THE mail occasionally brings me strange communications. Some people
consider it humorous to waste their time and postage—not to mention
my time—by sending scurrilous, obscene, and, sometimes, meaningless
notes. The most recent of the communications of this class is in the form
of a conundrum, as follows: “If you have nothing to write about can you
write nothing about it? Yes? No?”
My correspondent, appropriately enough, s*gns this, “Nobody, of No
where.” Evidently he (or she, for the communication is typewritten and
4\ consequently lack.0* any clue as to sex, which is often furnished by liand
V « writing) considers this funny, and chuckles to think of the time-wast'ng
dilemma I am in, pondering over it. If it was the writer’s purpose to cause
me any such disquietude, let him cease to rejo’ce. For, so far from hitting
the mark he aimed at, he has supplied me with a theme and thereby defeated
his own malignity.
“Nothing” is by no means so despicable a subject to write about. A story
is told of one of the kings of Pruss’u-I believe it was Frederick the Great
—who decided to select his court preacher in the following manner: The
i applicants for the position were to enter the pulpit, wholly unprepared in
regard to the subject about which the king would require them to preach.
He himself was to furnish the text. The first applicant was a bright, noble
visaged, serious-looking young man. After he had entered the pulpit a slip
of paper was handed to him by one of the king s attendants. He scanned
iirsl one side, then the other with great care and apparent agitation; and
ft then, with flushed countenance, but in a calm voice said:
“Brethren, his majesty has sent to me this piece of paper the text
from which desires me to preach. As you yourselves can see there is noth
ing written on either side of this paper-nottvng! Do you realize the sig
nificance of the word “nothing?” Out of nothing God created the heavens
and the earth!”
From that point on the preacher had easy sailing, and he made the
most of his opportunity. The king sought no further. He chose the man
who could make so much out of “nothing.”
* * *
FROM the carlist times, during the period antedating Plato and Aristotle,
philosophers have been wrangling as to whether there is any real thing
corresponding to “nothing:'’ in other words, whether we can conceive of
“nothing" as of “something." At times the discussion over this seemingly
silly subject has been so heated as to cause great enmities.
What has made the strife so keen and so interminably long is the fail
ure of the disputants to distinguish between what may be called "absolutely
nothing" and "relatively noth'ng.” Discussion about “absolutely nothing is
Idle, indeed. The human mind is so constructed that It cannot even Imagine
so perfect a void:' Try as we will, even though we succeed in imagining away
the entire universe, we would still see before our mind’s eyes an intermin
able extent of space into which worlds without number could be crowded.
But there, is no such difficulty when we try to picture to ourselves a
•'relative nothing.” By this is meant “nothing” relatively to the things that
we can grasp with our minds. The Nirvana which the Buddhists pray to
attain is "nothingness" in this relative sense. Tt^is nothing only in the
sense that it is none of the things that this world in which we live presents.
In a somewhat similar sense John Scotus Erigenn, who lived in the ninth
century, and was one of the greatest philosophers the world lias ever seen,
as well as being but little short of a saint, addresses God, "Oh, thou infinite
Noth'ng:" This, at first blush, seems irreverent; but. if properly analyzed
it is found to he the very pinnacle of adoration, for, by this expression Scotus
r Krigena (who must not be confounded with the famous scholastic, Duns
4 Scotus, of the twelfth century) meant to convey the idea that God is exalted
beyond any attribute that we know of, that can titjy be applied to Him.
i hi other words, God is nothing of any of the things wc know of or can even
imagine, 'hence, relatively, “Nothing.'
** * * *
SO. you sec. friend "Nobody, of Nowhere," your conundrum, designed to be
scoffing), has a deeper sense than your mischievous spirit surmised. If
you regard my reply a satisfactory solution of the problem you propounded
" It will not have been propounded in vain. For it will be proof that it has
made you think, and once you have been started on the road to THINK
ING, you will soon become too earnest to waste your time in silly, practical
" jokes and pranks.
3t --■ -"• -- , —i ■ ——- ■■
THE NEWARK—"Last 100 Days of Napoleon.” Historical film classic; 2:30
and 8:30 p. m. /
ORPHEUM—"The Man Who Owns Broadway.” musical comedy. Matinee
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.
