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The County paper. (Oregon, Mo.) 1881-1883, April 07, 1882, Image 3

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn90061416/1882-04-07/ed-1/seq-3/

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St. Nlcholn forMirth
"Dewr me I" i'd Mr. 8trawb:rry Jam,
A-growIng rat red,
What a. nostii'f r untlo cmturol tin;
I (an iweelj hoi 1 up my head,
To think that I ehon d Hto to sto
An In uttonVrcd, like th , to it el
To at I should be placed on tte vcr lane ihel
(Oh e earl IhardljrkitwmycH)
Br tbo nldo of t''t cd'oua Blackberry Jam
That vulgar, cosmos, Blakbcrry Jaml"
Bo ehc fumel ni frct'o J, hour by hour,
Jrowl:it less antltcs contented,
Tllhcrlemp r broimesolhorough'y lour
T.ll sho a last fcrnv nt d.
While Mr. Blackberry Jam ket it'll,
And let her liavj her sav,
Kcptiqle lica t, asb'acUborr'.ts will,
And grow iwect r every '.
Hastened to open her itmwbcrry pot.
"Ob, what a horrlblo mcisl Dear-dear
Not n bcrrr lit lo cat Is here.
After all," putting It down villi a tlatn,
"Nothing will keep UUogood Blaikbctry Jam,
Honest, reliable, BlacUbcrryJatn."
Mrf. Strawberry J. went Into tho pall;
Oh my what n dire disgrace;
And the pig ntc her up, w Ith n switch of his tall
And a troubled cxprcsil' n of face.
While Blackberry J., In a lovely Rlass dlih,
8at along with the bread and honey,
And thoL-ght, whllo happy as heart could wish,
"Well, thing turn out very funny I"
True Story t Their I) lllcitlllra on Arrntint
ofTliclr Mutual Mnah.
By HU1 NjC.
CIIAtTr.lt !
" Tboromnllofitoiy of Damon runl Py
thias, which bus been celobrntod In
verso and song for ovor two thousand
year?, is supposed to bavo origlnatod
during tho reign of Dtonysius I. or
ionysins tho Elder tis ho was also call
ed, who resigned about 850 years B. C.
Ho must liavo beon called "Tho Elder"
moro for a jolto than anything olso as
ho was bv inclination a Unitarian, ai
tuoiigh'Tio was novcr a mombor of any
church whatever, and was 'in fact tho
wlckodost man in nllSyrucuso.
DionyBlus nroso to tho throno from
tho ranks, nnd used to call himself a
solf-mndo man Ho was tyrannical,
sovoro nnii selnM-, as all solf-mndo men
nro. Stlf-mntlo men nro very prono
to usurp tho prorogatlvo of tho Al-X
mighty and overwork themselves.
Thoy aro not satisfied with tho position
of division superintendent of creation,
but thoy want to bo most worthy high
grand muck amuck of tho cntlro ranch,
or their llv s nro gloomily fi.zles.
Dionvoius was indeed so odious and
overbearing towaid hU subjocts that ho
Hvpd In constant fear of assassination
at thoir hands. Tills fear robbed him
of his rest and rondcrod llfo a dreary
wnslo to a tyrannical king Ho lived in
constant drend that each previous mo
ment would bo followed by tho succeed
ing ono. Ho would cat a hearty sup
por and retlro to rest, but tho night
would bo cursed with horrid ('roams of
of thoSo3thlansandWhilo Hvor Utos
pooling off his epidermis and throwing
him Into a boiling cauldron with rod
noppcr nnd othor countordrrltants,
whllo thoy danced tho Highland fling
around this royal barbecue.
Even his own wllo and children woro
forblddon to enter his prcsenco fot
fear that they would pnt "barn arsenic"
in tho blano maugo or "Cosgrovo nr
ionlo" in tho pancake or paris grcon in
tho pie.
During his roign ho had constructed
an immon8o suidorranoan cavernous
arrangimont called tho oar of Dlony-siu-,
becauso it resomblcd in shape and
gonoral telephonic power tho human
cur. It was tho lorgost ear on record
One day a workman expressed a doslro
to erect a Hmllar ear of tin or galvan
Ircd iron on old Dl hlmtclf. Somo ono
"blowcd on him," and tbo uxt mora
ine his head was thumping about i" tho
waste paper basket at tno genorai ohkw,
Wh An mm of the klnff'fl Blll'loOtS, who
thoncht ho was solid with tho adminis
tration, would say: "Boyond tho possl
bilityofn doubt, Your Most Sorono
Highness Is tho kind nnd loving guar
dian of his pwplo and tho idol ol his
subjecis " Ills Itoynl Tallnoss would
say: "Whatyo givin1 us? Do you
wish to play tho Most Subliuio Ovorsecr
of tho Uulvorso and General Ticket
Agent Plenipotentiary for a Chinaman?
Ha! You cannot iill up the King of
Syracuao with taffy." Then ho would
order tho chief ox cutioner to run tho
man through tho royal sausngo grinder
and thriw him into tho Mediterranean.
In this way tho sausngo grlndor was
kept running night and day, and Iho
chief engineer who run tho, machine
mndo doublo tirao every month.
I will now biing in Damon and Py
thias. Dann and Pythias wcro naniod af
ter a populaifecnA organization bo
causo thoy woro so solid on each othor.
Thoy thought moio of ono nnotbor than
anybody. Thoy borrowed ohowlng to
bacco, nnd wi ro always eoclublo and
pleasant. Thoy slept togolhor, aud
unitedly "stood off" tho landlady hi
anpnth to month in tho most "cuUbrful
and harmonious manner. If Pjtlila
enorod in bo night llko tho blast of a
fog-horn Damou did not got mad and
kink bin in thii stomaoh nssomo would.
