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'! s Thursday. Dec. 21, 1911. - < J; PrtlSON OFFICIALS. j \> ' BOARD OF OONTROL. \ ■ ,» ■> ' . ' ■'* ' v ( P. M. KINGDAL -■— Crookston 1 1 1 C- E. VASALY - Little Falls , - C. J. SWENDSEN - - - St. James « i[ J. D. Mills, Secretary > RESIDENT OFFICIALS. ! <! HENRY WOT.VBR. - - - Warden J \> R. M. COLES, - - Deputy Warden ( J.J. SULLIVAN, Asst. Deputy Warden • H.S. HILL, - - - - Steward | ! 1 G. A. NEWMAN, -- - Physician i MISS MARY McKINNEY, - Matron J / CHAS. CORCORAN,' Cath. Chaplain i <| C. E. BENSON, Protestant Chaplain J !» PRISON AGENT. . < <[ J.Z 3ARNCARD, - - St. Paul J' Chapel device. - The following is the program rendered in the Chapel Sunday, Dec. 17th, Rev. C. E. Benson offici ating. March—Wedding Bells «-> • • • Ol Coney n Orchestra. Doxology Congregation Invocation ; Chaplain Gloria Congregation Scripture Cbaplian Hymn —Whosoever Will Congregation Prayer Chaplain Solo—Where He*Leads Me P. P. Bliss Member of Choir Sermon s Chaplain, Hymn—Softly and Tenderly Congregation Benediction -Chaplain March—Chinese Dragon .... .. George Rosey Orchestra. L. W. Burchard, Musical Director. # M-IftfORETTES A Merry Christmas to all! Occupant of cell 268 wpuld appreciate any papers or magazines sent him. Steward Hill returned from the visit to his home in Twin Valley last Satur day. Occupant of cell 197 has several copies of “The Living Church,” which he will send to any inmate caring to receive them. The occupant of cell 240 will exchange the Duluth Herald, Irish Standard, and The Messenger of the Sacred Heart, for good magazines and papers. About 1,950 of the 2,000 mowers for next season are manufactured and stor ed. Work on the binders has been commenced and will be in full swing in a week or two. Mr. Owens, of the Farm Machinery Department, who was absent for some time on account of sickness, returnedto work last week, and reports himself as feeling fine. Mr. John N. Rawen, Deputy Sheriff of Ramsey county, agreeably suprised Guard Casino with a visit last Thursday. Mr. Rawen is an esteemed friend of Mr. Casino’s and the latter took great pleasure in acting as host during his short stay. - Mr. Heligram’s place' of business in the hospital was lately raised to the dignity of a sanctum sanctorium when the carpenter built a door into the only entrance, giving Heliograms a measure of privacy, and insuring the safety of his office fixtures. Among the visitors registering at The Mirror office during the past week were Mrs. John Cooke, of Stillwater; J. E. Lersses, R. -J. Nelson, Lea Schneider, Gust Freeman and 0. Nelson, all of Minneapolis; T. E. Smithy of Renville, Minn.; Henry Harge, of Cummings, N. D.; and Ethel M. Cushing, of Bowbells, N. D. A certain Afro-American paper in the Twin Cities has a very polite way of saying things. In a recent issue they stated in their “Society” column that Mr. had returned to his home af ter a short visit in Stillwater. The Mr. referred to, recently round ► ed out a years service in the “White City.” The sanctum canary birds seem to realize that the season of good cheer has arrived, and are doing their best to make things lively. Even old Pat, who has seen the passing of a dozen Christ mases, has aroused himself to another mighty effort, and the last few days -have been for him and us, just one grand sweet song. ■T 1 'Miv t »j. n&.' A lady visitor, sometimeago, remark ing on Prof. Webb’s career, declared it was.“ Romance Personified.” The Pro fessor is flabbergasted. He' has search ed in vain through numerous books for an explination of the phrase, and twice, in attempting to pronounce it, broke his jaw. Will some bind hearted mortal please enlighten him? One of the Steward’s clerks, R. J., who is strong on the Navy and all things pertaining thereto, decided that he ; conld not properly uphold his dignity as l a Navy man without a mascot. Acting | upon this decision he began looking for one and his choice settled on a little red maltese kitten, which he has now in stalled as a permanent fixture in the top of a patent file cabinet. The kitten is getting along famously. The Mirror office was honored, last week, with a visit from a bride and groom on their honeymoon trip. They were Mr. and Mrs. C. F. Ferris, of Lakota, N. D. The happy pair were accompanied by Mr. Hustings, who is a brother-in-law of the bride; Mr. and Mrs. Fred Ferris, parents of the groom; Miss Birdie Ferris and Mrs. Wm. Hus tings. The young couple were married in Stillwater, on Tuesday evening of week, and after a short stay at the residence of Mr. Hustings, departed for their new home in Dakota. The paper read by J. A. 0., before the members of the Chautauqua Circle, at their meeting last Sunday, on “Na poleon at St. Helena,’.’ was one of the finest tributes to the great Emperor that we have ever heard, and in spite of the prejudiced and personal remarks made by an English member, in an ef fort to tarnish the good impression left by friend O’s paper, we shall always have a warmer regard for the “Little Corporal,” hereafter, and his mighty works. - The paper will be published in full at an early date. Night Guard Kortnick was the victim of an accident, last Thursday afternoon that came very near being serious*. He was skating on the river a short distance above the bridge, and in trying to cross a thin place, broke through. A number of small boys were on hand to offer as sistance, but he cautioned them not to venture to close to him, and after break ing his way through several yards of the thin ice, finally succeeded in reaching some that would sustain his weight. Mr. Kortnick was concerned about his health for several days, but so far has suffered no ill effects from his cold bath. The Mirror office receives a number of exchanges which are as yet unassigned, and those of the inmates caring to re ceive any of same should send in their cell number and the name of* the publi cation they wish. A list of all unas signed papers will be published each week hereafter. The following each have room for four numbers: The Re view, New York, (Organ of the Nation al Prisoners Aid Association); The Cen sor, St. Louis; The Bellman, Minneapo lis; magazine sections of the St. Paul Pioneer Press and Duluth News-Tribune; Hollands Magazine, Dallas, Tex. The following Minnesota papers have room for more numbers on each: Advance, Springfield; Tribune, Walnut Grove; Herald, Tracy; Tribune, Wilma*; Jour nal, Two Harbors; and the Mascot, Minneota. New Prison Notes By Blondy The twine shops are now on pure Manila and it is the highest grade stock they are using. Guard Erickson was in Mr. Zim merman’s shop all daj Friday while Mr. Zimmerman was away. The chapel for the new prison is rapidly raising from the ground. In fact it is mounting' skyward by jumps. The boys here wish their brother inmates at the parent institution A Merry Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year. The quartette sang at chapel ser vice but they need considerable practice before they can come up to the former quartette we had here. Old Bob K. left us for his bro ther’s home in Dakota last Saturday. May luck be with him and keep him straight in the future. He is a hard and willing worker and ought to do well on a farm. Mr. Ed. Streble foreman in the spinning room has been granted a two weeks’ vacation by Supt. Styles. He will go to his home in Ohio and spend Christmas with his wife and “kiddies.” He leaves Friday Dec. 22d. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to him and his family. Rev. Budlong is basing his ser mons on subjects asked for -by the T •. ~ 1 i boys here two, weeks ago. His sub jects on Dec, 17 were, “How does: the world look on an ex-convict?” and ‘ What caii I do to btiHd up a new reputation?” He handled both subjects in a frank and feble manner. Caught ftUhe Act. - A. F. B. —I wish you all A Merry Christ mas; : —An abundance of cold cash buys many a warm comfort. —A bird in the bush is better than two bats in your belfry. —An honest man does not feather his nest with borrowed plumes. —Gab can be cultivated, but it takes nature to furnish brains. —There are other things besides a boil that- makes a man hot under the collar. —Cheer up fellows! we will miss the Christ mas rush also the Christ mas bills this year, and that’s some thing to be thankful for. —All of the windows nn the cell house have been cleaned and a great improvement is noticeable. The cellhouse has never been in better shape than at the present time. —The local electrician and myself were on the walls a few days ago, for the purpose of trimming the arc lights. Friend T. and myself get one of those paroles about every fif teen days. —The golden-haired plumber boy and the Scottish chieftain, Mac. D., spent several hours over at the wom en’s department last week, setting up the new electric motor sewing machines. Chief Shatz bossed the job. —Gus, the chief carpenter, is an old man of sixty-two years, and we doubt if a finer workman can be found anywhere. In fact all of chief Shatz’ men are expert work men excepting the dauber,, whose services are only required when the experts give up. Er —er —um, and I’ve got to face them, after this too. Ghristmas In Rah, Rah, Beau Esprita. Some years ago one of the fore most of the comic cartoonists of the day created a series of pictures de picting the adventures of one of the tribe of Dipp. The slogan wilb which this philosophic loon invaria bly greeted misfortune was “Gee but it’s great to be crazy!” Possibly many of you have laughed over the phrase as I have. Probably few of you have had —and fewer still will admit that you have had —equal opportunities with myself of prov ing it’s' truth. For it certainly is great to be crazy, just how great you may judge for yourself after reading this