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IT HAS been said that every man is at one time in his life a hero. Bat that is not the rea son why I narrate [ the fol lowing incident. I relate the following—believing that every reader enjoys reading a reminis cence. In the spring of ’B9 eighteen "thousand head of dogies (Texas cattle) were temporarily grazing in the vicinity of Orange Junction, Wyoming. They were the prop erty of various cattle companies and had been brought from Texas via the C. R. A. Railroad, which terminated at Orange Junction. Five thousand of these dogies be longed to the X. Y. Z. cattle com .pany, whose range was in the northern part of North Dakota and the eastern part of Montana. At this time I was in the employ of the aforesaid company, and this was my first experience in trailing cattle from the junction to the company’s range. On the morning of May 2nd, the boss gave orders to mount and round-up the dogies for the start. The ponies were fresh and the boys were in high spirits. It was but a short time until we were on our way north with the five thou - sand head of dogies. The other • outfits also began their drive at • the same time. As the boys of ‘the different outfits separated, it became, seemingly, necessary to bid each other an effectionate good by. This was done by a liberal • discharge of firearms and loud f hurrahs. Whenever a cowboy "loomed up on a distant knoll a general discharge of firearms fol lowed, but this ceased about elev en o’clock and we began the drive in earnest. For three weeks we wended our way across the rolling prairie. On May 23rd, we camped at the forks of the Cannon Ball and White Rivers, in North Dakota. The dogies were weary and foot sore. The boys resorted to vari ous ways of -arousing them. For a time the firing of guns and yell ing was effective. But on this memorable night—memorable to me —the boss decided to remain in camp the following day and let the dogies rest up. We were but five days’ drive from the company’s home ranch —our destination. Nothing of moment had occurred to mar the pleasure of the drive. This fact was perhaps the reason why we relaxed our vigilance. In stead of the usual four men, only iiwo were detailed at a time for the night watch; and the watch was lengthened from two to four .hours. ■Supper over, the horse wrangler picketed several ponies and de parted with the others for the night’s grazing. The sun was dropping low when Gordon and Pike McPherson mounted their ponies and set out for the herd on the opposite side of the river. They were to stand guard from half past seven until eleven o’clock, when Shorty Burns“and I were to relieve them and remain on duty until half past two, then two others were to relieve us. The fact of an idle day on the morrow was the reason that the boys sat up until about ten o’clock regaling each other with the inci dents of the past. But as we were to stand watch that night, Shorty and I “rolled in” early. When we rolled up in our tarpaulins that evening we were convinced that the night was going to be fine. Not a cloud was visible. At a quarter to eleven Shorty kioked me in the ribs and tapped me on the head with his forty four. It being a rule among cow- boys to “do what you do.” Shorty did what he intended to —woke me up. When I protested about his method he said: “Come, come, kid; it’s eleven, and we have got to relieve the boys.” A few minutes later we relieved Gordon and Pike McPherson. In reply to our que ry, “How’s everything?” Pike said: “Critters on the south side are mighty nervous; you fellows have got to keep your optics peeled.” Then, to scare me, Gor don said: “See those clouds pil ing up in the northeast, kid? You are sure in for a time tonight. Shouldn’t be surprised if the dogies stampeded. Mighty good thiDg you’re on Montana; (name of the pony I was riding) he knows more than some men; been in sev eral stampedes and knows this country better ’an I do.” Before that night ended Gordon’s words were verified. , Shorty and I rode around the herd. They were acting queer. The night was soon as black as pitch. Clouds rolled up and my how it did thunder! We de cided to separate. Shorty rode around to the opposite side of the herd and then yelled: “All right, kid! start;” I did. For more than an hour we circled around the herd. About midnight it began to rain. The herd started to move southward. At half past twelve o’clock it was pouring. At about one o’clock the herd was going. I had not seen Shorty since we separated and I was becoming alarmed. “Eh! Shorty!” I yelled, “those blamed leaders are going and I can’t head them off.” Of course Shorty didn’t hear me; but he had concluded that the dogies were about to stampede, so he be gan firing his pistol to arouse the other boys. The firing of that forty-four, the flashing of lightning, and the peals of thunder, sure started the herd agoing. Shorty was in the rear while I was on the side of the herd. I rode toward the rear, but soon met Shorty, who said: “Fol low me.” Montana wheeled and followed Shorty’s pony. We were going at a rapid gait. We came to a ditch and both ponies floun