IIo gently but flmly took him by tho
lioso and lifiod him up and down tot tbo
merry lhythm of Tlio' Bablos in our
Thoy loved ono another in m ason and
cut of soaeon. Their affoetion was llko
Uio soft bloom on thu noso of a Wyom
ing lP(;Wriliir. Itnovrgnw pulo or
V 11 tod, K was alwajs thorc.
Damon wcro at tho bat Pythias was on
deok; If Damon wont to the church
fair and Invited starvation, Pythias
would go, too, nnd voto on tho hand
somest baby till tho First National
Bank of Syracuso would rofnso to honor
his oheoks.
But ono day Damon got too much
budgo nnd told tho venorablo and
colossal old royal bummor of Syracuso
what ho thought of htm. Thon Diony
Blus told tbo chief ongineor of tho saus
ngo grlndor to turn on steam nnd pro
paro for business. Bus Damon thought
of Pythias, and how Pythias hadn't so
much to llvo for as ho had, and ho
mado a compromise by oflorlng to put
Pythias In soak whilo tho only gonuinu
Damon wont to soo his girl, who lived
at Albany. Threo days wcro given him
to get around and redeem Pythlats, and
if ho fallod bis friend would go to pro
test. ciiaiti;u tit.
Wo will now supposo thrco days to
havo clapsod slneo tho preceding chap-
tor. A largo parly of enthusiastic citi
zens of Syracuso nro gathered around
tho grand stand, nud Pythias is on tho
platfouu, cheerfully taking off his coat.
Near by stands n man with a broad-nxc.
Tho Syracuso Silver Cornot Hand has
just plarcd "It's Funny When You Fool
Tlint Wny," and tho chaplain has mado
a long prayor, Pj thins sliding a trade
dollar into his hand whispering to him
to glvo hhn his monoy's worth. Tho
declaration cf Indopondonco ha3 boon
read nnd tho man on tho loft is running
Ins thumb playfully ovor tho odgo of his
moat-axo. Pythias takes off his collar
and tio; swearing softly lo himself nt
his miserable luck.
f'llAlTKlt IV.
It is now tho proper Umo to throw in
tho solitary hot scmou. Tho horizontal
bars of goldon light from tho sotting
sun gleam nnd gllttor from tho domo of
tho court house nnd batho tho grcon
plains of Syracuso with mellow splon
dor. Tho billowy plies of lloecy bronzo
in tho eastern sky look soft nnd yield
ing, llko Sara Bernhardt. Tho lowor-
lns herds wind slowly o'er tho lea, anil
all naturo seems opprossjd with tho
soli mn hush and stillness of tho sur
roundings and cugullliig horror.
Tho solitary horseman i3 seen com
ing along tho Albany and Syraciuo toll
road. IIo jabs tho Mexican spurs into
tho foamy il-ink of his noblo Ctiyusn
plu. , and tho lash of tho quirt as it
moves through iho air sings n merry
Damon has boon dolayod by road
agf nts and washouts, and ho is a littlo
behind tlmo. Besides, ho fooled u lit
tlo too long nnd dallied In Albany with
his fair aazollo. But ho ia making up
tlmo now, and ho sails into tlio j nil
yard just in tinio to tako his part. He
and P)thlas fall into each other's arms,
borrow a chow of llnc-cut from oneh
o.her, and weep to slowmusle. Diony
slus comes boforo tho curtain, bows,
and says tho i xorclso will bo postponed.
Ho ordorcd tho band to piny something
soothing, gives Damon tho appoint
ment of superintendent of nubliu insti
tutions and Pythias tho Syraotiso post
oflleo, and everything is lovely. Or
chestra plays something touohlul, enr
tain comes down. Keno, In hoo
usufruct Nux Vomica est.
North nnd Sontb, Before and After tho
In "Oddities of Southorn Llfo," con
tributcd by Mr. Henry Wattersou to
Till' Centuky for Anril, tho author hits
off in tho fullowinir happy manner thu
ohangos in sectional fooling 6ineo tho
In thoso days thoro wcro no bloated
bondholder. Wo had not oven risen to
tho dignity of tho lusuran'.o agent.
Capital was really timid, and, for tho
most nnrt, was represented In tho
South, as far as tho East was concerned,
by tho peddler, tho colporlour, and tho
vondorof lightning-rods. Thoso, who
mado themselves familiar with South
orn thoroughfares only, woro impressed
by tho manners of ourswnggorlnghoro;
thoy stood nbasnod boforo his bullying;
thoy woro nraueod by his vulgarity; bo
Ins for tho most part unvcr-od in tho
ways of tho world, except that of trade,
thoy woro bound to fall into m.stnkos
Not unnaturally, therefore, they mis
took tho f oulhor swashbuckler for tho
Southorn gontloman, and oarrlrd homo
n dsguerrootypo of Southorn llfo tftton
from their adventures, which, a: wo
may conjecturo, woro rarely of'Atlio
nb'ftfit. TlinSnnlh. nn ta nnrt. irntlilti
. , , ,
viow of Iho North from tho wnndoiVlig
miiuiionioii wuo woro uosc Known io.v
nnd thus a mu'.ual
l.t.. llo 1.1 ' t. ..
sprang into existence laicinir us lii,na
and examples, not from tho bettor
oiossos of society, but from tho .worsD
Tho truth is, that bohind theso thjjuo
plo, tho good pooplo, of tho North lUut
South lived, movrd, nnd had their Ic
ing; in tho ono soctlon, rolylng u,Jbn
personal thrlfc and industry to biiild up
fortune; In tho othor soutlon, victims
to cireumstanco rather than design, ac
cumulating dobts os they accumulated
slaves. I am suro that I am not 0iit
iefyn in this; and, indeod, events aro
verifying It. After years of contention
and war, tho obstruotlvo forces nro
passing uwny. aud what do wo seo?
