The Irish standard. [volume], November 13, 1886, Image 8

About The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
r|?vP?ft.
Wtl#v
6
!i
li
§M
is
1 1
mi^
u*
ij-f ()4y.
3.1 «, 1
STANDARD" BREVITIES.
Most women are clothes observers.
The round trip—Circumnavigating.
the globe.
A fee simple
aide your plate.
Laying a quarter be-
short
'life is short, but it isn't half so
Borne
men are all through life.
Motto for a chicken thief—Never
•omit your chickens before they are
snatched.
There •would not be so many long
iserraons if men were obliged to prac
tice what, they preach.
A (5incmuati pork dealer has had ins
eaveor written up. It is in the form of
buy-hog-raphy.
A girl, speaking of a certain youth,
•ays that the only thing about him that
iwi't fresh are bis tears.
The girls will be pleased with a uni
form marriage law if the uniform is
jwetty and there is a man in it.
"Our club is iu a nourishing condi
tion," remarked a correapoiidtmfc.
Please don't come this way with it.
There is very lit,tie independence to
found iu this world. Even Deer
J»itmd is crowded with time-servers.
Did you ever see a man with a dia
mond collar button who did not think,
tfeat neckties were going out oi fashion.
"There is something I have just
£**hod off," said the poet, as hei
knocked his vroxild-bo son-in-law of!' the
door step.
"Always aim higher than the mark/'
says a philosopher. If there is a straw
berry mark on her chin this is good ad
vice.
A aew poem commences with the line,
S1
wish to die away from home." It
sounds as if it might be rough on rats,
bat it isn't.
At Waterloo, Iowa, they have a cu
cumber on exhibition that is four feet
long. Properly applied it would make
a doctor rich.
Nileoxi's wedding was postponed at
tiie last minute. Probably the Count
Case de Miranda didn't Inive a good
•lay with the organ.
Why is a baby fed from ten to a dozen
times a day? Because babies should be
filled up whenever they show any symp
toms of "hollerness.1'
The King of CJorea has ordered some
lamps for his dinner table at $75 each,
from New York. Evidently a light re
past is expensive i.u Gorea.
Kosa Bonheur proposes to -paint three
typical American horses. We recom
mend her to notice the saw horse, the
«lotiies-horse and the chirk horse.
The boy who quails at the sight of a
jam staid plaster, is the same lad that
goes fearlessly forth to tackle a bee's
xiest with a handful of willow switches.
First- minister:11Just think of it, they
gave me but §20 for my sermon/' Sec
ond minister: '"'Why, I wouldn't have
preached that sermon of yours for SI00.
The mummy of Barneses III., recent
ly exhumed near Cairo, was found to be
bald-headed. Matrimony was evident
ly indulged in by the ancient Egypt
ians.
"I've been digging for water to the
depth of fourteen or fifteen feet, but I
don't seem to get along.1" "Well, dig
forty or fifty leet and you'll have a long
well."
"Yes," bawled a social orator. "I
j»j.uin favor of the early closing move
ment- for the great- mass of toilers.''
"Well, shut up, now,''yelled a practi
cal auditor on the door.
There is a difference in things ra dif
ferent placeB. Here they say it takes
Bine tailors to make a man, while in
Tennessee they are trying to make a
governor out of two of them.
Said a young doctor to a lady pa
tient "You must take exercise for your
health, my dea .': "All right," she
said, "Hi juiup at the lirst offer."
They were married in about six mouths.
They call it a romantic marriage iu
Minnesota when a couple of the neigh
bors gets the bride's father iu a back
room and sit on him to prevent his in
terrupting and breaking up the wed
ding.
Papers that favor putting telegraph
wires underground imagine that they
are getting off something new when
they head an article "The Poles Must
Go." The Czar of Russia originated
that many years ago.
Dr Gimlet returns empty handed
from a day's hunting, and. in response
4o his wife'sinquiries, candidly confesses
"that he killed nothing.i "Why," retorts
Mrs. G. alowly, "You could have done
better than that had you stayed at home
attended to your_xegular business.
cene
"Irery lassie lu* her laddie,'
!*PoTThi»per worde of love—
B«4«vei7lassie has 4addy
fcll9ak
th# frier afc«?»i
ff.&t'H'V* kaeek tk« floor afc«t»l
1
A
GENERAL LABOR NEWS.
