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The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, March 03, 1906, Image 4

Image and text provided by Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn90060625/1906-03-03/ed-1/seq-4/

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Hack to "Cash!
The summer, girl upon/the beach
Uer shapely figure shows
In bathing suit* of many hues
And elongated hose.
She's the life of every function,
She's the joy of every set,
And her hand is pledged in marris
To 'most ever' man she's mei.
But when the season's over
At the seashore and the glen
This dainty creature vanishes
Till summer comes again.
And you wonder what's become of her.
Tour erstwhile summer mash,
Who in a big department store
"If anybody's name ever was a mis­
fit, it's mine. Beulah means 'married,'
and I'm an old maid—quite a little
gray and almost 40. More polite, I
suppose, to say bachelor maid, but I
believe in calling a spade a spade.
Whoever wrote that hymn about
'Sweet Beulah land,' ought to see what
kind of land mine is—rocks and birch
and that dreadful frog pond. I can't
even make my little garden all in one
spot, but have to plant tomatoes in
one place and hunt up another for the
squashes. They do look pretty, though,
climbing over the rocks and it saves,
me the trouble of piling a heap of
stones together and calling it a rock­
ery. Ugh! how those frogs croak to­
night I could hear them a mile away.
I wish it was winter and they were
asleep in the mud." And Miss Beulah,
drawing her shoulder shawl tightly,
went into her lonely house.
Is shrilly calling "C-A-S-H!"
—Ed. W. Dunn.
She was said to have had a "dis­
appointment." Amos Hathaway had
wanted her and she had loved him,
but they must wait until he could
make a little home for her, and he
bent all his energy to that end. It
was hard toil, digging and delving on
a rocky New England farm. The
dawn, with its flush of amber and
pearl, meant potatoes to be' dug, and
the glory of the sunset told of cows to
be milked. But at last Amos had
enough for their simple wants.
"Beulah, dear girl," he said, "the
little home is all ready."
"I know, Amos, but I can't come—
I cannot, I ought not to leave father
and mother."
"You are crazy, Beulah! I have
wanted you for six years and lived
and worked in the hope of it. Is this
what has made you look and act so
strangely?"
"Yes, you thought it was because of
sister Emily, but that was not all. I
knew when she died there would be
no one left but me to take care of
father and mother. I've tried so many
times to tell you, but I never could—
I cannot leave them."
"Then, you don't really love me,
Beulah!"
(Copyright, 1905, by Daily Story Pub. Co.)
It was a storm of passion and the
turning back of the hopes of years,
and Amos, in the bitterness of his soul,
when all his pleading proved in vain,
told her to go her way and he would
go his—he never would, never ask
her to come to him again. And away
he went to the mining region of the
northwest to make his fortune.
Beulah used to think of him winter
nights when the wind shrieked in the
chimney and rocked the old bouse.
Sh6 had given the most devoted care
to her father and mother to the end
of their lives, and now she was alone.
Her tiny house and garden were her
main support, but lately she had been
fired with zeal to strike out in a new
direction and add to her income. The
new trolley was on everybody's ton­
gue. It was an air iine between a
large town and a city, and the little
farming hamlet where Beulah lived
"Then, you don't really love me,
Beulah!"
lay in its^ track and was waking up to
its opportunities.
"Why can't I sell something as well
as the rest and earn enough for a
new dress," said Miss Beulah, toss­
ing on her uneasy pillow. "I haven't
any farm produce and I never had any
luck with chickens. There! I've heard
that frog's legs were good to eat, and
I've frogs enough to fill up a regi­
ment."
"Do it now!" was Miss Beulah's
watchword, and next morning she
took the trolley for the cityand never
rested until she had seen the general
buyer for a fine hotel and engaged to
brinf a aamplelotof .frog saddled
Tired but triumphant, she came hone
unmindful of the keen scrutiny of a
fellow traveler, who eyed her fir(st
with a puzzled look, then with a satis­
fied air swung himself off at the same
stopping place.
Next morning, bright and early,
Miss Beulah made an amphibious
toilet and started for the frog pond!.
