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Board of Control C. J. Swendsen, - - St. James Ralph W. Wheelock, - - Minneapolis C. E. Vasaly, - - - Little Falls Downer Mullen, Secretary. Soarii of Parolr C. E. Vasaly, Chairman. C. S. Reed, Secretary. Rev. H. C. Swearingen. H. K. W. Scott Bratikmt ©fftrialn C. S. Reed... Warden J. J. Sullivan - ...Deputy Warden J. Backland Ist Asst. Deputy Warden John Whelan 2nd Asst. Deputy Warden J. A. Humphreys Steward G. A. Newman Physician K. A. Whittier ; State Parole Agent Miss Ellen Nelson Acting Matron C. E. Benson Protestant Chaplain Chas. Corcoran Catholic Chaplain 4: / MIRBORETTES Thursday, July, 22nd. 19 15 Mr. Picullel is acting Ass’t. Deputy Warden during Mr. Whalen's absence Occupant of cell 319-A would appreciate it if someone would place his cell number on the Railroad Man's Magazine. Thanks in advance. Thus far this month the Board of Parole has granted ten paroles and six discharges, a very fair allotment ahd we are not sure that there isn’t more to come. Air. Mclntosh, our landscape artist and his corps of assistants are busy these days keeping the grass trin.med down. It sure is a busy time for lawn mowers and border shears. Mr. W. (Billy) Alexander is acting base ball manager pro-tem during Ass’t. Deputy Whalen’s absence. Here’s hoping that “Billy” brings home the money in the next contest. Colonel Hassel and Mr. P. Thomp son of the British Army accompan ied by Mr. Stack and Max Zimmerman had the honor of being shown over the institu tion last Wednesday by Deputy Warden Sullivan. The members of the Board of Adminis tration of Texas were guests of State Agent Whittier last Tuesday and the gentlemen from the Lone Star State seemed to be highly interested in all the sights within the boundaries of our Silent City. Deputy Warden Sullivan went fishing last Sunday. We can hardly figure out whether he had any success or not. How ever there has been no big fish stories sprung around here as yet. And as they say silence means assent, we take it that he must have returned with a well filled hamper. Warden Reed held his usual monthly in terview with inmates last Monday. A num ber of the “boys” are aspirants for parole and were up to get the Warden’s O. K. on their applications, Others were taking up personal matters with him. Altogether the Warden and his secratary Mr. D. had a busy day of it. Capt. Alexander is some busy these days dressing out our departing guests. And late ly there has been a considerable number on the move for the exit. Some having com pleted their allotted time here, others gain ed their release thru the Parole Board and again some got a “glory ticket'’ from the Board of Pardons. Capt. Brostrom of Cellhouse B is one of the most ardent fans our City boasts; while he is not very much in evidence during the game, he can always recount the "good or bad plays that occurred and also show how they should have been pulled off. It’s almost as good as seeing the game to hear his ver sion of it afterwards. Capt. sure is some “dope artist, ”at least in base-ball parlance. Visitors in large and small groups are constantly passing thru this institution. Some days there are more than on others but the weekly average is close on to a thousand. No doubt a few come thru the prison purely from idle curiosity, yet many are in search of useful knowledge such as can only be obtained at first hand. How ever what e’er their motive may be, one and all are equally welcome. Among the visitors here during the past week were a party of students numbering some 300 from the State Agricultural College, of course their trip was largely from an educational point of view. The base ball diamond presented a high ly improved appearance last Saturday. Yet with foul lines and coaching boxes all nice ly marked out and a good margin roped off to keep enthusiastic fans from interfering with the game, we lost. Considering this, what are we to expect from our team next Saturday when they clash with the “All Stars’ ’ of So. Stillwater? The players have simply got to getdown and play ball! The Mirror has given the team all the support and encouragement possible, now it’s up to them to back up their publicity agenis dope. Let’s see you do it on the 24th. Prof. Albert Schmidt is with us again; in fact, has been for the past three weeks and say there is certainly some improve ment in the music, particularly in marches since he has taken over the directorship. Our readers will remember that the Prof essor was formerly our instructor here but as he is a member of the Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra, he resigned at the begintng of their season early last winter; We are not aware how long the Prof- essor will be with us, but trust