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J Ute H'storlcal Sjoietr V, E CITY DE Volume XXXI Monroe City, Mfssouri, Friday, August 23, 1918 Number 21 MONRO MOCRAT Ship Them Horns. What to do with those several thousand kaiserites in this country is worth thinking about. With German deleted from "the public schools, and the neor prospect of do beer, life here will lose all charm for them. And probably they Dev il er wanted to come anyway. Seems as though they must have been Bnangnaiea, or cnioroiormed, or mesmerized in order to leave all the advantages of the fatherland and the Kaiser, for the disadvant ages of the U. S. A and President Wilson. It is true most of them have prospered far beyond any possibility of what they could have done in Germany. But what of a mere detail like thail It is also true that since they have been obliged to live the exclusive life set apart for internes they ate more of a liability than an asset to us. real ly a liability net with no chance for realizing anything on them in the end. And they are so homesick for tbe fartberland; yes. in spite of good meals and warm shelter and com fortable beds, with nothing to do but rest and enjoy life, tbey do long for home. It does seem a bit un hospitable to force our unwilling guest to remain in ooe's house when that guest is pining to be on his way. So far the ferry which crosses the pond has been busy c og to a sudden expansion ir tourist ' business. Americans, many of them young men who never before had. thought much abost a European trip, have crossed the ocean in numbers breaking all former records. And tbe desire to go has reached all parts of the country, even to the most remote places. Naturally we must provide for our own people first, and so the internes have have had no opportu nity to sail. However, there seems just now to be a sort of revival in the shipbuild ing business, and in the very near future there will be plenty of ships for everybody. Wouldn't it be splendid to celebrate the' event with a grand comiDg-out party for those now interned at Ft. Leavenworth, et al. Even so fine a state as Kan sas might easily, become tiresome under such circumstances, and a change will surely benefit all con cerned the leavers and the reft. It might be necessary to hold enough of the passengers' property in this country to indemnify the possible nonreturn of the ship, but surely between the Kaiser and Gott and his sea lord some symbol ' might be provided which would pass the vessel into a German port and out again, so she can hurry back and fetch another loud. Nat urally most of the men folks would want to get into the German army right away, but doubtless even that ' could be arranged for, as there sure ly must be some vacancies by this time; and the women could help in tbe Catbage Aid Society, and such. Acd besides, it would be nice for them to in Berlin in time to witness the grand parade of the Sammies ' and their allies, which is sure to oc cur even though the date is not yet determined. Moreover, they are entitled to pass out through Castle Garden where most of them entered, but to avoid unnecessary offense the ship might have to sail after dark, and even thetrthen tbe blaze from the Statute of Liberty is extremely try ing for certain kinds of eyes. And havintf nassed out of the n Land of Liberty and Opportunity which such'-as they can never ap preciate nor understand, let the door swing shut, never again to open for one of them. ' v Married Men Not Exempt In answer to u letter from Chair man Chamberlain of the Senate Military Committee, asking whether it was true that the War Depart ment proposed to exempt married men as a clast under the ne(. man power bill. Secretary Baker ' Tues day informed the Senator that ex isting regulations as to married men would continue in force Sena tor Chamberlain h; d written to the Secretary saying if it was true that deferred classification for married men generally was contemplated, many Senators would oppose lower ing the present draft -age to 18 years. The present situation;" Baker re plied, ''with regard to married men in Class l is that four classes of married men are included within the limits of that class: First, mar ried men who do not support their wives or families; second, married men whose wives support them; third, married men whose wives have adequate independent means; fourth, married men engaged in useless occupations and who are not the main or principal support of their families.. "There is no intention to change this situation. , "In construing the regulations with regard to dependency of wives and children, financial dependency has been looked upon as the reason for deferred classification. This will continue to be the case. "I em bid that in some parts of the country there is an- abnormal increase in the rate of marriages, which suggests the possibility of a desire to use marriage as a basis for a claim of - exemption. Tbe status of registrants married at a time and under conditions suggesting any such purpose will be that of un married persons, so far as their classification is concerned." Miss Rosemary Smith, who has been stenographer for the Johnson Advertising Co., at Galesburg, III , for the past several months has ac cepted a position with the National Advertising Co., in Philadelphia. Pa. Miss Smith is a Monroe City girl, she being a member of the 1916 graduation class of the Holy Rosary school. 