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THE SEDALIA TOKLT BAZOO, TIJESDA Y, DECEMBER 25, 1883. 3 Says the Missouri Post, of Concor dia: We have just received from he irrepressible and energetic Bazoo man, J. West Goodwin, of Sedalia, the pro ceedings of" the seventeenth annual session of the Missouri Pres3 Associa tion, held at Carthage, May 8th and 9tb, 1883. As an illustration of the perfection to which the "art preserva tive" has attained, it merits the high est praise, and. reflects the most un bounded credit on Mr. Goodwin and the Bazoo. "We are glad to note this evidence of his ability. His name is a household word all over the state : his success has been achieved by earn est, well directed effort and he de serves the high position he holds among new-paper men. The Clinton Advocate remarks : "We are in receipt of a copy of the proceedings of the seventeenth annual session of the Missouri Press associa tisn, held at Carthage last May. With its addresses and essays it forms quite an interesting literary work, one every way worthy of preservation Typographically it is really hand some and does great credit to the office from lvhich it originated, and demonstrates fully the ability of J West Goodwin to do work in a trulv BOONVILLE BUDGET- Wedding Bells Bridal Trip to Sedalia Death of an Es teemed Lady. artistic manner. The Joplin Daily Herald says: "The proceedings of the seventeenth annual meeting of the Missouri Press association, held at Carthage last May have been published in pamphlet form. The work is fiom the office of the Se dalia Bazo, and is something of which theiHiembers of the fraternity may well feel proud. The title page is a beauty, and shows tha the Bazoo establishment, is possessed of skilled artizans of artistic taste. HICKMAN'S RUSE. Tne Heavy Weight Alderman of the Third Ward Quietly Mar ries Wednesday Night. For sometime the intimate friends of Al derman J. B. Hickman were aware of the fact that he intended to lend a fair partner to the hyraenial altar, but the exact time had been kept a secret. On last Wednes day evening the portly statesman slipped down to the recorder's office and procured his license, which by a collusion with the officials was kept from the public. About 9 o'clock of the same evening In was united in marriage with Miss M E. Cunningham, of East Sedalia, at the resi dence of Mrs. E. T, Brown, corner of Brow and Fifth streets, the Rev. J. M. Plannett officiating. Immediately af'er the ceremony the couple went to the cosy residence of the groom, on Fifth between Brown and Sum mit streets. The groom is too well known to need any particular mention. He is an East Sedalia merchant, and is now serving his second term as alderman of the Third ward. The bride is a young lady of about twenty summers, petite, charming and very accomplished. The couple will hold an infair for the benefit of their friends, the date of which has not yet been set. Alderman Hickman and his bride havt t'ie best and heartiest wishes of the Bazoo f r a bright and happy future, a merry Christmas and a glad and happy New Year. The Third ward alderman at last Has yielded to his fate, And many friends vebb joy to him The champion heavy weight. Heaven Mess him and his bonny bride, He's von a charming mate. And she has won a man to trust The council': ieavy weight. With rew-born pride the alderman W 11 walk bis daily rounds : Iticht jauntily will he step oft" With his three hundred pound?. Way blessings thick on Iiickman fall, His happiness b great ; Mav wedlock add to, not t'ecrease, Ifis famous lighting weight. H. Fehr Is manufacturing wagons at Geo. Scheer's old stand on St. Louis street, and as on hand several which Mr. Scheer ironed. Mr. Fehr has a first-class repair shop for bug gies, wagons, &c. and will sell his wagons at low prices and warrant them as good as anv ever made or sold in the city. i2-16-w6m. Special to the Bazoo. Boonville, Mo., Dec. 18, 1883. This evening, Dx, 19, at the residence of Miss Sadie Thomas, sister of the hririe, Mr. Joseph Peehly, of New Franklin, was married to Miss Sue Thomas, of Boonville. The ceremony was performed at 4 o'clock by Kev. R. S. Hunter, in the presence of t select concourse of friends and relatives of the high contracting parties. The presents were numerous and elegant. Immediately after the ceremony the bride and groom took the train for