The County paper., April 22, 1881, Image 2

About The County paper. (Oregon, Mo.) 1881-1883

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

                
LOSS IK DBLAYH.
(The following quaint bnt forcible verses
are hy llobert Bouthall, a poet of tho reljn of
tjneen Elizabeth
Shun delays they breed remorse;
Take Uiclr time, whlic time Is lent thco;
Cree(ilnit malls havo weakest force;
Fly thy fault, lest thoa repent thee.
Good Is but when soonest wrought;
Lingering labor cornea to naught.
Hoist up sail while gale doth last
Tide and wind stay no man's plcasu c;
Beck not time when tlmo Is past
Sober speed Is wisdom's leisure.
.After-wits aro dearly bought
Let thy fore-wit guide thy thought.
Time wears all his locks before
Take thou hold upon bit forehead;
When ho flies he turns no more,
And behind his scalp Is naked.
"Works adjourned have many stays;
Lonv demurs breed new delays.
PRACTICAL SCIENCE.
Treating Inflamed Wound.
It is recommended to troat inflamed
vrounds by Btuoklng thorn with burning
wool or woollin cloth. Twenty minutes
111 tho smoko of wool, it is said, will
tako tho pain out of tho worst wound,
and if ropoatcd onco or twico will nil ay
tho worst caso of inflammation arising
from a wound. This remedy is coitaln
ly very simple, and within tho roach of
every one.
A New 1,'xplOHlvc.
Tho now explosive llgnosc, invented
in Germany a woody ilbro proparcd
with nltro-glycorlno Is a very light
vowdcr, which in loose condition burns
-vory Blowly. Tho cartridges mado of it
ore larger than thoso of ordinary blast
iug powder ot tho samo power. As it
does not withstand molsturo, it cannot
replace dynamlto. It lias been ltnploy
cd in a number o( minos, and tho re
sults of various tests mndo of it placo
its cxplosivo forco which, howovor,
docs not scorn to bo uniform at somo
throo times, at least, that of a i equal
weight of blasting powdor. Groatsnfo
ty I1.13 been clalmod ns ono of tho ad
vantages of its use, also tho exemption
from explosion by contact with naked
fire, anil the fact that but littlo gas is
loft after explosion, this littlo being
quite harmless.
Imitation Ivory.
A very superior artiolo ot imitation
Ivory, now mado in Paris, Is said to bo
a mixture o( ono hundred pounds Ivory
dust, tho samo of pyroxylino, and fifty
of camphor. The p3Toxylino is ground
wet, then pressed until only enough
water romains in it to provent ignition,
.and, aftor boing combined with tho
ivory dust and camphor, is pressed bo
tweon absorbing cushions until all tho
molsturo is extractod, when fifty parts
of nitrite of ethyl aro added. Tho mix
ture thus formed is loit for several
houis In a closed vessol, until this
nitrite is equally distributed throughout
tho mass. It is next subjoctcd to heavy
pressure in heated' cylindors and rolled
betweon hot rollers. Tho product thus
obtained possesses a romarkablo slnil
larlty in appoaranco and quality to nat
ural ivory, is froo from streaks and
spots, and is not attacked by moist
ure.
Amplifying: Motion.
Tor amplifying small motions, an in
genious devlco lias recently been con
trlvcd, and exhibited, boforo ono of tho
foreign scicntiGo societies. A small
barrel is slung by two threads between
tho prongs of a metal fork, in Guch a
manner that if tho fork is bodily carried
to and fro, tho barrol will rotato around
its axis; this is simply effected by mak-
ing each thread in its passage from ono
prong to tho other, tako a fow turns
round tho barrol. To tho barrel an in
dex is attached, and tho fork is then
Hxed on the body whoso minute motion
is to bo indicated. Tho translation of
tho body shifts tho fork and rotates tho
barrel, which in turn dollects tho indox
round tho faces of a dial, and tho mag
nifying powor is expressed by tho ratio
of tho barrel's diameter to tho longth ot
tho index.
Xho Endowment ot Scientific
KcHcurcu.
'Qeorm Divldton In Cllforlan.
What claim for assistance has scienco
upon tho peoplo and tho Stato? Tho
question is plain and simple enough, but
tho moro it is turnod tho more far
reaching does it provo. Tho idea which
it embodies is so intimately woven with
tho prosperity of nations, ahd tho hap
piness, intellectuality and morality of
tho people, that in a greater or loss do
greo scienco fairly enters into tho every
-day business of ono and all. As the air
wo brcatho, it surrounds and supports
ms; witnour. its vitalizing powor wo
should soon suffer intellectual death.
