TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28. 18S0.
OUB SUII DAY 8ERMON.
"Judge not, that ye be not judged," it a
Divine command, but how little attention
gien it, or how many o!n?j thi coin
mnd of the Supreme ruler of the universe?
Not many, we venture to awirt. And vet
this 18 oneof tlie iuohI eay of the lawn of
God to keep. Thin in one above all other
that every one should keep. What right
have we to know, or by what jwwer can we
look into the thought and wind of other
nd wee the moiivn that actuate them to
do certain thing, for which every one i
readv to condemn them. Stop firnt and
think what may be the circumstance by
which they are iirrounded, and which, if
thrown about jou, might cause you Io do
the fame thing that other are doing. You
tee come one in the company of person
about whom you know something which
stamp them a unfit to aonociate with, b it
do vou know the motive that actuate the
other peron in keeping the ostracized oneV
company? There may be mny reawnn
for their being associated together at timec
of which you can know nothing, therefore
do not judge and pa sentence on the one
about whom jou know nothing wrong,
imply because that H?non in ay be neen in
the comptny of (to you) an unfit awciate.
You may think that many of our professor
of religion have not enough of the grace of
God in their heart, but that i not for you
to say, "Judge not, that ye le not judged "
Remember the injunction and leave them
for One who is competent to judge, to pa
sentence upon, and keep firct the ''dirt from
your own door." By o doing you will le
kept buisy,- so that you will not have m
much time to find out the fault of other f
more unfortunate perhap than your If.
Practice another of the grc wet cliar
ity, and leave the judgement of your fellow
sojourner here below to Him before whom
all will sometime have to stand and make
answer for every act of which we have In-en
The Result of Bad Manners.
A collision -recently occurred while an
Italian commercial traveler was eating a
bologny sausage on railway train. The
shock of the collision drove the knife so
violently against his mouth as tc widen it.
He brought suit for damages. The defense
was that the injuries were caused by the
knife ; that the knife should never be car
ried into the mouth, and that the plaintiff
having injured himself by reason of hi bad
habits in eating, must take the consequen
ces, and pay his own doctor' hill.
People will not lie so very foolish that
they will allow themselves to be deceived
with a new Cough Syrup when they have
experienced the value of Dr. Bui IV Cough
Cough Syrup for many years. Priw 25
Yesterday, before the city recorder, an
interesting two-familied light was had iu
in the shape of a law suii. One Hartman
had his neighbor, whose name is Gardner,
arrested for disturbing the eace of himself
and family, and he alleged that Gardner
and family had thrown hot water, brick
bats and other unhealthy missiles and sub
stances toward himself, his houe and
family. The entire neighborhood was
present as witnesses. Attorney Felix pros
ecuted and Steele defended for the parties.
It was a jury trial and after a four hour's
siege a verdict of guilty, and a judgment
againt Gardner for $1 and cost wa entered
up. It now remains to be seen which of
the two families will throw the next brick.
Funny Things to See.
An unwind? politician.
A wealthy country editor.
A newsboy without cheek.
Susan B. Anthony wearing pants.
A woman who was never jealous.
Dr. Mary Walker wearing dresses.
A married man wno never lied to his
One dog in a hundred with a licene
Henry Ward Beecher with hi- hair
A political orator who didn't denounce
corruption in office.
An ex-army officer who had a title be
low the rank of captain.
A woman who doesn't wear false hair,
also, one who doesn't pad.
Some of the rowdies on our street cor
ners dispersed by the police.
An American girl who wouldn't marry
a foreign count if she had half a chance.
Bob Ingersoll badly sc-tred, ami on his
knees trying to get solid with the Lord be
fore death cooked hi goose.
A twenty dollar gold piece right in the
little fist of the Bazoo man subject to no
incumbrances, and pursued by no credi
tors. What the "Bazoo" Would Like to
Our next president.
Ice as cheap as dirt.
An oyster in a church stew.
Suitable weather for everybody.
A lot of big weddings this fall.
A polilicion speak his convictions.
Your name on its subscription bonk.
The deadly weapon fellows all cala
boosed. Who the young man is that is known by '
More religion and less beer at camp
meetings. Ladies take off their hats and bonnets in
The young man who wouldn't like to
"see her home."
At least three circus companies here
Niagara Falls run up over the falls 11J
minutes, just for a change.
Political organs grind out the truth
without a single false note.
Cows and hog prevented from running at
large in the city.
A brick or stone sidewalk in front of
every house in the city.
What kind of a rooster will perch itself
upon the White House this trip,
A wealthy man who grumbles not at im-
aginary poverty when the petition is
Purity in ballot as well as that linen
garment which is being so tauntingly
flaunted in the face of the democracy.
A few 'of those wretches who amassed
fortunes from the people of Sedalia, ex
pend a mere pittance of it, at least, in
beautifying our city.
Bronchitis, a Fremontter
of consumption, is characterized by
catarrh or inflammation of the mu
cus membrane of the air pjssages
with cough and expectoration,
short breath, hoarseness, pains in
the chest. For all bronchial affec
tions, sore throat, aphonia or loss
of voice, coughs, "Da. Swayne's
GOMPOCND KVKUP OF WlLD
CHKBRYf"is a well-known curative.
Price 25 cents, and $1 a bottle, or
six bottles $5. The large size is
the most economical. Prepared
oaly by Dr.'Swayne &Son, Phila
delphia. Bold by all prominent
draggists. An occasional dose of
Swayne's Pill should be taken o
keep the bowels free.' They are
excellent for torpid liver and bil
FIRE AT PABSOHS
A Fifteen Thousand Dollar Blaze I
in That Thrifty City.
