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-fesi I VJ I fif •&fAl "STAHDAED" BREVITIES, "I'll just give you a few pointB," re marked a paper of pins as the man sat *n it. .•-••• A heavy exchange asks: "What are we to do with Turkey?" That will be all settled before Thanksgiving day. Another elopement has 'sprung from church choir rehearsals. The ladies can't be too careful about chants ac quaintances. The man who would write a thorough ly English novel and lay the-scenes in New York would make his everlasting fortune. ••1 know what the nights of labor are." said the mother of six boys as she sat down to repair a pile of trousers and jackets. Men who cannot imagine what an earthquake shock is like can form a slight opinion by treading on the trail of a quick tempered woman. Wiggins says L.e had''something to do with the earthquake," People re gret thai the earthquake didn't have something to do with him. A young fisherman has just landed a speckled beauty, so he writes. We imag ine from the tone of his letter that ha has married a freckled girl. Our Yankee soldiers could not cap ture Charleatown before the war, but they have done it now. It is a city that had to be shaken before taken. A young man on South ISTinth street has fitted up an accordion to run by steam, and his neighbors are now collecting a dynamite fund for liis bene fit. A gentleman enters a drug store and •winks at one of the clerks several times. 1I beg pardon, "gsaiujjthe clerk, '\I?m somewhat ne at this business. Would you please repeat it?" Another accident from a misplaced switch. The "switch" was placed on a chair with the points of several hairpins pointing upward. "The cries of the wounded were agonizing to listen to." Pyofepfjoy At water is to write a series of articles c» the "Pood Question" j'or The Century Magazine, II there's any thing iu a name, the professor should be more at home in writing on the drink (juestiotf. Things One Would Rather Have Left Uusaid—She: "And you are really bet ter, professor, since you came to live in Hampstead?-'' He:' 'Oh yes, a different man altogether." She: "How pleased all your friends will be." "Where have you been all the morn ing'''' inquired a merchant of one of his traveling men. "Been shaking for the cigars with my brother." "Oh! YsThb got slucli "I did every time. I never before realized the force of the express ion 'stickefch closer than a brother/ "A Pittsburg man advertised for a cook and received this note from a citizen of Alleghany "Dear Sir: I have seen your advertisement for cook for three days in the papers. When you get what you want, please send the rest of the girls to me. as I don't care to advertise." An editor on a Kentucky paper lateJy sat down to play draw poker, and kept at it until he lost all his money, and then began to stake hie clothes. When he concluded to go to his office, he skipped through the streets at a iarfnl pace. His next editorial was on a "Nude Departure." A Pifctsbnrger has taken out a patent for a machine to crimp flour bags. We are glad to see a taste of art spreading. Flour bags have been entirely too plain. Now they will look gay crimped ard alter a while perhaps they could be cut bias or shirred down the front or otherwise beautified. Whether early rising promotes loug is problematical, but certainly late hours shorten it. No one should re quire to be waked regulorly. There is something wrong if a man has to be aroused day after day for weeks ^ogeth and told that he has "slept enough"— as he is invariably told, in the facc of he positive evidence to the contrary, at he would sleep longer if left alone. A young man in this city made up his mind to be a journalist, and the editor sent him to report a lecture. The journ alist took the notes—took them out of the lecturer's hat when that gantleman wasn't looking. He had a full report of the lecture in the paper the next morning but when the editor learned •that the lecture had not been delivered on account of the lecturer losing his ^.4 MS., he told that youth that lie had die played altogether too much enterprise 'at'the start., That youth was not to be 4 nipped in the bud, however, for he is editing a newspaper stand at the West Arizona -Joe, an alleged actor, who is to prevent heartless evictions. At that playing an engagement at a Louisville theatre, will have cause to remember Iu3 visit there. He was attacked aud severely bitten by a bulldog while tak ing an eveniug walk yesterday. No time is attached to the dog he simply aw a big ham before him aad naturally reached for it. .r T? 