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ji U/ye Mirror I | Thursday, Dec* 23. I9 (| l>. \ [PRISON OFFICIALS. ■■ j BOARD OF OONTROL.. CHARLES HALVORSON - - Dawson 5 P. M. RINGDAL - - - Crookston !' C. E. VASALY * Litile Falls i [ J. D. Mills, Secretary !| REBIDENT OFFICIALS. !' HENRY WOLFER, - - - Warden <! J. BACK LAND, - - Deputy Warden !' J. J. SULLIVAN, Asst. Deputy Warden '1 H. W. DAVIS, Clerk and Acct. Officer !» T. W. ALEXANDER, - - Steward i\ B.J\ MERRILL, - - - Physician J» MISS MARY McKINNEY, - Matron <[ CHAS. CORCORAN, Cath. Chaplain ( ! C.R. BENSON, Protestant Chaplain Ji PRIBON AQENT. < J. Z. BARNCARD, - - - St. Paul Cbapel Service. The following is the program of the service held in the chapel bun day, Dec. 12, Rev. 0. E. Benson officiating: March —Jingles Orchestra Doxology Congregation Invocation Chaplain Gloria Congregation Scripture Chaplain Hymn— Trust in Jesus. That is All.. Congregation Intermezzo —Nubiana, J. Europe Orchestra Prayer. Chaplain Anthem —Jerusalem, G, Homer Choir Sermon Chaplain Hymn—Abide With Me Congregation Benediction Chaplain March—Tooeka Orchestra Local News. Thank you! The same to you! Christmas this week. Do your shoplifting early. Newyear’s day, like Christmas falls on Saturday. Strike or no strike business goes on here just the same. Guard Stilkey is keeping the Bteam moving all right. Business is brisk with the West ern Shoe Co. —as always. The Christmas number of the St. Louis Mirror is a hummer. Musicians are wanted for the band and orchestra. Apply to Prof. Burchard. Guard Hill, the Man with the Key, has been on duty nights dur ing the past week. . The Saturday Evening Post is running some splendid reading matter these days. Guard Goldsmith’s contingent increased perceptibly as soon as the weather moderated. Moving picture show Christmas morning at 8 30, according to spe cial airless communication. The occupant of 619 would like to have someone send him the American Weekly of San Francis co. The Man with the Key and the Expounder of the Constitution seem to be happy all the time — now. The local fire department enjoy ed a few false alarm exercises late ly. The fire laddies are quick re sponders. Fingy—Tailor Nelson’s deputy runner —is one of the most oblig ing and accommodating fellows hereabouts. Davy says: “When I get out oJ: here lam going to stay out.” He added: “Anyway, until the New Prison is done.” Supt. Williams says he has heard that the old twine is fre quently fed to spring chickens —judging fron way some wo men talk. Young Steady says the fingers he smashed some time ago are now better than ever, but he says he does not want to repeat the dose of smashing them again. Lorcl Roscoe says he is con templating taking a sail down the Mississippi in the Spring. He has added “to the gaiety of nations” while here. Twenty years ago last Friday Guard Stilkey began the duties of guard here. He said: “I had twenty cents then and have but ten cents now.” The report of the committee on the* selection of the Chautauqua paper to be sent to The Spectator, Chicago, will be printed in The Mirror next week. “I am ze seek feller—oh, so seek,” repeated Montie the other day. “Never mind,” said a neighbor, “we’ll make a new man of you be fore you leave here.” The Deputy’s runner says his hardest woik is to keep a straight face and look important —and he has only been here a few months. Some persons learn quickly. King Menelik directs attention to the fact that last week’s issue of The Mirror was a double skidoo number —volume 23, number 23. What it was a double skidoo for he did not state. Prof. Webb says he likes his open air ]ob. “The ocean breezes from the North Pole put color in my cheeks.” he said the other day. What kind of color he did not of fer to explain. Health Culture for December oontains several articles of more than passing interest. This publi cation is practical and contains sound sense regarding the preser vation of health. Uncle John says: “What is everybody’s business is nobody’s business and what is nobody’s busi ness is everybody’s business. The best way to prosper around here is to attend to one’s own busi ness. If a fellow has no business he is in bad business.” The Virginia Enterprise recent ly got out a very stunning special souvenir edition which reflects great glory and credit upon the publisher and compiler. Its con tents embraced a history of the Mesaba and Vermilion iron ranges. Such publications are of great value in drawing attention to grow ing communities. The editor who does not receive a roast of some kind or another every time after his paper has been published should be classed as one of the immortals. For such a man a monument should be erected and his figure should forever be sculp tured in enduring bronze. —Chi- sago County Press.