Newspaper Page Text
THE SEDALIA WEEKLY BAZOO, TUESDAY, JANUARY 31, 1882.
6 THE SOXG OF the DIRT. ELOPING ON HORSEB A 3K. GUITEAn MUST GO. "THE WORD. ii BACHELORS' ROOST. It's dirt, dirt, dirt. In gutter and p:ive and street, JLnd its dirt, dirt, dirt, Wherever wo turn our feet. We back from a river of tilth, That yawns both wide jind free, Only to'strike the sloppy edge Ol a boundless, filthy sea. We step from the curb to the flag, Au i seek a path thro' the flood We step on an aisle of murk, And sink to the knees in mud, Mocs pt 'cros all right The Red Sea way was clear ; Bnt what in the name of all that's foul, What chance would he have here? m . . 1 "Much alarm is lelt over the mysterious disaie:t ranee ol a brewer named Herman lisnpearance of a bre w er named Hu man j Conrad, who 1 It this city last 1 hurray . - l . 1 .1 M T l 'I' . i" . .. Dlglll lV Wie AI. J. e. 1. uaui mi with S2JI00 in money, which he proposed to invest in the brt wvry business at Sedalia. Kothing has been heard of him since his departure from the Union depot" A reporter wa at once detailed to pro coed to the brewery, and ascertain whether JVJO iMecessiuy ior .filtiriii. ( hotiM'-the five lunch counter-was cm the On the 17th inst., th re appeared in the j j..ml 1U a twinkling of an eye. His agiiily Bazoo an advertisement announcing the j WJIS rewarded by tiie sight of an excited dissolution of copartnership heretofore ex- crowd of mixed hoodlums, ''wild cats" and rating lietwcen John V. Siebe and John ; ,,il,tr denizens, and a rapidly retreating Ilehn, the latter gentleman retiring from j vision in the dim distance. This the V the firm. This announcement was foj-, yAm cratcher ascertained, w:u a powerful lowed by a notice Mating that Mr. Martin i teetl mounted by a dashing young hero Conrad had foimed a copartnership with j who bore away a fair damsel with whom Mr. John W. Siebe, the remaining partner. ( j,e uu sloped and was then in -he act of The Kazoo oi the muhc date eontaireti escaping the wrath ol the bullets of he fair in its "Personals,' mention of the arrival th-nisel's pater latniiias The reporter if Mr. Martin Conrad. "It was supposed j seenling an item, repaired to a that Mr. Martin Conrad, as had been ad- eonvement stable, proeured a charger vertised. had Income one of the proprie- :iJU went in pursuit of an item and the tors of the . alalia brewery, and that he j jlore with two riders On, on sped the had made his permanent home with us, j M-rihe ami just as he was about to give up and the Bazoo was startled this morning. t ;ja. chase in disgust and turn hi weary when the following item was discovered in t steps homewarei, he caught a glimpse of a yesterday evening's Si. Louis Chronicle: j ivn cent earf waving to the breeze on a . 1 1 . . a ... a . Mr. Conrad was in town, but upon in- j n;it ing. h.-hfu! way, put the que-iion. .vas quiry learned that the gentleman was not ; Mushiugiy answeinl in the affirmative and 5n the city, but at St. Louis, for w hich j w;i ushered into the presence of the lord place he left on Saturday last to settle up; .MU master, l.eorg. August us Chcap-ide. sonic business. It was further state-!, by j leordie. this is one oi the !' .ao"s nice Mr. Helm, that Mr. Conrad had been seen voting men, come to see about our narrow t the St. Louis Union depot, last night, l y -.ipe; he is a news man." Mr. Theodore Springer, o! thi place, and ; i"ia;s was the ba-hl.il fAZ introduced thatMr. Springer was told by the "missing (ieoidie" looked blood bemuds and gentlemen that he would be back in eda- :round his teeth like one of E-lie iVrkiiis' iia tomorrow morning. This will Jivi- , all i";atr-. The Kazoo "stuoie a smile bably tend to allay the "alarm felt over , which seamed tteUctrily 1tieordie." lor he his mvsterious disapearance,' by Mr. ' jatu.ediatelv ofiered the B.vzoo a chair and Conrad a St Louis Iriends. i Mr. . Martin A. Connolly, a mercli ml in Oil Cit :ny, l'a, writes:"! miieriieo m ; ueaiiii iiiuii jji paieins, HD mi, 'nui hort lived My wite is a sickly little ; uLs in turn excited the animal spirit of Yoman, and has suffered considerably. ;eordie,' who began to look daggers and "We have had live children, three oi whom t tL blood. He pounded the chair, kicktd died in infancy ; the other two, a boy lour j ov,.r tj,e fUtv and -(the reporter was years of age and a girl of seven years, have :llHUit to beg to be excusi d . hi- hair begin always been quite pui y, weak and sickly. njn l( j;h;,, pt.n 'nvi j,j.on iit ceiling; Some time ago I read a medical work that 'j c.Xt.rlj0 having proved too much lor poke of iron as being essential to lile, jrJij, phvsieal constitution, hesiiddenlv that a want oi iron in the blood was the j eoll:iieti to" .shed tears. (The lUzob principal cause of ill health. Shortly u;pea iu eves in svmpathv.) afterward 1 saw an advertisement of "Sow, Ceordie dear, vou feel better, Brown's Iron liitters. 