It boars directly upon tho prosperity of
States, beoauso it elucidates tho natural
laws which undorlio all groat engineer'
ing projects, as well as tho prinolples of
.sociology. It comes to tho aid of com
merce, beoauso It devolops tho modol ot
"tho ship, tho prevalonco of winds and
tho strength and direotlon of currents,
and marks out tho pathways ovor tho
oceans. For tho manufacturer it estab
lishes the economy of motlvo power, and
tho best means of uslngraw products and
"Utilizing wasto materials, It informs tho
agriculturist of tho qualities of his soil
and its titnuss for special productions tho
introduction of new plants, and tho ne
ccslty tor particular featilizers;and to tho
minor it cortifles tho character and rioh
noss of tho ores in his ledge. It advises tho
governments in grave subjoots of eanlt
ary engineering, of prospective dlscov
cry, of serious adulterations in imports,
in foods, in manufactures. It gives
you to-day tho variation of tho compass
and assures tho highest tribunals what
it was at any given data. It demon
strates the millionth part of an inch as
a tangible, quantity, and it gives tho
motes and bounds of states and empires.
It predicts , the qomlng storm, and
millions ot dollars and thousands of
Jives, ready for sea, promptly obey its
warning. It yearly fixes its stamp upon
tho coinago of tho country, and makes
it redeemable for its 1 aco tho world over;
it endorses tho authenticity of tho
standards of weight, volume and longth,
and Its verdict is universally accepted.
Yottheso aro a more glimpso of its
manifold ramifications as a ncrvo system
in tho body politic Thoro nro thoso
who havo eyes that sco not, but to thoso
who honestly uso thorn tho influonco of
scientific investigation is paramount in
ovory department of tho governments,
in overy avenue of human industry, iu
tho moral growth of tho raco. To tho
mechanic, tho manufacturer, tho mer
chant, tho engineer, tho minor, tho
agriculturist as individuals seeking
for worldly prosperity scienco comes
in a thousand subtilo shapos now so
widespread and permeating overy
business that its direct boarlng is too
frequently overlooked or quietly ignor
ed. And in fact many specialists do
not thomsclvc3 havo tho breadth of vlow
which is necessary to measure and ap
preciate tho vast and diversified amount
of selontifio knowledgo which has ad
vanced nil modern improvement.
ANNUS MIItADIMS.
rack.
There never was so strange a year;
Tho seasons seem all out ot gear;
The summer took so much of fall,
Wo had no Autumn days at all
Tho tall, In order to get square,
Took all ot winter It did dare;
And winter evens up tho Uilng
By lingering In tho lap of spring.
THE HOEKS.
Something New in Entomology.
Last Sunday, us Mr. Jouos wa3 re
turning from church with his family,
ho discovered a now and singular-looking
bug on his frontdoor-step. As ho
was something of a scientist ho was
pleased with tho now specimen, and,
forming his pockct handkorchlof Into a
sort of cage, ho pounced down on it and
succeeded in capturing it.
" Bring tho microscope, children," ho
called, "and tell your ma to hurry; 1
want her to look at it; I'm suro it bo
longs to tho Ilomiptera class and is a
now specimen. Horo, Charlio, put your
oyo to tho ocular sldo and toll mo what
you see."
Oh, pa, ain't it splendid? It's got
four wings, eight eyes, and, oh, my I
nin't it a sparklor, though P Red and
green and yellow, and oh, it's getting
awav, ain't it, paPM
Then it isn't dead!" cried Mr. Jones,
in ecstasy; "I wasn't qulto suro whoth
cr it moved or not. Lot mo lookl Yes,
it's n terrestrial, I- think, alter all; it
belongs to tho gcnuH Pentoma the
antcnnai havo that peculiar Qcxlblo
look; and yet, now that I look again,
the eyes scorn to indicate that it is a
phytoooris, in which caso it will bo very
destructive to your ma's plant', and wo
must kill it at once. I'll ask Professor
Sill. It will bo in any caso a valuablo
addition to science. Maria, whero's tho
chloroform?"'
"Up on tho clock shelf; what are you
going to do with it?" askod Mrs. Jones,
who had been giving her undivided at
tention to tho baby.
Kill this bug as soon as you havo
oxamlnod It," answered Mr. Jones, in
a lofty voleo. "1 shall present it to tho
scientific association "
Well, I guess not, Mr. Jones,'
broke in his wife, who was looking with
much interest at tho now specimen.
paid 92 for that bug last week to wear
on my now bonnet, and I must havo
dropped it off when I camo In. It bo
longs to iho genus millinorai, and
couldn't bo any deader if it had boon
baked for a century. Scionco will havo
to got along without it, Jones; it's nl
ready classillod." Poor JonosI
Exercise fur Girls.
