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SMILE AND HOPE.
BO pawer possessed by mortal man is so great As courage to battle with an adverse fate, To smile when sorrow bids the tears to rise, To hope when darkness o’er the future lies. Brave is the heart that suffering Bhall conceal, Childish the whimperings that our faults reveal. Most mbery springs from conceptions, mean, untrue, Clouds that to a selfish mind accrue. Who loves the mistress that when the day be done Receives complainingly the wage you’ve won? Smile and a smile shall be returned Growl, and growling by the world be spurned, lmmorta' the hero, whin of all bereft, Shall smile though he struggles in the grip of death. Rope be thy motto till thy life shall be Quenched in the waters of an Eternal Sea. SIDE LIGHTS |feEEEI End's philosophy is making the rounds of the institutional press. Capt. Whelan saye playing ball “is good for what ails ye in tbe good old summer time. Tailor Nelson’s chief Taylor in the wash foundry leaves in Novem ber, after a protracted stay. Davy says he couldn’t think of passing the summer here without wearing tan shoes and a straw hat. Tongues are the only things Young Butch smokes besides to bacco. All would be forgiven if he could reach the right tongues once in a while. . The colored waiter in the officers kitchen, who by the way, is a vaudevillian by profession, answers to the call of Mr. Waldorf with gimp, ginger and lacrity. “I’ve got the rheumatism in my shoulder, suh,” said the colored chef, “and it will stay there for about eighteen months more, suh, yessuh, Ab reckon. An inquirer asks: “How many of his wives does Brigham Young, jr., expect to meet him at the gate?” Brigham probably does not know himself. Chief Engineer Schatz says if he could corral all the steam that is blown off by the boys he would n’t need any boilers to run the engines. Ob, Scha(w)-tz The Deputy Warden’s chief clerk is so busy these days he does not even take time to eat. He thrives on hard work and the latest news regarding baseball in the big leagues. Sired by Patsy Boliver, dammed by Mrs. Hetty Green, Mrs. Belva Lockwood and Mrs. Carrie Nation are the young canaries in The Mirror office but they are praised by all who see them. Uncle Johu and Old Butch are apparently better blowers than sprinters. Old Butch backed out of the Decoration Day footrace because he had a sore finger. No one asked him to run on his hands. Cassier s Magazine, an engineer ing monthly, is coming to The Mirror office on exchange. The parent magazine is an English pro duction. Cassier’s is one of the best things that comes out of Lon don. Mr. V., at the Hospital is keep ing his phonograph goiDg at a lively clip. He says the way to get rid of noises is to drown one noise with another. But ‘ music hath charms to soothe the savage breast.” The fellow who said some time ago that the first thing he would do when he got out would be to eat a pound of butter got a parole recently. He will probably find that a harder job than eating bread without butter. It is hard for some of the pa role boys to stay on the payroll The rock-candy kid says he feels “solid” now—since a new floor has been put in the press room. He is the strong man oi: the tavern and hasn’t backed a woodpile for lo! these many years. And Guards Bloom, Burns anc Brostrom not on the roster of the Guard Gorillas, to say nothing of Prof. Burchard! Such a B—usir ness! And there’s Guard Hartley. He’s broad enough to make a bul ly backstop or sandwich man. Bill Barlow is sending his Sage Brush Philosophy to the inmates on account of exchange with The Mirror. Bill says: “Just let this sorter sink into your soul: The mummy ain’t had no fun for moren five thousand years.” “How do you keep such good track of your hour out on the gal leries?” asked Guard Vollmer of a compatriot. “You are always back on the dot.” “Oh,” replied the feller addressed, “I have be come an expert in timeology.” Capt. Whelan picked up a card the other day which bore this inscription in text and illustration: “I am W. H. Bose —who the Devil are you?” If addressed to a cer tain inmate he might respond: “A cipher with the rim lost between here and St. Paul.” Guard Goldsmith says the color ed base and snare drummers are happy because they each have an opportunity of pounding a white skin. A'so that base and snare drummers are unpopular on railway trains because they are apt to try to beat their way through. Capt. Alexander, they say, drop ped iuto a barber chair to have his hair trimmed, unconsciously keeping his hat on. “Oh, excuse me,” he said. “I’ll remove