his present engagement will be of long duration for under his able management we will soon have an institutional band ranking among the leaders in harmony produciug element of the state. Since his return the personel of the band has increased from eighteen to twenty four pieces and every one is a musician of creditable merit. The program furnished by the manage ment for our regular weekly entertainment last Wednesday evening was both varied and interesting throughout. The bill consisted of four single reel features and afforded an enjoyable half hours relax ation. “No Show for the Chauffuer,’’ was highly amusing, while a “Bowl of Roses’’ had a rather pathetic effect on many and yet the White Rose and Rosebud brot a warm glow to our hearts. The animated week Iv was as usual very entertaining and Mayers cartoons caused the large audience to wake up and enjoy a good laugh, and as “Snookee’s Flirtation’’ the ending number was next they never had an opportunity to relax, for this side spliting feature kept the place in an uproar from the first flash right up to the good night greeting. Oh, yes, it was Sterling feature and Sterling was very much in evidence, hence the merriment. All in all the last show was a good one and the kind we like LEAGUE CLUB STANDINGS Corrected to July 21 American Association W L Pet St. Paul 53 36 .596 Indianapolis 49 40 .551 Kansas City 47 43 .522 Minneapolis 46 43 . 517 Louisville 45 45 .483 Cleveland 40 44 .476 Milwaukee 41 46 .471 Columbus 34 55 .382 National League Philadelphia 44 34 .564 Brooklyn 43 38 Chicago 43 39 .524 St. Louis 42 43 .494 Pittsburgh 40 41 .494 New York 38 39 .494 Boston. 39 44 . 470 Cincinnati 33 44 .429 American League Boston 53 29 .646 Detroit 25 32 .619 Chicago 53 33 . 616 New York 43 40 . 518 Washington 42 42 . 500 St. Louis 33 50 .398 Cleveland 29 54 .349 Philadelphia 29 54 . 349 Federal League Kansas City 48 34 .585 Chicago. 48 37 .565 St. Louis 46 37 .554 Pittsburg 43 37 .538 Newark 43 41 .512 Brooklyn 39 48 .448 Buffalo 1 38 51 .427 Baltimore 32 52 .381 Sfatfre! All inmates desiring to write to the State Board of Control will notify the Deputy Warden previ ous to Friday noon in order that special paper for that purpose may be furnished them. Letters written on the regulation size paper will not be permitted to go. C. S. REED, Warden PICKUPS AND PUNCHES By Jncle John . Maes was held in the Auditorium last Sunday with Father Cororan officiating. Rev. Benson was a visitor at the Auditorium with several gentlemen friends last Friday morning. Rev. Budlong was a visitor at the ball park last Saturday, enjoying the ball game between the M. S. P. and the visiting team. The band boys gave the inmates of the hospital a concert during the week as a measure to cheer. It evi dently proved successful as none have died of the concert’s effect. Father Corcoran was a visitor at the prison on spiritual business last Saturday. Crews under guards Husting and Clennon put in a busy week by al most emptying the warehouses, which is sure “going some.” Five* cars of coal were received in the fire-room. The coal is easy lo unload, needing only the release of a trap-door to automatically dis charge the coal into the bunkers. Guard Welch of the wood shop left for his vacation last Thursday, Guard Morrison is in command dur ing his absence. Next Sunday will be Flower Sun day. We hope every one will go to church as a fine program has been arranged for the occasion by ladies who have a message of hope to bring to the inmates. VERSE, REVERSE AND DIVERSE By Sherlock “Staph Paragrafer.” Adam’s Advantage Whatever troubles Adam missed This must have made him sore, When he and Mother Eve fell out He couldn’t slam the door. —Birmingham Age Herald Whatever troubles Adam had And he had some I s' pose, He never sat behind a hat At moving picture shows. —Houston Post Whatever troubles Adam had He always had a chance, For sure he never had to fear That Eve would wear the pants. —New Orleans Item Whatever troubles Adam had He didn’t have to shiver, Out upon a mountain road Patching tires for a Fliver. —La Jalla, Cal. Journal Whatever troubles Adam had I’ll bet one made him ffeet-o Not having any clothes, you see, He had to dodge the spry mosquito. —Credit Lost Whatever troubles Adam had He could roam the garden o’er, He never had to stay in one place And listen to friend wife snore. Minor Mention Biff the fly! Thanks for the open windows and a whiff of pure ozone. Thanks. Just one more camping odt yarn and we surely will be hailed before the court (I don’t mean court in the sense that that word is used here, I mean a Court of Justice) to establish my sanity. There are many little things that just wont let us forget, i. e: Sunshine Calendar et citra with many little