Why, in Iho South, looking northward,
wo soo a race, kindred to ourselves, a
little less i ll'jal o, but hardly less geni
al, nlrotdy disciplined and t tptlpped to
strugglo against tho winds and tho
wnvo4. Iu tho North, looking south
vard, tho philosopl lo observer stes,
not a huddlo of Ihhv barlmrians, com-
pdsod in large part of murderer and
gimlilorn, but a great body of Ciirlstlun
men and women, who havo had a hard
jfl.rugglo with fnto and fottuao, bit
havo stood against tho elements with n
fortitude that contradicts tho character
Istloj formerly Imputed to them; ho
boos Iho master of yesterday (ho toller
of to-day; ho scos tho mistress o' tho
mansion, still a gentlewoman in Iho
truost sense, striving and saving, patch,
ing, piecing, nnd pinohingto mako bi t'l
ends moot; ho soes, In short, a pooplo,
born to tho luxury of n rich soil and n
warm climato, and inurod to nothing
oxoppt tho privations of disastrous war
nnd unexpected poverty, throwing
thomsolvos bravoly into tho cxlgonolos
of real llfo; nowhoro Indolont nnd Ir'le;
nowhoro domornllzod; ovory where
olioorful, nctlvo, nnd sober.
It is not of Ihoso, howovor, that I
shnll speak In theso najros. Tho homo
ly story of their ups nnd downs will
pass into tha humor of tho future I
wish to introduce hero a lowor order
to talk of tho comicalities and whlmsl
en Lies of Southorn life, ombodlod In
tho txplolts of Iho "hoivllu-r rnewn of
tho mountains," nnd tho musings of tho
oplc hero wr.o, describing himself,
said: "I am a Hghtor from Bitter
Creek; I'm a wolf, nnd this Is my night
to howl. Pvo thrco rows of front teeth.
and nary tooth ftllko. Tho folks on
Bitter Creek nro bad: tho hlchor un voit
go, tho wuss thoy arc; and fin from the
hrnd-trahr." This Ivpo is tho off
spring of a class, and, as humor Itsolf
springs from the nether sido of nature,
ho must noods play a considerable part
iu tho veracious chrouiclo of .Southern
A Dug Story. .
Krliraka Mule Jmirnnl,
A crowd walling for a trail- at an up j
country railroad station had n henp of
fun tho other day. An old man enmo
thoio with u small tin can, which ho sat
down on tho platform. Thoro was a
quiet crowd prcsont and among the gang
was a fanner with nblgyollow dog, and
n boy with his satanio majesty in his
hoart. Tho boy sot out to havo what
ho consiil rod fun. Whllo tho farmer
and tho owner of tho can woro not look
ing, ho inveigled the unsuspicious canlno
over by tho can. Then ho produced a
cord and tied tho can to tho dog's tail.
Theso proceedings woro watched by
many of tho bystando's with Peon inter
est. When tho job was dono tho boy
dr iw way to glvo the dog a ohaneo lo
run. Jsui tno a ui mm utun't. it jun
stood and looked miserable. Thu crowd
whooped to start him. Thy coin motion
attracted tho notico of tho farmer and
tho owner of tho can. Tho farmer was
awful mad. Ho mantnd to wallop who
over tied tho can to his dog, and ho was
about torolensahim. Bulheold man in
terposed. "Uun foryour lives?" ho cried.
" There's dynnmito iu that can, the min-
uto tho dtg s'artt things will bo scatter
ed round hero IIko nn ourtliquako had
called." A great change camo o'er tho
crowd. Their looks of mirthful interest
vanishod. They turnod and Hod. 1 ho dog
fawllicm going nnd started after them.
Tilo farmer was nealy frantic. He wan
tod to save his dog. but uftor hesitating,
turnod and lied, too. After lum went
thf dog, on tho gallop, dragging tho can
Tlio train camo to tho station, and tlio
old man who had not Ilud, bonded it
and left. Finally tho can got (totatched
from f.ho dog's tall. Then tlio terror of
tho mob had subsided. Somebody ills
covered that tho cover of the can had
como off. Tho can contained only two
oi'gs. Half tho crowd had intended to
take tho train, but had lost It. Thoy
couldn'. got at tho old man for ho had
gono on tho train. Butihoy took hold
of that boy, and villo two held him tho
othors took turns with tho thinglo. His
yell was heard two miles away, and tho
hide on certain parts of him U all tlicd
out. Ho won't try to nmuso a crowd
Br.ici iilleldN Mnuy-iiiikdii fs-
The Century.
Again wo must diHor from Hcrr
Braudcs in thu nsorlion that Disraeli
was lacking In tho "many-siilcdnosi" of
ttoJow. Piitno-Mlnlstor of England,
poot, novelist, orator, satiiist, wit, and
dandy, the leadir of tho Tories and thn
'writer of a novol ("Sybil") which Heir
Brandos says is "a confession of sym
pathy with tho Chnrtlsts," and contains
"passages tnat remludono of Ijisalle,"
tho author of "a littlo mnstcr-picco of
composltnn ("Jxloii in rioavon' ) a
classic model which Heluo might havo
envied," and of poeim (iu "Venetia")
"not unworthy of Shelly," tho chief of
thu Conservatives and tho enthu&lastio
ohnmplon of Byron and Shelly as op
posed to tlio cant and stupidity of Brit
ish society, -in tho name of Pro'.ous,
havo wo not hero enough, on Heir
Bryndesi' own showing, to tstnblh Dis
raeli's o'alm to mauy-slilodness 'of sym
pathy and mind?
