Newspaper Page Text
'The Lincoln County Herald
FUULISllBD EVKKV THURSDAY nT LINCOLN COUNTY HERALD. TKKMS OV ADVER USING. Ono Square (10 llnes)ortess,onolnnrtlnn...$l (0 Bach additional insertion , 74 Administrator' Notices.. ,1 oil Final Settlement Notices 3 00 Stray Notices (single stray) 1 M Each additional stray In saino notice, 1 (H) jjffl" A Liberal Deduction will be inado t yenrly-adrcrtlscrs. VOL. 7. TROY, MO., THURSDAY, MAY 1, 1872- NO. SO. St.Ot? A YEAR IN ADVANCE HINOIiIi! CP1E aIVIS C13NT8. SlOR Sc CAITIPBELL, DENTISTS, 'Troy, - - Missouri. ATTEND to nil Mndt of "DRNTAL'WORK noil guarantee period satisfaction. 80-Office -Front tooin over CO. Ransdell'l IBoot and Shoo St-ro. fcb29n8 . J. C. GOODRICH. W. W. BIRKHEAD (GOODRICH Sc OIKKUE AD, DENTISTS, 'JTroy, JTlMisouri. VTR- BIRK1IBAD will be Id the office all tho iXJ lime. Dr. UOODMCH Hill only bo here (from tltno to time, due notice of which will be rjiven. Oa for the PAINLESS extraction of leeth administered at alt llraos by Dr. BirkhcaJ. August 31, 1R7I. Ton26jl' G. T. DUJTN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 3Vew"IIopcl - . - Missouri. Will practice In the Court) nf tho Nineteenth Judical Circuit.. gpeclal-attontlon given to col leettng. ' v7nl(lmCp R. C. MAGKUDEIt, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Cap-au-Gris, - Missouri. Will practice in the Courti of the Nlncteen)h Judicial District. v7nS W. C. McFARLAND, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Troy, Missouri. Will practice In tbo Courts of the Nineteenth Judicial Circuit, and will givo special attention to collection,. Oflljo Front room over J. It. Knox's -Bank. v7nl0 T . J . WEBB, ATT0R&EY AT LAW, Troy, - - Missouri. Will promptly uttontl to any legal business. Special attention given to Collecting. Oflico J. li. Allen, In old P. 0. building. v6n29ylp CH AS. MARTIN, Jr., ATTORNEY AT LAW, Troy, - - Missouri. Will practico in all tbo diurts uf Ilia Nine teenth Judicial Circuit. Special attculion given to the collection of debts. vfinS'J .J. R. U AFP. U. W. C0L1JKKT. GAFF & COL.BEIIT, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Troy, - - Missouri. Will attend to any professional business In tbo Courts of Lincoln, Wnrren, Montgomery and St. t'hnrlr", and in tho District and Supreme Courts. v7nllyl A. V. u'KEE. IIENI1V QUini.KY. K. N, ltONFII.8. McKEE, QlilliLLY & U0NF1LS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Troy, - - Missouri. Wilt practice in tho various Courts of this and adjoining counties. Special uttontlon given to collections and mattor rol.itlng to real estate. p& Office, northeast corner Main ond Cherry elreets, just below Laclodo Hotel. n30v7 J. B. ALLEN. W. T. BAKER. ALLEN & BAKER, Attorneys-at-Law, Agents Stale and Pboenlv Insurance Compaules, and Real Estate Agents, TROY, MISSOURI. JOSEPH 1$. ALLEN, Notary Public. pr25-'72nl7 B. W. WHEELER, Attorney at Law ami Notary Public, NEW HOPE, MO. Will attend to any professional business In the Courts of Eincoln, Warren, I'lko and Montgom ery counties. sep7'71n3(lyl WM FRAZIER. d- W. COLBERT. FRAZIJER &. COLBERT, Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ls, TROY, MISSOURI. Will praotice in all the courts of the Nineteenth Judicial Circuit. Special attention given 10 col lections and to the sale and purchase and leasing of real estate. Abstracts of titles, warranty deeds, deeds of trust and mortgages inodo out on short notice. Largo number of valuabio farms for rale at low prices. 