my chapeau,” observing in the look ing glass that he had it on. “Never mind,” said the barber* “I can trim it just as well with your hat on.” Louise Liddell in the Nautilus says How to Be Happy is to “Never trouble trouble, Till trouble troubles you”— Injunction optimistic ’Tis well to keep in view. There’s only one thing better, Oh! mortal man, to do — | To never trouble trouble I When trouble troubles you. “Ah say, suh, some of my friends here complain of the quietude of the place, suh, yessuli. They have never been in the Doldrums, suh, nosuh. It is so quiet there some times, suh, that an inaudible noise often listens like a peal of thunder, heah, suh, yessuh. Ah left the Doldrums at the equator, suh, only to fall iuto ’em heah, suh, yessuh. The Doldrums and ” seem to be pals, suh, yessuh, I said the colored chef. Diamond Dust. By R. L. Kansas City has sold Cy Neigh bors to the Mobile Club of the Southern League. Chicago players say Bowerman is the cause of the Boston Doves present position and condition. Andy Coakley the ex-Cub is now an outlaw. Andy signed with ewberg of the Eastern Associa tion. Second Baseman Evers of the Cubs was suspended by Actiug 'Pres. Heydler for telling the truth to the umps. Manager Fred Clark of the Pirates traded outfielder Ward Miller to Cincinnati for southpaw Blain Durbin. Since Jiggs Donohue joined the Washington mob he is breaking bats and splintering the fences with singles and doubles. Sporting Sun says the Reds are getting so.numerous that Manager Griff has to be introduced to his hired help about twice a day. St. Louis knockers who never had a good thing to say of Charley Hemphill when he was a Brown are still trying to make him mad. Catcher Jack McLean lost his hold on the water wagon when it hit the unpaved streets. Griff is now hustling for another backstop. Leon Ames of the Giants will soon be a Cardinal if the wireless is workiug right. The big twirler and little Mac are sassy to each other. When the skypilots started to fight Sunday ball at Indianapolis. Pres. Watkins offered them invita tions to a Sabbath game for re venge. Catcher Pat Livingstone secured by Connie Mack from Indianapolis looks like the goods. He is quick as a cal, a fine thrower and some hitter. Mique Doulin is practicing daily with the Frisco club of the Coast League and is reported to be in fine fettle. “Vos is der excuse Mike?” Walsh and White of the White Sox, Pat Moran of the Cubs, and Mathewson of the Giants, are go ing into vaudeville at the close of the season. Murray of the Giants made four teen hits in the last eight games while his team mate, Fred Tenny, made three homeruns during the same period. That little burg, New York, contains three third sackers hard to beat, in Elberfield of the Yanks, Lennox of Brooklyn and Devlen of the Giants. McConnell, second sacker for the Boston Red Sox,, is laid up with a broken rib. Freuch is subbing at second for him and showiug class. Rudy Hulswitt continues to play a great game at short for the Cardinals. Maybe Griff made a mistake about his being all in as a big leaguer. Rumors of dissension in the Tiger camp have been numerous lately. The old hands are sore over the way Hugbie has been favoring the recruits. Stanley Robinson, President of the St. Louis Cardinals is tickled over the showing of Roger’s Kids and the card bugs have the same feeling for the ginger boy. Hnsk Chance offered Griff, of Cincy, Ruelbach for Bob Spade. “If you will throw in Artie Hoff man for good measure. I’ll think it over,” replied the Red Chief. ..." HELIOGRAMS % Fido makes a mighty poor mascot for the matrimonial bark. The speeches of the blind Senator from Oklahoma are intel eotual eye openers. Eve was evidently a Suffragette and could not resist the tempta tion of shaking the plum tree. It takes all the romance out of a runaway match when the young couple have to walk back home. Rebecca’s father must have been a milkman from whom she in herited her fondness of hanging out by a well. During his term of office District Attorney Jerome bagged a large number of guttersuipes but not odo big vulture. Never judge a man by the clothes he wears, because the patches on a man’s pants do not necessarily prove that he is a backslider. The good people in the prohibition territory of the South are having their troubles trying to make the blind pig see the error of his ways. A man with no religion may be a dangerous mau, but not more so tlmo a man with too much relieion. Adam God who was recently sent to prison for twenty years is a fair sample of the man with too much religion. The prison