Tho noglecl ol bodily exercise appears
moro striking in girls than in boys. Tho
latter have somo oxeroisos that must be
taken. They will walk, run, Jump, and
play uctlvo gamos. Girls koop qulot,
and are constantly warned not to over
step tho limits of otlquetto mndo by so
cioty. It is not proper lor them to lo
many things that boys may, and so ma-
ny of their bones and muscles aro but
very littlo used and their limbs and
bodlos lose that symmetry, strength and
boauty that they would otherwise attain,
Persons ongagod in actlvo pursuits bo-
como strong in certain parts. Tho dan
cor becomes strong in his lower limbs
tho blacksmith In his upper limbs. Tho
Tho sailor can climb a ropo. Tho far
mer can plow or hoo all day long, but
no ono of them can run fast without
puffing, becauso this oxcrciso brings
Into play another sot of muscles. Now.
tho purposo of a physical education is to
promoto tho strength and growth of all
tho muscles, andso dovolop a good form
Girls ultimately ncod broad shouldora
full chests, and an erect andgracful car
rlago. In no other way can thoy
ablo to strugglo with tho duties of aovtlo
life. In no othor way will thov bo ablo
to executo all tho duties that thoy may
find thoy want to executo. Then tho
groat purposo of physical education is
to dovolop all tho bones and muscles ns
n good mental education consists in do
voloplng all tho intellectual powers
Tho ordinary duties of girls in domos
tio circles nro nearly nothing. If our
girls, then, aro to bo well dovolopcd,
thoy aro to bocomo strong and robust.
thoy must go through somo special
courso of training. Ding, a Swedo, in
stituted a system of physical exorcises
J .1 A ., . ., .
uusjgucu 10 uovoiop cquaiy ana per- l
icctiy tho whole human form, and also
to romedy doformlty and dlsoaso. His
system ot physical training was intro
duced into all tho country schools of
Sweden and into thoso of sovoral other
Europoan nations. In this country it
is nearly impossible to rouso our pooplo
to tho value of a sorles of physical exor
clsos that insure health and strength,
especially in our girls. And so our girls
and women aro less stoutly formod, aro
loss strong, and loss healthy, and less
ablo to discharge tho duties of activo
life.
A young lady at tho ball called hor
boau an Indian, beoauso ho was on hor
trail all tho tlmo.
Ilrlcf IliMtory of it II rare Pooplo.
To the February number of tho Nine
Uenlh Century Sir Bartlo Froro contrib
utes an artiolo of considerable length,
which may bo accepted as tho strongest
poseiblo argument on tho side oi tho
British Government as against tho
Doers of tho Transvaal. Viewed from
an impartial standpoint on this sldo of
tho ocean, this argument scorns to bo
weak in many important points, and a
total fntluro In tho ono vital particular
which relates to tho protended act of an
nexation in 1877.
Tho history ol tho Boors may bo brlof
ly summarized. Thoy como of renown
ed stock. In tho seventeenth contury
a small Dutch colony nt tho Capo was
reinforced by tho arrival of 160 French
Huguenots, who, having fled from
Franco to Holland to oscapo tyranny
and find liberty, again emigrated to a
distant colony with like doslros and
hopos. Among them wore men of tko
bost blood, and this blood, with tho old
family names and tho old Huguenot
character, has bcou perpetuated at tho
'apo. Tho history of tho Capo colony
nnd its final lalling into British hands
need not bo rowritton. In 1835 a con
siderable) number of tho Boor families,
desiriug to cscapo from what thoy re
garded as tho opprosslvo laws of British
colonial managomont, and willing to
sacrifico much for freedom, loft their
farms and possessions and, with loaded
wagons carrying their wives and chil
dren nnd movablo goods, emigrated
ito tho wilds of Southern Africa, far
boyoud any claim nnd, as thoy hopod,
boyond roach of British rule Tho his
tory of this emigration is a grand and
wonderful page, which will aiways bo
road with profound intorcst nnd admi
ration. Tho leaders wcro men of groat
ability, education and energy. Their
deslro for and devotion to tho truo prin
ciples of liberty, protected by laws
which thoy should mako for thomsolvcs,
cannot now bo disputed.
Tiioy found rest in what is now called
Natal. Their rest was soon disturbed
by tho savages, with whom thoy sought
to deal peacoably; but who treacherous-
y murdered sevonty of thorn, including
Piotcr Retlof, whoso momory as a bravo
and good loader is and always will bo
honurod among thorn. Tbon they fought
gallantly with tho Zulus, nndconquorcd
them. And when tho distant Colonial
British Govornmont, which there Is
small doubt would havo boon woll ples
od had thoy been exterminated, found
that thoy had been successful, and,
though worn and impoverished, wore
dotormlnod to retain their indopodonco
and build up their free stato, a British
lorco was sent to annox Natal. Tho old
Huguenot spirit led thorn again into tho
wilderness.