Sxfi:it Ii-kiU!i to the lliZ"" j
Paksoxs, Kap , Sept. 25, 18S0.
Parsons was again viiled by a disastr
ous fire, one half of a principal business
block wa completely de-tioyed, causing an J
immense loss to the property owners ana
The Cre originated by the explosion of a
kerosene lamp at one o'clock a. tu. in
Howe's meet market, a one story frame
building. The market was soon consumed
and the llauie wa communicating to, and
soon consumed the following two story
frame business houses : Sitonahle saloon.
Bean & Lindsey's saloon, Komig's mer-
chant tailoring establishment, millinery j
hou-e, Johnson's boot aim shoe Mure aim
Hensori's Itoot waking establishment. Thus
destroying six business houses on Johmon
nid two on Kiggs avenues. 1 he building
were obi, hut tin ir Ivc.ttion was the best
intheciiv. 1 he estimated loss wa $lo,-
000, on which there wa a slight insurance.
P.trsott ha no tire department and the
tlunes were checked bv the citizens
pulling down a building in the line of the
daze. Thi is the third disastrous fire
that has visited the city within one month.
A comicl feature ot the blaze was the
frantic effort of .Sponny, the fat and
funny saloonist, to rescue hi new gorgeous
uniform as drum ujr of the Parsons
band from the ll.tmes. 4 Sioony" is five
feet high and weighs two hundred and forty
pounds. He made things howl until his
huge white hat and red coat were rescued.
He saved the suit.
Vehicle Struck by a Train.
L ist evening, as a teamster named John
Hall, who reside on Lamine street, be
tween Sixteenth ami Seventeenth streets,
was loading his household furniture on hi
wagon, preparatory to moving to Warsaw,
the horse and rrule which composed
his team, became frightened by the
approaching M , K. and T. freight train,
and ran en the track in front of the same.
Mr. Hall, fortunately, was not in the wagon
at the time the team lecame frightened.
The engine struck the team, killing the
horse and destroying the wagon. As Hall
is a very jnior man the loss i keenly felt,
and already larce hearted neighbors and
citizens talk of contributing funds to him
to replace his loss.
Smart Board of Aldermen.
The other day the board of alder-
i-itVi a irpnir (Imiruft f t mm twite
ill V M IIIIU t a iiwiiiicii va ti uiiii.tc
said that they had made a huge dis
coverv. Bv their vigilance they had
added 8130,000 to tlie ased list of
Sudalias property, which by their
keeuness would accrue about S7M) to
the city's revenue.
Just as soon as this iiutt-.utaiit dis
Icovery was made they limited a news
paper rejwirter to get it into print in
order that they might pave their way
to a future election and to stand solid
with their constituents.
Westcnberg'sadditioii to Scdalia and
the Garrison had not been assessed.
To complete their piece of cheek, they
lragged V. ht. Middletoti, the county
assessor into the scheme, and at his
door laid the blame, as he had failed
io assess the property in quest ion.
What big men we are to find all
in is. .
Later it is discovered that Mr. Mid- Maggie Nelson, daughter of James M.
dleton did assess the Weston lierg ad-' Nelson, of Boonville.
dition. as his books show. j Tlie contracting parties hold high
Still later it is discovered that the . iKisition in Boonville and central Mis
Garrison House belongs to the Pacific jSouri, and the announcement as above
railroad, and is assessed by the State . will cause quite a flutter among the
Board and certified to Palis county, j friends of the young couple who are
Sedalia board of aldermen who made so soon to join their future welfare,
these wonderful discoveries should le ! The Bazoo joins their many friends
voted leather medals. in Scdalia and Central Missouri in
"Those who gave the infor-1 wishing this couple a fine future aud a
mation to the reporter, did not mean ! steamboat load ot happiness for all
to reflect upon Assessor Middletoii." 'time to come.
Oh ! of course not, but they did not The wedding will be a very quiet
care so long as they could make their and private one, only the immediate
constituents lelieve they were so verv relations of the to-be-msrried couple
Later the renorter blasts the board
for giving him false information about
the assessment. He justly gives them
fits for misleading him.
When will these smart Alecs learn
to be content to do their straight duty
and let alone any electioneering, let
what might Kumra ?
A Male Corset Wearer.
There is a young gentleman iu this
city who wears corsets, and the first
beautiful young lady who will ascer-
I in his name and report the'
me to the Bazoo wiil be al-i
lowed to kiss the BaOO man and ,
will be presented with a lock of hair ,
rthat formerly adorned the cranium
of Joseph, whom
IVili'!i'i uil'li:i'l throun iu prison
Il'c:4ii-' h umiMn'l mix her tvpiitatmn uitli
(Fir particulars see Bible and small
A Bride's Toggery.
A freshly made bride at the depot
last evening went down in her pocket
... B i i.i.-.'
after her nurse and discoveted that it
was missing. She came to the conclu
sion that it was iu her trunk, which
was on the baggage truck, and, hav
ing it set out on the platform, opened
it and began a search, which was
warded with success. The eyes of iht ,
newspaper fiend weie greeted with
more things tbau he ever saw iwfore
more than was ever dreamed of in
his philosophy. When well diessed,
a woman is fearfully and wonderfully
Hancock and English Veterans.
A club liearing the aliove name tvas
organized at the court house
a large numner were
Van Pet ten was elect-j
ed president and Emmet Philips sec
retary. Sspeeches were made try lion,
Jno. F. Philips and John Ferguson.
No one was admitted as memliers of
the cluh except ex-soldiers or sailors, j
vjreai euuiusutsiu iuuaiicu.
KNOB NOSTEB ITEMS.
Mr. Cyrus W. Newkirk, of Sedalia,
was in our town Friday.