'm THE MICHAEL DAVITTS SPEECH. (Continued from first page.) home to the conviction of Englishmen the justice of the Home Rule causa by showing that on every possible occa sion that it was to the injury of them selves and to the injury of the British leaders to postpone the final set tlement of the Irish question. Now the English demociacy and the people of Scotlaud and Wales see the necess ity as clearly as we do of a radical change in the legislative system of the British empire. Not only do Scot land and Wales stand by us in our demand ior Home Rule in Ireland, but they, are now voicing a similar demand for themselves. Scotchmen have learned from us how to agitate not only against landlordism, but against Westminster legislation, and a pow erful organization has recently come into existence in North 13ritain which has for its object a Scottish par liament for Scottish affairs. This is real ly where our land league movement has scored its greates, success. We have tried to put the policy of retaliation one side &ud to try and convince the majority of the British people that we must have Home Rule whether they like it or not and that it is their best policy to concede it in the most grace ful manner. Then again, in Ireland, poor and dis pisedas the Irish tenant farmer is, he has fought the battle during the last' seven years which not only gives him tbe right to till the soil oc Ireland with out having to support an idle landlord, but he has won the sympathy of tillers of the soil in England, Wales and Scotlaud. It is this line of action of the Irish leaders which paved the way to Mr. Gladstone's partial success in his first attempt to solve the Irish diffi culty. By this means we have suc ceeded in reducing the contest for Irish liberty to one between THE CLASSES AND THE MAjSfjjSS of Great Britain, .instead of its being that as of old between the people of Xj\e Jand and Britain. By the unscrupu lous jðocls to which I have alluded, the ylMyites have for a time held the reins of power, The tide of Republi can ideas is rising rapidly against the territorial conservative party in Great Britain, and 33,000,000 people of G«eat Britain, are getting tired of titled aris tocracy, They are not now the ignor ant, dumb-driven cattle they ^vere a generation ago. Th£ French idea has recently been extended to them, and they know that if they only ojrprii^e their strength, they can, in a few Bliort years return party to Westminster, abolish the House of Lords and win for their country a government of the people, for the people and by the peo ple. (Applause.) This change in Eng lish feeling, that is in the feeling of the workers of England, is due to two causes. Eirst, to the land league of Ireland during the last seven years, and second to the magnificent example this country has set the world of economic government side by side with the fullest possible civil and poli tical liberty, and in bringing about, or in helping to bring about such a re markable change., we have not only made certain the success of the cause of self-government for Ireland, but we have doue a good deal towards dealing a deadly blow to that aristocratic rule which has been directly responsible for all the crimes committed against Ire land in pi^t generations. I think that the reign of Lord Randolph Churchill and his party will be very short unless he presently becomes convinced of the justice of Home Rule as Mr. Gladstone became convinced five years ago. Re cently he succeeded in defeating a measure which Mr. Famcl 1 introduced into the House of Commons to stay evictions in Ireland during the coming winter peuding the inquiry by the gov ernment into the condition of the Irish tenant farmers. I think that a similar step was taken by the House of Com mons in 1S81 to pay arrears of rent in certain case3 oat of certain Irish funds •time Lord Churchill was the leader of a party of four members in Westminster, and supported the Irish representatives in carrying it through. But now,when Mr. Parnell proposes that any loss to be sustained shall come out of the pockets of Irish landlords, rather than out of government funds, the landlord Tory party, with the aid of Chamber lain, succeeded in rejecting the Irish leader's measure. Notwithstanding the defeat of this effort of Mr. Parnell, the Irish landlords have been compelled, during the last month to give as sub stantial a reduction of rent as Mr. Parnell hoped to obtain by the measure which was defeated in the House of Commons. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the present outlook of the Home Rule cause. Tbe Irish question is no longer the uncertain issue it was ten years ago. It has become the main issue be tween two great English parties one half the English people are fighting the other half for the sake of Ireland to-day. In America 50,000,000 people are looking on this great Irish struggle and continental opinion has been voiced on this side of Ireland. More reverses may yet be in store for us, so tribulation may yet have to try the pa tience and fortitude of a long suffering people but just as sure as to-morrrow's sun will rise in the heavens in obed ience to nature's unerring law, so will a self-government of Ireland arise STANDARD TRTSTT 1 from even a few short years, to bless with peace and plenty a long oppressed country, and to restore to it tbe patri mony and privilege, tbs right and rec ognition of a nation. (Applause.) JUSTIN JIcOABTHY. To most men Fortune (fronts siugle boon, And looks upon her kindly task as done. Since, by such wen 1th, the prrzecrf lrfeds won And Fame's bright gurland eometh late or soon. But here is one whose happier lot faath known A fourfold gift, to make his 1 el Iowa rich In thougnt aud deed strung to high Honor's pitch For he to Fancy's fairy realm hath flown, And won hid knighthood he hath plucked the truth From History's masking, and laid bare her face Renown hath found him in the Statesman's place The Patriot's heart is his in age as youth Choose for his wreath—and bid the emblem stand— The loui-leafed Shamrock of his native land! —MARY E. BLAKE, in Boston Pilot. In Memoriaia. At a late meeting of the Crusaders' society in. St. Anthony of Padua par ish the following resolutions were adopted to the memory of their de ceased brother, Patrick McDonough: WHEREAS, Almighty God in His infinite wis dom has removed from our midst a member of our society, our esteemed and beloved brother, Patrick Donough and WHEREAS, The intimate relations held by him as a member of this society while he was a member, make it fitting that we record our ap preciation of hiui therefore liKSOLVEO. .'hue the wisdom and ability which he bus everted in aid of our society works by his counsel and services will be held in ft-rateful remembrance by this society. RESOLVE n, That the sudden removal of such a member from oar society and a loving father from his little family, in both ot' which he WHS highly esteemed (aud who WHS more than ten years a members of our society) leaves a va cancy and shadow that will bo deeply realized by all members of the society audits friends an will prove a grievous loss to his family and to this society. RESOLVED, That while deeply sympathizing .with the afflicted family and friends of the tie* .Ceased, wo express an earnest hope that even gi\ent bereavement, maybe their guiding- star »o (j Jiappy futuie. RKSGJ^'BD, That these resolutions bo pub lished iu TUB fjjtfsn STANDAKD and that a copy of the same \}Q gent to the family of our de ceased brother. DANIEL G-B'TCHELI., THOMAS MULOAJIV, PATRICK (TAJIVEY. Committee on Resolutions. The dreesed meat- concern at Miles City, Mont., has gone under. Shaw, Goding & Co. 'a shoe factory at, Portland, Me., burned loss $55,000. The Walker Horseshoe company's works bur«ed at Baltimore loss $35, OOiX STEMS OF INTEREST. —The largest hotel in the world—at Rockaway Beach stood vacant the past season. —According to the laws of Ohio boy cotting and blackmailing are synony mous terms. —There are only ten pensioners on the rolls who have lost a leg at the lap joint—Washington Post. —The worriment a Jersey City man indulged in over his defeat for an offioe he was striving for has ended in caus ing him to lose his reason, and he was gent to an insane hospital.—JV. lr. Sun. —San Francisco has a Woman's La dor Union. It was incorporated for the purpose of manufacturing wearing apparel, establishing laundries, eating houses, restaurants and reading-rooms.. —San Francisco Chronicle, —Many explosions in flouring mills are said to have been caused by elec tricity generated by belts. Even ordi nary belts are found to generate suffi ciently strong currents to perform the common experiments for which elec trical machines are used.