Stepping carefully on the floating net­
work of branches and logs she spied
the bright, green head and mottled
body of a splendid great fellow and
crept cautiously close to him.
"I've got you now!" she exclaimed,
putting out her hand and making a
tremendous grab. But he was too
"I don't want to be engaged in a frog
oond."
quick and dashed back into the water.
"I'll have you yet," she cried, and,
bending eagerly forward, lost her bal­
ance and fell splashing among the
frightened frogs.
"Hold on, I'll help you," shouted a
masterful voice, which thrilled her
hear, and a tall, athletic man came
resolutely toward her and lifted her
dripping form.
"Come, Beulah—hold tight—don't
be afraid—come with me."
"Amqs Hathaway! I'd know your
voice at the North Pole!"
"Yes, Beulah, I was waiting for the
proper time in the day to call, and
came around by the old pond. You
know, dear, I vowed I'd never ask
you to come to me again, but I've just
said It."
"Don't say another word, Amos, un­
til we get ashore. I don't want to be
engaged in a frog pond."
Preferred "Coney" to "Long."
Capt. Prager of the North German
Lloyd steamer Breslau was constantly
annoyed on the last voyage over by a
mischievous youngster, who shook the
foundations of the captain's peace of
mind till at last his patience gave
out.
The boy had been hanging- around
the captain ail day, worrying him with
his naughtiness, till finally the1 skip­
per let loose the vials of his wrath.
"If you don't behave yourself, you,"
he roared with the voice accustomed
to obedience, "I'll put yota ashore on
Hong Island and let you stay there."
But he had not counted on the na­
tive American wit. As quick as a flash
the youngster replied:
"Oh, captain, please, I'd much- rather
be put ashore, on Coney island."
And when they reached port the cap­
tain wanted to know why one should
be preferred to the other for maroon­
ing purposes.—Baltimore Sun.
Capt. Burns Cured of Pea Soup.
The following was frequently told
by Capt. Martin Burns of Bangor, Me.,
as onq'on him:
The captain was very fond,of split
pea soup, and before leaving port he
always put in a good-sized stock of
split peas. On this occasion, however,
his negro steward got whole peas, and
so the soup that the captain called for
oh the first day out was thrown away.
The next day pea soup was again
served, and this time the captain after
having eaten a hearty meal, said to his
steward: "Steward, that's the kind of
soup I like we'll have some more just
like it to-morrow."
"Fo de Lawd's sake, cap'n," ex?
claimed the steward, "ma jaws am so
tired chewing dem whole peas £at Ah
jusv! can't chem no mo"
The captain never asked for- pea
soupagaih.
Same Old Plaint.
The Optlmist^'PIneday, isn't It?"
The Pesaim4st-r*"Oh^ don,t know.
It's' probably rainiog swiaewhert.
GOOD ^ND HUMOROUS EXCUSsE.
Debtor Really Deserved Grant of Ex
tension off Tjme.
A prominent business house in Bal­
timore placed a bill in the hands of a
collector, who, in response to a re
quest for settlement, received the fol­
lowing in reply:
"My. Dear Sir:. Absence from the
city prevented $ny writing in answe»
to yours of recent date.
"It will be utterly impossible for me
to settle the claim you mention at
present, for the very simple but good
reason—I haven't got it.
"I lost every penny I had in the
world, and considerable I had in the
future, in a theatrical venture last
September. Up to the present time I
have not recovered from the' shock.
"I think if you lay this fact before
your clients they will not advise you
to proceed harshly against me. From
their past experience with my modes
of procedure in days gone by I do not
think they can recall any suspicious
mannerisms which could lead them to.
suppose I am a debt dodger.
"I hav$ simply been initiated into
the Lodge of Sorrow, Hard Luck Chap-,
ter, Fool Division No. 69.
"My picture, hanging crape-laden on
the walls of the Hall of Fame, bears
the legend, 'Sucker No. 33876493.'
"My motto is briefly: 'I would if I
could but I haven't, so I can't.'
"Fortune may smile, however up to
the present writing it has given me the
laugh. I have hopes.
