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„ p/?e n iKKv K .- r ■ - --:- - ■■ - - ' ■■ : ; ' V - ■ . "i 1 EDITED AND PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY THE INMATES OF THE MINNESOTA STATS PRISON. VoL XXIV.—No. 22. Jimmie Qets Elected. Part n By Con Sarnit. After Jimmie’s nomination, Clar issa urged him to go out and make what she termed, “a whirlwind cam paign.” For be it known that the opposition newspapers were sarcas tically referring to Jimmie as “the gum shoe statesman,” and charging him with treachery to his political pal, Percival Montague. Of course Jimmie hated speech-making and was strongly in favor of a “front porch campaign,” but “Jimmie,” urged Olarriss, “such tactics would be dangerous and you know it. Why ruin your chances, when success is within reach?” “My dear,” repliey our hero, “that’s just what I am afreid of. If I made too many speeches it would probably put me out of the running. I hate ’em anyway —they can call me all the names they like ” “Are you going to keep your en gagement to speak at Willows this evening?” interrupted his wife. “Why—er—yes,” responded James, “I guess I’ll have to. What was I saying—Oh, yes ” “Never mind,” said Clarissa, “Bes sie and I are going to Willows to hear you speak and we want you to come to the hotel and escort us to the hall. That is, if you can find, time.” “All right,” replied Jimmie, “I’ll be there.” The Hon. James G. Jones was an exceedingly busy man. He never knew he had so many friends before in his life. People with whom he had only a nodding acquaintance buttonholed him on street corners. Some of the most prominent citizens of the town made formal calls to find out how Jimmie stood on the post-office question. Among these M T as Col. Ike Toliver, who had a strong following among the union labor voters. By these he had been given the honorary title of Colonel. His interview with Jimmie took place in the Clarion office: “Howdydo Jimmie: Just called around to congratulate you on your nomination.” “Thanks Colonel. Hope you can see your way clear to give me your support.” “Well” replied the Colonel, “I dunno. Rat he r undecided. Un derstand you’ve 'promised to rec ommend Cy Hodgkins for postmas ter and I’m decidedly antagonistic to such a course.” “it’s a mistake!” exploded Jim mie, “I haven’t promised-to recom mend anyone as yet, altho no less than fifteen men in this town have requested my influence for the post mastership, if I am elected. In confidence I can assure you that Mr. Hodgkins hasn’t a chance. But this is the first intimation I’ve had that you wanted it.” “Oh, I don’t,” spoke the Colonel hastily, “not at all. Merely want to the right man get it, that’s all. And I’ll do what I can for you among the boys.” That evening Jimmie faced a large audience at Willows, and, nerving himself for a strong effort, made a speech—one that did not abound in oratorical flights, yet made a distinct impression on its hearers. This was mainly due to the fact that he sidestepped national issues and dealt with those of local importance. It was very late when Jimmie and his wife reached home, but not too late for Clarissa to indulge in a few idle speculations as to what life in the National Capitol might hold for them. “I suppose we might have apart- STILLWATER, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1910. ments at the Willard,” she ventured. “While you are indulging in sup positions,” remarked Jimmie, “why not the White House? It would fit my salary about as closely as the Willard.” “You choose to be sarcastic,” re plied Clarissa, “yet you might as well admit that the question will have to be decided soon.” “Well,” said James, “I’m not elected yet and we won’t cross any bridges until we get to them.” “ Your election is almost certain if you continue your campaign as well as £Ou started it this evening,” Clarissa argued. “Bessie and I thought your speech excellent. And speaking of Bessie —you know that she and Percy are to be married soon and I’m anxious to see them settled down. I think we ought to do something for them —now could’nt you get Percival appointed as postmaster?” “That will do,” roared Jimmie, “I’ve heard enough of this post-mas ter business for one day. I’m go ing to bed.” So surprised was Clarissa at Jim mie’s sudden assumption of author ity that she meekly followed him up- stairs. The next day Jimmie was waited upon by a delegation of young men of which Percival was the spokes man. They requested him to sanc tion the organization of a club to be known as the “Original Jones Club,” and its main purpose was to secure votes for Jimmie in the coming elec tion. “Sure,” laughed Jimmie, “that’s a good idea. Go as far as you like, boys.” The boys immediately held a meeting and it was the unanimous opinion that appropriate uniforms should be secured. It was also thought necessary that a band should be engaged. However, the expense attached to the adaptation of these ideas was more than their individual pockets could stand. “Leave these matters to me,” said Percival, “I will secure the uni oorms and engage the music. Mr. Jones will be glad to foot the bill.” Thereby giving the impression that he had an understanding with the latter to that effect. Meanwhile the campaign waxed warm. Jimmie made speeches in every important town in the district. His opponent