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'J 4 CURED BY A LAUGH It Was a Hearty One and Better Than a Dose of Medicine. S A STOR.Y ABOUT A LECTURE. t CM' 1 o , H Ought to Hv' Bssn Funny and Sssmsd st Iht Tim to B Tunny and Vat UltrmmrA Th U.. A..-. Doubt. (a Whsthsr It Wat or Not. ; "What's your tookr Squire Dumont asked of a neighbor a they Ml wait- I ins their turn In the Tillage barber I abort, ' ' I 1 'Innocent Abroad,' by Mark Twain." waa the'Hffj. "I Just got It out of the library. I suppose yod would call it preity iignt reading." 11 "You needn't 1 n hit nshamed oMt, Mr. ritikham," raid th squire, hear! lly. "It'a n book that bss done a lot of col- It ha made thousand of peo ple laugh, am) a good langh l often better than a dose of medicine." "I've tern 'that proved?' aald Mr. rinkbam. "I went to hear Mafi Twain Motur once." be added, with1 a rerulnlsotnt chocUc . "lou don't y aor exclaimed the, qolrc. "I never bad that iteaiur' myself. It must have born n great trral" "Yea, It wii. I'm a great admirer1 rf Mark Twain" and have been fer years. I had always wasted to tee ami! hear hlio, and when I saw In n Port land pa tier that bo was to loctitrc there on n certain crriiliiK It mine over me that that was ruy tluie to go nnd hear LI in. "I had Jut lost n lawsull. nnd hit wife wn hlvny from home with a lck ltrr. I was bretly blue and lone 01110 and felt the need of being cheer- III up. "I took the aflernonn Iniln. cnlculat lug to tret to my cousin Jim' In lima for upwr nml then go lo the lecture, nut, ns lurk woiiltl Imrv II. n freight train had N-eii wrecked near llruns wick, and wo hover got Into Pur t land until 8 o'clock, However. I hurried to the ball and ld my way In mid cot a rd scat rlfht up In front I had missed some-of the lecture, but I van thankful to pet wlmt was left It ' wairjl fimith what he said, thoueh. atilM na.lit anld it that llckled inn. I laughed moro that night than I had for n year. "Well, after the lecture waa over made my way to my cousin Jlm'a. ne ha meana, ami they lire In aomo alyle. "hat J got n cordial welcome. Ol.irn. hli wife, told Die, that I couldn't see Jim that night. IIo waa onrly, and be wn a good deal worried about htm. But while wo were talking he found out f waa there and tent for me to come to Ida Tooni. I never saw any one more it the dump than ho win. I guess he complained steady fur a much a half nn hour. IIo was n very alck man. IIo didn't relish hU victuals, nnd what ho did nit distressed lilm. Night after night ho got hardly 11 wink of leep. ninl mulling lutciolis him any more. Montiwr. hIiiii Iho ilWtor gave lilm didn't do 11 mile of gii-ul It win I1 I Til I to hear him go hi I'lti.tlly ho ukel inv bow I happcuis! in ,. In rorltiiiid "So jiiii rune 11 1 in hear Murk TttiiliiV snjs lo. mid hi fine blight mil up. Ill.l .ni like filiuV H.ija he. mid I Mild. -Of inline I did. "'Nun- I rll im honestly,' siijs ho, wn that Imluro im funny im joii ex pected V 'Well; ayn I, wn funny, of eoiire. and I gue when I have had a ihuncq tn think It mcr It will win (unnler. Hut there were part of It that didn't accni 10 drcndful funny.' v "Tlien nil nt omv Jim fell bark In Ma ilwlr n nd begun to choke, and for a iiilnuti) I jvua aenred. Am aoon nn he could apeak htf any: 'That waan't Mark Twain that you Jieard, llo lectured here Inst wet'ti. What you beard; ay he. ' n lecture on the poetry of Xolwrt Urownlng y Profcuor' I forget now what Jlui callnl lit nam. Then he took to laughing ugaln, find 1 thought he'd never stop. "After that Jim wanted to know how the pooplo near mo took my laughing wo much nt the lecture, and when I re membered that aome of 'em did acowl llttl be went off again. , "Well, naturally I felt 0 little cheap, tat afterward I waan't sorry. Tha seit morning Jim an Id be bad had hi rat good nlgbt'a rett for a luonlli. and f JmiKMiUtiWAPiW iulta a breakfast. About a .fortnight after that 1 got a , letteV.lKp)blai Hying that neraa Casltof (fulut Ilk Mtnaelf aaaln. f I oon't know as my vlalt had a telng to do' wlju.lt; but; l'v alwaya felt If M did. 