—Prairie Farmer. —A big black cat and a big black bat battled for three hours in the Kansas City post-office before the cat succeeds ed in killing the bat. The bat's tac tics were to get on the cat's back and chew his ear and the cat's were to run under a desk and scrape off the bat, and then renew the conflict. —Klanat, an Indian chief in Alaska, held a mountain pass through which travelers had to go on the way to the new mines on the River Yukon. He mad® all pay tribute, and on Arch bishop Seghers expostulating on being taxed a double sum he laid violent hands on him and robbed him of all he had. This led to Klanat's suppression by the U-ited States authorities. —A barber at the Point belongs to the fire department, and when an, alarm rang last week he dropped every thing and rushed after the hose carriage, leaving a half-shaved cus tomer in the chair. A neighboring druggist, with a charitable heart, gen erously took up the work where the barber left off, finished the task and sent the customer on his way rejoio- ing.—Charleatown (Mass.) Enterprise. —During a railroad excursion from. Lafayette, Ind., to Dayton, O., the other day, the train was stopped as it crossed the State line, and David. Clark, alighting, stood in Indiana,, and Mrs. Mary Hawkins stood in Ohio, and a minister who was present1 straddled the line and married them, and then the eight hundred excursion ists surrounded the pair and gave them three cheers while the- band played.—Cktcctgo Herald. j'-.i **!&< SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6 1886. JAPAN. A Silly Country "Which Has Developed Peculiar Type of Agriculture. •Japan throughout is very hilly, Fuji* Tama (13,500 feet) being the highest mountain. This mountain is of great .moment to the Japanese, and reap pears continually in their art, though great liberty is taken with its surround ings: Sometimes it appears as if rising out of the sea again it is put in a small lake, and again its true fringe of lesser hills is seen about it. It is to the Japanese a sacred object, and when seen seventy miles away as the sun is setting behind it, so beautiful is the picture that we hardly wonder at the worship given it. This hilly character stamps at once the type of agriculture. Japan has no huge farms, no large fields. All cultivation i3 in small patches. Not a single plot'did we see containing more than an eighth of an acre, and most were too small for a lawn-tennis court. This again prevents the use of oxen or horses for farming, and so brings into prominence the great peculiarity of Japan, that near ly all labor is done by men, and even where oxen or horses are employed as beasts of bur den, loads are not drawn in carts or wagons, but carried upon the backs. The national vehicle is the "jini rik shaw," drawn by one or two men—a little buggy on two wheels, whose very name signifies "man-power carriage, The streets of the town are watered from carts drawn by men, and the sidewalks from buckets with perforated bottoms carried on coolies' shoulders, All produce is brought to market loaded on the backs of either men or cattle. Most of the roads are only from four to eight feet wide, and, flanked by ditches, do not admit wide wagons drawn by horses. Still nowhere in the West is farming (or gardening) more' carefully and thoroughly done. The utmost capacity of the ground is reached, while as much is returned in the shape of fertilizers as is taken away, so that the soil is ever rich. Three or four crops are gathered from one piece of ground in one year. Every thing is planted in rows, and while one crop is maturing, a second is started between the rows of the first, so that between the rows of a wheat-field there may b& a crop of to matoes or turnips or greens coming on. The sides of very steep mountains are utilized by terraces, and the enormous amount of woi-k ex pended in this way proves how long Japan has been under cultivation. Irrigation is practiced with most rigid economy. Each terrace is en closed with a small earth bank, four to six inches high, so that all rain caughi is prevented from draining off until the depth of the bank is reached. All over this amount runs off upon the next ter race below, and as terrace is below ter race, each one waters the one below, and thus a given amount of water will irrigate a large surface. and submit to a process of vigorous thumping, rubbing and kneading. Jini rikshaw men, especially, employ them after a hard day's work, believing that this treatment is a sure preventive of soreness. Foreigners sometimes call them in, and speak highly of the re sults.