.. 1.25jCucumbers, doz... 30 Horse raaish, lb. 2@3!Peas, bu 1-25 Radishes, doz... 10©15 Beans,bu 1.25 Asparagus, doz. 25 ,, HIDES—Green real kips, S@9c green-salted calf.ll@12c green pelts. 74@1.00 green-salted, lh. 7^@«i4: dry flint, lb. 12®13c: dry-salted, 11© 12c bulls, stags, etc., off green,6^®J7C» Best 50-inch .Pure Turkey Red Damask ever sold by any one from 42 45c,ouly 30 Cents Per Yar per yard, only July, 18S0. By the Court: A. UELANI), Judge of Probate. J. 11. CoitiUGAX, Attorney i\,)r|estiUo.| K. COEUUG-AN, Attorney and Conn sellor-at-Law, 15.0 Hennepin Avenue, Min neapolis, Minn, Opposite City Hall. BYRNES, Attorney and Couuaellor-at Law, 112 Hennepin Avenue, Minneapolis, Minn. CONTINUATION OF THE GREAT SLAUGHTER SALE Pending Arrangements for Alterations at 213 AND 2 IS 'NICOLLET AVE. Another Department Receives a Blow THE BOTTOM KNOCKED COMPLETELY OUT. Terrible Cuts IN Housekeepers' TABLE BAMASKS.i NAPKiNS, NAPKINS TURKEY REDS. I Same quality of tfooris advertised and sold by other dealers at 2-5c only 19 Cents Per Yard. UL. All best qualities Turkey lied Dam asks, sold by no one less than 6^e,only 48 Cents Per Yard. LOOM AND BREAM DAMASKS ALL NO. 1 GOODS! NO TRASH! NO STARCH! But Pure Finished all Linen Goods. FIRST LOT. Washed Damasks, worth from 37per 5 to 85 yard, only 27 Cents. SECOND LOT. All Washed ar.d Cream Damasks,worth from 42 lo 48c per yard, only 35 Cents Per Yard, THIRD LOT. A!.i our Cream Scotch Damasks, never-' sold by miy one less than 56 and 60c 45 Cents Per Yard. FOURTH LOT. All our 65c Cream Damasks to be sold at only 50 Cents Per Yard. FIFTH LOT. All Cream Damasks, worth from 7*3o to 80c per yard, cut to 65 Cents Per Yard. GleacM Oamasks. TOO MANY FINE GOODS. All Bleached Damasks in Iri.-h and Scotch makes, sold by no one 'ees than "5 to 85c. only 65 Cents Per Yard. Our entire stock down to of 90c Bleached Damasks 75 Cents. All "Bleached Damasks selling from SI. 10 to £1.15 per yard, wow only 85 Cents. SPECIAL GREAT BARGAINS! JJS' FINE GOODS. All our extra wide, extra heavy and fine Double Satin Damask, seiiing all over towu at from £lo3 to $1.50 per yard, only $1.15 Per Yard. 72-ineh Double Satin Damasks, sold from 81.65 to j-2.00 per yard- reduced to $1.35 Per Yard. A j$k if lace Curtains and NOTTINGHAM LACE BY THE YARD. All Cut for This Sale. x'Jirll lift This is the best opportunity ever offered the Housekeepers of Minneapolis to secure a supply of Housekeeping Linen, etc., at less than manu facturers' wholesale prices. Ingram, Olson & Co. anywhere. To be closed out at $1.35 Per Dozen. SECOND LOT. Several Odd Lot?, wonh from in one lot, only We will sell the best Loom Dninu.-'lc Towe* in ihe r.inrk^.f it c/iy 10 Cents Each, Tc eicar up several Odd Lots wo shall put in all Oc'id Towels worth from 20c to £5c cacli at only 15 Cents Each. For S0t we will give your choice of *erera'. lots thatno one thinks of selling ier.s than irom 25 to 515c at only 20 Cents Eaolt. All our Finer qualities of Towel v.o be Sold, at Proportionally Low Prices. TURKISH BATH TOWELS. Musi: lr no Id now. iJrofit no eonskUuTifiori. The only object beinsf to move tlif scock. Bed Spreads FIVE GREAT LOIS, I-'IIIST LOT. 10-1 Alari eilies Pattern Crochet Spreads, wo/•!• 80c each, only 65 CENTS. SECOND LOT. All 11-t Marseilles Pattern Crochet Spreads, worth 81.10. only 85 Cents Each. THIRD LOT. All '.-4 Marseilles Pattern Crochet Syn %H$ v'7fj VI iA, fi' p., f. -WM I Dept. FIKST LOT. All B'eaehed Nai-'hin*, worth per doxeir M.75 to S2. A!l: $1.50 Per Dozen, THIRD LOT. Three lots in one, non« oi' which are worthICSK thtm $2.&0, and nniny worth $3 per dozen. Only $2.00 Per Dozen. POIJKTH LOT. The Napkins in Scotch, Irish and German makes, in full double Satin Hsauu$ft. .Arc inarvelously cheap at 88 per dozen, but or this sale we shall make them only 2.50 Per Do^en, The above arc all Ml I Bleaobcd !Kar kins from the looms of tke "best Iriali, and German manufacturers, and the prices named are below trie actual cost of import tion, Our Entire Stock of CUE AM NAPKINS S Extra heavy Double Satin Dumas"*, Tlwt Irish and German makes, wib be ciosed our regard i»s» of o.osi. TOWELS 1 cadEr worth $1.50. Only $1,10 Each. FOURTH LOT. All 11-* Marseilles Pattern Crochet Spreads^ worth from $1,85 to $1.75. Only $1.25 Each. FIFTH LOT. All our 11-4 Genuine Marseilles Spreads, $2 quality. Only „_'t, $1.50 Each. I 7\ *Yi