'In that case It goes to ov wbat .you aakl, squire, that a food Uagb I aomtline better than njjose af medicine." Youth' Companion , Hrd to Ktp Up. Tond of reading, ore your "Tea." "Head alj Shakespeare's worka, I smppoaer , , "I don't know whether I've read bl latest or not 80 much stuff coming oat the daysl" LouUrtlta Courier Journal. ( Kasplng Wlfay Orsucd. "Money lin't everytblng." "No; there are ways of getting along. Take my case, for Instance. I married into a family wbcre tber Is a tress- Sker: 'you bare no Idea what a help ttt,"-Kanaaaaty JoBrnsl. J AWl'A ' - ,. S ' ? K aaetV thing to know wMsa to ajtop, bot quit another thing ta'tak THE DAIXT COW IB OOMTKO INTO HER OWN IN AOS- 80URI. Never until thla sear has the atata of MlMourl and the dairy Intererta of the atale awakened to the Importance or the dairy tow. At the .Mlisourl Stale Fair at Hrdalla. September 2S to October ,2. there will be held the grralen butter contest ever staged In me I num. nnd for a purse of l.'OO, made up by the crtamery men of Ml' snurl themsehe. Thla contest will bring liundreda of dairy cow 10 the MlMourl state lair. Tn compete all that Is necessary la a creamery cer tificate ot rale of milk to a creamery or a creamery station. All purse In the dairy cattle classea hate If en ma lerlally( Jncreased this year. MISSOURI AND MULES ARE SYNONYMOUS AND IN. SEPARABLE. Missouri Slate Fair without mules would be n travrsly on the fame of Missouri, na the home of the best ii.ulea the world l.nowa of. Kvcry year the best of these nnlmnla are seen at Sedalla In competition with one an oilier. So single feature at the .Mis sourl State fair from September 2i to October ,2 thla fall, unlrs It Is the addle horse classes, will attract more attention than the mule section. THE FATTED CALF FARES FINE AT MISSOURI'S FAIR, Mlssuurl'a Slate Piilr nt Hcdnllu al waya brings out best among the flitted enhet, whelhvr they bo grado or registered auliniils, nnd I ho prem liima In the fat cattle section aro at tructlve to feeders who am desirous of computing for honor with their best fat nnlmals. From September 25 to October 2 thla year, I he Missouri Slate Fair will bring out Iho best col lection unci ahow of fat stock Missouri Iiiih cut seen. HOOS HAVE HOLD ON MIS SOURI FARMERS' PROS PERITY PROSPECTS. Over In the swine pavilion at the Missouri Stst Fslr at Sedalla every fall, one will And good crowds at all limes as tha Missouri hog Is such a factor In the fsrmer's material pros perity thst he Is alwaya an attractive shuw object. Ilurlng the state fair this fall, Sep tember 23 In October t, the bog classes will share in the honors and awards lo 'be made by competent and fair Judges in recognition of their contri bution towarda Mlaaourl'a wealth and her position among the states of the union In point of Industries and busi ness activity, A GOOD ARRANOEMENT. Missouri State Fair Qroundi Seo tionalized for 1015. A re arrangement or the Missouri Stste Fair grounds will appeal to ex hibitors this year In view of the fact that several Important features of the big 1915 exposition are . to have sec tions of the grounds exclusively to themselves. Bllos will have an ex clusive sectlon as will fences and ma chinery, Tha silo school, maintained by tha Hoard of Agriculture, will be particularly effective this year' with 11 the exhibits concentrated In one part of the. grounds, from September :s to October i, the fair dates (his year. . lUsK-uiix WkaVKarfV BSar aaSRBBBBBH 'BBBaV THE LITTLE FOLKS A8 WELL MISSOURI STATE line folks who are an fortunate as iw pnviiegcu 10 auenu tne .Missouri Slate Fair at Sedalla find Its crowds ind ll action and life great sights, but when they lire of the crowds and ll?,., ,,!n" "' "" ,alr "nd rK tJiiiuipn retrrannn in tii.11- un.i ri it , . 10 nnu mai ineir every desire In this direction hns been anticipated.' Not only Is there n children's hospJ tal nnd nursery In toniicrtlon with the Woman's building, hut theie has been erected ut the rtnr of the Woman's building, In a permanent and pleasant BEEF BREED CATTLE FIND 30URI STATE FAIR AT ALL TIMES. . zSsw. .Caaakw W--JF 1i'vV 4FJ&lJ'iDKtoMtlFw&yf' aaRaaisaSsin BEDKKtfJMKptmmjt saatwaDlraVaaaaaaanl Much Of Missouri's Wealth I trace, able to the beef cattle Industry for'aouil State Fair ot Sedalla each yeat which It has long been famous. The the beef breeds are Been nt their vevv olid beef breeds brought back to the annrr, wnen niarKeicm, tne money that