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XHjti SEDAiLk WEEKLY iZOO. TUESDAY XOYENBEB 23, 1666.
a THE RAO BAG. Doily Explains Some Thugs to Will Which He Was Not Aware of. Will said to me the next niorning after a recent wedding in this city, "By George, Dolly: Do you know I made a brainless idiot of myself last night and somebody ought to throw the bootjack at me." "Yes," I said, "but as I am a little too tired to throw the bootjack this morning, suppose we forego the punishment and you tell me what makes you in such a penitent mood." ''Well, vou see. Dollv, last night I fully meant to congratulate the bride and" groom bot. but I forgot ull 8 bout the groom and just lavished m v best wishes oa the bride; acted just as if she had I waved a jrize in stead of the man, doa't you see?" "Poor Will," 1 said, "that was too bad, but I dare say others did the same thing and nobody noticed your peculiar action." And then I went to the "rag-bag" and found the follow ing to comfort that M husband 1 mine," and lest others may l ave committed the same breach of etiquette, I will read it to you." "About the last person anyone thinks of at a wedding U the groom, i here N a vague consc'cusn m that he is necessary to make the thing go oh well, but the matter beg ns and ends here, and even the minister would not pay any attention to his presence it it weie not for the reponses.'" There is truth in that but really I lo not believe that i man ever appre ciates his inferiority to a woman quite in the fashion he does when he stands before the altar in the presence of an audience of friends and knows he is about to become a husband. He trembles all over and a certain minis ter of this city told a friend of mine that at one church wedding where he officiated, that the groom's knees literally knocked together until the concussion was audible some distance away. Was it not funny? acting as it he had just been arrested for murder or some similar offense, in stead of about to become the protector of the delicate womau at his side. There was one thing to be said iu his favor, you know, he in noticed and that was a great gain over the usual groom. Women as a rule, are perfectly c-alua during the important ceremony and look with a certain amu-ement oa the timid, shrinking creature at their ides and yet they know that they are as brave as a Hon at other times, and while amused, still forgive them. You remember the story of the Scotch girl who told her minister she vat g ling to be married. "Oh, weel," said he, "but it's a maun solemn thing to marry." "Yes." said the girl, "but it's a maun solemuer thing not to Hiarry." And that is about the way women look at the matter, and more's the shame. Some girls act as if the only objec. in their lives was marriage, and they literally "run after men." Now, Will said to me the other day "Dolly, I wish your friend, Miss , and her friend, Miss , would take themselves up a little." "Take themselves up, Will? Why, what in the world do you mean V "I mean that they let the gentlemen know too plainly that they are in the market, that is, on the marry, you know, and they ought not to do it." "On the marry," I said, "Well Will I wouldn't use such dread ful s aug if I were you to make my meaning clear, but what causes you to think the girls wish to marry." "Oh I don't particularly know as I e n ex plain, but those two girls dress in gor geus apparel and they go down town and walk about and dandle throun the stores and then when they see certain gentlemen they manage to meet them and look so perfectly de lighted when they succeed in getting them to promenade with them that it is really noticable and the wors of it is, Dolly, the boys laugh about those things among themselves and some how it seems to me it serves to cheap en the girls." I mused a moment on the truth of Will's remarks and then not to encourage him 1 said, "Will, my dear, does it not seem to you that gentlemen show considerable egotism when they imagine that because a lad? is ordinarily pleasant to them they are anxious to wed them ?" "Oh I dunno" said Will. "Well I do" I said and then I dove down into the "ragbag" for an illustration and I told him the following actual incident : A man of very average attractions living not a hundred miles away from this city had as a guest an intelligent and ban 'some widow whom he had long known and to make her visit more tnan ordinarily pleasant, he anticipated her wishes and in act was quite attentive. One day a lady of the vicinitiy called upon the widow and after some time spent in social converse and light badinage, j in wnicn me married uian, wnose wife was not present, took an active part, the visitor finally asked the widow "why she did not marrv again?" The widow laughed a little and then i said earnestly. "I know but one man whose many