'She is ateo a grad uate of Brown's Business College in Galesburg. ' As Ye Soiv ' j Auto Races. The Tri-State Racing Association of Keokuk, Iowa have leased the fair grounds and race track at Moberly and will stage a big 100 mile automobile race on Labor Day, September 2n$s fot., a. ' MisurjlJifeJin transporting them has been State Championship. This Association comes to Mober ly with the verv highest of recom mendations as to their ability for handling big events, of this kind, they being well known in the Mid dle West for the clean method of racing they promote This Associa tion does not own a single racing car but all races they promote are open to anyone and entries are ac cepted from any part of tbe United States Each driver pays an entry fee to enter and gets no share of the purse except what he can go id and win Half mile dirt track auto racing iu long events of this kind is taking the country by storm wherever it is 8 1 aged. It is full of excitement and thrills with just enough danger to keep a grand-stand full of specta tors on their toes expecting some thing to happen. This Association staged a 100-mile race at Carthage, Illinois on July 4th before 10,000 people.' - Roy M Martin of Keokuk, Secre tary and General Manager of this Association advises ou account of the Moberly track being especially desirable for a race meet of this kind, he will have no trouble in se curing entries from some of the fastest racing talent in the Middle West a full list of which will ap pear in these columns later. Look ing ahead it promises to be the biggest racing event ever staged in this section of the country and without any doubt will draw a record-breaking-crowd. At an old-fashioned baptizing in Paris the other day the people on t he bank sang "How Firm a Found ation," which was quite appropriate considering the solid earth beneath their feet "Throw Out the Life 1 ine" might have met tbe view of the people in the river a little better. The fiscal year at the Cbillicothe Business College closed August 15th with a total yearly enrollment of 1972, the largest iu the history of tbe big institution. . Transporting Troops, The world has been astonished at the great number of American sold iers transported to Europe in the last half year, Tbe number now approximates 1,500.000, and the loss almost infinitesimal The success with which we have moved oui troops from the scattered camps in this country and across 3,000 miles of ocean to the battle front is great evidence of American efficiency. We have not'onlv sur prised our enemies; we have sur prised our friends and ourselves The British controller of shipping, Sir Joseph Maclay, speakes of this movement across the sea as "A transport miracle." We have been inclined to attribute this achieve ment solely to our Navy and our shipping, but the British controller speakes in high praise of the share the American railroads had ra the work. He says: "If the Al erican railroads had not been operated with success the whole transport movement might have failed' because it was essential to quick transportation that the troops should be ready tor the ships " Director General McAdoo seems justified in his statement that while the development of the policy of the Railroad Administration re quires time, progress has been made toward the goal. Birthday Party. Mercedes Ragsdale, little daughter of Mr. and Mrs. H. E. Ragsdale, of Stoutsville, entertained a number of girl friends at a birthday party August 16, from 2 to 5 p. m, in honor of her sixth birthday. The dining room was beautifully deco rated in white and yellow where re freshments were served and the little hostess was also dressed in white and yellow. . She received many nice presents including a small diamond ring. There pres ent were: Misses Helen McCoy, Laura Frances Utterback. Virginia and Aline Starrett, Edith Smelser, France and Vivian Dooley, Mary Ruth Pierceall, Lois Rice, Bernice Pike, Edna Jordan, Dortha Dooley, Thelma Durr, Edith Greening. N. A. Drescher is a business visi tor in St Louis this week. The Candidate. Now consider the candidate. He enmeth up like a flower and retireth from the race busted. His friends fill him with false hopes and expen sive atmosphere. He swelleth like a toad and thinketh "the world is mine, likewise the voters therein.' He smileth on all mankind and sloppeth over with good humor. Yea, he kisseth tbe children and cbewetb a clove when be meeteth a drv voter ' and a preacher. And as he converseth with these in pious tones, he standeth to their leeward and curbeth his breath with a mighty curb. He goeth home at night with cold feet and a beery breath making weary tbe heart of his patient wife. The grafter and mocher lie in wait for him. They pulleth his leg; yea, verily they pulleth both legs. He naileth a lie but before tbe elec tion come he runneth short of nails. He giveth liberally to the church and' from the ladies' aid he buyeth tatting; he subscribeth to the band. He sendeth a sraali keg hither and a large one thither; he contributeth money to help the poor family whose barn was burntd. He yield ed up his substance cheerfully. After the election he goes behind the barn and kicketh himself. He teareth his hair and calleth himself a R. tterdam fool, likewise an Am sterdam fool, tie then returneth to his home thus and addresseth the the wife of his bosom: . "Behold a driveling idiot; gaze upon a bullet-heaaed cnump who has not sense enough to keep out oHhe rain." Then his wife smileth sadly and sas in a gentle voice: "Did I not tell you so?'' . Sartor Resartus. Probably it would delight the heart of Thomas Carlyle could he live in this age, when clothing has become more than a matter of per sonal whim or of purse. Uncle Sam is going into the business of purveying fashions for both sexes and, like the wise man he is. pays most attention to men. He knows (he latter are much more amenable to such discipline Thus we are in formed that not more than tea models (if sack coats for men will be allowed and there must be no waste materials All for service and nothing for style. Surely the number is .enough for the modest male, although a thousand styles would not be sufficient for women. Fortunately there is no restriction on female garments thus far. Men's pockets are to be cut down, but this does not affect the sex wnicb prefeisa bushel basket for a catchall. Practically all - of tbe sartorial sacrifice is to be made by tbe men. This will be the iess re gretted because men have no mon ey to spend on clothes anyway. After their women have been sup pliedand we have not reached the period where most women will do without the latest styles men have not much left when the ordi nary expenses of the 'household have been paid and subscriptions to Liberty bonds and War Savings stamps looked after. Military training under Major Sansom, a former army officer, is made optional at the Cbillicothe Business College and along with bookkeeping, stenography and tele graphy will serve, to place at a de cided advantage the young man who may later be called to war. A French chemist has invented a process for putting up intoxicat ing liquors in tablet form. The bootlegger of the future will be a vest-pocketer.