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fHE SEDALIA WEEKLY BAZOO OCTOBER 27, 1891 THE DOCTORS. Re?. C. T. Brady Talks Them Up Iu a Very Able Manner last Night. Rev. C. T. Brady, rector of Calvary church, preached to the physicians banday night and hu discourse was an excellent one. The attendance was not large but was select. Only one physician who belongs to the Pettis county medical society was present One homeopathic devotee was pres ent, lie is not recognized by tbe medical society because the pills he uses are not "regular" eizs. Several apothecaries were on hand to learn bow to make jalap. Dr. binitu, a dental surgeon was there to see if the rector would tell how to extract a molar aDd allow the victim to stand sti'l and square on his pastern joints. The only doctors not represented were the honorable horse doctors and the villianous abortionists. The preacher read for his first les son from the Apocrypha, Eicleaias tess, XXXVII chapter. Speaking of the physician it says : "The Lord hath created him." That is correct, as he created all things. The medical colleges turn out car loads of new doctors every year who are loaded down with diplomas and wisdom. He don't have much hand in di plomas on sheep skin. His diplomas are in the countenances of Hisollow ers and in their good works. "All have a deep interest in those who are to administer to their wants when sick," said the preacher. That is a fact, especially when be presents his bill at 82 per visit. Ht. Luke and St. Paul were associ ated together in their good works and while St. Luke felt of the pulse and looked at the tongue, St. Paul in quired if they had been reading the KflTuqm City Sun and patronizing the bucket shop. In other words, while one looked after the bodily ill, the other inquired after the diseased - soul. It is ditterent, in a measure, now, Mr. Brady. The undertaker gener- erally gets in his work directly after tbe present at. liuke and betore tne latter day St. Paul has time to com pass the situation. "A physician,1' said Mr. Brady, "should be highly educated, a pol ished gentleman, a man thoroughly versed in his calling and one who loves his profession with the greatest devotion." A doctor who don t idolize bis pro fession could not cure the measles, jaundice, itch or the ills attendant upon a serious case of well directed love. "Peter's wife's mother lay sick of a fever," and Peter sent for a doctor auick: Now-a days when your mother-in law is sick, the doctor is about the last man sent for. If Doctor Carter were living, tbey would send for him. He was very slow, but an awful .clever man and attended the Salva tion army regularly. Mr. Brady said doctors should be poets, punters and preachers, with the love of God in their hearts. Wc don' think there is achy m the west that has as many praying doctors as Sedalia according to the -number. But as for painters they could not be trusted to paint a kitchen floor. As for writing poetry none have made a half a scholar even. Preaching wonldnot be just to their hand but none of the doctors in Sedalia would make a failure as single-footed exhorters. St. Luke and St. Paul were ship wrecked on the Mediterranean Sea in a boat of many tons burthen. It was aa awful disaster and the whole story was told in a few verses in theXXVH chapter of Acts. They were saved from watery graves by the aid of boards and broken pieces of the ship. If the latter day reporter had been assigned to write up the disaster he would have scooped St. Paul on the details aud occupied at least a page in a metropolitan journal, but the inci dents of the shipwreck has its lesson and the rector made the most of it in good applications. The preacher dwelt upon the igno rant doctor. He should not be toler ated in any community. The apothe caries present could have given Mr. Brady some good points on this subject. The doctor must, to be successful, a cheerful man, full of sympathy, kind and consoling words. No place in a sick, chamber for a long counte nance and solemn face. That is a grave fact, Mr. Brady. Tbe meat solemn faced man we ever knew was a doctor in Indiana. He borrowed four dollars of the writer and we never saw him afterward. We have worn a solemn face ever since when we thought of him. "Patience is a great virtue. A doc- tor must be a patient man" said the preacher, "and .wLen one kind of medicine does not restore to health, try another," he continued. That's what they