Sedalia, accompanied by Messrs. Sara Quinley. Dode Jackson, Win. Mitchell, Mi&s Sadie Thomas and a number of others. The happy couple will spend the holidays abroad, visiting friends md relatives, after which they will return to New Franklin and settle down to domestic life. The groom is one of the best known and most energetic young merchants of this section, and the bride among the fairest of Boou vi lie's daughters, and their many friends here extend to them heartiest good wishes and congratulations. Mrs. Mary A. Lionberger, of this city, died at the residence of Frank E. Lionberg er in Boonville at six o'clock this morning, aged seventy-five years. She leaves a large family, one of her sons being John R. Lion berper, a prominet business man of St. Louis. She was a native of Fahquer coun ty, Virginia, and came to Mi souri in 1S3G. Her husband, a very prominent citizen of this state, died a number of years ago. She was a good woman and for many years a consistent member of the Baptist church of this city. BARRICK'S BLAST. The Georgetown Postmaster Files an Answer to Constable Gray's Statement CHARMING." Marsh's Golden Balsam, the Great Lung Medicine, Gives Perfect Satisfaction. "We have great confidence in vour Gol- q.es Balsam. We have u-ed it in our fam ily several times, for coughs, colds, sore throat, etc., and found it a charmifg rem edy." Mrs. A. L. Harris, Katisas City, Missouri. "I have handled your Golden Balsam with success. It gives perfect satisfaction to mv customers." , U. T. VanCleave, druggist, Stanberry, Mo. "1 have smlered with an aftVction of the lungs for ne.irlv two ears. 1 have used all the popular and well known remedies but nothing has benthtted me so much as Bal?am, which I am C. Hits, Wyandotte, Marsh's Golden now using." J. Kans. Marsh's Golden Balsam for the Throat and Lumzs and Marsh's Golden Blood and Liver Tonic, are for sale at Thos. J. h leicher's Gem drug store, fcedaha. Large bottles 50 cents size 10 cents. and SI. Trial BOONVILLE BUZZ. A Marriacre in Hierh Life Nar row Escape of a Min ister's Wife. Jewelry, At cost for cash. Watches, At cost for cash. Clocks, At cost for caEh. Silverware. At cost for cash. John S. Landes, who has been in the jewelry business in Sedalia for fifteen years, is selling out at cost. Bazoo build ing, 209 Ohio street. ll-20wtf. Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Silverware, Jewelry, Watches, Clock. Silverware, Land for Sale. Four hundred acres nice, smooth prairie pastures, in the northwestern part of Ben ton county, Mo. ; ten miles southeast of Windsor and five miles northwest of Lin coln ; fenced with three wires, new, in two tracts of 160 acres each, and one of eighty 'acres. Ponds with plenty of water on two larger tracts. Price from $16.50 up. Terms : One-third cash ; balance in annual install ments up to five years, with interest. Ad dress Allen & Lindsay, Agents, Windsor, Mo. J. H. Kissel, W&rrensburg, Mo. Correspo jdence of the Bazoo. Boonville, Mo.t Dec. 17. A marriage in which there was something of a romance was consummated this morn ing at the City hotel, in Boonville. The contracting parties were Mr. J. Boss Ap pler, senior member of the furnishing goods house of Appier & Hodge. St. Louis, and Mrs Sallie Kerrel, widow of the late X. L. Fen el, of Boonville. At 10 o'clock this morning the marriage ceremony that made die two man and wife was performed in the spacious parlor of the City hotel, Rev. R. S. Hunter, of the M. E. church south, of this city, officaling. The parlor was darkened and handsomely decorated with flowers, and the bridal couple was pre ceded by Master Henry Ferrel, sou of the bride, bearing floral emblems. The mar riage wps a very quiet aflur, only the fol lowing intimate friends of the bride being present: Mesdames R, S. Huuter, James AJ. Nelson, nee Spahr, Marvis Williams, Lou V. Stephens, H. M. Clark, Mary Mc Pherson and C. H. Green ; Misses Mamie Spahr, Linna Howard, Fannie Thorn nson, Birdie Brein, Laura Aehle, Amanda Kelly and Miss Wsiddell of Rjchpon.; W. M. Williiims, Will Spahr. Lon V. Stephens. Charles Glascock, Price Boone, Harry Wil son and George W. Ferrel. Mr. and Mrs. Appier left immediately after the ceremony for Hannibal, where they will spend sever tl lays, and from whence they will go to St Louis, where a reception will be tender d them by Mr. John F. Appier, brother of the groom. They will