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Jfee prison plirror.
THURSDAY, SEPf. 18. 1808. PRIBON OFFICIALS. BOARD OF CONTROL. 8. W. LEAVETT, Chairman - - - Litchfield W E. LEE, Long Prairie ©, B. GOULD, Winona H. W. WRIGHT, - - - Secretary REBIDENT OFFIOIALB. HENRY WOLFER, Warden J. 8. GLENNON, - - - - Deputy Warden M. C. COLLIGAN, - - Asst. Deputy Warden HORACE W. DAVIS, - Clerk F. M. BORDWELL - - - - - - Steward B. J. MERRILL, ------- Physician MISS MARY McKINNEY. - - - - Matron S. J. KENNEDY, - - - Protestant Chaplain CHARLES CORCORAN, - Catholic Chaplain PRIBON AGENT. F. A. WHITTIER, St. Paul. CHURCH NOTICK. Services In the Prison Chapel at 9:00 o’clock every Sunday morning. Protestant and Catholic services every alternate Sunday. Rev. S. J. Kennedy, and Rev. Fr. Corcoran chaplains. LOCAL NEWS. J. E. Lundgren, of Alexandria, sheriff of Douglas county, visited The Mirror office last Monday. Guard Gallagher is away on furlough and his place at the soli tary is being filled by Guard New man. Capt. Whelan was at one time an instructor in the state School for the Feeble-Minded, and while connected with that institution made a study of the various phases of epilepsy. That he still can re call at will what he learned there was evidenced last Tuesday. On that day, as the men were going from the dining room to the cells at noon, he noticed that the lines on the face of one of the inmates were drawn in a peculiar manner, and turning to the Deputy who stood nearby he predicted that the man in question would have an attack of epilepsy in a few min utes. Before the orews had left the cellhouse for the shops the un fortunate man was taken with a violent fit and had to be removed to the hospital. The carious part of it was that Capt. Whelan timed the attack to the minute. Warden Wolfer Elected Just before President of N. P. O. the close of the National Prison Congress Tues day night Warden Wolfer was elected president. , The other officers are the following: General sacretary, John L. Milligan, Penn sylvania; assistant secretary, L. C. Storris, Michigan; treasurer, Chas. M. Jessup, New York. It was decided to hold the next convention at Louisville. Warden Wolfer left here to at tend the congress at Philadelphia last week. He was accompanied by Rev. S. G. Smith, D. D., of the state university, and Mr. F. L, Randall, superintendent of the St. Cloud reformatory. Movement of The records show Prison Population, three arrivals and three discharges during the week. Those who went out were J. J., 5211; M. O’T., 5674, and P. L., 5678. The population numbers 535 prisoners, who are graded as fol lows: First, 397; second, 129; and third nine. School Opens The prison night Por the Season, school opened for the season Monday evening with 132 pupils in attendance. Of this number 99 attended voluntarily and the ’remaining 33 are com pelled to attend, as they are serv ing sentences on the reformatory, or indeterminate, plan. There are fourteen classes presided over by inmates, while the entire school is under the supervision of Profes sor Steward. Deputy Warden Glennon, Assistant Deputy War den Colligan and Guards William Alexander, Bergeron, White and Backland will attend each session for the maintenance of discipline. Every indication points to a successful year. The pupils show an evident desire to study and im prove their time, and the teachers are ahxious to pnt forth their best efforts in behalf of the sohool. Monday morning Deputy War den Glennon cnll«-d the teachers to his office Mid interviewed eaoh one separately. He told them that in order to get the best re sults the active co-operation of officials and teachers is necessary, and gave them liberty to make any suggestions they might desire to offer. From now on school will be in session three evenings each week. a Prison Basket- In order to keep ball Team. j n g OCK J physical condition during the winter some of the officers of the prison purpose organizing a basketball team to have a series of matches with near by organizations of a like charac ter. There is material enough among them to put forth a. fast team, but the difficulty is to find a place to practice, the armory being the only building in Still water whioh is available for the purpose, and the use of that struc ture is, of course, dependant upon the convenience of the local militia company. If, however, this difficulty can be overcome the team will prob ably be organized. Four of the five players will most likely be Gnards Newman, Jenks, Whelan and Dr. Millet, all of whom have played before. The fifth man can easily be found among some of the gnards who are ex-football players. OR&ut&nquans Hold The local Ohau- Interesting Meeting, tauquans held a very creditable meeting last Sunday. The papers read were all above the average, both in subject, composition and delivery, while the discussions were spiiited and interesting. The music was, as usual, excellent. A paper on the American In dian was the first number on the program. The member who read it asserted that the Indian, ac cording to his belief, is retrograd ing, and gave his reasons for so thinking. The discussion that followed brought out divers opin ions on the subject and proved to be of interest to the majority of the members. This was followed by a solo and chorus, by the glee club, which was succeeded by a class report on the French revo lution. A solo by the tenor of the choir was the next number on the pro gram. Either the selection was admirably