kindnesses. Gosh! but it’s hard to be human sometimes. Flower service July 25. We’ll be there What is a woman anyway? A mistake that we're glad to boast of. Well, up to date no one has come for ward with any suggestions as to whether we should call Bill Sunday's fee a “contribu? tion” or a “swag.” Nothing new under the sun, unless it be a Mpls. bathing suit as approved by the park board. How do you like ’em? Great! There’s nothing to 'em. Foolish question: The First Ave. tho season number “Thirty-six Billion and Fourteen.” Was it hot enough for you? — As 1 Was Saying What will it profit England if, after sweeping the seas, she presents the victor ious Admiral, upon his return, with a house? At last the Pardon Board has done some thing we will all indorse. They have ad journed to go fishing. With sterilized kisses, antiseptic court ships and sanitary marriages, it seems it will hardly be worth while to be young pretty soon. However, no one has invent ed the deodorized divorce suit yet. “It has been ascertained that Microbes live longer on paper money of the larger de nominations.” Sure, they are disturbed less frequently. Too much handling isn’t good for pets. Proving another a hypocrite does no prove your holiness. Grumbling is like weeds, easy to raise and mighty unprofitable. Civilization is what took the club out of the hands of man and put the rolling pin into those of woman. When a man gets to boasting how hard ened the world has made him, ask him about his first sweetheart. News Item: “Josephine King drops dead while singing,” reads a head-line. Naughty Man. A maiden named Josephine King Dropped dead while attempting to sing, Then a neighbor next door, Whom her songs had made sore, Bowed head and said, “Death where’s thy stiiyj?” We Elect For Honorable Mention. (With apologies to the man who ever he was who first introduced this method of chronicling the celebrities.) One, Fishski, because he is an artist with the dauber’s pot, and because he is a hail hearty fellow well met and too, because he can do as neat a job of painting with a package of Diamond Dyes as he can with a paint brush. Beau Esprita: Because he has a well de veloped sense of humor and because he is gifted in the art of writing dialect, in rail ing at creeds, and has a certain contempt for conventionalities and finally because he is a flood that didn’t have an Noah’s Ark. * * [Ye Ed. does not approbate.] * * * * [Ye Comp, does not approve.] * * Finally me. Why myself in particular? Simply because at this time I am the “Chau ffeur of this Colyum” with no one to me to “Buzz bv sonny!” There is nothing a woman can change so quick as her mind. For Instance She said: “How far the future is From us hid He’s .English and never’d do But well, he did.” Dope From The Weeklies And some people make us tired because we can’t run fast enough to escape them. An enthusiastic is that of two girl chums who haven’t seen each other for nearly an hour. A married man has his choice. He can either refuse to reply to his wife or he can defend himself. The model of an amateur artist is not as bad as she is painted. A Fable a la Walt Mason (With apologies to my saner self.) In the village of Minne 'O Please lives a maid I love to tease, mayhap because my pride was handed a whack, when ’twas said ‘’Englishmen are Hottentots minus the black.” But for reward this maid took sick, Im agined she had cancer appendicitis or may be gout; and thought she would ‘cash in’, ‘shoot the shoots’, ‘peg out.’ So gathering togeather all the pain-killers in the house, crept down stairs as still as a mouse. 'Twas here, and then that a walk marathon begun; that ended till the rise of the sun. Discoverd by .mother who inquiringly said: “Why dear, are you sick? —Why are n’t you in bed? I’m sorry my dear if you feel ill, but you should have called me or brother Bill.’’ • An M.D. was summoned, Dr. Sawbones Whitehead, who casually remarked “They couldn’t keep you in bed.’’ “No,” replied the maid, “If I’m to shoot the shoots, I'll die- standing and wearing my boots.” (or at least crocheted slippers.) Bending over he tested a lung, finding nothing, ordered her to show her tongue. With finger held quite stiff, this M.D. be gan to biff, with little jabs and jolts, the patients anatomy in search of loose bolts. Diagonosis completed—Mr. M.D. was seated, and then, with an “Idle man’s” fountain pen, wrote a perscription fully two miles long; with advises to take until again feeling strong. Removing his horn-rimmed and closing his case, the M.D. put a per fecto in the orifice of his phase. Resting a bit as M.D.’s will, he sprung on them a Daffydill; realizing it has curative value the same as the pill. The patient after listening a while to his bright chaff, shortly convulsed in one hearty laugh. “Well,” Quoth he, ‘Cured, By Gosh! and done with a little timely joke.” But to me an observer seems like a lot of trouble to take, when simply hanging over back of a chair will cute stomach-ache. But then you’re sorry I wot —that you said an —? was a Hotentot. Whew! Now that we have unloaded the above from our system, and have partially regained lucidity we will proceed to turn out “copy.” News Item: “Behind Guila Lipa,” reads a war head-line. — If that is Mule in Greek it’s a bad place for the Germans to be. News Item: An editorial in the Lake Crystal Union starts with these words: “A patient Englishman.”