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THE SEDAI4A WEEKLY BAZOO, AX; GUST 5, 1890. gEDALIA BAZOO PUBLISHED BY J. West Goodwin Printing Company. huiv, uiclafllnE; Sanity. ?t ypxr- UuJay amon per year. ... 'S 00 ... I o Vwldr, 52 numbr. per yr. Abut, delivered, per week MMM. NEWS DKA.T.KBS frularly sapplisu at, 'iyt cents n copy. At! sub9criDtfnns payahlo in ftlv:ince, ami dj rnn nued nt end of tliu- pii tor. Kew ttnce wav be made by diaft, money irder or rejrfctered letter, at onr ritfc. GIvp office ad tress in lull, including biate aud comuv' -and addtesa J. WEST QttOWWW. President and Manager. a TELEPHONE NUMBERS. 'Business office 48 . Job rooms 169 "Whosa stoppeth his ears at -the cry of tfhe 'Kazoo,' he also shall ry himself, but shall not he Jieard." Frov. XXI : 13. Electricity is a very dangerous fluid, but yet we make light of it Kb sarplus does not seem to have worked well in the Argentine Repub lic. Bad as the lotteries are this country will never permit postmasters to open xSnd examine private letters mark that Citizen George Francis Train pro poses now to circumnavigate the glebe, as an advertising agent of the town of Tacoma, in filty-seven days. The Citizens seems wiiling to ride as long as anybody will furnish the transpor tation. The accounts of a pill-maker who lias just died in England show that he has been spending 3200,000 a year for advertising. His heirs, however, are finding no particular fault with this extravagance, as he leaves an es state valued at S25,000,000 all due to pills and advertising. Dr. Brown-Sequard, in the car rent issue of a magazine, discusses the question, "Have We Two Brains, or One ?" It was feared that owing to the few persons who took stock in the doctor's elixir-of-life theory he might have come to the conclusion that ihe majority of folks haven't any. The Philadelphia Bulletin, as staunch a republican p.per as that great city possesses, and a paper that fights for its party all the time, de clares there is not one republican out of twelve in the North who favors the Force bill. A truer warning has rarely been given. The West is nothing if not original. Here comes St. Joseph with the story of how an enterprising thief stole most of a circus, including the only ele phant, two camels, five horses and a few of what Mr. Wanamaker would call odds and ends in animals. And yet St. Joseph's claim to the World's Fair was"1 overlooked in favor of Chi cago. A novelty in advertising that at tracts a great deal of attention has been adopted by a New York photo graphic establishment. On the roof of the building a man dressed like a fioldier, and carrying a gun, marches tip and down as if on duty at cer tain hours of the day. Peop?e in the street 8 below stop, glance upward, Jitare, and then pass on with a smile. It is charged that Blaine's recipro city theory means free wool and free iron ores for the languishing manu- actures of New England. Of course does, and it would be valueless if it teant anything else. He sees what 4ie lesser party leaders can't or won't ee viz., that we must have free raw materials even to save our home markets to our home industries, and that the utmost cheapness of product consistent with well paid, labor must be attained to enable our industries to enter the markets of the world. Dunkirk, N. Y., has a ' veteran of the war in the person of a woman. Mrs. Wm. Sinfield. to whom Congress has just granted a pension of $15 a month. By special permission she enlisted with her husband in Com pany E, Seventy-second Regiment, New York Volunteers, and was in the battles of Williamsburg, Seven Pines fleach Orchard, the .second battles of 'Malvern Hfll, the second jjattle of Bull Run, the battles of J Chantilly, Fredericksburg, Chan cellorsville and Gettysburg. She has earned her 50 cents a day, The committee on street illumina tion fair week, will soon solicit sub scriptions from the business men of Sedalia. It is to be hoped they will meet with liberal encouragement. This is a most important matter. It is a good investment for those who furnish the money. Nothing attracts more universal admiration from visit ors than the illumiuations. The plan has been tried and found success ful. Make it permanent. Prepare to give the solicitors a liberal sub scription -when called upon. Last year's disaster at Spokane Falls has been paralleled by the con flagration which has destroyed the town o Wallace, ia Idaho, about one hundred miles from Spokane. Lia bility to conflagration is inseparable from the building of new settlements, and we may expect, especially dur ing the dry