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TJio Lincoln Oounty Herald
,UDMSB EVER WEDNESDAY
LINCOLN COUNTY HERALD
T12IIH8 Of ADVrcilTltff Mi.
One iquilrf (lOllncn)of le!i,one Insertion ..$1 It
Hach ailclltlin4 liuttllon Tft
Administrator' Notices 3 OK
Flnl Settlement Notices 3 It
Stray Notices (slnglo stray) v. 3 09
Each ncldltlneal stray in iimi notice t KO
A Liberal Deletion will be wale to
TROY, MO., WEDNESDAY, MAY 21, 1873.
1 IEA8 IN ADVANCE.
MNOC.SS COPIES VIVO CUNTS.
A;orefy at Ltw tnd ft.uirj Public,
'cw Hope, mUisourl,
will practice In tin Courts of the Nineteenth
Jmllcnl Circuit. Special attontlon given to col
nr. J (J. uuvuiciiini
Wclvilc, - Itlissonri.
Will he In Troy from time to time, doe notlco
v,f nhich vtilU will lo given in tho local papers.
11. C. MAG RUDER,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
np-au-Cit-M, - JTIissonri.
mil practice In ttie Court., of Ik Nln.tj.nib
Judicial District. v'na
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - MiaaoMri.
Will prnctlco In tho Court, of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, and will R've special attention
lo collection!. Ofliio Front room over J. It.
Knox's Hank. v7nl9
CHAS. MAHTHT, Jr.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Troy, - - Missouri.
Will practice In all the Courts of tho Nine
teenth Judicial Circuit. Special attention given
'lo the collection of debts. v6n39
A. V. McKEn. E. N. BONFILS.
McKEE & BONFILS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Troy, - - Missouri.
Will practice In the various Courts of this and
adjoining counties. Special attention given to
collections and matters relating to real estate.
(SO Office, northeast corner Main and Cherry
streets, just below Laclede Hotel. ri30v7
J. II. ALLEN. W.T. 11AKKU.
AL.LEtf & BAKER
Afforneys-at-Law, Agftils Stale and
Phoenix Insurance Compauies
and Real Estate Agents,
JOSEPH B. ALLEN, Notary Pablio.
U. W. WHEELER
Uorney at Law aud Notary Public,
Will attend to any prnfo-slonal liusii.css In the
Vcirti or Lincoln, vvarrcn, riKO ami aiomgoin
ry counties. sepT'7ln3tlyl
WM KUAZIEIt. (1 W. COLBERT
I'RAZIKR & COLBURT,
Attorneys at Law & Real Elale Ag'ls
Will practice in all theeourts of tho Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit. Shcclal attention given co col
lections and to tho saloand purchase and leading
if real estate Abstracts of titles, warranty
deeds, deeds of trust and inorteuces made out
on short notice. Larire number of valuablo
farms for salo at low prices, fif Office on Main
strict in ltonsdcll'a building, up stairs. v7nl4
WALTON & CREECH,
Attorneys at Law & Real Estate Ag'ls
'Will nmi-tlee In all the Uourts of the Nineteenth
Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme Court or tho
Stato. All business entrusted to their care will bo
iromntlv attended to.
Office over Dr. S. T. East's Drug store. Office
"hours from 9 a m. to 4 p. m.
BIRKHEAD & THORNHILL
Still have their. Livery Stables on Cherry st
the sign at the,brlck livery stable on Main street
to the contrary notwithstanding. Tho original
Laclede Stables, by the above proprietors, aro,
as they have always been, a few doors east of
"Wlthrow's saddle shop, where the proprietors
will always be pleased to Beo their friends.