Miss Minnie Kimberlan. of Independ
ence, is visiting Mrs. Charles Littlefield.
Mr. G. Green waM, of PhiUdelphi-t,
took a stroll through our streets on
Sterling P. Baker, C. Cary, Charles
Iieaty, ZickXesbit, Jno. Bardon and Will
Hogan, have returned from the Kansas
Dr. W. H. Workman and Jno. J.
Howard returned from the Kansas City
fair last night, and we think they are still
Mr. E. D. Crawford has returned to
our town, and will devote all his time and
attention to his paper here, the "Gem," and
will make it one of the liveliest in this
Robberies have been very numerous
here in the last few months, and no clue
can be found who the thief or thieves are.
Last night Collins A Birdon's store was en
tered and robbed of about $200 worth of
knives and pistol.
NOT FOR JOE.
Allen Carries the Second Dis
trict. Si--wl ti tin .SuikUj Morsmg Rummi.
.St. Louis, September, 25.
The democratic primaries in the
second congressional district was held
to-day and resulted in the election of
delegates pledged to Thou. Allen. loe
Pulitzer, inauager of the l't
Diwtch, the only man iu the
Held against Tom Allen, failed to
tram a single ward or townslnn.
This insures the district to the de-
,11(.nlv , lne VllVemher election.
Crittenden at 8t Jo.
j-ul iotheSnn!ay Morning Bazoo.
.St. Louis, Sept. 25. A special to
the Republican from St. Joe says that
T. T. Crittenden spoke to a large and
enthusiastic crowd at that place last
night. He alluded to his visit to In
diana, and spoke encouragingly of
the prospects in the Hoosier state.
WHO IS SHE?
And Doea the Moberly Villain Still
A St. Iuis drummer, who shall
!e nameless, for fear we would have
to visit the field of action, had a girl
at Sedalia a good girl, too. He
loved that maid ; he lavished affec
tion on her which stuck like varnish
to a carriage wheel, and, unlucky
lly, he was stuck to his own varnish,
tie used to make it convenient to go
to Sedalia often. His convenience
doesn't lead hi in in that direction now.
He went to see that girl the other day,
and they sat iu the parlor aod talked
over old times, present times and fu
ture times. She even went so far as
to let him squeeze her hand, just like
she tlid two weeks before, when she
promised never, never, never; no.
to prove faithless. When the
taffy was boiled down to a consistency
for pulling, and as the youug man
was waiting for things to cool, there
(time a young man into the parlor,
and she, rising; said : "Mr. ,
allow me to introduce to you my hus
band. The c mtiniiation of this
pathetic story can lie had by applv
ing to the proprietor of the story, who
is at the Grand Central. Moberly
The Bazoo is going to tell it. It
is the boss news. It comes fiom
lioonviiie nv m gentle voice, and was
whispered iuto the confiding ear of
the reporter. A lady told it and
I ud, "vou must not tell. Lou Sste-
phens, son of Col. J. L. Stephens,
i a mar
win te married on kjcu o to -hiss
Dr. Snoddy's new drug store is rapidly
S. T. Lupe shipped one car load of fat
cattle to St. Louis this week.
Our'road overseer.is busy repairing the
roads and bridges in this district.
There is ome whet shipped from
tiiis place. Price 70c to 75c per bushel.
The farmers are very busy now sowing
wheal. What has come up looks very well.
Our carpenters are all busy now.
There is so much improvement going on in
i M I.tT ljlUailllltT II11IIN I1IHII1IIT 1 1 fill I III .
ti. .. r : 1 1 l -i i
ine a larg grain house convenient n the
mills for the purjiose of storing grain.
Drs. Jayne and Campbell have closed
their trade, so that Hr. Campbell becomes
. a citizen of thii pluce and Dr. Jayne emi
grates to knsar.
, The store house formerly used as a
grange store is undergoing repairs, and we
are informed parties will soon ojien out a
new stock of goods in it.
C C. Kemp has purchased the house
immediately south of J. J. Penquile's drug
-'ore 'c! "n,.cn ,,e .Wl " w"
nrt of October, and there h
to which he will remove about the
is patrons will
tint! the Southern house.
FILOT GROVE ITEMS.
Hon.Jno. T. Heard was in town Tues
day on business.
??eed Stephen and wife Were recent
Kuesisnf W. II Finney's family.
There are twice as mny goods io town
than at any one time before. Nothing is
licking to fill the cup of happiness hut
plenty ol buyers.
Geo. Mast in, an irate colored individ
u.tl, was arrested anil fined $S for cruelly
bulling his daughter.
ThtK. Colbert, Eu , and Miss May
Firmer were iinileil in wedlock's holv estate
lhurwlay evensng at the Methodit church.
Several gentlemen of hirle scalp
notoriety have under advisement a trip to
Kureka Spring", Balboa like, searching for
a touutaiii that will restore youth.
The political canvas is becoming more
eud more complicated with the bond que.
I turn, and before the November election the
Utter question will be paramount to all
Nat Harris has accepted a position in
his uncle's store and will handle ribbons
during the winter, after which be may pos
sibly join Moody and Sankey in the revival
Henry Whitney, proprietor of the res
taurant, has sold out and will soon leave
for a more lucrative tHd in which to cater
to the appetites of the hungry. His sac
cessor is a cyclone-wrecked man from Mor
The first threshing machine accident of
the season happened quite recently near
here. Green Wooldndge, the victim, lost
the end of bis angers between two cogs.
First blood for Wooldndge.
A petition for a dramshop known as
"Hell's toll gate," was circalated during
the past week, and received a few signer,
but a very large and respectable majority
of the people are advene to the estanlithr
ment of anv such institution.