And yet tho f.iot remains that Disraeli
was nol n llrat-ejass man; his qualities
woro not thoso of tho world's heroos; I o
poss scd talent, rather than genius; he
was a sagaeloui politician aiming nt
solf aggrandizement, not a who states
man buildlug his monument in ontlur
ing aoU of publio survlco; and tho study
of his career is oaloulated to dszlo, or
entertain, oven to nmus., rather than
lo elevate, to stimulate, or to ennoble.
Bat do all thoso derogatory facts pro
cludo LI oi from being considered a
representative Jew? On tho contrary,
wo tLimc tioy tend to oonilrm his title.
On hor return from Sunday morning
sorvloo. Peroy's mi thor told him that
Mr. F. pruauho'l about tlio importance
of parents bringing their children to
meeting, nnd that he would havo to
go hereuftor. Tho critical eight-year-old
replied in anxloi s tones: "I don't
want to, ma; I never hoard a sermon
iu that churoli iu my llfo thai. I liked."
Alone! to land aloneupon that shore!
With no oi.e In sight that we have seen It fere;
Things of a different bun
And sonnds all new,
And fragrance so sweet tbe soul miy faint,
Alone! Oh, that first hour of beings sdntt
Alone ! to (and alone upon the shore I
On which no wavelets Hp, no billows roir,
Perhaps no shape of ground,
Perhaps no tight or sound,
No form or earth our fancies to arrange,
But to begin aUno that mighty clunge.
Abni 1 to land upon t at shnr !
Knowing lo wo'l we can re urn no nvrr.
Novoleoorfacoir irlend,
Noni wltl u. t at-end
Our disembarking on that aw'ul s tan 1,
Hut to arrive a ono I nucha lint! e
Abnl to 'nnl upon that lure,
To bt'gln a ono to Ivof revcrmor1,
To have n ono to leach
T. ounn en f thitpo'c'i
Of fiat new I 'e, or piitumtotirra'c;
Wou'dwo might iliclija More mp.itilp . I
Aloiif No, Ood 1-ft'h been here Ion; before,
Ktcrnally Intimated i n Hut shore
K r us w o wcro to toxv
To our t rnal Iiotc;
Anil he hath taught h's nngo's to prjpt re
In th.it way we are t be welcome tlcrc.
Klrrtrlral .Science,
Among tho many unexpected dcvel
opomonts i.f electrical scienoo is a ap
plication to tho hiving of bees when
thoy sivni in, fttccefsfully tried by (ior
man experimenters. By Introducing
thn ends of two connecting wires Into n
fully oceuplod honeycomb, nnd laming
on thn current, tho beci were rendered
inacllvo for about thirty luinutof, which
nilmlttcd of their hi Ing safely hnmllod.
whilo no bad roiults appoared to follow
their awakening.
Arlmtin Witt,.
Tho principle of wnter rising In ar
tesian wells is that prceolating through
provlous strata, such ns sand, gravel or
clinlk, tho watorlsflnallyai-j-csted by nn
Impervious stratum of rock or clay,
thus causing It to aeeutnulato iu tho
previous stratum above, as in u reser
voir. When this source of supply is
lilyhcr than tho spot whero tho well Is
bom I, or hlahir than tho depth to
which it is bored, tho water will riso to
the ratrfaeo, or ovou considerably above
Clirmiio rminril l.c.illirr.
Exporiiiunts siimv that the now
ohroniu leather tho re-, ill of tho now
tanning process by bl-chroma'o of pot-
asu-oxceeils in trnsilo strength thu
bark-tanned article: also, that after it
liMssotundor Iho lioci-tMry strcs, it
still retains an extraordinary amount of
elasticity, which is avallablu for tight
ening machlmry belting on pullejs.
As i lustrntlng this statement, tho fact
is shown that a piece of eliromo loathcr
boro an ultimate sttcss of !1 297 pounds
per equaru inuli, while a pioeo of bark
I'tuthor only boro an ultimate sin s of
1! 07-' pounds por s piuro inch this ex
ample proving the snmpl- s of ohrniii
tanned leather to bo stronger than tlio
barku-tanned by somo liftecn per cent.
1'rneriliiK Irroi CaHtlups,
A procefS f irprusL-rvIiuiio.i castings
is thus deserlbod in Iho Mmitcur tvilu.t
(rid: Tlio nriiolois treated with tlilutod
hydrochlorio acid, which dissolves tho
lion nnd leaves a thin skin (Irmly adho
riug to tho fcti'fjco. It is then submit
ted to tlio actio i of hot or cold water,
or stoara, which Is btttir, to tlissolvu or
removo tho uliloii le of iro.i which has
beon formed, nud is next thoroughly
driod nud treated with a solution of
India rubber, gutta-percha, or rosin
dissolved I u i.urAllluo. When tho para
(lino has evaporated there remains n
solid coating, which may be enameled.