TJuffffles. burses and wagons to hire. Horses
"boarded by day or week. v8n2
J, f, IJElSOtl,
NEW HOPE, MO.,
JSells Dry Goods, Groceries,
As they can be lougJtt anywhere in
Ilia Stock is Fresh end he will
NOT BE UNDERSOLD
HE WILL PAY THE BE8T PRICES
tTMIE .n-n.ptnar.htti heretofore existing be
i tween John P. Nelson and II. II. Frailer,
under tho name and style of Nelson d Frailer,
as heen rll.anlvail lir mutull COnient, J. i
flelson having purchased tho entire interest of
II. II. Frailer in the business. All persons in
lebted to said firm, either by nolo or account
re earnestly rcuuested to call and settle tho
atno with mo. JOHN F. NELSON.
. New Hope, Mo., April 22, 1873.
A Hmibin Katsis Murder Den,
From the St. Louis Times, 11th.
Through special dispatches the readers
of tho Times havo already gained some
idea of tho atrocious murders recently
perpetrated by tho Bender family near
Chcrryvale in Southeast Kansas. It is
now known that tbo Mender family fled
in Ihn direction, A detective, Mr. Thos.
Bacra of Independence, Kun , who his
dona more than any ooc olse to ferret out
the mystery, arrived yesterday morning,
having traced the Bendet's to St. Louis.
A Timet reporter called upon Mr. Beers
during tho day and obtained the inside
history and lull particulars of the
Benders' bloody career.
For several months different pctsona
have been disappearing very mysteriously
on the route between Independence and
Usage Mission. Nearly a dozen people
bad suddenly dropped out ol sight in
this way and tho matter was exciting a
great deal of talk throughout southeast
About a month ago, Dr. William A.
York, a brother of Senator York, who
exposed tho machinations of I'onieroy,
disappeared in tho samo way, and all
efforts to Dnd him were in vain. Dr,
York lived in Fort Scott and had gone
out on a collecting tour, riding a valua
bio roadster. 11a Dually roud down to
Independence and visited his father, then
started borne, .pausing along the treach
erous route, to Oiiage Mission, aud noth
ing moro was ever seen of bitu.
Tho York family is one of considerable
influence in that cart of Kansas, and the
affair caused great excitement. Tho
other disappearances were recalled to
memory and tho people began to talk ol
tho cxistenco of a gang ol murderers and
robbers somewhere between the Mission
On tho route between these places is -a
dismal stretch of prairie, sparsely settled
Two of tho landmarks ol this prairie
are Brum Creek and Big Hill. Midway
belwccu them lived the Bender family
consisting of tho old man and the old
woman, a young man who passed as a sou
Bunder, and a vol tig woman who
passed as the daughter of the old womau
I he young people parsed as mailed, at
though the younger Mrs. Bender bore
very slippery character on the pome
Bonder had a frame house of sevcrol
rooms, which ho had built upon a claim
Ho profesed to keep a grocery in tho
front room of tho house nnd an eating
room fur travellers. 1 he place wa con
sidcrcd a kind of hulf way stopping plnco
"he house stood in the midst ol a pmnc
with nothing to break tho view for a mil
Tho younger Mrs. Bender professed lo
be a spiritual medium, and held occa
sionully seances. Sho also had a card in
one or two of tho country papers, inviting
calls from thoso who desired to have the
About two weeks ago or more, Senator
York organized a party and scoured the
countrv far and wide to find some trace
of his brother. In the course ot their
ride t lie v halted at the Bender placo
feed. Young Bender when he heard of
their mission volunteered his services
aid in tho search This visit occurred on
Wednesday. Tho younger woman also
called Senator York aside, and, telling
him of her power, proposed to hold
seance on the next friduy ntgiii, saying
that if he would enmo sho would reveal
the whereabouts of his brother
York paid littlo or no attention to this
and the party soon passed on.
About two weeks ago, JHr. i nomas
Beers, who has been a Kansas detective
for ten years or more, was urgently re
quested by Senator York to tako bold of
the case and did so.