dered. Just then a flash of light ning, momentarily lit up the scene. Shorty was as pale as a lily and seeing me said: “They’re sure ’nough gone this time, kid; don’t get in front of those dogies; I can’t hold this blamed broncho.” When the ponies floundered, Mon tana had slipped the bit. He soon regained his feet and away we went, I simply held on to the pommel of the saddle and mental ly vowed to give up cowpunching if I pulled .through the night. Right there. Gordon’s words, “Montana has more sense than some men,” were verified. The little pony was gritty as well as experienced and started to circle the herd. I found myself along side of a dogie. Montana grad ually began to turn this critter. Flashes of lightning enabled me to get my bearing. I was direotly in front of five thousand stamped ing dogies. About twenty were some thirty feet in advance of the others, and Montana was trying to circle these leaders. Across gullies, through oreeks, brush, and over knolls at a terrific rate we went. If the pony had lost his footing we would have been trampled to death by that oncoming herd. For hours we kept up this mad flight. We had plunged through several creeks; 'finally we emerged from the Little Cedar, twelve miles from where we started, and had a level stretoh of country ahead of us for five j miles. Had we entered the foot hills, five miles ahead of us, the dories would have become separ ated, and then—but we never reached those foothills, for Mon tana got the herd to circling. "Still the stampeding dogies con tinued their mad rush. The rain ceased; the dawn ap peared, and the dogies got over their scare. For more than six hours I had been facing death with that stampeding herd at my heels. Now that the stampede was over I began looking for the other boys. Not a man was in sight, so I waited. I hadn’t long to wait, for Gordon and Pike Mc- Pherson soon appeared, followed by others. Gordon said: “I told you that the dogies would stam pede last night, didn’t I?” I said: “Where’s Shorty?” “Oh! he’s in camp,” replied Gordon; “broke his leg last night when his pony fell in the gully; but managed to get to camp and told us the herd had probably trampled you to death.” Two hours later I was at the camp eating breakfast, while others were fetching up the herd. While I remained in the employ of the X. Y. Z. cattle company, I was the hero of the outfit. I had, on a dark, stormy night and single handed, quelled a stampeding herd of five thousand Texas dogies. In telling of my adventure the boys would say: “Those Texas dogies may be ‘rare horses,’ but the kid kept them together all night and at daybreak had them peacefully grazing along the Little- Cedar.” However, after that night I treated Montana like a prince, and a few months later, when lost in a blizzard, he piloted me to safety. That was a thrilling night’s ride; and when it comes to quelling a stampede—excuse me. E. D. Surprise. How passing strange It seemed to me, I never shall forget, That day I went out in the rain And found that it was wet! —Lippincott’s Magazine Muldoon’s Obesity. Since me last iliction I hov ac cumylated so much sooperfluous corpulince that I resimble an obasity frake in a muzayum. ’Tis only thru me candid frankniss that the pooblic becomes aware av me rale weight. Joost the same I hov no scrooples in sayin’ that I always waz pridjoodiced aginst surplus flesh, whither it groos on the neighboor’s babby or a hawg, ’tiz immaterial which; it shows a glutonous over-indulgince anny way. Personally spakin’, it imbar rasses wans movemints, analogous to causin’ all kinds av vulgar corn mint. B’gorry ’twaz only yister day that a brickfist food agint an’ a soap facthory magnate precipy tated aich other into a terriffic combat thryin’ to ingage me serv ices fer a walkin’ tistymonial. I acknowlidge me bist complimints whin annywan recognizes me jan yus, but bad cess to the spalpeen that’s afther takin’ me fer a staple arthical. Remimber, “hill hath no fury like an ould man scoorned.” The countiss wanted to know why I didn’t soo thim fer dam ages? Faith, how cud I whin me weight isn’t ethayreal? It wud only be a case av littin’ histoory 'repate itself annyhow, fer the joodge wud say: “Muldoon, pay the costs an’ foor or five times fer contimpt.” Ye see, I am hin picked on all sides, pro an’ con. Whin a man’s deminsion oom mince to ixpand like a soft roober bawl ’tiz time to diet the systim on wather or take the alternative, namely, fatty degineration. Bein’ more or liss conscientious ly inclined, I first ascertained if There are very tew who command as much “tick” as the tele graph operators. A Chicago police justice is that “sore” on corset dudes that Jae has announced that no mercy will be shown to a prisoner known to be a scapegrace of that fad. That’s right, jedge, lace it to ’em. The Boston Globe looks forward to the time when lobsters will become extinct. Lobsters are born every minute, and the Globe should ease the minds of its many readers to that effect. A woman is suing for divorce because she objeots to being contin ually kissed by her husband. He should be examined immediately as to his sanity —something