enabled lilm to eximml his hnl.l. Ings. to build more nnd better barn September IS tn October 2 will be and houses, nml still the beef breed wotth any beef breed owner and ex aro supreme In Missouri, where they hlbttnr' time. COUNTY EXHIBITS ARE TO, BE STATE FAIR bbbKPbbOiiViIIIIIIIIII aBlllllllllllBBBBBBBBBBi slfllBlllllllll aP"tHJB(ft 'test ' Mt TaTjJs TjC gsamJ Eahrttrif H Milium JnttftmLA' gllMgb u 9JgnKtt, aaagaiaaaaaaaaaaaaaal J Far famed for Ita productions of the excellent displays of fruit and grains nrchnrd and garden as well as the feed such as are shown In tho Illustrations, lot and Held, Missouri, through Its this exhibit being from Lincoln coun State Fair Is seeking thla year to ex- ty and put nn at Sedalla aa one of the plolt Iho state by counties and to that 'best showlnga In fruit production that end each county la being solicited tolllfl, h . . . , . send an exhibit of the best It grows to ''" ev" b'e.n ,0 ,h.e ,,tt,e ,alr be exhibited at Sedalla September 25fcv)er' mrl ' beln maie " " to October 2. the State Fair week. In ye' o secure county exhibits for the the past several counties have made 1915 exposition. PERMANENT BUILDINGS FEATURE THE GROUNDS OF THE MISSOURI STATE FAIR IN PROMINENT WAY. ILaaaaW saaT1flffry ffiaaaaaaalmafi PHysflMMsBgaB BBaaaaaaaaKyBvBjBeBaBLlBBaaaanBaavsw Permanency marka every feature ot tho construction of the buildings that dot the expanse of fair grounds, at Se dalla. This Is true, with the excep tion ot tingle wooden building owned by tho state and one wooden bulldlag erected by a privet exhibitor. Cqav crete and steal and brick and stoae predominate In all other buildings on tho fair grounds and now an all-steel AfriW - UaUita. , a.aitjssWfcVssfcaia. JsikvksSiUUwl!;'i AS THE BIO FOLKS FIND THE FAIR THEIR FAIR. if crlnsure, a chllilren'a playground where nil the most modern equipment Ms arranged for their atmuemeht and recreation. Here mothers may "check" their little ones safe and secure In the assurance that they will not only be ,iii an.t ..m.. a. t... ,t... "", mmirwj n,.l ,UI, UUI IIIMt tbey an enjoying the most healthful exercise under the most plensant en vlronment. Children who are In Se dalla and the Missouri State Fair ginunda from September 2.1 to October 2 will (Ind the model playgrounds a clcllelit and Joy. MANY ADMIRERS AT THE MIS. role In knee ilven rn.. At Ml.. best and the prlie und trophies that win Im carried away from Sedalla ns Hie ienli .if iiii,nin n..,. f.,,, FEATURED AT THE MISSOURI THIS YEAR. fence, uncllmable to the Interloper who would visit the fslr from Septem ber 15 to October 2 without paying ad mission, has been erected around the entire grounded Tha Art building, shown above, while not the most pre tentious la' tha grounds by any Beans, la an example of. tha splendid type 61 permanent construction which the state ot Missouri baa atepttfl. SBSaWBJWISJSSSSSSSIl.y'flUUItSJJMMM AIRSHIP SCOUTING The Aeroplane as a Range Finder la Modern Warfare. AIDING THE MAN AT THE GUN How the Enemy Target I Located and th Information Convoyed lo th Ar tllUry Offitsrs A Codo Syttsm Thl I Simplicity Ittolf. ltangu (udltig by aviators Is a rec ognized part of modern warfare, as carefully worked out ns any other branch or the service. The big gun' range I estimated In mile nowaday Instead of In yards, ss formerly. More often than not the gunner do nut see the target at which they, are alining, and the men In' the target Utniot tt the vpot whence de etructlon Is 'being pumped at them. High hill atxl broad valley probably Intervene. Hut circling nbout In tb sir is the busy aeroplane which Is estab lishing contact between the guu and Its objective lnt. II 1 etwenUal, of course, that the man In the nlrahlp and tbe man at the gun have n constant system of euro munlcatlon. Seemingly difficult, thla ta a feat that ts luapJlcltr Uaelf. lt airship carries certain lights or smoke bombs with which II con couver Infor mation lo tbe watchers on lbs aruaad. Tbo gunner have great atrip of white material which inn U formed Into let tera of tho alphabet aud can be seen rrotn tbo airship. The rest Is merely a letter of code nuu mecli.mlcx. if tho letter X mean "otwerve for range" nnd tho letter V means "observe for effect of lire" tbe air man can convey to the marksman wuatever information tbey may de sire. Tbe flrst thing, of course, la in lM-ni tbo target. 