5if Offico on Main street in Hansdell't building, up stairs. v 7 n 1 4 WALTON & CREECH, Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ts, TROY, MO. "Will practice in all the Uourts of the Nineteenth -Tudlolal Circuit, and the Supreme Court of the 'fUito. All business entrusted to their care will be .promptly attended to. Office over Dr. S. T. East's Drug store, Officl '&ours from 9 a' in. to 4 p. in. volOn2 LACLEDE HOTEL, TROY, MO. 1H0BNIIILL 4 Bl'SWELLi Propr's. THIS la flrst-clais hotel, furnished In goo.i style and Its table supplied with the best the toarliet affords. Strangers stopping in I roy will nd here all the comforts of home. The BAR is stocked wl'h strictly prime Li fuors, suoh h Brandies, Whiskies. Wines, Ale, Gin, etc.) also tho finest brands of Cigars, apr2in17 Final Settlement. TVTOTICB it hereby given that the undersigned, administrator of the estate of Menry lMlir,JMi(j, will mako final settlement of fcls ndui nlsti.llon of said estate at the next term r Us Probate Court o Lincoln eounty, Mo., to Uj Ifjai, w ry l 'Cf0Dd Mn" Woirt" ' SIEOaiCU WfiJIDE, ata'r. T. W. WITMOW, TROY, MISSOURI. MANUFACTURER, Off SADDLES, FINE BUGGY AND WAGON HARNESS, SADDLERS' FINDINGS OF EVERY DESCRIPTION, AM) DEALER IN Saddle and larness-Ilalvor8, HARDWARE, BRIDLES, TRACE CHAINS, WEIW, WERIHAU, "Whips, Sddlo-rXVeeH, VALISES, TRUNKS, TRAVELING BAGS, Harness Leather, COLLARS, Sec. All of which are offered at the MOST REASONABLE CASH PRICES. Having just finished new rooms on the Corner of Main and Cherry Streets, two doors north of my old stand, I am now prepared, and will keep on hand at all times the Best and Mcst Complete assortment of goods that has ever been offered to the public in this county. MY SADDLES AND IIARXESS AIDS MAIJK OP 1UK VERY BEST MATERIAL, put rr under sty own si'pEitvuiox and Wni'i'iintcil to Give Entire Snf isfitctioii, and aim: orFKitnn at imuues THAT DEFHOMPETITION. I AM ALSO I'KUPARKD TO FUKNISH All Kinds of Buggy Trimming, tj Cover Buggies, etc., etc. AGENT FOH THE CELEBRATED QUINCY WAGON, which is warranted to give entire satisfaction. T. W. WITHROW. 8cp2tln39v6yl By Telegfrapli. I WOULD respectfully announce to tho cltl seni of Lincoln eouuty that I havo secured the services of si FIRST-CLASS JOURNEY MAN WATCHMAKER, and will Repair Watches, Clocks and Jewelry, AT MODERATE RATES, AND IN GOOD OHDER. ENGRAVING NEATLY EXECUTED. JUT All Work Vai ranted. J. L. VAUCSHAIV, P. 3c A. Telegraph Office, Bonfils' Building, N. B. Persons wishing to purchase any of the American Watches, I will furnish them at Wholesalo Price List. nUv7 MRS, MARY SEDLACEK'S Miliner) Establishment AND NOTION & GROCERY STORE, IL'9 11 For cheap groceries and provisions, and everything in the grocery line, such as Sugar CoSeo Tea Candy Canned Fruits Raisins Currants Pickles Oysters Sardines Cheese Crackers Mackerel Buttor Eggs Flour Meal Go to Mrs. Sedlacek's. Agency of the Weed Family Favorite Sewing- machine Call and examiuo this machine before pur chasing elsowhcre. Jiif Persons indebted to ma arc earnestly re quested to call and settle last year's accounts. .11 rs. SEUIAEK. Feb'y 1, 1870. TO TEACHERS, TOf ICK is hereby given that tho undersigned, t.w Superintendent of publlo schools of Lincoln county, Mo., will, In acondanco with tho school law of the State, hold publlo lamination of teachers, on the 1st Saturday of every month, tt the court bouso in Troy, and on those dayl only. Teachers will plcnse fcrar this in mind. V. S. I'KilMNGIO.-v. Sup't Publiu Schools, JnlinM Alnoola SuSmty, Wo. ,t TEU ONt FOR TJE HERAJ.D Adaas, flay Hd Webster As they were Thirty Years Age, The moat extraordinary man in publiai life was John Qulooy Adams. Wise ex pressed the truth as woll ns the general sense of the House when he declared that Mr. Adams knew mire than all the other members put together. On being atked tn explain, he said thut ho knew every thing that any other member knew, and many things of which every other man wax ignorant. (lis knowledge was inopt oxtensivo and precise, nud his memory, sitmularly tenacious. He never spoke without commanding the attention of the House, and he always threw a flood of light on the subject under discussion ; but ho was petulant and irrasciblo in de bate, sparing no ono in his sarcasm and denunciation. The boldest hesitated about oncottntoring a man so thoroughly equipped and armed nt all points. Mur shall of Kentucky, who was a sort of a knight errant, thought to win laurels by running a course with tho old gentlcmau. He prepared himself with great labor, and catuo into (ho House with a long preamble, reciting certaiu delinquencies of Mr. Adams, winding up with a resolu tion of expulsion. He made a very elab orate, able and eloquent speech in support of his proposition, and the feoling of a majority of the body seemed to be with hitu He was highly complimented for his brilliant effort, and for a duy or two he felt that bis argument was unanswerable. At the proper time, Adams arose to reply The galleries were crowded to suffoca tion, and the lobbies were full. Ho com menced his pcoch as follows : "Mr. Speaker, when Warren Hastings had lis toned to tho eloquent denunciations and wonderful arguments of liurkc, Fox and Sheridan, he said ho almost folt that he must be guilty of the crimes charged upon him. Now, sir, I havo listened to arguments more powerful and eloquence more brilliant than ever were heard in tho House of Lords, and never for one moment did I feol mjfelf guilty of the offenses which the gentleman of Ken tucky alleges against me." He then proceeded with what was probably tho greatest speeoh of his life. His vindica tion was complete, and the effort tro mcndoui. Mr. Marshall's argument were so riddled that they seemed the merest sophistry, and his display of historical learning was shown to be tho drivel of a sophomore. No Eiich speech bad for a long time been heard in the Houc. The immense auditory was electrified, and Marshall's career came to an untimely end. Mr. Clay was so indignant aud exas perated at Tyler's vetoes that he beennio unreasonable and disagreeable to bis friends. He would listen to no sugges tions tending to a composition of tho difficulty, and advised an immediate ad journment and an uppcnl to the pcopln Some of the more conspicuous Wliis of (Jongre68, becoming discontented with the imperious bearing and hie determination to push extreme measures, agreed to meet at Gen. Scott's rooms ut tho Hope elub for consultation. Mr. Clay was not invitod to attend, nor was ho apprised that the moctiug was to held ; but late that evening the fuct came to hii knowledge. Returning from a whist party at Bodit'coV, ho knocked at Scott's quarters, and was ushered into tbo room where the gentle men were sitting. A hawk in a dove cot could not have created a greater conster nation. He remainod standing, dcolining a proffered chair. Glancing from one part of the room to tho other, and glow ring at everybody presont, be exclaimed id a loud voice, "1 reason I treason I and iu the middle of tbo night. Fair play, bcott, fair play." And be walked away paying no attention to the attempt at explanation or the denials that anything secret or uulair was intended, oubsa quently ha was pursuadod that the only object of the mooting was to consult upon the situation, and soo if anything could be decided on to promote harmony in the party and avert the peril impending. Mr. Clay never forgave the gentlemen who wore instrumental in securing the nomination ot Harrison, lie was conn deut that he could hava been elected by a largo majority, and always distrusted tho friendship and fidelity of suoh of his friends as had acquiesced in the selection of bis rival. He was sore toward Scott, and ofton expressed himself in terms of contempt mid derision when the Uon eral'i name was mentioned. A card party given by Geo, Macotnb was largely attended by the most distinguished gen tlemen in Washington, Mr. Clay came in at a late hour, leaning on the arm of Senator Mangum. ho entered the room, his attentiou wus attracted to a whist tablo, that happoncd to be made up of politicians understood to bo espe cially friendly to Webster and Scott. Among them were Edward Curtis, George Evans and Ogden Hoffman. Mr. 