I have no more doubt of tbe beneficial
effects of Warner's 8afe Kidney and Liver
Cure than 1 have that the Genesse river
empties into Lake Ontario. Rev. J. E.
Rankin, D. D. Washington, D. C.
CLIHTOH IT BUI.
Personal and Otherwise Gone to
Texea-That Good Hotel -All
About a Weddina; Amcog
the Plat Yoota-
Will Wtight is in Texas.
Mias Josie V. Wright is at Dallas,
Texas, visiting her sister.
North Rockwell, of Sedalia, i clerk
ing at the old reliable Allen house.
Clinton has two fine flouring mills.
The reputation of these mills extends to
Texas and St. Louis.
Miss Ida Clothier, a popular young
lady of llolden, is one of the teatuers in
the Clinton public school.
Marsh P. Wright is absent at Hot
Spring, Arkansas, in quest of health and
rest, tie will return early in September.
Prof. Jno. G. Clarke, Jr., the popular
dancing master, will be detained here a
few days longer than he had expected. He
will be in Sedalia by October 1st.
Sol Blatt's livery stable is one of the
boss establishments of southwest Miwour.
His horses, carnages and turn-outs are
second to none in any town in this part of
the state. Drummers know him snd bis
The St. Stephen Hotel, with mine
urbane host Ragland at the helm, i a
good place fur a traveler to register. His
accommodations are of the best and as for
kind treatment he and his employes stand
at the head.
"Pinafore" and "Trial by Jury'' was
played by a home company at the City
Hall on Thursday, Friday and 8turd ty
nights, last to good houses. Dr. H. T.
Cooper personated "Sir Joseph," while
Miss Fannie Highnote was the fascinating
J. B. Colt started for Weathrrfor.!,
Texas, a tew days ago to continue his work
on the Texas Pacific road. He took with
him one car load of mules and one car
load of harness and supplies. Wesley Gra
ham, G. H. Dorman, C. H. Blatt and H.
O. Highnote accompanied Mr. Coll and
will be employed in different capacilit-s on
Robert Cameron, the principal of the
negro school here a very trifling white
man has bten charged with whipping his
wife one day last week. Mrs. C. is quite a
delicate woman. The neighbors were quite
indignant at the acts of the moaster. Mrs.
Cameron has left ber brutal husband and
gone to her relatives.
A few days ago a most extraordinary
wedding occurred here. I bey were from
die ''Flat Foot Nation." The wedding party
arrived in town about 9 a. m. It consisted
of Mr. and Mrs. Clint Edmonds, mother
and step father of the bride, Geo. T. Gran
ger, the groom, Luciuda Jane Breeding,
the blushing bride, and a kid about four
years old, half brother of tbe bride.
When the partv reachtd town they iule
the rear end of Kike's gn..T .-tore
headquarters, where Luanda Jane put on
her white toggery and young Granger
parted his back hair ready for the cere
mony. When all was ready, the old man
and woman led the way out of the grocery
past barrels of sugar, sacks of coffee, bask
ets of sweet potatoes and tubs of long red
beets and large flat turnips, leading the
barefooted kid by the band, followed by
the pair about to be married.
'Square Starrett's office was the objective
point and thither they went, followed by
Charlie Dorman, Dr. J P. Dimmitt and
the Bazoo representative. When the party
passed Sberuisn's place the old man bireri
his head and audibly whired: "God
bless 'em, and you'll all cum to my grate
sho next spring."
When the party arrived at the justice's
office, which was reached through a long
flight of s.airs, dingy from dust and long
use, "Walk in," said the urbane judge, as
he stood as erect as a rooster in an April
shower, "what kin I do for this party to
make 'em 'appy ?" be continued, addressing
"Make two hearts beat as one," sid
Charlie, getting-redder in the face than a
scraped beet, and at the same time pointing
to the young couple now standing before
"1 want that ere man to give the bride
away," said the mother, laughing, as she
pointed to Dr. Dimmitt.
That's me," smilingly said the Doctor.
The judge asked the usual questions, and
after Dr. Dimmitt gave the bride sway,
Tom Slarrett, loud enough to have been
heard to Grand River and back, said:
"In the name of God and the laws of
Missouri, I pronounce you man and wife.
Those whom God hath joined together let
no man put asunder."
Starrelt then shook hands with the
couple, and wished them a happy future.
Tbe Bazoo representative then aked the
"Where are you from ?"
Granger I am trotu Cowley county,
Reporter Where do you live now ?
G -(Looking at his feet) In Flat
Foot Nation at the forks of
Big creek and Grand river, nine miles west
R How old are you ?
G Nineteen years eight months and
R How old is your wife ?
(i Fourteen years, seven months and
R Why, you had it all fixed up?
G Yt-s,Lucinda and I and theole woman
reckoned it up last night.
R Now, Mr. Granger, I am the repre
sentative of a tirst-claa paper, published
for the people now on earth, that you
Old woman Will it have this 'ere wed
din' in it?"
R Certain as you live in Flat Foot
The old woman and her daughter both
looked at their feet
G I'll take that 'ere paper.
Tbe Granger groom ttien paid the judge
and tbe printer all at one time.
They took dinner in tbe rear end of
Don's grocery and then visited the photo
graph gallery and had their pictures ta
ken. Subsequently, as the sun was sinking
toward the western horizon, they pointed
their noses toward the Flat Foot Nation,
and, no doubt, are happy as clams to this
no use in drugging yourself
to death, and buying all the vile medicines
for internal use. when you can he cured of
fever and ague, dumb ague, bilious dis
eases, janndice, dyspepsia, as well as all
disorders and ailment of the liver, Mood
and stomach, by wearing one of Prof.