Nomination of Typographical Union Officers,
The following were put in nomina
tion for the various offices Sunday,
Nov. 7, at the meeting of the Minne
apolis Typographical Union. The
election will occur the first Sunday in
December: President, Frank Hoover,
W..M. Shreiner vice-president, Cbas,
Hills, A. E. LeRoy. D. R. Getcheli
recording ahd corresponding secretary,
G. W. Morey, Andrew Henderson
financial secretary. J. W. Hays: trea
surer, Harry Holcomb, Emma flick
inger sergeant-at-arms, J. P. Hinkel
door-keeper, E. li Hyland, Georee
Anderson. A grand ball will be given
for the benefit of the union Thanksgiv
ing Eve.
Printers Who Have Eisen.
The printing office has given America
some of its most honored and brilliant
self-made men. It is the school from
which Benjamin Franklin, the discov
erer of the electric current, graduated.
It was the printing ottice that gave to
the counti-y its greatest editor, Greeley,
and its great geueral, Phil. H. Sheri
dan. Geu. Tbos. James, the gallant
soldier and ex-postmaster general,
learned his trade as a printer in the of
fice of a country weekly in New York.
Gen. N. P. Banks learned the printer's
trade in Boston, and afterwards served
as general of his native State. Gen.
Anson Slager, late vice-president of
the Western Union Telegraph Com
pany. earned his first dollar as "devil'"
in a Buffalo, N. Y., printing-office, acd
died a millionaire. Geu.- Horatio C.
King, judge-advocate general of the
State, of New York, started in life as a
printer: and Edwin R. Haskell, the
millionaire newspaper editor of Bos
ton, and part owner of the Minneapolis
Tribune, orked rollers in a printing
office, when a boy, for fifty cents a
week. C. A. Beam&n, law partner of
Senator Eva it.-), was a printer on the
Boston Herald. Senator Plumb of
Kansas worked at the case as a com
positor: and ex-postmaster general
Frank Hacton, at present editor and
part proprietor of the Chicago Evening
Mail, worked as a printer for many
years in early life.
In our own State aud city the print
ing office has contributed not a few men
prominent, in public life. Hon. A. P,.
M'G.iil, candidate for governor, is an
old-time printer, and at present pro
prietor of one of the best weekly news
papers in the State. F. H. McDonald,
receiver of the land office at-St.. Cloud,
is an old Pioneer Presj printer. Jim
Ahern, clerk of the municipal court in
St. Paul, has a record of setting up
33.090 ems a day, solid long primer.
Alderman M. F.Ivaiu. the Knight of
Labor alderman who represents the
fifth ward in the St. Paul council, and
will be elected as the next, clerk of
courts in this county, is a printer, and
still works at the trade. M. J. Daly is
a printer, well known and popular, who
has been nominated for the position of
county commissioner. George K.
Shaw, editor of the Dispatch, is an
old-time "space-benderwhile Chan
uing Paine, now of the Graphic Illus
trating Company, used to be good for
at least forty-nine on the Pioneer
Press.
There is no branch of industry more
exacting' than the printers, and none
which affords greater opportunities for
industrious and ambitious'workmen to
rise above the common level. There
are but two stumbling blocks iu the
printer's road to success—whiskey and
indolence.--St. Paul Labor Echo.
—An old lady being called into court
as a witness, got vexed at the lawyer,
and declared: "If you don't stop ask
ing questions I'll leave!" and then
added: "You're the most inquisitive
man I ever saw in all the days of my
life."—N. Y. Herald.
—The Pith of It: Harry (who has
the idea, but forgets the precise
words)—"Oh, sister, Mrs. B. told me.
to tell you how awfully kind it was
of you to sing, as it's so hard to get
any* one to do it nowadays unless
they sing well."—Life.
