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get exactly what you pay for when you trade with me. And
when I sell you a Stickney Engine, every dollar you give me works overtime. 3 25333 EXCLUSIVE B. BRISTOW Hi- We Do F irst-Class Work' And the way you want it in Haircuts, Shaves, Shampoos, Massages and. all other work of a first-class shaving parlor. Y our bath is waiting. Try us once. STREAN & SON. Just a Few Fables. ! In the older days when it was j generally conceded that the boy i who didn't get his jacket dusted j with a rod about once or twice a week would in all probability final ly wind up in the penitentiary, a red headed boy attended school in one of the rural districts. The instruc tor was a large raw boned man who had health and muscle to spare. Little William made a few bad breaks according to the rules laid down by the large muscular teacher and as a result he got his to the 1 extent that the rear portion of his j person was sore for several days. i Little William looked the teacher over carefully and registered a secret vow that in the days to come j when he grew to husky manhood. he would lick that teacher until his nearest relatives would have great difficulty ia recognizing him. Many of the boys made similar resolves but with most of them they forgot it soon afterward. With little William however, it was dif ferent. The years rolled on but he didn't forget. Ten years passed. He hadn't seen the large raw boned teacher since the close of that eventful term of school. William was now 23 and considered himself enough of a man to pound the whey out of that teacher if he should ever meet him. One day he heard that the raw boned teacher had 'gone to farming out in Kansas and he journeyed out of his way to see him. On the road he considered how far he ought to go in the way of revenge. He de cided that it would be about right to smear the teacher's nose over his face, black both eyes and kick him a few times in the slats by way of stirring up his remembrance, but he didn't want to inflict permanent injury on his former instructor. When he found his old-time pre ceptor that individual was pitching hay up to the hired man who was on the stack. It occurred to Wil liam that there weren't any partic- ular signs of age or decrepitude in the movements of the hay pitcher but just the same he had come a number of miles to lick him and proposed to do it. He jumped lightly over the fence and made himself known to the farmer man.; I have come, said William, to j Telephone Co. have a large force of fulfill a vow Jmade 10 years ago j men at work in this city rebuilding when you tanned me, a boy at your ! their Telephone system. Every school. You may as well prepare j thing is to be new and up-to-date, yourself to take a licking for have I About 20,000 feet of cable will be come a hundred miles for the ex press purpose of giving you one." ' ' "A bad resolve, young man, is better broken than kept," said the farmer as he stuck his fork in the You can 't get somethingor noth ing, neither can you get a gasoline engine for less than its worth. You AGENT ETi Monroe City, Mo. pa I ground. "I don't exactly remember what I flailed you for, but I have no doubt it was coming to you. However, I hold no grudge against you now. It would be better to call this thing off, take dinner with me and talk over old times." This mild talk however, didn't cool the ire of William. He con cluded that he had his former teach er buffaloed and pulling off his coat and vest told the farmer man that it was no use to try to talk him out of it as he had made a vow and in- tended tokeep it." Well, young man." said the farmer man, "if your heart is set on this thing I suppose you may as well have it out now. The hired man wants a little rest anyway." At the second'oass the ex-teacher who had an arm like the rear limb of a mule, hit William on the point of the chin and when he finally awoke from his dreamless slumber the hired man was pouring water on him out of a jug and his former instructor was fanning him with his straw hat. When his power of speech returned to him and he got able to sit up and take notice of the surrounding scenery, William re marked dreamily. "It appears to me that I was too hasty. I should have waited 10 years longer." If you have a grudge in your sys tem it is wise to forget it. Mail and Breeze. ' Remember how we sometimes cut our wheat and oats with a cra dle? Plowed the corn with a sin gle shovel? Tramped out the grain and let the wind blow out'the chaff? Turned the prairie sod and made a hole in it with an ax to plant the corn? Remember the team of oxen we hitched to the plow? Plowed from one acre to one and a half a day? Drove your hogs fifty miles to market and then 'sold them for less than three cents a pound? Kept your hogs till they were two years-olds before they would fatten? Remember how we used to shock our hay? If you are sixty you can remember all these things and ! many more like them. Contrast , that with today and see if you do not feel sorry for the poor fellow who knows it all about farming and that nothing new can be found out. Times. Tne