make their home in St. Louis. Mrs. S illie Ferrel is in an esteemed and highlv respee'ed lady of Boonville, the citizens of which congratulate heron her happy union, yet rt-gret to lose her from the Vine Clad. Mr. Appier is well and favorably known to many of our citizens. He was a "chum" and companion oi Mr. X. L Ferrel in his earlier days, the two having worked to gether at the saddler's bench in the same shop. Tiie Kazoo extends good wishes and congratulations, Lenity and sincere. A HARROW ESCArE. Mrs. Machett, wife of Rev. Alexander Machett, pastor of the Baptist church of this city, came near meeting with a fatal or serious accident last night; as she left the church after the evening service?, her foot slipped on a piece of ice and she was thrown to the pavement down the steps that lead to the church. Fortunately the injuries she received by the fall were not dangerous though painful. She was moved by kind and loving hands to the church and medi cal aid summoned. The principal wound received was a cut over the left eye. The many friends of this gcod woman will be glad to hear that she is rapidly recovering. "My hands were covered with little dry scabs. They have disappeared and Fm better than I have been for 20 years, from using Dr. Benson's Skin Cure," A. M. Noble, Selma O., July, 3, '82. Money to Loan On farms and city property at low rates of interest. Call and see ub. Skeed & Porter. 12-12dtw-lm, cor. of Main and Ohio St's. j Georgetown. Mo., Dec. 15. ! Editor Bazoo :-1 have no desire for ! newspaper notoriety, but mv name having it . .. i .? "i - .i- i neen in prim several times uuring me last i two months, and there being such a lengthy ' item in the Bazoo concerning me and my actions that "patience has ceased to be a virtue." Mr Grav's statement that a lare num ber of Georgetown citizens have signed a petition requesting a change in postmas ters is a sweeping assertion to say the least of it, when such signers are composed of a few of tke white citizens of Georgetown, together with a much larger number of her colored population, and in addition to these several w o are not in anyways in the matter, as they do not now nor have they at auy previous time since I have been here gotten their mail at Georgetown. Constable Gray should have told the re porter of the efforts that were made to ob tain the signatures of certain Sedalia citi zens who were recently Georpetownites The respectable and intelligent men of and near Georgetown express themselves satisfied with their present postmaster and opposed to any change in postmasters or to the removal of the postofhee to a piivale house, as the petitioners request. They complain not of the lack of courtesy extended to them, or of any del y in their mails whether they pur chase goods of me or ehe where. Mr. Gray buys no goods of me. I would have b-'en "glad had he stated in what man ner or when the inattention to officials du ties occurred Am surprised that he did not say 1 kicked a lady ou of the postoffice. This female, for she is not worthy the name of woman, Mat Morton, colored, has served her term in jail for stealing, has kept a bawdy house; in fact, is a prostitute of the most degraded type. When ordered out of my store she did not go, and so was knocked out with one blow of my fist, for having sworn a lie against me in court. Does any man censure me for getting rid of a jtil bird or a prostitute? According to -Mr. Gray's statement, the crowd who rocked 2soah Brasley, a late merchant of Georgetown, was made up and urgal on by myself. On the 0th day of Ocoher, during the rocking season, dilVer ent parties brought this same report to ml, aud thit nigSit, while the rocks were doing thir work, I confronted Mr. Gray and re ieuled what 1 had heard. He deui d sav ing it; saiti he thought so. 1 ttien in formed him that I had had nothing what ever to do with the attacking iarty,for I had bsren attending to my own business and not meddling with my neighbors' affairs, as Mr. Gray is in the habit of doing. When Mr Gray made the above stale nients to the reporter he knew that h grossly misrepresented matters. C. W. Bakkick. FLASHES. The Edinburg dynamite cases were given to the jury last eveniLg. The German crown prince is still hob nobbing with the Italian grandies of Rome. Ransom Post, Ko. 131, Grand Army of the Republic, was organized in St. Louis yesterday. Major