Liborty thoy sought and would havo
if it were to bo found anywhere in this
world. Again tho great wagons groan
cd with tho pilgrim loads, and tho do
scondants ot Joubort and Serrurior and
Bertram! and othor mon of notable spir
it wont ovor tho Drakensborg into tho
country of tho Vaal and Orango rivers
Hero m 1818 tho British rulo tlfoy had
songht to escape followed them with a
proclamation of annexation, and British
troops camo to onforco it. Then thoy
turned against their oppressors and
fought for freedom, but hopelessly, and
ol thoir remnant a considorabloportion
again fled from tho hated dominion,
and established their homes in tho
Transvaal. In 1852 there seemed to bo
prospect for thorn of reposo. Tho
British Govornmont mado a treaty sol
emnly guaranteeing them "the right to
manage thoir own nffairs and to govorn
thomselvos according to thoir own
laws." If thoro had boon before this
any forco in the pretense that thoy were
British subjoots and colonists und there
foro carried British sovereignty with
them woherover thoy went, this pro
tonso was now ended. Groat Britain
acknowledged their independenco.
In 1877 tho British Govornmont pro
claimed tho annexation of tho Trans
vaal, and tho dream of liberty which tho
Boors had for a fow years ohorlshcd was
at an ond. But it was not wholly dis
sipated. A last strugglo was necessary,
Such mon, tho descendants of suoh mon,
are not to bo finally subdued without
somo cost o blood. Thoy aro now tost
ing that samo quostion which tho Amer
ican colonies tosted a contury ago. How
long will England pour out n.onoy nnd
lives for tho possession of authority ovor
suoh a racer
Wo seek in Sir Bartlo Trero's paper
the justllicatlon of tho British violation
of treaty stipulations by tho lastaot of
annexation. It may bo vory briofly
stated. Ills only attempt at lu3tlflca'
tlon Is in tho assertion that tho Boer
government of tho Transvaal was a
failure in 1877, and that tho Govern
mont was falling Into anarchy, and
could not protect itselt against savago
enoroaohment or intornal dissension
Tho answer would seem to bo that tho
Boors wore vory comfortablo, happy
and prosperous, and did not thomsolvcs
know of this woak and disastrous stato
of thoir affairs. Nolthor aro thoro any
tacts reoorded whloh show It. Tho bus
piolon is that Sir Bartlo Frero's viow is
purely a dlplomatlo vlow. His argu
ment might havo forco to justify Eng
land In onnoxlng Turkoy and erasing
tho burlesqo of a Govornmont at Con
stantlnoplo, but Europo recognizes no
such arguments in Europoan politics
stneo tho days of Poland. Tho Boors
dony tho truth of his allegations.
Ho says farlhormoro that tho Boers
llko annexation, npprovo of it; that ho
has talked with n groat many of them,
and is satisfied that tho opposition pro
coeds only from a discontented section
or party among them. Recont answers
to this from tho rifles ot tho concen
trated forcos of tho Boors aro loudor and
moro trustworthy than tho testimony
of an individual, especially ono whoso
visit to tho Boors as a roprosontatlvo of
tho British Govornmont was not favor
ablo to tho acquisition of truthful infor
mation lrom private conversation.
But thoro is a portion of Sir Bartlo
Froro's paper which seems intended as
an apponl to prejudlcos nnd passions in
England, nnd which detracts from its
character, which othcrwlso seems hon
est and sincoro, howovor weak. Ho
attributes tho trouble among tho Boors
to intrigues of German nnd other Conti
nental powers, and to tho influonco of
Irish emissaries, all working not for
tho good of tho Boors, but for tho ir
jury nnd tho nnnoynnco ot England.
This Is a vory specious, but wo nro
compollod to think a very unworthy
suggestion. The united testimony of
all witnesses, oven thoir most determ
ined British opponents, has bocn and
now Is that tho loaders of tho Boers aro
mon of very high, wo might say oxaltod,
personal character. Thoro is nowhere
in history a parallel caso of such praise
bestowed by onemles on tho honor, pa
triotism, piety, slmplo, solemn energy
and sincerity of men. If there was
over proof In lives and deeds of tho
dovotlon ot a pooplo of thoir own con
ceptions of free government, it is found
horo. Not ovcu Sir Bartlo Frcro can
venture to hint a doubt of this. It
scorns thoroforo almost farcical to hoar
this strugglo for liberty, which for forty
years has uovor ceased, now attributed
to Irish omisaric3 or continental diplomacy.
Thoro is a vast deal moro of forco in
tho fact that thoro aro rich mines in tho
Transvaal, discovered slrco England
acknowledged tho indopondenco of tho
Boors. Whatever bo tho end of tho
prcsont contest, it is not nl all probablo
that highmlndcd, honest, noblo natures,
suoh as ovon tho bitterly prejudiced
Liviugstono attributes to tho Boers
lofty dovotlon suoh as has always char
acterized them, leadors and followers,
men and women, will sucnumb finally
ovon to tho great lorco ot England.