generally do. If tbey don't think the person visited needs any drugs they will give him bread pills. "He presses the pulse" and nature "does the rest." As for trying different remedies, that is what they are compelled to do or take in their sign. They try everything in the materia medica except advertising in the columns of a newspaper of known circulation like the Bazoo. There is no salve for such an omission. "The most skilled physician cannot effect a cure without tbe help of Got. He is the Great Doctor who heals all" said Mr. Brady. "Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal," but we knew a reporter once who had a continuous case of "spring fever' and we think he wou'd have given heaven a hard pull to heal him, for a poor news item would out run him 100 feet in every 100 yards. The sermon was listened to very at tentively and tbe rectoi'a thoughts were well and effectively expressed. Next Sunday night he will talk to the lawyers. Billie Steele, George Longan, Col. Henry Lamm, John Caehman and all others should at tend. The rector should ssnd to Kansas and get Will Work Somebody Snoddy to hold up as a horrible ex ample of a lawyer, who always took everything his client bad unless it was fastened with a Yale lock and the key thrown in tbe cistern. ELECTRIC BIT! EES. This remedy Is becoming so well known and so popular as to Deed no special men tion. All who hare used Electric Bitters sing the same song ol praise. A purer medicine does not exist and it is guaran teed to do all that is claimed. Electric Bitters will cure all diseases of the Liver and Kidneys, will remove Pimples. Boils. Bait Rheum and other affections caused by impure blood. Will drive Malaria from the system and prevent as well as care all Malarial fevers. For care of headache. Consumption and Indigestion try Electric Bitters Entire satisiacuon guaranteed, or money refunded. Price 60 eta., and $1.00 per bottle at Mertz & Hale's Drag store. A BIT OF MISSOURI ROMANCE. Kansas City Star. The felonious termination of the case of the state of Missouri versus Colonel Richard Liddell recalls an episode of bygone interest of the peo ple of Western Missouri Ten years ago Colonel Liddell was a member of that brilliant staff which surrounded Colonel Jesse James, whose trusted friend and valued lieutenant be was. Colonel Liddell was a gentleman of fine personal presence and most en gaging manners despite the disagree able exigencies of his calling and the necessity of vigorous, even austere conduct. According to the legends of that period Uolonel Liiudell was accus tomed to penetrate into the towels of Kay county, where he was often thrown icto tbe societv of Colonel Wood Hite, another admirer and humble follower of Colonel James. It must be understood that Colonel Liddell was a "divil of a fellow the ladies" per reason of the romantic nature of his vocation and the acknowledged charm of his address. One day so the legend runs Colonel Liddell and Colonel Hite were discussing in a somewhat heated way the merits and demerits of a certain nymph, whose identity has not been established, and from argument rapidly proceeded to the more effective use of firearms. Colonel Liddell had already perforated Colonel Hite once or twice in a convincing manner, when Colonel Robert Ford, who was an interested spectator of the debate, wearied of the apparently friendly discussion and put two bul lets into Colonel Hite's head. As Colonel Hite thereupon evinced a disinclination to continue the argu ment Colonel Liddell and Colonel Ford took him out and buried him, and from that moment de cided that they were bound together by a tie more enduring than the ordinary bond of friendship. This was in February, 1832, or thereabout In April of the same year Colonel Ford resumed his pistol prac tice. As Colonel James was hanging pictures one day in his cozy home in St, Joseph but why repeat a story which is now a part of the romantic literature of Missouri ? After Colonel James had been laid away with im pressive ceremonies near the old fam ily villa in Clay county, it became necessary for the state of Missouri to take formal action respecting the dis appearance of Colonel Hite. In view, however, of the distinguished public services of Colonel Ford, abetted by the earnest moral support of Colonel Liddell, the state of Missouri was iu au awkward predicament. It was rea soned that Colonel Hite was a danger ous menace to tbe morals of