Henry Hopkin's remains will be buried with great ceremony at Leaven worth. Kansas, to-day. Thirteen inches of snow have laid an embargo ou all traffic and industry at Mont Carmel, Pennsylvania. The proposed selling of the "William antic Thread works is denied. It seems to have been an adveitisiug dodge. Over S,000 persons have been thrown out of employment by the closing of var ious iron works in Pennsylvania. The Union B ise Ball association will hold its next annval meeting at Baltimore, Md.. the third Tuesdav iu December, 1SS4 The billiard coutest between Garniei and Daily was won yesterday by Gamier. The score standing, Gamier, 3,000; Daily, 2,970. Chief Manipoer was hanged at Preto ria Tuesday. In the first attempt the rope broke, but the second hanging was a suc cess -The late Dudley C. Haskell, M. O. oi the Second Kansas congressional district, was bur ed at Lawrence, Kas., yesterday wUh great pomp. The trunk lines of the east are just now engagtd in a livrly rate war, affording wanderers a good opportunity to return home for the holidays. The Virginia legislature has annulled 'he election held by order of the governor to fill vacancies iu the -5th, 27th, 31st and 33rd senatorial districts. J. H Walworth, who killed bis father iu Xtw York seven years ago. was married yesterday to Miss Corrinne B. Brumlett. daughter of ex Governor Brntnlett, of Kentucky. Judge Van Brunt, of New York, de clines to punish G. P. McMsido for con tempt in not having furnished the books in the O'Conner elevated railway case, it ap pearing he had done all he could to pro cure them. Pablo Quinlana, mayor of New Lare do, Mexico, who was arrested by the mili tary for complicity in the Mexican train robbery, has been released on promise of the citizens to produce him in court for trial. His arrest caused intense excite ment and a public demonstration aud ap peal. "Rough on Rats." Clears out rats, mice, roaches, flies, ants, bed-bugs, skunks, chipmunks, gophers. 15c. Druggists. Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Silverware, Jewelry, At cost for cash. Watches, At cost for cash. Clocks, At cost for cash. Silverware, At cost for cash. John S. Landes, who has been in the jewelry business in Sedalia for fifteen years, is selling out at coat Bazoo building, 209 Ohio street. ll-20wtf. Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Silverware, CAPITAL CLATTER. All of the News, Personal and General, Current at the State Seat of Government. Special to the Bazoo. Jefferson Citv, Dec. 20. The secretary of state issued a certificate of incorporation to the Columbia Coal Min inc companv of Columbia. Capital stuck of the companv, $10,000, one half of which is paid up. The incorporators are Wm. A. Gooding, Alfred Bees, Abraham Victor and John E. Dodsoo. The governor has appo n ted as a member of the State Board of Agriculture vice Richard W. Gentry, deceased, the Hon. William Hall, representative of Vernon conntv. The Missouri Volksfreund has appeared in a handsome new dress. This is the only German paper published at the capital, and it is solidly democratic. Long may it wave ine ivussoun river nas uwinuieu to a diminutive stream at this point, and di rectly in front of the city, where several yea is ago the channel used to lie, there is a wide waste of sandbar and shoal water, the channel being way over next to the Calla way county side. The ferry boat is meet ing with considerable trouble in making i r . ner aaiiv trips, ana u lae running ice gets much heavier will be compelled to tie up. The public schools of this city will dis miss on the 21st for a two weeks7 vacation A scandal, involving the names of two former well known and highly respected residents of this city, was circulated on the streets yesterday. It was impossible to get at any of the ftcts, and your correspondent is anxiously awaiting developments. Governor Crittenden has returned from a trip :o St. Louis. Dr. C. A. Thompson made a business trip to St. Louis yesterday. Mrs Dr. C. R. Uglesby, wife of the phy sician at the penitentiary, is seriously ill. Hon. John M. Wood, of Clarke county, speaker pro tern, of the house, last winter j is in the city attending to court business. Miss Hattie McFadden has returned from an extended visit to relations in Mon treal, Canada. The entertainment that was to h-ive been given by the Bound Table club on the t veiling of the 