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Unfortunately I Got Well Told by a Greenhorn. Translated from the Yiddish by Deena Spivak, Aged 12. When I first came to this golden land the good God at once took me under his special care. It did not take very long and I began to starve. But what a starv ing! Not like one who has been here only a few weeks, but like one who lias been here for years and years, and who has gone through all the stages of star vation. And so I began to starve and I was literally going out like a candle. It went so far that I sold a goodly part of my clothing which I brought with me from the old country, and on the pro ceeds bought bread to satisfy my fam ished green heart. Once when I had nothing to eat for several days I decided to hunt up a customer for my shoes. What else could I do? One can’t eat shoes, and, oh, how I did want to eat! Moreover, my great misfortune is that I am by nature a great eater. I could eat the whole world. Well, as I said be fore, I intended to barter my shoes for something to eat, but i'or the life of me I could get no one to buy them of me, and my hunger waxed and became un bearable. I roomed at that time with a green horn family who did their best to make me pay my long overdue rent, or to get rid of me. For my part I had enough sense, thank God, to bluff them by say ing that today or tomorrow I will surely find a job and will then, like a gentle man, pay them every cent I owe them. Many todays and tomorrows passed and yet I did not find a job and therefore could not, like a gentleman, pay my debts. “For God’s sake,’’ complained my mistress to my master, “how shall we ever get rid of our boarder, the green horn?” When I heard these stinging words issue from the lips of my landlady I felt like hanging myself. To make the story short, because of the continuous, empty state of my stom ach, may this never happen to you, I became sick. But there is sick and sick. Mine was not in jest. I was near death’s door. Some charitable people telephoned to the city hospital and an ambulance came a flying. Out of the bed they pulled me and into the ambulance they pushed me, and, quick as a wink, they took me to .the' hospital... ... Jlqw my spirits- revived. For first of all I was no longer worried about eating. Indeed who in the world wanted to eat? May my enemies, dear God, want to live as mufeh as I wanted to eat. Why the .idea qf eating never so much as entered -my mind! If some one offered me five dollar gold pieces, I swear I would not THE JEWISH OUTLOOK even take the trouble to carry them to my lips. Not the slightest appetite, were I even to tear myself to pieces. And yet the lack of appetite afforded me a great deal of pleasure because it saved me the trouble of looking for a customer for my shoes and of the necessity of invent ing new stories to bluff my mistress when she used to nag me like a worm demand ing to be paid for the hard couch which made my bones ache. In short, I felt amidst my new surroundings as if I had shed my old skin and a new one was being drawn over me. I became a new being Like a king I laid there stretched out on the bed, and the nurses, young and comely maidens, all dressed in white, with white little caps like cor onets on their heads, industriously moved about my bed. I almost melted away from sheer delight. My joy knew no bounds when the nurse used to come and sit down by my bed, and, like a mother, ask me how I felt. Then the features of my face would assume the expression of a crying child, and I would answer that I feel pretty bad. In a mild and pleasant voice she then would ask me to put out my tongue, and like a child I obeyed her. With one hand she would place the thermometer in my mouth, and with the other she took my pulse, looking all the while at a tiny watch that hung on her breast. Ah, it was the taste of Eden, my friends. In the seventh heaven I was then, and I did not know how to thank the Ribono shel olam (the Crea tor of the world) who took pity on me and helped me to get sick. Why I am a man now, a regular lord. In the dark days when I was well, may it never hap pen again, I lived like a tramp, a hobo, a dog. Now at my side sits a dear soul, a saintly sister who is interested to know how high or low my temperature is, and how fast or slow my heart beats. I was so overcome by my good fortune, my un expected fortune that I felt like jumping and dancing. But I had no strength, and could hardly move a limb. # * * # Not forever doth the sun shine, it must set some time. Not always does the star accompany one on the path of life, it must go out some time. And my sun and my star, which for a short time shone brightly set and went out. At last the bitter end came to my unexpected fortune and gladness, and, may it not happen to my friends, I unfortunately got well and strong, strong as a trooper. Again I took to eating like a wolf. On a bright, I want to say rather, on a dark morning, they showed me the way out of the hospital. With a pain in my heart I had to bid good-by to my clean, white and warm bed, and to the pretty nurse, the dear soul, who took such a sisterly interest in the elevation of my tempera ture and in the beating of my heart. Again I find myself mingling with the healthy and the strong. As in the days of old I continue to starve, and again I am hunting for customers to buy my shoes. Of the happy days in the hos pital, even to this day, 1 think as. of a happy dream. —H. Getter in Die Freie Arbeiter Stimme. PHILOSOPHIC. “You really should be more economi cal,” said Wiseman. “Oh,” retorted Gailey, “I will be some day.” “Yes; some day you’ll have to be.” “All right; if I have to I won’t mind it so much.”—Philadelphia Press. VtVCCD’C Guaranteed Siik Gioves in AMI dull O All Colors—the Pair, SOe. OPPOSITE' ■j_B posTorncE- The M.J. O’Fallon Supply Co. DEALERS IN Supplies for Plumbers and Steamfitters, Mills and Water Works, etc. OFFICE: 1518 WYNKOOP ST. SUNDAY, AUGUST IS. MAUDE FEALY —.ln— "When Knighthood Was In Flower” Popular matinee Wednesday. Regular matinee Saturday. Advance sale opens Mon day, May 20th, 9 o'clock, Tabor Opera House. A WOKI.II OP OUTDOOR NOVELTIES. Tabor Grand Opera House ALL NEXT WEEK The John C# Fisher Company PRESENTING “The Telephone Girl” THE NEW CURTIS THEATRE WEEK OF AUGUST IS. “THE CHORUS GIRL” Matinees Wednesday and Saturday; entire lower floor, 25c; entire balcony, 15c. PRICES —Every night and Sunday matinee, lower floor, 35c and 50c; balcony, 25c and 35c.