1 determined to don't vou?" try it for myself and family. The result C.eo'rdia "Yes, Ara, I duz; it wuz tu tas far exceeded my greatest anticipation. ! ll)5U.h fur ,ne j couldn't stand it When Myself, wife and children have all grown a fener gets his bussum stocked with." fcealthy ond strong. Sores, aches and j jere the IJaboo was taken with a vio pains, headaches, indigestion and sleep- , jenl nl ol coughing, and upon recovering iefgncss, formerly so common m my fain- 1 Iiinjtrlf took a glance at his ancient time lly, trouble us no more. Jwery Dottle w worth iu weight in gold " Our Immigration. The St. Louis Republican pays: Our im migration statistics continue to grow in Magnitude and interest. In the year end- j ing December ol, we received 71G,8S lin-: migrants 24S,o2i from Germany ; 77,750 1 - 1 1 1 tl,.,. -L. XI . ... from China. The whole number is large enough to found a state as populous as j Maine, or to found five young states each , with a population equal to the represent- tive ratio. It will be observed that the Germans outnumber every other nation- j lity two to one, in the movement of last year. Another remarkable fact i.s! the I Tery large immigration we received from Canada 94.159. The Dominion is not . 1 more inhospitable and rigorous in its climate than the northern part of our country, and we can therefore attribute this large migration of her majesty's sub jects across the border to the superiority of our republican institutions. Renew Your Lease. Thpre are timej in everv one's life when energy fails and a miserable feeling comes over them, mistaken for laziness. Danger lurks in these svmtitoms. as thev arise from diseased organs. Parker's Ginger Tonic will restore perfect activity to the stomach, liver and kidneys, purify the blood, and renew vour lease of health and comfort. Advocate. Mrs. S. K. Bullard's Funeral. The funeral of Mrs. S. K. Milliard was isolemnized at the Christian church, I lev. j J. "W. Mont joy, of Paris, Mo , oftieiating assisted by Kev. Mr. Duncan. There was & large gathering, the church being filled to overflowing. Many beautiful floral offerings covered the casket. The choir consisted of Misses Gist, Marvin and G. C. Hardcastle and Messrs. Ernest Lamy and C. C Hardcastle who rendered appro priate selections. The pall bearers were Messrs H. A.Allen, Ed. llgeufritz, J. II. Both well, Thos. Kehoe, Thus. Fry and un dertaker 8. Chaiiiu, ebcorted the remains to the cemeterv. Discharged. The man Dent alias Harris, alias Wil liams, who was arrested a number of days ago, charged with obtaining goods from llamsey & Hughes on a forged check, was brought before Justice Fisher yesterday afternoon and after due examination was discharged. It seems rather a peculiar circumstance that Dent should be identi fied by Mr. Ramsey as the man who pre sented the check and against this Dent hould prove an alibi. If n&t the man, Dent must have borne a strong resemblance to the culprit to be taken for him by Mr. Ramsey, and to be arrested by the police for answering the description as given by Mr. Ramsey. Society Belles. On account of its remarkably delicate ad lasting fragrance society belles are lead io their praiaee of Floreeton Cologne. irom JMlgiaim aim aie; u,o-; ji oui ; oniv a coumer jumper iiir oiauscaeiuier, Ireland; 94,159 from Canada; 55,805 from getting three dollars a week. We's bt-en en Sweden; 20,824 from Norway, and 20,G2S ! gaged fur a long, long time secretly, The Couple Pursued by an Angry Father, Who Fires Three Shots at the Young Man. What the Bazoo Reporter Learn ed in an Interview Wfth the Lovers. The western portion of the city was thrown into ihe wildcat Mate of excitement est i ly this morning by three pi-tnl shots find in rapid succession. The Bazoo cmimIm U'Iiii u'ris mil litllltllli till Ills llMll CC ' ' " . - - . I - - . - , - - - - lar-awav hill-s;Ie. iv-uewed clients lol- j,,wvd, and in les lime than one can sav