seison, a greater or less number of such calamities annually. All that can be done, apparently, is to improve the fire-extinguishing appli ances in the new towns and to give proper consideration to water supply in locating them. Only thirty years ago feudalism of the worst kind prevailed in Japan. At that time a reform established the rule of the Mikado and overturned the feudal regime. Now, by the elec tions of the past month, a new government, in the form of a consti tutional monarchy, has been set up. Thus rapidly has the power of the people assert itself in that Oriental land. Democracy is spreading throughout the world. The day of kings and queens, princes and lords, is fast passing away. Mr. Wanamaker has one practical postmaster in hi3 service. It is Mr. George H. Thomson, of Warren, Wyo. Thompson says that he cannot afford to sell two-cent postage-stamps for two cents. Consequently he has marked them up to five cents and his bargain counter is not crowded. The people in and around Warren are in dignant and are petitioning Mr. Wan amaker to remove Thompson. As a practical merchant Mr. Wanamaker will doubtless sympathize with his Wyoming postmaster, but the two cent stamp must be sold for two cents or withdrawn entirely from the mar ket. A Philadelphia scientist has discov ered that there is danger in the tubes of a phonograph. They are liable to communicate disease to the ears. This is marvellous! A canidate for office in a dirty city runs ten thous and more chances from contracting disease by hand-shaking than dees the curious citizen who listens at the back door of a monograph to the siory of the lamb which Mary had. It is safe to say that ninety-five out of every hundred people leaving a railroad car, or a street car i.ake hold of the side of the car door to steady themselves. Why is it that no scientist has inveighed against this practise as one involving the disem ination of disease? And there are the street cars themselves. If pho nographic ear-tubes are dangerous, what is to be said of the seats in our Third street cars? What is to be come of the man -who comb3 his hair with a hotel comb, and likewise the man who ges shaved in a public bar ber-shop? Or, for that matter, the man who kisses a pretty girl? Go to! Theie is more catarrh in this sec tion of the country than all other diseases put together and until the last few years was supposed to be in curable. For a great many years the doctors pronounced it a local disease, and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced it incurable. Science has proven catarrh to be con stitutional disease, and therefore re quires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional cure in the market. It is taken internally in doses of 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood and muc ous surfaces of the system. They of fer one hundred dollars for any case jit fails to cure. Send for circulars land -testimonials. Address. F. J." Citjeney &T Cd., "Toledo, 07 Sold by Druggists, 75c. THE RAILROADS. A Banana Eating Contest on the 51., IL & T. Notes of Interest. Among the passengers on the M., K. & T. train, which lelt this city Thiusday evening was 1. W. Adnm f w V i 4 tor on the M., K. & T.f and now run froni lesos, who i.a. I -ngoutof Galveston, Texas, on the is with a shipment of t i o r.i son, a cattleman been to fet. .Louis witn a hii stock and was on his way home with his pockets well lined with currency. Shortly after the train left Fort Scot' Adamson and the nevs agent on the train engaged in a lively talk about bananas, iu which Adarusui claimed that he could average for a few min utes a couple bananas a niiuute. This was a little more than the news agent could stand and he offered to wager the cattleman five dollars that he could not eat fifteen in fifteen minutes. No sooner had the agent flashed his five dollar note than the Texan covered it and the perform ance commenced. It was only of short duration, however, for in five and a half minutes Adamson had swallowed the last of the fifteen ba nanas and looked as though he might have taken fifteen more with ease. The news agent was fairly beaten and it is safe to say he will never risk an other "V on a bananaeatmg contest. C. W. Hall, telegraph line repairer of the K. & T., witnessed the con test and reports that it was one of the most laughable performances he had ever seen. Hall says there was a regular line of bananas going down that fellow's throat. RAILS AND TIES. E. B. Parker and JoeJBryson are at Ssveet Springs. Treasurer B. P. McDonald, of the M., K. & T., was in St. Louia yesterday. The shops were closed yesterday at 4 o'clock to allow the men t j cast their votes. -Will Ford has accepted a position in the passenger department of the M., K. & T. Freight engines 933, 946 and 955 were turned out of tiie shop3 iu good order yesterday. H. G. Spobr, au opeiatoriu the M., K.