"Directly I am in a position even re­
motely suggesting opulence. I assure
you your balance will receive my very
prompt attention."—Montreal Herald.
SHOCK TOO MUCH FOR BRUIN.
Not
Hugging Bear Evidently Did
Know the Summer Girl.
The great performing Russian bear
had escaped from the captivity under
which he had chafed for so many
months but he was finding that liber­
ty had its drawbacks. For many
weary hours he had prowled, but noth­
ing in the shape of food had he seen.
Suddenly he gave a growl of delight,
for, sitting on a stile.he espied a tooth­
some little lady, who was evidently
awaiting the coming of a young man.
Bruin did not stop to ponder upon
his good-fortune he seized her in a
mighty hug. For a while she said
nothing but as he exerted more of his
tremendous strength she murmured:
"I don't think you are quite so
strong as you were, Gerald."
Then once more melancholy settled
upon Bruin. He had done his best
but the young ladies of this country
were beyond him.
With a roar of despair he retraced
his steps to the menagerie, and gave
himself up without a struggle.—Lon­
don Answers.
Will Willing, Wind Weak.
Mayor Story/ of Atlantic City, was
condemning those Menhaden fisher­
men who dredge the Atlantic at points
illegally near the shore for fish that
is only 'used for fertilizer. At the
same time the Mayor pointed out the
difficulty of catching and punishing
these fishermen. He said:
"On account of the sinful waste of
good fish that they cause, we would be
only too glad to prosecute these men,
but the means to detect and identify
them are not often at hand. We have
the will but not the power to punish.
We are like the trumpeter in an At­
lantic City band.
"This man, a native of Germany,
was practicing one night a trumpet
obligato, but he did not play anything
like loud enough.
'Louder, louder,' said the leader.
"And the trumpeter redoubled his
efforts.
'Louder, louder.'
"And he put on still more steam.
'Louder, louder, louder
"The trumpeter banged down his
trumpet and glared at. the leader with
eyes-that started from their sockets.
'It's all ferry veil,' he spluttered,
'to say louder, louder," but vare iss
de vind?"'
Coachman as Col lector.
It is related of D&an''Gilbert Stokes
that once, when influenza had inca­
pacitated his verger as well as the
two churchwardens, he consigned the
duty of collecting the alms to a neigh­
bor's coachman.
"Take the what, sir?" queried that
worthy.
"Take the offertory," explained the
Dean. "The collection—the money
from the people in the pews."
The coachman seemed satisfied and
even pleased with his new dignity.
But when the offertory hymn was half
through a noisy altercation was heard
in one of the transepts, and the Dean
at once called the collector to the
rails.
"Whatever is the matter?" he in­
quired.
The coachman, red of face and
wrathful of eye, then explained. He
was no h^f-Aft&balf. individual, and
$bpn a?tli&g was given him to do he
did it, and did it thoroughly. He said:
"Why, sir, there's two men in the
best seats as won't pay."—London An­
swers.
The Gift.
Fate promised me ny wish/ and I replied:
"Fortune for them who have no higher
thought,.
And fame tor those whose souls may so
be bought—
But give me love, and am satisfied."
I spoke, and straight one stood there at
my side,
A child of sorrow oa whose' face grief
had wrought
Such misery ae nowhere else Is taught
For man's imagining. And then cried:
"Oh. liar, fate, heahrew thee for thy
guile!,
Thou sefnoeet me this poor and sorry
thing
When it was love that I had asked oi
thee?"
1
The't grave-eyed stranger smiled—oh,
such a smile
v.
\n'
One see* hut en, the muM suffering-^
And sadly made me answer: "I am he.*
—ReSlndd Wright j-'Kauffman^n^.Ten
•Wat£9Bl»
Adaptable, Energetic and Opti­
mistic, It Has Created Great.
Wealth Out of the Unbounded
Opportunities of Nature.
The horseback era followed the
navigation of the streams, and then
the railroad' came to hang the great
Spaces of the west with cities like
long circuits of electric lights waving
along a boulevard.
