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THE SEDALIA "WEEKLY BAZOO, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1884.
OAST IRON GRAVES. A St. Louis Undertaker Plays Game of Poker and Discusses Coffins. opeaKinir or corans, saia an un dertaker addressing a party of friends -with whom he chanced to be playing a game of poker m his back office, yesterday afternoon, for the cigars. "Speaking of coffins, I must say that the patent burglar proof burial cases is not creating a very profouud sen satiou in the Wesr. To day a coffin drummer called on me and almost talked me to death in trying to cou vince me that burglar proof graves were rapidly supplanting the common place graves of sione and clay. He even went so far in describing their advantages as to declare that they were fire-proof, meaning by his remarks, perhaps, that his patent graves, boxe3, or whatever you choose to call them, were capable of resisting the destruct ive elements of nature. Of course I had to laugh heartily at this state ment, as a fire-proof coffin was some thing new to me. Such luxuries might find a ready market in the vol canic regions of Mexico or in South America, where graves fall through gaps made by earthquakes, mt the seething fire that constitutes the bow els of the earth, but in this section they st-uck me as one of the novelties we can well dispense with. Besides, there is nothing to be made by invest ing in such a thing as a fire-proof grave, as tombs are never covered by insurance. 4The young man grew somewhat impatient when I laughed. With frown he exclaimed : I see very plain ly that you have construed what have said literally. I will not amend -i i my remarK as my ouriai case3 are really fire-proof. That does not make them any more salable, of course ; 1 A 7 A l t .1 duc it goe3 to snow tney are very durable and substantial, borne super stitious people who believe in literal fire beyond the grave would perhaps feel a little more secure if they thought they were to be buried in fire proof graves. Aside from this how ever, allow me to remark that the coffins or boxes are very valuable, as they defy body snatchers and keep out water and insects. "j?maity, nnaing 1 nad no notion of laying in a stock of iron graves the young man left me m disgust. ttT Zl. n i ii , .i ia it reauy true mat mere are burglar-proof and fire-proof graves, inquired a younz man on the other side of the table, as he marked up his points, ana oegan to shuffle the cards. tcVT 1-1 l n -vny Diess your soul or course there are," replied the good humored undertaker as he felt in his pocket for hi3 tobacco pouch. "The burglar proof grave was patented some years ago after the body of A. T. Stewart disappeared from New York. As that event was followed by some hor rible grave robberries in Cincinnati a Yankee conceived the idea that it would be an excellent thing to invent a burglar-proof grave. After experi menting for some time he finally pro duced an iron box with an iron lid, sufficiently large to hold a coffin. The lid of the box contained a spring: Joc.on tne inside, so that the box could not be reopened after being closed. For sometime these graves found a ready sale, but like many other styles they have ceased to be popular. Very often after a corpse has been put under the J ll n grouna, especiaiiv n insurance com panies or benevolent socities are inter ested, it is necessary to exhume it and have a post-mortem examination held This is an extremely difficult task to perform, as the box with its patent spring lock on the inside cannot be opened in a quiet manner. It must either be blown up like a burglar-proof sale or broken into pie.es with heavy sledges or hammers. The chances are that the corpse will be badly dis figured before it can be extricated from the box." Here the game and the narrative were brought to a close. Th Art of Thinking One of the best modes of improv ing the art of thinking is to think over some subject before you read upon it, and then observe after what manner it has occured to the mmd of some great master : you will then ob serve whether you have been too rash or too timid : what you have omitted and what you have exceeded ; and by this process you will insensibly catch the manner in which a great mind views a great question. It is right to study ; not only to think when any extraordinary incident provokes you to think, but from time to time to re view what has passed, to dwell upon it, and to see what trains of thought voluntarily present themselves to your mind. It is a most superior habit in some minds to refer all the particular truths which strike them to other more general truths, so their knowl edge is beautifully methodized, and a particular truth at once leads to the general truth. This kind of under standing has an immense and decided superiority over those confused heads in which one fact is piled upon another, witkout any attempt at classification or arrangement. Some men read with a p n in their hand, and commit to