—Cor. 2?. Y. Post. Queer Facts and Figures. Commercial Statistics* An Anstin merchant, as a personal favor, took the son of a .wealthy gen tleman into his office to learn the busi ness, giving him the cash book to keep. "Does the cash account balanceP" asked the merchant, at the end of the first day. "Q, yes, splendidly. There are even forty or .fifty dollars too much."— Texas StfLtna*. 24 A pleasing feature in Japan is tht absence of beggars. Only three or four times have we been asked for money, and then by women with babies on their backs. Biind men are very nu merous, most of them self-mutilated, having given their sight as an offer ing to some of their doities. They earn their living by a sort of massage. They go.through the streets toward the close jmother's grave?'' of the day and through the evening '.^jjshe? Weil, don't you bet any blowing a shrill whistle. Those who |money on it! About one of the first desire the services of these men call ,questions she asked me was what the them in, divest themselves of clothing, jgraye-stone cost, and how often pop iwent up, and when I told her she If there were any soundness in the "Boea -r stated to, be pute, and who is certainly an trious compiler of figures, the English people can no longer boast to be, or be jeered at as being, the gz'eatest beef-eaters in the world. According to the economist's computation, the annual consumption of beef in Europe amounts to 45 pounds per head of the population in a year. The Austra lians consume 150 pounds a man and the Americans 130 pounds, while the other great continent of Argentine (from which Mr. Lamas hails) eats level with Australia, At this rate there must be a very great number of people in the world who get along without eating beef at all. But the calculations are based on one which is1 yet more extraordinary—namely, that on the whole globe the total head of cattle is forty-seven millions and a half, or about an ox and a half for ev ery one in Great Britain and none at all for anybody else. Still, facts are facts and figures are figures.—St. James' Gazette. A~3$. HIS STEP-MOTHER. What a Considerate and Thoughtful Boy Said About His Father's Second Wife. "How's my mother?" he slowly an« swered. "She was purty well half an hour ago, when we had a little argu ment in the back yard and she pitched the clothes-bars at me." "Iunderstand," said the other boy, as he wearily sat down on the curb-stone and reached out for a straw to break in pieees in his fingers, "that she's sec ond-hand." "Exactly. She was a widow when pop married her, and I guess she looked upon it as her last chance. That's what we were arguing about this morning, and that's why she got mad." "Do you call her mother?" "I did up to yesterday. She agreed to give me fifty cents a week to call her mother around the house when pop was home, and two shillings more every time I called her ma before the neighbors. She paid up all right the first week, but defaulted on the second, and I'm now addressing her as stran ger. I do business on a cash basis, I do, and when the cash stops the ma business comes to a dead stand-still." "That's perfectly right. Do they spoon much?" "Lots. Guess pop thought it was his last chance, too, the way ho acts. Say, Jim, it's awfully tiresome for a boy to be around where so much spoon ing is going on. It is kinder tarn in' my stomach ag'in vittles, and I feel weary all over." "Must have struck you purty sud den?" "Y-e-s, it did. Pop and me and his sister had been keeping house alone for seven years, when one day he drove up with this second-hand person in a hack and told me to kiss my new ma." "And did you?"* "Naw! Made a climb for the back fence, and didn't go home till the po lice threatened to send me to the reform school." "How did your aunt take it?" "It was rich. Them women ena« braced and kissed at two o'clock p. m„ standard time. At three my auut was out of the house, bags, bundles and old. umbrellas, and the stranger had full possession. I wasn't there to see it, but the neighbors laughed until their sides ached. 