There aro broad stretches of land in
Africa, and future ages in which tho
decendants of such a raco may possibly
become rulors of a continent.
had heaped around hor to a height of
two feet above hor head as sho sal. Bho
had strength enough to thrust a twig,
with her handkerohiof at tho top of it,
through tho snow, to sorvo as a signal,
and to admit a littlo daylight. Torpor
suporvencd; and sho knew littlo moro
ot what passed around hor. Night suc
ceeded day, and day again broko, but
thoro sho remalnod motionless and
foodloss. Not sonsolcss, howovor, for
sho could hear church bolls and vlllago
sounds nay, evon tho voices and con
versation of somo ot her neighbors.
Four wholo dayssho thus remained, ono
singlo pinch of snuff being, her only
.nibitltuto for food during this tlmo,
and this ovon sho found had lost its
pungonoy. On tho fifth day a thaw
commenced nnd then she suffered
greatly, but still without being ablo to
oxtrlcato horsolf. It was not until tho
eighth day that tho handkerchief was
espied by a villager who, with many
others, had long boon searching for hor.
Stooping down ho said:
"Aro you thoro, Etizabcth Wood
cock?" Sho had strength enough to roply,
faintly:
"Dear John Slittlo, I know your
voice. For God's sako holp mo out."
Sho dlod about half a year afterward,
through mismanagement of frost-bitten
toes; but it was fully admitted that no
ono, unless cased in snow, could havo
lived out thoso eight days and nights In
such a placo without food.
Tho Forty Liars.
DILI. KV15.
A Uood Preacher Reaches tho Heart of
Lcadvlllo.
Rov. T. J, Mackoy is a clergyman
statlonod in Lcadvlllo. Somo idoa of
tho stato of religious development in
that romarkablo town, and of tho rever
end gcntloman's fitness for spiritual
work In that part of tho Lord's vino
yard, may bo gathorcd from tho follow
ing extraot from an address delivered by
him In tho church of the Rov. Dr. New
ton, Philadelphia, a fow evenings since,
After describing Loadvillo's thrift and
growth, tho Rov. Maokoy said: "My
first vestryman could drink moro whis
ky than any man in tho town. Shortly
after I mado my appearaneo in tho
town my parishioners invited mo to a
ohuroh soclablo, and upon going I was
astonlshod to seo tho worthy pooplo
waltzing nnd dancing in tho most scan
dalous manner. To add to this there
wore two streets whoso entire length
wore mado up of low dance-houses. How
was I to ovorcomo suoh a gigantic evil?
I scoured a hall, had tho floor waxed,
and after engaging a band of music, I
sent cut invitations to all tho young men
of tho placo to como dowm and have a
danco. I instructed my floor managor
who, by tho way, mado lots of monoy
and skipped not to allow any waltzing.
Tho result was, that aftor enjoying
square dances until 11 o'clock, tho par
ticipants quiotly dispersed. Somo fow
said: 'Walt till tho preacher goes then
we'll havo a waltz;' but I was too smart
for thorn. I carried tho koy of tho hall,
nnd did notleavo until nil had doparted.
Every other weok I givo suoh a socla
blo, and tho results are remarkably
good. This character of mission work
would not do In Philadelphia or Boston,
but it will do in Loadvillo. It may seom
ungodliko to praotico such a courso. but
It Is tho only way to reach thoso pooplo.
When I first went out thoro tho congre
tlon used to applaud mo whon I was
preaching, but I finally got them out of
such an unholy habit. Loadvillo is a
great placo for display funorals. No
mattor who dies, tho funorul procossion
is hoadod by a brass band. Whon I
burlod Texas Jack, the partner ot Buf
falo Bill tho cortogo was hoadod by a
brass baud of forty-two pieces. L3nd-
villo Is also a great placo for titles.
Evorybody has a tltlo, Captain is pret
ty good, but to command attention ono
must be a oolonol or a gonoral. I am a
sort of a general. I holong to fivo mill
tary companies, and in my capacity as a
militiaman I watch over my congroga
tlon,"
Under the Suovr.
Tho romarkablo caso of Elizabeth
Woodcook, who was burlod undor tho
snow. Is especially striking, in tno
winter of 1709 sho was returning on
horsoback from Cambridge England,
to hor homo in n neighboring vlllago
and having dismounted for a fow min
utes tho horso ran away from hor. At
sovon o'clock on a winter ovonlng sho
sat down under a thlokot, cold, tired
and dishoartoncd. Snow oamo on; Bho
was too woak to riso, aud tho consc
qucnoo was that by mornlug tho snow
At a regular annual roundup of tho
Rooky Mountain Division ot tho Inde
pendent Order of Forty Liars, on Sat
urday evening, tho Most Noblo Prevar
icator having directed the chest tester
to cxamico all present to seo that thoy
wore in possession of tho annual pass
word, explanations nnd signal, nnd to
report to tho Most Noblo Promotor of
Twcnty-soven Ktrat Falsehoods wheth
er nil wero sp qualified to remain, and
tho roport having boon satisfactory tho
Most Noblo Prevaricator announced
that alter tho roport ot tho Custodian
of Campaign Lies lor tho past year and
tho annual statements of tho Division
B irtender and Most Noblo Beer Yanker
had been handed in and passed upon,
tho next business to como before tho
division would bo tho nomination and
election of Most Noblo Prevaricator to
servo during tho year 1881.