&T. offices, lei t for Kansas City yesterday afternoon. Arch Tanner, f the stationer department of the M., K. & T. rail way is visiting in St. Louis. Richard Anderson, of the yard office of the Missouri Pacific, returned yesterday morning from Texas. Dt-potmBster Carnes laid off yes terday to electioneer and his duties were attended to by E. Hoi land. Superintendent Stilwell went west on the fast mail train yesterday, but will spend the Sabbath at home. - With Messrs. Carnes, Blue and Bird all absent, there was nothb g home-like around the depot yester day. Conductor Ben BlyJhe, of the narrow gauge, laid off a trip yesterday and Conductor Miller took out the tiain. Six passenger coaches were dead headed to St. Louis to-night to bring an excursion party out on the road to-day. Tom West, Howe Waller, Lessee Farnham and Geo. B. Smith, of the freight department, will worship in Clinton to-day. W. W. Campbell, genera bagguge master for the M., K. & T., i -, n. l o. was looKiug alter Dusines3 m ot. Louis yesterday. Dick Barrett was a passenger to Sweet Springs yesterday afternoon, as wa3 L. J. Kelly, or the freight de partment of the M., K. & T. Conductor Jim Mallory, who was reinstated the past week, came in yes terday on his first trip since resuming work. Pat Shehan, the Missouri Pacific division read master, came down from Holden yesterday morning and returned on the afternoon train. Freight engine No. 159 ran into a caboose at Moberly yesterday. Some time W8S spent in regulating things, the damage oeing small, however. Pasesnger engine No. 281 struck an open switch at the Engineer street crossing yesterday, which threw it from the track. It was soon replaced. Kelles A. . Easley, the M., K. & X. oraKemen, is siu iaia up at nome with a sprained foot. It will be an other wees oeiore he can resume work. Mesars. McDonald, Hill and Hol- lister, of the M.,K. &T., received one vote each at yesterday's primary for coroner, constable and justice of the peace, respectively. Conductor Goddord brought 132 passengers out of Kansas City on the Lexington branch train that arrived here at 8:35 p; m. Of this number sixty-five were for Sweet Springs. The Missouri racihe has given notice of the opening of the Houston, Central Arkansas ez Northern road for businc-s. The road runs from j McGhce, Ark., to Riverside, La, a distance of 118 miles. The engine attached to M , K. &. T. train No. 4, due hero from the south at 10:40 a. ni., blew out her! cylinder head at Pryor Creek ester-! dav morning and did not arr.ve here until 12 o'clock. Parsons Journal. Chas Bawerfind, a former conduc- road, was in the citv lst night, on his i way to Canada, aud was accompanied by his wife. G. W. Cohen, of Fort Worth, Texas, advertising agent for the Fort Worth and Denver railroad, came ia frnm tlio cniifh FYulnv pvpninor with his wife. He entered Charlie Green's! carriage, was driven all over the city, took supper at Kaisers entertained several callers later in the evening, and left at midnight for St. Louis and New York. The management of the M., K. & T. has made an order which is giv ing the agents a lot of trouble. In the sale of passenger tickets blanks are furnished, and the agent is requir ed to ask the purchaser's name, des tination and residence. Most people give in the required information, but traveling men and some professional men reluse to say who they are, and call the agent pet names. Col. Chas. E. Miner, General Traveling Agent of the Mexican Cen tral, has returned from St. Paul. At a lake resort in that vicinity he was mistaken for a Chicago divine and was asked to conduct Sunday morn ing service in the hotel parlor. The Col onel blushed like a red ro3e, and while admittiug that he had not taken holv orders, promised to give a ten-minute address to young ladies and bachelors, pointing out the beauties of the Mexi can Ceutral route for honeymoons. The Adams Express Company has completed the first half century of iU existance. Fifty years ago Alvin Adams started a parcel express be tween Boston and New York, his sole outfit consisting of a carpet-hag, which he carried in his hand. To-day the company employs 20,000 men, 3,000 horses, 2,000 wagon?, audcover3 more than 25,000 milts of ra.lroad, reach ing every state and Territory in the Union, paying a handsome dividend on