Milk sells for iM cents a quart in Key
Wfts^FU. Water correspondingly high.
Tbc av.i'Ji ^bo marries a second time
ruri:.c have lived happily ^'it-h Jr.* first
If you aee two women conversing ser
iously, then it's about tlieir neighbor's
A woman isn't fit to have a baby velio
imow Low to hold it, and this as
hue oi a. tongue aft of a baby.
A philosopher remarks that no roan
can afford to make fool, of himself.
But he .forgot that some men are atterl.y
regardless of expense,
Lecturer—"I '.nil pause natil. that.
young man in the back of the hall stops
whispering/' Young man (cordially)—
•'Go right on you are not bothering
The railway companies want to lay
their tracks with hardened sleepers. One
oi' the New Haven ministers says his
congregation has material enough to set
up a whole parallel road.—Now Haven
President—"Dan, has this bill passed
the nenale?"' Lament—'*No: your ex
cellency, that is a milli aero bill, audi.?
yon will rake the advice of a man of ex
perience you will not afrix a veto,"
"I bought a ton oi' coal of you lu»c
month," 'Yes sir." You delivered it
in one curt, didn't you?'' "Yes, of
'Any carts idle now?
yes.,r "Be kind enough to send two
carts around to take away the ashes."
".Father is a blind man always
heavy?" "Don't, ask such ioolisli ques
tions: yoa know very well he is not."
"Well, pap, you know he is generally
led." At this juncture the juvenile of
fender dodged a Hying book.
A nesrro who borrowed money enough
of a Kaieigh merchant to get a marriage
license explained his action by saying
that he had a pretty good-sized cotton
crop, and had heard' that, the farm hands
talked of demanding more wages. He
had therefore looked about, and having
found a healthy widow with three able
bodied children, would marry her next
Sunday and put the children at work on
the farm on Monday.
Now I Go to Bed Rock and Shipwreck the
high prices of offering Clothing Dealers. I will
not only compete with their closest prices they
name, I will discount their closest quotations
and then give one-half off, and do it with square
honest work of my own manufacture. My com
petitors are white with envy. THEIR TRADE
HAS GONE UP THE FLUME. When Harrison
The Tailor cuts prices it is hound to bring con
I gternation, if not create a panic, in the ranks of
the Clothing Dealers. One-half price for Cloth
1 ing during this Great Bale.
"Tins is a very healthy place," ob
served a boarding mistress. "Its—for
chickens/' said a boarder. "I have been
here for two years and haven't seen a
dead one yet." She took the hint.
«I don't pufc much faith in proverbs/'
aai:l Brown to Jones,
Home oiie boldly asserts that tne
American hen is 'joi: uo.uig her duty.
Yon would have as believe that her son S when Mi:--:
is setting,"would yor?
A. laughing philosopher says: "If
Galileo had only stood a champagne wait for him,
supper to Ins judges he would soon have
convinced iliein the world went round.'''
look at the oft-quoted one, 'A freend in
need is a friend indeed.5 Now most of
my experience with friends in need haw
been thai they wanted to borrow.
Give me a friend that is not in need,v'
her riends, not very well off in
r» worldly way, bad brought her
simple but retty gift on her birthday.
"It's oiilr a trifle-." the friend, began,
volatile interrupted her with:
•'Oil, no apologies, I beg. 1 shall value
it jusi as mach as the presents 1 have
received which are really worth some
An old miser engaged a cab. After
driving about, for an hour and a hall, he
called on a friend, telling the driver to
On coming out
that cabby had gone to (deep on the
box. "Poor fellow/' said the miser to
himself, "it would be crue.! to wake
him." And, forgetting to pay. he
The Pocahontas Headlight, a weekly
journal of Virginia, has a new editor,
and he says in his salutory that he does
not "re-enter the- theatre of journalism
as the trembling debutant, dazzled by
the tinsel glitter of pictured scenes, nor
assume its more sacred functions as the
neophyte, whose swinging censer but
deepens the awful mysteries of the
A student said to a distinguished la-w
yer one day.* "X cannot understand
how circumstantial evidence can be
stronger thau positive testimony/' "T.
will illustrate it," said the lawyer. "My
milkman brings me a can of milk and
ays: 'Sir, I know that is pnre milk,
"Well, for drew it from the cow, wa.shed the
can thoroughly, Btrained it into the can,
and. nobody else has handled it.
when I take the cover from, the can, out
leaps a bull frog. Surely the frog is
stronger evidence- than the man!"