"Under tho rules of our order," said
tho M. N. P., "ten minutes will bo given
to each aspirant for tho oflioo named in
which to address tho meeting. It is
understood that tho timo shall be do
voted to short anecdotes, por? onal rem
iniscences, etc., and tho brethren wil
bo given amplo soopo to cnlargo upon
auy details whloh tho subjoct may sug
gest. Our usual custom is to duvoto at
least ono hour to this highly entertain
ing oxorclso, and I call to mind now
eorno of tho most enjoyablo moments of
my life spont in listening to others or
in constructing for the amuscmont of
othors a fow of tho most entertaining
nnd instruotivo falsehoods that tho his
tory of our most noblo order has
known.
"Wo havo sovoral prominent visiting
mombors horo from othor parts of tho
country, among whom I am gratiflod to
namo Brother Eli Porkins, Brothor
O'lCoofoofPiko's Poak, and Brothers
Moroy and Barnum from tho oast, who
will address tho meotlng perhaps for a
fow moments niter othor buslnoss has
bocn disposed of."
Aftor singing tho opening odo, accom
paniod by tho lyro, tho usual order of
business having boon nttondod to the
addresses of aspirants for tho offico of
M. N. P. of tho Rooky Mountain divis
ion wore called for.
Tho last speakor was Brother Joddiah
Holcomb, who thus addressed tho as
semblage :
"Most Noblo Prevarioator of tho
Rooky Mounta n division of Forty Liars
and brethren of tho order many yoars
ago, whon I was a moro strlppling, as it
wero, and Just upon tho verge of man
hood, so to speak, I was sitting on the
greon grass south ol Ubioago, noar
where Drexol boulevard comos into
South park, thinking ot my hard luck
and wishing that my iuturo might bo
moro prosperous than my past
"That locality was then a howling
wildorness compared with what it is
now, and where to-day the boautlful
drlvos and walks aro so inviting there
was nothing then but tho prairlo and
swamp, with hero and there a sorub oak
troo.
'Chicago was a stirring western oit;
tbon. but sho was young and small. SI;
had not thon accumulated tho fabulo
woalth of now and peoullar motrop
tan odors which sho now enjoys, and in
placo of tho rich fruotlfying' fragrance
of tho stock yards there was nottig
thoro but tho wild honoysueklo and
dead horso.
"Out whoro soma of tho most I
tlful residences now stand thoro
nothing there but tho dark thistle .'
ding in tho wind or the timid plonlo
bumblo-boo hanging on the autumn
bough and yoarnlng to bo gathorod by
tho small boy.
"As I sat thoro In tho long ago, and,
shroudod In tho Septombor hazo, was
dreaming of a fortunate future for my
solf, I board tho muffled tread of innu-
morablo foot drawing nearer and nearer1
to mo. Tho sound was llko tho footfall
of a regiment of Infantry approaohlng,
and I roso to see what was tho cause.
"I had not long to wait, for vory soon
thoro hovo in sight a vory singular spoo
taolo. First oamo a largo Illinois hog
at tho hoad of a largo column of llll
nois hogs, all marching Indian fashion
and grunting with that gontlo, placid
grunt which tho hog carries with him.
On closer examination into tho singular
phenomenon I saw that all'tho hogs, ex
cept tho loader, wore blind, each animal
having his predecessor's tail in his
mouth thioughout tho long lino, con
sisting of 13,621 unlprtunato sightless
hogs, ohooriully following thoir leader
toward wator.
"I was novor so struck with tho won
derful instinct of the bruto creation in
my life, and my dyes filled with fears
when I saw tho ohlldllko faith and con
fidence of oach btlnd animal following
with implicit trust tho moro fortunate
guido.
"Soon, however, a groat dazzling
throo-cornored Idea worked its way into
my intellect. Dashing away my idlo
tears, I drew my rovolvor and shot off
tho leader's tall, leaving tho long lino
of disconcortcd nnd aimless hogs in tho
middlo of a broad prairie, with no guido
but tho dophloglstlcatod tall of a hog
who was then three-quarters of a milo
away.
"Then I stolo up and taking tho gory
tail in my hand, I led tho trusting phn
lanx down to tho stock yards and sold
tho entire outfit for eight conts livo
woight.
"This was tho start of my dazzling
careor ns a capitalist, a career to which
I now point with prido. Thus from a
poor boy with ono suspender and a soro
toe I havo risen to bo 01,0 of our load
ing buslnoss men, known and respocted
by all, and, by Industry nnd economy
nnd borrowing my chowing tobacco, I
havo como to bo ono of our solid men."