With the railroad the westerner
issed away, leaving the American
citizen proud of his section. With the
railroad came the period of town,
building and town booming wherein
the men from the west, traveling
westward in a Pullman, endeavored
to make fortunes overnight in real
estate gambling, it took the collapse
of the boom and the awful years that
made Kansas bleed to teach them that
they had found a new empire.
In these men are now blended the
traits of the cowboy and of the real
estate man, of the vigilante and the
student of law, but added to all these
is the conservatism of the capitalist
and the responsibilities of succes's.
They "plunge" less now, since they
have more to protect. But they are
the same adaptable, energetic, opti­
mistic spirits who pushed the pioneer
ahead and created for themselves
great wealth where only opportunity
Local Watch Repairer Made Time,
piece All Right, but Could
Not Regulate the Striking Part
off His Handiwork.
"It's the Kind Word and the
Thought for the Deed Done
and the Doer, Out off Which
the Good la Wrought."
Cultivate kindness of heart think
well of your fellow men look with
charity upon the shortcomings in
their lives do a good turn for them
as opportunity offers andi, finally,
dpn't forget the kind word at the
right time.
How much a word of kindness, en­
couragement or appreciation means to
others, sometimes, and how little it
costs us to give it.
We do not need to wait f?r some,
special occasion, says the Philadelphia
Inqifiver. When calamity overtakes a
friend, words of sympathy and en­
couragement are offered sincerely
enough, yet In certain respects, as a
matter of
course.
'For What la Left the Poet
Here 7—For Greeks a Blush—
for Greece a Tear."
The tales of Greece, the isles of Greece!
Sternal summer gilds them yet,
But all,'except their sun, is set.
The Scian and „the Telan muse,v
The hera's heart, the loner's lute,
Spirit of the Northwest
"Devil Clock" in Old Mexican Town
In my travels in Mexico I visited a
city which has a town clock in a high
tower, and this clock does not run,
says a writer in the Kansas City Star.
I learned its history from the inhabi­
tants. It appeared that one of the
leading citizens of the town had visit­
ed the United States, and when he
returned to his native city he insisted
that the town ought to have a public
clock. He called a meeting of citi­
zens, laid the plan before them, and
they subscribed $400 for a town clock.
They engaged a local watch repairer
to tuild the clock and gave him or­
ders that it must strike the hours.
He had never seen a town clock, but
he sent to a coast town and secured a
small marine striking clock, and with
it as a model he constructed, by
mathematical expansion, a large clock
and placed it in the tower. It was
advertised to begin running at 8
Relics off Its Practice Found All
Over the World—Some of the
Moat Prominent off Known
Instances,
When the Japanese captured Muk­
den they found the black stone of the
Manchu dynasty, regarded by the Man
chus as marking the center of the
universe. Even without possession of
the sacred rock it looks as if the Jap­
anese were putting themselves pretty
much in the middle of things, and mak­
ing the rest of the world spin about
their island kingdom.
The worship of stones was an an­
cient and universal custom, and relics
of its practice are found all over the
world. Up to tne end of the nine­
teenth century the peasants of the
Norwegian mountains cherished round
stones, which they kept in a comfort­
able bed of fresh straw. Once a week
these stones were carefully washed,
smeared with butter or steeped in ale,
and they were treated with great re­
spect in order that they might bring
good luck to the house.
awaited their coming. Thejr are still
pushing.
There afe the men who have made
that three-fifths of the nation which
lies west of Chicago so safe that the
cliff dwellers of Manhattan have
grown richer by selling them their
wares—from steel bridges to maga­
zines, from life insurance to Massa­
chusetts state bonds.' Their one care
is a constant watch for opportunity
and their rule of honor is respect for
every other man's right to try.
They laugh when they win because
success in a. successful country need
not be taken too seriously. They laugh
also when they fail, because failure
amidi so many opportunities is ludi­
crous. They are crude and they must
meet their social problems in their
wives' names. Their optimism is the
optimism of plenty1 their conceit
grows out of their achievements.
Worship of Stones an Ancient Custom
The New Yorker scornfully says:
"Why should I go west? I have
everything that is worth seeing right
here in New York."
To this the American replies: "Yes,
everything except the U,nited States
of America."