Longevity is a good thing, though I
have known public men to overdo it. To
die at the proper moment and leave a
good impression on history is one of the
lost arts. To flicker out of life with the
applause of a great people ringing in
the ears |is a good thing but the man
Avho is born of a woman, and the ma
jority of them are that way, are too
prone to linger on this side of eternity
until they have done some little thing
that is never properly explained on
their tombstones.—Bill Nye.
I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
THE TAILOR, 42
BE SURE TOU START RIGHT.
Br asking for ticket* via this line. For maps,
oi'rcviiara, folders, or other iut'ormgtion not ob
tainable at your local Ticket office, apply to
F. N. FiNHEY, JAMEB BARKER,
General Manager. Gen. Pass. Ag-'t,
F. H. ANSON,
Noi-tbwe3tem Passenger Agrer.r, Minneapolis,
For tickets! to Europe call at No. 19 Nicollet
House Block. Central Steamship -Agency.
Lowest rates Best lines!
4: THE IRISH STANDARD: SATURDAY, JULY 24 1886. KV'.f,*-'-
Throw the Gauntlet Into the Arena!
CHALLENGE THE WORLD
BUYS $2.00 WORTH
This Great One- Half
IT MATTERS NOT PARTIAL LIST
Where You Go
MIXED STATES MAIL
EOTJTS A'ND SHOET U.3JE
Constructed and equipped in the Triost perfect
manusr, ensnrinj? safety, con.fort, convenience
ami apoetf. 11 tritvftrses tho most important
portion of Wisconsin, mirhiug with its imme
diate oonuectioas, nearkifi: every to«n awl city
ii tli' Stare. Located oii its main !Jue arc the
Milwaukee. Fonddu Lac, Osiikosh
KEEN'A IT, MEN'ASH A,
STEVENS PGiNT,CHIPPEWA FAILS
Ke-w Richmond, St. Paul,
MINNEAPOLIS AND ASHLAND.
Its trains start from Union Depots in Chi
cago, Milwaukee and St. Paul, and its equip
ment consists of new and itiayniftcent palace
sleeping' and parlor ears, and elegant day
coaches. Superior facilities make it the best
route to and from the Esist, West, North ov
Wheat—No1bardat Ifc' jCbid August.
No 1. northern "7e bid 1'or August.
Cobx—Sales light [email protected], according- to con
Fr.ouH—Minneapolis patents,in sacka, to .local
dealers,$4 TO :f or shipment in sacks,car lots.
$-i 30%-j 10 barrels,7s) delivered fit New
Enserland. points. §[email protected] 30 at New York points,
S5 [email protected] 10 rye llcur, pure, nominal [email protected]
ner 100lbs. and buckwheat, £-i®5 per bbl.
Buas—Held at $9 in bulk.
Shokts—Bulk. 9 00^§i000.
OATS—No 2 white sellias- at [email protected]!4c on
track. The range of sample sales is from [email protected]
S7e t, 84#88e fob.
Rye—Nominal for Nos 3 and 8.
at from for Nos 2 and 8
Corn meai.—Coarse, city, 13 flOCa^lS 50, deliT
ered in lots of a ton or more.
Mixko feed—Good sou them weak at 13 [email protected]
track and to arrive city gTound. $15 [email protected]
15 50 for choice, delivered in lots of a ton or
Has*—Receipts moderate market steady and
quiet prices steady choieesold atS. [email protected]()0
fair, steady, [email protected] 00.
Oatmkaj-Steel out, $2 [email protected] per half bbl.
Bcttkr—In job lots: Fancy creamery, 15c
extra firsts, [email protected]: dairy, [email protected] dairy,
seconds. [email protected] dairy, thirds, [email protected] packing:
stock. !35c grease, [email protected]
Cheese—Fancv fnli cream, [email protected]: fine full
cream. S®9c: part skims, [email protected] skims,-K®6c.
pirirssRU v.ats—l^rices for well dressed:
Eeet.biud ju s.8!-s?l8 |Hams, city [email protected]
Countrv dres'd.5 @0 Hams, country 75.8
Sides,citydre'd.5 (5)3%\Breakfast bacon-. [email protected]
Country drea'dX^fiiS |Shoulders [email protected]
Fore quarters..3 @4 iSides
Veal, choice 8 @10 Mutton, oty [email protected] 5
Dressed hogs..Mutton, country..u§*5!«2
Eggs—Strictly fresh, li!/2 to 12c
Vkgktabi.es—Offered by dealers:
Cabbage, crate.. S2.00 Spinach, bu ,3?