—But shucks, they’re all the same. News Item: “.What is woman to man?” —Law’z chile, that’s easy, an expensive lux ury. News Item: “Ireland sent out 230,314 emmigrants last year.”—Sound more cor rect if emmigrants read “policemen.” Phony Phllms S.O.S Editor: "Hang it, I wonder why that * paragraphed don’t ‘copy up’ in time?'* Comp: ‘‘Well, maybe he’s out of paper or needs a pencil.” Editor: ‘‘l never thot of that.” There’s a young painter poet called Beau Esprit, Who in every respect is really a wit; A tube of white lead Or a lay to the dead Is readily turned into a skit, By Beau Esprit. If It Is Nice (Apologies to T.R.Y.) There’s something going to happen, but blamed if 1 know what it is, ’Cause I’m no fortune teller and profas ighing ’aint my biz; But I just know it will happen, but i t takes a wiser man than I To give a forecast of the weather, by looking at the clouds in the sky ( The day looms bright in sunshine with a breath of summer air That recalls other summer days free from any care; I’d bet my year’s wages —the whole eight dollars—and not be afraid That It’s Saturday and a game of ball is to be played. Brain Fag The editor of this colyum has had several overatures from the editors of the ‘‘lnlook.” the‘‘Appeal to Common Sense” and the ‘‘Police Gazette” to fill space in their res pective sheets but owing to our present enormous salary have declined. Our present remuneration for service rendered is nothing, and we have the assur ance of the editor that he intends to double our salary. That’s good, I s’pose by the time I get out I will owe the paper .some thing. VICTORY AGAIN SELECTED TO PERCH ON RIVAL’S STANDARD (Continued from first page) the base runner to come home Benning raised a fly to Lovely at left, but our dependable little garden er was off color and missed his chance, Benning going to second while Loney added another to the Colt’s score. Easton secured a pass. Dugan popped one out to second that Harry cared for. Hoy tried to slip another high one over to left but Lovely pulled it down. Pommerville grounded to center for a safe single. Easton scored; but Pom. was tagged trying to steal sec ond. 3 hits —5 runs —2 errors. For the M. S. P., Bergie singled to left. Wood drove a fly to Pom merville at center. Red singled to right. Grumray fanned. Lovely raised a fly to Pommerville, 2 hits —0 runs. In the fifth Byle grounded to short, but Wood fielded the ball in a nice style catching the runner at first. Shattuck made a nice bunt that carried him to first then stole his way around to the keystone sack. McClellan was whiffed. Loney’s bunt brought Shattuck home, while he made first. Benn ing fouled a fly that Laff got under. 2 hits —1 run. For the M. S. P., Carl singled to left, went to second on an over throw, kept on to third and on a second wild throw came to the plate. Harry grounded to second, but failed to outrun the fielders re covery. Saxo lined out a fly to left that Byle took care of. Laff popped one out to second but Shattuck let it slip. Bergie grounded to short. Laff was tagged on reaching second. 2 hits —1 run —1 error. In the sixth, Easton fanned. Dug an singled. Hoy made a safe bunt. Pommerville grounded to second but was nailed at the initial sack. Byle’s grounder to third was equally a failure as he nailed on his arrival. 2 hits—o runs. For the M. S. P., Wood bunted but to no avail. Red singled to center. Grummy fanned. Lovely grounded to first. 1 hit —0 runs. In the seventh, Shattuck popped one out to third that slipped thru Red’s fingers, the batter going to first and then annexed the next two sacks by theft. McClellan drove a high one to left that Lovely had no excuse to miss but he did, Me., going to second on the error and to third on a poor return. Shattuck scored. Loney popped up an easy one to short, but Wood missed it Me. scored while the* batter made first;however he was caught napping off the sack a moment later. Ben ning fanned. Easton grounded to third, and while Red fielded the ball in short order and had plenty of time to throw a safe to first, he lost his head and threw a mile too high. Dugan whiffed. 