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WILLIAM WANTED NO LAWYER.
Reason Assigned W?s Something of a Slur on the Profession. When Justice Buffum opened court In a small town in southern Georgia one morning last week, he called loud ly: Jones against Johnson!" A dignified gentleman came to the bar. and said: "I am Dr. Jones, your honor, the complaining witness. My chic kens were stolen and found In the possession of —** On#- moment, doctor." the judge in terrupted. We must have the defend ant at the bar Jones against John ron* Jones against Johnson' Is the defendant present* Is William John son in court*" A tail and shambling negro shuffled to the bar. ducked his head, pulled his coolly forelock in token of respect. *nd grinned a propitiatory grin Ah's Willy um .lohns'n. please sur. jedge he said Ah dean' know iiufflu bout no fendant. sub Ah'm Jes de man wot took de chlck'ns." "Don't talk like that.' the court warned W illiaui ‘You ought to have a lawyer to sju-ak for you Where's vour lawyer?" Ah ain’t got no lawyer. Jedge— M \ #*rv well, then said his honor. *TII assign a lawyer to defend you." Oh no. suh; no. nub! Ple-e-ease don do dat' William begged. Why not' asked the Judge It wa t cost you anything Why don't you want a lawyer?** Well, ah 11 tell yo\ sah. said Wll 'Ham waving his tattered old hat con- Aden?tally "Hit s Jei» dis-a way—ah wan \uh enjoy dem rhlrk'n* musef." —llur|*er‘s Weekly ARTIFICIAL LIGHT FOR BIRDS. Lengthens Their Day. Giving Them More Time for Feeding. Winter ha* aiwa>* proved a tryinjf for rare and delicate birds in the zoological wardens One interesting theory has been advanced, that owing to the long night* In these latitude* In winter the poor bird* do not feed long enough during the da\ to keep bod\ and soul tog.Mh* In the old Insert house some g«>od effected by Inducing the bird* to feed before dawn with the aid of a powerful motor laini- which w«h placed there an hour In the winter In ihc new small hlrdhous* says the Ixmdoti Daily Mall an elaborate in candescent gaslight installation has Just been completed It 1* controlled from outside and at six o'clock in the morning a watchman -witches on the lights Immediately a chorus of songs break* out front the aroused birds which start breakfast Immediately This extra feeding time has alreadx produced good results In the shape of Impioved condition of the birds of par adUe ntynahs and other rare tropical bitd* in the house A Handy Library. Many of the new (took* come out in actiu 1 form In the magagfnes and pu per* Cut out the Installments as they appear and glue them together---hook fashion. If from a magazine, or in one long strip if taken from a newspaper lake a long, stout envelope, paste the name of the story on the hack, fold the sheets or strips of clippings and place In the envelope. This is a book which tukc* only a small space on the shelves, and the name is easily seen THE STATESMAN. DENVEFI, COLORADO. nom tne ouisiae. 1 nese envelope books are Invaluable for sick people, as frail hands are not tired by hold ing a light slip of paper when it would be impossible to hold a heavy book As a bit of cheer for all invalids they might be aptly termed the sunbeam library.—Housekeeper. Work for the Unemployed. I-ack of employment is not a new question. Says the Liverpool Mercury of February 14. 1812: "It is of the highest importance that a committee of the legislature should immediately inquire into the causes of the present want of employment among the labor ing classes, and whether means might not be found in a nation of which the revenue is immense by which a sue cession of public works." etc., etc. There were at that time, nearly 100 years ago IG.OOO unemployed in Liverpool The same writer, after asking Is wai the only employment that the state has to give the poor?" goes on to show that the pyramids of Egypt and the • legant edifices of Greece" were built with the object of giving con tlnua! employment to the laborer How High a Tiger Can Jump. For the lieneflt of the prospective big game hunters a correspondent finally dispose* of the theory that a tiger is unable to jump to any height from all fours. He records that he took refuge in a tree from a particu lar tiger The beast however, jumped up to him. like an India rubber ball, a good seven feet and It was only by letting go with my right ami ram tiling both barrels down his mouth that 1 did not ba\e a very had time of It." The moral evidently is that when avoiding a tiger it is necessary to And a Ire.- with Its low«*m branch At least ]C feet from the ground. Apology Due and Forthcoming. \n illiterate young man once got a friend to write a letter for him to his sweetheart. The letter was rath •• prosaic foi a love letter, and he felt that an apology war due to his sweet h«.«rt for Its lack of tender nothings It was ac follows Please excuse the mildness of this here letter, as the chap wot s rilin’ it Is a married man. and he says be < arn't 'bide any soft soapings, ii alius give* him the siuizzums JEST OF THE NATURE FAKER. Remarkable F'sh Was Whifftetit. Ac cording to Facetious Waiter. Seating himself ala restaurant ta ble a Chicago man said: Waiter what kind of fish have you"” 0/ said the waiter, all kinds - whlteflah. blueflsh iruylings. sea bass, weak fish, perch Pshaw’" \nwned the customer, “cut that out I’m tired of those com mon fishes Ain’t you got some new kind of fish, some kind I never ate before?" ' Well.