Day and night he travelled the route
between Osago Mission and Indepcnd
encc, seeking to soivo me mystery, ue
soon struck the trail of a desperado with
whom he was acquainted. Ihe man
had served several terms in the peniten
tiary and thero was uothins to show that
ho had reformed. Beers found that this
man was travelling back and forth bo
tween tho Mission and Independence and
he shadowed htm .closoly. Wherever
the mm stopped Beers waited and then
learned his conversation. He found that
tho villaiu was talking freely about mys
Atonoolaoo he told a woman about
tba murder of a little girl seven or eight
years old, and when the horrified listenor
exclaimed. "How could they do it?' be
replied, "Why they strangled her." 1 his
was told to lieors ana ue Knew ne aau a
At another place the disappearance ol
York was the topio, and the man confi
dentially said they would never find
York, for ho had been burned in a corn
Geld and the ground ploughed over.
v Beers beard this, too, and tome other
things. Tlren he learned that tho
Bonders Tiad suddenly disappeared, and
he began to see light. Ho went back to
Independence, told York his suspicions
and asked him to go with him in order
to identify anything that might be found,
that bad belonged to his brother. York
put but littlo confidence in the detective's
suspicions, and aont a youogor brother
Ttonra went from Indencndenco to
nhnrrvvale bv rail, and ihen taking
wagon rode out to the Bender claim, a few
milpa riff. Tho nlace had been deserted
i,..tllc.iLiit there were plain evidencea
that great .efforts Jiad 'beeii- made to burn
cfothing, pieces' tT harness ami pprr
Thero was a small stnoic or grocerum
tho front room. Between this ana ino m.ui,
up, and a sheet was hung upon these for
The Benders had cone, apparently
taking nothing but a littlo wearing up
tare! wilh them. As they searched tho
house Beors told young York to kcp n
sharp look out for anything that might
have been his brother s, lie did so, and
before they had pone far he pickvd up a
pievo of hU brother's bridlo.
Then the search began in earnest. In
groping about in the room back ot the
grocery, Beers found a little trop-door,
and raised it. There came up a sicken -
ing stench, peculiar to decomposing
human remains. Almost nauseated,
Beers and his little posso examined the
place. The trap opened into a pit about
six feet deep, and this Had a passage
opening out under tho foundations
They made a carelul examination ot the
pit, and lound me sou saturated witn
what was plainly human gore. ISacK ol
the bouse was a piece ol cround, per
haps an acre and a half in extent, which
had been broken up and apparently re
Ilccrs subsequently learned that ISender
had ploughed this ground over tho day
after Senator York and bis friends had
been there on their search.
Tho detective at once began the exam
inalion of this ground, and, taking young
York with him, started diagonally for
tho southwest corner, intending to begin
a systematic search, looking carefully for
any appcaranco ot suosoii or disturb
A few rods from tho corner Beers
stopped and looked about him. Young
York, who was on his right, a lew teci
from him. turned and came toward him
Glancing down, Beers saw between them
a littlo depression, anu some appearance
of subsoil. Both noticed it, and tho de
tective said : 'There's something here,
York ; go and get a wagon rod." York
complied, and soon returned.
lieers took tuo rod and gradually
pushed it down until it struck hard
ground just as it reached tho ring.
Then drawing it out be found that he had
plunged the iron into what appeared to
bo human remains.
The others, who had in tbe meantimo
been rummaging the house, wero sum
moned, and digging was commenced.
About four feet below the surface thoy
came upon a body partially decomposed,
and lying lace downwards, l noy tnen
stopped the disinterring and began to
dig down a trench two leet wide on one
side of the grave, toward which tho face
was turned a littlo.
While they were thus employed a
party arrived from Chcrryvale, having
Grained an inkling of what was going on
Atnons tho new comers was a doctor who
had been sent out by Senator York
Tho trench was lowerod below the level
of the bottom of the grave and the earth
dua away carefully from the face and
head of the body. Then tho detective,
seeinu that from the condition of the
corpse tho utmost cart) would bo neces
sary in order to insure recognition, told
the doctor be must detach tho head from
the ttunk. It was done, and having
been carefully cleaned, was lifted out and
placed on a sheet brought from the
house. The countenance was oxposcd to
view and in un instant tho features of Dr.
l'ork were recognized.