most authentic chronicle of the joys of one Christmas day in the Land of the Numerous Nutts. Since I stated in The Mirror, sometime ago, tha£ I was at one time editor of an asvlum newpaper —we called it the Insect I’side, which I think was pretty good for Dipps — many people have quizzed me about the matter. Such phrases as “were you really in St. Peter?” “How do they treat you down there?” and “Did they keep you in a paddqd cell?” have greeted me from every side; but far and away the most fre quent and insistent querry has been “How did you ever git out?” Such is Fame! But genius was ever heralded thus and in the fullness of my generosity I will answer you one and all —I was in St. Peter; they treated me fine while I was there (prize specimens in all lines are al ways bandied with care); there are no such things as padded cells or cells of any other description in any of Minnesota’s State Hospitals; and lastly, oh ye importunate, I got out through a third story window—in the nite —and by aid of a large um brella which I usfed parachute-wise (very wise it proved to be as I was rather shy on wardrobe and used the umbrella in lieu of a barrel). But this is a Christmas tale. - Christmas Day 1 - -4, dawned at 5 a. m., in the M. S. H/ —in which respect it differed not at all from other days, winter and summer, year :«£**> i i jr‘ ; ’W^ : V '*. , jKl < r;.« :.V..'.r>-..-v- • “ ;; ! ' i~'if ij WlT'"' ~~ » and year oat. Right here I would remark one of the miracles of State which some of my readers also may have noticed. Whereas in the natural course of events the birth of no two days in the year comes at-exactly the same time (there being a difference even between the dawn ing® of the days of the equinox), in the course o.f things static you can depend on somebody’s ringing that gong at the same old time. Which is only one more instance of man’s superiority over nature. So Xmas morning dawned and" in my capacity of editor of the family journal 1 donned my gala array — not but what X have donned it even had J not been editor of the family journal; I threw_in that “ca pacity” part to lend dignity to the action, and by the way, there are no uniforms in the State Hospital; all Bugs wear real clothes if they so de sire —also whether they so desire or not, as far as the nurses can compel them to. Before breakfast I hied me forth to work up an appetite by shoving a forty pound polishing block over the hard wood floor of our hall —only about two hundred feet long. This continued for about thirty minutes. Of course no pa tient can be compelled to do any thing in the line of work -unless he ; so desires (get that phrase? It’s got me). Thus reads the law. A skep tic might remark that the law says nothing about such gentle of creating the “desire” in lagard loons as refusing to feed him who has not “rubbed up an appetite.” But that is neither here nor there and any way the exercise probably is for their own best interest.” At any rate they all take it. Then breakfast. The food is good and tvell cooked, and, wherever the condition of the patients will allow, is well served — table linen, glass ware, and plated cutlery. The meals are served table d’hote on small tables at which from six to twelve patients are seated, in four large, well lighted dining rooms holding twelve to twenty tables each. The nurses and patients recieve the same diet; the nurseshaving a separ ate table in same dining room, from which they can oversee the patients tables. Meals are usually enlivened by some humorously inclined patient rubbing, a generous handful of hot mush or other rubbable item from the hill of fare into the hair of a nurse or felloiv patient, or, per chance, one with more or less terp sichorean ability getting upon a ta ble to introduce to his admiring audience the latest movement from Honolula. This besides the bril liant conversation. Gee but it’s great to be crazy. Speaking of brilliant conversation, that is no joke. The ablest, wittiest, most versatile conversationalists that I have ever heard I met in that ray former happy home; One of the patients supported his family by teaching the nurses, giving lessons in the classical studies; and by as sisting the physicians in the labora tory! Also he broke up more furni ture than any other six men in the hospital. But he didn’t do all this on Xmas and this is an Xmas tale so that is neither here nor there. Land! After breakfast all patients who so desired (oh you phrase!) were bundled into overcoats and furs and taken out for the air —a half-hour or an hours 'tramp around the grounds was the usual program, twenty to fifty Bugs with from two to six nurses in attendance. But sometimes this program is varied, one nurse taking out half a dozen Diptps and tramping cross country from eight to ten miles away from the Hospital. I went rabbit hunt ing with one-of the attendants sev eral times but after the time