A vitreous enamel mny bo produced on
tho suif.ico by Immersing tho Iron, after
treatment with tho acid, in ,v batli i f
silicate and borato of so la. 'I.'hi-ro i-
ih' n produced a very liardnn l halibut
P.itsons in Canned Fruits,
From il.o proeeedlngi of tho Match
meeting of tho Acndoniy of Seienco, at
Dos Mouios, wo tako tho following:
Mr. BuiIo brought somo empty to
mato cans to show how tho acids had
acted upon tho tin nnd mado a poison
element in tho fruit. This gave riso '.o
different linos of Inquiry and opened up
a wldo lijld for discussion. What was
tho poison generated? Dr. Held said
tlio juice of tomatoos contains three
acids, to-wlt: citric, mallo and oxalic
Citrlo nnd malic acids nro not ranked
ns poisons, but ox ilio acid is a power
ful poison. It is thu strongest no d of tlio
threo, and henco oxulato of tin would
probably bo tho poUon generate I in to
mato cans. Prof. Carey Btid that ho
and seme of hlsohemUtty students had
mado a test of perhaps thirty different
samples of tin, and in ivory caruthey
had found the tin itself largely adulter
ntod with lead, which is a much cheap
er metal. He mado soiuo acid tosts ou
tho tins bfnught tliern by Mr. Bailey,
aud showed to thn mooting tho chomlo il
proof of lib stateuiont about tho lead
udulterutlon of tho tin material wl.Ioh
tho oans nro mado from. Hero was a
now rovulatbn of tlio steady and slow
poisoning which is going on in families
that uso (nrgoly of nillulous canned
fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. . Every
can will contain si me lead iu solution;
and In Johnson's Cyolopaedla wo find
this Matcmcnt; 'Tnu constitutional
effeots of load aro wholly poisonous, aud
aro brought ou by a slow and stonily
in pri'gnadon of thu system with tho
uiotal." -Prof.
Carey nlso stated that ho had
takuu gr-ii ery plukloi that wuro put up
in bottles, nud by oliomloal U hd had
found metallic copper which they held
in solution put there by tlio mnnufnj
iu-or to glvn ihem their rich j-,rouu col
or. D.. Thomas said thut copper, tin
or load taken iuto t'uo svs'.em in solu
tion produoo paralyti) nnd othor norvo
diseases, bcsldos Indigestion, constipa
tion, niddoblllty. Judge Fulton pre
sented n rocont urtlclo from theiifu.
trial Hour, oiling mny of tho poisons
usod in tho mnnnfaotnro of food, cloth
ing, confootlonary, oto., mostly for col
oi Ing tho articles riohly and thus mak
ing thorn moro salablo and nlso moro
poisonous. Thousands of enscs of sick
ness, if thoy could bo trncod, would bo
found to originate from cnusos liko
these, and ospoclally so In diseases of
t'nplntn ltmcttK itrniliioenrf
Flftyycnrs ago Capl. I.saao N, Bns-
sett entered t, o sorvico 'of tho United
Stales senato as n page. Ever slneo that
tlmo ho has remained in tho scrvleo of
tho sennto. From a pago lio has bo
becem1' tho captain of tlio senate pages.
Ho Is ono of tho best known figures In
thn sennto. Ho occupies during tho
session, a chair nt tlio right of tho pre
.'IdlngolHeor. Tiioro holsnlways ready
to attend to tho confidential mes
sages or orrands of the senators, nnd It
Is from this post that ho trios to direct
the unruly pages supposed to be ittulor
his control. His tall erect figure, llow-
mg white beard nnd dignified manners,
givo him tho nppoarancuof a patriarch.
lor years this old gentleman has been
hard at work oolloctlng material for a
book of romlnisconcesof his fifty joars
employment in tho soualo. Tho senate
snuff-box, ono of tho ancient Institutions
of tho senate, is also in charge of this
faithful subf.rJInate. In momory of t :o
day when his fifty yoars ofi torvico
was readied, tho senators havo united
in presenting through Senator Bayard,
to tho venorablo captain a handsome
uold snufi'-box valued at $'.'00, It bears
tho following Inscription:
"hfto'i member of tho 1'nited S!a'.es
senate has joined in presenting this
testimonial to Isano Bassott, on tho
comnlotionof tho fiftieth year of his
sorvcios as an fllcor of that body, in
recoil Won nf his porsonal worth nnd
otUelul fidelity. Dec. C, LSSl."
In acknowledgement of this valuable
gift, Captain Bassett nddrossod Mr.
llayi-rd as follows.
' I havo this day received from y tt as
iho organ ot your as loiato sunntor, a
buautiiul snuff-box, tendored to me as
you plen.s.'d to oxpro? s it, for my fidel
ity in your service as a Mibotdinato
oil! .-or iu your body. 1 fully appreciate
thogiftasnot only intrinsically valu
able but for Hie nattering terms in
which it has been presented to mo. I
accept your gift and tho kind c.pn s
sions of grind-will ihiet: you so touch-
ingly and feelingly express, and so long
as llfo lasts shall rotaiu it as a souvenir
of tho estimation which tho members
of tiio senate havo placed upon my poor
Hirvi es mono o' their subordinate
ollicers, and when death shall still my
lieart s last emotion, 1 shall transmit
unimpaired not only the token, but the
kin I graceful expressions of your feel
ings nccom pan slug the gift, tomychild
run's childron, to tho last get eratiun.
Permit me, in thi. connection, to recall
tome rcmnisceiices of Iho senate and
Us presiding ollleors iu tho past. When
Marl in Van Uuren was vice president
ho was possessed of a gold snull'-box.
lie gave it to mo it. charge, lo teep
well-filled with suuff, aud soe that It
was placed ou tho vico president's tablo
very day tiiatthosonatu was In session.
At tho end of ovory woi k thoroaf tor ho
handed mo AO conts to pay for tho snuff.