had a “barrel” of money and it was evident that the result would be very close. When Jimmie spoke in several of the nearer cities in the district, the Original Jones Club made the trip, the expenses being paid out of the regular campaign fund. It may be said that the boys made- a great hit in their natty uniforms. The campaign ended in a blaze of glory and a flood of oratory from speakers of national prominence imported for the occasion. The wind-up took place in Jimmie’s home town the night before election. There was a big torchlight proces sion led by the Original Jones-Club and their band. Then open air speeches were made from the veran da of the Beales House by several speakers, Jimmie included. Large crowds had assembled and much enthuisasm prevailed. A banquet tendered to the visiting politicians formed the concluding part of the program. Jimmie was very tired when he got home and planned to spend election day in retirement at his home. Clarissa had never given up the idea of the postmastership-for Per cival, and at breakfast broached the matter. “IT IS MEYER TOO LATE TO HEND.” “Percival has been working for you so earnestly that he should have a suitable reward,” she explained. “Yes,” came the response, “I have about decided to either give him that or make him editor of the Clar ion. But Ido not understand how it became known.” “ Well,” replied Clarissa, “I haven’t mentioned to a soul except Bessie.” “Huh! Might as well announce it from the house-tops,” grunted James. “No such thing,” Clarissa defend ed, “I don’t believe she told any one.” “Well, anyway the women are gossiping and they say that Bessie wants him to be postmaster, so that she can read the postal cards that travel through the mail.” “Oh, the mean things!” Cried Clarissa, and she stamped her foot to give expression to her feelings. Jimmie had arranged to receive the election returns by private wire and consequently there was a small gathering of his friends at the house in the evening. For the first hour or so the reports were very meager and it was impos sible to forecast the result. But when the returns from the outlaying districts began to roll in it became apparent that Jimmie would be elected by a comfortable majority. It was then for the first time, that he became aware of many voices and much noise on the front lawn. His friends urged him to go to the door and no sooner had he been recognized than loud cries of “Speech!” “Speech!” smote upon his ears. “Kind friends and fellow towns men,” began Jimmie, “Um —er —ah I deem it a great pleasure to see be fore me so many loyal friends. No words can express my gratitude for the honor that has been bestowed upon me today by the people of this district. But I am so hoarse that I am sure you will excuse me from making an extended talk and I will deem it a favor to shake hands with each and every one of you,” he con cluded. (Much applause and loud cries of Rah! Rah! What‘s the matter with Jones? Fine! Bully! etc). Jimmie was at the Clarion office early next morning. He was leis urely opening a stack of mail that had accumulated. Just no w he wore a frown over two bills which he held in his hand. One of them was for S2OO for Jones Club uni forms, “ordered by Percival Mon tague.” The other was for music engaged by that enterprising young man. He turned to the telephone. “Hello, is that you Montague?’’ “Yes, who is this talking?” It’s Jones and I want to see you here at the Clarion office immedi ately.” And he rang off. When Percival put in an appear ance half an hour later he wa s met with: “What in h —| does this mean? Two hundred dollars for uniforms. Are you trying to bankrupt me? You must be crazf.” And he hand ed the documents |o Percy. “ Well,” hesitatingly from Percy, “you told us to go as far as we liked and I took it for granted you wouldn't object, as the club was organized for the sole purpose of furthering your interests.” I’ll not pay ’em —never in a thousand years,’’ Jimmie shouted. And he stormed up and down the office for ten minutes. Finally he turned to Percy with a twinkle in his eyes and said: “Percy, you need a guardian. I had made up my mind to recom mend your appointment as postmas ter. But now I make it conditional upon your marrying Bessie and the sooner you do it, the better I‘ll be satisfied.” , : .-y Two week# later there was a wedding at the home of Hon. James G. Jones. 7-i . . DEFECTIVE PAGE A Visit to GhinatoWrv. Many strange sights are to be seen in the city of San Francisco. The ones which interest the tourists most, are those to be seen in China Town. Leaving Market St. and going up Grand Ave., the party soon comes to Dupont St. You will notice at once the change in your surround ings. Here are to be seen the first glimpses of China Town. The street is lined on both sides with shooting galleries, mostly run by Japanese men and women. The noise in this one block is something one will nev er forget. The continual crack of fire arms is to be heard long into the night hours —it is then that China Town wakes up. At almost every corner you will see standing out in front of small offices, signs which read: “Guides to China Town fv r nished Here.” One dollar is the price asked by these guides for showing you around. But one vis iting China Town can see as much and even more without a guide than with one. These guides