KEENEY'S—Vaudeville and moving pictures. Continuous from 1 to 11 p. m.
't LYRIC—Vaudeville and feature photoplays. Continuous from 10:30 a. m. to
_ 11 p. m. ...
MINER'S—"Belles of Beauty Row” and racing carnival (Frank L. Kramer,
f Jackie Clark, George Wiley, Elmer Collins). Matineees daily. Country
store. Tuesday; amateurs, Thursday.
I STRAND—Moving picture masterpiece, "The Sea \\ olf. Continuous from
11 a. m. to 11 p. m. ____
This is a story of r schoolboy who
renamed Home on Monday with a
t circular issued from the Court House
t by the Mosquito Exterminating Com -
f mission: “Pop," said he. “any time
you get bit by a mosquito this sum
£ mer Just call up tiie Court House and
they’ll send a man un and extermi
H Jiato it."—Paterson Cail.
".Sometimes a virtue can be ex
aggerated until it becomes a vice,’
said tlio adviser.
"I see e.xactlj what you’re cornin'
at," replied Tarantula Tim. "Where
as four aces is a blessln' an’ greatly
to be admired, five of ’em kin create
untold dissension." — Philadelphia
MISS CAMPBELL TELLS WHY
SHE LIKES MUSICAL COMEDY
Declares It Permits of a Nat
uralness Not Possible in
Ky L. II. Bessel I.
The alluring feature of musical
comedy for Miss Oeorgio Campbell,
who is singing leading parts with
the Orpheum Musical Comedy Com
pany, at the Orpheum Theatre, is that
she can be natural. Naturalness is
one of her greatest assets, says the
little star, and she is perfectly happy
when not compelled to "act out."
Miss Campbell confided to me be
tween cues during the matinee per
formance of "The Man Who Owns
Broadway," yesterday, that her
greatest ambition is to play parts
like Maude Adams in the legitimate.
Her inspiration, so to speak, is the
actress who helped make famous Sir
James Barrie’s ’’The Little Minis
ter" and "Peter Pan.”
"I am just crazy about Maude
Adams," declared Miss Campbell. "I
think that she is simply divine.”
Her intense enthusiasm told only
too plainly that her "inspiration"
was always uppermost in her mind.
Whenever she mentioned Maude
Adams’s name her eyes seemed to
dance with delight and she empha
sized the argument by clasping her
hands and clenching them until they
My efforts to learn more about her
desires to follow in the footsteps of
Maude Adams were suddenly halted
here when Miss Campbell hurriedly
excused herself to “take a curtain,"
as she expressed it. That the cur
tain had been “taken" very satisfac
torily was evident when she returned
by the sm'le .of pleasure that
wreathed her face.
Turning again to the questions of
musical comedy and its charms the
little star said another reason for
her preference to this character of
work over opera was that it permit
ted of comedy in the lines of the
women, where in opera no such op
portunity was afforded.
1 love comedy,” declared -Miss
Campbell, "and I know the audience
likes comedy. Therefore, it is much
easier to please them.
“In opera an actress is never given
a comedy part and that makes it
When I ventured to ask Miss
Campbell how long she had been in |
musical comedy and opera she looked ,
at me for a moment and then ex- '
claimed: “You're not going to ask me j
how old I am, are you?” Li st no i
time in setting her at rest on that \
point, for T iiaid made the mistake of i
daring to ask an actress her age in
my earlier days in newspaper work,
and with almost disastrous results to
After th's “bridge had been
i crossed" Miss Campbell said that she
luis been In musical comedy and
I opera for over ten years and for the
| past seven summers she has played
i in musical comedy stock. Last year
was the tirst winter season that she
had played in stock.
This is the thin} time that the little
star of the Orpheum Musical Comedy
i Stock Company has played in New
i ark. She made her initial bow bc
1 fore local theatregoers at Proctor's
| Park Place Theatre last spring, when
' she sang the principal female role in
: "The Mikado," and also appeared in
! “Fra Diavolo. " During the same sura
1 mer she again played here with the
comic opera company at Olympic
Park, where she made an instan
taneous lilt, wh'ch she has repeated
at the Orpheum.
| Miss Campbell's first appearance on
the professional stage was in the
original company of the “Beauty and
the Beast," in which she was a danc
ing jjlrl. Her second season was in
the legitimate with Otis Skinner.