I shot' a farmer’s calf (Oh well, consider where I was. You might have made worse mistakes yourself under the same conditions and it’s ears did look like a-rabbits), for which the State had to pay, these excursions were cut owt. But this is a Xmas tale — I digress. After the walk there were religi ous services in the chapel; the St. Peter churches combining in giving the patients a fine choral service. From chapel to dinrer and from dinner to the hall (cur day room) where Xmas presents were distrib uted. Many of the patients recieved boxes from outside friends and the. State gave some little token, a box of handkerchiefs or a “pack” of cards to those who did not, s?Nfcbat all might share in the Xmas spirit. And there was candy, popcorn, nuts, and fruit for everybody. The after noon was spent at our usual amuse > I ——s—w ■ ments, cards, checkers, carom, pool (St. Peter Hospital has three tables in each ward), and dancing. Many of the Bipp family possess musical ' - instruments —and varying ability to use them. lam a peacably inclined person but I shudder to think of some of the things I planned to do to one old gentleman who persisted in playing the Irish Washerwoman from morn till de y eve on a wheezy old harmonica. 1 The Grande Time came in the evening. The usual retiring hour at the Hospital is 7 p. m., —early to bed and early to rise, you know — but at least twice a week and on hol idays there are “doings” in the chap el for the milder patients. Tuesday nights are usually dance nights. An orchestra from down town is hired and all patients able to dance may do so if they so desire (come on, you phrase!) The dances are mostly quadrilles and reels, with one or two round dances, and the figures are made up of both nurses and pa tients; with the women patients dancing witb men nurses and men patients with the women nurses. Patients are not allowed to dance together though they all mingle on the floor, dancing in the same figures. The other weekly attraction is a home talent show, or a eard party. Each department or ward is suppos ed to take it’s turn in giving an en tertainment} one from the men’s de partment one week, one from the women’s next. The nurses may get up a “show” amongst themselves rf they wish but usually the nurses and patients both take part, and once or twice a year nnrses and patients from both men’s and women’s de partments join in giving a “Big Show.” Besides these home talent entertainments all theatrical compa nies playing in St. Peter are offered inducements to appear at the Hos pital and most of them go out for a matinee if their St. P., date is long enough; about three a month nsually. But to get back to Xmas Day, we were to have a “big show.” There were seasonal tableau; a version of the Xmas carol; and all kinds of specialties from operatic selections to coon character stunts. My as sociate editor (the only man iu the place to whom I had to yield prece dence when it came to a showdown of bugginess, for I would have you understand that I am no ham as a loon) and I concocted and executed some local and appropriate “rags.” Blaine (my associates name), had a fine tenor voice and together we put over some pretty classy dope. One of our songs I have heard sung iu-several places since, though how or by whom it was published I do not know. It was while singing this song, too, that Blaine made the grand stand play of that Xmas day. It was that touching little ballad the chorus of which begins: Insanity, insanity. Why there’s buss enough ’neath your crop of hair To bridge across the Deieware* Come on inside and keep me company. Yon sporty guys thiuk your steps are wise, But they’re pure insanity. Blaine was warbling it in a man ner that would have made Eddy Foy green with envy when suddenly, in the midst of ray m<?st excruciatingly funny lyrics lie hesitated, broke, and walking to the extreme edge of the stage grasped his hair with both hands and cried, in a voice the agony of which I hope never to hear re peated: “Oh why did I chop up my grand mamma with an axe?” He brought down the house —and the curtain; and ended that most dippy of Chrismases. Gee! but it’s great to be crazy — and not at all difficult to accomplish should one so desire- . Hevings! That phrase! Population. Total number of inmates. 77.7 Working at New Prison 73 Received during week 12 Discharged during week 5 Number in First Grade*.,.. . 593 Number in Second Grade.... 180 Number in Third Grade •••••• 4 Paro’ed -2 Last serial number.......... 3579 Cell changes: 412 to 584; 371 to 550; 550 to 371; 659 to C. O.; 359 to 353; 353 to 359; 377 to 116; 610 to C. C.; 207 to 377; 70 to 30; 466 to 3rd; 114 to cot 2; 89 to cot 1; 412 to 466; 544 to 533; 133 to 617; 487 to 248; 116 to 83; 83 to 377; 157 to 3rd; 71 to 659; 300 to 329; 329 to 300; 377 to 207; 545 to 431; 617 to 423; 134 to 133; 533 to N. to N. P.; 584 to 522; 127 to 584; 522 to 127.