paper aiir new thought which strikes them; others trust to chance for its appearance. Which of uiese is the best method in the con duct of the understanding must, suppose, depend a great deal upon the understanding in question. borne men can do nothing without prepara tion : otner3. little witn it :: some are fountains, others reservoirs. Sidney omiih. A .Railroad Incident in Old Mexico. WORDS OF WISDOM. A Southern Colored Republican Leader's Opion of Governor Cleve land. "W. A. Pledger, the colored chair man of the republican executive com mittee of Georgia, said yesterday, iu speaking of the attitude of the colored race towards the coming administra tion of Cleveland as president : "I believe that hi3 administration will be characterized by such conser vatism as will make it one or the mo3t successful in the history of our presi dents. In this view I have with me many of the most prominent colored republicans throughout the south. Ave made every effort to elect Mr. Elaine because he was the candidate of the republican party, and the colored people have alwaTs voted with that party, bmce Ins defeat our people have been more than gratified at the course of our white democratic friends. Nothing but the kindest words have been spoken for us. We recognize the fact that the white demo crats of the south are those among whom our fortunes are cast. I cau safely say, in speaking for myself and 7,000.000 colored people of the south, that if Governor Cleveland's adminis tration carries out only half of the promise which have been made be fore the next election the colored vote will be equally divided between the two parties. There is no reason why the colored vole should be solidy re publican. There is every reason why it may become largelv democratic. number anions: my friends many of the most prominent democrats of the state, and their kind expressions to- wards our race when harshness might have been expected assures me that amonsr them are to be found the true friends of the colord man. Thi3 silly rsensation about negroes being: put back into slavery has, I am sorry to say, been spread among the colored people. They now find that they have been imposed on, and they have already become thoroughly re conciled to the election of the demo cratic ticket. It was first started as a mere joke, but was looked upon by the more fearful in a serious hghl We believe that the administration of Governor Cleveland will be a good A BULIj AND THE LOCOMOTIVE The White House Barber Muat Go. Washington Special. When Grant was president he had a colored barber, whom he had desig nated to shave him, appointed to a clerkshin in the fourth auditor's office. Anew railroad was in process of treasury department. At least he construction, and a pass was secured, was carried on the rolls of that office permitting me to ride on the engine, as a clerk, but he did but little work and I reached the end of the grade in in the treasury. He barberized Grant the afternoon. Nearly a score of twice a week, and also shaved Porter, "Greasers' claimed passage on the Babcock and nthe-s of Graut's official engine and tender, and clustered like household. He was not kept at work flies to the molass-3 though repeated- one hour a day on an average. Hayes ly warned away. As it was, the cow- kept him, and so did Garfield. He is catcher was covered with them, and we now the official barber of the white slid out into the gloaming with all our house, and, besides attending to the passengers in front instead of behind president, shaves Philips, the private the engine. Ihe hremaus seat, above secretary, and the white house clerks. and to the left of the furnace door, Through an intimate friend he tried was given to mea warm location, to fix himself with Governor Cleve- The sun went down, and into the dark land. Cleveland's auswer was after the headlight threw a saffron hearing the application : "That's one glem over the rails, followed by a ofhee I will abolish. The treasury ruddy glow, and then a broad shaft of department will not have to pay for t . i n 1 mi I i .t light projected rar in advance. ne my oarber. red faded out of the sky, aud we sped A Political Reminiscence. Boston Best. ''Rutherford," said Mrs. Haves a3 she watched that gentleman slowly mixng the meal for the chickens one 3 Pledger is the leader of the colored people in the state and is the collector of custom in Atlanta. A Sleepy Groom. liatner an unusual ana amusing episode took place on the occasion of the nuptials of Mr. M. G. C. Squibb of Bois d' Arc to Miss Nora Massey at Springfield Mo., last week. C4The preparations were all made, the guests present, the minister in attend ance, the bride expectant and im patiently awaiting the arrival of her spouse, six o ciock came ana an was m readiness, but no eroom. The minutes dragged slowly and expect ancy began to assume the air of uncer tainty. The quarter came and jokes began to become serious. Six-thirty and the bride grows nervous, guests shake their heads and