Guilmette's French Liver Pad, which is a
sure cure every time, it your aruggisi
does not keep the pad, send $1.50 in a let
ter to French Pad Co., Toledo, O., and it
will be seat you by mail. It is tbe only
pad that is guaranteed to cure. Beware
of counterfeits. For a de by Aug. Fleisch
mann, druggist, corner Second and Ohio
Acquittal of Dsn. X. Xidd.
In tbe St. Clair circuit court last week,
the case of the state against Dan. E. Kidd,
came up for trial. Kidd, it will he remem
bered, had a difficulty on March 1st last
with Jno. Flanders, his tenant, in which
Kidd shot Flanders twice, the most seri
ous being a pistol shot in bn lelt arm.
Kidd wa indicted tor assault wits intent
to kill. Last week when tbe case was
called in 0eoIa Judge Sivage and J. B
Gantt, of Clinton, appeared for the state;
Col. Boone, of Clinton, and Jno. C. Fergu
son, of Osceola, for tbe defence. Tee jury
were only a short time finding a verdict of
not guilty. Henry County Democrat.
Not so fast my friend ; if yoa could see
the strong, healthy, blooming men, women
aad children that have been raised from
beds of'sickneaa.sufering aad almost death,
by the sac ol Hop Bitters, yon would say
"Glorioas aad invaluable reawdy." See
another colaau. Philadelphia Pram.
A Hogro Family Driven From
Home in South edalie on
A negro family, consisting of husband,
wife and four children, wboae name the
Bazoo reporter was unable t learn, who
resided in a smalt house belonging to Mr.
Britt, situated on the West side of Lamine
street, and being the first house south of
the M., K. AT. crossing, wer driven from
home on Friday night about ten o'clock.
That night, a party of tea or twelve men
were seen in front of the" house. One ot
them threw s large rock against the front
door, breaking it is. Tbey then pelted the
bous?, windows, doors and roof with clubs,
brickbats and other missels, soon breaking
in ail the window and making it danger
ous to life to remain inside the hoase. The
family escaped through the back door and
ran for their live. Not a word was spoken
by the assailants and it is not known
whether they were white or black. The
cause of the mobbing is not yet known.
The hous has unfortunately had n bad
claso of tenants, and was once known as a
house of prostitution.
A Bazoo reporter learned on inquiry yes
terds that there had been a great deal of
comp'aint made by tbe white people resid
ing near there recently to the eBVct that
this family of negroes had insulted respect
able white ladies while pacing along the
street near the negro residence.
Whatever may have been the cause of
the bombtrdment, the cleaning out wm ef
fectual. The affair will probably be in
vestigated by the police, and the brick bat
heavers be fined for the misdemeanor if they
can he discovered.
Mr. C. O'Odlahan, of 171 Sycamore
street, is another grateful witness to the in
fallible power of St. Jacobs Oil, which he
tells us has made a new man of him. Cin
cinnati Irish Citizen.
A CENTURY PLAHT.
A Colored Woman In Sedalia Yes
terday Who is Over 100
Years of Age.
Walking around on our streets yester
day was an aged negro female who look
ed like a relic of a past age. With all
due respect to the old lady, her features
had a wierd, dried up sort of a look as of
an aged Eypuin mummy just getting
back to life. She walked very slowly and
with apparent effort tnd seemed to be very
frail. Struck by her singular appearance,
Bazoo reporter walked with her down
the street and said to her, "Missu, beg par
don, but will you tell me your age?" ' I
am one hundred years and eleven months
old, sah," she replied, straightening up
her crooked back and loosing back her
head proudly as if half in scorn andhalf in
pity, she looked down Umn us poor devils
who are compelled to struggle for all we
are worth to reach fifty vears.
The reporter learned from her that she
was horn in "Virgiuny," that her name
was Ann Nelson ; that her home was in
Fayette, Howard county ; that she was in
Sedalia visiting friend, and that her gen
eral health was good.
The old lady must have chewed an im
mense amount of fun out of that one hun
dred years that she has gtuwed fl from
theniinre pie of time.
Most of us will be old settlers in the
next world, where we will be silting
around of evenings and telling lies of the
long winters and the deep snows that we
s: :n in that post-mortem state just after
we arrived there before this old indy will
Over 155,000 Howe Scales sold. Bor
den, Selleck A Co., Agents, St. Louis, Mo.
They Have a Railroad.
Yes, at last ! The deep rumbling, tbe
familiar racket, the puffing and blowing,
the ringing of bells and the deafening
whis;le of the "iron horse, i heard in the
land yes, it is heard at the depot in But
ler. Fellow citizen, the Times is the first
newspaper in Butler to announce and wel
come the coming of the first train, and
hastens to congratulate you upon the
It was about noon on Sunday last that
the laying of rails reached the depot
grounds, witnessed by hundreds of men.
women and children 'aints and sinners"
the Godly and the ungodly the colored
and the iincolored alike all were there
and so were we. Bates County Times.
Answers to Correspondents.
In reply to the many inquiries which we
have received regarding a most prominent
modern remedy we would say : To the best
of our belief Warner's Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure is pure in its nature, efficient
in its action snd certain in its results. We
have learned of some remarkable cures
which it has effected and believe that as a
(preventative of disease it i unequaled.
! For delicate ladies and enfeebled men it is
invaluable and its pure vegetable qualitits
commend it to tbe favor and use of all.
Brooklyn boasts of a man so really
pious that be doesn't kiss or make love to
his cook none other than his wife.
He is supposed to have strayed over into
the city of preachers and pastoral calls
from the wicked sand bars of New Jersey.