Wnen his term expired I gave him tlio
snuff-box. Ho lift tho city soon after,
and forgot to givo mo tho 60 conts that
ho had handed mc at iho end of each
week. Henry Clay wan very fond of a
pinch of smil)', find enjoyed it much.
- iio would urtuu slop ill the midst ot n
spoeoti and call on a page to bring him
a p noli of smirt, and if ho could not
eo itnyof.thopjges ho would leavo his
seat and walk up to tho vico prosiJtnt's
tablo, tako up Iho goldsuuff-box, tako a
pinch, nnd, returning lo his seat re
sumo his speech. Richard M. John on
and John Tyler woro neither of them
siniil'urs, and therefor I had to furnish
my own snuff-box; but whou George M.
Dallas was vico president ho brought
with him a very haudeomo gold snuff
box and gave it to mo in ehargo, and
aflor hii term expired I returned it to
him. Whon Millard Fillmore was vico
prosldont ho objoetod to having n snull'
box on tho tablo of tho vico president,
bt-'eauso, hi his opinion, it interfered
with tho businoss of tho senato. Sena
tors w..uld como up and stop and eon
verio with oae i othor, and disturb him
so much lie could not hear what was
going on in tho senate. Erorsltico that
porio 1 thoro has bcenplaeed on oaoh
si lo of tho senato a sniull snull'-box fast
oaod to tho wi 11."
To Keep duller Sound.
In tho report of tho Vermont Dairy
men's Association, Mr. X, A. Willard
stated that he know from actual txpori
encu that good butter put up . after tho
following directions V1I1 keep iu sound
condition ono year; Use f r n package
a tub Eoaiowhat tapering with heavy
staves and pr, vldod at both ends, to as
make a paokago that will mt leak. In
packing, tho tub Is turned on tho small
end, nud n sack of cotton cloth is made
tb 111 tho tnb, aud i ito this thu butter Is
piiokod until it reaches t within an inoh
of tho groove for holdlnsr tho upper
head. A elotli is next LI I upon tho top
of thn butter unit the odgis of thu saok
brought ovor this and neatly pros3od
down: then tho head is put In I's p aco
nnd tho hoops diivun home. Tno pack
age Is no v turnod upon tho largo end
the buck of butter dropped down, leav
ing a spacoou iho sides aud top. Strong
brlno Js thon poured through aholoin
the small ond and until It will float tho
button Dm holo Is tightly corked, and
tho buttor Isprotly off.tctualJy oxcludod
from tho nlr. Where only a smoll
quantity .f butter Is to bo prosorved, L.
B. Arnold advises packing I: in solf-soal-
log fruit jars. By this plan a littlo brlno
U put Into tho jar, which is thon paokod
not quito full of granulated butter. Somo
bloaohcd muslin Is laid ovor tho buttor.
thon tho ll'.tlo placo abovo flllod with
salt, nnd finally onottgh strong brlno,
mndo from buttor salt, poured in to fill
tho can. Mr. Willard ndvlsas, wl.on
packing roll butter in jnrd, that tho
brino bo made strong enough to bonr an
egg. To thrco gallons of this brine ho
suggcsl.s ndding n quarter of a pound of
white Mignr and ono tnb1o?poonful of
saltpetre. Boll the btlno nnd whon It
Is cool strain carefully. Mako tho but
ter Into rolls and wrap ca"h roll separ
ately In v, liito muslin, eloth. Pack tho
Jar full, weight tho buttor down, and
8Ubtn"rgn In brine.
Two L'lienp Jleilicines.
Ono of tho cheapest medicine- that
mortal can use Is sleep. It h nsov-
ereigii remedy for weakness; it relieves
languor; It cures rf-'lesnoss, tuio.i-!-no.,
nnd irritability; It will rjtnodv
headache: it r-lso etire.s nervousness.
Whon weary wo should icst, when ex
hausted wo should sleep. To resorl to
stimulants I- -.ileidnl: what woarv mnn
need is sleep. Thn lack of sleep causes
neuralgia, paralysis, Und insanity.
Many a person ules for want of sleep,
anil tho point whero many n sufferer
turns his feet from tho very gates of
death to tho open path of life is whero
ho sinks lo sleep. Of nlmost uvery sick
man it may bo said, as of Lazarus, "If
ho sleep, ho shall do well."
Another excellent modleino is sun
shine. Tho world ronulros innrfl nf It.
morally and ph-ica1ly. It I- more
sootl i lg than morphine, moro potent
tf.ati poppies, it is go.-.d foi liver com
plaint, fu- neuralgia, for rheumatism,
f r mt lanc'joly -for ei erythlng. Mako
your room sunny and cheerful; bul'd
your house so as lo command tlio sun
light all day I inr.
WIT A.'IHIl..UO!t.
Once upon a tittiu a woman died, and
as tlio ni'iurneru voro carrying hor lo
tho grave thoy tripped against a slump
and let the coffin fall. Sho revived,
having beon only in a derp trance. Two
yi'tiw after she really died, and as thoy
woro carrying her ttown tho samo road
and netted tho name stump tho discon
solate widower sobbed: "Steady, boys!
.Steady there! Be very, very oaieful!"
Those popular gentlemen nnd ladies:
r.ull-.ilt.thu-Timc, Old-Onion, Bad
Snow, Crane-in thu-Skics, Crazy-Head,
Oid-Dog. Two-Belly Tnkcs-Wrinkte,
Pretty EaK. Crnzi'.s -sister- in-I.aw,
Throwi-an E'iomy's Lodgo-open, Old
Outs, Big-Forolicad and Good-Hearted-Old-Wumnu
woro present at a rocont
social gathoring iu Montana. Tlio pre
vailing complexions wcro brunette, ana
tlio banquot was pronounced tlio most
attiiietivo Iudlan meal of tho season.