suited to his voice, or else he felt like singing, for he has seldom been in better voice than he was in this number. “Cardinal Riohelieu” was the title of the next number, a class report. As indicated by the title, the paper dealt with the career of the great French church man and diplomat, and was a scholarly exposition of the sub ject. A masterly class report entitled “Monopolies” was next read and discussed, and then the meeting was brought to a close with a chorus by the glee club and the report of the critic. The roll call showed two ab sentees. One new member was admitted. The next meeting, which will be the annual meeting, will be held on Sunday, September 28. The Mirror Among the visitors Register. who registered in The Mirror office during the past week were the following: Harry K. Mc- Evoy, J. C. McEvoy, Beloit, Wis.; J. Hi. McCaffrey, B. McCaffrey, St. Paul; Miss Louise Vaughan, Min neapolis; Mrs. Mary C. Jaeger, T. A. Jaeger, Cleveland, Ohio; Miss Maude L. Clymer, Duluth; Miss Alice Holen, Mies Daisey L. Carli, Stillwater; William J., Yanz, Hast ings, Minn.; Joseph Herz, St. Paul; Dave Harzberg, Baltimore, Md. HELIOGRAMS. BY THE “TWINS.** Most men were born. We never heard of but one who wasn’t, and he was made out of mud—just for a sample. A Philadelphia woman who was dissatisfied with the teeth fur nished her by nature had them pulled. Now she is almost frantic with grief. Her husband comes home late every night and she is unable to chew the rag. Giving advice is inexpensive and in most cases the returns are worthless. Aguinaldo made the mistake of his life when he sat for his picture with Admiral Dewey as the snap shot artist. Some women seem to think that a husband is better late than never. A man with a single idea is less of a bore than a man with only one idea. President Roosevelt says he loves the old-fashioned men and women. But the old-fashioned men and women, like the North American bison, are now almost extinct. In refusing to grant a New York man a divorce from his wife, a judge delivered himself of the following bit of wisdom: Marriage is a lottery and those that engage in it take the same chances as the person who bets on a horse race or any other game of chance. In this marriage deal it is evident that you got decidedly the worst of it, but be game and take your medicine like a man. Why do we never see a band oomposed of Irish musicians? Perhaps they would all want to be leaders. Strictly speaking a man caught in the act doesn’t derive much help from the quQtation, “God helps those who help themselves.” There is a young man in Stillwater Saw a horse in a lot and he cater Now he says, “I declare, ’twas a boney old mare,” And he thinks that he hadn’t ater. Another young man with a knife, Carved a Swede within an inch of his klife The judge said, “Five years,” And he broke into tears, ‘ And murmured “O think of my kwife.” On a western reservation the other day a young Indian woman by the name of Little Cat Not Afraid of a Mouse threw a pan of dishwater in the face of another squaw who had alienated the affection of her husband. This is a good sign, but the Indian maid en will never be civilized until she substitutes a bottle of acid for the pan of dishwater. Some juries are like the small boy’s definition of a vacuum — nothing locked up in an empty box. An exchange says that cupid for the sixth time has led an Ohio woman to the altar. If familiarity with a thing fits a person for office she should be appointed overseer of the matrimonial pike. The divorce court lawyer is an indispensible aid to a gentile com munity, but in a mormon colony he would starve to death. As a freak state Kansas is to the front again. One of the greatest attractions at the state fair re cently held in that state was a crazy quilt made by the women inmates of the insane asylum. WHAT THE BARTENDER SEES. REPRINTED FkOM HEARST’S CHICAGO AMERICAN. A YOUNG man with a cold fftce, much nervous energy, and a tired-of-the world expression leans over the polished, silver-mounted drinking bar You look at him and order your drink. You know what you think of him, and you think you know what he thinks of you. Did you ever stop to think of ALL THE STRANGE HUMAN BEINGS besides yourself that pass before him ? He stands there as a sentinel, business man, detective, waiter, general enter tainer, and host for the homeless. In comesa young man, rather early in the day. He is a little tired—up too late the night before. He takes a cocktail. Ho tells the bartender that he does not believe in cocktails. He never takes in fact. “The bitters in the cocktail will eat a hole through a thin handkerchief —pretty bad effect on your stomach, eh?” and so on. Out goes the young man with the cocktail inside of him. And the bartender KNOWS that that young man, with his fine reasoninga and his belief in himself, is the confirmed drunkard of year after next. Ho has seen the beginning of many such cocktail philosophers, and the ending of the same. The way NOT to be a drunkard is never to taste spirits. The bartender knows that. But his customers do NOT know it. * « « At another hour of the day there comes in the older man. This one is tho fresh faced, YOUNG oldish man. He has small gray side whiskers. He shows several people—whom he does not know—his book of commutation tickets. He changes his mind suddenly from whisky to lemonade. The bartender prepares the lemon slowly, and the man changes his mind back to whisky. Then he tries to look more dignified than the two younger men with him.. In the midst of the effort he begins to sing “The Heart Bowed Down with Weight of Woe,” and he tells the bartender “that is from ‘The Bohemian Girl.”