i,wvd. and in les lime j ark l,,liinso!i the B . - I . w.oo had drawn rein in Iront of an humble, though neat cottage, whither the scarf had wen led its way. The scribe knocked and was a good eh ai taken back bv the lvt-lv image of V mis that opened up to him. In an in stant, however, the ".ll.v.o s wonted self- ..o-sissioii reluimil to him. and in a lies heganto lire aw a v at lightning rapid it v. lh is excited Mrs. (bonne Augustus heop- sj j , e Arab. Ha Magi.slum,w ho tripped to lhl ide of "(Jeordie Au-j ;ustus" and Ilopjcd ; noon hi- shoulder like a wet dish rair. l)iece ami mildlv suggested that the ll.v'oo went to press at 3 p. in. This cut the "bussum" story short, 4,Geordie" being too much overcome to say anything further. Arabella took up the thread and pro ceeded. "Well, sir, Geordie and me wuz engaged tu be married. You know my lather wuz ' a well-tu-du shoemaker. Ueoruie was you know, fur pa wouldn't let Cieordie cum in the house, Geordie being poor; but he's honest. (Here she looked honey.) Well, sir, we concluded to 'loie. Geordie, unbeknownest tu no one, sep me, left one night and carne down tu Missouri tu get a house. Well, he writ me word to get read v and cu in on. Well, I put on my . . . Sunday-go-to-nieetms, got out my new scarf, a present from Geordie, got on the train and here I am. Geordie met me at the depot with his horse. We was goin' 'round to see the sights this mornin' when Geordie and pa came 'round the corner. He had cumetl down on the next train. I tell yon he looked mad! Geordie whis pered to me tu look out but I was too sceart to look out or in. Geordie vou you know, is strong an' brave ; he jumietl in front of me an' turned his hack on pa and wanted me tu walk "round the corner. Pa, he Fights us an' begun to screech like a young owl. Ck-or- die had left his horse Huddled round the corner, so he tuk me up and ruuned an' pitched me on the horse; he then jumped up an we wuz ofi like a sky rocket. Pa he runned, an he hollered, but Geordie he wouldn't stop, so pa he wiped out his pistol an fired. But Geordie he kept on. Pa he kept hollerin' and firin but pshaw ! we wuz rone. I feels sorrv fur poor pa he wuz so awfullv cut tin 'bout it. lint I couldn't leave Geordie, could 1 Geordie V' Here there was a loud report, the I!.7X)0 blew his bugle, picked up his hat, thanked the couple in the Bazoo's usual gracious manner and departed, overflowing with visions of blissful wedded life. In fact, he felt as though he had a brick in his hat. A Kind Word of Advice. If you feel yourself growing weak, your strength failing, the natural function of the body becoming impaired, take warn ing in time; your system ueeds iron, which, when combined with proper vege table extracts, produces a tonic of rare medicinal effect. .Such a remedy is Brown's Iron Bitters. Buy it off your druggist and do not be persuaded to take a substi tute, for this is the only remeely which gives permanent strength. It contains no alcohol, nor does it blacken the teeth. It receives the universal endorsement of clergymen, physicians, druggists, and all who have used it. $1500 per year can be easily made at home working lor E. G. Hideout & Co , 10 Barclay street, New York. Send for their catalogue and full particulars. 11-iwly Fresh blue grass seed for sale. A. Y. Houston. ll-29wtf. Hountonia, Mo. . i . ; l. - ! So Mr. Van Wagner Thinks, And So Ee Said Last Night. Nearly everybody was at the Congrega tional church last night, and the edifice was crowded to repletion, about live hun dred people succeeding in stuliing them selves into the building. It is sale to say that since Mr. Van Wagner has lecn preaching srmon, he never so thoroughly imbued himself with what he had to say i t- i - t . . i . i . i... as. lie tint on ias.1 n:giu louciung uie crime j of the national criminal, ami the lessons to be drawn from his life. He could l hardly have had a better subject for illus !t rat ion than that of last night, which j bristle all over with moral lessons. The ; usual number of young men were there, i the voung lawver, doctor, merchant, clerk. book-keeper, machinUu railroad man, printer, barkeeper; xnd the marked atten tions paid by all to the pn aeh r was a noticeable feature of the occasion. ! The latter portion of the twenty-tits! ' verse of the fourteenth chapter of St Mark was selected as the text : t iood were it lor that man if iie had never been born !' This j was the sentence pronounced by Christ on .ludas Iscariot, only a few hour.