1 guess my aunt is run ning yet, for we haven't heard from her." "Do you s'pose this—this second ihand edition will go up to see your (kicked the cat across the kitchen and Ibi-oke a lamp chimney with her elbow. |Next day I heard her saying to pop Ithat she'd just like to see a husband of jher's fooling away his time in a grave jyard. If she and pop ever do go up I there, and pop so far forgets the sifcua !tion as to heaye a sigh, she^li mop him over a hull acre of graves she 8® 1 statistics of Mr. P. S. Lamas, who j3 ''.after you are asleep? an economist of great re- I "She throuSh W. W. McCLUSKET'S Merchant Tailoring Parlors. Foreign and Domestic.Woollens Constantly on Hand I* Prices Reasonable and Satisfaction Guaranteed 316 NICOLLET AVENUE, UPSTAIRS, MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA. INNEAPOLIS PROVISION COMPANY Beef and Pork Packers and Genera! Provision Dealers, WHOLESALE AJN'D KETAIL. .Market men, wholesale and retail grocers, hotel, family and lumber camp supplies mtd 26 South First Street, MINNJEAJPOLI8, MINN, Ton* Pockate 80t oufc to b^JI indus- 're(i FePPer fle& f3 ar)d slie didn't get her eyes opened till next day noon. Since then we treat each other with coldness." Press. at the cobble then Jim The two sat looking stones for a long time, and suddenly rose up and said: "I know what I'm going to do." "What?" "I'm going to be gooder to my own mother than ever before. I've got two cents, and I'm going to take her home Trying to Get Miss Brown. telegraph operator in Milwaukee was one day trying to call up an office in a small town in the interior of the State, where the instrument was pre sided over by a woman. He was about giving up in despair when the operator in another small town a few miles distant from the first ticked out the query: "What in Heaven's name do you want?" "I want Miss Brown at Burgville," replied the Milwaukee man. "I have been trying to get her for the last half hoar.". "That is nothing," came the reply. ••There is a young fellow clerking in a iry-goods store there who has been toying to get her for the last three fears, and he has not succeeded yet. Do not get discouraged."—Chicago BmnMtr. OCEAN PASSAGE. Once More Only £2 10s. If You Intend to Spend Christmas I TH E OLD COUNTRY Cail at our passage now, office before up. ind tbe secure price your goes- DRAFTS £1 A. E JOHNSON & Co. FOR AND UPWARDS, 83r*FKEE OF CHARGE. General Northwestern Agents, Corner Third and Sibley Streets sr. PAUL, MINN. Seethatthe Name IN YOUR HAT. Hip® llbliip I#*''* Sty le, Quality mid Fit Guar anteed. E So TZ- The Old Time Hatters and Practical Working Furriers, 248 NICOLLET A.VENVB, MINNEAPOLIS. P. J. D0N0H0E, Contractor BuiUlM Plan?! and Specifications Furnished for all Class of Buildings. Shop on Nicollet Island. Alteration sand Eepairs Promptly Executed. Minneapolis Produce, MINNEAPOLIS, Nov.5. V/HEA T—No1hardat 72e i1 Nov. No 1 northern 70c told for Nov. Cows—Sales light 36®88c, according to con dition. Fi,ouu—Minneapolis patents, in sacks, to local S4 wJi\ tr rye fK.ur, pirn:,nominal at 7G@2 per 100 lbs, and buckwheat. per bbl. BKAN—Held at 7.50(&8 00 in ulk. SJIOKTS—Bulk, 7 50@$0 25. OATS—NO 2 white selling at 21@2Gc o» track. The range of sample-sales ifi from 23® 2Ge ot. RYE—Nominalat 42@45c for Nos 2 and 3. BA?.IjEY—Quiet at from 40®4Cc for No?. 2 and by sa in ole. CORH MEA.'U—Course, city, 14 00©$I4 o0, deliv ered in lots of a ton or mom. Mixed FEED—Good southern quiet at 14 00 15 75 on track and to arrive city jrround. §15 00® 16 25 for choice, delivered in lots of a ton or more. HAY—Receipts moderate market steady ana quiet prices steady choice sold at 87 75©S00 fair,steedy, $4 00@6 00. OATWiEA —Steel cut, $2 35gi83 per half tbl. BDTTER—-In job lots: Fancy creamery, 25c extra firsts, 16@18c dairy, fancy,20®.^2c dairy* seconds. 14@lfc dairy, thirds. fc(®9e. packing stock, KSjoc: grease. 2@2Mc. DRESSKD MEATS—Prices for •WELL areased: Beef .hind qu's. HVi&i |Hains, eity 9@11 Country dies'd.5 @6 -Hams, country 7@ 8 Sides,citydre'd.5 @6% I Breakfast bacon.. 9&>J1 Country dres'd.4^J©5 Shoulders 5® 6 Pore quarters..8 @4 iS'des Veal, choice... 8 @10 iMutton, city 4@ 5 dressed hog«..4}4@5 I Mutton, country.. 5©5}ii EGGS—Strictly fresh, 18 to 19c. CHEESE—Fancy fnti cream, 9@10C fine full cream, 8@9c part skims, 7@8c skims, a@6o. VEGETABLES—Offeredby dealers: Cabbage, doz 25@60 Spinach, bu Onions, bu 80@90 Lettuce. Bermudas, bu. Onions, doz Dried peas, bu.. Horse raaish, lb. Kadisbes, doz... 3.00 Pieplant, lb Parsley.....—i.-. Cucumbers, doz.. Peas,bu...... Beans, bu..... l".26 2@3 (A flb@l'.40 k, ****&• 4Av»«V