—Captain John Ericsson claims
that the mooa is composed of ice.
This is probably true, and explains
the effrontery with which the old
gentleman therein cosily peeks into
sequestered nooks and over garden
gates.—N. Y. Graphic.
—Traveler—"Mister, what time does
that 'commodation get in that's goin'
down ter Smiks Clearin?" Ticket
Agent (within)—"From half pas' one
to 'bout three in the afternoon." Trav
eler—"Is she ginerally on time?"
Ticket Agent—" Ginerally."—Boston
Budget.
—"No, doctor," said the musical
critic, who had been discussing the
development of che divine art in
Australia, "we have no great com
posers in this country." "I beg par
don. sir, but I believe we have one
great composer." "The name,
please?" 'Chloroform!"
—A little girl went visiting one day,
and after a time was given the album
of family photographs to look at. She
turned the leaves over carefully, and
pretty soon closed the book. "Well,
dear," asked the hostess, "did you
look at the album?" "Oh, yes," an
swered the little maid, brightly. "And
we've got one 'zactiv like it, only the
"-if. r. £x
vpietnxtti w» prettier.
1
jhr
A PECULIAR WILL.
How a Rich and Patriotic Greek Banker
Disposed of His Wealth.
A Greek banker of Constantinople,
by the name of Jannaki, who recently
died, and who, like many of his coun
trymen, entertained the hope that
Constantinople would one day become
a Greek possession, left the following
will: "This is my last will My en
tire fortune I have acquired in the
sweat of my brow, honestly and with
out injustice. Uo widow or orphan
will curse my memory. I have suf
fered much from persons high in rank,
who lire ou their misdeeds against the
weak. My entire fortune I leave in
an underground vault, so that the
Greeks ou taking Constantinople may
find, this treasure and erect with it a
school, called the Pan-Hellenic. Its
curators are to be the ruler of Greece,
the Patriarchs of Constantinople,
Jerusalem and Alexandria and two of
the most learned Greeks. On the
seizure of Constantinople, when the
wooden houses of the city will, become
a prey of the flames, the box. I sua
convinced, -will be found. Should it
be sccidenfcly found before then, I Be
seech the Russian Ambassador to see
to it that it does mot fall into Turkish
hands, but is brought to Sk Petersburg,
thera to be preserved until the libera
tion mf my people. All the pawn
tickets contained ia the box belong to
me, for the sums lent en then will
never be repaid me, because the *e
emed interest amonnte to more tkaa
double the eapital. I often, charged
high interest, but only when the loan
was to be used for a bad p&rpose.
Then my object was to frighten off the
borrower. I was called a usurer, but
unjustly. In a second, box will be
found a gold-embroidered dress of the
Patriarch K., who borrowed three
hundred medjido© on it, which, as I
learned to my sorrow, he gave to the
former Vizier for the removal of his
rival. I pray and beseech the finder
of the box to carry out this my last
will."—Nl Y. Evening Post.
PNEUMATIC TUBES*
lay Gould's Latest Plan lor !U« TPraas*.
mission of Messages in Sew York.
Jay Gould has decided to use pneu
matic tubes throughout New York
City, for transmit/ring messages, in
stead of the wires now used by the
Western Union Telegraph Company.'
For nearly a year the Western Union
Company has been quietly experiment
ing with patents procured by Mr. A.
Brotherhood for the use of pneumatic
tubes in transmitting messages. The
experiments have proven that there are
many advantages in the new scheme.
The tubes will cost forty per cent, less
than wires for maintenance. Another
saving will be effected in substuting
clerks for telegraph operators. Clerks
can be employed from thirty to forty
dollars a month, while telegraph ope
rators require forty to seventy-five dol
lars a month. The clerks will be re
quired to receive dispatches, enter
them in a book and forward them to
the main office by placing them in the
tube and touching an electrical but
ton. The wear and tear of wires has
been a great expense to telegraph com
panies, and the frequent interruptions
in down-town sections hds been a seri
ous embarrassment. Pneumatic tubes
have been used bet-ween the newspaper
oflices and the Western Union offices
for ten years., and are still in perfect
order. During all that time there has
not been a moment's interruption, nor
a cent's cost for maintenance. The
pne\irnatic tubes will be able to con
vey autographic messages instantly to
all parts of the city, and also to Brook
lyn, Jersey City and other outlying
towns of importance. Where the dis
tance is too great to admit of prompt
acting of one tube, there will be relay
stations, at which messages will be
transferred to other tubes, with a new
supply of air pressure.—N. Y. Cor.