'lay had been diniug with a party of friends, and was not in tho most placid frame of mind. Approaching these gentlemen, ho broke out upon thsm as follows : ''You manufacturers of public opinon you makers of President's who assume to con trol all mankind what mischief are you batching?" Ho spoke in a loud tone, and was hoarJ all over the room. Gen. Scott at this moment camo up, and Mr. Clay, turning to him, accosted him in a sneering tone : "Aud hero's the redoubt able Geuoral himself. He was fool enough to suppose that he could be mads President of the United States," at the save time puttiug his hand not in the suosi gentle manner on Scott's shoulder. Vhe General quito porturbed, shrank trout tee contact, remarking, "You for get that it my mounded afro." "Yon are tnrtteti all over," was ho repty. Mr. Mangon led Clay from tho room, aod there the sffair ended for the time. Some correspondence ensued, and seriou consequences were apprehended. Hut friends interposed, and Mr. Clay, who capable of magnanimous concession' wheu conscious ot being in tho wrong, made a satisfactory apology. About tbiB time tbo interested battery of persons seeking offico and other grati fications at the hand of the Executive wholly deluded tho mind of the Presi dent, aud in pursuit of his one gtout o'b ject it occurred to him that a Liographi cai sketch descriptive ol his character and public service, suited to general cir culation, might promote his prospects Ho accordingly requested a trusted friend to write a history of his life, and as a preliminary to the undertaking rc commended a consultation with Mr. Wcbitor. The Secretary of State was waited on for that purpose. He hap pened to bn in nna of his 'mot ungr.i cieus moods, and as formal nnd intin-nssi-ble a grand Lama, "Tl.a Presi.lent wishes mo to writo a sketch of his life, Mr. Webster." "Why don't you do it, then ?" "lie directed me to cull uud talk with you on tho subject." "Go on, sir, 1 will listen to what you have to say." "But, sir, returned the baffled inter viewer, "the President sent me to- you for counsel and advice." "1 havo none to give Mr. Tyler tie sires you to write a sketch of liU life rather an uneventful life I don't see how you can mako much of a book about him." Tho reply was : "It will require some ingcuuity tn prepare a readable memoir " "A great doal, sir. Good moruini;." As the gentleman left the room, Mr. Webster called after him : "Send mo a copy of the work when it is printed." The sketch was written, and published by tho Harpers. Meeting the author on the avenue sometime afterward, Mr. Webster thus addressed him : "I'm obliged for your attention. The thing was rather cleverly dons. I don't see how you suc ceeded so well, considering the paucity of the material," A Queer English: Custom. An American lady, the other day, in Loudon, went to church iu a hat, not ktiowiug the English prejudice concerning thut article being worn in tbo sanctuary. All her friends looked U her very gravely, and spoke coldly. She could not imagine what was the matter, aud asked her hus band if there was anything wrong about her head, lie scrutinized her, and told her no, but still she could see thut it was tho object of attention, and that many looked at her askance. Glud when church was out, and not satisfied that something was not out ofplaca or way, she stepped in at a. friend's, who had lately lived in London, and told her of her ambarrass mcnt. "Why," said her friend, "it is that hat." "That hat? What is the matter with the hat?" said the yount; wife, taking it off her head. "My bonnet did not come from Paris, and the hat is a real beauty." "So it is," was the reply, "but it is a highly improper covoring to bo worn in church, dn abomination to English women Your wearing it was a serious misdemeanor the veriest miss is not allowed to wear a hat to sorvice. Seeing that your hat was wrong, people supposed something wrong with you. You can wear a hat almost uny where else, but if you want to go to churoh in En gland, aud bo thought respectublo, you must put on a bonnet." Uov Tuev Suave in Cuina A fel low who has been shaved iu China says that the barber first stroppod the razor on his leg, and then did the shaving with out any lather. Tho customer remon strated, but was told that lather was en tirely useless and had a tendenoy to make tliH hair still and tough, and