-, before i Jesus was vi ueilied upon the cros", and 'only a feu hour- before Judas eoinmitt'-d suicide. "Good were it for that man if he had never bten born." Good wire it for Guiicau if he had never been born, (iood j were it for him if he had died in infancy Hut he lived, until he stuaked upon the : president of the nation with hi revolver j cocked, and fired, and the best and truest in the land leil. j The eloquent preacher went on to draw many tcssousan i warnings uoiii uie me oi j the assassin The lesson oi the importance j of home training was most ably and x-ug-i gestively ill Uslr iled. (iuileasi had never . had a home. He had been allowed by hi j parents unrestrained liberty, had not ic . ceived the tender care and attention which parents, usually hestow upon their children j lie had been allowed to go on in an unre j strained course until lie v.ia a compound of every litthn--, nitannis;, swindling, j fraud and petty thuvciy, ail of I which euliiiiiiatid in his kilLug (iaricbl. t The les-oii of the cultivation of nnir.il h i bit- was also drawn Iroin the career of jGMiie iu, h's utitr ding;.rd of i v'iy ' moral obligation from childhood up to the 1 time ol the commission of his crime, a fraud and a cheat, and lin a lly a imtr ; derer. The danger of an overweaning egotism, vanity ami conceit formed a solemn warn ing to the class of men who legiii life with ; the idea that there are J'o aiuari men but themselves. The preacher believed in every man having a certain degree of self respect. If a man does not respect him . sell nobody will respect him. He inu-t , light his way, must take his chances, with I courage ami determination. Hut f all , men whom the world had seen, Guitcau was the weirst for egotism, vanity and con- ceit. He was the great ami emlv liuiirau. If Webster should enter the court at j Washington, Gutt-an would regard him as ! a mere pigmy ceuupared to him. Wlkat is j Grant compared with Guite-au ? Wh;i is Arthur to him? What is Coitkling to him ? ! Heboid the great Guiteau, a hero, and a t patriot whose fame is to sound in history lor ages! lhe country ana the world I have expressed their detestation of ( his act, and their condemnation of ! the manner of his trial. But it was ptihaji? just to Judge Cox to say he was an able jiielge and had done what in his judgment was, best to do Guiteau j had been given free rein in order that his j meanness, his malignity, his wickedness 4 and vanity miuht be apparent to the. jury. Webster was put torth as an illustration of what a man with real abilities, but with modesty and industry, might accom plish, aud was. sharply contrasted with Guiteau. one who through inordinate self conceit, vanity and egotism was bound to become notorious, make his name sound through the world,' even if he had to mur der to do it. The laughing stocK a man makes of himself by indulging a superla tive degree of vanity and self-conceit, was aptly illustrated by Mr. Van Wagner, who said that we had another man now who was almost as bad as Guiteau, and who ought to have a pair of asses' ears put upon him, anil that was Oscar Wilde. A jackass ought to be killed and his ears taken from him and put upon Wilde, who would probably go back home in course of time, leaving thousands of fools behind him. The evils of an unrstraincd ambition next received the attentions of the preacher It had made bloody the fields of France, had made Napoleon, aud had made a Gui teau. All'llie ills llowing from the sin of too strong an ambition were fully illustra ted and enlarged upon, and it was shown that the only way in which to reach per manent success in this life was by right courses, and that, sooner or later a man passes for what he is worth in this world. Mr. Van Wagner declared that Guiteau must die for his crime, that he must go, and his guilty soul swung off into eternity. He said that if the jury dared to acquit him, their names would descend with in famy to those who eome after us, and would lw black in ages to come. t He drew a mental picture of ten 1 scenes in the life of Garfield, tracing the I career of the great man from birth to bov- hood, thence to youth and young manhood ami finally to the death IhmI scene. Then he drew the ideal semblanee of a pcaffold, surrounded hy the. people of the j country, the gallows made of good lim I her the rojni new