take you over a certain route, where by go ing alone you are able to visit all the places of interest. You will not be forced to hurry and thus you will better enjoy your visit without a guide. Dupont, Clay, Pine, Cali fornia and Kerney streets are all located in the very heart of China Town. The writer is very familiar with that section of the city and wishes to state that if any. of you are expecting to make a trip through China Town, would be glad to ac company you. My office is located on gallery No. 3, office No. 185. I can assure you that I am always at home. For the sake of friendship no charges will be made. Passing along Dupont street, we cross Pine, then we-begin to get among the almond eyed gents. From Pine clean down to the end of Kearny street, the places are full of Chinamen. You see their strange customs, you hear their comical talk, and on every side of you see their places of business. As you pass along the street, your nostrils are assailed by the pungent odor which arises from -the many dark, gloomy alleyways and places of en trance to their homes and stores. This odor, which is very unpleasant, comes from the opium dens, of which there are, or was a great many be fore the earthquake. It is said when one once becomes a slave to this drug, he or she is forever lost. This I have found to be true in most cases. Some of the most pathetic sights I have er witnessed were those who had • eome slaves to this drug. Some ti later on I shall give a true acc t of the life of a g ; . , who eeaine a slave to this drug. It v- nly after much persuation the n ' ritex was able to extract iroL. 1 ! i the story of her downfall. Her life has ever kept me from touching the accursed drug, and I am sure some of you will also give it a wide berth after reading her story. The way things use to be run in Frisco, it was almost safe for a Chi naman or any other class of people to smoke the dope without fear of the law. You can see more hop heads, as users of the dope are called, around Chinatown in one day than are to be found in the entire state of Minnesota in a year. I have had some amusing experiences with that class of people. A hop head is very forgetful; when full of dope he will take anything he can lay his hands on. The only trouble is that their dreams never are true. It’s a case of hurry up some more _ i $1 00 a Year TERMB ) o Months Fifty Cts. By A. F. B. dope, when they wake up. They will stand all kinds of punishment when they have “got their habits oh,” another expression used by those who have made their lives a study. About the only way to quiet one is to give him a pill. Later on I shall tell you more about them. About the next thing that attracts you. is the orchestra in front of the Joss House, or Chinese theatre. We have some A No. 1 violinists here, still they couldn’t hold a can dle to one of those chinks when he starts to saw off a chunk of noise on one of their one or three string fiddles. And the singing! that is the limit. I don’t know T as I j ' have any right to call it singing, for to tell the truth there is only one other sound that I have ever heard that will in anywise compare with it, and that’s the Jack Daw of Aus tralia. This is a bird, and he can make the most noise in a few min utes of any living creature in the world. It may sound all right to one who who understands the Chi nese language but to me it was the worst noise I ever heard. There are several of these Joss Houses in China Town but space won’t allow me in this story to dea. w ith them. It is wonderful td see the enor mous loads these Chinamen carry. A large pole is placed across the shoulders, at the back of the neck, on each end of this pole, a strong cord is fastened; this is tied to the handles of two large baskets. These baskets will hold from two to five bushels of vegetables, and it is a very common sight to see these Chinamen carrying two of these baskets, full to the top with all sorts of vegetables. They trudge along under their load, unmindful of the many curious glances that are cast towards them. After reaching the end of Kearny street, you come out on Pacific street, better known as the Barbary coast. Thousands cf lights are casting their ever chang ing shadows on those who inhabit thisytart of the city. This is called the Tenderloin and here the “whit 3 slaves” are found' by the hundreds. Looking Backward. Looking backward. How much time do you waste at it? For is it not nearly all wasted? It is, of course, right for us, periodically, to look back over our past; to take stock, so to speak, so that we may avoid the same mistakes in the fu ture. But this is different from the habitual backward look that most of us nave. We get our eyes glued to the backward trail and do net realize our condition, living in the past we become oblivious to our preseat and do not comprehend the needs and the wants, the delights and despairs of those around us now. To live in the past is to invite fail ure, we have seen latterly how those who stood by the old order of things went down to defeat, because it had been the right method in the past and they were not able to turn their eyes upon the present and future. When we see a business man going along in the same old rut we think that be is doomed to fail, a man or business must either advance or (Concluded on page ».) A. 3f. P.