Since then the better part of her
work lias been in the musical comedy
Born of a theatrical family miss
Campbell said that there was noth
ing: left for her to do bat follow in
the footsteps of father and mother,
as it seemed only natural to her to
go on the stage. The thoughts of
i ever entering another profession
! were absolutely foreign to her and
sin could do noth'ng but answer the
call of the footl'ghts.
That her ability as an actress is
partly inherited is probably only
natural, us her father’s sister was
•Molly" May Irwin, who is known
from coast to coast and in the coun
tries across the sea.
Newark aud'enees hold a warm spot
in the heart of Miss Campbell, for
Miss Geopfi© Campbell.
she revealed that secret to me early
in our interview. She declared that
real dramatic worth is quickly recog
nized and just as quickly rewarded.
Playing before a theiitreful of New
arkers is wrhat the little star of the
Orpheum company calls a real treat
and incentive to good work, for ap
plause is freely given.
What Miss Campbell beiieves
pleases her most is that in Newark
she is welcomed as one of “the
family" Immediately, and she feels
at home at once.
The lure of the movies has so far
failed to have any attraction for
M'ss Campbell, for she has never been
“filmed'’ for the movies. She lays
that to the fact that she "don't take
good in pictures." which statement
is undeniably' open to argument.
Miss Campbell declares that, she is
looking forward to the coming sum
mer with great delight and hopes to
still be singing for the pleasure of
local amusement lovers when the
I Brownell-Stork Stock Company opens
1 its regular winter season.
Couldn’t Blame the Pump.
A lumberman having awakened on !
a Sunday morning in a "dry town. ' j
after a big spree of the night be- i
fore, searched ins pockets in vain, j
Being very thirsty he remembered
stumbling over a pump in the alley !
back of the hotel.
He hastened to the pump and be- i
gat: pumping, but without results, as 1
the pump had not been primed. He :
slowly backed away and, eyeing the :
pump, said: "Well, I don’t blame i
you for not working, anyhow. I |
wouldn't patronize you when I had j
Accent on the A.
Redd—There is very little difference j
bet weed a booster and a boaster.
Greene—Perhaps, but you must ud- !
mit there is a difference.—Yonkers j
| Crimsonbeak—I sec by the papey
l that automath- cafes are to be es
tablished at Sidney, Australia. What's
an automatic cafe?
Yeast—Why. I guess it’s one tint*
throws a man out when he’s had
_ __ i
I Free Instruction
Latest Dance Steps
Thes Dansants Daily
:ii:tn »« 0:::> p. >i.
Hcst Luncheon iu Town, !tn„
11:30 A. M. to 3:30 P. M.
Dollar Dinner De Luxe,
0:30 to 9 P. M.
Keene? Theatre ISiiildlnj;
it’s Perfectly Ecuy
“E-Z” to Buy Here
“E-Z*’ to Pay Here
Many of Our Customers Could Easily
Pay Cash, But TheyPrefer to Buy Their
At Ceish Store Prices
There's a reason—We offer every convenience to be had elsewhere—
and, in addition, we present many attractions other stores cannot give.
For Spring and Summer
We offer larger stocks and greater varieties at
lower prices—in latest styles and best qualities.
Coats, Suits, Millinery, Dresses,
Waists, Skirts, Hats, Shoes, Etc.
For All the Family—and It’s the Easiest Thing in the World to
PAY THE WAY
pir ad Aour goods and our prices—if you can duplicate your purchase in any
” n 1 other store, at our prices and on our terms, within 30 days we will
refund your money.
D. WOLFF & CO.
Newjemey’s Largest Crotlit Clothiers
L. L. FRIEDMAN, President
upstairs—85-87 Market St., Newark—1Upstairs
An act that falls little short of being
a vaudeville classic is on the Keeney
bill for the last half of the week. It
is Hugh Herbert and company’s
production of "The Son of Solomon,"
the story of which is based on the
love of a Jewish father for his er
ring son- As the old Hebrew, Mr.
