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Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, October 02, 1902, Image 3

Image and text provided by State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn90061309/1902-10-02/ed-1/seq-3/

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Martial Ave,
Maraton, Mara.
I lrniilrl answer the late onerr
Hon I like your "Puttoti's hun-I'mof 1 "
-Uh, I tlilnk It excellent I
I wae first resolved to use It
When It made i he inn so bright
aihi a uuiiH my reioiuiion
w ni not very rar from if; lit.
All my nnlncri and mansions
i nave painted with your paint
Anu it makes uirm look s rliiccly
That I offer no complaint.
It will .land all kinds of weather
Kasy Is It to apply,
t or it covers lots more surface
And 'twill very quickly dry.
Ilut the feature of all features
That does seem to tickle me
Is that all your paints are covered
With a Ave year guaranty.
no, you see, I've naught nut praises
Upon which I've no constraint,
for your excellent uroductlons
itnonu us "t'aiion'i suu-r roof faint."
Yonn truly,
King of the Mnrt Inns.
Send for book of l'alut K nowleilge and Advice, Free,
Milwaukee, Wis.
J. J. Fitzpatrich,
strangling our good impulses,
we may read of those who have
given their labor and their
lives to help their fellow creat
ures, and so shame ourselves to
higher thinking and more un
selfish d oing. 0. S Marden, in
the October "Success."
Low colonist rates via M. K.
&T. K'y. dally during Sep tern
ber and October. Tourist
Sleeping Cars, leaves Si. Louis
Tuesdays at 8:32 p m. Leave
Kansas City Thursdays at 9:45
p. m. See the "Katy Man"
and yet particulars.
Home Visitors' Excursion Via Wabash
Sept. 2nd. 9th, 16tll and 23rd.
one fare plus two dollars for
the round trip. To all points
in Indiana and Ohio located on
and east of Vandalia R. It..
South Bend to Terre Haute ami
the E. & T. H. R. R. m Evans
ville and west of and including
Sandusky, Columbia, Dayton,
Springfield and .Cinciu..ati,
Ohio, aud Louisville. Ky.
Tickets limited to 30 days
from date of sale
October 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th.
One fare for the round trip.
Toall points in the following
territory: Toall points on and
east of the line of the Illinois
Central R. R. Evansville to
Deep tor; Wabash R. R. Decntor
to Lo transport ; Vandal in Line
Logans-port to South Bend; and
Indiana. Illinois & Iowa R. R.
to St. Joseph. Mich, and fol
lowing territory east thereof:
All points west of and includ
ing, Toronto. Buffalo. N. Y
Erie and Pittsburg. Pa.. Wheel
ing. Parker burg and Charleston.
W. Va.. and r orth of. and in
cluding. Line of Chesapeake &
Ohio By., Louisville. Ky.. to
Kenova. W. V.. and B. & O R.
R., Cenova to Wheeling W. Va.
Ticket Limited to Nov 3rd
for rei urn trip.
For further information a pply
to nearest Ticket Airent, or ail
dress H. E. Watts
Passenger and Ticket Agent,
Moberiy, Mo.
No Cause for Alarm
Rev. Brown, a man of less
than medium stature, possessed
faigh, squeaky voice.
Not long ago he was invited
to exchange pulpits with a
minister in a neighboring city.
The church in which he was to
preach was much more impos
ing than the home chapel.
Arriving early,- he peered
from behind the pulpit and
watched what he considered an
immense congregation.
As the las', notes of .he organ
voluntary died away his little
bead popped up from behind
the (Sleek, and without a word
of warning lie piped out. 'lt is
L be not afraid. r September
The Sun as a Timepiece.
In a Georgia justice court a
colored witness was asked to
name the time a difficulty oc-cured.
'Hit wuz In fodder pullin'
time, suh," he replied.
"You don't understand me."'
said the judge. "1 mean what
time was it by the clock?"
"Dey warn't no clock dar,
suh," said the witness
'Well, by the sun, then?"
"Now," exclaimed tne witness
triumphantly, "sence you hez
come right down ter business
I'll tell you plain. Ef de sun
had been ashinin' bit would er
been 'bout two hours en a half
by sun. but ez de sun didn't
show his face 'tall dat day I
icou'dn't say fur Bar tin des what
'time hit wuz!" Altanta Con
Books Are Insurance Policies
Books are insurance policies,
fully paid, and can be cashed at
any time. They insure against
loneliless, for in a moment we
can, in our mind's eye, call in
the most delightful company ol
all the ages We can revel in
the drollery of Sam Weller, or
laugh at Mr Pickwick; hear
Tom Sawyer recount his liveli
est exploits, or smile iudulgent
ly at garrulous Diedrich Knick
erbocker. If in a tender mood,
we may roam with gentle griev
ing Evangeline in search of her
lest lover, or let our hearts stir
in sympathy with little Nell.