Whon Brothor Holcomb coascd to
sponk there was a painful sllonco of por
hap3 livo miuutes, nnd then Brother
Woodtlck Williams moved that tho rules
bo suspondod nnd Brothor Holcomb de
clared tho unanimous ohoico of tho Or
der for Most Noblo Prevaricator, to
servo till 1882.
Passed.
netting Sqnaro With tho Governor.
Old Pungleup, tho wholcsalo mer
chant, was vory much annoyed nt tho
mannor in which his nfllso, down on
Front stroot, was Invaded by his daugh
ters, whoso filial affection impolled thorn
to drop In ovory timo thoy wore down
town and wanted to buy somothing,
which was six days in tho week; so ho
at last posted a sign. '
'No Admission Excopt on buslnoss,"
on tho door ot his private sanctum,
which had tho effect of kcoping out tho
feminino invasion to a considorabln extent.
AH thrco of tho Pungloup girls had
beaux, however, and as old 1 mado
it a point to fuss round in tho parlor a
good deal in tho evening muoh to tho
detriment of tho festivities, they de
termined to get evon on tho old gentle
man. And so tho other evening, when
Punglcup had got through reading his
paper, and concluded, to look in on tho
young peoplo, ho was astonished to be
hold on tho pallor door a placard bear
ing tho following inscription:
"No Admittance ExccptonBuslness."
Old P rubbod his spectacles,
scratched his head, and repaired to tho
back parlor door, where tho snmo lo-
gend stared him in tho face. Ho rapped
loudly, and, aftor striving to bo hoard
over tho rattle of voices insldo, tho door
was oponed a brlof inch, and a swcot
volco said:
"Private session of tho Board. Como
round in tho morning.
Alter which Mr. P abstractedly
took in tho mat, turned down tho hall
gas, and wont uo to bed in a brown
study. '
Doing What Uo Liked With His
Own."
Tho Oriontal custom of vory early
marriages has just had its evil sldo very
forcibly illustrated at tho Calcutta Pa-'
lico Court. A Mahomodan lad, slxteon
years old was ohargod with having bru
tally Ill-treated his wifo by branding
hor on tho faco and body with a red
hot iron. Tho vlotim of this shameful
cruelty provod to bo a poor littlo girl
botwoon six and sovon yoars of age
a moro infant, in fact. Sho, it appears,
had appropriated to her own uso somo
artiolo which hor boy-husband rogarded
with special liking, and out of tbo child'
ish quarrel arose tho outrago in ques
tion. On being remonstrated with by a
neighbor for putting his wife to such
shocking torture, tho boy replied that
"sho was his own, and ho supposed ho
could do what he likod with hor." Tho
njoglstrato, however, took a contrary
viow of marital rights, and gavo effect
his opinion by sentencing tho of-
ondor to a month's Imprisonment.
IP
M
m
II
,tifig
idlho
blau
i Evas
1 lod-
Greek Fish.
atcr'i Magazine.
Fish was a favorlto dlot, tho tunny
being probably coarser food, as tho eel
was one of tho moro costly und doll-
sjste, especially whon stowed and
smothered in beot-root. Many kinds ot
shell-fish were in uso, oysters bcicg, as
with tho Romans, especial favorites
Tim miHliuHdh ntiil tlin finn-iirnMn
echtmu) do not seem to us tempting
tood; snails, (eaten with pulbi.) era
lull, sovoral kinds of crab, prawns
mussels, and whellcs, nro often mon
tlonod. In truth, tbo anecdotes about
tho fish-market aro endless. "It is
nloo thing," says a poot of tho Middlo
Comedy, "to seo a well-stored flsh-sho
w hoi you navo monoy in yourpooKoi,
not otherwise. Thoro was poor Cory'
dus with Just four coppers, who first
looked at tho crabs, eels and tunnies,
askod tho prico of each, and then-
went off to tho sprats.1'
"Is that mule tamoP" asked a farmo
of an Amerloan doalor in dombstl
quadrupeds, "llo's tamo enough gin
MEXICAN SOCIETr.
IU neantlfnl Women and Numerous Castes.
New Orleini Democrat.