—The editor who makes no enemies makes no friends. He is too weak and wish washy to cut any ice. The party in 279 has found tbe following words in print: Veloci pedisbrianisticalistinarianoligist ultradistestablishmentariasto, floc cipaucinihipipipification, honor ificabilititudinitatibus. These are evidently of new manufacture as they are not in Webester’s Una bridged dictionary. Aod besides they are a little long for linguists who are accustomed to simple words of few syllables. Work is being pushed in the farm machinery department. The demand for the Minnesota Binders and Mowers is greater than the supply. Once this department is in good working order the farmers will have no cause for complaint in regard to not being able to obtain these machines. The farm machinery business will never suf fer from lack of patronage as the field for their use is constantly in creasing. The Minnesota Binders and Mowers were thoroughly test ed last season and found to be the best. They will be sold under trust prices—another benefit for the soverign of the soil. The Prison Mirror claims to be the most widely quoted paper in the state —without credit. Nothing strange about that. Inconsistency. Did not suppose you boys up there wanted any credit for what you do. Have your tastes changed?— Luverue Journal. The Mirror has made no such claim as quoted, friend. A regular contributor, however, did. All individuals like to have their bad deeds forgotten and their good deeds remember ed. It is pleasanter thau tlie other way around. There is a larger proportionate demand for Alunila twine this year than ever before. The farmers realize that Manila twine is not only the best but the cheapest in the long run. Manila fiber comes from the Philippines, an American possession, while Sisal fiber is im ported from foreign countries. Here is an opportunity for the country press to do a little educa tional work. Whatever benefits the Philippines helps the people of the United States as the Fili pinos aie consuming .American products in ever-increasing quan tities- including flour, meats, mer ohandite and manufactuied ma terials. New Prison News. Speaking of choirs we have one here that is very efficient. The Mirror is as popular over here as flapjacks for breakfast. What we need over here is a piano. The Mirror will do for an organ. Some of the boys are rehearsing daily ior a local Ohristmas entei tainment. Capi. Gules is Deputy Warden, Doctor and choir master. But his shoulders are broad. Guard Neely brought us a‘ fresb fish” recently. He could have car ried him in his pocket. Guard Smith left on his vaoa tion last week. Guard Nels Nel son is substituting for him. Warden Wolfer was here recent ly, granting interviews to inmates who wished to see him. He also made a tour of inspection of the various departments. The local chef in the officers kitchen told his second to place a Mirror on the table of a certain officer. The second who is a “fresh fish,” placed a looking glass on it instead. Personal. Warden Wolfer entertained his brother who called on him last week. Deputy Warden Backland is an old floriculturist and takes great pride in the local greenhouse, pre sided over by Sin bad tbe Sailor. Dr. Trenkle was obliged to visit a St. Paul oculist one day last week, having unfortunately gotten a piece of glass in one of his eyes. Population. Total number of inmates 723 Working at New Prison 66 Received during week 9 Discharged during week 1 Number in First Grade 538 Number in Second Grade.... 182 Number in Third Grade.... - 3 Paroled 0 Last serial number 2928 Harry Pink Myers will give a moving pioture show at tbe state prison chapel Christmas morning for the 700 inmates. The prison ers will be allowed the freedom of the cell house for a time and be served with a chicken dinner. — Stillwater Gazette. Cell ohanges: 98 to 252; 429 to 317; 62 to 429; 212 to 219; 550 to 19; 60 to 70; 429 to 60; 70 to 429; 214 to 218; 218 to 23a • HELIOGRAMS • • , Bjr F. M. • I wish the Suffragettes would go into secret session behind closed doprs and stay there. It often happens in a lawsuit that after the lawyer takes out his bit there is not a bit left for the client. “ There is a difference between ‘*what a business man should be” and what the average busines man really is. Mrs. Hetty Green says that the Irish are the greatest race of peo ple in the world. May the good saints shower their blessings on you Hetty, and prolong your life. In speaking to an audience in Joplin, Mo., Billy Sunday said: *‘l have heard so many nasty, rotten things about you old geezers here in Joplin that I can hardly wait until I get my bauds on you to skin you alive.” Note that Billy is too foxy to point out any one old geezer in particular, because Billy knew if he did he might get one on the point of the jaw. If what I read is true that aris tocratic Bkunk called caste has sneaked into the Ohio state prison through the medium of the sewer. There they have a tier of cells designated as Bauker’s Row. These cells are more commodious and are furnished much better