look doubtful. At seven a messenger was sent to the hotel where the groom was stopping; a search was made and the delinquent was found in deep slumber, doubtless wandering through the land of dreams haud in hand with his bride. When he was rudely awakened and hurried ly brought into the presence of the guests whose patience had been so tested and of bis bride whose nervous system had received such a shock, his explanation that visions of future happiness so soon to be realized had prevented him from sleeping until almost morning and then exhausted nature had sought repose in slumber so deep that even the arrival of the happy hour was unheeded, was not received with sufficient favor to pre vent the reading of the first chapter of connubial discipline, after which the marriage ceremony proceeded, and the happy couple received the congratulations of their friends and the groom and their admonitions in re gard to keeping his wife waiting." this perhaps is the hrst case ever recorded in which a groom overslept himself unless he had been foolmsr round the wine cup. "ROUGH ON TOOTHACHE." Instant relief for Neuralgia, Toothache, Faceache. Ask for "Bough on Toothache." 15 & 25c. into the dismal depths with a rattle and a roar that silenced us all, and with a jolting and crashiug that ne cessitated a firm grip upon some sup port. At intervals of three or four minutes the active fireman swung which were peeping about him wait- opeu the furnace door with a baujr,and ing to be fed. "Rutherford, they shoved into its fiery throat fresh fuel say that that man Cleveland is really for its insatiate maw. Not a word elected. "to 1 have heard answer was spoken, but at a nod from the ed Mr. Hayes as he filled the dough engineer the assistant attended to his dish and listened to the plaintive peep duties like an automaton first to of a little chick evidently coming turn a cockaud let the hissing steam down with pip, "but they will prob- tull into our faces: then to pull the ably be able in some way to count bell rope : next to run out to trim the him out. You kuow we counted out headlicht. and ever and acrain to ierk Tilden eight years ago. Now that open the clanging door and rake up was a curious afiair. You Eee," he the almost molten mass of living coals continued, contemplatively, as he ,vithin. With one hand on tue lever knocked over with his spoon an ad the engineer peered out into the illu- ventuus chick that was climbing minated apace ahead to him familiar into the dough dish, "when they ground, but to me mysterious and counted out 111 "Mr. Hayes, unknown. cried .Lucy with a frown, "will you "That 8 the talk" chuckled the en- look after those chickens and then gineer, as headway was gained, and count out the eggs for market ?" And we were dashing down the track at as the ex-oecupant of the white house tremendous speed. "Just hear her went back to his work and began to now I Did vou ever notice, young get the eggs ready for market, he man, that ar mgme can talk? Well, thought of the good old time3 of 1876, she can. Didn't you hear her puff and absently counted eight eggs into a aud grunt like a human, as we started apace that only held seven. off? Uh. pshaw V she begins, 4 what do you want ? choo, choo, chose ! here How A Mouse Broke up a Family goes ! here you go 1 now you have it r uree uerres. How is that? how is that? Give it laay m osey town discovered a to her 1 Break her heart 1 break her mouse in the femily flour barrel. She hack I hrpAk hpr ' summoned her husband and told him "Jerusalem 1 Jim, look ahead! to get the gun, call the dog and. sta Spa that infernal old hul on the track non nimseir near tne scene or on- right between the rails and head on. slaught. Getting up on a high chair .Tim. T fRTfc sfnn hor I "Rkmpd if thp. she commenced punching the flour old woman don't mean fight ! She barrel with a pole. The poor mouse means to knock the stuffin out of that soon made its appearance and started bull! Heaven help them Greasers on across the floor, the dog immed'at-ly the cow-catcher ! Hold on to some- pursuit. In the excitement the thing, boys, boys! She will fight! man fired the gun, killing the dog, Dog-gone her old heart, but she's a and the lady fainted and fell off the hnntflm !" chair. The man. thinking she was The lever swung- over the entire dead and fearing arrest for murder, arc of the gauge, and the steam hissed cleared out and has not been heard of m a volume throucrh the ODen throt- since. J.ne mouse escaped. tin Knf t Viq nnnfrortr nl A onrrino ,! ' , . i v jJ v , . & ..u An Old Field Weed. r nnnnrh trnm miner orn cnnninnr urirh I Si- u r;Ar, -The old field mullein has been a seem- the Strain, shook her mailed Sides iDgly outcast for many vears, bnt now it "taking the bits m her teeth and has suddenly attracted the attention of the 1 - J Z i i i l lit ... i leaving our unver agnasu mencai worm wno now recognize it to oe "Santa Maria! Somo3 perdido3 ! the best lung medicine yet discovered, We're lost !" wailed the