was there fore never used by persons who had knowledge of the face and its appendages. Aftor tho beard bad ben takeu off and it was done in a very short time the barber took along, sharp, needle shaped spoon and begun to explore the cus tomer's eats. He brought up from nu tnerous little crevices bits of wax and dirt that had beon accumulating since his childhood. The barber suddenly twisted his subject's neck to one side iu such a manner that it cracked as if tho vertubra) had been dislocated "Hold on I" shouted the party, alurmcd for the safety of his neck. "All right," replied tho tonsor, "me no hurt you ;" and ho contiuued to jerk aud twist the neck un til it was ai limber as un old woman's dish rag. Ho thcu full to beatiug the back, breast, arms and sides with bis fi-ts, aud pummolad the muscles until they fairly glowed with the beating they bad received. He then dashed a bucket of cold water over his man, dried the skin with towels and declared his work done. Prico, two cents. Mrs. Partington entered the offico of the Probate Judge (called "Civilian) and inquired in her blandest tone : "Are you a civil villain?" "Do you wish to insult mo, madam?" suid the Judge. "Yes," replied tho amiable old lady; "my brother died detested, anj left thrco infl del childern, and I'm to be their execu tioner ; so I want to insult tho civil vil lain about it," Dr. Holmes, the delicious old Turk, says : "The brain omes nsver interest us like the heart-women. Wkite fuses please less than red." A minister recently si eondollng with a fathsw vho hail lost sou by doath, whoa tho father replied, '1 was uncommon sorty to lose the boy, but there's no uie oryiug ovor spilled milk," Wanted to be lit Alone. Tho Bangor (Maina) Commercial tells the ful lowing good story : Everbody recollects Uncle Van Meter, the negro philosopher of fiackeaville, who died some months since. Vau was a obaracter. Ho was sum moned on one occasion as a witness in the Suptemo Court on a cow case ; at the titno tho benctolent Judge Hathaway presided. Tho couussl ou cither side, who are still living in this city, for sheer fun racked their brains to oblusticato the veteran African by plying all nmniier of questious portaiuing to every other topic but the cow, Tho experiment was sue cessful, and poor bofogod Van answered as wildly as a blind pugilist strikes out at his antagonist. Judgo Hathaway; will ing to enjoy a little sport, but with a viow of getting the bewildered philosopher back to a rational standing, turned bo nignantly toward him and put a simple question. This was moro than tho illus trious vntidoo could stand u'magazino never exploded quicker' Lifting both hands above his head, and with a counte nance beaming with despair, he ex claimed : "I soz now, you old gray barred gemmau up dar on de bench, don't you interfero wid dij madder. I've just as much as I can do to take care ob dese two chaps down hero. The "Heathen Chinee" as a Pokeu Playeh. A Western exchauge has the following insight into the life of the "Heathen Chinee." Night beforo last some of our young bloods, who were down in Chinatown viewing tho barbarous festivities of the "Heathen Chinee" on the occasion of his New Year, happened into an estab lishment where some of tho mcu wero engaged in playing cards. They soon discovered, much to their surprise, that the gamo was nothing more nor less than American draw poker. After some jokes in regard to William Nyo, Esq., and his Celestial opponent, Ah Sin, two of the boys asked if they could come iuto the game. Tho Chinese were quito willing to accommodate them, and down they sat. Soon one of the Melican men lost 88 and the other 815 trying to come the bluff. This would not do, and they played more cautiously ; yet the Celestial would "call" them with tho utmost con fidence. In bets of 85, $2.50, and so on, their coin was rapidly passing over to the enemy. They tried one or two of tlioir sharpest tricks, and, as the "Johns" seemed to see nothing, were under the impression they had succeeded, until