Milwaukee Sen fond.
COULDN'T GET IN.
Why an Honest Granger's Exhibit Was
Sot Wanted at the County Fair.
"What class do you want to entei
your horse in?" said the president of
the agricultural fair as he met the hon
est farmer at the gate.
"Enter my hoss? I ain't got no
hoss to enter nowhere."
"Don't want to put either of yoiix
horses on the track?"
"No, sir." ,y.
"Got a wheel of fortune or any such
thing you want to set up?"
"Naw!"
"Then what are you driving in with
che team and wagon for?"
"Why, I've got a pun'kin here four
feet high and a lot of big corn and
some o' the best squashes in the whole
country and there's a two-year-old
steer tied behind the wagon that b^ate
any thing you ever see, I know!" ...
"That may all be, my friend, but
this is no place for you. If you've got
a horse that you want to put on the
track or any kind of a confidence gamt
you might come in, but as it is we
have no room for you. Come, move
on there, and give Colonel Toe weight
a chance to drive in. Go and feed
your garden truck to your big steer."
—Estelhne (2. T.) Bell.
—A frog was found in the center of
a chunk of ice at Naugatock, Conn.,
recently. The ice was broken up and
th£ frog leaped out as though nothing
nnusual had happened.—New Haven
Register.
i..)- ,-.,V „l-
......... ......
st
THE IRISH STANDARD: SATURDAY, NOVEMBER IS, 1886.
"j
BY FAR-FAMED BLACKWATER
(Continued l'rom first page.)
is undoubtedly fine, for the river has
quiet beauties, and here and there an
old building gives point to the land
scape. But the Bfackwater scenery is
of the kind our grandmothers extolled
it is harmonious, it is ornamental, it is
orderly—it is terribly correct and bore
some. The steel engraving in the var
ious "Picturesque Ireland" of Mr. and
Mrs. Hall and their followers are hard
ly more polished and commonplace
than this (may Ireland forgive me!)
cockney stream. iJor is there any
thing in Quin's cappagli, or field, as
the village gets its name, to warrant a
stay for its own sake. But from here
one has to penetrate the mountain in
order to see the monks who in this
century have revived a commune which
bad completely died out of Ireland
uuder persecution, and to the present
day has no lawful right of existence,
but which at one time so flourished
throughout this southern part of the
island that it must have seemed one
great monkery.
Uew Passanger Depot.
The new passenger debot of the Wis
consin Central Line in Coicago, on the
corner of Polk street and Fifth avenue,
is now open. The building is a commo
dious and conveniently arranged struc
ture, located in the business centre of
the city and readily accessible from all
the leading hotels, places of amusement
and depots of all connecting lines from
the east and south. The choice of a
site on the South Side for a Chicago
terminus will be recognized by travel
ers as of incalculable benefit to persons
who are so detained by business or
otherwise that it becomes iaipossible
for ihem to figure their time of start
iug with any reasonable approach to
accuracy. There is no need of lee-way
in time in order to guard againbt the
danger of embarrasiug delays at the
frequently swung bridges. The train
service of the New Koute to and from
The Northwest rapidly being in
creased and improved two express
trains run daity each way oetween
Chicago and Chippewa Falls, Eau
Claire, St. Paul and Minneapolis the
-ame number between Chicago and
Ashland, Lake Superior three trains
between Chicago and Fond. du
Lac, and Oshkosh, Neenah snd
Menasha, and four each way be
tween Chicago, Burlington and Wau
kesha. The fast train which leaves
Chicago at 4 p, m. every day in the year
arrives in Ashland, St. Paul and Min
neapolis early the next morning, mak
ing close connections with all lines di
verging. All classes of tickets are ac
cepted on this train. Railroad people
and the traveling public are justly be
ginning to regard the astonishing suc
cess attained by the New Route during
the few months of its existence with
mingled sensations of wonder and res
pect.