despairing when made into a tea and (mbioed with T,r - sweet gum, presents in Taylors Cherokee ,,A , ., , i . Kemedy of Sweet Gum and Mullein a viuess tney oa, mutterea tne nre- pleasant and effective cure for man ; "and I would n t want to m- Croup, Whooping Cough and Consump- sure our own tion. bold by all druggists at 2o cents and n-nu i 1.00 a bottle. The foes had met. The bull, oh, t mnr, U9 AU nn.. 11, T Then meet in a dark alley. . j ij - a. "Your money or your life" de- uie HLuruy urn eugiue, iiuw uuuiu to a. AA K;'km 1 -i, i - . - , . t -i mauueu one uiunayuiau. UQlb. 11C1 f JL V 11UUL ILiiALUb. ami Y lllJ I mi . -11 . -j , . xne man in tne sub: nat eave up wh nnw win in i ti it i i m i i w ii f" hum Trm. i - - . . , his money and drew him into conver- lux j m And the Mexicans ? them. At length, however, advertise ments appeared in American and English pipers to te effect that I'Sqnire Wilkinson, ofa certain city in the Mormon state had died and be queathed hi9 fortune amounting to 43 000 in English money, to John Batt, Pluckeiy, Kent, if alive, if dead to his son, John Batt, and in default of the hitter to his brothers and sis ters. The elder Batt died many years ago, and his wife married a green grocer. The baby, John Batt, has lately been working as a bricklayer. Just in His Line. "Jim ! look down ahead and see'f she's hurt. Hokey ! ain't it dark I" Jim jumped through the cab win dow and ran ahead. As he did so he stumbled over a body, and another, and three white forms came out of the gloom to meet him. "Guess it 8 all right, he shouted back. "What! ain't she damaered a bit!" "Kind o' bloody an' battered, but weak sPota- esh as a daisy. She ain t lo3t even tooth." "Ain't she a tearer?" "You bet." sation. When the highwayman emerged from the alley he stopped to count his money. It was gone his own with it, every cent. Who was the man in the silk hat? A bankcashhr. Chicago News. LIFE PRESERVER. If you are losing your grip on life, try "Wells' Health Benewer." Goes direct to He Remembered The Baby. Some members of the humble East Kent family have just -had a fortune Konoofhoi tr thflm n r H or AffiKinrfliTi. r;;ScomeuP' Sreaser3 ary circumstances. About the period knred?' r.u n: iu . , , , ii i I ui tue uumcau war a. muuiiui; xuuu JIUU , scciu tu us ail llOLO. "Any damaged V "Don't seem to be" after a hurried questioning. "You see, three of em named John Batt lived in Piucklev with his wife. A young workiugman named Wilkinson came to reside jumped and t other two crawled up the Bfttte. He used to smoke a pipe iU3t m time to save their shins." i. c iu tuc guiueu ux ixix ovtuiug, ueip mm in his cultivation and took a particu lar fancy to tneir newest baby, 'little John Batt carrying him about and "is that so r Uidn t know a Greas er could be so spry. I did kind of hope but no matter; I 'spose it would agone wuss if we laid out any one. There'll be a row about that No Other Piasters do Thia. Benson's Capcine Plasters stimul ite the circulation and expel disease. They stop all pain. 25c. Sir Thomas, The Boas Oat. London Letter to the Boston Herald, . "Come along" said Mi3s Fite, a noted dealer in cats, at the show the other day, "come along and look at a few I raised myself. I have taken many prizes for cats, for this is the sixteenth annual cat show at the Cry stal palace, and I've had cats in every one of them. Before the 8th of Octo ber all entries have to be made, aud vou ay 3 shillings and 6 pence for each separate cat entered and for each small group of kittens, which, if too young to betaken front themother,may be sent with her. Each competitor must be packed in a seperate basket. If a person don't want to sell cats, yet don't want to say so, they can put on a fancy price, though if sold 10 per cent is charged on all sales. The working men have really the finest cats on show." All this having duly been catalogu ed to me, we pushed through the crowds to look at the cats of all ages, styles and colors. Little girls had been brought thither by their nurses. It was as good as a show to hear them exclaim, delightedly, at the various "kitties." I never saw a youngster who did not love a cat, and "pretty pussie" was charmed ad lib, by the little folks. There were short haired cats, long-haired cats, black cats, white cats, tabby cats, Persian. Angora, tortoise-shell cats, and only one Maltese cat. There were cross cats, amiable cats, cantankerous cats and sleepy cats, and, as if by common consent and realizing that they were all on their good behavior, there, was scarcely a "meow" in the crowd save from the throat of some tiny kitten who was being bamboozled out of its proper share of dinner by its pestifer ous little brother or sister kit. Three little kittens who possibly had "lost their mittens," for "they all began to cry were named Fluffy, Puffy and Tuffy. These were half Persian, and! were ten shillings (625,0) apiece. In the next cage sat a digni- hed bitten, as black as a coal, named Tinker, only eight weeks