Herbert was very good, and his sup
porting company of two persons were
Howard Hastings and company,
five persons, do an amusing buriesque
on (he current rage for society dances,
during which some very graceful and
also some very awkward tangoing
and “maxixing ' are indulged in. Cul
len and West got off a line of talk,
rfiost of which was new and pleased
Fiddler and .Shelton, two negroes,
have a refined act that is very
humorous and far better than the
average run of such acts. Mark Llat,
a Newark boy. does some fine work on
the violin. Taylor and Brown sing
some new songs in a catching man
ner, the woman member of this team
being very pretty. Ward. Belie and
Ward close the bill with a tumbling
and acrobatic act that is very good.
The Prince of Monaco, who having
had both an English and an Ameri
can wife, knows whereof he speaks,
said of marriage at a dinner:
"Through marriage a French wom
an gains her liberty, an English wom
an loses hers, and an American wom
The prince paused and looked quiz
zically about him.
"Yes? The American woman?”
said a debutante.
"The American woman," ended the
prince, "continues to do as she likes,”
Nose Longer Than Arms.
Pat getting up hurriedly one night
and feeling around cautiously in the
dark, with his two arms extended,
came to an open door and his arms
went on each side of the door, with
the result that Pat bumped his nose
on the edge of it.
•'Begorro'.” he exclaimed, "this is
the firret toime I iver knew me nose
was longer than me arrms."—Public
! CURTAIN CALLS J
A novelty in a line of entertainment
that is being worked overtime Juet at
the preser* time ,s being inter! dated
In "The Man Who Owns Broadway ’ i
at the Orpheum Theatre this week by
Miss Primrose Semon, the gingery
little soubrette of the Orpheum Musi
cal Comedy Company, assisted by
four couples of dancers.
It Is called the "Evolution of the
Dance" and leads the attd ence
through tht succession of dances that
have been the vogue since 1F20, start
ing with th> minuet and ending with
the tango Mis Sadie Livermore and
Miss Maj Murray dance the minuet,
Augustus M.nton and Miss G .rtrude
O’Connor, the waltz; Mite Ethel
Fisher and Miss Eleanor Mascotte,
the buck dance, and Miss Semon and
Hudson Freeborn, the tango. All of
the dances arc well performed and
have received rounds of applause the
The musical comedy, "The Girl from
Bond Street." is to move from New
York to London—principals, ehorte,
scenery and all—as the result of a
contract closed with George Ed warden
by Morris Gest and Lee Shubert i
London. The only exception in the
moving of the entire production is
Gaby Deslys, who is starring with
Sami Bernard in the piece here. Gaby
will be supplanted in London by Ina
Claire, now playing In London in
"The Girl from Utah."
While many theatres in New York !
are closing their doors for the long
summer's vacation, "Today" still con
tinues supreme in its occupancy of
the Forty-eighth Street Theatre,
where it has been for the past eight
months. Having passed its Z39th per
formance mark, "Today" is now well
started tow-ards the 300th milestone
on its progress to posterity. It en
joys the enviable record of having
been the drama longest on the New
York stage this season.
"Today's" new leading lady, Ethel
Valentine, has scored the biggest hit
of the season. Coming to New York
from the obscurity of a Western
stock company. Miss Wa'entine has
achieved a success oftentimes record
ed in fiction, but rarely in real life.
"Today" will probably come to the
Shwbort Theatre here the latter part
One of the legends of Lady Win
dermere’s Fan,’" playing at the Lib
erty Theatre, New York, concerns
the close of the first act. When his
wife is growing more arc more Jeal
ous of the mysterious Mrs. Erlynne.
to whom her husband has made such
generous presents of money, not even
tlie audience knew thaL it was to his
mother-in-law that the checks went
The* success of tlie play at First
seemed to hang in the balance.
George Alexander finally got permis
sion from Wilde to insert toward the
last acetic of the act—it may have
been tile last speech in it—some such
soliloquy as How can I ever tell li* r
that Mrs Er’ynne is her mother?"'
The legend goes on to tel, that the
succtss of the play became decided
from the time that the audience was
definitely let into the secret of the
heroine s parentage. In spite of this
the line was not spoken by Mr. de
Cordoba at the Hudson Theatre Miss
Anglin's success has not been in the
least diminished on that account.