If ife seems tame and common
p'ace, oil e bookshelf has the
policy that provides for
emergency. With Homer
may follow the deeds of
mighty ancient warriors.
may flee to a lonely isie
Rejections of a Bachelor.
The biggest and ugliest mi
crobeofall lives in the stolen
Some men's way of getting
the devil behind them is by
chasing him around the stump
and going slow.
If the average man isn't wor
rying around all the lime about
his house his wife thinks he is
getting reckless.
A woman never gets to be so
sure of her husband's love that
she doesn't look hard at all the
pretty woman he bows to.
A woman generally doesn't
find out that her husband has
come home out of temper lor
ten minutes after the cat has
hid under the stove.
A girl that doesn't naturally
like to be kissed has no morals
to speak of.
A woman judges a man by
the clothes he wears and anoth
er woman by the clothes she
knows she's got
Every woman has an idea
that if she only tried she could
cry in a way t':at would melt a
heart ot stone.
A woman's love has two
stages. In the fi-st she wor
ships the man most as a hero;
in the next she calls him
It's almost as funny to hear
a thin woman talk about
Swinburne as it is to hear a fat
woman talk about her soul.
New York Press.
Miss Cora Settle was visiting
friends in Shelbina Sunday.
A drunken man staggered in
church one Sunday and sat
down in the pew of one of the
deacons. The preacher was
discoursing about prevalent
popular vices. Soon he ex
claimed: "Where is the drunk
ard? The drunken man was
justfar enough gone to think the
call personal, so rising heavily,
replied: "Here I am," and re
mained standing while the
drundard's character and fate
was eloquently portrayed A
few minutes later the preacher
reached another head in hisdis
course and asked, "Where is
the hypocrite?' Gently to his
neighbor, the drunkard said, in
an audible whisper. "Stand up
deacon, he means you this time.
Stand up and take it like a man
just as I did, it will do you
good." Ex.
Is Your Life Worth SO Cents.?
We defy the world to produce f
medicine for the cure of all froms of
Kidney and Bladder troubles, Pilee
and all diseases peculiar to women
that will equal -iimth'g Sure Kidnej
Cure. Ninety-eight per cent, of the
cases treated with Smith's Sure Kid
ney Cure that have come under our
observation have been cured. We
sell our medicine on a positive
guarantee, if directions are followed,
and money will be refunded if cure is
not effected. Price "0 cents and $1.00.
For sale by J. J. Fi'zpatrick.
! American potterv manufac
turers are discussing a plan for
the construction of a special
building, at the World's Pair,
appropriate in design and of
ceramic materials so far as pos
sible, in which to install every
thing in the line of clay manu
Upton Miller, a retired farm
er seventy years old living at
Mt. Morris, III., has made two
articles of inlaid furniture, a
bureau and washstand. the first
containing over 8,000 pieces of
wood, the other 5,000 pieces
which he intends to exhibit at
the World's Pair.
The Arizona World's Pair
Commission has applied to the
United States Government for
permission to take from petri
fied forests of that territory
such specimens as will give a
proper idea of the beauty and
value of the petrified trees, to
be a part of the Arizona exhib
Mississippi will aim to show
at the World's Fair specimens
of everything manufactured,
grown or produced in the state.
The appropriation is $50 000
and Col. R H Henry the com
missioner is making a thorough
canvass of the State with til
view of having Mississippi plac
ed in her best form before the
millions of visitors at the
World's Pair.
The Burlington Route will renew
the cheap one-way Settler i' ratoa
every day during BtpWlutwr and
'October, 1!)02, to Montana. Idaho,
Washington, Oregon and California,
I such as $30. from St. Louis, and $2"
from .Missouri Rivir pointi, to Cali
fornia, Portland and Puget Sound
territory, with correspondingly low
rates to Spokane District and the
Butte-Helena District.
Proportionate rates from interior
western points.
During certain periods of August
and September the Burlington will
make such remarkably low flrgt olass
round trip rates to Denver. Colorado
Springs and Pueblo as $21 from St.
Louis and 110 from the Missouri
River, good all summer: at other
periods only one fare .plus $2.
Home visitors' excursions to points
in Ohio and Indiana: dates of sale
September 2d, 9th, ltith and 23; limit
80 days.
First and third Tuesdays of August,
September and October to many sec
tions of tiie West and North it.
Hound trip tielcets with 21 days
Consult your nearest ticket agent
or write us of your proposed trip
and let us advise you thfl least OOlt
tend you oar publications ami other.
wise assist you.
General Agent, Ger.'l Passi nner Ajen
Hannibal, Mo. St Louis, Mo.