ami the knot lied h rmly. Guiteau mounts the scallohl, and at a signal, tht trap is sprung, aud the inn iderer ol Garfield drops through the j trap, lhen a nameless grave, ana all is over. Much of this able, sermon has been sacrificed to want of space, and only a skeleton of it has been given here. The choir, as usual, discoursed sweet sacred music, the effect of which was much strengthened by the cornet accompainment of Mr. Fred. VanCamp, whose solo "Sweet By and By," was finely rendered. Cardinal Points to Remember? That Acker's Blood Elixir is a specific remedy for neuralgia, rheumatism, malar ious and other fevers, scrofulous tendencies and all forms of blood poisoning. It puri fies the system, rouses - and develops the nervous energies, enriches the blood, pro motes apietite, dispels languor, aud re stores the body to robust health. Sold bv i Bard & Miller. Sunday Morning Sermon by Rev. Mr. Duncan at the Christian Church. A large and appreciative audience greet ei Jxev. Air joiueau yesiereiay morning ai the Christian church. The subject of the ilise'ourse was "The Won!." The reverend gentleman preface his remarks by reading portion '"d the fourth chapter of Paul's epislie io i imoioy ami oy uiaKiiig sionr to the subject of his moil of last Sabbath: pointing the close connection the two bore te .1 . - ! .1... 1 I... I Ml.. illu ser- Ollt each ' He claimed that the -'Word" provi.ied for all the teachings ol Christianity ami the nectary anstruction for tr.tining in right- e-etiisinss. (ImI"s uiiuistera lioiihl be com pletely and thoroughly furnished for their work They are then charged what to preach. This charge is delivered to every man in the pulpit in this city. It is the charge to every young man entering upon the ininistrv. Kr eah dl-emirse the man i ti be hebi re-pon-ible belorehis maker. 1 He ii ti appe.'ar be-fore the Hivine Master j ami render his account In thi-charge, tin. j word is meant, the scriptures, the inspired work ol( toil care not told ti prewch jew-j ,sh tra.litions nor the sayings ol wise men, mr science. n-.thmg sensational, but the nm Hiarsc -preach the .,nl. Ii.; m l'''; .sgreatobi,.eti-. to make christi tns and h. can only ,. this ny preach u;g the word. must .Iraw the p.eer , . , V i i "."' llsheuld be preached on all m-cans, not only on Sunday., but on state .lavs. 1 1-coM.man, is to apply ones self , ,1,- genllv. rreach when convenient ami when inconvenient; preach puniic.v am pn- v:tielv. Winn a man is talking te an- oilier on .-alvat?n he is preaching the word of bui .Man must not stop with srn.pi v pr, acn.ng uu h..i.i on u,e i.ort day. 1 his cnarge. pr a.h the on . shou d be-carried out to the Iettr. It .houbl be preached so as te re-pmve the people; to e'orrect them. The word re-pree means repr.e means t coulute me'ii so as to convice-i ie tn. ro . i ... 1 1 e'li so as to omvice-t le tn. Si prcseiu uie worn io.ii in. u e nu see tiny are sinners. 1 n..t pre a. h smooth. glossy things ; nor tvj.nt is simply p.otsing to the . ar or taucy. out pr.-acn the uord straight lonvard ,n it- D.u. e unking . hvery pnaclur shi uld stand up and tell nu n their laults-. It is not mcessarv to t. ... t ..I. ? ... .1. . . loui uiiig lunigs who a leiiner is r.oi keen him from his dutv. no matter who the man mav be. The preacher fails in imt preaching ami i exhorting with suiltcient lorlvearance nor does he labor mstruc - lively enough It i deplorable that even members of the church will not endure sound te'achimr When in thh ion ii sun :,em. xei r.ouK., u;e m m ine ,Wxt: Iioarder Jim tried to talk sweet plain woi.lol ..Hi .ieamirhly aidtkyitulhe ch.llIlht.rm:li,, ,mt u.oulj no, theuay to pr. ael, the wortl. it we woul. : lhe bre;M, h,Uer f Umw be truer to (.;d and truer toour duty. (,od , uw fM the Uer , , tu. . ' , 5 would oexv.th us anduelpns on o vie- , ;kl. UtfV. iIq Jn J VnnvvIv:ut; uW : I teery. A preacher ought io teel that he m t (.:irc for cook nor maid no more. I has to account to (omI-Ii. should then Vitluvii lhi. locksmith. IK all of preach the truth and leave the con- ft S1I(,VI tukt.s lhe roosk.r ts thev have the itch the car thev then preached as a dream but suould be pre sented plainly and faithfully. How Country Pumpkins Stole a March on the Reporters. Something new in the way of a wed- dinir occurred recentlv al Cincinnati, 1 Ohio, a runaway couple from the countrv i V.t i i . u .. t..i: called at the house ol Lev. Henry 1 uck- ley, pastor ot the Christ Methodist hpis- copalvhureh to be married. lurch to be married. lie was ah- . . . .,. sent on business at the Uazette ottice. ami .i i .!:...., i.i k:i... i... ,!r,sr,VB,V". . ,uu i.;.. -. ft r i .i. . ...i i HIS Wlie. luey luuiiii uie luiiuaitri. bhu he had the editorial library opened and uiiirriuu iiieiii iieieiic uie; luuui.