excellent qualities of head and heart, if he were not already married would prove a great attracion to me and I really believe, as the saying goes ,1 would set my cap for him." Tha widow had in her niiud a singularly inte lligent as well as courtly and hardsome gentleman of her acquantance, but to her inteuse astonishment, as well as the visitor's amusement, Mr. Married man, w :Li the conceit of his sex as high as a mountain, spoke up and said, wi.ha certain air of sincerity which con vinced his hearers that he believe exactly what he was saying, Uj Mrs 1 know whom you mear.." "Do you indeed, well pray tell us ?n answered the widow. "Oh of course you mean me." It whs too much for the widow and she laughed uutil she actually cried, and the worst of it all was, Mr. Married Man's con. ceit was so dreadfully wounded that he ever quite forgave her." Will iistened all the way through the tory and then he laughed a little, but w th the stublwrn jwrsist ence of his sex, he said : "The story is v rv well. Dolly, ana I confess thur with the exception of your pocket book half, mauiug, of course, myself, nearly all men have a fund of conceit, but still, all the same, I wih those girls wouldn't run certain gentlemen down the way they do," and, un known, of course, to Will, there is an echo which says, "I wish they wou du't either" in the heart of yours, with love. Dolly. DEACON D1NW1DDIE. He Discusses Politics and Scratched Tickets With Jones at the Grocery. The Deacon Wants Jones' Son to Sing Praises in the Church Choir. CASS COUNTY. "Mikado" waa given the other night for the first time iu Harrison ville. Oapt. Albert Parker, of Sedalia, was in town at the Harrisouville House on Tuesdav. T. A. Moseley is getting ready to smile on all Barrett & Co.'s custo mers for Christmas with his usual holiday variety. ft Harry E uls, of Sedalia, traveling for C P. Muir, was in HarrUouvilie the other day. He rejorts sales good and the crop of ducks poor. The public schools of Harrison ville are in a flouri.-hing condition now, and the people are justly proud of them. Miss Lizzie Wagenlander, of Sedalia, is one of the teachers. Circuit court is iu HMM and Judge Sloan is holding his final term. He make:? a dignified judge, bill he lacks avordupois. He'll get that if he should go to dr.uking beer and sleeping al ne. The old court house has been abandoned by the county, it being considered dangerous at 1 untenable. The circuit court is being held in Harnett's Hail, the only hall in Bar ri-onviile suitable for a theatrical entertaimeut or a wandering Uncle Tom's Cabin troupe. Light weight jodgi I will some times occupy the beneh in this county. By light weight it is not intended to convey the idea that thev are slimly provided for with brains. It is the reverse of this. Judge Sloan weighs 125 pounds while Probate Judge elect Glenu pulls the beam at 118. Boh will make worthy and aoceptable officials. In the circuit court the other day a damage suit was being heard by Judge Sloan before a jury, with Bailey plaintiff, and O'Baunon defen dant. In the course of the trial, S. P, Sparks, of Warrensburg, who was one of the plaintiff's attor neys, asked the plaintiff, who was on the witness stand : "When were you married ?" Answer February ."rd, 1866. Question Where ? A. Johnson county India' a. Q. Was your daughter, Alice , born in wedlock ? A. (Very positively.) No sir. She. was horn in Indiana R. T. Kiily, who was the attorney for O'Baunon was convulsed with mer riment at the prednament Sparks and his witness were in. That evening, Bob was endeavoring to negotiate with a photographer lor Sparks pict ure to emb llish the pages of some illustrated paper. The Troubadours. Salsbury's Trou adours appeared at the opt ra house last night to a good house and these old time favor ites, as usual won rounds of applause. The "Brook" is merely a picnic party who have an excellent time and as it is interspersed vith laughable inci dents and excellent topical hits, with out a chestnut among them. It was very enjoyable. Of Salsbury and Willie McHenry it is only necessary to say that they im prove with time. We ster also is much improved, while F. B. Blair does some specially good work. Miss Marie Bockel sings as well as she acts, and all in all the "Brook" was a success. The coming attraction Nov. 25th and 26th is "Bound to Succeed.' i "Give me a 'hank' of long green,' 1 TV C' TV 1 ! saiu UQ2LCOU oimeon JJinwidaie to Jones last night as he stepped into th grocery a little after twilight. "I have been smoking bough ten tobacco until I am about half dead. "Yes, as soon as the boy comes to go up stairs where I keep it," urbane ly r -plied Jones. "Have a seat !w Deacon Diuwiddie sat down in a chair, that once had been cane-seated, but since the cane had worn out, a board had done service in holding up the