Some of the men there sat down and
cried like children, others turned away
sickened, while others the sight only
nerved them to continuo the search
While the dctcctivo was tolling this
heart sickening story to the Times re
porter, he would stop ns he camo to this
! ... . .l i- lr i 1
horrible scene, at ino unuing oi in.
York's body, and seem to forget the
present and go back in his agitation, to
that terrible morning of tho oth of May
Tbe work went on and other bodies
wero found, until in all, nine had been
unearthed when Beers left. In every
case except that of tho littlo girl, tho
skull was broken in the back ot tho head
Tho detective is of the opinion that
the murders were dono in the following
Tbe parties either came or were en
ticed to the house where the young wo
man engaged them in conversation, for
she had tne reputation in on mat puui
tho country of being a good tuiker.
Then one ol the men would strike tho
visitor on the back of the head, felling
him to the floor, when the other would
strike him with a heavier slcdge-liko
instrument. Tben it would bo but tho
work of an instant to drag the victim to
tho trap. door and cut bis throat. In
every caso except that of the ohild these
terrible wounds were louna ro tno pacit
of the head, and the throats were gashed
from car to ear. Two hammers wero
found in the bouse, which had evidently
been used in Ihe manner described.
There was also something very pecu
liar about tho manner of burial. Tho
graves wero all from three to hve feet
deep. 'J he bodies wore straightened out
with the right hand drawn up nnd laid
flat upon tbe right breast. Tho left
hand and arm wero stretched straight
beside tbo body. Thia Mr. Beers in
formed the reporter has been a pass sign
between a largo gang of cut throats and
horao thieves working along the route
from tbe Mission to Independence.
Tho news of finding York's body
spread like wildfire, and before night
scores of men bad flocked to the place to
aid iu the search. Among them came a
German wholly innocent ol wrong, but
because ho happened to be of the same
nationality as the Benders, the crowd
strung him up three times to make him
confess, and finally desisted upon Beers
declaration that the man was innocent.
About a year ago thero was nottet
member of Ihe Bender family, a younfi
.li.nn.o nf Mtn. ntim th n Uender wns TUB l.OST LITY Or U0STON .AN
nlit.nr billn.l nrinnrtnll woiinJcil and LadYh lloVB. Thero ore several resi
ll.nn nrnrotAlr nnrioil. detllS of Detroit wIlOSB friends took pSSS
. J - . . ... . . .p ...,. i. :i.
Uf the bodies found thus lar nearly nil ago on tno missing ouy uusiuu, wumn
havo been missed since lui-t UJlobcr. 11 went don to tier ocean grave in bucii a
Longchor, ono of tho victims, was a mysterious manner that her late has never
firmer m Howard cotititv. Ho so d out been ascertained. Aituougn so long
his claim, and taking his little girl about time has elapsed sinco the steamer was
wr. i nnr e, ha .inrteil for Iowa with uiven up. there are ino'c ncre wuo uae
l.is team. The last known of hi.u was the strongest faith mat at least some oi
when ho camped on Drum Creek, He the passengers were cast on some Bhorc
cuuld be traced no farther, and the find or island, and will boiuo day make their
ine, nf l,i. lin.1v in llnmler's field with escape to tell the sad story. Une ot these
...t, . .... . i i i
tho remains ol the child a lime way on, is a woman oi emy, wm.ee man, j
only solved the mystery. A day or two promising foo was one of the passengers.