"Do you think, Mary, you could loavo
father and mother, this ploasant homo,
with all Its case and comforts, nud go
to tho far West with a young lawyer,
who has but littlo besides his profession
to d'poud upou, and with him soareh
out a now homo, which it should bo
your joint duty to boautify aud mako
delightful aud happy likothis?" Drop
ing hor head softly ou his shoulder, sho
whispered, "I think I could, Archy,"
"Well," said ho, "thoro's Tom Jones
who's going Wosl, aud wants to got a
wife. I'll meutiou it to him."
Ho escorted his sweetheart to tho gal
lory ono day and had hor picturo takon.
Sho sidected tho impression she likod
biKt, aed n few Ci!i?& n(or ft lWei.
photoj woro sont homo to hor. Whim
Charloy called iu tho evening ho askod
her how sho was p'oascd with them.
"Pretty well," sho answered, "only
they're so awfully pale; thoy don't show
tho color of my skin at all." "Oh,
never mind about that," encouragingly
nddod Charioy; "Pvo got somo yellow
ochromo and will touch ora up for
you." Thon a big gulf scorned to open
between them, and it romains opon
In a railroad car tho Teats woro all
full oxeopt ono, which was occupied by
a pleasant looking Irishman, nnd at ono
of tho stations n eouplo of evidently
woll-brod nud intelligent young ladlos
camo iu to proouro seals. Sooiug iiono
vacant, thoy woro about to go Into tho
next car, when Pattiok mtoso hastily
and offered tbom his seat, with evi
dent pleasure "But you will havo no
seat for yourself," responded ono of tho
young ladies with u smile, ho3itatlng
with trite politonoss, to nccopt it.
Nivcr mind that!" said tho gal
lant Hil ornlan. ' I'd rido upon a cow
calolur to Now Yorlt any timo for a
smile from such jlnllomanly ladles."
Two old Indies wcro sitting beforo Iho
lira ongngod iu silent thought Foully
ouo of them nroso, wout to tho niindow
nud, soauulug tho appearauco of naturo
outside, said: "Betsy, 1 boliovo It's
going to rain." "No suoh thing," re
turned tho othor, "tho sun's shining and
there's not a cloud to bo seon." "Cuti'c
holp that," romniod hor oompotilui,
tho tin rooster on 'Squlro Gilbert's
barn is p'intln' straight toward tho
east, and that s a suro sign of n storm."
Betsy turned as she said this, aud look
ing her Mpiaro In tho f,co with n con
servative expression, exclaimed: "Lor'
Bikes, Jane, how oan you be so super
tltiousT Wo imi-ii b in uoiii'iuuus to u man ns
wu are to a picture, whluh we aro will-.
Inrto glvo thu ndvuntago of a good
"I know," said tho littlo girl to her
oldor sister's young man at tho supper
tablo, "that you will join In our society
for tho protection of littlo blids, bo
causo mamma saysjou aro very fond
of larks."
A littlo four-yoar-old girl did not obey
whon hor mothor first called hor. So
l hor mothor callod very sharply. Thon
sho camo in aud said: "Mamma, Pvo
boon very kind to you to-day, and I
don't want you to spoak so largo lo
A Very Sovoro Coso: Tommy "Ohf
oh! ohlniammn, 1'vo ruunod a gtont big;
splinter In my hand, and it hurts so
oll'itl I ean'tgo to school!'' Mamma
"But, my denr, mamma doesn't sco
anything the matter." Tom uy Ohlohf
.on I guess It must bo za uztur hand.
A youngster who has seen four sum
mers nnd nbout threo quartir.s of ns
many wlutors, was taken to tho Art
Musoum thu othor afternoon, nnd was
much impressed with tho casts of ancient
statuary therein. Sho comml.ssoratod
thenrmlons condition of Venus of Milo,
and expressed much eolicitudo concern
ing tho unforlurato person whoso body
appears deprived of head, arms and
legs. Finally she paused beforu tho
C'apitollno Wolf, from which Knnutus
nnii K.-mu-i aro represented as drawing
sutemini'e. Sho was much puzzled by
his work of ait, nnd viewed It careful
ly on all sides. At length su patted thu
unfortunate infant softly upon thoir
heads. "Poor sings," shu said with
gteat pity. "1 s'poso your 'niUitzor
wasn't good to you, nud wouldn't let
you have nnysin olso."
It many times fnlls out that wo deem
our solves much deeoivod in others, bo
eauso wo first deceive oursolves.
Character would ba impossible whero
tiiero is no temptation.
nil I'Kli MA l . .tnr. . ,.-. u.i ..... !
JJ,uuilti,i J u. nniiitnTo- Ji i;n.. Mtm.
-S27s- rnrlliiftn'MdtltinOMnrt&IkaO
.CLCCCCit AdOrn-n C. iU Li kn DuUuquu, (ft-
jflVt wofl tit llf1 M. firth mvy.
'.'ii in.li. .tit 4 1 iii r. UMi n ii.
I. TrrU.rt I, Urn. 1 1' I
tkcr1t forcmr MuiiIm, ul kt ptMMd. r
lti4 OMMtlhlT ! K i to pr uunm U llnM.