An Elegant Toilet Preparation,
hair dressing and restorative is found in
"London Hair Color Restorer." It seldom
fails to restore gray xor fading hair to its
original youthful color and beauty. Fall
ing hair is checked by its use, and it pro
duces a growth of beautiful young hair,
soft, glossy and luxurient that surprises
every one. These properties added to its
exquisite perfume and purity of composi
tion, render it the growing favorite of the
toilet everywhere. It certainly is the most
cleanly and effective hair lestorer now be
fore the American op!e.
A. A. Gibwn, Barrytown, Dutch
county, N. Y.. writes : Dr. Swayae A Son,
Philadelphia. Gents. I enclose a postoffce
order for $8 ; please seed me one doses
"London Hair Color Restorer." it has
stdoped my hair from falling, and restored
it to its natural color. It has proven satis
factory in every respect. The "London
Hair Color Restorer can be obtained of
all the leading druggists at 75 cents a hot
More Boot of all Xvil.
Havre, bent. zo. lbe steaner
Gellert, from Hamburg, took on board
here $100,000 in gold for New York.
The LasiestCity in the World Ex
cited. London, Sept. 25. Admiral Sey
mour's ultimatum to Kiza Pasha has
produced considerable consternation ia
Cincho -Quinine cares chills sad fever
The Atlantic Hoaae, at 314 Ohio street,
furnishes the cheapest aad best boarding ia
the city. Call aad try it. 919dtf.
j A Newapapar Reporter to Whom
Poors Out All
"I made up my mind," said the reporter.
"that if tbe ghost ever appeared ia my ( Beailingtl'a.j t;aeue.
bed-room, I would over come my fears and , A few months ago William Gross
speak to it, instead of burying y he d on- man WM . tnmD in penaVl.
der the clothes, as 1 did the first time.
Well. sir. sure enough, the next nhiht. ex-
artl at eleven. I heard a faint noine bv the.W" that sum being the hrst Hl -
bed, aad I looked around. There sat theistallment from his inheritance from
spectre iu a chair. I sat right up and said ; his father's estate in Germany. Gross -
"Who are you"'
"I'm nobody in particular now," said
tbe ghost, "but I was Adam."
"Had no family name, i nsre was
one issiiij ui w, aim uiej an unrw hur. t
utli.tf.lii.ii .nil Irn... V.... ...ut
t :i I a I 1 1 I
have heard of me."
"Ym iskWd-" said tht nnorier.
I'm sorry I can't shake hands," said
tbe ghost, -but you might as well try t
"Ob, never mind," said the reporter. "I
am glad to see you all the sme."
"Your name is Johnson, ain't it? ' asked
"No, my name is Jackson," replied the
"Pshaw!" said the ghost, UI w&s looking
for a man named Johnson, but my eyesight
is so bad that I could not read your door
plate distinctly. The worst of it. too, is
that I can't wear spectacles; nothing sub
stantial enough to hitch to. I wish seme
of you people would invent an eye-g.ase
that can be worn by near-.-ighted ghosts.
You would confer a genuine benefaction on
the folks in the other world."
"What ws vour bu-dness with Johnson?
Perhaps I can"
"Well, in the first place, I understand
that be is one of a committee appointed to
get up a statue of me for the city of Elmira.
I have been ia to see that statue, and I
want to ask Johnson where he got the idea
that I used to wear a straw bat and side
whiskers. I want to know, also, what
anthority he has for giving uie a Roman
"Hadn't you one of that kind?"
Vhy, man, the R mans hain't intro
duced that variety of ncne in my time !
And Johnson has bad me represented with
huge serntnt lying at my fret. Now,
what was the use of bringing up painful
reminiscences of that kind ? Why not let
the matter drop? Hsngtd if I like it.
"It's an outrage 1"
"Between ourselves," said tbe specter,
locking his misty fingers over his knee, "I
don't think much of the statue business
anyhow. Do you krow what they did?
Too stingy to make a fresh piece of culp
lure out of a piece of marble, they bought
iid a second-hand statue of Bet.jamin
Franklin, at auction, and hired a man to
work it over into me! Doesn't look a par
ticle like me! And anyhow, Franklin was
no kind of a man to make me out of.
Ureenbacker or something wasn't he?"
"We consider him quite respectable."
'Another thing I want with Johnson is
to see if I can't make arrangements with
some reliable spiritualistic medium. I've
been crowded out in the cob! for sbout
4,000 years, with no chance to participate
in anything. Now, I'm the man that
started this world. 1 gave it a send off,
and it really doeseem bard that I can't
even express my views in a new-paper, or
defend myself from calumny j'l-t because I
happen to be dead ; bow doesn't it ?"
"Very hard ! But we didn't know you
took an interest in such thing."
"Ortainly. I often feel as if I'd like to
express aa opinion about the tariff, or the
election', or the buzzird dollar, or popular
education, or something of that kind ; and
thru of coarse. Eve wants to hr ar every
thing about tbe fashions. 1 wish there was
some wty for a ghot to save a little money
so that I could sanscribe to a fashion jour
nal or two, just to quiet her. Do you
know of any I could vt at?"
"How would it do to mtfce an engage
ment at the theatre to appear as the ghost
of Hmlel's father, or a the ghost of Ban
qno?" "It doesn't strike me very favor ibly. It
might be considered ratuer undignified in
the father of the racs to he hanging around
among sceae-shiften and fiddlers. Beside-,
they have too much light on tbe stage for
me ; I can't get into shape unless there is
absolute darkness. And then, you know
I'd be exposed to insult. When we hear a
cock crow we are obliged to flit. Nw sup
pose, right ia the midst of performance,
some miserable boy should crow. Even if
I knew it was a false alarm, I would be so
unnerved that I couldn't go on, but most
likely I'd vanish as soon as I heard it just
from tbe force of habit. No, the proposi
tion don't strike me. Seems unfair though
doesn't it. that a man who owned the entire
earth can't call a dollar his own?