society and that his death, far from being an evidence of crime, was a great public blessing and a token of providential interposition. Accordingly Colonel Ford was released with a warn ing to use proper care in tbe subsequent employment of firearms. Colonel Liddeli's case was distinguished by the rapidity TO PURIFY BLOOD CURE : DYSPEPSIA. Liver aadKMaay TNUIM. ml all Malarial PI rders, tafcs that old tm mmiaxaat wraderfal csteacy, Hoofland's , G erman Bitter. $1.00 kr Bottle, six for $5.00. JOHNSTON, HOLLOWAY & CO., Bfcllarfalahla. which characterizes criminal iurispru dence in Missouri, and was finally set- tied a day or two ago. Colonel .Lid dell was running a string of horses in tbe east, and was naturally indignant that he should be called upda to make a long and tedious journey to answer to so simple and inconsequential charge. He was measurably soothe ) nowever, wnen upon arrival the case was dismissed with proper apologies. The romantic story of Colonel Lid dell will live long after the colonels of the great storm and stress period of Missouri's chivalry have passed away It is not to the diminution of Colonel Liddelrs future fame that he is run ning a string of horses in the east, cor to the peril of Colouel Ford's glory that he occasionally vends drinks in the far west Their nlace in history is assured along with their great captain, who sleeps quietly near tbe battlefields and the railway tracks or ciay county. ABE YOUR CHILDREN SUBJECT TO CROUP. As a preventive and cure for croun Chamberlain's Cough Remedy has no 7 1 T. . . . . nvai. it is, in tact, the only remedy mat can always be depended upon ana mat is pleasant and sate to take Tl i.l t . . . -mere is not me least danger in giving it to children, as it contains no injurious substance. For sale at . 50 cen's per bottle by Aug. T. Fleisch mann, druggist. Lent. The name of the springtime term of fasting is explained by the fact that our Saxon forefather? called the month of March 'Lenet-monat'Mength-month (from the lengthening of the days); ana wncn tney received Christianity, and consequently therewith tho an cient christian custom of fasting tho fast of Lenct, because of the Lenet- monat, wherein the most part of this fasting always felL Bicklen's Arnica Salve. The Best Salve in the world for Cuts, cruises, cores, uicers, bill Kbem, fever Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hand, Chilblains, urns, ana ail nxin eruptions, and poti ."vely cures Piles, or no pay required. It guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. FOB SALE BYMekbaHaijc. BALLARD'S SNOW LINIMENT. This Liniment is different in compoait ion from any other Liniment on the mar ket. It is a scientific discovery, which results in its being the most penetrating Liniment ever known. There are numer ous white imitation!:, which may bs recom mended because thty pay the seller i greater profit. Beware of those and de mand Ballard's Snow Liniment It posi tively cures Rheumatism. Neuralgia, Cats, Sprains, Braises, Wound, Sciatic and Inflammatory Rheumatism. Burns. Scalds, Sore Feet, Contracted Muc!e, Stiff Joints, Old Sores, Pain in Back, Barb Wire Cuts, Bore ULest or inroat ami is especially benefic.al in Paralysis. Sjld by Win. Bard. Will the Earth's) Motion Cease. Is tho motion of our earth and oth er planetary bodies perpetual? A su perficial survey of the field would con vey the impression that such motion will continue forever. The earth with its mass of 8.000.000,000,000.000 tons for a long time defied all attempts to detect its loss of speed, but, with tho friction of the tides continually at work it was shown that such loss must take place, and now it is protty cer tain from calculations of Prof. Adams and others that the earth loses about an hour every 16,000 years, and is slowly but surely coming to a stand still. The experiments and investi gations of modern scientists nro prov ing that Sir Isaao Newton believed that the motion of all bodies in space are suffering retardation, and that their velocity is becoming less and less and will ultimately aenso altogeth er. Then the whole planetary system will fall through space everlasting. St. Louis Republic. A MOTHER'S MISTAKE. Mothers frequently make a mistake in neglecting the Cough of a child. A Fort Wayne, Iod.,lady writes: My little daugh ter 6 years old had a severe Cough but aa it was noting unusual I thought nothing of it.and allowed it to run on 4 or 5 weeks, when