'J'hv nlr man goes uii tu u litearniuged nltltude mid scuuti about until he nnd IU When be 1 directly over It he dropi various lights In some understood combination of numbers or colora. The nvlalor'a height Is known, nnd the dlxtaiKe nt which tho light nro dropped cuu lie ascertained br tn strumenls. The distance then between tho gun nnd the target becomes n sim ple problem of trlangulatlon. Tbe location nnd distance belne known, aa well an tho proper direc tion, the nvlutor geta the ilgual, "Ob serve for line of nro." A shell or so Ls thrown In the general direction of tbe target. Aa soon as the correct lino Is found the nvlntor gives tho proper signal and then gels tho signal to "ob serve for range." The first shell falls hort. Tho second perhaps overshoots. The third perhnpe reaches Its msrk. Tbe avlulor signals "Itange." and the real tiomliardment Is on. If tbe gunner wishes to know whelh cr hi shell are timed to explode ut tho right pliife he signals to the nvln tor, "Obiervo for fuse." If ho wishes to learn the effect of tho cannuiindo ho signals, "Obu-rvo for effect of tire," In this way n complete check of all that Is going on I obtained. Hardy, except uu tho preliminary scouting expedition, does tho nvlutor nttempt to ily over the enemy's peti tion. Onco bo ha located the target that part of hli work Is done. It I naturally tbo riskiest part, for hU np peiirttncu I eel tnlu to tunko lilm tho target for defensive aeroplane bat teric nnd probably for n duel with a hostllo aeroplane. So bu flics back Into a safer zone. Ill- ubducnt position Is decided largely by weather conditions. When tbu sun It shining ho trie to keep from being between his battery und tho sun. becnuso If tho gunner have lo face the sun to And him It Is hard for them to read tbe signal accurately. If tho sun I bluing toward thn target tho avl ator get behind bl battery. If tbe sun Is behind tho battery tbe aviator gets between It and tha target In the early maneuvers, when ho ts signaling the Hue of Are, bo tries to fly In a regular ellipse ot a stated altitude. When "observing for range" bo flics In an elongated figure 8. Tbe purpose of thla la to ensble. Mm to movs to ward tbe target In bl turn, in this wsy Ore csn be observed st every mo ment. It 1 obvious thst to Insure tbe ef fectiveness of sll tbls scientific snd mechanical knowledge muat be re quired. Modern shells are so coaa tract- ad that tbey can be exploded at any deatred height or distance. A (hell that burst too aoon Is practically val- ueleaa, wblle one that bursts too Iste loses much of Its efficacy. An error of a few feet In tbe calculation of Ibe aeroplane's height or In tbe target's dis tance would seriously Impair tbe ef fectiveness of tbe Are. Tbe coptlvo balloon Is used for simi lar observation purposes, but It la not ucarly so valuable as tbe seroplaue be cause of tbe tatter's greater mobility snd Ita ability to get right over tbe target nnd then get away agaln.-BL Units roat-Dlspatcb. Biter Bitten. "You don't seem to csre much for original ideas," said tbe would be con trtbutor, ss be gathered up hi mann- aript. "No," replied tbe cold blooded editor; "we'd rather have good ones." Boston .Transcript The Prevldnt Duffsr. Patron I want some fUb balls. Deal er What for? Patroa-I'B going out ewUnt, snd I want them to drive at tsa, water svuaraa.-jQdfs. Hasty climber bar snddaa falsv- TRENCHES IN WARFARE. Tools th Soldier Us to Burrow Inle th Ground. Trenches nre Imperative In land war fnie, and so coiiseiiieiitly nro tools for digging. Therefore every soldier car ries his own tools, with which be cuu throw np aome soil of defense, It It U only six Inches of earth, and which can. be enlarged, If necessary, Into a regu lar trench. Curiously enough, tbo trenching tool una tho Invention ot an American en gineer, llrlgadlcr General It, W. Hon hum of tbo Army of tho I'otomac. ' It was twenty-two Inches long and weigh ed n pound and a half, nnd It Is prac tically tbls same tool that Is used to day, although, of course, with modifi cations. The present model la usually lighter, the beM design being that ul by the Austrian. It Is less than twen ty Incbca