'If a small loan will be of any service to
yon. I will gladly 'said tbe reporter.
'You're mighty kind, hut bere you see,
we encounter another difficulty. Where'
I going to put a dollar when I get it ?' I
haven't got a pocket about me that'll bold
a cent. Young man, a ghost has no show
at all. Keep out ot the business as long as
The reporter said he should.
'And sow I really must be going. The
sun rises so disgustingly early this time of
year. I think I shall go around to-morrow
night aad hunt Johnson if I can find him.
I you should happen to see him I wish
you'd mention it to him so as to prepare his
mind. People are always scarry at first
with us. Perfect nonsense, too ! That is
all I am. Put your band out and feel me.
Don't you see? you can stir all around in
side of me just as if I wasn't there."
"Wonderful!" said the reporter, "very
wonderful. I never believed in ghosts be
fore. The oddest thing is that you, whe
lived so long, should take an interest in
"Rut I do, though," said the spectre.
"Perhaps you would be willing to tell
me If yen are in favor of Hancock or
Just at this juncture the reporter said, a
cock crew in the yard below, and the ghost
of Adam sadden I y vanished. It was most
unfortunate, too, for his political opinions
would have been interesting.
New remedies and old ones under new
naatea are being constantly introduced to
tbe pablic, but Dr. Bull's' Cough Syrup
still takes the lead for the cure of Coughs,
ColdV, etc Price 35 cents.
The Ouray. (Col..) Solid Middocn
says : Two of the slickest frauds in all this
San Juan country are the Little Abbie
Consolidated aad the Ouray Discovering
and Mining company. Both companies
capitalised at $10,000,000 and neither are
worth two whoops in Ingersolrs summ
"wayne'a Ointment and Fills."
THE ftRfcATEST BJdfEMBB THE WORLD HAS
Curing tbe most inveterate case of skin
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skin eruptions, aad that distressing com
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and regulator, Swayne's Tar and 8arsapar
illa Pills are excellent. Cure sick aad
eervees headache, dyspepsia, indigestion,
ward of malarial fevers, cleansing the sys
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to healthy activity every organ of the body.
Price as cents a box, five boxes $1. Oint
ment &e ceats, three boxes $1.25. Caa be
sent by mail to aay address oa receipt of
snee. Add ram letters, Ur. swayae ft Boa,
430 North Sixth street, Philadelphia. Sold
by all leading druggists
A bey to work ia bosk-biadry.
A MICH TRAMP.
Bo man tie Story of a German Who
the Soad to
Good daeetioa and
i ? um " """""J "penning
vania : now he is liberally spend insr
, man una aeiuea in iongswamp town-
Lu: ui. . i S
1 31,1 r ue,M vuuuty, iuu aireauy owua
! stable of nine fast horses. His first
. cash receipt from Germany was 316,-
; 000 in gold, tbeu he received 84.000
, in currency and then a draft for $25,-!
. which he has deposited in the!
(lAi) wU0h ht hail ilpnnMitxl
I W 01011 ne DaS UepOSlleU
nk mh keeping. In a few
months more he exuects another Iarpp
I installment of solid cash from over!
the sea, the result of the sale of his
Ichitia lasv.iumiam aa msn I I
Khiue. Grossman is now kuown as
the'Prince of Middleton," for in that
obscure village he has located for the
preseut. His marriage is one of the
most romantic on record, and the fact
that he spent 9800 a day for knick
kuacks for his bride has exercised the
gossip of tbe country round. Eight
or ten years ago Grossman landed at
Castle Gardeu. He bad shipped at
Bremen. He was a wild, harum-
scarum young German, and his desire,
was to i
ESCAPE A 8IEUE OF YEAR
of uuiversity life. He wanted to come
"to free America" aod partake of some
of the new world.
He said the other day ; "I came
to this countty for experience and to
see strange sights. I bad few cares.
My remittances from home came right
along. When I had money I spent it
like a lord with my friends of the
road, and when I had none I put up
with the ups and downs of tramp life
as well as the rest of them. I didn't
care, either, because I was happy and
the life agreed with me. I had a soft
bed at home, a good table, plenty of
wine and fruit and good society". I
got tired of that. I preferred the free,
open country of Pennsylvania, with
its fat barns and hospitable people. I
uever wronged anyone but myself.
But I got along first rate. I loved
the woods and springs aud mountain
scenery. A tramp has no cares. He
is absolutely free as long as he can
keep out of jail. A smart tramp
need not get into trouble. All be has
to do is to keep out of bad company
and do nothing wrong himself. That
was my plan."
When dressed and shaved Grossman
is an intelligent Iookiug German, with
regular features and dark hair, me
dium in height compactly built, and
HB K QUITE TALKATIVE.
He purchased a house and lot in Long-
swamp towuship, for which be paid
$2,200. His first horse cost him
$200; then he brought a trotter and a
light buggy for $400 ; from a gentle
man at Alburtis be bought a double
team for $600. His passion for horses
soon became known and in a few days
about a dozen stock dealers from Al
lento wn, Reading, Kutztown and oth
er places visited Middletown with
strings of fine animals, and suddenly
that heretofore backwoods village be
came an active, busj horse market.
Grossman bought until at least twelve
horses were in hb stable, and he had
to quit for want stable room. He
was a jolly purchaser, paid cash for all
be got and didn't pretend to know
much about horseflesh anyhow, nor
did he seem to care.