after JiOngchor was lost his team was Sho has subscribed for a Boston paper
found about sixteen miles south of the for no other reason than that sho iiiinks
K !,. It hn.l ori.lpnt v hpnii the nrrss ol that cilv will be the Urst to
I'trtiutl inuwi v uu " " ---- f -
ilrivnn ilmrn in eereat haste, ond aban rccetvo news ot tho ship as roguiariy
,l.l Al ...! nninti nn tlin linn he. as the PBDCr is rceived eho opens it ill
tweien tlm Itender nlace and tho soot tho hope that her son a late may be ex
n,l,.,m il,u .nnm u-oo fnnml ar-vnral nersons plained, and disappointment only engen-
ni.., tnU e.l" in in. tlm tpnni un nasi nt ii ders new Hope, ins piuto is Kepi ni inc
furious rate, and on this Una were found table, nnd to almost every friend who
at intervals the end board of Lnngchnr'f calls, the mother says: "I have not
wagon and his guns, which had fullcn out hoard from illinm yet, but 1 hope to
in tho busty drive. this week." Tho neighbors feel that the
Thi, ltnmlnra inltnd boldlv about the hope is the only cunlmht of her lllc, and
.lisnnnonmnen. nnd insinuated thiit the cncoura"c her in it. No one tint a mother
man must have been shot down on Drum couldjhopo thus agaiuet nil the rest or the
(Jicck, world, and none but a mother's) heart
W. V. McCarthy, another of tho vio would continue so luithlul through all
tini, was a Howard county tanner, no tno lonp uioiiiiii. shut mu u.ihh.i; iiuu.i:i
w.m former v in the Unu Hundred nnd so heavily Ireignteu wmi numan souis
Twenty third Illinois iufantry. lie had plunaed down to her deep-sea grave, or
had a long dispute about his olajm with was ueaicn 10 pieces on me n.o. ui euuio
mn Vw. .in,.!., tn t in Huiiilcr earn? torbldaini: snore. neirou rreu x rees
The latter had taken htm away to have a
settlement nnd he was never seen after
wards until bis body was unearthed
The suppositior is that ho was enticed tti
Bender s and murdered in tne sumo man
ocr as the others.
B. l MeKentio was a furmcr from
Ohio, who was looking about for lands.
He bad Sb.OOO or S7.UUU and dtsappcare I
as mrsteriously as tbo others. His body
was nlso lound.
Another man named Boyle, who
A recent medical writer says : "Sleep
wheu you can ; in tho cari anywhere
when you get a chuueo the great wont
of tho age is sleep." This is not alway
safe advice to follow, as a Lawrence gen
tlcman knows to his sorrow, lie wis
reecntlv afllicted with a bad cold, and ro
euro himself of it, resorted to tho nicthcd
of hatliiiiL' bis feet in warm water, ond
drinking a tumbler lull of gin and mo
usses. prescribed by an aged anu ro
iiuuiliui: mail iiaiin.ii v 1 . . , , ., it
....jr i.tnn.l.,Me.nfn il,n Mw.i.n. spected friend of the family. Having
.1 si a ie i ii I ii .r in nn nr Inr rinrroiiiff nil!
with S700 in his possession was u so w y--j-- -
r , r the prescription, ho sat down by tho
lounn. . . i i.. i . ...:.:, :n.o.n.i in
Two others were identified, but the stove, m pu- ..nu.. . ...
rest of the bodies were not recognizable.
Nearly all of thu victims hud teams or
stiddlo horses. In two instances the
wagons were found on tbe prairie and in
ono instuueo a horse which had been
neculiarlv marked was left with the
In other cases the horses wero run off
by some members of the gang anddisap
ncarcd ns mysteriously as tncir owners
Dr. York when he disappeared had with
him a very fleet and valuable roadster.