0 hit —2 runs —4 errors. For the M. S. P. Carl singled to first and by a wild throw came home. Harry fanned. Saxo hammered out a double to center, and by try ing to squeeze a three bagger out of it favored by luck and a wild throw he was enabled to reach the plate. Laff singled to left and stole his way to third. Bergie fanned, Wood singled to right, Laff scored. Red bunted an out to first. 4 hits —3 runs. In the opening of the eighth, Van replaced Gruramy in the box and Smith went to left field, Lovely go ing to the bench, as he was suffering from a cramp in the side. Hoy led off and was given his base on balls, but was caught napping off the sack a moment later. Pommerville fanned. Byle raised a fly to left but an easy out was muffed by Smith, the batter going to second. Shattuck drove out a grounder to short but it was field •ed in jig time by Wood, catching the batter at first. 0 hits-0 runs-1 error. For the M. S. P. Van led with a ground drive to third, but Loney’s fielding was too fast for him. Smith had 2 —3 called on him, and as the next ball pitched looked easy be tried for it and missed, but so did the catcher and the batter was en titled to his base on a passed ball, but he apparently became flurried for instead of going to first, he went to the bench forcing the Umpire to call him oat. Carl popped up a fly; but Hoy failed to to hold it, then he stole second and came home on McClell an’s wild throw to third, Harry singled to center and was given sec ond on a passed ball. Saxo ham mered out a two-bagger to left, scor ing Harry. Laff fouled a fly that Hoy cared for. 2 hits —2 runs —1 error. In the ninth McClellan fan ned. Loney grounded an out to short. Benning singled to center, stole sec ond. Easton was whiffed: 1 hit —0 runs. For the M. S. P. Bergie drove out a two bagger to left. McClellan’s second pitched ball struck Wood on the head. With a man on each of the two first sacks, Bell hammered out a grounder to third that Loney corralled and held, Bergie was thus forced out. Wood stole third and re peated the performance to the plate a moment later, Bell in the mean while had annexed a position on third and came in on Smith’s single to center. Carl fanned; 3 hits-2 runs. Score By Innings. Gelhar Colts: 2-3-3-5-1-0-2-0-0.—16 M. S. P. : 3-0-0-0-10-3-2-2—ll Batteries: McClellan and Hoy. Grummy, Van and Laff. Umpire Keck. JOKERS’ BUO6ET By PADDY And now everybody has a fish story to tell! The Editor was seen with a base ball suit on at the last ball game. Some claim he caught a fly, but Kal says it was a skeeter he caught, as he saw it light on his neck. If you want to see the nearest ap proach to perpetual motion, just go into a second hand store and watch Isaac’s hands while he is trying to sell you a four bit watch for a five case note. This is what we pipes in the lo cals. '‘Another scribbler is back with us again,” of course that is no sign we have been chasing the great White Way, or ever been absent when the gong sounded at meal times. If you happen to be strolling a bout 2A. M. and not wishing to have any arguemenl on the matter, and you tried to get in the house and into bed without waking your wife; and just as you had almost succeeded, you stumbled in the bare hallway and stepped on the house cat, which let out a yowl that not only woke your wife but all the neighbors too —wouldn't it jar you? Levi had a little second hand store, and one morning on going down to open up for business, he found that the place had caught fire and gone up in smoke during the night and that the only thing standing to mark the place where his store was the night before was the tall brick chim ney, after wringing his hands in an guish for a few minutes, he was heard to mutter, “Oh! Lord I wish I was dead. Just then one of the bricks that was loose on the chimney fell and hit him on the head, and looking up in the sky he said “Oh! Lord can’t you take a joke? POPULATION Week Ending Wednesday, July 21 Number of Inmates at New Prison 1026 Number in First Grade *....822 Number in Second Grade 191 Number in Third Grade 13 Number of Inmates at Old Prison ] Number in First Grade I Number in Second Grade 0 Number in Third Grade 0 Total Population of.both prisons 1027 Received during week 1 Discharged 10 Paroled 1 Last Serial Number 4987 CHAPEL PRO6RAM SUNDAY JUy 18th The following is the program rendered in the Auditorium last Sunday; Father Corcoran officiating. March TheHarleqium Orch’tra Waltz Fount’D Amour Orch’tra Hymn. Jesus keep me near the Cross. Cong Scripture Fr. Corcoran Reverie Spring Song Orch’tr Prayer Fr. Corcoran Gospel Reading Fr. Corcoran Sermon Fr. Corcoran Hymn..My faith looks up to Thee.-Cong. March Turkish Trophies Orch’tra Albert Schmidt Musical Diiactor.