-t aiv it- re porters in the other rooms had any suspi cion of what was going on. They left at once for their hotel, after binding the miuister to secrecy as to their names, the groom leaving a handsome sum to furnish refreshments for the Gazette force, to atone for the way in which he had stolen a march in depriving them of an unique item. Forimpaired digestion, and fordebility from any cause, I know of nothing equal to Fellows" Compound Hypophospliites. Its direct effect in strengthening the nervous system renders it suitable for the majority of diseases. Weakness of the Joints and Muscles, Impurity of the Ilood,and Inward Wastings may be cure byj Fellows' Hypo phosphites. Wm. S. IIovb,.M. DPittsfield, Me Flairs For Poor "Lo I" The Pleasant Hill Sabbath school of the. First Presbyterian church, has inaugurated a very unique move, which, if followed by the other Sabbath schools in the country, will have a tendency to making the chil dren of the Alaskan ice-fields a very happy M.ople indeed, and will clothe the barren wastes in eternal Fourth-of-July grandeur. Some one will probably also supply the frolicsome firecracker and toy pistol, and thus give a further start to the civilization loom which just now seems to prevail in that country The Pleasant Hill Review reports that instead of having a Christmas tree, the memlers and children of the church contributed money sufficient to buy the, material and make a- Hag 14 feet long and in proportionate width, to send to the Presbyterian mission in Alaska. The flag is to be floated at the mission for the purpose of notifying the Indians when Sunday comes, seeing which they repair to the place when the ringing of the bell notifies them for the hour of services. If it were not for either the flag or bell, they would be dropping in on all days of the week and hours on Sunday. The Hag was forwarded last week to Rev. Walter R. Styles, at Hoonyah Alaska. Important to Know? That in all throat, chest and lung troub lescolds, whooping-coughs, asthma, con sumption, etc even a single dose of Dr. Acker's English Remedy will relieve the worst symptoms of distress ; it is pleasant to take may be given to theyonngest child and guarantees cure in every case. Trial bottles only 10 cents. Regular sizes 50 eta. and $1. For sale by Bard & Miller. thev have the itch m ine car-ui. y then ; c,mIes al n lhe hu.AnU.r whh lJie ,m. will turn aside fre.m the truth and thirst wind(w ,Ml ,ie with tht. the v win.l..u lor fable, lhe we.nl Miouhl not be f ; . , . - , . How a Private Boarding House Was Declared in a State of Siege by the 1 RnQ Tflp"PQ The Destroying Angels of Hash Fall in Love With the Chambermaid and the Cook. j They Receive the Grand Bounce, and are Now in j a-u a 4-t Hashery. How the Bazoo's Boarding House Items are Appreciated by the Consumers of Vittels." M. K. iS:T Sand Horsr- 1 w.- t ... v Vyu .Ki'Ai.i.v, Jan. v. j j 1X.ar I-Vieml : As vou have beena! friend, I p:Uh.iriMer Slll, ."i wlvlvr Ui : 1 i lloSirik.rs t , -,,,. ,() fnm .jK. I tercl vou have shev n in the unforn.nate. j wo , jdU.,, lo ,,al oul hnwU , a WtU ( al o Vf) . ,uvu( f fi. t-oi.ipanioii. W"li- rr t-ast upon my the c.ld uori.l, orphans. with,ut a momem'.- w.iri ,JV rnie! fw.K. W0Uj4M, h;l1 . n Victors. To iym yn tn .t K , .... - ., tU:tl vol ,.;tnnul .,1V ni(fvth:!n . r . . . i. i'""ti m iiiiiiv. ailUl Si ll, till till" a phvsieian prescribe for a di-a-e without first kmTing how the patient feels. S here it ges: , Firt UV MluW uit, t i n 0m.vmj muttu.f uw 1V taking wr ciiok t the h'epra. This rile! Tem. the boarder frm t )hio. wbe in turn ,.,.,.. :. tir;1(.,;,v, i.:,,.-,..,, " I -" ..V. spi ft the pots and pans, pan his t e nails , i,v. ,u, :ttll! uv.-i,, l,u ivl.ul-v n-,tl, aJ (iVrn,,t. (tf u;tlt. :im tlwn ,JlH ; jn a mH u.u.k of htf uo1.lujx ln ,lrv , st llwriillllS ui:llWr ult f him.