Onions, bu ?1 25 Lettuce... .....,10®lo
Bermudas, bu.. 3.00
Onions, doz [email protected]
Dried peas, bu.. 1-35
Horse radish, lb. [email protected]
Radishes, doz... 10&15
Asparatrus, doz. 25
312 Hennepin Avenue,
Lot between Twenty-ninth and Thirtieth, oa
Harriet avenue only S1.250.
Six Jots on Aldrieb avenue south, oetwoen
Thirty-second and Thiriy-third streers, full
size: only $050 each.
1 iot, east front, corner Lyndale avenue and
Thirty-second street $1,050.
1 lot on Pleasant avenue, between Thirty-first
and Thirty-second streets south,
foot lot on Nicollet avenue, be
tween Twenty-fifth, and Twenty-sisthistreets,
Fine lot ou Kidgewood avenue, 100x217, for
82«/i feet on Oak Giwe street at §125 per
2 lots on Fourth avenue south and Twenty
ninth street, at $1,250 each.
3 25-foot lots on Thirteenth avenue south and
Thirty-fifth streets, east fronts, on corner. S800.
?. east front 55-foot lots, corner Twtnty-third
avenue north andSixtn street only S1,000.
S lots on Park avenue, between Thirty-fifth,
and Thirty-sixth etreet each $1,000.
1 lot corner Twenty-ninth street and Portland
avenue, east fcoht. Price, fti,500.
I lot on Portland avenue, between Twenty
ninth andThirtieth. Price $1,800.
1 lot 00 feet front, in Lake of Isles addition, on
Franklin avenue: only $1,500.
2 lots on Aldrieh avenue, between Twenty
fourth and Twenty-fifth streets south, -$1,500
1 lot comer Twenty-sixth street and Eigh
teenth avenue south lot 53x127, only $1,500
.1. fine oast front lot in Monroe Bros', addition,
1 lot on Clinton avenue, between Eighteenth
and Nineteenth streets, $5,000.
93 feet, east side Mary Place, at $105 per front
One eO foot lot on Aldrich avenue, between
Fifth and Sixth avenues north. $2,500.
5 lots, e&H front, on Fourteenth avenue
south, between Twenty-sixth and Twenty-sev
enth streets, ¥1,150 each-
lots on Second avenue south, between
Thirty-tifth and Thirty-sixth streets, for $1,100.
2 lots corner Fortieth and Fourth avenue
south, $375 each.
2 lots, between Twenty-first and Twenty-sec
ond, on Tenth avenue south each $'1,800.
For sale cheap or exchange for City
Prouerty. Houses and lots
SOLD FOR SMALL PAYMENTS
DOWN, BALANCE MONTHLY.
That will Arrest the Attention of Everybody.
$28.00 Men's Suits Selling for $11.00
1 0 0 0
One-half price for all Ready-Made Clothing. I
Practical Well and
Wholesale Dealer in
Cowing & Gleason
Wo. 506 and 508 Second Street South, MINNEAPOLIS, MINN
-wmmssm GrO TO mbhssmm-
The Popular Artist of Washington
CABINETS PER DOZEN.
O. C. BURDICK,
No. 301 Washington Avenue South,
•McCarthy & Courtney
j. F. McCarthy, —dealers
1/ A iVrt
NORTHWESTERN MARBLE WORKS.
Manufacturer aud Dealer in
Gravestones, Cemetery Posts, Etc.
First Avenue South, Bet. 3d and 4th Streets, Minneapolis.--
MILL AND MACHINE BLACKSMITH.
Bridge Bolts, Truss Rods, .Drilled Well Tools,
WXtOUGMT XBOST MATERIAL- POIl BCILjyi:XGS«
All Ends of Iron and Steel Forging,
SHEETD-TG CAJJS ALWAYS OK HAND.
AND IRON PIPES.
Srass Goods aad Plumbers' Supplies,
109 Central Ave., Minneapolis.
TELEPHONE CALL, 83-8.
Je P. Courtney
Steam ana Gas Fit
I ft -Sgfc-t1
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