It seems that alter tn visit oi cunaiur
York ond his party the Bonders took the
alarm. Tho next inortiint; the old man
ploughed the field, and shortly afterwords
thoy hitched up and drove to I noycr, a
station nn tho Uull road, twenty or
twontv five miles away where they were
not known, arriving thero in timo to tuke af,crnoorl (Connecticut baking day), and
a night train. It seems that thoy stepped i,;,, B00d wife wanted some wood lor the
a llitic wuy oui ui iuwii, uuuui uuss-u iuc
wiiim water, a tumuier ui r-uiunui gin
and molasBCs by his sido. In this con
I i t ion a sense of cmoyment stole over
him as ho sipped thu rxhllirating liquid
and befell asleep. His wife had gone
to bed, and on awakening about three
o'clock in tbe morning, wondered why
she was olone. Going down stairs, she
was horrified to find her licgo lord osleep
in the chair, tho firo out, his leet im
tnersed in the water, over which a cako ol
ico was formed, and uti empty tumbler on
the chair beside Inui. His cold tsu t a
Old Joe was a quiet old man, but
somewhat too fond of the bottle. lien
in cups his ideas tended towards ihcolog
teal matters, which he alwuys avoided in
his sober moments. It was Saturday
horses and tied them to tho wagon
Then leaving the doz with tbo team,
the v went to the depot and left,
Tbo team remained out of town two or
three davs. no one knowini! to whom it
belonged. Finally tho town marshal
went out and brought it in.
A day or two after that somo country
people were in town, and ono of them
noticing the dog which had been left
with the team, exclaimed: "Why,-
there's old Bender's dog!
This led to some explanations, nnd the
team was reudily identified. This led to
a visit tc tho Bender place, and then it
"Joe, I do wish you would go and split
mo somo wood, here it is nearly two
o'cloek and the Gre isn't made.
Joo went out to execute his commis
sion ; but fearing his physical condition
was weak, marched to tho neighboring
tavprn tn fortify himself therein. He
returned homo utterly oblivious to all
things sa-vo his pet theories. Seatiug
himself on the chuir ho said :
"I say, (hie) Jane, do (hie) you think
tho Lord (hie) means to burn us all (bio)
up in firo?"
His venerable spouse, being exceed
in"lv irate, did not answer. Again ho
. .' .. t, . . 1 1
repcuted tho questiou. otin an ouiiuuub
was discovered that tho whole family had
departed. This was just before or about Q:icnce
tho time that the detective niado fm .vjfe, do you think tho Lord means
visit to tbo claim. tn hum ns all uo in fire evcrlastiuc?"
As soon as tho bodies wero uncarthnd, 0 j,. gai,j the ll0W thoroughly
Beers entered upon his search lor ,lle nrnuacd liousa wife ; "no, you fool, not if
criminals, lie lound mat tno uenoers waj(iJ or you to Bpilt tbe wood r
were co operating wuu a uanu ui uuttu?,
but ho all at once disappeared.
. .. . . . , j i .. I Tt.o e.mnnaitinn is that iu attemPtinE lo
next room only tn joists nau ucuu j.ui, .. -- -
and iust before he left Kansas, had
sworn out warrants for the arrest oT
twenty two parties, many of them pro
fesscdly farmers, holding claims in buuth
Beers himself has assumed the diffi
cult task of hunting down the four men
hers of the Bender family. He succeeded
iu tracinir them until tbey lelt the stale,
and then had an intcrviow with the Gov
ernor of Kuosas, who authorized him to
go ahead and hunt down the murderers
regardless of expense.
With this understanding he started and
arrived in St. Louis yesterday, having
followed a clear trail tn this place.
Tbo Bendors left Kansas with about
810,000, and Beers thinks ihcy have gone
straight to tbe seaboard wilh the mteu
tiun of hiding across tbe ocean.
He will follow as fast as the trail can
be picked up. Chief McDjnough will
render every assistance possible. In
formation has bceu received already of
parties hero who havo told moro about
tho murders than tbey ought to know as
Deteotive Beers says that tho people of
Southern Kansas are terribly excited
over tbo discoveries, and it would be a
difficult task to keep the Benders out of
tho hands of a mob if tbey should be
taken back now.