She has been most, successful with
the revival of the play, although the
original production of It at Wallack's
Theatre cost Charles Frohman $39,00(1,
Has the public grown interested in
the sparkle of Wilde’s delightful
paradoxes since that time or is it the
superiority of the p'eee to most of the
drivel now acted that has won favor
j for the play?
Grace Coburn, engaged at 3:3<i
o'clock yesterday afternoon to play
one of the leading parts in "The
Crioline Girl." in which Julian El
tinge is starring in the Knickerbock
er Theatre, New York.' appeared last
night and went through the part |
practically letter perfect.
Helen Luttrell, w'ho has been play- ;
lng the part of Dorothy Ainslev, was ,
taken suddenly ill yesterday, there
was no understudy, and for a while I
the office force of A. H. Woods was
ori tenterhooks. Some one suggested
Miss Coburn and she was located
She reached the theatre long past
6 o'clock and a little after X opened
the play, the lines demanding that
Some of the best vaudeville that
ha* been brought to Newark in
month* i> on the Lyric program for
the last three days of the week. The
vaudeville t* not only first class, but
the moving pictures are all of the
kind tbar ire featured by the better
class of motion picture houses
"Hearts .Adrift is Uie movie head
liner. It t* a thrilling love story, fttil
of pat I hi*. Mar> Pickford takes the
leading role in this picture.
Heaning tne vaudeville program is
La Duke and Parker in a very funny
sketch entitled "The Minister's Wife’
Bobby and Bill, with a line of chatj
ter, art also a big hit. These t»f
acts kept the aud.ence laughing con,
tinuously to: a half-hour las* night. |
A character singing act is ofTerem
by Condon and Doyle. Dolly Modem
also appears in a singing act. BotJ
are well received. The Danslngs ha\§
a clever acrobatic act- "Gilbert." a*
operatic singer, adds a little polish
to the bill.
A lady ambles to a store
To buy a spool of thread.
At first she looks at hats galore.
Then carving knives and bread.
From there she travels to the aisle
Where davenports are kept.
And then she lingers for a while ,
Around the ribbon dept.
She looks at frying-pans and lace, *
Inspects the latest books.
She prices lotions for the face
And linen goods and hook*. ■
And when she's canvassed all the
And clerks are nearly dead.
; .She brings the matter to a point
And buys a spool of thread.
Best Regards to Sceience.
, "Science attacks the sandwich" !*
I a headline. Here's hoping it has bet
! ter luck with it than we have had
with some purchased at railway lunch
i she appear on the stage when the
first curtain rises.
She was the recipient of congest}
ulatiuns from Eitinge and the reel
of the company and was engaged fof
the balance of the season.
-When You Think of Home and Its Furnishings
THINK OF CROWN COMPANY FIRST
Young couples taking this first step in home-turnishing will find it especially to their
advantage to visit this store before buying—for we offer you every convenience to be
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CRE 1> I T
A neatly designed,
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carved top; can be
bad with wood or
cobbler seat; oak
or mahogany fin
ish. We consider
this n good $2.00
Here Are Our Famous Terms—The Smallest on Earth
St ro ii g 1 y to n~1
spindle back, well
braced, built of
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scat. We consider
this a srood
1 $15 Value
structed of oak,
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French plate mir
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roomy drawers in
base. Mounted on
casters. Wc con
sider this a good
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\ ROOMS 1
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Frames of oak in
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terior fitted with
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sider this a good
Well built, smooth 1
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our special price is
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consid#r this a good |
Colonial style, has 2-inch posts,
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n c consider 4
this a good $12
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brass caps on posts.
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Similar to cut; has 2-inch con
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rods in head and foot; finished in
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this a good *20
| Oak frames, well
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fortable cane seat.
*•.’0.00 X alue
golden finish, deep
space. Has heavy'
Extension Dining Table
Of American oak. polished golden finish, large
pedestal, heavy feet.'round top, family size exten
sion. We consider this an excellent $15.00 value.
In polished gold
en oak, large mir
drawer and cabi
net space. We
I consider this a
good $18.00 value.
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