** said the waiter "the whlf fletitK Is very fine this morning.” What In thunder Is a whiffletit*’* Why. don’t a fish sharp like you know what a whlfflellt Is* Common enough here You see. the whlfflellt lives only in circular lakes You go out and find a circular lake and hire a boat Then you row out all alone to the middle of the lake about a mile or so. and anchor Then you take an augur and lw>re a hole in the water, and halt it h\ nutting it niece of cheese on the en g( of the hole. The whiffle tit conies t p to get the cheese, eats it and it m kes him swell up so that he can t get back down the hole." ■Well." s lid the customer, breath less. what hen?'* “Why." 1 ‘plied the waiter, as he filled a gla> i of water, "you lean over the side ol the boat and laugh the w'hiffletit u death. Want a few?"— Cleveland 1 eader. PECULIAR WHEEL OF FORTUNE. Breton Pe; lantt Ascribe Miraculous Power to Odd Contrivance. In the v llage church of Comfort (near Pont Croix I. In western Brit tany is a ery good specimen of the now rare wheel of fortune.” It If made of wt id. with a row of bells on Its outer rim and pivoted be tween a ouple of rough beams —altogethe very primitive workman ship By n ?ans of a cord attached to a crank the wheels can be made to re volve* and t et all the bells a-jangling I have ofte i heard that the peasants believe tha it has miraculous power of healing hen run over the head of a sufferer v ho has placed a sou In the box to whlc 1 the rope is padlocked. 1 received r* markable confirmation of this belief, for while making a photo kraph a w dl-to-do sailor's wife and her husban came into the i hurch and looked rout d The woman asked me If I though there could be any truth In this bel ef. as her child was very backward a learning to talk Her nurse who ante from those parts, had advised he to bring the bab> and ring the i of Comfort over his beau whei: he would be sure to talk. Vs she wa* passing she had looked In to see If it *as worth trying! Not Su| posed to See or Know. On the elief train that had l»een rushed to he scene of the railway wreck was a newspaper reporter, re mark* the 'hica«o Tribune The first victim he r iw was a roan whose eyes wer<* in mi irning and whose left arm was In a s lug. With his hair full of dirt one ei d of his shirt collar flying loose, and I is coat ripped up the hack th* victim was sitting on the grass and serene y contemplating th«* land s< a|»e "Ho r many people are hurt*" asked the reporter, hurrying up to him Ihs *en't heard of anybody be Ing hurt, y »ung man. said the other How- did this wreck happen?" I haven't he rd of any wreck You haven't * v .’ho are you. anyhow ?" ”1 don't know that it's any of your biisl ness but 1 m the claim agent of the road " No Dru is in the Middle Ages. As we i >me to the Middle Ages, when the lations of modern Europe were struct ling into existence, we find that at Art . the drum was not used at all So. although melody had been known am practiced for many con turnes. rhy hm had been quite forgot ten For i hat there is left to us of the music i f the Middle Ages contains no bars, a d we know that it was slowly an monotonously chanted, without the least accent In the 1 leventh century, however, things beg m to improve, more par ticularly as the Crusaders brought Into Europe all sorts of percussion Instru ments fror the east Various kinds of drums, tambourines and cymbals wen* then eon in Europe for the first time since the days of savages, and thex have >een used, with very little change. e\ *r since.—St Nicholas Oltlee Phone Main MN. Hour*: 9 to 11 a. m., 1 to 4 p. m, 7 to 8 p. m. DR. P. K. SPRATUN Rooms—3l-2 Good Block. Residence. 2230 Clarkson Street. Telephone York 123. Office hours: 8a.m.t06 p. m. and by appointment. Phone Main 7416 Dr. T. Ernest McClain DENTAL SURGEON, Plate, Crown and Bridge Work a Specialty 2743 Welton St. DENVER, COLO. OFFICE HOURS: 9 to 11 &m. m. 3 to 5 p. m. 7 to 8 p. m. Sundays by appointment. DR. W. A. JONES 911 TWENTY-FIRST STREET. Office Phone Main 5554. hec. 2205 Marion St. Phone York 4370. Or. Westbrook. Dr. Harper. 8 to 12 m„ t 0 5 P- 1 to 5 p. m. 7 to 8 p. m. AH Other Hours ana Sunday by Appointment ’Rhone Main 1144. DR. WESTBROOK Residence 1505 East 16th Avenue Phone York 4014 Physician an. Surgeon DR. HARPER Dentist. 915-917 Twenty-first Street. Phone Main 8625 After hours 3230 DR. JUSTINA L. FORD OFFICE HOURS: 10 to 12 a. m. 2to4p. m„ to 8 p r- OFFICE AND RESIOENCE. 2111 Arapahoe Street. Denver. JOS. H. STUART LAWYER PRACTICES IN ALL COURTS. Office 329 Kittredge Bldg. Cor. 16th and Glenarm. Residence 2562 Lincoln avenue. Phone Olive 2294. Examining abstracts of title, and drawing up legal documents given careful attention. **it*Rium**im*iMt**««it)um*m* GEORGE G. ROSS ATTORNEY AND COUNBELLOR-AT LAW. Abstracts of title, wills, deeds and all legal matters pertaining to real and personal property carefully looked after. Room 207 Kittredge Building. Residence. 1844 Tremont Place. A/tec 9190 Phone Olive 14x4. PAGE 3