is radically wrong in this instance. The engagement of his nibs, K ing Alfonso, has again been an nounced. This makes the ’steenth time, and the whiskers on this an cient gag are growing white around the edges. Charles M. Schwab has invested $150,000 in a silver dinner set. And now his wife avers that she could have made the purchase for $149,999.98. He has since made good, however, and they are again on speaking terms. The infants of the seleot class may be born with a silver spoon in their mouths, while the humbler ones make their grand entree with a plain every-day wooden laddie in their gob. Halloween night was not observed in the customary manner in odr little community and everything was found in its usual place next morning—even from the wheels of the tenants in the crank cells ta those on the auto of our local street commissioner. The lid is off in Cincinnati, an item saying that the women go shopping without wearing hats. If they would be so thoughtful while attending the opera they would receive the thanks of the theatre-go ing public in general. It is said that several students, members of the Cornell football squad, are on the shelf suffering from the effects of sunstroke. Well, the sun is generally included in the number of planets to be seen when the players are in the heat of the battle on the gridiron. Three deaf and dumb girls were arrested and lodged in jail in Chicago last week charged with shoplifting. Various means have been tried in hopes of extorting a confession from the trio, but they insist on strict silence. It has not as yet been decided when they will be given a hearing. A Virginia warrior, ninety-nine years old and father of forty-four ohildren, is again in the arena seeking a suitable wife. Altho decor ated with numerous battle scars received in former matrimonial ven tures, this venerable hero intends to remain game to the last. Here’s ho! me demise wad cause another catastrophe amoong inshurince coompaynies befoor procaydin’ to take spicial notice av me prevailin' symtons. The most painful wan waz a booz-saw sinsation that tuk root in the occipytal dome an’ mi grated to me tribly fate wid remarkable rapidity. It waz diffy cult to detict whither it waz a germ or only a bacteria, ayther wan or both, it shure had wan thousan’ ligs. Afther a private consultation wid me sicretary I made a scientific diagnosis av the case mesilf an’ wid the same aise prescribed an antidootal rimidy. A chimical analysis av the ingraydyints is un nicissary, as it waz a quart av as soorted pills. There wur white wans fer the liver, grane wans fer appindysaytus, in faot annythin’ from yillow faver to spots in froont av the eyebawls had i£s corry spondint color in a pill. Faith, I didn’t know what kind av a pistylintial dizase I might be afthfer hovin’, so I tuk thim all re spictively. Yis, an’ all av thim pills comminced to oppyrate in harmonyous unison, I conthracted what midycal mm termed, “coincy dintal sicondary relapse,” that is, whin I swallied all av thim col lictively it parylized me vital functions an’ indooced timporary coaliscince av ivery dizase they waz ixpicted to cure, in conse quince I filt like a goovernmint hospital. Me spasmodycal convulsions alarmed the countiss an’ she tilly phoned fer a docther at wanst. A glanoe at me symtons tould him that an immaydiate injiotion av roober gas pipe wud be most iffy casoious treatmint, an’ aoooording ly stook a yard av it down my thoorax. While he pdomped pills, me wife wroong her hands wid tearfnl protistation, an’ in the FRAQMENJS.... manetime I sunk mesilf into peaceful oblivion. Fer sivin days an’ sivin nights, do yez mind, I waz compilled to repose on the pizen side av a mustard plaster re gardliss av the painfulniss to me fizzycal personality. Me misery waz pityful to be hould, ispicially wan day whin Grogan an’ his shover missed the road wid their autymobile an’ col lided wid the shroobery in me froont yard. It wud hov wint will at that, but the doom thin’ ix plooded killin’ the neighboor’s cat on me primises—the bist possyble grounds fer a law soot —besides creatin’ a havoc in gineral. Enoughs enough an’ too much is plinty. Yis b’gorry, an’ me shiv alrous nature called fer a white man’s revinge. Tho a paceful man at home, I intinted to sacri fice me womanly instink be chal- $ v " lingin’ Grogan to anny ould kind av combat his fable mind wud suggist. Antissypatin’ an overwhilmin’ victoory wid me antagonist, I con cintrated me mind on loosin’ flish an’ convalisced soofishintly to re move the plaster. Grogan sint over a pick av sthring-banes yis terday. I prezoom he smills a rat an’ is wantin’ to comprymize. E. E. H. Ah Irishman was at work on a tJ hoisting machine that carried hods s of bricks to the top of a building, and brought them down empty. Happening to get caught he was carried to the top floor, and in the orderly but rapid progress of the machine was brought to the ground rather suddenly. A fellow- j < workman leaned from the second story scaffolding and oried: “Are you hurt, Pat?” “You go to the devvlel” shouted Pat. “I passed you twice and ye niver spoke to me.”— Ex. By BIU Nye, Jr.