"You think you are the whole na­
tion," says the New Yorker.
"No," says the American. -I'm
only a part owner. But I know my
country and my partners: You don't."
—World's Work.
Words of Kindness That Mean Much
Such an occasion
calls for expression on our part, and
.we ^naturally resfpiond. ButVwhy wait
for an occasion? Why not speak,the
kind word when there is no special
o'clock, and as it was a great event
in the town's history most of the popu­
lation gathered in the plaza to see the
clock start and hear it strike. When
the hour came the clock struck cor­
rectly an*d continued to strike correct­
ly until 1 o'clock, when it struck up to
sixty-one» When 2 o'clock came the
clock struck 113 times. The whole
town rushed out to see what was the
matter. It happened that the builder
of the clock lived at one end of .the
town, and when he heard it striking
up to 113 he leaped out of bed, seized
a wrench and ran down the middle
of the^ street to the plaza, climbed
the tower and stopped it. Thereafter
he was to be seen every hour running
down the street with a wrench, the
whole town cheering and laughing,
while he climbed the tower to pre­
vent the striking apparatus from run­
ning away. The poor man put up
with this only a few months, and then
he ?an away and never returned.
Since his disappearance the clock has
never run. It is called the devil
clock.
Byron Lament on Downfall df Greece
fl
Have found the fame, your .shores refuse
Their place of birth alone is mute
To sounds which echo further West
Than your sires' ^Islands of-the Blest."
i^e^mount4!n» !^k^viferathon—'
Kaaba, the holy stone of Mecca, is
worn and polished by the kisses Of the
crowding pilgrims while the Do-ring
of Lhasa, Tibet, marks another cen­
ter of the universe.
There are other stones of legendary
or historical interest which have
played a practical part in national or
civil life. The Stone of Scone was
originally supposed to be the ancestral
god of the Irish Scots. It was kept in
the gray old castle of Dunstaffnage un­
til it was carried to Scone, and the
Scottish kings were crowned upon it.
Edward I. carried it to Westminster
abbey, and it forms the' seat of the
coronation chair used by all the Brit­
ish sovereigns.
The London Stone marked the meet­
ing-place of the Roman roads which
ran through the kingdom, and from it
all distances were reckoned. It was
supposed to have been brought from
Troy, and is mentioned in very early
records. To-day a fragment of it is
embedded in the wall of St. Swithin's
church, London, and' protected by a
strong iron grille.
occasion to make it obvious?
In the course of our lives there
must be many times when thought­
less words areJ spoken by us which
wound the hearts qf others And
there are also many little occasions
when the word of cheer is needed
from us, and we are silent.
There are lives of wearisome monot­
ony which a word of kindness can
relieve. There is sufferinjg which
words of, sympathy can make more
endurable. And often, even in the
midst of wealth and luxury, there are
those who listen and long in vain for
some expression of disinterested kind­
ness.
Speak to those while they can hear
and be helped by you, for the day
may come when all our expressions
of love and appreciation may be un­
heard. Imagine yourself standing be­
dside their last resting place. Think
of the things you could have said of
them,-and to -them, while they were
yet living. Then go and tell them
now.
For standing oh the Persian's-grave,
I, could not deem myself a slave.
A King sate on the rocky brow
Which looks o'er sea-horn Salamis
And ships, by thousands, lay below,
And men in -nations—all were his!
He counted them break of day~
And when the sun set .where were they?
And where are they? and where art thou,
My country? On thy voiceless shore
The heroic lay is tuneless now—
The heroic bosom heats no, more!
Attd must thy^ lyre, so long divine,
Degenerate into hands like mine?"
'Tis something, in the dearth of fa *,
8ad
JjQKES
SHORT ITEMS MEANT TO CAUSE
A SMILE.
End of the Once Noble Ranger of
the Jungle—'Writer Was Holdfng his
Own—The Appropriate Thing for
Nuritch's Baby.
A Suggestion.
Mr. Sloman—Now, you're joking
again, aren't you?"
Miss Waite—Judge for yourself you
should know me pretty well by this
time.