a capital of 612,000,000. ihe Vjhicago, lMiiwausee ana St. Paul has inaugurated a new sys tern of checking bagnage that is as convenient and desirable as it is novel By arrangement with a transfer com pauy the Milwaukee will check bag- g ge from the pr spective passengers own residence to the railroad desnna th n ppiut. This is a scheme that wil prove a great convenience to the traveling pub ic an 1 other roads will likely follow the example of the Mil waukee. H. H. Graham, pun'crin the M., K. & T. bridge and building de partment io this citv, wh'l at work ;:iu: ing switch targets on :h Sodalhi dm i .n ot ihe roan Wedn &day, was wrrome by she excessive heat and h:i io ubjndou his work. He was brought to his home in this city yes te dav morning, where medical attend aiice wa given him, and last evening h" wis able to be up and around, but s i I sulh rin to s mie extent from the effects of thesunstroke. Parsons Sun. Hj'llled u Horse. E. B. Pa ker's $125 horse wa3 raf fled at Moore's billiard parlor last night. A. 1. Drew, freight claim agent for v M., K. & T., won the animal o.t a throw of 40, the dice hav ing hptu ra tied for him by E.J Kn":ly, stenographer in Mr. Drew's office. Pat In an Elevator. Since adding an addition to his Sec ond street furniture establishment David Ram3ey has one of the hand somest storerooms iu Sedalia. He has put in an elevator, also, and now makes the trip from cellar to garret Without difficulty, x ou cannot keep a good man down. ffbeaBtby was rick, we gm.ro her Cwtoria. "When she was ChDd, abe cried for Cwtoria. When she became Xiw, she clung' to Cutoria. Wua. the bd Children, the yTe tbem Cutorfe ArraUe Blre Jatfge JFlsaer. Jas. Rowe, the second hand dealer, was arretted yesterday and taken be fore Justice Fisher to answer to the charge of having sold a coat pawned by Joe Marshall, colored, before the expiration of the sixty day3 required bv law. Marshall received twentv- five cents for the garment and was to I cadi for it in a few days later. He ' did 0. but the coat had been sold. ! Rowe has no license for carrying on a I pawn broking business, but it appears ' hfi lias Vipmi doing somethincr in t.hnr. line. He gave bond in the sum of $100 for his appearance next Thurs-. day, j 8 & for Infants Cast or I a is so well adapted to cbadren that T recommend itas superior to any prescription known to ne." If. A. Archer, M. D., Ill So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, 2?. Y. NOT A KICKER. The Man From Jefferson City Had Jfo Objections To Make. "Beastly weather, isn't it?" ob served a man who was hanging to a strap m a crowded electric yesterdav. "Weather suits me well enough," replied the man spoken to, who was clinging to another strap. i-r r i a- i i . -xoure not pwucuiar aoouj your weather I suppose, rejoined the oiuer, wigimv neiueu. , "ot at all. One kind is as good j as another to me. "Easily suited generally. Just as. hef stand up m a car as to sit down, ' ?v0DT . i- c Yes Just as hef. I "Am t particular about getting i your share of everything that's going! perhaps, if you haye to kick to get it?" "I'm not a kicker.'5 "Don't worry over things when they don't happen to come your way, I calculate ?" "Ain't worrying about anything." "Haven't made any fuss about tbe census in your town either, of course?" "Nary fuss." "And don't intend to, hey?" "That's correct. Don't intend to. Don't care a darn about the census." "Just so just so," mused the dis contented passenger. "Many other men in your town like you V "Hundreds of 'em." "Don't mind telling me where vou live?" "Just as soon tell you as not. I'm from Jefferson City, Mo." "That's the capital of the state isn't it?' "Yes; what's left of it." "Are there any other men from Jeff erson Ci'y aboard tlrs car?" "Don't see any." "Thank heaven !" And the man who sometimes kicked at things crowded to the other end of the car and put hi3 liTad out to get some fresh air. COL. DAWES' MISHAP. A Kich Scene Witnessed in the Swimming pool at Ex celsior Springs. A most amusing thing happened in the swimming pool at Excelsior Springs on the night of the Third regiment ball which put to flight a score of ladies and caused a gallant colonel much discomfiture. After the dance Gov. Francis, Col. Breathitt, radroa"! commissioner; Col. Bull, military inspector of the state: Adjt. Gen. Wickham, Col. A. C. Dawes, general passenger agent of the Chica go, Burlington & Quincy; Mr. Mills, of bt. Louis, and several other gentle men went in bathing with a score of ladies. All went gaily as a marriage bell, aud, all being good swimmers, a jolly time was being