21st, has b'en postponed. Judge J.W. Heury, of th supreme court, has returned from a trip to St. Loi.i-. Miss Maggie Davison returned yesterday from St. Louis to stend the holidays at home. Cards are out announcing the imrria" on the 27th iust., of Mr. W S. Fnrueson to Miss Gracie Switt. Mr. Furgeson is one of our most prominent young business men, and is prt owner and publisher of the State Journal. Miss Swift is a daughter of Judge H. A Swift, md is one of Jelferson City's fairct Ldies. Articles of incorporation of the Kansas City Elevator Company were fild with the M?cretarv of state this morning Capital $:M,000,"aIl ptiid up. A. S. Peirce, R. A., Bel.?h and E. D. Fisher, incorporators. THE EMMA BOND CASE. The Testimony Elicited by the Defense is Not Very Startling. DRAFFEN DECLINES To be a Candidate for the Demo cratic Nomination for Governor. Special Correspondence of the Bazoo. Boonville, Dec. 20th. The Advertiser and Topic, to morrow, will contain the following letter from Mr. J. W. Drafien, of this city, in which he de clares he will not be a candidate for gover nor under any circumstances and, therere fore, the mention of his name in that cm nection is without his consent or approv.l and entirely against his wiihes. The letter explains itself: Boonville, Mo , Dec IS, 'S3. To the Editor Advertiser Dear Sir. I am daily approached bv friends and this question is propounded to me: "Are you a candidate for the office of Governor?" io this question I have al ways returned the same answer. I wish now to say public'y that I am not, nor will I under any circumstances consent to become a caudidate for that of fice. My friends must allow me to decide this question. And uow permit me to say lo you and others members of the nress who have spoktu in tl .ittering trms of myself, that I am uot unmindful of the compliment, that I thank them for it. 1 am obliged to yon one and all. In making the announcement that I am uot a candidate. I do not wish it to be un derstood that I am indifferent on the sub ject of politics, for I think it the duty of every voter, especially in a gov ernment like this, to manifrsi an in terest in the selection of its officers, for in theory we have a government where the people rule. That is, tl e people are i he misters and the officers are but their servan s. Whilst I only claim to he a pri vate in the democratic ranks, in f :ct as pire io nothing higher, 1 shall always W lotind contending for the success of demo crats, and when I ine the word democrat, 1 do not mean those who make the mot noie and luss. But I mean those who think democracv is r'ght and "practice what they preach," those are my ikind of democrats. Truly yours, J. W. Draffen. Why Continue the use of irritating powders, snuffs or liquids when Ely's Cream Balm, pleasant of application and a sure cure for Catarrh, and co'd in head, can be had. Fifty cents, at druggists or by mail. Not a liquid or snuff. From B. P. Liep3ner, A. M., Red Bink, N. J : I have bren troubled with Catarrh so badly for several years that it seriously affected lny voice, I tried Dr. Ts remedy without the slightest relief. One bottle of Ely's Cream Balm did the work. My voice is fully restored and my head feels better than for years. In regard to Ely's Cream Balm for Cetarrh, my answer is, I can recommend it as the best remedy I ever used. Dr. J. S. Vaughan, Dentist, Muskegon, Michigan. (Price 50 cents.) In one week Ely's Cream opened a passage in one nostril through which I had not breathed in three years, and subdued an inflammation in my head and throat, the result of Catarrh. Colonel O. M. Neilliay, Owego,N.Y. Sec adj. Hillsboro, III., Dec. 20. Sheriff Haines, of Tavlorville, was the first witness this morning. He testified he and Attornev Dretiuer had fitted the toe nail paring to Montgomery's toe at the jail. Montgom- erv was perlectlv willing to have it done The pariug was thicker than Montgomery's toe nail. It fitted at one corner, but the other side did not fit at all. The witness put Clements and Pettus in jail. He examiued Montgomery's clothing carefully. It appeared to have been worn three or four days. He saw no blood or other stains. He examined Clements' clothing the night of his arrest. The shirt was red and blue striped. The red stripes had run somewhai. He was not satisfied and ex amined them again the next day but found no stains on the shirt