barber says that when Si Haskell arrived here he grew a very large crop on his chin and that after mowing them down with his McCormick he threshed them and got enough hayseed to feed his pet canary for six months. A young woman in Illinois who had her husband arrested for nonsupport told the Judge that her spouse was not worth thirty cents. A week later hubby was killed by the cars and his bereaved wife sued the railroad company for fifty thousand dollars. When a young man in Africa pops to his Lulu and is accepted, he places an engagement ring on the big toe of her left foot and when other admirers see this ring they fade away, because they know that some other “Oholly-boy” of the jungles has her in tow. I believe that if our city fathers were kicked out of office and their places filled- with city mothers, the corruption that now exists in our municipal governments would fade away like the complexion of a Caucasian beauty who is caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella. A city is a public child and you can gamble on it that the city motheis would make the municipal kid keep it’s nose clean and not allow it to play marbles with the corporation boys, because they know these boys would grampoxe all the cornelians and lucky agates. The Jane number of the Bjok- Keeper is overflowing with ex cellent reading of a valuable character. experience r ”rf"’ 1 Copyrights Ac. Anyone sending a sketch and description may fln «Aifiv ascertain our opinion free wnetner an SHsasSr t wfiiSWs« ■« fc «sri*=2jra&« special notice, without charge. In the Scientific American. U3S3I£SRS&JSs£& M»lS.te , rrJ.6«l? rk WHAT ABOUT YOUR VACATION DO YOU KNOW WHERE TO GO, HOW TO QO, WH AT TO TAKE, WHAT IT WILL COST AND THE DOZEN AND ONE OTHER THINGS THAT MAKE OR iTAR A VACATION ? All this information can be had for the adrmg through RECREATION'S INFORMA TION BUREAU and absolutely without cost to you; the only condition is that you are a reader of RECREATION either by sub scription or by purchase at your newsdealers. JUNE NUMBER OF RECREATION i, the GREAT VACATION NUMBER and contains more valuable and accurate in formation on outdoor vacations, and reliable and interesting articles on all dean, wholesome recreation than was ever before published in any magazine. ALL THE ARTICLES AND ALL THE UNUSUAL PIC TURES (OF WHICH THERE ARE MORE THAN 100) ARE FURNISHED BY MEN WHO HAVE “BEEN THERE. ” 6400 SQUARE INCHES OF LIVE OUTDOOR ARTICLES AND PICTURES IN THIS JUNE NUriBER. We want you to become acquainted with RECREATION and all fa helpfulness. This June number, especially, is a gem and the greatest value for the money you ever saw. BUY THE JUNE NUMBER AT ANY NEWSDEALER’S. IF HE CANNOT SUPPLY YOU, SEND US 25 CENTS AND WE WILL SEND YOU A COPY BY RETURN fIAIL. - RECREATION 24 West 39th Street New Yof* F. M. Band and Orchestra. Another band disap peared last week. He did not break out —but was paroled. The band runner is very enthu siastic over his first article, read before the Chautauqua Circle. His appetite has left him and he has not been able to sleep since. What He Says.. Not so beega, moocha gran’, Ees a D Ago fruitta stan\ Sell peanutta an’ banan’, Mak’ a dees lan'. Mebbe so hedfh no for like Fresha ’Meiican for fight, Dago man ees so excit’, Use steeletta leftta, right. Dago man heem like for eat Som’ banan’ eef nice an’ sweet, Mak’ heem ran so moocha fleet, Alla ’Mericans ees beat. —Acrobatus. Latest Base Ball news. Following are the percentage tables of games won and lost showing the standing of the clubs in the leading leagues up to and in cluding last Monday’s scores: National League. Won. Lost. Pet. Pittsburg 35 12 -74 f Chfeago 31 18 ,633 New York - 23 20 .548 Cincinnati 27 24 .529 Philadelphia 21 23 .477 St. Louis 19 " 3 ° ,388 Brooklyn 17 28 .378 Boston 12 32 * 273 AMERICAN LEAGUE. Won. Lost. Pet. Detroit-.-. 30 16 ’ 652 Philadelphia 23 19 ,568 New York 23 19 343 Boston 24 2 * Cleveland 22 22 Chicago 19 23 St. Louis I 8 2b Washington 14 28 ,333 American Association. Won. Lost. Pet. Indianapolis 34 24 - 38 ® Milwaukee 34 24 ,56 Louisville 29 27 * 5lB f Columbus 30 29 .508 Minneapolis 27 28 .491 Toledo 26 28 .481 Kansas City 23 30 .434 St. Paul 19 30 388 WANTED —Trustworthy man or woman in each county to advertise, receive orders and manage business for New York Mail Order House. slß.op weekly: position permanent: no investment re quired. previous experience not essential to en gaging. Spare time valuable. Enclose self ad dressed envelope for full particulars. Address Clarke Co.. Wholesale Dep.. 103 Park Ave. NS YORK. .529 .477 .388 .378 .273