customers who frequented the cor ner grocery. S Deacon Dinwiddie, Wanted. At this office. The Century for Novem ber 1881 and February and May, 1884. Cash paid. There was a long silence which was broken by a boy coming through the yard aud inte the back door singing: ' Old iK aeon Grimes, the old galoot, He kept a grocery store, And when his customers refused To pay their 1 i t tie- score, Old DmmbMI r rimes he got his wife To stand hehin i the door. And with a broom she quickly laid Them fellers on tbe tloor." "if that boy was to cultivate his voice and tone himself down a little, he would do to sing in our choir," said the deacon. ''That is my s -n,M said Jones, '"and he eau't :-ing iu the choir, for there are so many young men who elope that sinir there I can't consent to any such a place for my child." "Changing the subject," said the deacon, as he found out he was tread ing on a matter that was not pleasant, "how did vou like the way the elec tion went "Oh ! I was sorry Heard was elected for he is a blasted deceptive man. It is a sad com men tar v ou the democratic party when it comes to pass, that such as him must hold the best office in the district," said Jones. "Well, I tell you, brother Jones, that this thing of voting a straight ticket because it is straight is poor business. For more'n forty years I have voted nothing but the demo cratic ticket, only when I voted for Greeley, but I am througn. Lookout for scratched tickets from me here after," said the Deacon very decid edly. The boy brought in the "hank" of tobacco ai d Jones handed it to the Deacon. "Put this on the slate," said the Deacon. "The slate was broken last night bv the cat knocking it off the desk," shouted the boy, and then he dodged through the back door, singing : "A lady was nursing an old black cat, Not a very queer sight for to see, t imt if tbe black cat had been nursing the lady What a queer looking sight that would be.'' "I understand you scratched your ticket election day. How was that V interrogated Jones. "Scratch! Certainly I did. My ticket looked like a map of the Boston fire when it went through Judge Chaneya hands into the box." "I have heard it said that some were afraid to vote a scratched ticket while Chaney was one of the judges of election. Did you hear anybody say anything about that?" asked Jones, looking directly at the deacon, who had filled his pipe, and there was a cloud of smoke about his head. "He did not keep me from voting a scratched ticket I can't speak as tor others, but 1 think that that must be one of those campaign stories that bas but little foundation. But, by the wav, Jones, do you know when Cha ney's term as judge expires?' asked the deacon. "Oh ! that is a life office, I reckon, as I see Judge Chaney there every time," replied Jones, looking awfully curious and as if he thought he had said something smart "John Conner made a good officer and 1 voted for him, because he signed ray petition for the post office, but; that young man running against him is a good one and no doubt will make a good officer, but I wanted Conner," said the deacon. "It was reported that he was a Knight of Labor and 1 would not vote for him," remarked Jones, yawn ing. . "Oh ! that was a mistake, for I know one of the prominent members of that dark lantern society who worked against him all durinjr the campaign," positively asserted the deacon, "and I am thoroughly dis gusted at the management and acts of those in authority ever since the cam paign," he continued as he pressed his thumb on top of the tobacco iu his cob pipe, and shook the loose ashes off. "Dad" cried Jones' boy at the top of his voice putting his head in at the back door, "mam wants y-m to send her the place of to-morrow's Sunday school lesson right off" and the lad left throwing an old bone at a stray dog and singing : "Oh who would he a p?sky sal n the piamr atrMMUMg, I'd r itht-r be a boy and grow To be just like Jim Cumming." As Jones went to the dek to hunt the Sunday scho o lesson the deacon got up and remarked : "It i- getting late and I mu-t be goin', so I will button up my swing clear and start." "What make- vou call that coat a 'swing clear?" asked Jones impiisi tivelv ot the deacon "That a as named 'swinging-clear by niv daughter, Sophia because,' when 1 first got it she said it would swing e'ear of the ground when I put it on. She made lots of fun of it then, but since I've had it so long she is a petting kind of reconciled to LETTER FROM POC AHONTAS. Hillie Itrotliprtnn thnnf to .loin the Detective forces for Reasons. A Wedding bv the Dawn's Early Light Society Belles and Who Will Get There. it, so good evening. Sophia Dinwiddie, Belle of the west end, Sedalia, Mo. Gnod eveuening rejoiued Jones.'' Aud the deacon closed the door after him, while the boy poked his head from behind a