The maiden nan?e of his wife was
Miss Susan Hilbtrt. She is the
daughter of a Lancaster county wood
man. In tbe days of Grossman's pov
erty, he first met her at hsr father's
home, where Grossman came one
pleasant afternoon in autumn. He
rested by a well and very soon he saw
a dark-eyed maiden at the gate. He
engaged her in conversation, and
finally she asked him whether he
wanted a drink of water. "No," said
be, with a roguish twinkle, "It you
have cider or something stronger will
suit me better ; water is too comaon."
The young woman was cbarsaed with
his impudence and she soon produced
a pitcher of hard cider from tbe cellar.
A plate of apples was then set before
the eyes of the
GOOD-LOOKIJta YOUNG GERMAN.
This acquaintrnce soon ripened into
love. Grossman obtained work on a
near-by farm and courted the pretty
Susan as often as he could. Finally
they were engaged, but Grossman nev
er told his affianced that he was tbe
son of a wealthy German land owner
across the sea. Tbey were married by
the village parson and lived with the
brides parental Grossman, however,
soon learned that Hurried life of that
kind was not as he expected and
hoped, so he deterssined to leave that
section of tbe country. He was wild
and impetuous, and he thought the
union was beneath bis station. Still
keeping his secret, he suddenly disap
peared and became a tramp again.
He collected a number of tbe jolliest
tramps on the road that be could find.
Soateof then had been students in
the old country like himself. They
knew him by his assumed came onlv.
When his remittances came they had
the jolliest ot reunions. He had no
. "WW -
aesire to return in Germany, xiis
mode of life had a charm about it that
he could not resist. Finally word
came frost Germany that his old fa
ther bad died. Grossman went iuto
sincere Baourning. His father had
been a kind parent to hiss and bad
written hi at many letters begging hiss
to give up his wandering life and come
back to Germany again. With every
dollar sent to the wayward son was
A FATHER'S BLESSING.
Grose awn's bride in the meantime
had secured a legal separation. When
Grossman's father died the tramp-son
determined at once to give up the life
oa the road. His first thought was
of his dark-eyed Sasaa. Without her
he could do nothiag, He wandered
back to his old home. To his great
astooishsaent he learned that she had
married a wealthy gypsv horse trader.
He resolved to find her and he suc
ceeded. To his treat to? he learned
that she could be far happier with
nisi, her first love. He then told her
that he had fallen heir to a fortune.
Arraageaaeats were atoaea ssade with
the gypsy hftsbaad. Grossman bar-
gained for his wife and the gypsy
' listened to the proposition. The gypsr
accepted a ntty-dollar bill, said good
bye to Susan and Grossman and his
first love happily departed for her fa
thers home. Another divorce was
quickly obtained and Grossman and
Susan were again reunited in happy
marriage. They are norr living ap
parently conteuted in their new home,
and Grossman is living like a prince
wuu iu9 uriue. ne is lavisniv soenu-
iin? monev. but the hridp with an tv
... . -
to business, has hinted at the necessity
, of curtailing expenses and remember-
ing the motto ot the "rainy day
"Q a T a TTVTO
D JL Vjr 1 IN O
Boston 99c Store
New Invoice of Brackets.
New Invoice of Bird Cages.
New Invoice of Tinware.
New Invoice of Oil Paintings.
NEW IN VOICE OF NOVELTIES.
New Invoice of that Celebrated
K. T. K.,
Every piece warranted not to craz. Call
and see u before purchasing, and
No trouble to show
is Quick Sales and Si
Goods. Our motto
f. L. BEITLEB & CO.
HE WAS FROM OHIO.
Waning to Take a Hand in Mioh
From the Ivtrnic Five Pre..
A young man of about thirtv, dress-
red in stout clothes and having a fist
as hard as iron, stood around tbe city
hall for' nearly an hour yesterday as if
waiting to see some procession pass.
He finally seemed to get a little dis
couraged, and accosted a policeman
with the inquiry:
"Whereabout do you keep your
politics iu this town ?"
"Oh, tbey are lying around loose,"
was the reply.
"I don't see any marching around,
nor bear any whoops and yells. I
haven't heard a single hurrah for
either candidate since I got here.''
"It isn't time yet. The pot won't
begin to boil before the first of Octo
ber." "I'm from Ohio, I am" continued
the stranger. "I'm visiting an uncle
out here about six miles, and I've
walked in to-day to how the land
bid. One of the neighbors out there
was telling me last night that things
were store than biling around here.
He was in town only two hours, and
he says be saw four ward poles cut
down and over a dozen fights."
"Haven't heard of no such actions,"
replied the officer.
"Well, I'm considerably disappoint
ed. I'm right on hand iu politics. I
haven't missed a campaign in ten
years, and it's a poor day when I don't
wallop two or three ol tbe opposition.
Then it will be about three weeks be
fore the meat begins to frv ?"
"Yes, about that."
"Then I 'spose I'll have to wait,
though it seems like a long time. Do
you think that a masher who could
break up a torchlight procession, pitch
a speaker off tbe stand, and saw down
ward poles, could get a job here next
"I guess so."
"Then I'll lay for it I'm here on a
visit, as I said before, bat it I can
tarn an honest penny I'll do it. I
strike with bo.b hands and when I
hurrah tle opposition tarn pale. Here
is my name on this piece of paper, ami
if yon can work sse into such a job
I'll be much obliged ami take care
not to mssh any of your chums. I feel
just like picking up tbe leader of a
band and breaking: his back on a
bitching poet. Don't be backward
about reccomending me, for both par
ties in Sandusky will make oath that
I'm a caravan with four elephants in
CHEAPEST AMI BEST PAP
ONLY $1.00 PER AfflfUM.
Postage free to any post
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Subscribers who take the?f
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Pettis Countv, will remit 20
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I. WEST GOODWIN,
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