PE0BATE NOTICE.
STATE
OF MINNESOTA, County of Henne
pin—Probate Court.
In the matter of the estate of Bridget Lan
drigan, deceased.
On reading and filing- the final account of
Patrick Kyau, executor of the last will and
testament oi said deceased, and his petition
praying foi the allowance of said account and
for a decree assigning xhe residue of said es
tate to the person's by law entitled to the same:
It is ordered,
rIha.t
said petition he beard at a
general term ol' this Court, to he held at the
Court House in the Citv of Minneapolis, in said
e.iimty, on Monday, the (th day of .December,
1.880, at 10 o'clock in the forenoon aud that no
nee of such hearing be jriven to all persons in
rerested, by publishing Ibis order at least once
in each week i'br three successive weeks prior
to said day of hearing* in The Irish Standard, a
newspaper primed and published in said
count j'.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 10th day of No
vember, 1886.
By the Court: A. UBLAND,
«J. R.
COKRIGAN,
»#-rt»
Judge of Probate.
Attorney for Fixecutor.
PASS
A
Once More Only
If You Intend to Spend
Christmas
IX THE
OLD COUNTRY
Call at our
passage now,
up.
office and secure
before the price
v,
Beef
your
goes
IRELAND
FOR
AND UPWARDS,
0TFREE OF CHARGE.
A. E JOHNSON & Co,
General Northwestern Agents,
Corner Third and Sibley Streets?
ST. PA
UL,%MINN.
a
and
NOW IS THE
The Irish Standard
TEBM£—POSTAGE IEEE.
One year $2 00
aix months 1 00
Three months 50
Any person getting up a club of tea will re­
ceive a copy free.
THC IRISH STANDARD will bo mailed to Ire­
land, England, Scotland and Wales at £2-50 per
year. •.
Remit by check, money order or postal
cote to
THE IRISH STAEDABD,
42 Third Street South, Minneapolis, Minn.
.ti'Ageute wanted- ia, e?ary city: aw)
town, to whom liberal terms will be given.
'••'('W. W. IMSIilJSKEV'S "m
Merchant Tailoring Parlors:
Foreign and Domestic Wool.ens Constantly on Hand!
Prices Reasonable and Satisfaction Guaranteed!
316 NICOLLET AVENUE, UPSTAIRS
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA.
INNEAPOLIS PROVISION COMPAN'
Qealers.
Pork Packers
an.d
Subscribe Fm
TEE
AN
Irish-American Family Journal.
Next week will conclude the story of
"Mary Lee, or the Yankee in Ireland,"
and the following week we shall com
mence the publication of a novel from
the pen of that peerless Irish writer,
Gerald Griffin, entitled
uil-Dhuv
THE COINER.
This is one of Mr. Griffin's abl3st
novels, aud from the beginning to the
end will hold the attention of the
reader.
The tale of Suil Dhuv owes its origin
to an incident related in an old maga
zine, which fell into the bands of tiio
writer, at an early age. A traveler in a
lonely part of some country or another,
stopped to dine at an inn on the road
side, and afterward resumed his jour
ney. Towards midnight his horse hav
ing lost a shoe, he knocked at a black
smith't forge, to have the evil remedied. °on Lhid)ev
The latter grumbled much at being dis- s^oo
turbed, at such an hour, but was silent
when the traveler handed him a guinea
for his trouble. Touched by this lib
erality, the blacksmith bade the former
turn back as there was danger in the
road. The traveler replied that he was
well armed and had no fear. The
blacksmith became urgent, and finding
he could not prevail, bade the traveler
look to his pistols. The latter to his
astonishment found the charges of
both were drawn! The blacksmith then
showed him the horse's hoofs, and let
him see that the clenching of the nails
had been filed away, evidently, with
the intent of disabling the animal from
continuing the journey, beyond a cer
tain point. At the request of the trav
eler, both defects were remedied, and
the latter, iu opposition to the urgent
entreaties of the blacksmith, continued
his journey. About a mile from the
forge he was encountered' by a high
wayman, who seized liis horse's bridle,
and bade him deliver up his money.