** He sings many other selections, occasionally forgetting his dignity, and occasionally remembering that he is the head of a most respectable home — partly paid for. The wise man on the outside of the bar suggests that the oldish man will get into trouble. But the bartender says: “No, he will go home all right. Bnthe won’t ting all the way there. About, the time he sets home he’ll realize what money he ha* spent, and you would not like to be hie wife. It won’t be any songs that she’ll get.” The bartender KNOWS that the oldish man—about fifty-one or two —has- escaped being a drunkard by mere accident, and that he has not quite escaped yet. A little hard luck, too much trouble, and he’ll lose his balance, forget that there IS lemonade, and take to whisky permanently, s * * £ At the far end of the bar there is the man who coines in slowly and passes his hand over his face nervously. The bartender asks no question, but pushes, out a bottle of every-day whisky and a small glass of water. The whisky goes down. ‘A shiver follows the whisky and a very little of the water follows the shiver. The man goes out with his arms close to hifr sides, his gait shuffling, and his head hanging. It has taken him less than three minutes to buy, swallow and pay for a. liberal dose of poison. Says the bartender: “That fellow had a good business once. Doesn’t look it, does he? Jim over there used to work for him. But he couldn’t let it alone.” The “IT” mentioned is whisky. Outside in the cold that man, who couldn’t let it alone, is shuffling his way against the bitter wind. And even in his poor sodden brain reform and wisdom, are striving to be heard. His soul and body are sunk far below par. His vitality is gone, never to return. The whisky, with its shiver that tells of the shock to the heart, lifts him up for a second. He has a little false strength of mind and brain, and that strength is used to mumble good resolutions. He THINKS he will stop drinking. He thinks he could easily get money backing if he gave up drinking for good. He feels and really believes that ho WILL stop drinking. Perhaps he goes home, and for the hundredth time makes a poor woman believe him, and makes her weep once more for joy, as she has wept many times from sorrow. But the bartender KNOWS that that man’s day has gone, and that Niagara River could turn back as easily as he could remount the swift stream that ia sweeping him to destruction. « « « Five men come in together. Each asks of all the others: “What are you going to have?” The bartender spreads out his hands on the edge of the bar, attentive and prepared to work quickly. Every man insists on “buying” something to drink in his turn. Each takes what the others insist on giving him. Each thinks that he is hospitable. But the bartender KNOWS that those men belong to the Great American, Association for the Manufacture of Drunkards through “treating.” Each of these men might perhaps take his glass cf beer, or even something worse, with relative safety. But as stupidly as stampeded animals pushing each other over a precipice, each insists on buying poison in his turn. And every one spends his money to make every other one, if possible, a hard drink ing and a wasted man. « « « You, Mr. Reader, have seen all these types and many others, have you not? WHY did you see them ? What REASON had you.for seeing them ? The bartender stands studying the procession to destruction because he must make his living that way. He is a sort of a clean-aproned Charon on a whisky Styx, ferrying the multitude to perdition on the other side of the river. But what is YOUR business there? You might as well be found inside an opium den. The drink swallowed at the bar braces you, does it? If you think you need a drink, you REALLY need sleep, or better nourishment, or you need to» live more sensibly. Drink will not give you what you need. It may for a moment make your nerves cease tormenting you. It may do in your system, for an hour what opium does in the Chinese for a whole day. But if it lifts yoik up high, it drops you down HARD. And remember: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MODERATE DRINKING AT A BAR. You THINK you can take your occasional drink safely and philosophize about the procession that passes the bartender. But the bartender KNOWS that you are no different from the others. They all began as you are beginning They all, in the early stages, despised, their own forerunners. They were once as you are, and the bartender KNOWS that the chances are all in favor of your being eventually like one of them. Even like the poor, thin, nervous drinker of hard whisky, who once won dered why men drink too much. « « « The bartender’s procession is a sad one, and you who still think yourself safe are the saddest atom in the line, for you are there without sufficient excuse It is a long procession, and its end is far off. It is born of the fact that life is dull, competition is keen, and ambition so often ends in sawdust failure. r A better chance for struggiers, a more generous reward for hard work* better organization of social life, solution of the grqgt unsolved problem of real civilization, will end the procession. Meanwhile, keep out of it if you can. And be glad if it can be suspended temporarily at least, on Sundays.