-eh. and tf b1fe , thh , j tht. MlliliS of lhi. ' ... ... - . ... i .,. , . h T r.v..n.r, l,i,.,.lf lw. pints, struck, dances a Scotch red, uses bad ; cv.wkxUi. pi:tsU.rilip. ; Anollle.r takes possessi ! lM nyMV J havv . grammar and snores su liicieiitlv hant to possession of the cook en- a room and bed all fi. liimcnl? omIo u'Ttli tin. I'wlti i; - . tin. .: V ... - , j time in short, he is in tall clover, and ex- in turn, to retaliate on the cook anil her , lover, sits up with the chambermaid to such an extent that she becomes sick, and he is likely to pay a doctor bill for his folly. The consequence of all these love-makings of the boarders to the chamlx'rmaid and cook, and other ladies of the house, is 1. . r , , , , . tramps a field knee deep in the mud everv . S . , . - f. , . r rfmsts (m :1 . P . r. f ' v , , " : i " 1 in his shou with lemale cats tor his corn- . : . 4 I paniona The boarder with the bav window . . . . - , tramps the town to find a place to ,1 . iu i .u, fill his griping stomach ; but loh 1 the poor , j , - ,i . ..it uoaruer, nc io lu eju piueej iiiusl ui uii. After having inquired at various places and received the answer that no more boarders were wanted, that they had no room for him, and so on, and was about to give it up and return to the sand houje, but his growing hunger compelled him to make one more effort at a genteel looking house. The landlord answered the call, accompanied by the cook, who sur veyed the applicant from head to fort. A consultation was held, and the conference appeared to be favorable. The cook in formed the lan.llord that the wash boiler would be sufficiently large and that only a few extra pauH would be required to pre pare sufficient food for the new boarder, who stood all the while trembling, his empty stomach heaving like a collapsed balloon, inflated at times by a gust of wind, and muttered a silent prayer. He was about to step in the parlor, when oh! horribly to relate, out comes the chamber maid, clasp her hand over her head, yells to the landlord : "Don't take him : he is the boarder with the bay window who bankrupted bachelor's roost." The hash fiend utters a feeble cry, his bay window collapses, he faints and is carried by the landlord out into the back alley, where he is found on a manure pile by fellow lodgers in the sand house, who so far have kindly left life in him to tell this tale of tacts. Moral Young rooster, don't go in the kitchen; don't spark the cook or maid. You old rooster who have liens anil Jots of chickens at home, don't take your land lady to the opera, or spark the chamber- matu. Anu you, lantuauies, engrail ii on your brooms, and paint it on your kitchen walls: No partiality to your boarders, and let the sudden demise of Bachelor's Roost be a warning to you all. And you, Mr. Editor, use your wit and fnflueuce to keep the stout hash eater out of jail and from collapsing. His x Mark. A New Bra. The true secret of happiness is perfect health, which enables the individual to en joy life, and nttain competency and con tentment. The martyr to dyspepsia, in continual misery, is without hope in the pursuit of business or pleasure, and real izes that existence yields only failure. But -a new era has come, and good health is assured, with positive relief from the ills of digestion and torpid liver, by the use of Dr. Acker's Dyspepsia Tablets. They are very nice, try them. Only 25 and 50 cents, inhandsome boxes. For sale by Bard & Miller. comes home moon- POOR MYRTLE LEE. A Confiding Girl's Ruin and Degradation. A Hopeless, Broken Invalid Upon a Bed of Slow Death. Riot, Revelry and Mirth Sur rounded the Dying Out cast, Whose- Lips, Once More as of Yore Learned to Move in Prayer. A Weary Heart Finds Beneath the Sod. Peace St. Joseph U'-niM. Man may sin, and with a hundi wipt the sin away, but to woman the inherit auee of sin is lears and living death. Tiie asp of eh ceit am! d spair which each man seekste shelter his ov.n family from, many do tint hesilale lo implant in the bosom of his neighbor's hoiisehnM. The hoy must iv his wihl oats before he is deemed a uran, but the girl who garners the crop although none lhe more guilty, is en detnneel an ouieit. One? becomes the ieh 1 of society; the other the plaything of ai hour ter those uhoe brutal instincts make them more d'graeletl in the sight ol heaven than she is rendered by reason of her me ssiiie. At the Twin Cottage yesterday a poor .Magdalen die-ei. Death to her was indeed a welceetne messenger. Horn near Lexing ton. .Missouri, in I.Sol, the first seuu-ienye-ars of the life of Katie Taytr pas-e;l away amiei pleasant turrounding and