than the cells occupied by other inmates. The stomachs of these bankers are of such delicate organism that they cannot live on prison fare and their meals are furnished by out side hotels. Now, I never could figure out how a banker who ac cepts the hardearned money of a poor servant girl on deposit and flimflams her out of it is any bet ter than the thief who picks her pocket. In fact the average “dip” will not lift a working girl’s purse if he knows her to be such. The Chautauqua. The Pierian Circle held its firs! quarterly meeting of the ’O9-10 sea son on Deo. 19. The orchestra opened the pro gram with a Medley Overture fol lowed by Mr. T. W. with a paper —William Cullen Bryant. Mr. C. C., a new member, ren dered a vocal solo—Schoolmates— in a very pleasing way. Mr. J. C., better known as Anglicus, in his perfect British English painted a word picture of Politics in England and America. Next, Just Some One—byMr.C., a Vocal Solo, rendered in an effect ive manner. A paper by Mr. G. W. 8., The Judiciary. It was expressed in well chosen language coupled with perfect delivery. It held each one present spellbound and impressed all wit h the fact that he thoroughly understood and was master of his subject. Another number by the orches tra. A Traitor, by Mr. V. Van. D. His three perfects—perfect deliv ery, perfect construction and per fect grammar, made a most elo quent appeal to those who love home, honor and state better than national prominence. The program concluded with a song by Mr. W. Mr. W. was forced to respond to the repeatec demands for more—and then some more. The vote of thanks extended by the Circ.e does not half express the gratitude to those who gave to us their time and talent which went so far toward making the program complete. Book circulation at next meet ing. Will each member please bring his class book with him? A. E. D., Secretary. Diverse Reflections 0 • BY ERID • • Photography is a useful art* but it is surprising how some persons appear so differently when photo graphed several times. The high society dames who see no harm in grape juice and light beverages are occasionally the fore most agitators for prohibition. Christmas is at hand With cheer for the clan; Sing merrily, merrily, Of man’s humanity to man. “A mule that kicks at everything in sight is a mighty mean thing to have around, but it is no worse at all than the man who does the same thing.” The oarefulness and painstaking movements of some persons are aggressively aggravating to one possessing the ability to think and act quickly and surely. “One must never, even in little things, compromise, with con science. Life must be a thing of firm principles and especially is this true of business life.” The Mirror’s “rooster” of who who's contains a few who realize that there is one particular place in America where the “undesirable citizens” desire to be so undesir able as to receive “diploomers.” Nicaragua has recently claimed international attention by revolu tionary stunts. Such provinces may foment, ferment and raise Cain generally but when they ex terminate a few subjects of the great world nations then they are liab'e to face music that quickly changes the province’s complex ion and standing on the world’s map. In large captions newspapers are informing the public of the downfal of Standard Oil, etc., but like the $29,000,000.00 fine, such information is subject to erroneous interpretations. Any time that the brand of brains which formulated and effected such a gigantic cor porate monopoly fails to continue business under some devised means, then —they don’t! Oue of the M. S. P. outlook force, who performs his duties at a very conspicuous observatory point, was the victim of an un fortunate incident recently. After several hours of limping and con jecturing as to the cause of the limps he submitted to a cross-ex amination and consultation. Home said he was string-halted or had au attack of hocuspocus—the equivalent of the scientific hook worm, or perchance au aggravated case of that tired feeling. The other officers encountered opined that the victim was suffering from a delusion and the limp had mere ly escaped previous notice. The Man with the Key was requested to diagnose the case and stated that the gout no doubt caused the limp but he would reserve an authoritative decision pending a deodorizing process when the sufferer should present himself for further examination. The geutle mau proceeded to his castle and removed shoe and stocking to ocu larly study the painful point of his heel. He soon found that all his crooning, complaining, im agining and conjecturing were due to a simple, little, trifling, insig nificant carpet tack which had wended its way mysteriously into the officer’s shoe. The Man with the Key opined that had it been a spike, or a sliver from Manila twine there might have been rea son to limp—but a tack! A small tack! Only a tack! Yet he limp* ed—limped!