In length, the blade bclne eight Inches long by, six' Inches wide, one sldo having a cutting edge and, the other a saw edge. A tool of this kind can be used by tbe soldier wblle lying down, nnd a few vigorous stroke are enough to throw up some sort of temporary protection, which can easily be enlarged If tbe position 1 to be beld. Trenching drill Is hated, more than anything els by tbe soldier In time of peace, but that same' soldier acquires a positive love for bl little spade after he has onco been tinder lire and so din- coveted for himself Ibe salutary qual ities or a little mound of earth In front of hlin. The soldier In gfloirtrench Is abso lutely ante except from well alined hrnpncl or from shells that happen to lirt In the trench Itself, which, of course. Is a rare happening, t'erhape 11 is wortn noting that tho advantage of the trench wcro discovered by Alex ander tho (Ireat Now York Tost THE COURT OF CLAIMS. Various Kinds of Caiss Ovar Which It Hss Jurididletlon. The rourt of claims of tho United Stales was established by net of con gress Feb. SI. 1SS3, nnd It wos pro vided (hot It should hnvo Jurisdiction of nil "claim founded iivon (lie con stitution of tho United Slate or any law of congress, except for pensions. or iiH)ii any regulations of nn execu tive department, or upou nny contract. express or Implied, with tho govern ment of the United Slates, or for dam ages liquidated or unliquidated, la rnscs not sounding In tort In respect of which tbe claims of the party would Iss entitled In redress against the Unit ed Stales, either In 11 court of law-. equity or udmlrnlly. If tho United Slates were surable. except claims growing out of tho lato civil war and commonly known a war ctnlins," and cei lain rejected laud claims. It tins Jurisdiction also of claims of like character which may bo roforrr-t to It by nny executive department In volving disputed fneU or controverted lUfktlniiH of law, wheio the 11 mount In controversy exceeds W.isM, elc. nnd Iheio Is im nppeul except 011 iiueitlluiit f law which may I hi sent up to litis supreme court on Iho part of Urn etc- femhiliu when the amount In con- tnnersy exceed $3,000. The llndluu-i uf fact by tho court of claims U Unal. There me provision uu in tin- nIiiiiiid of limitations after six eiirs nnd many rules nml modltleiitloiiM nf the J ml kin I 'tile. The court l.i lucnlcd ut WiishPiglnii In the old l.'nrvuuiu i.iller of Alt. oilier of IVuusylviiiila uvo'iue und Seventeenth xticcl. The teliu Im'l-Iih the llrut Monday In IVcciiihcr null J ear, nml cases may be entetisl nt uuy time, whether the court is or U not lu session. l'ltltburgh Dispatch. A Woman and Hsr 8lanatur. Ouo of tho dllllcullleM experienced by buuks concerns the signatures of wo men depositors. In starting uu ac count tbu specimen signature, for use of tho bank, will read "Mary Kmury." And Mury Kmory U Instructed that all of her check must bear exactly that signature; no other nnd no addi tional Initials. The flrst few check nro correctly signed, nnd then tbey be gin to drift lu "Mary B. Kmory," Mary Kllzabeth Kmory," "Mary Kljuibeth Smith Kmory," or with her husband's Initials. "Mrs. M. F. Km ory," Naturally trouble results. New ork Run, Whire Mspl Sugar Csmss 'rem, Mttle wonder that first class maple sugar and sirup are scarce. Only one tree Is tapped for every five people In our population. Counting both augar and sirup. New York Is the leading stat for the valuea of ita maple prod ucts, unio 1 second and Vermont third. But Vermont Is far In the lead for ma ple augar alone. Tbe maple Drodueta ot the country are worth over SS.00O.- 000 a year.-Farm and Fireside. Prank ef an Carthqusk. There waa ona curlon effort nt n seismic shock In 1888. The cobles con necting Australia' with (lift nnlu trnrtA were suddenly broken by a distant earthquake, and the government, un der tbe Impression that an enemy had cui cue uns, moouizea tne naval and military forces In readiness to repel at tack. rail Mall Gatette. A 8fauard. "Even If It doea maka you dim tn go near the water you wouldn't be In danger It you fell In." How do you make thatr "Didn't von aav tha motion nt tha waves always make your head awtrnf oaiumoro American. Clean your lncar before von notnt at 7 svettaiaaria rraBklia.-