Tho claim upon which the bodies wero
found, he says, is being visited by hun
dreds and thousands, who come from
many wiles. The lot waa carefully and
deeply ploughed over bofore all the
bodies wero found, and it is not known
yet bnt that thero rray be other victims
burricd uear the bloody home of the
Beers is almost worn out with tho ter
rible stram he lias been under for wo
weeks, a sis when. Visited- yesterday by the
Timos teporlo w trying to ecuperate
a little. He will set to wort this morn
ing in full earnest.
A quaint Scotch minister was given
somewhat to exaggerating in tho pulpit,
clerk reminded him of Us effects
upon the congregation. Ho replied that
ho was not aware of it, and wished Ihe
i-lerlr. ihe next timo ho did it, to give a
cough by the way of hint. Soon after
Im nn lft rrrlblll f fcOUUISOtl 8 tVlOg tile
fn tps tails together. He said :
The foxes iu those days were much
Urr.nr than ours, and thoy had tails
twenty foot long.
Ahem I came from H e clerk's desk.
That is. according to their measure
ment j but by ours tbey were Gfieen foot
Ahemt louder than before
But, as you may think this extrava
gant, we'll just say they were teu foot.
Ahoni ! ahem I still moro vigorous.
Tho parson re.ned over tho pulpit, and
alinkino hU fiiiL-cr at the clerk, said:
Ynn miv couch thero all tho nioht
Inlet mnn : I'll nae tako off a foot more,
Would yo bae tbo foxes wilboao tails at
A green lad from Alabama, who was a
nassengcr on board ono of tbo steam
boats navigating tho Gulf of Mexico,
unildonlv bolted into the cabin ono morn
Vw.rVirn llm nnriRnrtnrA had fairlv
rubbed their eyes open, exclaiming, "Wo
aro lost 1" "Lost!" replied his noarcst
neighbor. "Lost 1 exclaimed another.
"LtstV screamed out tho whole crowd.
' Yes. ostl" said tho lad, astonished at
tho alarm ha had created. "I know we
are lost, caaso tbo captain's on top of the
honso, and another man a upon tno tnasi,
alooVing to ree where wo ate.
"Dootor," said a despairing Va,'CB ,0
his physician, "I am in a.droadlul slato;
I can neither lay not set wnai uu
"Wlty, then," fopfici llie dootor,, roTy
gravely, "t thtuk you hail bctCcf-toost."
Dick G rtti incorrigible Hj was
bummer, and no discipline cuuld eiake
him anytbiug else. At ft tune when tho
soldiers consldctcd it wrong to Bteal a
hicken, Pick confiscated them with a
flourish. Ho would do this with impu
nity, nllhough he was frequently pun-
tied for leaving the ranks, un ono
occasion Uo entered a yard, ostensibly lo
got some water. Whilo at tho well lio
hissed tho fanner's dog on the chickens.
As tho agitated mistress of the houro
came to lliu door, Dick, in pursuit of tho
dog nnd chicken, was close upen a bun
fowl. It fluttered toward l lie iloor, ut.u
tho woman caught it. Dick reaihid out
his hands and taking it Item her, said
cnoly with a bow, "ihank you, thuuk
you. As the Colonel ihunoerea oui,
"Tako that chicken back, sir," Dick said,
She gave it In mo, sir said I wns wel
come to it asfc her if she didu t, ain
tho poor bewildered woman could nut
The next day jiick whs nniiiu'ii inai u
ho fell out ot the ranks he would lt
punished ut night sure. Ilo kept up
well until noon. Then giving one of tlm
boys his gun. ho slipped out for a mo
ment, bnt lie did not conic Lt-eK, anu inu
Captain was furious. About 15 o'cKck
a carriage, driven by u stylish ncgr,
passed the regiment at a race coursv
need. Hick reclined graceiuuy on ino
back seat, and as he passed, lilted Inn
hat and mode n most elaborate bow h
the Captain and company.