it became si obitinate she began losing flesh. I called in a physician who treated her three weeks without benefit. A neighbor insisted upon my trying Ballard's Horehonnd Syrup; it relieved her from the first dose and she began gaining flesh rapidly, when we had used two bottles her Coogh had entirely disappeared. I would not be without it. It does not constipate my children, Ballard's Horehonnd Syrnp Ls free from Opiates. It's the most sooth ing Throat and Lung medicine in the woild. Price 50c and SI 00. Sold by OvenUeet & Williams. . PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE. Stw York World. The chief issue before the People's party Just at present appears to be : Shall Sockless Jerry Simpson drink champagne ? Sore throat came to Candidate Allen's rescue in Massachusetts. Can't "that tired feeling" help Fassett out in New York ? McCIung seems to be a great name in football circles this year. At least two college teams have Mc Clungs they are proud of ; and as for lungs, tbere never was such a game to develop them. Gladstone pays but little atten tion to doctors and in some respects is very reckless of bis health. Me is often seen out of doors without any overcoat at limes when the wind seems cold aud raw to a younger man But he rarely takes cold. Senator John Sherman's auto graph collection is kept in a fireproof vault at Mansbeld. Collectors are eager for it. Foraker's contains the most valuable "autograph" to Demo crats m all Uhio. It is the forged signature of Uov. Campbell to tbe ballot paper. The engagement of the Czar's oldest eon is announced. When bis oldest shall be married she will have for one of her wedding gifts the su perb set of opals the Czarina of Alex ander IL wore, "just to prove they weren l unlucky." Perhaps their ill omen tell on the peasantry. WORTHY OF A TRIAL. If you are troubled with rheuma tism or a lame back, bind on over the seat of pain a piece of flannel damp ened with Chambertain's Pain Balm. You will be surprised at tbe prompt relief it anords. ou cent bottle for sale by August T. Fleischman, Drug gist. NEWSPAPER HUMOR. The more cufis you give a laun- drvman the better he likes it Pitts burg Dispatch. It is astonishing how debts will expand after being contracted. Binghamton Republican. It seems cruel to sue a campaign liar tor libel, it looks like discoura ging enterprise. Columbus Post. Man's wishes are not all wants. He does not need half as much as he prays for. Galveston News. -The Lick telescope shows 100,- 000,000 stars but a lick without a telescope frequently does as well. Chicago Tribune. - "No." sighed Buffins. "the doctor doesn't know a thing absut my case. pe is regular diagnostic. Wash ington Star. Facetious Tourist Is it true that your canton is full of idiots ' Merry Swiss .feasant xes, sir, in Bummer, But they don't stop long. Zumatt. .Liove is a sickness and marriage tbe convalescent period, xou have heard, no doubt, that people are crosses! when they are getting well. Atchison Globe. When it is remembered how slowly but with crushing effect the glaciers move, it is not difficult to believe that the "tooth of time must be grsnder. Lowell Courier. MILES' NERVE AND LIVER PILLS Act on a new principle regulating the liver, stomach and bowels through the errea. A new discovery. Dr. Miles' Pills speedily cure billioosness, bad taste, torpid Hirer, piles, constipation. TJn- equaled formen, women, children. Small est, mildest, surest 1 50 doses, 25 cents. Samples free, at A. T. Fleischman's. Wm. H. Powell, President John D. Crawford, Vice-President Adaai Ittel, Cashier. Wm. H. Powell, Jr., Aas't Caahia Citizens' National Bank, SEDALIA, MO. Cash Cnital. Fail ii $101,010.60. SlDllJFul 35.000.0f A general basking- basinet tranracted. Collections reeeif prompt attention. Liberal at eesoaatlons to depositors. 