mackerel barrel and sang: Farewell, farewell, old litnburg che e, And keep jour powder dry, Thore's many a turkey roosting low That tojae day will rcoat high. And many a fatted gobler high, Who loves official pap, Will feel the party snicker-snee, And from his perch will drap." Hardly a newspaper printed but speaka of a sudden death bv heart disease. Dr. Graves' Heart Regulator would hve cund it: strong assertion, but many have said they wee saved from the grave by it. $1 per bottle at druggists. RAILWAY RACKET. A Budget of Local Information for the Especial Benefit of Railway Men. J. M. Fdwards, vice president and general manager ; E. W. How, general passenger agent ; A. W. Sharp, master of transportation of the Louisville, New Orleans & Texas, the "Mississippi Valley route," and J. A, Woodson, traffic manager oi the Lit tle R'ck & Fort Smith road, are in St Louis holding a consultation with Missouri Pacific officials regarding the establishment of a through service from St. Louis to New Orleans via those lines. All details are not ar ranged yet, but if the plan is consum mated, elegant rolling stock will be put on the line and solid trains run be tween St. Louis and New Orleans. Give Ely's Cream Balm a trial. This justly celebrated remedy for t' e cure of catarrh, hay fever, cold in the head, etc, ran be obtained of any reputable druggist and may be reli d upon as a safe and pleasant remedy lor the altovc com plaints and will give immtili.ite relief. It is not a liquid, snuff or powder, has no of fensive odor and can be used at any time with good results, as thousand can testily, among them some of tbe attaches of thb office. Spiril of Ou Tinu, May 29, 1886. $1,000 and upwards, inn ini&io finfl I ANA Pettis county, atSix mini waaaa w . . . ... per cent interest, with special privileges, inclndin? partial pay-1 aents. Botuhell s J a yn ks, Af vs. l2-20dScly lllgenfrits Building, Sedalia Jefferson City, N v. 20. Alter the hurricane I raistd last week I t.'el that it is downright pre sumpti n for me to show my head above water, especallv ince Billie liroihertou, iu his Pinkertonish capicity, has at last found out who the author of that epistolary effort was. Now, had 1 the valiant COURAC;E OF JIM Cl'MMIN.S, I might write several letters exhotior ating the little lady, upon whose head Ike v'mls of his wrath have been poured, but I never had much sym pathj wi h thoaeself-sacritieinjr people, who ar continually Mag mysterious deeds fnf sweet charity's sake, and besides, the evidence has irivcn us livitijj examples of how letter writing has, in the end, ruined many a bud ding statesman ; so please "ruru this letter" and give my regards to . I rushed frantically forth Wednes day morning, almost at the M ep of dawn, to High Mas-, that 1 night witnt ss the solemnization of the mar- riage of Miss Kate Btempii to Mr. 11 ago Mosaic. The dim light of the church, resplendent with the burning altar caudles, aud rosy morn peeping into the stained red ami amber window-, with the bride dressed in pale biue rhadame WITH MJPffUB OF LACE, her long veil shading her face, made a very pretty picture, and I telt am ply repaid for the loss of my morning uap. After the ceremony, came the wedding journey. On their return, they will domicile theiiwives in preit ly furnished apartment- an t be at home after Thanksgiving to their many friends. Altogether, the nicest entertainment that has been given for some time, was the Mrs. O'Deocd's reception Wednesday evening, honor of the return of her brother, Roe Berry, from Yellowstone Park, where he has been for the past year with I. W. Wear. Mr. aud Mrs. O'Deoeh have hardly beeu married a year. This re ception served also as an ojeu house wa.-min on their beginning to keep house for the first time and will be but the first of manv pleasant ent. r tainmeuts given by her during the winter. Mr. John Sehh has moved iut 0 his new hme on High Street. Miss Mollie Holman of Bo will spend a great jMU t of th' vith Mrs. Sebree. Mi.-s reat favorite here. Not beautiful voc.il talent, but her w.asome pers male has mule mauy friends, especially among the ladies, and that is the rarest taleut womankind can possess. At present Miss Bettie White, of Howard county, is a guest of M rs. Sebree, aud will remain during the month. By the way, notwithstanding the number of p-etty girls, we have here, an influx of visitors, young ladies, is expected, we won't have half beaux enough, if we depend entirely upon our local supply, and unfortunately, the list of representatives and senators coming this winter, contaius an exasperating number of married men. 1 don't know what can be done for the ladies, unless the gallant Sedalia gentlemen will come t the front, A very amusing little bonmot was told me this morning by a married, lady friend, which I must give you. She