tho Clestial coolly raked in tho coin and pointed out tho fact the little decep tion was lacking in smoothness Having expended between 840 anil $50 in the vaiu endeavor to ascertain the exact oxtcut of tho eclestiol comprehension of our great national game, the boys con cluded they would "Ah Sin" no more. As thoy withdrew, one of their oppo uctiitt, with a "smile that was childlike and bland," said, "S'poso you next time like pluy more pokce, you come see mo." The (J li i tie -e are a gambling nation ; they have studied all manner of games for thousands of years, snd they doubt less see through our simple card games at a glance, and chuckle at tho simplicity of what wo consider the dcepost of strut gy. Composition onto a iioa. A hog is a big pig, but a littlo pig ain't a big hog There is 3 kinds of bogs white hogs, black hogs and 2 legged hogs. The con trairiest hog is tho black hog, and the meanest of all bogs is the 2 legged hog. If you want to driye a bog anywhere, you must drive 'em the contrary way Hogs is like women in that respect ; you can drive 'em better by coaxing, in olber ways hogs ain't like women, except daddy says, they sre never satisfied, and alwaysa grunting, Women wear ear rings in their ears, hogs wear 'em in their nose. Daddy says that's so they can't nose it. Hogs is very useful. A hot head noms water, anu uis tail makes a nice whistle; but Daddy says you can't mako a silk purse out of a hog's ear. A bog has ten legs, two 4 legs that's eight; and two hind legs, that's 10. Folks call 'em hams. Daddy likes ham best; ho says he has had cold shoulder so often he's tirod of it. Some hogs is fut aud somo isn't; a good hog alwajs has n curly tail. Daddy says it is like the Esq., to a man's name, more for or namont than anything else. Daddy's hog was fut once, but ho ain't now. Daddy had to tio a knot in his tail to kcop him from crawling through tho boards of his pen. He got out)' once, and came baok with ever so many little hogs, Daddy said that was doing very well, but 1 don't beliove it, else he'd let 'em out again. I like killing-time, cause Daddy gives mo the bladders to blow up for foot-balls. Mammy booked the biggest one to rauke a nmhtcapp. There must he 2 kinds of nightcaps. Daddy takes bis out of a bottle. I suppose I'll kuow how it is myself when I grow bigger. Daddy has got his nightcap, and says if I don't go to bed he'll mako mo squeal like a pig. A gentleman who was staying at a sea side hotel during the summer cxpiesscd his dissatisfaction to his landlady of the heavy charges tn dis bill. "Well, you seo," she said1, "our season is so very short that ae obliged1 to make kay when tho bud sjtUuos," "That may all be ary true, my good woman, " replied Ibe visilot, "tout though f know alt flesh Is grass, I (iecioVjeMy abject tit being saadtc ay of." A western girl, who has Uoea wal brought up linockn down every man that kisses her, uod slio is so pretty that half the married and all tho singlo men in town have black eyes. Woman's Hair. Dr llctijamin God frey has written a bonk on the "Disease of the Hoir." He says that a woman's hair may grow to tho length of six feat, and that a young lady of Masachusetts refused a thousand dollars for her "cranial covoring, which was only one inch short of this measurement." Four hundred hairs of average thickness would cover an inch of space, The blonde has about one hundred and forty thousand filaments to comb and brush white the rcd-bairod beauty has to be satisfied with eighty-eight thousand ; tho brown haired damsel mtiy havo one hundred and nine thousand, thn black-haired one hundred and two thousand. Fow ladies consider that thoy carry somo forjy or fifty miles of hair upon their head; the fair-haired may even have to dress seventy miles of threads of gold every morning. A Ger man experimentalist has -proven that a singlo hair will suspend four ounces without breaking, stretching under the process and ceotnoti'ii' ugafn. ZIuC th hair thus heavily weighted must be dark brown, for the blonde