happy un mrirs Her parents weie in comfortable if not atiluent circumstance her wishes and her whims were fiel gratitied. and life was as bright and joy ..lis and happy to her as it is to the bm tin:! and spiightly daughters who to-i:iv re joiee in the light and warmth of your hearts ami hius. She was beautiful. lueaU-d. relineel, and in just that meas ure she wa- pt tied, courleel, praised and spoiled. Sixteen vais came ami went over her head like o many golden sun beams, ami then the tempter eame The young man with the wild oats to sow en Ured the home, with the light of heaven in his ees that never Jppears to woman but once, and a lie on his lips that wa dressed with the swee. tness of truth. Ther. followed the blight, the sorrow, the gloom and darkness of despair, and Katie Taylor went out from her home, and the frail bark of life. Myrtle Lev. was launched up on the world of s'hi, the plaything of the vile, the gibe of tiod's degraded, and the jst of the world's poor fools. In that community, however, as in most others, the sorrow and despair attached te but one. The liar who had perjured hit soul to work a confiding girl's ruin the thief who had robbed a woman of her honor, a home of its sunshine, and parents of a child the shuieierer, who had cast the stigma of disgrace upon an honest name the murderer who had taken the honorable life away fre m a trusting, con liding maiden - the coward, who had tri umphed over the weak he should have protected, and the sycophant, who sought, lying excuses for a crime in which he se cretly rejoiced, raising his head from amid the ruin he had wrought ; fathers received him at their boards, mothers welcomed him to their homes, daughters sought his companionship ; he was such a nice, darling young fellow, who had been imposed upon by a. designing, degraded creature, and at the worst had only sown his wild oats. That man from out of one of the neighboring folds took unto himself a wife, and when the life of his victim, poor Myrtle Leo? went out, he sat in his home surrounded by every comfort; on his knee a lisping boy, and on either hand a daughter, each, just turning into her teens. Does not his conscience smite him as he reads these lines? As his eyes rest upon the fair young forms near him does he not instinctively count the mouths until they, too, shall reach years of maturity and dread the coming" of the youth, the nice young man, with a crop of wild oats to sow? Myrtle Lee was an outcast. Her step? no longer lead her in the ways of the pure, but among the wicked of both sexes for years she reigned a queen. Beautiful ol face and form, educated and refined, she was at once the altar at which weak men worshiped and the rock on which they went to ruin. Man's inhumanity had crushed the heart out of her, and all that was honest, trusting and confiding lav buried in the shades where her girl life had been wrecked; henceforth she lived only to blight aud to destroy. Did men plead, mothers weep and wives niourn4? She had drank the cup of life to its most bitter dregs why should not others taste thereof, also? The man first and then all the world had wrongd her. Should she not be revenged upon the world ? Poor fool. The giddly life spun out at too great a speed cracked under the stress, and the queen of the demi monde became a helpless, broken invalid, and for months lay upon a bed of slow death within sound of riot, revelry and mirth. where sin held high carnival, but in which she no longer had part or interest. Then was the time for memory and for tears, and out of all came the light and the hope of a better life, while the lips once more as of yore learned to move in prayer, and the wasted, bony fingers sought the pages of the Book "of Kternal Life and therein found that rest and hope that makes peace eternal. Myrtle Lee is dead. The wild oats of one generation have been sown. Her por tion rests in the casket now rusting in the grave. She might have been to-day a happy wife and mother had society al ways meted out the same punishment to the" tempter it does to the tempted. His portion is still his conscience, and the shadow of the avenging Nemesis he must ever dread will cross his threshold and sear his heart as he has seared the hearts ond blackened the lives of others. Who can tell which has the greater punishment? Rheumatism, neuralgia, hysteria, fe male weakness, etc., promptly cured with Brown's Iron Bitters.