3DIZV.SOVOaEl.asl. W. H. Powell. JohnlJ.Yeater 8.H. Beiler, W.RBard, J. D. Crawford, W. T. Hutcbinsoa, Xi. . Parberrr, J. W. reruns, Frank B. Merer. sarAWYLADY can ret a valnaMc fecret that Mr. V. M. APP. CO. 118 K. 8th HTKKET. ST. LOUIS. MO. 4 Braa. rENNYROYAL PILLS rtdulasJeKlrenalM. an. lwsn HUbk uoiStV DnnU ar Ckutmutt jnuU m. anus ha ttaa AM. Tak w alar awitnMftou inUWimwi. AiDraBMoaaiai V Han, immimimUi. Mmmttmrn. C 1 1 h mmd ii fliw 1 1 T C-U4I t,atflMlcaajlK. ffsalataajtw CLAIRE N.K.FAIRBANK&CO. ST. LOUIS. Irwttwfch lB mate cktes as vAfe as tie sun W fiish your writ as sonl ashmai I CUURETTE soap M tm mjmyit sOflpw WmJLmmmmmmmmmmmmfLmmm Trumbo & Mc Roberts, 116 OSAGE STREET , Are sole agents for the world renowned ACORN OVER 1,000,000 IN USE. Agents for the celebrated "BAKER PRRPTSfiT" Tei, nr: ti. strongest light weight wire made. oaru that is licensed, lou are protected against all litigation that threatens every user of unlicensed wire. The wembt nf farmers can load their goods without by electric cars. Large Stock of General Hardware, Tinware & Cutlery Remember Tbe Place, Two THIRD NATIONAL BANK SEDALIA, 110. J. N. Daibt, Praadlaat, A. P. Moan Vice-Preaideat. B. H. Moss. , Cashier. W, H. Yam Waohzb, Teller. Ca.Ital, - - . . S10O.O00.Of Sirplu ui niiri- Yiwed prelt, - 30,OOO.Ot This Baak dots a general Baakiag Bosi aets and solicits the aecoaata ei cermora tioaa, inu aad iadividualt. Draws tight drafts oa all principal citi of Earope aad other Foreign couatriis. DIBECTOBS. Jaa. Glass, Morris Harter, J. N. Dalby, J. H. Merts, HemaaKakza, B. H. Motet, N. H. Gentry, Sam MM&WJT Eenrr Mahakea C. E.Heterly, A. P. Moray, Chat. W.Mc A timet F. E. Hoftmaa, Judge Warn. Boeker D. W.McClure, tCGold. B. H. Mom. Cathier. FUST NATIONAL BAM, SEDALIA, MO. Paid Up Caoital $250,000 Surplus 20,000 BANKING HOUSE, Corner Uhio and Second Sts. Cya-wa Hewklrk, PreaJtfemt. J. C. TlMtiBMoa, Catakler. r. H. dsteather, Asa't Cashier OTOR8: C. Newkirk, F. H. Guenther, Jso.T.McClure, J. C. Thompson, J. K. Uakrett, a. W. WOOD, E. A. Philips. tsT'Trsnsacta a general banking busi ness. Accounts cl banks, bankers, mer chants and individuals solicited. Prompt attention given to all business entrusted to them. The Old Reliable BT.lUHTIS.lfaL SDCdal attention f Itrra to all diseases or troubles tn male namea or Hnrie, Dronjcni aooat d ana. a wsena orimpropnwwa THE OLD flfATAJ OfXyears'succesafal w... experience, our bt coamllea bj milL or ai thm offlct, free of charra. MTIMMh, Skinful TnatmuitGwmhmU Board and aaartatnts famlabed to those wbs 6mn personal care. ad V. O. itamp (or cinr Un.aU. FREE fin NorrcrasDcbnJtr. lost VltaDty. TBI AL IWcakncss and Decar. sent Oca bt 12 eta. postage. Address letters. Br.Warc Met. 1 17 M. 8 la Street. St Ltti.Btt THB OLD DOCTOR'S V LAMES FAVORITE. ALWAYS BTTTJaBT.K aad perfectly BATE- Th aaae ae cmkI by thousands of woman all oTor Ihm United 8tatea. lntno OLD DOCTUBS prvrate null praettoe. for 9S yrara. and not a single bad recult. atoney returned it not as repreacnted- Bend 4 cents ( stamps) tor sealed particulars. Br. WARS CO., 1 17 N. 8th St. ST, LOWS. HO. TIE-SMI a fc fat vvil do it, it you met wil rue if. STOVES. EVERY STOVE WARRANTED. o The only wire with a diamond pointed fear of having tbeir teams frightened Doors North of Market House. SEDALIA BOILER PIS. All woik in our line done promptly by the best skilled workmen. Satisfaction guar anteed or no pay. Address all orders or communications to Sedalia Boiler Works, 410 East Main St Sedalia, Mo. FORD & SMITH, 8-3dfcwlm Proprietors. THE PLACE TO GO For first-class dental work. Go to T. T. MAJOR, 810 Ohio street, 8edalia, Mo. Artificial . th a specialty. Insure a perfect fit, like appearance and mechanical ex rtion. Tetb extracted without pais with gaa and vitalized air. 3-lSwly Bank Counters, Tyler System, Perb able, Unequaled in Styles, Cost and Finish. lit rase Cslslatse or Caseins, testa sts,, tsssfeatslla Cahra. fsia, Two restate Ufrata, AISO TJMTS JUTBS Osjee Beaks aad Type writer Cmblaets. ) Styles. Best and cheap est on eartn. with great redaction la prices. ixe ease aaulssas FMe. FMsie 11 rU. rJu Ban at Ms, Caalra. Taelss, te Casts, CssJsrta, Ucal tlssS Caslarts, ale,, afesjs la slack. SsmUI a a suaa la 9r4T TTLB BaKCOSt.XMla.Xe.t17.av.A. READ THIS! SEXONEKVE tte greet TnTklsh Bemedy, enret Nerrooa DebUlty.WakefaiDeaa. TIU1 ; naosaoo. ixMaes. wcatne arm, Lost ManhooiL It II Dreamx.Uulcknrat anil all wasting dlseasea oansod by Errors of Youth and Excesses, vhicsi load to constBsptloa, la sanity and saldde. Fat op In condensed form to carry la tha pocket. Price It per box or comDleto treatment of six boxes with Written Caaraatee fcrtS. Sent poet-paid In plain packase to any atldresa. Circulars free la plain envelops. All letters private and confidential. When wrttasfi "mBBSnSXii MEDICAL ASS'N. Solo Agent Zot uearDom aa.. t,ni uibu, ils. FOR 8AT.E IS SEDALIA. MO- Aug. T. Flelschnunn, Cor. 4th and Ohio SU. WANTED. eaehday. Salary or com. SIO camples tree. Ad. I. StSJAlOJI 0, 1X8 S. 8ti St. 87. ICTO, Sf. MEN ml 1 Taaiaa.