breaks down under two ounces and a half. Boys be sure that your prospective father-in-law's eye sight is good, r that he has Ins "specs" on when you call ob his daughter. A respectable young man, who never swore nor used tobacco in his life, called to spend the evening with a young lady in Brooklyn last week, and walked into the parlor with his cane in hand, as usual. .The girl's father sat in bis slippers, reading the Independent 'by the fire, until the visitor entered the room, when ho pulled en ono boot, and kicked the caller out of doors before tho latter could tell what ailed him. The old gen tleman had been worried by lightning rod men all day outside, and, being near-. sighted, mistook the beau and his oane for one of those irrepressibles with a sampie piece of rod in his band. A clever old lady, apparently just ar rived on a train from the country, eotsred one of the refreshment rooms at the Springfield railroad station the other day, and gazed eagerly about the appart ment as though searching for something. At last a waiter inquired what she was looking for, and she replied that she left her parasol on the sette, and was trying to find it. A general search commenced and lasted for some time. Finally one of tho waiters asked the old dame when she left it, to which she answered, after counting upon her fingers, "Well, it was just tbreo years ago last Fourth of July." There was a general roar, much to tba astonishment of the old lady, who went away with a very puzzled look upon her countenanco. An Iiisbman named Paddy Doolan, a ready witted wag, who always had a word for everybody, let it hit which over way it might went into a grocery storo one duy to buy eggs. "How nro eggs today?" he asked of the clerk, who was one of those over smart fellows, by tho way. "Eggs aro eggs to day, Paddy," replied tho clerk, looking quite triumphantly upon two or three young lady customers who happened to bo in the store, "Faith, I'm glad to hoar yeez say so," roplied Paddy, "for the last ones I got here were chickons." Tho pioneer Mothodist, Peter Cart wright, uttered many wise and odd and witty sayings. He was often much an noyed at oue sister, more noisy than pious, who would go off on a high key at every opportunity. At an animated class-meeting one day she broke ont with, "If I bad one more feather in the wing of my faith I could fly away and be with tbo Savior." "Stick in tbo feather, 0 Lord I and lot her go," fervently responded Brother Cartwright. Tbo Davenport Democrat baa the following : "A beautiful and almost miraculous incident occurred at the lick bed uf a child near Marshall, on Thurs day last. The little daughter of John House was lying nt the point of death, when a flash of lightning passed through tho room, arousing the infant ; at tho same moment a beautiful white dove 'flew into the chamber, and with outspread wings hovered over tho iufaut till it died, and then disappeared.'1 The St. Louis Christian Advooate says: "We do not protend to account lor Satan. We cannot understand the propriety of his existence cny moro than we can that of (Joneral lieniaman uutler. but both aro facts in the world, whioh wo receivo upon competent testimony." "Nudge not that ye bo not nudged," was a five year old's version of the famil iar scriptural passage in a Clevolsnd Sal bath sohool. That boy had an eye to a good snooze during church tiuin when he learned his Sunday school verse. A citizen of Gosport, Maine, tbo other night mistook his wife's yesst bottle fut his ftvoiite "little brown jug," and took "a long pull and strong pull" there from, He is now regardoi as a rising man, A resident of Kalmszo,) writo to school board" tn Ohil that tio will take fc school, as he fcss "(ought 2 terms school ant) I attended college 4 soar at detrutt mictiigan. and am -u yejrs avage. Th wife of a YYolsfe minister, John Evans, asked her husband, "Do yow think we (hall know each other ia heaven?" lie replied, "To bo sure we shall ; do you think we shall lie greater fools thoro than hero?"