had. But amid tne noise ot splashing of water and screams of merriment as some luckless man was pushed off the platform into the water, came a faint cry iof help from Col. Dawes. "What's up, old man ?" cried the governor. "Come here a minute, l want you.' "Swim up here then, cried half a dozen, who were loath to leave the fun that was going on. Taking pity on the colonel, who is a very demure fellow and well-liked, half a dozen ladies ran up to him and proffered their services, which the colonel, amidst blushes that did him credit, gently but firmly declined, and he again called for the governor. The governor not coming, and the agoniz- ing look on the colonel's face being more than one of the ladies could bear, and she insisted that the coloDel tell her what was the matter, but by this time Mr. Mills had arrived on the scene. "What is it, old man; what can I do for you?" he inquired. Drawing Mr. Mills5 head to him, a and Children Caatoria cures Colic, Constipation, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea. Eructation, Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes aj- estion. Without injurious medication. Tux Centaur Company, 77 Murray Street, N. Y. I whispered word was sufficient to ex- plain the situation. "Can we help him T "Is he hurt?" Shall I call a doctor T formed a part of -the hundred questions asked by the anxious ladies who were alarmed at the aspect of Col. Dawes sitting motionless in water up to his neck. "No, ladies, there is no need for your calling a doctor, though you might call a needle and thread, but as it is I think vou had all better re- car,tireto the further end of the hall while the colonel gets out of the water. A nail in the platform has By this time there was a stampede , of the adies for tbe dressing room, j whence for five m'imxte, one long gcream 0f Jaughter came. By the aid)f a fiah.p.le the missillg trunks were found, and after threat- ening to issue a challenge in doe form ag ne reached the hotel Col. Dawes retired to his dressing room. Gossiper in K. C. Times. r i Dinwiddle complimented . A sample copy of the Sedalia Bazoo "published for the people now on earth'5 reached us this week. The editor, J. West Goodwin, that gentle voiced Missourian who wears "Uncle Sam's hat" and a linen suit summer and winter, writes up his trip to Bos ton witu the "boys" iu his own pecu liar way, which will beappreciated. Lebanon (111.) Journal. PUNISHED BY A DOG. A St. Louis HHSband Takes Noyel Kevenge on a Lothario. St. Louis, Mo., Aug. 1. Dr. Her man Fisher, a prominent physician living on the South side was the fam ily phy-ician of Ernest Betram for some time. Not long since he met Mrs. Betram at the house of a mutual friend and while there ma ie to her wh it she considered an indecent pro posal. She told her husband when she returned home. After waiting some time for the doctor's coming, Bertram, Wednes day night, so it is stated, went to Dr. Fisher's house with a large and fero cious Newfoundland dog. After he had gained admittance he ordered the brute to "take him." The command was obeyed and, springing at the doc tor, the dog lacerated his throat in a frightful manner. The doctor suffered still further from a thrashiug administered by Bertram in which he was aided by a pair of brass knuckles. Bertram then left the house. The doctor's condition is serious. 1 Pioaeer Democrat At Seat. Warrensburg, Mo., August 2. Z. H. Emmerson, one of the early Bet tiers of Johuson county, died at .his residence on Gray street yesterday morning. He settled in this county fifty years ago. In 1876 he was chosen by his party as the demo cratic candidate for sheriff, to which position he was elected for two terms. He made a good officer. He was for forty years a consistent member of the Baptist church. He was a native of Kentucky and 67 years old. He will be hurried to-morrow with Masonic honors. layer's Terrible Yengeaace. New Milford, Conn., August 2. Andrew Borjensen climbed upon a shed and broke into the house of Homer Bnckingham at North ville at 3:30 a. m. yesterday and cut the throat and horribly man gled the body of Emma Anderson, a domestic who promised in Sweeden last March to marry the mur derer, but had since refused him be cause he drank, The murderer cut his throat with the knife in the scuf fle, but it is not seriously hurt. He was captured in the woods by a crowd of citizens. J. F. Smith & Co., St. Louis, Mo. I have tried a sample of vour "Bile Beans" and am delighted with the re sults obtained. Please send to my ad- dress two Dottles tor which 1 enclose 50c. Thos. H. Cadling. Cincinnati, O.