Mr. Sloman—But you puzzle me
.sometimes I don't know what to make
of you.
Miss Waite—No? By the way, did
you hear about Jack Brown and May
Long? He made her his wife yester­
day.
Holding His Own.
"How are you getting on yith your
Writifig for the magazines?"
"Just holding my own. They send
me back as much as I sand thsm."
Couldn't Hear It.
"The lady who moved in yesterday
deceived me," said the rental agent
apologetically. "She said she had no
children, but I understand she has a
baby. Did it disturb you?"
"No," answered Mr. Flatdweller.
"They tell me it cried some during the
night, but the noise was drowned by
the howls of Smith's dog and the
shrieks of Mrs. Brown's parrot."—De
troit Tribune.
The Decline of Poetry.
"That was an exquisite poem you
had in the paper this morning," said
the old subscriber. "Where did you
get it?"
"Eh^ Oh, the poem?" said the edi
tor. "Why, I bought it." Then he
apologetically added, "You see I knew
the poor fellow who wrote it and I
wanted to help him along."
As Its Papa Eats.
"Oh, yes, Nuritch's baby was born
with a silver spoon in its mouth, of
course."
"It's a curious-looking child takes
after its father, doesn't U?"
"No, indeed if it took after its
father it would have been born with a
silver knife in its "jouth."
Moving Cheese.
"Will you start the cheese this way,
(•lease?" said the thin boarder at din
aer.
"It's not time for cheese yet," said
/he fat boarder.
"No, but if you start it now it will
probably get here by the time I'm
ready for it."—Yonkers Statesman.
Scraped It Together.
are
Family Friend—Well, how
things
Young Preacher—Fine. The congre
gation actually raised my salary this
month.
Family Friend—How much was the
Increase?
Young Preacher—There was no in­
crease. They merely raised it, that's
all.—Houston Chronicle.
The Missing Link.
"Them three men?" Farmer Border
replied to a question, "them's our farm
hands."
'"But," asked the cijy girl, "where's
the other one?"
"What other one?"
Why, there's alwayss a quartet of
them to sing the 'Old Oakan Bucket,"
isn't there?"
Natural Enough.
The tiger-skin
really
Tess—"Mrs. Foartey doesn'
show her age at all, does sho
Jess—"No it's not surprising, con
sidering all her trouble."
Tess—"You mean it is surprising
considering her troubles she's had."
Jes—"No, I mean considering all the
trouble she's taken to conceal it
A Bitter End.
rug—Well,
hang it!
To think that ^fter my noble career
I should be trampled upon by a thing
like this!—Jester.
Blocked.
"I'm afraid my hay fever is coming
on," said Kloseman, trying to get some
medical advice free of charge. "Every
once in a while I feel an itching in
Igay nose and then I sneeze. What
would* yon do in a case likeTthat, doc­
tor?"
"I feel pretty sure," replied Dr
Sharp, "that I would sneese, too."
Suspicious
Laiwson—"What kind of coffee do
you drink, Brazilian or1 Mocha?"
Dawson—"Yon wilihaye toask the
HOLD VA8T= UNCLAIMED WEALTH
Sums Held by English Banks Run
Into the Millions.
How many millions of pounds worth
of property lies unclaimed to-day in
the form of shares, dividends, depos­
its of money, plate and jewels in the
hands of bankers, companies, solici­
tors, auctioneers and others?
This is the fascinating question
raised yesterday by the writers of a
letter, who urge the Chancellor of the
Exchequer to lay hands upon the spoil
and devote it to the increase of na­
tional revenues.
Unclaimed wealth in the hands of
the crown and funds in chancery
amount to more than £50,000,000. Is
it possible that the funds in private
hands amount to an equally large
sum?
Some of the examples of hidden
wealth given by the writers of the
letter suggest that the amount must
at any rate be a large one. It is not,
apparently, the custom of companies
to search very far for the owners of
unclaimed dividends. Occasionally
the chairman of a company refers to
unclaimed amounts. In the case of a
building society the chairman an­
nounced at the annual meeting that
certain unclaimed money had been
utilized to form a reserve fund.