said that COL. WM. ZKVERLY was calling upon Kme young friends visiting her and during the evening one young miss said : "Mr. Zeverly how did you get your title of Col.?" Straightening himself to his utmost height, with a far away look in his eyes, he replied : 'Miss, I was born a 'Lionel " Miss Alpha Seibert, eldest daugh ter of our state treasurer, will return soon from Fulton, where she has been attending school, during the holidays, to remain all winter. Miss Seibert is one of the prettiest young ladies in the state, and will be an addition to society. She is having a number of handsome costumes prepared in St. Louis for the winter. Among them is an evening costume of rose colored rhadame, with coverings and acces sories of black guipure lace, and Redfern walking suit of garnet cloth. Auditor John Walker s daughter, Miss Aggie, will be another of this seasons beautiful debutants With a dark, olive complexion, liquid brown eyes and hair that matches the raven's wing, she will compare well, in beauty and grace, with any oT our beauties of national repntation. She is wearing this winter a magnificent suit of amber satin, embroidered in pearls. JJJMiss Emma Davison is a young ou. , - J s POWDER Absolutely Pure. This DOwJer tiHnr vanee. A maire! of 'purit trpBKtlt an WBcieoaenesa. yoe economic ' hu the oii uary kind.-, and rnn't ce pold i.uiiwtitiot. with" tm-iuu :iruJb S t w 'ei, snort vatfBtataai i i . - -e wier -old oalj i H3. debutante, also beautiful, chiefly at tractive by her alabaster like com plexion and leautiful expression, and lias always been notd for the beauty of her costumes. She can well be called the best dressed lady in society. Miss Davison is at preseut in St. Louis, with her sister, Mrs. Obear, iloiu sf me shopping and enjoying the pleasures attendant upon such a visit. Miss Ksteile Vogdis, daughter of Major Vbgdh of the secretary of state's office, is another debutante this seasou. YOUNG, WINNING AND BRIGHT, together with a really attractive fece aud form, I predict tor her great success as a belle. She has always been a fav rite, even when a school girl, and now that she is fully in the swim of society, she will be more pop ular than erer. Miss Es telle has just returned from a long tour of the northern lakes, where she was chap eroned by Mrs George Reynolds, of St. Louis, since June. Exactlv who the belle of Jefferson City is, can well be considered a mooted question. We have o many really attractive and pretty young ladies in society, that our neighbors might well envy us, and like evtry city of thi ?ize there are a half dozen different sets, each one thinking their own the creme de le creme of all others and this riva'rv involves a charm of ex peetaaey. It includes, to my mind, that aid doctrine af the "survival of the fittest." The- chief besetting danger, however, lies in the modest violet blushing unseen, while her bolder sisters of fashion Hash their scintillating glory on society and sip every passing pleasure. Pocahontas. Horsford's Acid Phosphate. MAKKKD BENEFIT IN INDIGESTION. Dr. A. L. Hall, of Fair Haven, N Y.. says: "I have prescribed it with marked benefit in indig stion and urinary troubles." Hateful Hyde. Joe Hyde, who is probable the "on riest man" in Sedalia, is again trying to make history. Too lazy to work too mean to live, he has long dragged out a miserable existence and forced a dependent family to drag out a still more miserable one. Some three years ago Hyde, during a drunken spree, was run over in the Pacific yards and lost a leg, his companion being killed, since then Hyde has, it possible, proven still more worthleaa. Two years ago this winter he appb'ed to the city for aid. In company with Mayor Rick he reporter visited his house and found the family destitute, the children bare foot and almost naked. Mrs. Hyde, though ill, was trying to patch np some old clothes while Hyde lay stretched on the only bed in the house, full length, reading a news paper. "Are you sick P asked the scribe. 'Naw, I'm all right only I'm hun gry, but the old woman and children ueed clothes." "Why don't you get out and do some work f "It's too damn cold to work this weather." "But other people work." "That's all right if their fools enough to do it, but I ain't agoin' to." Such is a specimen of the man in those days but if anything he has since grown more and more worth less. Yesterday he went home and threw one of his children through av window neariy killing it aud then pro ceeded to beat his invalid wife, whom the physicians say he has given a nameless and loathsome di-ease thai is fast destroying her life. Fearing for their lives the family notified the police but when they arrived Hyde had left. His is one of the numerous cases that show the need of a good woik house where those who can do and won't do can be made to do.