Missouri &. Kansas (Bell) erected and a latest pattern .switch board installed. When completed Monroe can boast of one of the best Telephone systems of any towa of ', her size in Missouri The Local Paper. ; Big Odd Fellow Event The Doylestown (Pa.), Intelli-; Emmett Hallock and Wm. Wads gencer comments on the suspen worth attended the big 0M Fellows sion of the publication of thei6Vent at Parig on Tuesday of last Macungie (Pa.). Progress, insisting ,week The following from the that tne companion 01 meiropon-;Mercury tan papers ought never be enough to put a local newspaper out of business. It says, among other ings. e grea newspapers arej ij 1 . nu 1 . wuuu Hi liiigc, auuuuK'i lending 111 a degree to the city in which they are published. They do not pub lish any extended news of the: country districts, except there be something sensational in the news and then they send tlieir special correspondents who secure a few facts upon which they generally: fabricate a story those who know) the situation scarcely recognize.) The metropolitan newspapers arej not interested in the country or rural towns only so far as they pro duce some striking news story. "The country newspaper holds a different position. The pnblishersj are a part of the community which they serve. They are interested in everything that takes place in town or county. They are directly or in directly interested in every resident of the community, most of whom are readers of their paper. They are financially interested in the do ings of the town and county author ities and are deeply concerned in the development of the community. They are continually bringing to the front the advantages of the town for industrial and residential location; their praise is insistent in season and out of season, and their criticism is given in good faith for the good of the community, not knocking. Their every effort is to build up, not to destroy. Does the metropolitan newspaper do as much for the community? "There i3 an intimate connection between the local newspaper and the people that is impossible with the metropolitan newspaper. The local newspaper has a field peculiar ly its own, and one the metropoli tan newspaper cannot adequately treat. The country newspaper that endeavors to give the local news, to faithfully chronicle the doings of the people of the county, full, con cisely and interestingly will not . . . . I V come into competition witn me metropolitan newspapers and the latter cannot compete in local serv ice with the country newspaper that is alive to its opportunities and endeavors to faithfully serve its readers." And now that the cross-state highway committee have completed the arduous task of locating the cross state highway, the residents along the said route are command ed to get busy and build said road at once. Well of course! get out your wallets gentlemen it will only cost you a few thousand dollars per mile to build something like 250 miles of road from St. Louis to Kansas City. Neither the state or any one else will build it lor you. The junketing committee having exhausted all the money and bar bacued lamb within their grasp, are looking for another soft snap. Get to work gentlemen. Colorado Springs, Cola. Dr. Wal ter Williams, dean af the school of journalism. Missouri University, spent a few days in Colorado Springs last week. Dr. Williams is historian of the Santa Fe trail, and has been making a journey on foot over the famous old roadway: He is writing a series of articles for various newspapers and magazines, in an effort to make permanent the existence of the old trail in Ameri can literature. Uncle John Shearman, who spent the summer among the northern lakes, returned Thursday. The trip seems to have agreed with him as he appears hale and hearty and is as spry as a boy. telIg the story Edward Lowenstein of Marshall, who will accompany the Paris Odd i;g as musjcian has been here this week practicing with the bovs and has already shown that he is the right man for the place. He is a consin of the Lowenstein boys for merly of Paris and of course felt like homefolks. The team has about finished its prepartions fur the trip and on Tuesday night put on the first degree with 500 Odd Fellows from all over this section and Grand Master Bryant and Grand Secretary Wilkerson as spectators. Glenn Mitchell took the work, the rest of the big class of 35 looking on, and the team sur passed all its former efforts in put ting on this beautiful degree, fur which it has been famed for years. The grand olficers pronounced the work as incomparable and grew enthusiastic on the chances of the team in the Indianapolis contest, All in all it was a sure enoue big night, the hall not being nearly large enough to accommodate the crowd. The dangerous condition of the court house and the fear to risk it again with a big crowd pre vented using the circuit court room The team leaves for Indianapolis Sept. 16, in a special car, probably via the Wabash. The round trip fare will be $14.60 from Paris and quite a number of Monroe county Odd Fellows are talking of going, All kinds ot guttering light pip ing and sheet metai work of most all kinds done properly a;id m the most approved manner. All work guaranteed. Johnson &. Hopkins. WANTED Good Housekeeping Magazine requires the services of a representative in Monroe City to look after subscription renewals and to extend circulation by special methods which have proved un usually successful. Salary and com mission. Previous experience de sirable, but not essential. Whole time or spare time. Address, with references, J. F. Fairbanks, Good Housekeeping Magazine, 381 Fourth Ave., New York City. 9-7 For Sale Cedar Fence Posts. 