In fifty-five years," explained the
secretary of this society yesterday,
we have accumulated £5,000 of un­
claimed deposits. At any time we
are liable to be asked to refund this
and should do so with interest."—
London Daily Mail.
PARIS A WELL LIGHTED CITY.
Strange Contrast With Conditions in
Most American Cities.
Paris offers a strange contrast to
London (and to most American cities)
in the matter of street lighting. London
is woefully somber at night, except
at certain points where concert hills
and "gin mills" are numerous, where­
as Paris is brilliantly lighted every­
where. Nothing so astonishes the
American visitor as the long lines of
brilliant gas lamps (incandesant burn­
ers, all of which function perfectly)
reaching down each and every street
to sparkling perspectives of diamond
strings. Do you feel disposed to
shrug your shoulders and cry out,that
it is garish and unrestful? Please
don't. It is a grand success and a joy
forever. If you doubt it, come
A certain Rev. Mr. Fessenden had
been dropped by his flock when they
thought they had found a better man.
One Sunday the better man was un­
able to preach, so Rev. Mr. Fessenden,.
who still resided in the town, was
called upon to fill the pulpit for the
time.
One of the deacons, wishing to make
the change known to the congrega­
tion, inserted an advertisement in the
local paper, announcing that "owing
to Brother Jones' poor health, the pul­
pit will be filled to-morrow by the
late Mr. Fessenden."—Chicago Rec­
ord-Herald.
That Spooky Feelin'.
When ye're groin' home at dead o' night
an' ever'thing is still.
An' sorter heshed an' solemn an' ye feel
a kinder chill
A-creepin' up ye'r back-bone an' a-fillin'
ye with fear,
Say, don't ye step right lively when th*
graveyard's near?
Th' trees, they look so ghost-like as the'r
branches 'round they fling.
An' th' monyments seem waitin' fer
somebody or something.
An' th' air is damp an' cold-liV an' ye
hear a mournful cry.
I'll bet ye hustle lively when th' grave­
yard's nigh.
Ye kinder look across to see if ever'
thing's all right,
An' over there, beyond th' fence, gleams
somepin' ghostly white
Ye swaller hard—a awful lump—an' gasp
fer breath an' sigh,
An' I guess ye sorter hustle till th' grave­
yard's by.
Ye take a back'ard look, right quick, to
see what's comin' there,
Ye thought ye, heard, th'. rustle of a.step
behin' somewhere.
An' when ye see it's nothln' an' ye're
well beyont at last,
Ye sigh with glad relief becuz th* grave
yard's passed.
—Grace S. BostwicK.
4
Creditable.
This story is told by a resident of
Maryland, who vouches for its genu
jjieness:
During the, last session of Congress
two yqung ladies endeavored to gain
access to the Senate gallery. The
gouty old doorkeepr told them that
every seat was Jllled and -the only
cUKnce'tras to see 'some Senatori they
knew and get a card which would ad­
mit them to the private gallery.
'.But we don't know a single Sena­
tor," answered one of the young la-
dies.,
"Then that is to your credit,' young
ladies. .Walk Tight in. It is not often|l
•we sere ucjh ladies aiwndVlhe Caol- ft
irl
ir
over
here and see for yourselves. I have
carefully observed the placement of
lampposts and find that in some places
there is one every twenty feet in less
favored localities, one every forty or
fifty feet, while the little streets have
them at intervals of about 200 feet.
In the case, of the poor little streets
the lighting is, at the worst, admirable
not to say magnificent. What does
all this cost? It costs too much, from
our enlightened (or unlighted) point
of view. We are content to grope
about in the dark streets. The Par­
isian abhors darkness (as he should)
and is willing to pay for light, even
though he may pay pretty dearly for
it.
The Late Mr. Fessenden.
Out in one of the north shore sub­
urbs there is a negro church which
besides doing good work furnishes no
end of amusement for a large number
of the "white folks" because of some
of the eccentricities of a few of its.
members. One of the latest of these
is in the form of a church notice
which the colored brethren inserted
in a local paper not long ago.
u,
'MS
.i
r-
1

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