old, priced at $o. .Lottie and Tottie, two little swells, ono black, one yellow, gamboled about their proud mother, who winked knowingly at the scrutiny of the moving crowds. "Now, said my funny little spinster guide, "here is one of my family." And she halted before a pure Persian, which bore a price ticket 1,000 acd had taken half a dozen prizes. Five, ten, twenty and 100 pounds were frequent prices tacked on their 1.1 A 1 cages : out wnen we came to ussicune, late Tiger, lying on an embroidered satin cushion trimmed in Jbinglish bobinet lace and marked 100,000 or $500.000, 1 simply took a back seat, metaphorically. Well, Ossidme was a pretty tabby cat, but I don't think I'll ever own him, unless he's raffled for a shilling a try. One, gentleman, evidently of a sporting turn of mind, who values his blue Persian atj ,000, gave his pedigree on a tinted card, as follows: "Dam Viola, by Miss Ack land's Tizza and Sultan ; sire Rough, by Mrs. Powell's Lady Flora and Shah, all winners of numerous prizes." The owner of thi3 rara avis, named Midget, years old, was a physician of South Norwood, who evidently is not anxious to sell his cat. A Coming Reunion. Z An interesting feature of the World's exposition at New Orleans will be a united eucampraent of veter ans of the war, embracing the soldiers of the union and confederate armies. The board of managers of the exposi tion have voted $10,000 for this pur pose, and 1,000 tents will be con structed fr the free accommodation of the veterans. The move Tieut wa3 organized under the auspices of the grand army of the republic aud the local association of the confederate armies of Northern Virginia and Ten nessee. Captai i Elger Wheeler, of Lincoln Post No., 1. G. A. B., at Topeka, Ka3., ha3 been selected aa commander of the camp. The tents will be supplemented by wooden bar racks, and accommodations will be provided for 10,000. Perfect Siarht. As thousands can testify, there is noin- ing so much to be desired as perfect sight, and perfect sight can only be obtained by using perfect spectacles. C. G. Taylor, our home optician, exercises great skill and pa tience in fitting those needing spectaclee with carp and comfort to the wesrur. ri2-nntn i Avoid Pilla Being largely composed of mercury they eventually ruin the stom ach, but Allen's Bilious Physic, a vegeta ble mixture, acts quickly and effectually cures, xwenty-nve cents. At an drug gists. a making him presents. Batt had ?'d, hf tvsiaui theU br,mST,a had gone out with the Mormons to bill of S60 for his carcass; and Im Amebri and Wilkinson having do ready to swear that them Greasers term;ned t0 g0 to the United SUtes, arednvin 'em up on the track as t. ff , . f :,.j..: ' fist as I can run em off! But she to h. Tidings came that Wil- T J'Xi t10' d'?nt 8 ' kinson and Batt's sister and family J im V The Express J ouanal. Wflrfi t1nthe, anil lt .lm lrmmxjA fftof f Vq a i ataxia linahan3 ha A A ia.A PRETTY WOXEX. rri, j t T.A.o n ,A raUtn fWhr mnA UaTLlWS IUBUO 1UUUBV IU JttUYer vivacity. Don't fail to try "Wells1 Health aQd Salt Lake City, but for very Benewer." many years nothing was heard of A Remarkable Tribute. Sidney Ourchundro, of Pittsburg, Pa.. writes; "I have used DR. WM. HALL'S BALSAM FOR THE LUNGS many years with the most gratifying results. The re lieving inffoence of HALL'S BALSAM is wonderful The pain and rack of the body incidental to a tight cough, soon disappear by the use of a spoonful according to direc tions. My wile frequently sends for HALL'S BALSAM, iustead of a physician and health is speedily restored by its use.1 A Fair Offer. The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich., offer to send Dr. Dye's Voltaic Belt and Appliances on trial, for thirty days, to men, young or old, afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality, and kindred troubles, See advertisement in this paper. POWDER Absolutely Pure, This powaer never vanes. A marvel ot purity, strength and wholsomeneaa. 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The Ohio & Mississippi Bailway 13 NOW RUNNING A Daily Xjito.o OF Palace Sleeping Coaches From ST. liOUIS to NEW TOSE WITHOUT CHANGE. The only line by which you can get through cars from St. Louis to Cincinnati without paying extra fare in addition to money paid for ticket. For Tickets, Rates, or any particular informa tion, call on Ticket Agents of connecting line, West, Northwest and Southwest. Or m St. IiOnis at 101 4c 103 Fotb, St. W. W. PEABODY, W. B. SHATTUC, Pres't and Gen'l ilangager. Gen'l Pass'r Agt. Cincinnati, O. G. I. BACON,Gem'l West'a Pass. Ajrt, St. JLenis, M. A- P. WYCKOFF, Breeder and dealer in Registered Berkshire Hogs 4-Swly APPLETON CITY, MO. STANDARD BIOGRAPHIES JUST READY. BLAINE and LOGAN 712 Royal octavo pages; 67 full naff Illustrations. TnJ)EN, CLEVELAND and HENDRICKS-774 Royal octavo pages, 35 fuil-page Illustrations, Best terms ever offered to agents. Outfit Free, and all Freighf Paid. Address m H. 8. GOODSPEED A CO, 10-7-wly. New York or Chicago.