C. it. LEVEY, Geu'l Manager,
St. Louis. Mo
An exchange remarks: "All
men do not receive their just re
ward.'' It is the business of
lawyers to avert such a' mis
fortune, and were it not for
them many men who are now
enjoying uninterrupted freedom
would to day be doing duty for
the state as convicts. Such fel
lows are in no hurry about re
ceiving "their just reward" it
is something they do not want.
W. H. Gilstrapof Tacoma.
Vashington, is planning to
paint a series of historical
pictures for display at the
Louisiana Purchase Exposition
of 1904, as well at the Lewis
and Clark Exposition at Port
land, Ore , in 1905. Tbey will
relate principally to the great
expedition of Lewis and Clark
which followed the Louisiana
Purchase and the important dis
coveries in the far northwest
which resulted from that expe
"Follow The Flan."
The amateur
buds it difficult
ever handy Robinson Crusoe,
sail under seas with Captain
Nemo, share the romatic sav
agery of Hiawatha or the last
of the Mohicans, or unravel
mysteries with Sherlock
Holmes. If friends disappoint
us, we may -turn lo those that
are ever constant in the pages
that have grown dear to us, or
we may reassure our doubts of' Yesterday a merchant called
human faithluluess by reading J the editor into his store and
about Damon and Pythias, or : carried us through his stock of
Penelope. Insurance against i goods and when we had exam
discouragement is found in the lined them asked us to matte
lifi of George Washington, mention of the fact that his
.... FOH . .
New York. Niagara Falls. De
troit. Toledo, Omaha. Council
Bluffs. St. Paul and all points
north, east and west.
Though Chair Cars (seats
free) and Buffett Sleeping Cirs,
Kansas City and Moberiy to
New York. Dettoit. Dcs Moines
and St Paul and Omaha; ami
St. Louis to Chicago, buffalo
New York and Boston
Compartment Sleeping Car
between St. Louis and Kansas
Magnificent Dining Cars be
tween St. Louis and the east.
Fine road bed elegant equip
ment and fast time.
Abraham Lincoln. Fred Doug
lass, or Booker T. Washington,
any ot whom conquered more
fail stock had arrived. As we
wete leaving the express agent
came in the store with a large
than can possibly confront us i package of printed stationery
If we are listless and itidiffer which the merchant had ordered
eut, we have but to open a from a St Louis printer. Cou
book m the history ot the deeds 'siste cy. you are a jewel, you
of olden heroes
tightening coll
If we feel the are a daisy, you are hell. Sul
of selfishness phur Springs Gazette.
gardner often
to decide as to
the time when winter protect ioii
should be given his plants.
Scmetimes we have pleasant
weather until late in tne fall,
and we put off this worn from
day to day, thinking they would
be injured by covering inem
while warm weather lasted.
All at oncecold weather comes
and finds our plants wh ly un
prepared for it. We at once
set about doing toe work that
ought to have been uone before
but whatever is don under un
pleasant conoitions i- likely to
be poorly done and the result
of neglect is quite apparent
when spring comts. We are en
tirely sate in counting on cold
weather the first of November
and we would advise yetting
inlants ready for winter at that
time. It is so late in the season j
! that no harm will be done by it
I if the weather cdntinue- mild. j
Choose a pleasant day for this j
I work, if possible, and do it
leisurelv. that it may be well,
done. It doesn't pay to hurry
it. for hurry means half doing!
what vou undertake Lipp n
cott's September Magazine.
Mrs. Mary M. Carrico. of Bal
'timore, Nld., is the guest of Mrs
O. Y. Green this week.
G. P. & T. A.
St. Louis
P.&T. A.
tee to Locate?
Why in ihe territory traverse 1 by the
Louisville &
Kentucky, Tennessee, Ala
bama Mississippi and Florida
Farmers, fruit Growers.
Stock Raisers. Manufacturers.
Investors. Speculators,
and Money Lenders
will till'! the greatest chances in tlio U.
8. to make Mr money by reason III the
abundance mi l cheapuess ot
Land and Farms Tlmbrr and Stone
Iron and Coal Labor IS at) ihlng
free Kites, financial assistance nd free
dom frim taxation for the manufacturer.
Land and farms at II 00 per wre and up
warda and M0,rlO acres In west Klorlde
that can betaken gratis under the U. 8.
Homestead laws.
Stock raising In the . i Coast District
will make enormous profits.
Half tare excursions Ota first and third
Tuesdays el each month.
Let ut know what you want aud we wiU
tell you where and how to tret It-but doat
delay as the country Is lining up rapidly.
Printed matter, maps and all informa
tion free. Address,
0.e..al la r. ouslrlal Ages.

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