or underclothes. He also examined Pettus' clothes, neither undergarment hail the appearance of being wet acoss the hips. There were no stains on any of the garments All the clothes had evidently been worn several days. There was no communication between the prisoners that day. Cross-examined the witness said the pris oners were not put in a cell until noon. In the alternoon Clements and Pettus were ih' he cell while Montgomery wa3 out looking or a bond. The witness was not at the jail ait tne time nut Knew tne prisoners could not have been put together. He examined the clothing for his own s itisfaction This testimony offsets that of the convict Meyer, who said the defendants lad a consultation the morning they were jailed Thomas Hart testified he tried to put Mr. Diekerson up through the scuttle hole of the schcot house the morning of the out rage. The witness was six feet and two inches high aud weighed one hundred and thirty-five pounds. Mr. Harmmel who was also in the loft, lied a shawl arond Diekerson and lifted him above my head aud stood on a ch iir and held him up high as he could, but Dick erson didn't come within two feet of the ceiling Hammel pulled him up and I helped all I could by boosting Charley Musters, nine years old, who was iu the school with Emma Bond, and left just before she was assaulted, testified, "I was the only scholar in that afternoon. Miss Bond took dinner at fcd Montgomery's where she board .-d, and I ate my dinner in the school house yard, then went to the c al house and played there till Miss Bond cnue b.iek. 1 was not in the school house during the noon recess, I said my lessons after dinner, then I had a reces during which Miss Bond wnt to Pettus house. I slaved around the coal house and did not go a wav from there, I saw old John and young John Montgomery during recess go ing a ong the ro.d pst the school houst. John asked me whv I wasn't playing with the school children I said there wasn't any ; he said "Well wait and I will come back and I wiil wrestle with you.'' When Miss Bond came back we went in the school house. I told 'her there was a noise in the loft. I said I thought they was tramps. She, said u2io, it's rats." The scuttle hole was open all day. I saw mud that morning on the wail under the scuttle and sid to the teacher to look at that. She said nothing: Cross-examined the witness said : I laid ou the roof of the coal house kicking up my heels. I could not see the school house door. This witness was on the stand an hour and a half and made many statements which differed from tho e made on the pre limiuarv trial. JOTTINGS. Great is the Mystery of Godliness. Philadelphia, Dec. 20. A christian convention to torni an anti-secret society league, met to-day. A delegate prayed for the people to be delivered from a bondage greater than human slavery, and asked that the spirit of God might open the eyes and enlighten the minds of chnstiabs to the great danger of attending secret socie ties. Officers were chosen and address made hv Kev. J. P. Stoddard and President Blanch:rd, of Lincoln college, Illinois. Resolutions were adopted denouncing all secret societies and declaring that tbe Ma sonic lode fills our oSices secular and di vine, with its partizians and shipesour po litical teachings, corrupting morality subverting both christian religion and f'ee institutions. The resolutions also declare the Grand army of the Kepub'.ic dangerous unless free from secret organ z.uious. O'Donnell's Monument. Dublin, Djo 20. The friends of (TDon-m-11, who was hauged Monday for killing Carev, the infjrmer, propose to ertct a memorial there. It is reported Kerrigan, an informer, was shot during a disturbance in Coug. County f Mayo, to day. Kerrigan's testimouy in the Huddy fam ily murder case, in 1SS2, convicted thret men, who were hanged ; also in the in formtr Joyce murder trial, which resulted in the hanging of three men. For a long time he was protected by the government, owing to threats against his life. Among the expedients for his protection was the erection of an iron hut, impervious t ritle shots, in which he lived. Piles ! Piles I I Piles 1 1 I Sure cure for Blind, Bleeding and Itch ing Piles. One box has cured the worst cases of twentv years' standing. No one need suffer five minutes afier using "Wil liam's Indian Pile Ointment. It absorbs tumors, allays itching, acts as