9-14 Joe 9-14 Joe Hagar. It is singular, that despite the fact this soil produces more to the acre than any soil in the country, yet we fihd "suckers" daily looking for some place where the agent is a good advertiser and promises a big return for a little work on poorer land. From now on the weather will be too cold for the Dakotas and the easy marks will turn to Texas, where there is plenty of land left and sold at a good price. Rails County Times. coTl Try my Springfield, 111.. Big Lump coal, well screened and nothing belter to hold lire. Bell Phone. 9-7 LEWIS NASH. Prof. French Strother of Union Hall. Virginia, is here to visit his sister. Mrs. Robert Woodson. Pro fessor Strother is an old Missouri teacher and in the years past was connected with colleges and schools at Glasgow, Lexington and Carroll ton and other points in the State. While a teacher in Monroe county the town of Strother was laid out and named for him. Missouri Tele graph. No Hunting. AH persons hunting on my farm will be prosecuted. 9-21 Fred Buhrkuhl. Quincy Schafer's. Tip Top Bread at WANTED. We want young men and women to take good paying positions who have finished either a course of Shorthand, or Bookkeeping and Shorthand in our college. Our employment records show that dur ing this year there has not been a graduate of one of the above courses who was not placed in a good position within ten days after his course wa3 finished, unles3 of his own accord. Yet there may be some who have never registered with our Employment Dept. or who may desire more' remunerative po sitions than tney are at present holding, who would register now. Oar Employment Dent, is away be hind in supplying business firms, and will appreciate anyone furnish ing us with the full particulars of one of our graduates of the above named courses who desires help in securing a more desirable position. The fact that we have been wholly unable to supply the demand by business firms during the past year is very suggestive that we should more earnestly urge other young people to enter our school and take up a course of Shorthand, or Book keeping and Shorthand. $30 pays for a life scholarship in any one of these courses; $95 pays for a life scholarship in two courses Board and lodging is only $2 50 to $3 50 per week. The Shorthand course is completed by the average student in three and a half months, the Bookkeeping course in four months; Bookkeeping and Short hand in five months, thus it will be seen the total cost of preparing and being placed in a good position is very small. Anyone can afford it. Write for our large catalogue, giv ing facts from hundreds of students as to what they were able to accom plish, also what their employers have to say of their ability to rend er first class service. Every state ment in this catalogue is backed by a $100 cash guarantee to be true and correct. We guarantee to give a netter ana more thorough course iu half the time and at half the ex pense of any school teaching other than the famous Byrne systems, which are our own copyrighted methods. Make your arrangements to enter at once. Moberly Com mercial College, Moberly, Mo. Birds as Money Savers. The destruction of insect-eating birds should not be overlooked by those attempting to explain the in creased cost of living. Government statistics show that our agriculture lias snffered to the extent of billions of dollars through the ravages of in sects. The animal loss has increas ed steadily until it has reaceed a figure which the human mind can not grasp. In the cotton belt of the South the boll weevil, which has increas ed with such rapidity as to become a plague, took as its toil in one year more than $25,000,000 worth of a product upon which every man, woman and child is dependent. And in this same section is permitted the wholesale destruction of birds, seventy-five per cent of whose food is the crop-destroying insect! We shall pay for this loss, sustained largely through folly and ignorance when we buy our clothes. Grains, vegetables and fruit culture in many localities is so hampered by noxious insects that the farmer "drags home the stingy harvest" discouraged and with good cause for abandoning his occupation. Every dollars worth ot damage which the bird guards could have prevented must come out of the pockets of the people. Poison sprays and other artificial means do not successfully check the damage done by insect pests. We must look to the wild birds for sub stantial relief. They will not rail us. even if we do no more than sim ply let them live Dumb Animals.