TSfK rUOlllitSaiTM AUK. AtlMta.
iiBPta rtiplrt 2a cieat rfc. AuriN
TSfK rUOlllitSaiTM AUK. illu
ii f.ri
I Isfl" l-S 1 AT Vl.lllllli: ut lliu l..iri-m,
I i;v. itiiici::.-s- iimi roit.
hst Titiir.ss.fviTiiir
ti itnltv i-f rum httitu. -I'd tni for Niir-rs'iti
-i in thf- iimi,-. I iinKi-i
I'd lni for N tir-i-rviiii-n.
nnii fur plnti nv Fl-1 1 (-S IS (Ml tis, wry rhmn.
. I'll. I'l NI'.V, hnin!i-rtii Uiu-. II, ,r Ci, . U'N.
.t .llOM'll I'Olt
M i, . I.iiillt an I Aconlf, nklns Onli-r for Lmryiij ti
rfll IMfiPIKfll I r"lnllilrliiy ..i-uuueii
LUL. liSUUIiaUL,L, ,--r,ni, victiirliiiK,"
row Hi-, most ixnulr r MM" llin.lt In Ilia
11,1,1. Until n SMI r:i.(i nnl uSWKIU). VA'tr-
iHMl.VMllllt.ll LllW l'lll K, IJVIL'K ttALEJ. IIBcqJ
lor Clrculiir nnd li-rin ......
r. v. '.i kc.i.K' a i:o, . i
1KII II. Aiiajis Sr . 1,'mrA Ii.i.iwom
Trill BotO of Dr. Tlfl' dfTTSITlA.
r.E.Nn-prft run fnr ir.l 1.t:1
illlMrat t'lin: I'l iM"'" to LLJ ocf
ifliclod. Lxrgo Uiillf- fi-r Ml by ill drcx
glut. AddrMi-Dn. TAFT 111(1)3., naft
t.lrr. M. T r 71 Vf. nullum CL. Cfelc-
to. IU.
BreBflsrot'TroHiVg' Horses
Lowe Run Farm, Muscatlns, Iowa,
Ilomi-nt Tit VI'. micof l-nimrii Inp, S:fli l'rla
a 3il(, L'u l Slimri. J:.V.'l. I! i'Uji 3s W. etf
TI.AII' Ih I nliriil in AM IIhii. Ilk" ll'irul i, ulrooJ
Mnu.1 , i:l.i!J ami Ike OjM.iiiltti M ilJ. 'i:U
Thu liriHkl in irr Iik'IuiIh -l on liuri lo tarin
Willi r.curU, un li r'JMI. f l.- n uiiulili-n of Un,-,ii,
lla.ttiiw, rt-of 'Uin'. :up-r onniirAi ilirfd''..UKli-h-riiot
Din lliiti. i-lii' oi tio i:: nerf ,rnii-ii mil
iiauKlil. r f li'ilH-tt Mi-iin irnr, SiW om- of Cpl'ln.
uuruf SklnVK-'D llimlili-t 'Mm. iitmi ituu oil
of tin! ilmn of l'rtlu-irt, -J::ll(i l-in dam of apt.
Stnu t, i-Mii Ui'i itaiu of Tramp Jr., Syoari, 11:17.
ami ottn'M. Vfiiint; -iiirk fur HhIi-. lu:iuuum
will hu M'nt on application.
inc. 'X'. riu.ix (jocilvi;
Oriental Cream, or Magical Purifier.
Ib-tnavca Tnn.
Muili I'litcli,,
I'lMipli iijiiI
hricHi", ty"l
n lH-4tutr. &a,l
li'llin .a;;w
to".. Tl Ii a r
Siooil flic tint
of ;jo yi-um
ii il In ai
lmnnlrit wo
luiui u lo liu
irt! Ih pn-p
a r n 1 1 o n in
pr fully mmle
A u c ii t no
crri-u or
r n mc
II .1 111. III!.
culahcd r)r
L A. Sayro
iijittcntlt un l
iHJitH ictti M ( hm, t it? Httiiir nf ' i'ttiftati c'ri-im-tji
cfie lei harmfu vf nt the Mi -1 -tutru on,"
One l ittp- w II In-i hK mon h-, minx It entry ftur.
Alio I'uuilroMilitlli- Kinuun .iipvrilaj.i-Uilr wiihjui
Injury to ih-Mn. i
JIiik .M.ll.T. Hill. i:UIi. ol'rrip.,SllonJ.St.,N,V
Korii.ilti ly nil (IrujiHia un Knncr OojLi Di-aa-ra
lliroiiL-liout Ii Unlliui otati , L'nanilis an I Huron.-.
rc lli-uauof I'.i.l' linlia l,ii. 4 uo i:irl for
arn'wt anil pr of of any mi" ,-nln - h- ---i
fornll itltlnc Comptnlnta nnd for nil
dlsoaesa ofllio
Inc Comptnlnta
dlsoaesa ofllio
It hui speclV: (v:llo:i ca tU'j nont Important
ore .in. cnr.bU'.vr It t j thro-.v off torpiUlty aad
lnacUon, Btl-r.uUtlnc tho healthy ierctlon of
tho Sllci, uuA vy korilne t:io bgwcU la froo
condition, oOcctiDif ltd n-ipiiarrU-hnrgo.
If you aro Lilians, d7ilwpUo, coniUpitod, or
Bufllrtmr from railuU. Kiiaoy-Wo:t U tho
romcJy yottr.rcj.
PRICS SI. SOLD by onuactsTs.
Too most won4ciful dlscovrryuf tlio kxo.
And far Purifi I t ho IHivxI. llnnilMn 11m BUnwoa.
Uit, iiml KI-liK-jrt.
In. Ilio
Knull-ili, nnna and'
A. S. UDELL & CO., Proprietors,
ITroJo M.irWrt

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