poultice, gives instant relief. Prepared only for Piles, itching of the private parts, nothing else. Hon. J. M. Coffenbory. of Cleveland, says : "I have used scores of Pile cures, and it affords me pleasure to say that I have never found anything which gives such immediate and permanent relief as Dr. William's Indian Pile Ointment." Sold bv druggists and mailed on receipt of price, $1. B. B. Hottetler, Sedalia, Mo. A clergyman of Allegan, Mich., says that there is to much profanity in the streets of that place that they are unsafe for children and unfit for ladies, The story of the suicide of a young man in an eastern city was briefly told by the following sentence : There was nothing in his pockets save a large number of pool tickets on horses which he had lost in recent races." On a steamer lately arrived from abroad during the prevailing high seas, a traveler exclaimed to his very stylish, but just then pale and distress ed looking daughter : What, Grace, you seasick ? Looking: around at the rest of the company and hugging the rails, she faltered out : Y-y-you don't s-s-suppose, papa, I'd be out of f-fash-ion, do you ? N. Y. Cummercial In Marysviile, Cal., the street cars are run to make money. You tender the conductor a fifty-cent piece or a standard dollar, and he gives you the change in tickets. If yuu protest he stops the car and waits till you get out, if it takes all summer. He dosn t offer to eject you, but pulls out a cigar, lights it, cocks himself on the dashboard, and proceeds to smoke, You have the choice ot either walking or being swindled. A young lady who thought her personal charms gave her the right to be disagreeable was present a fevr nights since at a partv, during which quarrls between bu3band and wife were discussed. "I think " said an unmarried elder son who was present, that the proper thing is for the husband to have it out at once, and hus avoid quarrels for the future. ?T would light a cigar in the carriage after the wedding breakfast and settle he smoking question forever. ' I would knock the cigar out of your mouth," interrupted the belle. "Do yuu know, I don't think you would be here! quietly remarked the elder son. for Horsford's Acid Phosphate, Alcoholism. Dr. C. S. ELLIS, Wabash, Ind., says ;I prescribed it for a man who had used intoxicants to excess for fifteen years, but during the last years has entirely ab stained. He thinks the cid Phosphate is of much benefit to him." Chicago With .Nary Cow. Herald. One of the oldest stories of tne A.r kan3aw traveler is that which repre sents hira as making a horseback trip from New Orleans to Little Kock. Stopping at an Arkansas farm house, the good woman of the house prepared a toddy for him, and told him that it was from a new barrel of whisky that had ju3t arrived. A week later be called at the same house and asked for a toddy. We haven't a drop, said the good woman, But when I was here only last week you had a whole barrel of whisky, said he. Yes, said she mournfully, but mister, you cant ex pect one barrel of whisky to last for ever in a family of seven children that hasn't got nary cow. Congressmen and Others Sworn Off. From the Washington Republican. The artist wht dispenses bibulous fluids at one of the up town hotels says that never t3ince he first stood behind a bar has busmes3 m his line been so dull He had fondly hoped that the conventing of Congress would help trade, but if anything it had grown worse. 'Why, saia he, you have no idea of how men who used to lake all the way from one to a dozen nips a day have sworn off completely, and we never see their faces at all any more. And tbey are sticking to it, too, with no sneaking in for a quiet cocktail." 'Who are these new additions to the temperance movement?" "All sorts of people, Senators, mem bers, merchants, clerks, and newspa per men. Why, would you believe it, even some of the 'Gunnels,' J udges, aud (Majahs' are off their liquor, and are giving their iuteriivi a series of surprise parties." "What will be the result if this goes on ?" "Ruin, sir. We'll all be on our up pers I tell you, if the Christmas holidavs don't make a lot of 'em fall through , we'll have to pass the Jan uary dividend." NEW YEAR CARDS The Largest Assortment Ever Brought to Sedalia. Call early and secure first ckaiee and get year cards before the svpplj is exMansted. J, WEST aOCDWIN, 209 and 211 OhieSt, j