The traveler rapidly desired the robber
on peril of bis life to let go therein.
The latter laughed at his threats. The
t)aveler presented a pistol,—tbe robber
still mocked at him. The wayfarer at
length lired, and shot his assailant
through the heart. He then alighted,
piaeed his body across the saddle-bow,
and rode back to the forge, where by a
light he discovered that the wretched
highwayman was no other than the
landlord of the inn, who had been long
in concert with the blacksmith, and
made an easy prey of his guests by the
practice of rendering their pistols use
less. He fell a victim in this instance
to his confidence in the infallibility of
his own precautions, while the traveler
owed his safety to the liberality he
manifested at the blacksmith's forge.
v.
wmm
rmimWIm
Generai
Provision
/WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
Market men,
wholesale and retail grocers, botol, family and lumber camp supplies
and 26 South First Street, MINNEAPOLIS. MINN,.
Block of tenement houses on Twelfth
avenue north, corner of Ninth street,
only $14,000. §5,000 down, balance to
suit, with interest at 7 per cents.
Housfc and lot on Western atomic,
near Hennepin, only $15,000, one-third
cash, balance at 6 per cent, for 10 vears.
House and lot on Eighth street north,
$3,500, one-half cash, balance to suit,
with 7 per cent, interest.
Vacant lot on Second avenue south.
•50 feet front, only $2,000 ?p500 cash,
balance thr. years.
Three lots on Aldiich avenue, corner
Thirty-second, street, $3,000 one-third
cash, balance to suit.
Five lots on Aldrich avenue, near
Forty-first street. $500 each, one-fourth
down.
Five lots on Lyndale avenue, near
Forty-first street, east front, splendid
view of Lake3 and city, only $t00 each
one-third down, balance to snip.
Stone building in Center block, 26?
feet front, back to alley, for only $32.
000 only $.12,500 to be cash, balance 0
per cent.
41x132 feet, corner Third street ami
First avenue north, with brick build
ing, two-storv and basement, only $38,
000 $38,000 cash, balance to suit.
42x82 feet on Third street, for $'123 a
front foot.
About three acres land on the .East
Side, near Como avenue, joining rail
road. good for manufacturing pi rposos..
$22.1)00.
A piece of ground fronting Central.
Park, good for a block of tenement
houses, for 320,000.
Two lota on Fourth avenue south,
ash.
avenue, only
$2,400.
120 l'eet on First avenue south lor
88,000. Th is a snap. Only $2,-50(i
down.
50 feet ou Clinton avenue: only $5,000.
Several desirable bargain*
in South Mhi'iieapolisl
HouHeafor rent or -will sell
ori'montjilii payments*
Tins is'but small part of
the bargains left for sale with
312 Hennepin Avenue.
:Burlii}^tor? I^oute
pro/T\ t\?e Ifortyu/est"
THE PRINCIPAL LINE BETWEEN THE
NORTHWEST
AND ALL POINTS IN THE
UNITED STATES AND CANADA
Connections
in
I
tHxm m,
V-
UNION Depots
AT ALL
BUSINESS RENTERS
PEERLESS DINING CARS
AND PULLMAN'S SLEEPERS
ON ALL THROUGH TRAINS BETWEEN
^STJPAUl ICAGD S0ST.LQU!S
THE ONLYLINE
RUNNING DINING CARS BETWEEN 7
THE TWIN CITIESST.LOUIS ,F
FOR TICKETS, RATES, GENERAL.INFORMATION,-ETC.,
CAU. ON ANY TICKET AGENT IN THE UNITED STATES OR CANAOA
OR ADDRE68
GEO. B. HARRIS W. J. C. KENYON
GENERAL MANASCRj
ST. PAUL, MINN
•iS:
1
1
*l
W*s. Aa^
5,
Wc'
pd
.3^
^1?