Thoro exists no othor socloty on tho
pl&not, not oven In India, whoro thore
is more distinction oi casto and class
than is found in Mexico. On tho Golf
coast, by consequonco of tho unfortu
nate amalgamation of tho white and tho
Indian and the Chine 0 and tho black
races, thoro aro said to exist at least a
dozen separate classos of humanity, of
different colors, or, at least, of different
characteristics. In tho capital such is
not tho case., Thoro aro Castlllans and
Creoles, or children of Indian mothers
and Spanish fathers and full-blooded
Indians. Tho Creoles nro noted for
thoir' intelligence, thoir symmotryof
form aud feature, and thoir porsonal
courago. Thoir complexion may be
said to resomblo that of tho far-famed
caballoros of Andalusia. Tho males
aro toll and shapely, whllo tho ladies
aro gonerally vory beautiful, aro well
formed, pososs delicatoly molded hands
and foot, and tho most boautlful oyos of
any of tho human family. Tho belles
oitho south of Franco, of tho moun
tains nnd plains of Spain, of tho slorras
and coast of Portugal, and of tho fa.
mous citlos of Italy, must yiold to thoir
charming sisters of tho Latin Republics
in tho boauty, shapo, slzo and expres
sion of tho oyos. Thoy nro so exceed
ingly oxpresslvo, a glanco from botween
their long frlngo3 sooms to melt Into
tho very soul.
Tho term "OJos Creollos," or Croolo
oyos has bocomo a proverb, whllo fow,
vory fow travelers from the hyporborcan
regions havo returned from their Mexi
can tour heart wholo, whilo vory many
who returnod carried with thorn tho
holy balm for a wounded spirit, Tho
hotter class ot Moxicnns arc, in tho
highest accoptanco of the term, gentle
mon. Thoy aro o&sy and unrestrained
in their manners, and aro cxtromoly
polished and polito. Thoy are vory
intellectual and nro invariably woll
educated; can spoak several languages,
perform on tho piano and guitar, nnd
aro gonoially writers and poots no
moro scribblers, but poots, essayists
and authors of ability; Indeed, It would
bo difficult to find a raco that exhibits
suoh singular paradoxos of genius.
Tho most celebrated mathematician
and military ongineor, has written tho
most successful play. Tho most f amous
partisan officer of tho War of the French
Invasion produced tho most popular
sontlmontal novol, whilo tho greatest
Mexican, fiaiice Wnd political econo
mlst hasiglyoq tptho woridjf the most
touohuig' 'Wd " beautiful ''poem1 over
published in Latin America. Many of
tho youngor authors, whoso ages ran go
betwccn.18 nnoV25 y.oarsj.have acquired
local 'reputations: yrVare theyi Ameri
cans or Europoansthc!ri'namo8'would
bo pronounoed with respect and admi
ration throughout Christendom.
Tho Mexican ladles aro exemplary
wives nnd fond and loving, mothers.
Their homo to them is thoir entire
world; thoir husbands tho idols of their
hearts, whilo thoir children aro tho
nngols which mako thoir homes their
heaven. Yot, strango to say, thoro is
no word in the Spanish language that
can express tho idoa convoyod in our -doar
old hoarty Anglo-Saxon word
homo." Tho nearest approach to it
is found in hogar, which may bo trans
lated "hoarthstono" or "hearth" sim
ply. Yet notwithstanding this, tho
tios of family aro moro binding in Mexi
can society than among any other raco
undor heaven. Thr repentant outcast
knows thai ho or sho can always return
to tho friendly sholter of tho family
roof. Whilo tho prodigal son invaria
bly finds the arms of tho indulging nnd
forgiving parent opon to recelvo him,
for among tho Spanish Croolo's "blood
is, Indood, thicker than water," and
tears of affection which stream from a
mothor's eyes havo often wiped away
tho stains on an erring daughter's
reputation. In- Latin countries ono
false stop is not so often followed by a
parent's curse, nor is tho door shut to
tho return of ono who may havo, in tho
senseless parlanco of socioty, irretrieva
bly fallon.
The Flight of the Albatross.
Howard Sargent, of Cambridge
Mass., who has had opportunities for
studying tho movements of tho albatross
for consccutivo days, things tho prevail
ing idoa that tho bird is in somo way
assisted by tho wind in his flight is a
mistake ' In attempting to rise from tho
. 1 . Jl' J- f.
waicr (no is supposeu 10 uo unauio to
riso from tho land or ship's dock), tho
albatross flaps his wings violently to got
out of tho wator; at the'samo timo pad
dling with his webocd feet, bo acquires
a degreo of momentum sufficient, with
outstretched wings, to carry him for
ward and upward upon an easy Incline
During this first rise, says Mr. Sargont,
ho will gonornlly givo a fow heavy, lazy
(laps, and then stretch his wines steadi
ly to their full extent. Aim rises, ho
must gradually loso his acquired mo
mentum. When it suits bra to acquire
moro momonJ5m,by a-jniVqment of
his tail ho takes a shoot downward at
any anglo that suits' his convenience,
still with outstretched wings. By this
downward movemont his velocity Is rap
idly inoreasod, and bo soon acquires suf
ficient momentum to carry him to a
Digit equal to or greater than that from
whloh ho started tojtako his 'downward
flight. ByUhls .wavo-llke' 'iajotlon bo
will travol day aftor day for hundreds
of miles, porhaps giving at long and ir
regular intervals a fow' lazy flaps with
his lmmonso wings.
Why doos(a lawyer never sleopP""B
JMWw?9 1168