When the rrgiuient went into quar
ters for the night, they found Dick wilh
fire made, and chicken, potatoes, etc,
cooking. The Captain sent lor li tn and
oidercd bun tied hand trul loot. Uick
camo limping up, dresed chicken in
hand. "I'm sorry, C.ipttnu, tloggoned it
I ain't. 1 couldn't culch up, so rather
than disobey your orders, I hired u
darkey to bring me on, nnd hero 1 am in
good time. I thought you'd bo hungry,
and I made ti lire. 1 havo this chicken
(see how fat it is) ready to cook. Will
you have it stewed or fried, Captain?"
"Hang tho chicken I I was talking
about you," roared tho Captain. "After
all my cautious and thrcola jou dropped
"But, Lordy, Cap, I was into rnmp
nforo you was," responded Diek. "Will
you havo the chicken slewed or fried,
Cap?" and Dick showed the Captain
what a beauty it was.
The officer glared at him a moment,
and then snapped nut, "IricJ, curse it I""
And Dick served the chicken in triumph,
and escaped punishment.
The I'iiecise Man. The "l'reeisH
Man" sumlimes purls bis bare iu iho
middle, and wl.cn he dtiz, he kounts the
hate on each side ov biz bed, and splits)
sum, if it is necessary, tew make tbo
thing ded even.
If ho is a married man everything must
be jist so if he is a bachelor, it umet ho
Ho alwus sets a ben on 12 eggs, and
haz a grate horror for nil odd numbem.
Do gits up nt jist siteh n timo in tlm
morning, und goes tew Led jift siteh a
time at night, and would nz soon think ov
taking a doso of stiiknino for the hik
kups oz lew kutoph a dog's talc when tlm
moon waz iu the last quarter.
Tho precise mnn buz but phew brancs,
and tbey ore az well broke nz a setter
dog's, for he seldum makes a falso point.
He is a bundle of fukts and uggers.
and is oz handy in tho nuberhood oz a
pair ov platlorm skalea or a reddy rek-oncr.
He is invariably an honest man, hut
often az mulch from prido oz from priu
ciplo. 1 . . . . . .... . . i . i
Uo luvs luz children, u ne naz any,
and would rather have them pcrlekt m
tho uiultiplikushuu tublo than iu tho
(Iliad of Homer.
Iliz wifo is soon broke low okt and
think az bo duz, and she is known for
aud near for the excellence ov her sol
sop. fosh Billings.
How Tiikv Kkau H1K
Undo Ned first hunts up a funny thing,
then laughs with a will.
Aunt Sue first reads the stories, tucn
turns to the marriago and deaths.
Tho laborer looks at the wan's, h lptng
to find a bettor opening in his busiuess.
Miss I' Iota seeks, out tno new uuvrniFo
ment to ascertain the newost imporiatii.ns
in bonnets unu kins.
Mr. Pleasure Seeker tarns to tho
amusement advertisements and decide
what entertainment will bflurd biui tho
Miss l'rim drops a tear -first over tho
marrioges, then over the deuths, for sho
says one is as bid as tbo other.
Mr, Politician rcsds thcoditorials, then
tire political extrncts nnd news.
Mr. Morvelous looks for the accidents,
murders, inquest ncd deaths, und cuds
in stories of something sensational.
Everybody reads tho adverlisetpenls,
tn learn who aro the energetic business
men, and learn where thoy cau find what
they want. . . .
"A gooil cup of Oblong tea wi'l not
hurt anybody," said Mrs.'l'artinglon, an
she presided over tho mahogany, with a
pleasant smile upon her face and tho tea
urn by hor sido. ' I know some say itjs
dilatorious In tho nervous cistern, and
subscribe cold water; bat I need tho
flagrant herb, and tho two cups just
equalizes my tcmperaluro. Some say,
too. that it shotlens life, and when tho
Widow Shoot died at ono hundred aim
ten, it wos remarked that if she hadn't
drank loa sho would havo lived to bo an
old woman. I om suro sho survived her
faelories wonderfully, aud the lea 1 know
did it." t
"Much remains unsung." as the cat
reinsrked Tn the brickback when it sud
ilenTv cut short bis serenade.